Writing Letters To Santa!!! 

This is exactly how my daughter was. A nurse finally pulled me aside and said you need to stay here non stop for 24 to 48 hours and be here all the times the Dr comes by. I even told the Dr she eats fine when I'm here because I have more time to sit and do things at her pace which I know the nurses sometimes can't. She came home right after that. Nurses are amazing and awesome but sometimes they just need mom and dad full time.

Someone I work with was just telling this story. His baby was in the NICU over feeding as well for many weeks. He started noticing that the baby was feeding way better with family than the nurses/doctors and he actually started charting it in excel and recording all the info about who did the feeding and how it went, proved out that family is better and presented that information to the doctors and they released his baby to home.

7:00 Colleen really needed that hug, the way she melted into it just warmed my heart

I cannot wait for Maisy to come home and Flynn to immediately say “ANOTHER ONE?!” 😂💖

I think Maisy likes getting her bottle with love. I am sure she can tell how much she is loved by you and Erik so she is comfortable and can do the bottle.

Let’s go Maisy! 5 bottles in a row 💪🏼 what a champ! Maybe she wants mom/dad to be there with her non-stop and give her ALL bottles! She’s a girl who knows what she wants 👍🏼

Honestly, all I want for Christmas is for Colleen to have her whole family together at home. Come on, Maisy Jo! You can do it little ladybug!

okay so i’m sure we all know colleen and erik are terrific parents- they most definitely deserve some kind of award… but, can we also just take a second to appreciate & commend colleens mom for being a huge help all around?! she’s there for colleen, flynn, wesley, and i’m sure erik as well, anytime they need her. no wonder colleen turned out to be such an amazing person, she leads by example from her parents 🤍

I agree with the comments, it sounds like Maisy does amazing with her bottles when you/erik feed her because she likes getting her bottles with the warmth of her parents! I think she takes time to fully trust people because I remember you saying that she’s always alert and curious when you pick her up and takes/took a little time to adjust. You could test this theory out and hopefully see results, praying for you and your family to be able to be together soon ❤️

“This is not funny to mama, this is TrAuMaTiZiNg.” The way you said that was so funny, love you Colleen ❤️

"I'm disappointed...NOT in Maisy...but in my fantasy..." Colleen, THANK YOU for being so specific about this.

You should give the nurses a recording of you singing Maisy’s feeding song so that she feels comfortable enough to finish her bottles even when you’re not around

I know it’s difficult, especially with one newborn and a toddler at home, but like so many others have pointed out, this may very well take you and Erik never leaving the hospital for those 24-48 hours. It seems that there is a definite pattern to her eating and it’s mom and dad! I would take turns switching back and forth and I would not let them feed her though that tube unless neither one of you can get her to eat! She can do it!!

PATTERN! She only eats for you and your family, she doesn’t know the doctors properly so she doesn’t trust them. She loves you and she wants you and Eric to be the ones to feed her because she trusts her🥰

Flynn saying "That's enough" after giving you his list for Santa made my heart smile. Can't wait to hear you camped out at the hospital and got that baby girl home!! Great work mom, dad, big brothers, and everyone else on team twins!

Me and my mom watch you’re vlogs every night. My mom gets so emotional over you’re journey with the twins. My mom had me and my twin sister about 5 weeks early. It was hard on her and she got through it. So proud of you Colleen. Merry Christmas from my Mom and Me (Ally) 🎄❤️

Flynn saying “that’s enough” when u read him his letter to Santa was so precious. He is so fabulous and I can’t wait to see the personalities of the twins develop. I can can tell Flynn is really keeping you going through all of this with that big hug. Love u so much Colleen and I’m sending all of my prayers your way to have maisey home for Christmas !

It sounds like she does way better with feeds with mom and dad. Maybe you guys could work out a 48 hrs where one of you is always there to get her to take all her feeds? Just an idea!

