I am done understanding, reframing, informing and " tooling" about trauma, for me the worst enemy is my own brain that almost wants to annihilate myself. CPTSD. Is insane. And in no shape of form fair. And let me not even start with the pseudo spiritually that said that " ultimately we choose our experiences" including maybe me " choosing such a detrimental brain" experience.

Nutrition is my biggest physical challenge, especially at the end of the day. Having said that I'm probably healthier now then I have ever been. The other big one lately is wondering if love is worth trying to find. There seems to be so many rules, do's, don'ts and expectations with dating and relationships that they seem impossibly complicated.

Jesus Heals ❤️🙌🏾

Hi Peggy. I feel that I neglect my self by not getting my hair done and then I get upset about it.

I’d love to hear what came up for you as you listened. Did something(s) immediately come to mind? Helpful Resources courageousjourneys.com/cjlinks

one thing we need to do is not make another bullshit videon on how much a victim u are... kjesus christ literaly no one fucking asked

Thank you for speaking up about this, it’s really important. I was wondering how one might go about managing physical medical examinations after experiencing past childhood trauma? I have developed a bladder problem and need tests and an examination but I can’t face my ptsd being triggered. I don’t want to ree traumatise myself by forcing myself through gyno exams etc, but at the Same time I need to get help for my bladder continence issue . My body physically tenses up and then shuts down when I’m triggered. Im having so much anxiety over this, not knowing what to do, I feel embarrassed and ashamed and don’t want to waste the drs time by not being able to have the tests. Any advice would be amazing, thank you 🙏.

Get over it and GROW TF UP!! Crap like THIS is exactly why people are so damned WEAK now!! Our ancestors dealt with hardships exponentially worse and they BUILT this country while sniveling Reality show crybabies destroy it!!

So true. This is just the helpful message I needed to hear today.

Tack!

I tell my patients we're gonna work together for 3 to 6 months, in the last month we plan for the final session. However they can come back on a monthly basis for any maintenance therapy

Thank you for bringing this important topic on as can be helpful when getting help from professionals as they understand what’s needed and can be used during treatments 🙏🦋😇🌈❤️😘

Saved, watch again later..

You are something else! A perfect day , a perfectly timed video! I feel like balling. I wont admit I may have balled a bit. (59 yr old male) How much do I owe you for session? Perfect description. Deep appreciation❤ I vote for you as queen mother of the world.

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OhmygoodnessYes! It sounds like I had a similar experience in going to a school where the majority of students came from different backgrounds and income brackets than my own. I think I spent the majority of that time in a state of derealization for a myriad of reasons. It has taken me many years to get to the point that I can kinda/sorta talk about my early life experiences and I feel like my school environment compounded my tendency to avoid. Unfortunately, I suspect that this is an area that I will need to contend with because my inclination is to immediately flinch away in discomfort, which tells me I’m still avoiding. I’m also still trying to figure out how to articulate/verbalize my feelings around that piece of my experience (in addition to all the other pieces).

Hi Peggy! I’m truly appreciating your videos this week! In this one you mention that acknowledging disappointment helps to process the emotion of disappointment, but what if the disappointment is perceived as confirmation of a core belief and acknowledging the disappointment also feels like acknowledging the accuracy of the core belief and the defense mechanism sounds like the healthier option even though it feels like an untruth (e.g., “I’m really bummed they didn’t acknowledge my birthday, I must not matter to them” vs “they listened to what I said and honored it”). I may have lost my question in there… Essentially, if the defense mechanism is in place to prevent triggering the emotions that would accompany the perceived verification of the core belief, how does one honor their experience of disappointment without feeding into a core belief?

Hi again! While I can’t say I noticed any defensiveness coming up while listening to this video, I did find myself wondering about the continuation of your analogy. Depending on the breed and the temperament, dogs can be incredibly loyal to “their person.” While they may be less anxious around other people, the trust that is established doesn’t necessarily extend to others. How is the ability to feel safe and to trust one person transferred to other relationships?

True. Also, not all trauma comes from adults. Some comes from children abusing children. Although, typically the abusive child was abused first.

