Woman Forces her Parents to get a Nose Piercing 

I gasped when the MIL in the first story said "Your mom is never going to meet your daughter" What the actual hell, thats so disrespectful, thats like a big reason for naming her daughter after the late mother

I think the nose piercing thing is because older people often find nose piercings objectionable. The idea being you can see our child when you go through the embarrassment and pain of having a piercing you do not want exactly as you put our baby through the pain and trauma of having a piercing she was not able to consent to. It's a "see how that feels" sort of tit for tat thing and I understand it. So Good apple.

I think the mom was just trying to make a point not an ultimatum. The grandma has a choice to pierce her nose while the baby can’t choose if she wanted her ears pierced.

I think the idea with the nose ring is to enforce that it's a piercing the person gets, mostly against their will, that they could resent forever. I think it's their way of saying "put yourself in my daughter's shoes, she's stuck with this, even if she hates it"

That 1st one was crazy- That mother in law was crazy about saying that "Oh shes never gonna meet her" that is so inappropriate to say to your daughter in law

In the last one (nose piercing), what you're missing is that it wasn't the baby's choice to get her ears pierced and so now the parents are getting a taste of their own medicine.

Your not treatin her different because shes ya stepkid your treatin her different because shes dangerouse to your other daughter

Story 4 the mom just wants her parents to feel the pain that her daughter was in. Good apple❤❤❤

They pierced the baby against their will. She's saying she will only talk to them when they are pierced against their will.

3rd story, different perspective: the daughter knows that the dad is not a good person, she has requested no contact for the moment. There is also the fact that it may be traumatizing or painful for her to talk about or to her dad, or to hear other people speak of him. Therefore, I am going good apple, as the mum is likely thinking of the effect that telling her daughter this news will have on her.

So Story 2, speaking as a step-child whose step-parent helped pay for college, it wasn't something I expected. My step-dad chose to help me with college. He felt it was fair since he'd helped his three other kids. But it wasn't ever something I expected or demanded. I was totally cool with continuing to apply for loans. Emma doesn't sound like she's being a good step-daughter, so I feel like the step-mom isn't in the wrong here. She shouldn't expect it, when she hasn't done anything to earn it. Story 3, my bio-dad stopped being a present person in my life after my parents divorced. He was trying to "punish" my mom for wanting a divorce, and instead he just hurt me. So I spent many years hating him, not seeing or talking to him. And my mom supported that 100%. She let me take the lead on whether or not he would be in my life. And when he died a couple years ago, she told me if I wanted to travel for his funeral, she would help me do that, but if I didn't want to, she would support me in that too, especially if my half-siblings and other family gave me any grief over it. I didn't go. And luckily, my half-siblings were understanding of that. So I feel like letting the daughter take the lead is the right thing to do. Let her decide if she wants her father in her life, on her terms.

The logic on that last one isn’t a when pigs fly thing. I believe it’s an eye for an eye thing. You pierced my daughter against my wishes and if you want to see my daughter “I’ll” pierce your nose against your wishes. Everything after that is spot on. Communication is king, someone put stupid pills in the drinking water, crab apple bingo bango.

Story 1: oh my gosh, the MIL is so entitled, her mother DIED and it’s not YOUR kid either. The name is honoring her DEAD MOTHER not everything is abt you 100% good apple Also, for apple 3: daughters aren’t toys who can be thrown out the moment you find a partner. He’s done this many times according to the story. Also if the kid aware that the dad is bad and she wants to see him then she doesn’t have to, if someone isn’t respecting you then you don’t need them in your life. Good apple

Story #4: I really believe that the nose piercing thing was deliberately chosen. Something that they deliberately knew that the grandparents would never agree to in a million years. It's weird, but I also feel like there's maybe some familial contexts there as well

I think because they took the choice away and made baby girl get her ears pierced, they were making them feel that way? Get you pierced even though you don’t want to. I got my ears pierced when I was nine after BEGGING my Mamì 😂 Also then at 15 got my nose pierced Then a couple months ago got my septum pierced. I’m on board with everything. Including ghosting them for a week. That’s scary behaviour, the grandparents deciding to do something after they’ve been told NO. And it’s not like spoiling or even showing them a movie or something That was piercing her EARS! Which is alot of maintenance, and a baby’s ears can get infected and might not get noticed.