As a nurse it’s disappointing to me to here other nurses say “why is she back again?” when they asked you to come more for the twins entire feeding schedule a few weeks ago… I didn’t hear the tone so I’m not sure if they meant it rudely but I know nurses can be a little harsh and judgey sometimes… just know you should be there as much as you want for your baby and you’re being an awesome momma! They’ll get over it if they think it’s too much! You’re helping your baby girl progress!

I agree with the notion that your daughter is a sensitive soul. Maisy needs the love and warm of her parents when she feeds. She’s smart enough to know when it’s someone’s job to feed her and when it’s someone’s love and devotion that’s feeding her. When your family is all together under one roof no matter how difficult things may seem, your home will blanket you all with, love, health and happiness. There’s no place like home for this beautiful family! 🥰💖🎄🎅🏼👍

Like everyone else in the comments has noticed, Maisy wants those bottles from you or Erik! It seems so difficult, but there is definitely a pattern there. Take a deep breath, she will be home before you know it 🥰

I feel that she’s finishing bottles with you guys because she comfortable with y’all. She doesn’t finish the rest of her bottles because she knows you guys aren’t feeding them to her. Just from bits and pieces I’ve put together. I hope you guys the best

2 steps forward, 1 step back is still 1 step forward Colleen! Maisy has got this! So have you and Erik, you super parents. Super proud of all of the progress you have all made. Sending so much love and strength ❤

Colleen, it sounds like she wants bottles from her mama!!! Is it possible to have Erik do bottles for Wesley so you can stay in the NICU for 24hrs and feed Miss Maisy her bottles so she can come home? We are all rooting for you both!

7:03 That moment makes me feel things. Colleen’s expression is priceless and so beautiful in showing how much she genuinely enjoyed Flynn’s hug.

watching colleen sink into flynn’s hug during advent was the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen. you can so tell she just needed that from him ❤️❤️

It's so impressive that Flynn knows every vehicle that comes out of his elephant calendar. Sooo adorable

"theres so much sunshine headed my way soon" meanwhile flynn has been singing that all week. Thats so cute it subconsciously has reassured her. Youre family will be together soon mama, Maisy is trying so hard xx

Colleen, this sounds like a pattern. And I don't mean for this to sound harsh in any way because I know you are doing everything you possibly can and so is Erik but it sounds like you may need to camp out at the hospital for 24-48h to get her through those full bottles to finally get her home. I know you're tired mama but this is the final home stretch you can do it to bring her home ❤

Tortilla talk question: how is Flynn adjusting to Wesley being home? Seems like he’s doing awesome 😄

Colleen and Flynn’s cuddle moment was so stinkin cute, I can’t get over it. Sending you guys all the love and strength and prayers ❤️❤️

On the bright-ish side of things, I remember when you were pregnant being scared of not bonding with your babies since they would be in the NICU. While we ALL wish Maisy would eat with anyone, it does show that she’s bonded with you and Erik. Love you guys and sending best wishes that she’s home soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I’m gonna have to agree with everyone else here in the comments, Maisy likes her feeds from you and Erik. Would they allow either of you to be there for a 24 hour period to do all of her feeds?

Oh my goodness this takes me back to my time in the NICU. I would feel such anger after my baby ate for me the entire day then the night nurses would say sorry he didn’t eat any bottles. I would think the night nurses were being lazy and not trying. Haha. It was all in my head of course but I remember the anger and frustration I felt. Then I stayed at the NICU for 14 hours straight and he took every bottle. I really think he just needed me to be there, to hear my voice. None the less, it is just a memory now as it will be for you momma. Stay strong. ❤️

Tortilla talk question: as a medical resident in the Netherlands, I'm really curious what can nurses or doctors do to make the whole situation just a bit more bearable? And what are things that didn't help you at all or made the whole thing even worse?