Hi Peggy. This is helpful. Thank You

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A wonderful video and very well explained. I agree neglect is not spoken to enough in general and often in the therapy room as well. One of my many challenges on my personal healing journey was not having an idea of my own needs. I had to have a therapist explain what a need might look like at the beginning of my healing. Feels dumb now but is often the experience of those who have experienced neglect. It has taken me a very long time to understand my needs to include my need to be safely attached. Your video is very profound and has really hit me in my heart. To my surprise, I burst into tears watching your video. I no longer deny physical and emotional neglect in my childhood. However, I do acknowledge that I've made a lot of excuses as to the why there was neglect in my childhood which has been unhelpful. Thanks for your video!😊❤️

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Thank you Peggy Oliveira

Hi Peggy, I was feeling a bit down when I stumbled across your videos. I watched a handful of them and your words (and voice, tbh) were a bit of a balm and incredibly validating. I particularly appreciated your video on feeling worse before feeling better. Thank you for having the courage to put yourself out here! ❤

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❤️ Thank you for sharing your experience in this journey. I love when you speak your resilience and strength helping us all to be grounded where we are here and now.

Hi Peggy. Congrats. Figured you would get to the next level of your ancestry journey. Have been researching my family ancestry for 20 years now, and found a DNA match sister…who, like you, was raised by a father that wasn’t her biological father. She was shocked to learn that we share the same father. She always looked at her Dad as “Daddy’s Little Angel” (her words:). She expressed bitterness that neither of her parents (both deceased) had told her the truth about her birth origins. She and I talked through the family history and connected the dots of marital affairs between my/our Dad and her mother back in the 1960s. Her curiosity grew as she wanted to meet her biological father…so we arranged a family reunion, so to speak, and she, husband and daughter (who I initially connected with on Ancestry) met at our father’s home in NC. It was as awkward as could be, yet enlightening. He even agreed to a paternity test that day…test came back 99.99999999. Will end by sharing that since that family meeting, my newly discovered sister retained an admitted bitterness even toward our father for not ever demonstrating an interest in her life after hearing the circumstances/details of the affair that brought her into the world. Details weren’t the most heartwarming to include the fact that he named her. Dad’s version of the affair could be made into a Netflix miniseries! Lol. My only friendly suggestion would be to tread lightly on your possible or perhaps anticipated communications with your father, if/when you connect…and you most likely will at some point, especially if you hire a PI to locate him. You have many questions to be answered. Good luck and all the best in your journey. On the bright side, it’s a positive life changing/impacting one for most..has been for me! ❤

Peggy, thanks for explaining this It makes me understand better although I'm teenager when trauma happening

Drop a comment to share your thoughts, reactions, or experiences. 👇🏻 Helpful Resources courageousjourneys.com/cjlinks Returning to Wholeness Journal Course for Healing Childhood Trauma courageousjourneys.com/courses/returningtowholenessjc Get your FREE Letting Go meditation (Guided Meditation) courageousjourneys.com/f/letting-go-meditation

Oh Peggy! I’d been wondering and hoping that you’d been able to find out more information. Thank you for sharing this update. I wish you all the very best for finding a good PI and hopefully making contact with your bio dad soon. Good luck 🩵

Hey Peggy, thank you for sharing this chapter in your life. I remember when you first told us about the story a year and a half ago and I’ve been wondering how you’ve been doing. I wish you the best of luck and finding out more about your biological father. It’s very interesting and very moving all of these discoveries you’re having.

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Peggy. I hope that all goes well for You.

Thanks for sharing and all the best. I hope there's a happy outcome with the knowledge and connection.

Wow! What a journey. I hope that you're successful and get to hear from your biological dad. I had wondered as I viewed your first video how that was progressing for you, but i never liked to ask in case I was crossing a boundary with you. I'm glad that your mom's friend was able to share how she saw you with your dad prior to your parents separating. Good luck with your continued search. I appreciate you sharing with your community❤