Story 2: good apple!! That is so gross that not only is Emma not nice, or at least civil, to her step sister but going out of her way to make this 9 year old child scared of her. My stepdad helped pay for our rent when my dad wouldn't pay more child support, but he did not have to. If my sister treated his kids like cr@p, I wouldn't get mad if he gave me something and not her, cause it doesn't matter if it's ur sister, ur step sister or a stranger on the street, that's gross to do to a child!!!

Story 4 I took it as. Well if you are willing to alter My childs appearance. Well then you have to alter your as well. Because why would they refuse to change their bodys permenatly to see their grand child if, you know, alter your appearance "isn't a big deal".

Story #3 - I say she’s a good apple. My mother was in and out of our lives, she was addicted to drugs and she was emotionally as well as physically abusive towards my siblings and I. My dad finally stepped in and kicked her out and filed for sole custody (which he got) and our lives got so much better. That mom putting her daughter’s feelings into consideration and making that a priority is so important. In and out parents cause damage to children that those children then have to live with even as adults. Good apple in my book.

When you pierce a child’s ears with a piercing machine, it can open your child up to infections and diseases. The gun if not regularly cleaned usually has trapped pieces of skin cells and tissues trapped inside. Also, it should be the child who says “Ok I am ready, or okay with getting a piercing.” The grandparents took away a mini milestone from the birth parents. So no she is not wrong to avoid the family after that.

I think with the piercing story the op is coming from the perspective of “if a piercing is no big deal and we are overreacting then go and get one…oh you don’t want to? But why? As you said, I was fine as a baby and you are adults so you should definitely be fine.” It’s still a weird ultimatum and petty but I think that’s what they are getting at

Last story: you got our baby’s ears pierced when we didn’t want to so since you don’t want your noses pierced then get them done and you can see the baby. I can see the logic. Kinda teaching the parents a lesson

The piercing story just seems more like an ultimatum. You pierce your noses, which you don't want to do, is like an eye for an eye for piercing the baby.

For the last story, the nose peircing, in my opinion, is to help the parents understand the concept of consent. Like, they, as concious and autonomous people, give an out-right no to a peircing is fine, that's the point, but they are failing to realize they took that away from someone. And are completely overlooking that concept, even when logic is presented to them. It may be a completely ridiculous demand but I don't believe they actually want them to get their nose peirced to prove anything to them, but to get them to realize the error of their ways and fully state they understand where they went wrong and why. It just seems like they will always cross the line considering they think they did nothing wrong, and their argument isn't based on logic nor understanding.

Story #4: The grandparents equate piercing ears as "no big deal," so the mom picked a nose piercing because the grandparents can understand that a nose piercing is a big deal. I know this information is not given, but they can take out the piercing and let the ears heal. It will be like it never happened, of course, never leave the child with them again, but I am not sure about the no contact. I think maybe just FaceTime? You don't want to completely cut out family when plenty of people have no family to speak of. Only do "no contact" if the family member is toxic and/or abusive. And I DO count ear piercing as assault, but the parents didn't understand that. Different countries have different cultures.

