I was visiting my newly married uncle in 90s. I was a school going kid. My new aunt was the first working woman in the family. She had just come from work. My uncle asked her to make tea. My uneducated grandmother yelled at her son "She is doing your part, by earning money now you have to do her part by helping her with household work, she is just as tired as you are after working in her office". My late grandma who was born in 1934, was a feminist and loved all her daughter- in- laws. She had 6 sons and my mother and my aunts dont have anything negative to say about her.
Good advice sir, working bahu and non working saas should never ever live together in the same house. The big problem will be saas will expect working bahu to do everything in the house because saas will always be reminding her of herself like” when I was a bahu I used to get up at 4 am to make breakfast for everyone, used to do laundry with my hands,used to cook dinner for everyone, on weekends I used to clean the whole house and also took care of the children” And saasu ma is expecting the same from her bahu, ignoring the point that bahu is earning and giving the max cash to the in laws. Want peace, happiness? Live separate, make visits to each other’s houses!
U r right mam but in laws don't let this happen too.they are afraid that they will loose their son and making him emotionally dependent on them till now like when a man reach late 30's still they can not take any decision on themselves,they will utter everything told to them by their parents, they can not think on their own and would expect the girl k yar thoda sa hi to adjust karna hai, can they even imagine to live with their in laws and if such situation arrives can they live in that atomsphere answer is clear NO
Problem in our culture is that elders are never wrong !!! Sir, lot of children go into depression but do not tell their parents that they want to live separately for fear of what other people will say .
Problem is conditioning that parents are correct and evil resides in the children not realising that it's the older generation which sometimes is rigid and doesn't want to change. And it's a harsh truth dusre ki aulaad ko koi pyar nahi karta, the Bahu won't ever get the love which her mother gives her. No matter how much you do there will always be something missing to please the entire clan of in law's. Best is opt for your financial independence have your own house in your own name and do not take shit from anyone. Kyon ki after their death akele khud ki counsellor ke chakkar lagane hote hain
Guys of this generation r the worst …sir is absolutely correct . They wil take advantage of parents also n wife also and sit back doing nothing . Very point on
New Bahu k liye koi khana nhi banata . Sham ki chaye k liye bhi bahu ki wait ki jati h k kab ayegi or chaye banayegi. Morning ka nashta bna k Jana . Koi guest aa geya to uskha bhi bna k jao. Agar ghar se bahar bhi rehte h to har Saturday Sunday Ghar jao . Fir sabki baten suno parents ki sewa Kiya Karo . Bachhe ho gye to aeyge nhi hum apna ghar nhi chhod sakte. Dusri city main akele rho bache Palo job karo . Husband ka koi sath nhi. Parents financial koi help nhi karte. Apna kamaye g apna khaye g.
Meri bahu ko aaye ek saal ho gaya h .Main hamesha usko office ka tiffin aur breakfast chai banaker deti hu aur dinner k taiyyari bhi uske wapas aane se pehle karke rakh deti hu.uske aane per kadak chai banati hu aur wo kabhi apne room m jaker rest nahi karti balki hum chai peeker sofe per letter khoob gappe marte hai jab tak hum dono k husbands ghar aate hai. Uske baad bas 10-12 roti banane ka kaam karna hota h
@@nilinimagupta5311 mam ye to apki achai he na.. bt har ksi k nasib me ap jese samjhdar lady nahi hoti na.. kitna b kamalo kitna b kaam krlo .. 2 roti k lie ginwaya jata he.. I am still happy K kisi k to bahu khush he .. stay happy stay blessed
Me working woman hu or 5 hrs updown rhta h bus se na husband sath rhte h But itna travel krke bhi bas aate hi kitchen me lgo or sabki sewa kro Tabiyat kitni bhi kharab ho but bahu ko kon puchta h Akele ro leti hu but kisi ko nhi kh pati ki socha tha service lgegi to life easy ho jayegi but sab kch ulta hua na meri value na service ki or bas kaam krte rho Mene ab tak ki life se yhi seekha h ki bahu sirf or sirf nokrani hoti h chahe service me ho ya house wife
Dear you have to speak up for yourself...i m a working wife too..but I always communicate my feelings to my husband...then only a common solution can be found
You are right I m 77 years old I was a working woman . But you are practical . I have listen to some other vedios . I m so fed up My children have grown up. I am living alone independently . I m very happy My husband living in another home My son Have different homes So we have three homes :)
Waah Sir ji. Gazab clarity milti h apke videos se. 👏👏 Please cover the scenario of women who are working from home. Managing the kitchen thoroughly and not able to concentrate on job which they are paid for. Because everyone thinks- Ghar se hi toh kaam kar rhi h, 1 ghanta baad kr legi pehle yeh kr lo. In laws be like - full time maid hai ghar me lekin khana bahu k hath ka hi khayege ,cook k hath me swad nahi ata. And Bahu is not able to concentrate on office work due to all this.