Colleen, I am a nurse practitioner in a NICU and I just wanted to say that you are doing amazing. My daughter was a NICU baby and she struggled for a long time to figure out how to latch and stay latched. I know this feels like a step backwards, but she is closer and closer to figuring it out. Please listen to the nurses, I know you want to be with Maisey as much as possible, but if the nurses are telling you to go home and rest, they are saying it for a reason💜 We know she is your baby and your heart, but we need Mom to be rested and healthy. I didn't fully understand how intense the mom guilt is, until I suddenly became a NICU mom last year. Every minute I was home, even though I knew I needed to shower, eat and sleep, I felt like I was failing at motherhood. I was reminded of years ago, we had triplets in the NICU. Two of the babies went home within days of each other, after about 6 weeks but baby C stayed for another month. Their mom had two newborn's at home, but was coming back and forth to the NICU as much as she could. She thought if she could be at every feeding, that baby C would come home sooner. We tried to tell her that we had it covered, that she needed to focus on the two babies at home too, and take care of herself. We would have to tell her to go home sometimes, and one day as she was walking to the elevator, she passed out. Driving back and forth, having two newborn's at home and not taking care of herself, her body was exhausted. Had she not stopped to chat with another NICU mom, she could of passed out while driving. Please remember to take care of you. You are a supermom, there is no higher compliment than having nurses tell you to go home and rest, it means you are at the NICU so much, that we are worried that you aren't taking any time for YOU. Please remember that these babies need their Momma to be ok, so that they are ok. It's ok to take time to rest, your Maisey is in great hands when you aren't there.

i cant wait to watch wesley and maisy grow up and see their cute personalities like flynn’s 🥺

Follow those instincts Colleen. You know what Maisy and all your babies need everyone has advice which can be helpful but ultimately you know best for your babies :)

"this is not funny to mama, maisy. this is traumatizing" LOVE YOU COLLEEN UR A QUEEN

your mom... She is a saint!!! How she has been with all the Ballingerkids. Shout Out to GWEN!

"Is this funny to you? It's not for mommy it's traumatizing" - as a trauma survivor, that made me laugh more than it ought to. Sometimes that's the best thing to do to cope; laugh. I'm sure Maisy will be home soon, based off what you've shared it seems like she prefers feedings with you and Eric! I'm praying she'll be home for Christmas for you 🙏 ❤ Edit: spelling error

Seems like other people see the same pattern here... not sure if you folks are able to stay over night but it may do the trick. Sending so much love and good vibes to you!

Everyone is seeing the connection, maisy girl wants her bottles from mom and dad🥺❤️keep up the good work mom, she’s coming home soon, you got this!!!

Flynn's energy is everything I swear, he's such a joyful little king

"say cheese, guys!" HE IS SO CUTE. I definitely want to see those photos

Maisy is adorable. She definitely knows how to do the eating thing, and her repertoire of baby skills is growing. She will be home soon, and you will have a wonderful 2022 together with Erik and all your babies!

I cannot get over how adorable Flynn is. He gets more adorable every vlog, he is especially adorable holding Wesly.

It seems like she likes when her mom or dad feeds her. So cute!

It sounds like she only wants to eat full bottles for her PARENTS!!? She only wants her mommy and daddy to be feeding her it seems awww HUGS!!

** PLEASE SAY HELLO TO TRENT!** It's nice to see a peek of him in your last few videos. I know he prefers to stay out of the limelight, but it's nice to see him included in the family love fest! Hope he is doing well and enjoying the chaos.😉

I know how hard this is and my heart aches seeing how this has affected you. You are so strong. You are doing great mama. You and eric have done a great job with all of this. You two are great parents. My parents never cried about me the way you cry for your babies. Your kids are very lucky. I love you.

I know we all can’t wait for the whole family to be together, but one thing that stood out to me in this vlog is Flynn trying to write with his left hand! As a fellow lefty, it just stood out to me. 🤣 But really, I can’t wait for Miss Maisy to be home with her amazing parents and brothers.