Story 1: Good Apple🍏 Story 2: Good Apple🍏 Story 3: Good Apple🍏 Story 4: Good Apple🍏 Apple Pie🍏🥧!!! (For me atleast)

For the third story, I would like to say good apple. As a child who was abandonned by my mother at the age of 13, I can say that even when my mom begged on her knees for a second chance, I told her no since she was the one who abandoned me. My father doesn't talk about her often and when he does, he always reminds us we're valid to feel how we want but shouldn't let that effect us or the way we treat others. The way OP handled the situation of waiting for her child to bring it up is very respecting as I can say from personal experience, it's very upsetting and disappointing to see or hear that the one who left you beg for a second chance they don't deserve. (Just speaking from experience, don't take this as me speaking for OP's child)

I gotta disagree with the last two. I'd say good apples all around. For the third story, I feel like if the kid is old enough to know they're dad is being shitty and not want him back in their life, the mother is fine to respect that and not mention he's trying to reach back out. I think her approach of waiting til her kid brings it up is fair enough. For the last one, the point of the piercing ultimatum is to show how much someone else choosing a piercing for you against your wishes can affect you. Sure you could take it out later, but the scar tissue means it'll probably never be normal again. Its to show the lasting damage that this violation of consent could have by making them go through it if they want the relationship. And its already better than what they did by default, because unlike the daughter's ears where it was explicitly said that was not what they wanted and it happened with them having no choice in the matter, the grandparents ultimately do have a choice. The choice is either don't get the piercing if they don't want it and cant see what they've done, or get it, understand what they've done, and be able to see their granddaughter.

Technically, we are ALL named after dead people. 😂

The fourth - I like the ultimatum. OP is making the parents think about doing something to their bodies that isn't in line with their beliefs and/or that will really hurt. When I talk to kids about piercings or tattoos, I use the opportunity to remind them that their bodies are *theirs* and that they're sacred, and no one has the right to touch them unless they approve it. Their bodies, their boundaries. In my opinion, OP's parents crossed that line _along with all the other lines_ that they blatantly stepped on. I'm calling Good Apple. Maybe even with cinnamon. (Didn't Rebecca in the Old Testament have her nose pierced? (Hey, that's what my old Bible Stories said.))

Last story hits close to home my biological mother got my ears pierced once she was able to when I pulled out the earring and almost choked on it my biological mother said it was just a one off grandmother decided no more earrings & adopted me months later because of neglect & abuse

Rebecca! The missing piece for number four, is the fact that her parents ears were piersed. Sooo, she was saying you have to pierce ___ because you pierced my daighters ears.

Story #2 - While I ultimately land on good apple -- the OP has the right to do whatever she wants to with her money -- I feel it's still a sensitive issue, speaking as someone who had a contentious relationship with my step-parent. When you create a situation where you treat one stepchild better than another, it's going to lead to resentment, and the onus is on the parents to figure out what's best for everyone. OP should have communicated to the step-daughter early on "Listen, I'm not going to be able to help you out financially" rather than potentially create a situation where this expectation could have existed.

You have such a wonderful and insightful grasp on all the situations placed before you for someone so young. You would make an exceptional therapist. I agree with all of your decisions, especially after hearing your reasons. This channel is a great teaching forum and an informational gold mine. I hope to see your channel for a very long time. Thanks for being you.

Story #3 - Dude is a horrible father and, unless the daughter decides she wants to see him, there's too many red flags there. If they bring him back in, it will only lead to a plethora of abandonment issues.

Story 4 - I hear the ultimatum as being "you got something of ours (the baby) pierced that we did not want pierced, so to make it right, you must pierce something that you don't really want to pierce". A sort of token that they might truly be sorry for their overstep.

I say good apple for story #3. I know for me I would feel encouraged to get into contact with the dad if the mom brought it up. We don’t know how old this child is but the child said she doesn’t want to be in contact with her dad. I don’t disagree with wanting her to know it’s an option, but I know I would feel pressured to get in contact with him if she brought it up. I feel like the mom would be bringing it up for the dad’s sake and the daughter could likely understand that. It could make her feel bad for not wanting to get in contact with him. Also, this man dipped out on his own child twice. That’s not a good father who deserves to be in his child’s life. I don’t think the mom would be wrong to bring it up again with her daughter, but overall I don’t think she’s the bad apple if she doesn’t. For story #4, I say good apple. This reminds me of the story from a while back where a student demanded a teacher take off her hijab. The grandparents weren’t understanding why this was a problem, and the parents wanted to put it into a perspective that they could understand. They demanded they get their nose pierced, not because they want them to, but I think it was to put it into a perspective that the grandparents could understand and see how ridiculous their actions were.