@@ygp47 I hope you understand how fragile your job/career is to understand the current job climate and contemplate your comment. I have to deal with this every day with newborn sick MIL and uncooperative husband.
Very very practical and real from a working woman's point of view. Badalte waqt ki jarurat bhi alag hote hai.. Woman cannot do all those things that they used to do. Kar Bhi le to easy nahi hai...struggle hai bohot bada. Abhi ka time alag chal raha hai.
Kudos to you for bringing such discussions and opening eyes of all generations. I make sure I never miss these and there are layers of learning throughout. Much appreciated 🙏
Meri life mein opposite scene hai.. mother -in - law and father -in-law 75+age...they have been dependent on us .. causing frictions for the entire 25 years of my marital life
Without adjustment, ghar grihasthi nahin ho sakti. Best is all members of the household sit down, decide and share expenses , decide who will do what work inside or outside the house ( like buying groceries) and keep one weekend per month for socialising with relatives.
Best is single child family both hus/wife side at least in middle and upper middle class set up so less issues in rich class anyways parents give a separate house at the time of marriage to avoid any issues afterwards but Indian parents want a back up so they have 2 kids only for such purposes nothing else with such toxicity between children and parents children should straightaway ask the parents why did they have them in the first place in public and they should be made to feel guilty so at least they will not trouble the new DINK trend couples
I agree with you sir I suffered for 14 years with my mother in law No freedom Iam working woman No rest for me After coming from work i have to entertain relatives who lived in the same area and my mother in law 's friends This continued for 14 years With the help of my colleague and dear friend iam living separately for the past 10 years Golden time No stress No fight No arguments Peace peace and peace
Very nice video sir. Raat ko bhagvad gita padhti hu. Din me aap ke video se gyan leti hu. Thank you very much sir indian society ke liye aap bahot achha kaam kar rahe ho.
Good answer you gave to that couple. I am a young daughter in law. But i completely agree with u. Some people will take all the help from their own parents or in laws, like in most cases to raise their children since they are working. But will have 1000 complaints and will speak bad against them. If you have so much bad blood then don't stay with them na.
Sir. I know only one thing that i have experienced till now in my life. Every person is comfortable in his or her choice of living and for that many games are played. But its not always the Children or Daughter in law who are at fault. Sometimes, parents also don't want to adjust and they blame the current financial scenario of their children. And when you force them to live with you, they say no by answering that they want PEACE OF MIND. This is quite common for Parents living in small cities and children living in big cities or in fact out of INDIA. A Son cannot blame WIFE for everything if PARENTS don't like her at all as she speaks her mind. So, best decision for any son should be to support his WIFE in such a scenario as she will be passing life with him much longer than his or her parents. And if PARENTS have their favourite SON or DAUGHTER then there is no point of any duscussion ...
Sir.. if in-laws are totally financially dependent on u and wants to live with us in our rented accommodation, and in-laws want the daughter in law to serve them all the time.. and try to create conflict between the couple so to rule the house and son’s finances also.. unko kya kahoge
Exceptional video, fully agree with it. 👏MAG Amrit mera, Vish tumhara. Both side needs to understand that there will always be situation when either side needs the other. The situation need to be looked in totality. As a individual our success is not most of the times only because of us, it is because of the people who support us some times willing or sometimes unwilling but their contribution to our lifes can't be ignored. Gratitude is very important for what we have and always focus on improving our situation in life. We are sometimes not ready to pay the price for the facilities we aspire in life. I think there lies the problem. We want parents when we are in difficult situation but don't want them when we are having good times. We should take ownership of the choices we make in our life. There are choices and it consequences.
विषय और वर्णन अच्छा है । गेस्ट बन कर रहते हैं लेकिन आजकल सास खर्च मांगती है चाहे साथ रहो न रहो। घर के हर खर्चे में डोनेशन दो चाहे मामा की बेटी की शादी, चच्चा के बेटे की शादी। समझदार वही माता पिता हैं जो समय रहते बेटे बहु को अलग कर दो ताकि प्यार भी बना रहे और उन्हें ज़िन्दगी समझने का मौका मिले और वे परिपक्व हो जाये और अपनी जिम्म3दरियों का निर्वहन के4 सके। हमारे मां बाप ने 30 साल पहले हमें खुद कहा के बेटा अपनी ज़िंदगी जियो जैसे दूसरे भाई कर रहे, तुम क्यों बंधे रहो हमारे साथ और हमने भी सारे फ़र्ज़ निभाये उनसे दूर रहते हुए भी और वो भी सिंगल अर्निंग करते हुए।
Best video ever ! best to leave seperately from inlaws for own good. Dil has to be strong enough to fight for your rights . Men always want best if both the world's without suffering on health and career .Girl and her parents will always suffer in such marriages .Be smart and sensible to reject the proposals from such men in the beginning 😃👌❤️
I have watched most of your vedios. They are really eyeopeners. Your studies are deep rooted ,comments are hard-hitting and suggestions are out of box. I wish that your vedios are seen,implemented and appreciated by everyone in their own interest .
