I don't know of any to add, but the inability to make choices surprised me. I know it's a unhealthy trait of ADHD, but now I wonder if it's something else as well. You have a wonderful community, so even if I don't get an answer to my comments, I'm sure I'll find an answer to my problem somewhere amongst the others. Thank you for this video. It came when I really needed it. ❤️
Sometimes I m extrovert and very enthusiastic I share my ideas with frndz but a lot of times I just feel unmotivated and don't wanna bother about sharing my thoughts or at times my mind is blank but I m expected to give an input its too bothersome bcz I force myself to say someting that will make sense for others only to save my image. I feel like I m doing a very bad job at being who I m .
When I get super apathetic I know something is wacky, I am naturally a healer soooo self acceptance is huge for me probably I’ll probably continue this path forever smh
The world is so topsy- turvy now that being alone seems to be the only sustainable option to keep sane. I have always enjoyed time for introspection and reflection, but it almost feels like an escape. A way to try to make sense of all the senseless clamor that surrounds everyone and everything these days.
Your video made me think that the INFJ is generally “setup” for success with self-improvement. I say this because we tend to humbly accept our faults, especially initially, and work on them without much fear. That we’re Future-oriented helps this constant life cause. My opinion!
At 67 years of age, I still struggle with fitting in as was the case in childhood, but DO like to socialize. It's hard to find the "right fit" all the time, though. About 20 years ago, I started a low-dose anti-depressant and it has helped me a lot. It's no panacea, but does take the edge off of disappointments and occasional times of feelings of loneliness. I think we are all more complicated than 4 letters for our personality, but this classification has helped me understand why I'm "different".
I'm going to watch this video every morning before work. All of this is me. I need to find my focus again. I can't even express or measure my gratitude for your videos and your time. I've just recently discovered that I'm an INFJ. Understanding why I do the things I do helps me to change my way of thinking and knowing I have support if I need is very comforting. Thank you so very much.
I don't know what to say. I am 76, 3 divorces, I live alone and the last few years I just go to the store once aweek, everything else comes from amazon. My daughter stops by once a week. But yeah i have all the unhealthy signs, beginning to understand things because of your videos. I wish I had someone to really talk to, but no one really cares. I was a disappointment the moment I took my first breath. You help me understand things. Richard
I am so scared, that I will never find people who I can connect with. I cannot trust myself so I don't know if it is a good idea to let go of certain friendships, eventhough I cannot trust them and it feels not right.
I've struggled with all of these things in the past. I'm struggling less now than I used to, but there are still a few big ones that I haven't overcome. I still have a hard time making decisions, especially big ones. I still, very often, overthink things without taking action. I struggle with long lasting romantic relationships and have resigned myself for the most part to being alone and working on my own things.
Oof, I'm unhealthy. I make myself smaller for people and situations. I also grew up incredibly anxious all the time. But its important to stay true to who I am, to attract those who would support me.
True, I honestly don't care, anymore. I used to care, done with that! Only those people I truly love and trust get to see my vulnerable side. I don't friend-up with narcs. Recognizing them and their toxicity is critical. Wow, I do want to be alone all the time... Time to get out of your/my head and into your/my life. Thanks!
After 48 years I finally discovered I am an infj and it couldn’t have came at a better time I finally know what makes my brain tic first reaction was stunned then came the smiles and tears of joy knowing that I can take control of my life if I can survive being an alcoholic for20 plus years(currently 5+ years sober and I manage a kitchen in a bar that is how much will power we have )I I can tackle this journey to and man am I unhealthy right now so what I have learned from my six months of rehab is get another tool box fill it up and go on another journey so now it’s time to build muck love to you all❤
I retired in January this year and now I'm exhausted all the time, I believe its from doing nothing. It helps when I go back to work, sometimes I get a call to go to work cause theres a shortage of people who do my job. Don't know how I'm gonna manage when I'm no longer needed.