The third story I don’t think anyone could change my mind. I believe that she is a good apple. If my mom did this to me I would feel pressured. This dad has abandoned his child many times and is NOT her father. The story says her husband adopted her father. He had no rights and it’s her choice.

I think the parents in the 4th story are saying that because they made the daughter get piercings she/the parents didn't want now grandparents have to get piercings they don't want as a "You understand how it feels now" kind of thing? But yeah still a little weird.

Happy Belated Birthday Rebeca!!

Apple #1 Good apple Apple #2 Good Apple Apple #3 Good Apple Apple #4 Good Apple

Who else loves this series?

The girl in story 2 sounds like she might need help reckoning with her parents’ divorce. That can really affect a kid.

I'm going good apple on the last one. I'm completely on board with the mom saying to the grandparents that they're not allowed to see their granddaughter after what they did! I wasn't at all confused by the last statement.

Story #3....Mom is the good apple! If daughter is old enough to say "I don't like the way he treats us and I don't want to see him again" she's old enough to have recognized Dad's patterns and I don't think mom is being a crab apple... she's protecting her daughter from further let downs. He's already abandoned her twice in her life. He doesn't deserve a 3rd chance unless daughter initiates it.

Story 4: They probably know the grandparents well enough to know that they’d never pierce their noses so it’s kind of like “you can see my daughter, if you change something big about your appearance that you’d never willingly change” it’s like garden of Eden, like “am god and your punishment is getting thrown out forever” or something like that. But if they did pierce their noses it would show that they actually cared and it’s a fitting punishment since they permanently made holes in their granddaughters ears against her and the parents will so they should get the same treatment if they want to be a part of their family. And it’s a huge deal to pierce your nose. It’s a sensitive part of your face that you don’t usually want holes in. Especially at their age. I bet they’d rather never see their granddaughter again than pierce their ears with those big holes where you can see through the hole cause it’s so big. So a piercing in the face? Yeah, I see that as a fitting punishment.

It is indeed very weird for those rules.

Story 2: the only way I would give the mom a good apple is if she explained to her stepdaughter why she is not helping her otherwise, she would get a crabapple. I grew up in a blended family with step siblings from my stepdad and stepmom, and was treated equal by both of my step parents and my step siblings, and I gave them the same respect as well. if you don’t give respect then why do you assume you’re going to get respect?

I think this is the first time I haven’t fully agreed with you 😂😂 I got 4 good apples. The last one is definitely because the baby can’t choose to get their ears pierced now. It definitely should have been her choice.

OMG YOU SHOULD NAME HALF GOOD AND HALF CRAB A CARMEL APPLE

I think your take on all of these was spot on. There was a lot of nuance in #3 and #4 was odd in the parents take on the nose piercing.

"I'm sad that my daughter won't treat her step sibling and step mom with respect and she is unfortunate getting the consequences of her actions." OP's husband in the second story probably.

Technically in Percy Jackson pigs do fly so yeah … never mind that doesn’t even make sense

Love this series 😄

Don't think the pigs are ever gonna fly ‼🤣 1 - Good Apple, 2 - Bad Apple, 3 - Mom Good Apple / Dad Bad Apple, 4 - Good Apple

I had a pastor one time preach a sermon that involved speaking to parents to a certain extent. He was in his early 20s and was married with no children at the time. His disclaimer was that he was speaking on things from the perspective that he was at one time a child and had worked with children in different capacities. I think your disclaimer before the parenting stories is good for viewers to know. At the same time, I don't want you to devalue or dismiss your own opinions.

Can’t wait to watch this!!

My best friend went through the same thing as #1. Her mom threw such a fit they ended up using both mom's names as middle names.

In story 2, she 100% the good Apple in my opinion. The girl is rude to her kid and they don’t have a relationship. It’s not like she’s treating her stepkids different than her bio kid and I think it’s fine.