My wife of 25 years is the most wonderful and beautiful person that one could ever hope to meet, she would do anything to help anyone for no other reason other than she cares and has a heart of gold- she is a VERY good person... but she HATES herself. She literally hates herself, unlike anything that I've ever seen. She will do ANYTHING to sabotage herself, to punish herself, and to stop herself from having any happiness. I have tried to help her with this, but it wasn't until recently that I learned exactly why that she hates herself the way that she does. She was raped in the past, and it didn't just happen once. The details of the things that have happened to this wonderful woman would make you throw up and not sleep for a month. It is UNIMAGINABLE. It took more than 10 years of marriage for her to even trust me enough to tell me about what had happened to her. But even when she did, it was vague, and she put blame on herself. Recently, after 25 years together, she finally has begun to let out all of the details... she buried it for so long that her brain just couldn't take it anymore- something triggered a memory and she exploded... she can no longer shut out the memories, it was like a flood gate was opened and everything just came pouring out. It hasn't stopped since. I have her in therapy, BUT, I am the only person whom she trusts enough to disclose most of these details to. So, even though it hurts me unlike anything that I ever could have imagined, I listen and I am there for her. I try to help her sort these things out and make sense of them. During all of this, I have discovered exactly why that she hates herself so badly. During one of the rapes, she "squirted" (sorry, I don't know what other word to use) ... and to make this worse, the rapist pointed it out to her and made a huge ordeal out of it. This middle aged man, a monster who literally held down a teenage girl and raped her, even laughed at her struggles to get away, used her body's response to screw with her head. Forgive me for putting this so bluntly, but these were his words "look, you soaked the bed! Don't tell me you didn't want this, you know you've never got it that good"! That sick animal said that to her, and since that moment, she has put ALL of the blame for that trauma on HERSELF. She thinks that because that happened that she somehow had INVITED what he did, and deep down must have desired it. She has so much shame... how do I help her with this????

Your guidance on internalizing moments is truly inspiring. It’s a vital part of healing childhood trauma

Thank you for shedding light on such an important topic! Your insights on self-care and supporting others are incredibly valuable

Thank You For Bringing Such Helpful Videos On To Help Understand What It’s All About And Why It Happens,And What Can Do To Help Making It All Better ❤️🙏Namaste

I could relate to all that happening as i was put threw a great amount of embarrassment,humility,shamefulness,with great amount of exposure treatments left with lasting humility,and shame

Glad to hear you're well now. I have been avoiding the dermatologist for a year now, for something that sounds eerily similar, but I will call tomorrow. I appreciate you and am working my way through all of your trauma videos, journaling, and working this knowledge into my therapy. Thank you!

Was in therapy for more than a decade, and I finally quit a few weeks ago. I have tried everything, and I'm done. Finished. I have to accept that I won't get better and move on with my life. Therapy made me so much worse. I don't think it's helpful to keep dredging up trauma. Know what that does? It keeps you miserable and stuck. Done.

Peggy. I just came across this and found it very helpful this video. Thank You. UK.

I could relate to all your talking about as i could understand what i never had when it was all happening daily but now realizing how necessary it was making matters harder for types of therapy,and treatments having to endure now to making it right which being told needed😇🙏Namaste❤️🧩🦋🌈

Hi Peggy. Please could You give me a little more information on Coping Mechanisms. I just came across Your Video. Thank You.

It feels like your all liers

She has a calming voice.

I’d love for you to share what came up for you. We can keep the collective energy and healing going in the comments. ---- Returning to Wholeness Journal Course for Healing Childhood Trauma courageousjourneys.com/courses/returningtowholenessjc Get your FREE Letting Go meditation (Guided Meditation) courageousjourneys.com/f/letting-go-meditation

Thank you for the lovely practice. I am 'struck' at times by the depth of upset I feel at the level of awful violence that there is all over our world.😢 There are times that no matter how hard I work to care for myself that it can feel difficult to escape the reality of some of the awful horror out there. So, your reminder to take a moment to intentionally regroup and recalibrate is much appreciated today. Although, I do know that all of us on a healing journey do our part in helping to change the global energy for the better, I needed the reminder that I, too, do and can continue to make a difference in so many ways. Accepting this is helping me not to feel so disempowered by life's difficulties and challenges. I appreciated the meditation, which helped me to visually connect to an image of a strong, bright, and beaming sunflower🌻 that brought a much needed glimpse of sunshine and warmth to my ❤ Again, thank you!❤