The world has made me a nihilistic INFJ and there is nothing anyone can do about it. In my mind, our fate is set and I judge everyone who is responsible; sensors obsessed with ego, power and control. People who put the lives of every person on Earth up as stakes for their juvenile game of hubris. Coaching is great unless you have to come to terms with the end of our species and our own mortality outside of our control. Because a certain leader can’t have their way. You should make a video about that, you know who I’m talking about.
True. Their quick judgemental attitude brings them draw the conclusions which against to be get along. INFJ is amazing but few things to be change as you're suggesting. I appreciate your sage narration at least it will help to some of INJF's to understand that no one is flaw less as we all are Human.
So yeah all but #8 appear right now to fit where I feel I am. So much common sense in what you talk about in several of your video's and ironically I have helped so many people with these same kind of issues while ignoring that all along I was suffering with them and hoping that by fixing theirs I would somehow come out with mine all fixed because I obviously know how to fix the problems... but only in others it seems... time to turn myself into my next project and rediscover the person I have known I always am but have been afraid to be. Thank you for stating the obvious in such a way as to make it visible to those of us who protect ourselves from that very same obviousness. Much love and keep doing what you do, it is helping even if only by inspiring recognition and a desire to pursue change...
You are so right! Why it has to be so hard to just say this is what I want and end of the story! Why do I have to care so much for what others want? Even when what they wanted is for my own deterrent I do it anyway. I have tried to be more focused on myself to be selfish and self centered as the majority of people are but I’m not happy being like that it’s not me I feel the happiest when I can make others happy as well as I’am and share my light and insights with them. But at the same time it’s such a heavy burden. I have tried to change so many times because more times than often I feel and I see how people abuse that kind of kindness, but I go right back to it without even thinking about it.
I’m here for it however it to categorize somebody as “unhealthy or healthy “is a negative autosuggestion instead you should focus on the behavior as opposed to making it so black-and-white. And God knows best
Very insightful and resonant. Thank you. I’m also a coach and find your channel to be a huge support to me as an INFJ even though my clients are all different types of personalities.
I've been healing a lot in the past few years, but something that happened earlier this year has knocked me back further than I thought and it's been a lot harder to come back from. I feel like I have no direction and don't fit in anywhere and always get annoyed when I have to talk to someone. I've been trying to find things to do that I think will give me at least some kind of direction, maybe at least a better job that won't burn me out, but it's been nearly impossible to continue with those things if I get started at all. It appears that my healing has stalled and I'm not sure how to continue with it.
Im feeling like this too. Felt like i was dealing with my past crap, seeing how my behavior was self-sabotaging and getting clarity --and all of this required me to be alone. but now suddenly so much feels to be falling apart.
I adore your INFJ videos. These are so descriptive as to the direction to take my life, and simply, that I'm not the only one. Great quality on the videos (great zoom in/out on spot-on topics and your quality advancements over years and years of changes)...my struggles are small talk (remember/learn words), $ as opposed volunteering/sharing time, and accepting that my personal desired self time is "the" value not an continuous uncommon annoyance for others. Giving your Boot Camp a consideration...
Thank You for this really knowledgeable video. I found that I have 3 of these unhealthy qualities, Having long time taking decisions, Feel like not fit for this world, And Sometimes feel like not talking to anyone at all... You gave some tips on it here but now I am going to watch your other videos to make a change in myself and become a Healthy INFJ.
@Umberto Staccioli It happens to me as well and sometimes it's time consuming even for some less important decisions. Yesterday I went through some tricks for this issue and found that If we break a decision into further smaller division then we could easily take a perfect decision by answering the smaller divided questions quickly. I am gonna follow this from now hope it will be helpful to you as well....
But I know I'm strong because of all this narcissts I got gang stalked for years and I cut them off and everybody on them sides. I'm alone but that's it. Better being alone than being around fake ppl.
I don't think I've ever actually been a healthy infj🤔 I was so tired all my life, people always assumed I was anemic. I wasn't, not even when pregnant. No one was ever able to find anything wrong with me, so I've just lived with it. Somehow I still manage to accomplish huge things in shorts bursts of time... After I get past the procrastinating.