As someone with an absent father, the op with story 3 is completely right. My dad would come back into my life when he wanted to play the good dad, but when he didnt want to bother I wouldnt hear from him for months. He'd even forget mine and my siblings birthdays.

My dad's mom and aunt cut my hair without permisson when I was a few months old to "make it easier for my mom to do my hair". They all lived, and still do, locally to each other but my mom was LIVID, and there was definitely a severe conversation between my dad and his family after a cool down period. I can't imagine how much worse it would be if they did something that permanent to me.

Story #4 I believe mom was trying to give the grandparents some perspective with the nose ring thing. Yes, it was an attainable thing, but mom most likely knew the grandparents wouldn’t want to get their noses pierced. A piercing is a very permanent thing. Grandparents were way out of line. So I think mom is totally right in that regard. HOWEVER… It’s a little weird to me how mom just left. I totally understand needing space, but maybe talk to them before you just up and go? Not sure. I can’t decide between good apple and crabapple. I feel like mom (kind of) did the right thing but had conflicting intentions with the the nose ring thing. Like Rebecca said, if it’s kind of a “never do that again” sort of thing, why not just say that instead of giving an example of a totally obtainable thing? You’re awesome Rebecca! Keep doing you!❤

As the daughter of a father who kept leaving then coming back into my life, I say it's far better to leave it alone and respect the girl's choice. No, mom should not bring it up--her daughter has clearly stated her position (and she's so fortunate to make that decision so young. I wish I had), and no is a complete sentence. That mom is 100% a good apple for supporting her daughter's decision (and no, it doesn't matter how old the girl is). The potential for the damage he could do by abandoning her again (and it's highly likely he will) is huge. Trust me, I know.

The whole you can’t see your grandchild until you get your nose pierced thing is the weirdest version of a “when pigs fly” ultimatum I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s also kind of stupid because it’s so easily do able.

AITBA for the comments! Am I the bad apple for not going to school? Ok back story I am 15 female and I live with my nana I am doing homebound (basically a teacher comes to my house for 10 hours a week)because of my mental health. I have a problem with leaving and locking myself in my room when I don't want to do something or when I am overstimulated. The teacher invades my personal space by getting shoulder to shoulder with me and when I tell her she is to close she says "oh am I to close?" and proceeds to get closer. A lot resonantly I locked myself in my room for all of the reasons listed above. When I leave I don't think most of the time but sometimes I do. I am trying to work on my problem but I can't. So am I the bad apple if so can you give me advice on what I should do instead of locking myself in my room?

Regarding the second story. It seems like the step-daughter doesn't want a relationship with her step mom except for financial support. I can understand not wanting to have a relationship with your step-mom, but then don't expect her to fork out a ton of money out of her own pocket to fund your education. Either they're family or they're not.

The second one (lady that didn't pay tuition for stepdaughter) is a GOOD apple. It was an objective lesson that one cannot float through society, treating people poorly without repercussions. It would happen to her in any setting. For example, if that child started working and treated people badly, they would get fired. If they went to a theme park and treated employees and other guests poorly, they would get escorted out, etc. Why would we be exempt from consequences from our family members when there isn't a change in heart/behavior? You got it spot on.

With story 3 I was in a similar situation with my dad. He kept putting my brother and I in dangerous situations when we were 10 because of his girlfriend (taking us to adult parties, putting my brother who was 9 in the front seat, letting my brother be bullied by her son and singling us out) so when I brought it up, he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore unless I apologized to him and her. I was 12. I decided then and there I didn’t want to see him anymore. He broke up with her 4 years later and tried to reconnect, apologize for it. Then told me it was my responsibility to put effort into our relationship despite him not giving anything. I was 16. When I was 17, I was exhausted being the only one keeping in contact and he never showed up to anything we planned. So I am now almost 21 and have not talked to him since. Even at my great granpoppies funeral he looked at me and didn’t say hi or even acknowledge me, my brother or my boyfriend’s existence. I say good apple cause I’m sure there is a line of communication open. And despite age it is up to the child to let the mum know if she is interested in that relationship, it should never be the mums decision

Happy birthday, Mrs. Rogers!