I have also used the sukh of staying with my parents even after marriage. Within a year I realized my foolishness, that I should have realized in one month. My parents never asked me or even my wife to do anything at home so I never did anything. Finally my mother had to push me to live separately so that I grow up. My parents were fine with us staying separately even before our marriage but I was stubborn to stay together. I'm glad my parents and my wife took care of my marriage and helped me grow up to be a better man. Left to me, I'd have messed up all my relationships and also be surprised ki ye sab kaise ho gayaa.
Sir India me mushkil h saans bahu ko chai bana kar de,agar bahu hungry h n khana kha lena once in while to fir ghar me sabke mooh ban jate hai.Jab wo saans banti h to retirement le leti h, chahe bahu working ho ya non working.. Bana banaya lene me bhi bura lag jata h in-laws ko....ki khana lekar khana pad gaya ..bahu ne paap karwa diya.. secondly if couples r working , to ghar me rehkar gate kholna maid keliye wo bhi kaam h .
Bilkul sahi Kaha aapne I m working Kids were taken by my parents. But in law treat me like a servant door open Karo sab chije hath mein do tabh bhi khush nahi hote. Apni beti ek glass pani de de arre woh to humari bahut care karti apna ghar jhod kar humare yaha aakar baithi hai 10years se. Husband bhi unhi ka favor karte hai
@ninanani4085hmari youngest sister ko bni bnayi chay milti h ar khana bhi prosati h mammy nasta bhi ready hota h . bhai se jyda usk nakhre hote h .but bt jb meri aati h wo ek cup chay bhi nikal k nhi deti h bhale bnaya maine ho. N wo hme hmare psand k chize bnane deti h
Its very important that the husband understands this part than in-laws ..They try to manage both and actually its a wrong attempt itself.Couples often suffer staying with in-laws..
It is always better to live in neighborhood. Not in same house. Both wife's and husband's parents should be taken care. But both in near by house. And no one should discuss or criticize unnecessary issues.
A good video Sir. Pls also make a case study wherein working bahu also helps in household chores yet she is targeted all the time coz all working bahus are nor parasites o n their in- laws. Even we understand situations and try to balance both house and office work. The life in Mumbai is already hectic and despite giving the best, it's the bahu who is targeted especially by mother- in law
you have hit the nail on the head. i have always felt that young people should get married only when they are willing to financially support themselves independently from parents.
Indian families have evolved a long way from what is being portrayed........ today we see a lot of co-operation and co-ordination between family members in Indian families......these Hum Log series times have gone long back......
Humari saas to churi, bindi, palla se upar nehi uth pati hai. Unke liye ek bahu ka kaam sirf churi, bindi lagage bahu k tarha dikhna or koi v person jo riste me bade hai unke entry and exit me pair choona hai taki wo apne baki ristedaro ko dikha sakhe ki bahu kitni gharelu hai. Aise log baaki baatein kabhi samajh hi nehi sakte.
Indian boys should marry only if they are capable to lead an indepedent life. My daughter is married to Marathi boy and he left her in my house after producing a child because my doninlaw never wanted to stay separately. I am retired without pension.
Sir apne idea acha dia he..but asal jindagi me apply ho nahi skta.. Agr bahu initiate kre alag rehne ka to sare gaav me dhindora pita jata he k bahu ghar todne ayi he Or saas to apne bete se alag hona nahi chahti kuki alag rahenge to control kese krenge fir I would really request you to make video for implementation of such ideas as well.. agar beta bahu ek hi colony ya apt me dusra flat le k rahe to ye bat kabbi bhi sas sasur ko nahi pachegi kuki padosi rishtedar sb jagah naak kat jaegi unki. Inlaws are ok if we stay in some other city..but they are not ok if we stay in nearby society kuki aas paas me to sabhi k samne unki beijjati hogi k beta bahu dekho alag hogye inhone kuch kia hoga
Thodi bezzati sehni pdegi aap confident rho. Aap unhe dusre reason dedo jisse vo satisfied ho jaye jese ki bcho ki pdhayi k liye hm door reh rhe h, pti ki job door h tb or thoda confident hokr light way mai bolo ki shadi to pti k sath rehne k liye hi ki h to vhi rhenge na or hmare saas sasur itne backward nhi h vo smjhte h. Aapko thoda reverse psychology krna pdega ese logon k sath. Kuchh states mai ye zyada hi h. Hmare yhan pr log bolte h pr itna nhi to bs ldke pr depend h.