Some ppl get adrenal fatigue which can feel like chronic tiredness. It is basically low levels of cortisol which is not only the stress hormone but also energy hormone so to speak. Reason - being around toxic people and experiencing chronic stress for too long - so that your body it tired of producing cortisol (which is supposed to help you get out of stressful situations and relationships). When I found out about this, it explained a lot)
#6 That's why I put an enormouse background narrative when I am starting something. I start this because... and then follow a long story of strangely connected past event's with a lot of symbolism. I seggest that's not the easyest way to go, but... INFJ are alergic of taking on the easy path you know it. To explain to an INFJ what is "the easy way" it's often like talking about nuclear phisics. #7 I do remember my first two months in my work this spring. It's linked with the points 3, 4 and 5 again. If you don't feel part of what you're in you most probably end exhausted at the end of the initiative. That remind's me of my first job in the end of 2017 when I could'nt get well with the team and as a result I quit it on the third month totally drayned. #8 INFJs need a porpouse in order to start something. Luckly there's nothing that could bring me out of my bright side thinking, I'll always find a way to motivate my self in some way because my thinking is unlimited. I'm almost 27 with no year job experience and I know how most people react to this, but I don't care, it's a matter of being alive in every minute of your existance and being alive condition can't be measure with popular stereotypes. That's why the stereotypes exist in the first place. They try to simplyfy the answer of the question what is to be alive all about, but that is not a colective knowledge, it's a personal journey so stereotypes can only demotivate you or make you lose precious time acting not acording to what you really are. #9 It could not be without the one-sided relationship matter. In fact when I was in such an unhealthy relation's I knew that it's not the way it should be, but it's hard to walk away from it. In fact the few time's I have been in one-sided relationship's the hundered time's I have avoid it probably, but that's not enough. People are not project as you say, people are not machines or a building to be build according to a graphic and some measurement's or a mathematical calculation of 2+2 makes 4. People are as complicated as hell. #10 Again linked with 3, 4 and 5. If you still not in alignment with your inner self and your representation in public you will run away from public, that's obviouse.
It’s Hard to be happy when in separation divorce case and have to wait while the lawyers are doing what they do best. Money is not coming in as well. Work is not working. I need time to heal and emotionally spiritually I have to rest and take care of myself. I have been patient and I am in transition. This healing process will need solitude for now. I need time to heal
Every one of these are so true, and I know I have experienced them all at some time or another. I think I've come through a lot of them, # 4 was probably one of the most difficult to change for me, I still think I'm in some aspect of working through #6 and #7 but feel I'm at least focused in a positive direction with it, #9 I dealt with quite some time ago, although maybe not in the best way, by just totally shutting down and removed myself from the equation of that, although I know to really be healthy in that area means to move in a positive direction with that. Great advice as always 👍😃
What are some other signs I have experienced that have shown, that I am not healthy at that moment ? People thinking that I am too sensitive or emotional. I express ideas on what to do in order to have a better work environment for safety, efficiency, etc. I get told by others that I worry to much. I just tell them, you don't worry enough. I have worked on my approach, yet I don't give up on valid concerns.
Thank you for these videos. So much of this resonates with me. Almost everything you spoke about I have felt. I am trying to make changes and overthink and worry about everything! I'm new to your channel and don't know if you have a video on how to deal with these unhealthy traits. I have started moving away from people that make me feel uncomfortable and bad about myself. I am understanding that even though I was raised in a family where emotions were supressed, I have emotions and have the right to express these appropriately. It is hard but, in the long run I think it's best for me.
You know. I am not going to watch this one because just looking at the section titles I am pretty much every single one. I have to protect myself from things that are going to depress me so probably best to avoid this one.
At this point in my life im dealing with almost all of these😣ive gotten better with selecting wrong relationships and helping ppl who dont appreciate it tho.