Hearing Beccs cuss even though it’s bleeped is mind blowing

At 1st i was like well she does need a father figure but she has 1 and he wants his child who aint his mama to prioritize her dad who didnt prioritize his little girl and saw her as an option dependin on convenience which is the god of entittledment😡👿😠

story 2: your right with good apple!! op is in no way obligated to pay for either of her step kids schooling they have a mom and dad to help while her daughter only has her. the fact she is paying for her step son is so sweet and helps out his parents a ton! the step daughter has a nasty attitude and does not deserve for op to help her without even an apology. this is a good lesson for her on treating others with respect :) she has 2 parents that can help and many scholarship opportunities if she wants to attend college. you made the right call! (i have had 2 step moms and one is still married to my dad and she was a son. my step bro and i are both college students who work and our bio parent helps us with tuition. neither of us ever ask or expect our step parent to help out and we all have an awesome relationship!) story 3: i agree with you 100% as well :) op has the best intention ever but i see where the daughter may feel this deep hurt from thinking her dad doesn’t want her. just letting her know the option is available may save her a lot of mental distress ❤️

I think the issue for story 4 is that the baby was not at the age of consent. So if the parents don't consent to getting a piercing then it's kinda making them feel the same way. I know a lot of parents myself included don't approve of babys getting there ears pierced because they are not able to concent to it.

U made my daughter get priced without consent so you have to do something you don't want to do

I think what their reasoning for the ghosting was they were probably so mad that they were worried they might blow up on the parents and didn’t want to go ballistic for what the grandparents did

Not Rebecca choosing crab instead of bad to avoid the curse😂😂😂😂

I got 4 good apples. The first three stories were some W husbands which I really enjoyed, but I do agree the last story was a little weird. I could definitely switch to crab on the last one

In the nose story I think it is more about the parents proving that they genuinely do want to have a relationship with the kid.

In 10 episodes, It'll be the 100th episode of Am I The Bad Apple!

As a child from a similar situation as story three, personally I agree with the mother. My dad wasn’t really in my life unless my mom forced him to take accountability. By the time I was seven, I learned not to count on him and didn’t want anything to do with him. It just hurt more every time he’d leave because I’d get my hopes up that he’d stay, and that’s mentality has made me question my self-worth ever since. I’m twenty now and my dad has tried to get back in our lives over the past couple of years (our being my younger brother and I, who also shares the same father). My brother was too young to remember our dad leaving, so he never really had that problem. Recently though, our father has gone back to barely being in our lives and if I’m honest, I expected it. He has three other children with his current wife and puts them first, which I understand, but my brother doesn’t. He’s angry at our father and overall hurt because he expected things to be different. I never really wanted my father back in my life because him leaving caused me so much harm in the first place, but maybe I was just holding a grudge. I don’t expect him to be in our lives and could honestly care less if he is or not. I just want better for my siblings.

I think the point of the nose piercing ultimatum is “you took away our daughter’s right to choose to have a piercing. Now either you don’t get that right to have a say either or you can’t see her anymore”.

Am I the Hydrapple? 🤔

You are my fav youtuber!!

The “don’t scare her - AVERY” was a great moment as much as the “is that my cat?”