I feel like it always helps to think about where she started. She's eating so much better and can breathe on her own now. I know it's a long and hard road but she's learned so much already! Love you Colleen from Switzerland

Flynn taking selfies when he thinks he is taking pictures of the family is the absolute cutest thing on earth and exactly what I needed to see to get my mind off my exam today!

flynn taking pictures with the disposable camera is the cutest thing ever 😭🤍 his little "say cheese guys"

I work NICU and this is how they start doing better. First 1 bottle,then five, then 2-3, then they start soaring!!! Love you! Maisy will be home soon 💓

Hey mama, I am also a NICU mama my son is now 5 but he was born at 34 weeks and the only thing we had to wait on was him to be able to learn to eat and finish all his bottles as well. Watching your videos it's like I'm reliving exactly what we went through. The first thing I want to say is the NICU nurses are great BUT sometimes they don't try as hard as us parents do. I think they mean well but they are busy and so often times they would try to feed our baby for 5 or 10 mins and if he wasn't willing they wouldn't try any tricks or tips they would just give up and give it to him through the feeding tube. Where me and my husband had a fire under our butts to get out of there and really pushed it more and it really seemed like our baby KNEW that we meant business and knew when it was us feeding him vs. when it was a stranger and he thrived with us but was horrible with them. Even though they are little they still know their mama and dada and feel more comfortable and have that bond so it's not surprising that maisy thrives with you and your husband but then won't take the bottle for the nurses. She just knows her mama and dada and can feel how much you want it vs. someone that is feeding her and isn't really trying. The only way we got our son out of the NICU was my husband lived at the NICU I would be there during the day but we had other kids at home so I would come home in the evening and stay the night with our kids and my husband stayed at the NICU and did EVERY feed and it was because he was there doing the feeds that we where able to get him to finish all his bottles and go home. I know that may seem to be impossible for one of you to be there all the time right now so my heart breaks for you but if you can for 48 hours switch off so one of you is there around the clock to do all the feedings then she could be home and it could be over. I know it's horrible being apart but being apart for 2 days might be better then another week or so in the NICU. I just wanted to give you that little piece of advice that the reason she is finishing her bottles with you and your husband is because your her people and she can feel the love and bond and so she thrives with you.

Sending so much love your way Colleen! You got this, you're almost there!

I really like what you said about there being "so much sunshine" coming your way. Because of my chronic illness/disability, I sometimes get bogged down in the day-to-day of setbacks and disappointments and longing. And to be clear, I think this is normal and appropriate. Anyone whose energies and emotions are 100% occupied by demanding life circumstances is going to feel overwhelmed and I believe it's important to validate those negative feelings because they're just part of the package. But I appreciate the reminder to make some space for sunshine in the future. I'm so used to preparing for disappointment that I sometimes forget to prepare myself to receive the sunshine. It's just a small shift in perspective and it doesn't really change the reality of my daily life, but coming up for air every once in a while and allowing myself to imagine joy in my future can make such a difference in my mental state. Thank you for reminding me of the sunshine to come and may yours arrive swiftly

"There's so much sunshine headed my way so soon" I love you colleen. I needed to hear this. From one twin nicu mama to another, and I know all these other people commented this too, but she wants her bottles for mama or daddy. As parents we sit and talk with them and love on them, encourage them and are patient with them. Nurses a lot of times have several other babies to take care of and don't always have the time to really sit and work with the baby, so they tube feed the rest. I've seen it with my twins when they were in the nicu. Especially when they were both there. Maybe if you guys can keep going for every feed or try to stay all day, she will do better raking them all from you guys. You are an amazing momma and yall do have so much sunshine headed your way. I think about it like this. With me, nothing about learning a new routine with newborn twins and my other kids at home too, sleepless nights... none of it seemed as hard as just being separated from them. Finally having both my babies home brought me so much happiness and I was just so grateful they were home I didn't care how difficult all the adjusting felt. Bc that didn't even compare to the pain and difficulties of them still being in the hospital away from me. Keep your head up mama, you're in the final stretch and I really think she will be home very soon!!