I know I am one. I stay alone almost always because in my mind people do not understand me. I deal with bad depression and anxiety and that adds gas to a already huge fire. I also don't have the energy to try most days
There's a lot to be told here. It will probably take me few comment's. #1 I like to say that I know that I'm an INFJ long before I found MBTI and a lot of RU-vid channels. It may be because of my family envirement as a child. My parents never want from me to be this or that, moreover especially my father is totaly in my wave in the matter of not following the rules of the croud so that infamouse INFJ independence, that inner voice saing "my self first" has been always with me from a very early age. I have never been in a situation where anyone else's opinion ruined my decision making. Well that leads to the opposite probolem, but that's an other topic. #2 I have a stories of feeling that way, but for a short amount of time. Deep within I know that this condition is not normal so if I fall in it I desperately looking for a way out quickly. #3, 4 and 5 Thes are very well linked. It all comes to controlling your INFJ abilities. I do have thes problems years ago. Long time as I was younger I have rejected my ability to blend in because I did'nt want to blend in, I want to find answers to my long term existancial question's and ilusion's, but ilusion's are ilusion's. There's no way of other's to embrase you before you embrase yourself. Your outside come's from your inside so you have to blend in, you have to make yourself part of the puzzle in order to be a part of the puzzle. I like to say that I have two voices in me. One is my current me and one is my previouse "me" who does'nt know how to deal with his own self. And what I do I give my inner wounded child a hand and take him to a better place where I am now and move on to the next level. I like to describe it that way. Well it's not as easy as it sound's, but you have to do it.
When i was young I moved around alot and it was hard to make friends, now that I'm older it is still the same way. It' hard to trust people. I do case management with homeless and have no problem helping people. I just can't trust people. I'm confused.
Thank you so much for your great content! ♥️ It feels so good connecting with similar people. I'm really struggling with "taking action". I have a lot of dreams and visions but I'm not sure which way I should choose for my life or how exactly I can realize my dreams. So because of this insecurity I can't figure out my next steps. Any recommendations how to find the right way and actions?
I have the same problem. I started with the INFJ poster download the link is in the description box. Read through it you will know what you need to work on most and start making changes. Make your foundation solid so you can reach for the stars.
I watch Yours video and feel like i gone explose. So much informations. So much to think. Unfortunately english is no my native language and im scared that i will miss something... or feel that what you say isnt for me -because of language or just want hide myself and pretend that im like other people. Howerver, I want to thank for You job and help :)
@Umberto Staccioli hmm.. maybe it’s like having a balance of both? I like the t because that’s just a part of who I am. But the a is good in practical situations. Like when i can just be fully myself and comfortable , I like to let the t loose. When I am in formal situations , for instance like not saying the jokes to lose respect etc. keep myself in check. I guess like oscillate between the two. Being a kid and an old soul at the same time. I love just being a kid. But also knowing when to be serious (basically what an adult is). I think my trouble is that I let myself be manipulated and used a lot because I was neglected for so long that I almost can’t allow myself to be disliked. So I’m still in that hardcore people pleasing phase… I’m in the early phase of development… but I want to develop on my own terms. So to speak. I don’t know. I’m just taking this one day at a time
Is it just me or are there other infjs out there who have a song to help calm the infj panic aka anxiousness. If so what is it I'm curious to know Mine is Destiny 2 theme Journey
Lol as if it’s all planned, or somehow some kind conscious decision to be funny… shorter version, we’re funny because we let our inner monolog escape from our mouths…
Wenzes, in this video, you have put together most, if not all, of the challenges I encountered as an INFJ - but in my pre-Myers Briggs days, it was a "work with them as they appeared" basis. But you have them here in a useful, practical list. I wrote a them down as you gave them - handy for periodic reviewing .🙂 I especially appreciated your take on relationships. I can vouch for what you said about finding compatible people as we are pursuing our goals - and find out that we can grow together and help each other. This (as opposed to "relationship-for-relationship" sake) was always more rewarding for my life as an introvert. And BTW - over time I found out that we can build up a decent collection of good, faithful friends!
