‘Torn’ Director Max Lowe on the Therapeutic Value of Making a Documentary about Losing a Parent 

I watched Torn and found it to be one of the most touching stories I’ve ever heard. I’m so glad Alex was found and brought back home. Conrad is a great guy, step dads are awesome, I’ve had one for the last 48 years and love him so much, he’s been there for me since I was 3 years old. These boys are lucky he came into their lives.

I saw this whole documentary. It is very well done. It seems apparent that Max, for sure, has much more healing to do, which could never be accomplished without seeking counseling, if he hasn't already, or more counseling, if he has. It was a trauma for him to lose his dad, who wasn't even a "dad" in the true sense of the word. The mother mentions, and the adult kids mention that Alex was a superhero. He was? You mean like Spiderman, Batman and Superman, who are all fictional characters? Alex's top priority was fulfilling his own needs. Alex and his wife waited seven years to have children because Alex didn't want to give up his lifestyle. Alex was his wife's "superhero". She was in awe of him from the day she met him as she stated in the film. If Alex hadn't died, the children would have continued to be raised with a father who wasn't involved in their life. Alex didn't attend school functions - he wasn't even home for Christmas one year as it shows in the film!!! If Conrad had gotten help to rid himself of Survivor's guilt, he might have been able to help the kids truly move on, but between Alex being his wife's eternal superhero and Conrad missing his friend and his survivor's guilt, there was no hope for the kids to actually see Alex in the true light of who he was - an absent father. Max mentions to Anderson Cooper from CNN that he wonders if his father loved mountain climbing more than he loved Max and his siblings. Actions speak louder than words. Alex was emotionally connected to mountain climbing. He wasn't emotionally connected to his wife or children on that level. As his wife mentions in the film Alex would get angry and just "needed" to go do his excursions. The reality is since Alex needed such risky situations to truly fulfill him, there was no way that "home life" could ever compare or even come close to fulfilling him. Why do they all hurt so deeply after 17 years? Their raw pain is as if it just happened yesterday, because as Conrad mentioned in the film, there isn't a day that goes by without him thinking about Alex! OMG! This is like wanting what you can't have on steroids!!!! The mother never could admit to herself that Alex wasn't a good father, or a good husband. All Alex had to do was send her a letter and tell her he loved her, and missed the kids, and that was enough for her to stay in that relationship. The crumbs. Everyone got the crumbs! That is the ONLY thing Alex was capable of giving his family. It's certainly understandable how Conrad and the mother got together, but I TOTALLY understand Max's feelings about that! In the film the mother says that she had three kids and life was going so fast... and although in her mind she justifies welcoming Conrad into her life to be a father for her kids and a companion for herself, there was NO way for Max to have healed enough in three months to have someone replace his father who he still believes will be coming back, for starters, and who he never got enough of when his dad was alive. Of course Max's siblings took to Conrad because they were SO much younger. The difference between 2 years old and four years old, versus Max's age being 10 years old...is huge at those ages. The youngest adult brother has no recollection of his father at all, and yet looks just as distraught in the film as the rest of the family. I can understand if he is reacting to the sadness that the rest of his family feels, but if the mother had gotten the help she needed to understand that not only was Alex not a good husband, but he wasn't a good father either, then she would have raised her kids MUCH differently and they would NOT be grieving like this all of these years later. When Max talks about Alex you can tell that the raw feelings are still right under the surface. He could cry at the drop of a hat. That is so sad. All of them are like that! Yes, Conrad took on the role of raising the children, but he had such POOR JUDGMENT when he went on more risky mountain climbing trips!! WTF!!! What if he then died??!!!!! How could Max EVER trust Conrad after Conrad decided to go on those risky trips??? I think it's possible that Max feels guilty for his feelings...which I see as anger, which is really pain disguised as anger. Since his mother will forever see Alex as her superhero, Max will never get his mother's approval for his rightful feelings about all of this! And until Max realizes that he doesn't need his mother's approval, he won't heal. The person I feel most for is Max. In the film when he asks his mother "why" she got together with Conrad after just three months, or "why" she wanted to be with Conrad - I forget the exact question, but the mother shot back at Max, "WHY?" Her way of showing Max that his question was really a stupid question. Max has all these questions because he's not understanding how he is really the only one that sees things for how they were, but without his mother's support he doesn't really trust his own feelings. I hope Max gets help so he can put all of this in it's rightful place, and live his life in peace.

This is an amazing documentary… I’ve never cried so much before. The love between them and most importantly between Jennifer, Conrad and Alex is just amazing. It’s like they are soulmates to their very core and one way or another they are meant to be together. Very touching and I hope Max all the best.

OMGosh! I cried from start to finish! What a wonderful documentary. It was so beautiful. I’m so glad Alex and David were found. Thank God for Conrad😭 What a beautiful human being is is! And a lovely lovely family❤️

When I saw this for the first time, I cried my eyes out such a good film.

When is this released?

This was good I feel like who better than his best friend that knew his wishes to fill that void that was left when he passed it seems weird but its not its better than mom trying someone different and getting mistreated for example my respects to conrad what a man! That stepped up to the plate to help bring those boys up❤

I don’t know why climbers bother getting married-it’s clear climbing is number one and family is just a place marker in their life.

Why doesn’t he call him dad, his he not the son of Alex?

Alex's deserved a better wife when I hear her saying me and Conrad we fell in love iam like wtf and Conrad taking over Alex's place this makes me sick