Thanks a lot for bringing such discussions, being a newly married, we should agree that its always better to stay a little away from either of the parents..
Excellent thoughts shared....much needed for the young generation Who face the age old traditional practices........you touched very practical aspects of marriage. Thanks.
Baat to theek hai, but there’s always a flip side. Kuch log yeh dekhne ke baad “ baghbaan” chalu kar denge. I have seen parents over dominating or overpowering their beta bahu for staying in their house & hurt thm with showing ehsaan and sacrcasm.
Iske upar sir ne kaafi videos banayi hain, conclusion bata deta hun : if parents are toxic and kaafi kalesh hai, live separately, rent or buy, baaki nearby location pe ghar lena, ye easy nhi hoga obviously but this is the best......
Hello sir, suddenly some video of yours popped on my screen 15 things to be taught to children...then obviously I liked your video and started scrolling other videos too. This was the 2nd video, any others will follow seeing them. But seeing these types of videos from you is so good to see, I can resonate these things as it happened with me, starting me bahut din tak I cribbed about all these but I couldn't resist or change any thing, but it used to affect me mentally but no change still. Then I stopped cribbing as now I am out of country. But thik hai Jo bhi hua mere sath but aaj apke videos dekh Kar inspiration mil rahi atleast ye ki me galat nai soch rahi thi
And also never talk to each other in those countries it is mutual and understood and sometimes parents even help them in some way whatever possible to get a house if required initially both hus/wife are working mostly but in India it is different you have to still follow some traditional norms and if staying away it is due to toxicity mostly not mutual and sometimes such that is son/wife managed to earn good then they might just not think of ever visiting the parents due to past toxicity in such a scenario I was thinking logically if parents and children relationship is coming to a stage where it could result in a fight then do not understand the logic behind having kids and even pressurizing still the new gen to have grand kids in that case new DINK trend is better to at least avoid continuing disputes for next generation at least current new hus/wife will live their life peacefully till whatever age they live and hopefully they expire before their children have to take care of them in that way there will be no fights and hence peaceful existence
I am a working women.breakfast n dinner my responsibility. I am paying to maid for taking care of my daughter n for house cleaning n dish cleaning. n many more expenses I am taking care of.but still my mother-in-law always say bad about me in front of their relative.even I take care her also.
In same boat...Tkng care f maid,cook,nanny expense,when mil arrives gv everything in hand,do all her shopping,always gv gifts but ek word nhi appreciation ka.
Aapki baate sahi h.. mere case me .. kuch alag bhi h.. please reply.. I'm gov job holder bahu.. after marriage in -laws forced me to transfer in their place.. as they'll pamper my child.. now i got transfer in their rural areas.. n now I hv 2 Lil kids.. both of them carry with me on my place too everyday.. no help in this combined family (kunwa of 40 person) mil always saying.. humne kisi ke bacche nhi pale. .. humse kuch nhi hoga..
Really, sir, you nailed it and I am happy that this is something someone is talking about, if we do not understand that then there will be disaster in society.
I agree with your analysis. I think this is a socio economic problem. Indian middle class unfortunately lead a very stifled life because they think too much of what others will say. The rich class and poor class ( which by the way are not really poor ) do not care much about these things. I think the need of the hour is to think independently and youngsters need to follow their heart and do what they love.
M also a working woman and my life has become hell.. husband wants food made by me only.. and in laws take all the time with my husband . I dnt even get 5 min with him..have a small child to take care of... Parents don't even understand what their children are going through.. they are so possessive and selfish
Thank you for sharing information. This was very useful. I think all parties should sit together and discuss their problems. Children if living with their parents should contribute financially towards food and bills, and should not abuse parents unless it has already been decided by parents that their children don't need to do it and instead they can save money for their house.
Great advice. But what if parents have left their own home and living in their kids home to look after their grandchildren because beta Bahu are both working. How will the dynamics play then..
@@abhijeetpanchal9301 if girls are expecting not to live with in laws then dont live with girl's parents i mean ur in laws.. both of you should stay separately from both side of the parent.. u take care of ur parents till their end and let the girl take care of her parents till their end.. simple..
Need a video on envy encountered by one's friends, relatives on sharing international travel photos social media , flexing your lifestyle on instagram should one do it or not ? Also, envy arising from career advancement even after doing the above Much needed topic when the youth spends avg 4 hrs daily on social media
You are great person doing great work in society. But I feel you are lucky that your client took that advice positively. Are you sure they have implemented your suggestions?