Colleen is so resilient and i'm so inspired by how strong she is and how good she is at communicating her feelings. I really think she is a wonderful role model and a brilliant mum.

Every time Flynn says the cat food is “fire sauce” it reminds me of when Duncan always said the jam would be “strawberry wild strawberry” every day haha

Wesley’s taco outfit is the same outfit I brought my baby home in two months ago! It’s so cute!! I love how sweet Flynn is as a big brother. He’s going to teach them so much and you can see how much he loves Wesley already. Seeing your other video today I so so hope that Maisy made some good steps to coming home soon. Hopefully Christmas comes early for you guys! ❤️

Seems like she wants her mama and daddy to be the one who feeds her. More love coming from you guys and she can sense it! ❤️

Maisy Jo is the perfect little princess and is so strong, she will catch on and be home very soon. I know from experience being a former NICU mom it sucks and it is so hard, especially on the last few weeks before coming home, y’all are all in my prayers 🥰💙💜💚

Maisy is getting there! Five bottles in a row are a lot, she's a champion! You'll have all your babies together soon, Colleen, these are the last struggles, but your family and you have been amazing superheroes during this hard time. Sending love and hope ❤

The moment at 7:00 made me tear up a lil, Colleen is such a good mummy; I hope one day when I have children I can be their absolute comfort like Colleen is for her kids

Flynn is the cutest sweetest boy ever. He’s so cute rockin the headbands all the time! ❤️ Praying all of your babies will be home soon together! 🙏🏻

I'm surprised the nurses world say that after asking you to be there as much as possible. Good luck colleen, lots of love.

They for sure go at their own pace. I remember being so sad with my little one and being so impatient when she was in the nicu. I know how hard it is with the ups and downs. I’m so sorry she will be home soon and you guys will be complete. I 100% agree that fog sucks but does lift when you get them home. You both are doing amazing❤️.

i feel like i’ve never heard colleen say i love you and when she said it to flynn it made me so happy i kept rewatching it.

Colleen's mother seems like such a wonderful mom/grandma. I love seeing her in vlogs because she just radiates so much love ❤.

I love how she smiles every single time you’re with her.

My preemie was exactly the same. I finally had our nurse tell me... You need to stay here 24 hours and do all the feedings. After I did that he finally got it all and we were realeased. I truly believe if I hadn't stayed 24hours it wouldn't have worked. It was so hard because we had 4 kids at home. And we were in the NICU for 63 days. Maybe you need a good 24 hour stint with her

I love love how you have conversations with all 3 kiddos or you sing to them and hug n kiss all of them showing them each love...its so heart warming 🙏❤️ Your a GREAT GREAT MAMA!

That hug at 7:03 😭 I really felt how meaningful and loving that was ❤ He knew you needed that!

I’ve noticed Maisy has eaten from bottles with you and Erik mostly. Maybe it’s just that she wants to be fed by one of you? Sending love you’re so strong💜💜

Are you allowed to stay the night (I know it’s hard with Flynn and Wes) because I think you’ll get her home sooner if you can feed her through the night maybe the nurses just don’t have time/patience and she needs one of you and she’s eating great for you two! That should be recognised! Sending love x

What the nurse told you is exactly something I would need to hear to go home too😂 Also you looked stunning at the end clip with your blue hoodie and the way your hair was.❤️❤️

The hug between Colleen and Flynn is the sweetest ❤️ you can definitely tell Colleen needed that hug ❤️

For the next couple days, I feel like if you/Erik do ALL the feedings for 48 hours, I think Maisy might surprise you!

Little Maisy will be home sooner than you expect 💕 she is very strong just like you ❤️❤️ I'm so glad she'll be home with you for Christmas!