on the last story i assumed the same thing Rebecca said about the nose piercing ultimatum being something akin to "when Hell freezes over." but the way i understood it was that OP and her husband came up with that ultimatum because they know (or at least are incredibly sure) her parents would never agree to it and therefore won't see the granddaughter again after piercing her ears without the OP and husband's permission. i'm of the opinion that you shouldn't pierce a kid's ears until they're old enough to understand what's happening and responsible enough to keep the piercing clean on their own. i was 13 and both of my sister were 12 when we each got our ears pierced. i've known several people who got pierced as babies and wish their parents hadn't done it. some of them have either let the holes close up (as much as possible) or just refuse to wear earrings (which pisses off one of their moms in a hilarious manner). doing it when the kid is a baby because "they're too young to remember the pain" isn't a good enough reason. they might not remember, but they'll cry and/or scream a hell of a lot more in the moment. the older they are, the more easily they can comprehend the pain and the better the chance you might not have to deal with any crying/screaming at all! what a concept! plus it allows the person to have agency in the decision and retain bodily autonomy. edited for clarity

The last story makes me sad. I get that the grandparents overstepped. But the mom did say she was planning to pierce the daughter's ear eventually. However, the parents chose to ghost the grandparents while they were on vacation in a foreign country and did not answer calls. As a parent, that is a terrifying thought, we do not live in a safe world, anything can happen to your kids in travel. I can just imagine the panic the grandparents went through not knowing their child was safe. That action alone would make me think the parents are crabapples. But then the pettiness of telling the grandparents if they ever wanted to see their grandkid or daughter again they would have to pierce their noses is just plain stupid. Having a conversation about boundaries, stealing first moments, and betraying trust would have been much more productive and mature. The daughter did not even give the grandparents time to apologize, she set the ultimatum, and when the parent said 'no' she hung up. I have to go bad apple.

I think for the nose piercing one, they were trying to say that the daughter didn’t necessarily want her ears pierced, because she was too young to make a decision, so if they were going to pierce her ears without her opinion, then they had to pierce their nose even if they didn’t necessarily want to either. I don’t know if that’s right or not, but that’s just what I got from the story.

In Apple number 3, i think it’s good she didn’t want to bring it up so that she didn’t feel like she was pressured

got my tea and snacks and fur baby. im ready to watch

I’d go these for the stories: GA GA GA CA

The third apple I had a similar situation to that when I was younger. My father wasn't in my life until I was 7 and then would frequently ghost me. When I was like 12 I said I never wanted to talk to him again. He would always blame my mom but she said she was respecting my wishes. She never told me when he called or texted. She knew I didn't care. I started talking to him again when I was 14 or 15. He still to this day (I'm 24 currently) ghosts me all the time so I think the mother giving the daughter space to decide on her own is completely fair. As for the fourth apple, what you're missing is the parents think it's perfectly normal to pierce a baby's ears since everyone else in the family has theirs pierced. But she's trying to think of a crazy request that she knows will make them see the error of their ways. If she says "get your ears pierced" that doesn't mean anything because it's not an insane request because she knows they see that as normal. But saying "get your nose pierced" is a crazy and outlandish request that might make them stop to think about what they did.

"There's nothing like puncturing and perforating your skin in a dozen or so places in order to demonstrate your high self-esteem." - George Carlin

The ultimatum is saying "You took away her choice to consent to body modification and put her through unnecessary pain, so you must do something equal to show you are genuinely sorry." It's giving gentle parenting her parents haha! I understand their anger and their choice to give a consequence that felt equal to them, especially as, as you say, it's attainable. I do agree they should have communicated sooner instead of ghosting, so I also think crab apple and I wouldn't necessarily do the same things as them, but I don't blame them. I just think they need to work on communication more