I know Maisy’s gonna pop soon!! 🍿 amazing that she has such a bond with you and Erik and wants feed from a bottle with you both 🥰

Colleen, I can't even imagine what you are going through. Keep your head held high and celebrate the small wins. The big ones will come soon! You are so strong and are doing amazing. I'm praying for you that it will get easier and that she will be home soon. Luv you

i was a nicu baby and even thought i obviously don’t remember my time there, i grew up hearing about it and it just made me appreciate my family and what they did for me so much more. my mom nearly watched me die and hearing that story just makes me think of how strong she is.

It seems that Maisy only likes to do what she should from mom and dad, not the doctors. Is it too much to have you and Eric be there for 48 hours, one at a time. To make it happen? So she always has one of you with her at all times

Sending so much love to you and your family!! She will be home soon and this will all be a distant memory. You and Erik are doing a great job! You got this!! This part took the longest for my 28 weeker. It was sooo hard and there are so many ups and downs but you all are riding the waves like a pro ❤️ I agree with what others have said, the feeding tube is faster and the nurses don’t have as much time and patience as the parents do. It sounds like she has the skills and stamina to finish her feedings by mouth and she’ll be home so soon. I will be crying happy tears for you when that day comes and you finally have all of your babies home with you!

Erik is the best dad, the way him and Flynn are the best of buds🥺, so fricking cute.

I think Maisy just feels safest and most comfortable when eating with her momma and daddy. She’ll be home soon, I’m sure of it. ❤️

It seems that from what you’ve been saying, she’s only eating full bottles from you and Eric. Maybe, it’s because she trusts you guys the most! I hope that maybe sometime you guys can plan a time to have your mom take Flynn and Wesley and watch them for a while and you guys can take turns being at the hospital constantly for 48 hours?

I love that Maisy is already making you guys laugh and smile so much. Little moments like that show how much of a light she is in this darkness. You guys will get through this together. Endless smiles are ahead! Sending you guys all the love!

So proud of you! You've come a long way. Every day is one-step closer to her coming home ❤ Thanks for sharing your journey.

Same thing happened with my son he took full bottles with me and day nurse then that night they gavaged his feeds. I was so mad I made a scene mainly b/c I was emotional. Ironically a day later his tube was out and he was ready to be discharged 24 hrs later. Prayers she comes home this week for you guys!

See if you can stay for the full 24 hours with her for the feeds. I think she is trying to tell you something ;) Are the nurses using the scented pads with her and are they keeping the pads near her for the feeds? Can you also make a recording for them to play of you singing her song over and over during the feeding or teach them the song? Haha

i love Flynn’s personality!!! He’s such a cutie and such a good big brother🤍

Yay! I’m so happy for you all! I can’t wait to see these babies grow up with such an amazing mom and dad and big brother!!❤️❤️

Tortilla talk question: What is Miranda going to name the twins since she named Flynn Pinto bean?

Colleen, It does not matter what the nurses think as NICU mom myself, I recommend you go to EVERY SINGLE FEED.... Sadly we found that the nurses were just lazy at our nicu, didn't want to feed my baby in the night so they put the tube back in and put up the feed and went on their way... I stayed there for 48 hours ( I left to go sleep and shower when my son slept ) but food time I was back and in charge. He came home 24 hours later. Go be with Maizy and feed her and tag team with Erik. but BE at every feed...... I love you and this will be over soon but listen to your mamma instinct and do what you need to to get your baby home!!! Doing a good job mamma, we love you!

Colleen you are so brave and strong. Love watching you and your family.

Isn’t it amazing that even though you are intensely struggling, for such VALID and understandable reasons, you have thousands of people supporting you and cheering this beautiful little family on? I listen to you everyday, Colleen, because you are so real and refreshing. But tonight was the first time in a long time I looked at the comment section you always talk about. I started crying! Man you are loved, and you should be. I’ll echo everyone else… you got this, so does your little warrior girl.