For the fourth story it isn't when pigs fly, it comes down to cultures and decisions, it was basically an assault because the baby had no free will it couldn't make the decision to get its ears pierced, whereas the grandparents or parents can decide if they want to get their nose pierced or not and also Getting your ears pierced and certain coaches as a baby is a very common thing to do it has significant meaning or symbolise ation it's something that a lot of cultures will do but it's also a lot of maintenance so it's not something that everyone wants to get done and perhaps the mum just didn't like that about her parents culture or she just decided no it's probably better for my daughter to have her ears pierced when she gets older And can actually make the decision for herself she didn't want to do it against her child's wishes when she couldn't make that decision for herself and maybe she regrets what her parents did to her and her sister when they were babies since they couldn't make the choice or you know maybe it's just comes down to like the different cultures since her parents are from South America I assume that they're very into that culture we don't know a lot about them but I'd assume that they Hispanic and that she is as well but her husband might be white or from another culture that is more understanding when it comes to letting the child make that decision and she's probably realised oh no it's actually better if my child gets their ears pierced when they are ready and can make the decision for themselves and then obviously she didn't explain all of that to her or maybe she did, but their mindset especially if getting your ears pierced as a baby is part of their culture is that it's no big deal and that she'll thank them for doing it later because even though she said no their mindset is oh she said no but she won't really mind because it's not a big deal she had hers done her sister had hers done as a baby it's a very normal thing to do she'll be fine with it and then obviously when she wasn't that's when they were like oh no we made a mistake and you know that has caused issues and basically what she's saying to them is my baby was forced to get her ears pierced against her will when she couldn't even speak and make the decision it was probably very painful for her and since getting your nose pierced and certain cultures or you know especially when it comes to older people like your parents or grandparents a lot of them think you know knows piercings aren't great they're bad or they look bad you know she's basically saying well my daughter was forced to do this thing against her will that she didn't have a choice and you do have the choice to get your ears pierced and it's probably something that you'll hate and not wanna have done but you'll have to live with and this is something that my daughter now has to live with because you win ahead and did it, now obviously getting your ears pierced or nose pierced isn't as permanent as getting a tattoo that would've been much worse but it's still a very very painful process especially for a young child and I know that they do say if young kids get their is personally not likely to remember it as much as when you're older so I think that's where a lot of it comes from within caches but I still don't think babies should get their ears pierced because they don't have the decision to make on their own since they can't speak so like I understand where that comes from she's basically telling them like my baby was forced to get her ears pierced against her will but you have the choice to get your nose pierced you're a grown adult or your you know grown adults you can decide for yourself whether or not you get this thing done and she kinda just was being a bit spiteful kind of giving them an ultimatum but not really I'm sure she wouldn't mind too much if they got back into contact later when she's older but what they're basically just saying is I understand this is a part of your culture but I didn't want you to do this you did it anyway and now to make things right you need to do this other pretty permanent thing that's gonna be painful and that will teach you the lesson of some people can have free will other people can't and you shouldn't force someone to do something against their own will especially if they're a baby, it might have gone over her parents heads but I think that's where it came from again I understand that it might've gone over your head as well but that's at least what I interpreted from itand I think a lot of other people did too it's just more of a spiteful thing I think basically she's teaching them a lesson in terms of like free versus non-free will.

The point of the nose piercing is like a "if you want to see my child again after doing something out of parental consent then you better better do something you don't wanna to prove you deserve it" it's kind like and "eye for an eye٫ leg for a leg" sort of thing. love ya girl❤❤❤

3. Kid needs to be made aware that he WANTS to see her. That is super important because knowing he's asking will let her know she's wanted, even if she does decide not to meet him. I think she would still want to know he's available, then let her decide

If no one has explained the nose piercing story yet, it is because the parents didn’t want the grandparents poking holes in their child against their will so now they are making the grandparents get holes poked in their faces that the grandparents don’t want.

Story #4: In my family its tradition for the girl to get her ears pierced once shes old enough. Everyone but my younger sister has it. And my grandmother has always insisted she gets her ears pierced because she stands out becsuse she doesnt have them. So from OP's perspective this looks a lot like "see how it feels" when someone tells you to do something you dont want/does without permission. And in simple terms. You pierced her ears without asking. So you have to get your nose pierced to see how it feels to have something you dont want.

Nose piercing - because they took the baby without permission and forced the piercings on the infant , so the daughter now is trying to force the same type of thing on the parents

#4 I totally agree with crab cause honestly them just up and leaving when they were visiting in another country, the parents could have been so worried! I know I would think of worst case scenarios!

Emma decided a long time ago to leave the family unit and live with her mom. The new wife should not feel the need to be obligated.