13 SIGNS YOU'RE BEING MANIPULATED: How to Identify Manipulation 

Gossip is such a huge red flag! Whoever gossips to you will absolutely gossip about you. I have not found this to be untrue in any relationship.

Definitely trust your gut. Thats something I should've done months ago and failed to listen. If something is off, your body will let you know

My new rule is, if it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

This video shows me how manipulative I can be in one way. I definitely rush intimacy with someone I really like, but it’s not for some evil ulterior motive. I just get so excited that I’m actually interested in someone, and I want to know them and I want to be seen and known. Definitely goes back to childhood emotional neglect. I never considered that manipulation before now.

Emotional abuse is currently a crime in the US. I would like to see a video on how to bring legal charges against narcissists for emotional abuse.

ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. trust me. if you do not it could prove to be a disaster.

I'm currently 6months no contact with the narcasist! I'm having therapy for PTSD, your videos are such a great help! Thank you soo much! God bless you! Lots of love from the UK..❤

I have also noticed, especially for people who are new to being manipulated, everyone else warns you about the person. Friends, family.. they can all see the signs.. but you keep defending the person even when you know something is off. Especially during the love bombing phase. Because you are willing to risk anything for that love to be real.

I wish I saw this 4 years ago

I would LOVE to see a course like this for kids. Teaching your kids how to identify these things can help them make it through the terrors of middle school. Lol.

1. They push your boundaries early on 2. They ask if you trust them 3. They guilt trip you ( if you feel guilty all the time you’re being manipulated ) 4. You don’t feel enough ( they wear you down over time - you’re always proving your worth to everybody) 5. They project what they are onto you ! Manipulative people are essentially insecure & broken people. Healthy people don’t turn you down. Tips: 1. Don’t allow anyone in your life easily always give it time 2. Have solid boundaries 3. Cut down spending time with a person instead space out interactions 4. Don’t trust anyone unless they prove they are trustworthy which takes time 5. Watch if actions match with words 6. Don’t over share or share anything personal about you 7. Don’t share your fears or anything vulnerable 8. Don’t let them know what makes you angry 9. Anything can be used against you so watch out. How to deal with people like this: 1. Believe nothing they say about others 2. Don’t fall for guilt tripping/gaslighting 3. Don’t react with anger/tears or anything negative instead be detached 4. Be in control of you and your reality, when you know your value and worth as a person you won’t allow anyone no matter how manipulative to take that away from you. Your belief in yourself, your worth and value in your own eyes can’t be taken or distorted by anybody. Imagine your “self” was under threat the person inside and someone outside you was trying to do all these manipulative techniques to destroy him/her, how would that make you feel?! Recognise these strategies and when you see what’s happening you won’t fall for it ( how can someone play you when you already know the game they’re playing?!) they can’t! Learn the games and protect yourself and your sanity. Stay safe ✌🏼

I just exited a relationship where my partner had all three motives of a manipulative person: hid their true intentions, avoided responsibility, and lovebombed me with visions of marriage, children, and repatriation; they were codependent and while I was grieving my lost father, they were developing another side relationship and cheating. I wish I had this awareness in the beginning. I had a bad feeling, but I trusted them because they seemed to love me so much. I trusted them, and they were dangerous. And this video is helping me heal.

Mine forced the connection with my family and friends immediately. I never met anyone in his family in 3 years. I was never introduced to a friend of his.

I’ve learned so much about narcissist abuse and narcissism. I’ve realized I’ve been in these relationships several times

Am I the only who thinks she looks like Céline Dion? 🤔

Sadly this was my spouse, seeing so much now and allowing myself to see it now that I managed to get away and stay away. Thank you for reaffirming this that yes staying away is the best for me.

I’ve just discovered I have manipulating behavior!!! And I’ve been heavily manipulated!!

Great videos. My ex wife is the poster person for being a Narcissist. Expert at gaslighting tried to alienate me from my family.

I worked for a sociopath for two years. Out of six employees, including me, five of us thought he had no empathy for other people, and he was self absorbed. He was very manipulative. He didn’t sound like the person described in this video. He had charm, and would talk to you like you were his friend. But workwise it became more and more a master servant relationship with no respect for my personal space. He’d just tell me what to do, with no regard for me as a separate person. His manipulative modus operandi was to agree with everything I said when it came to non work discussions, to make me feel important and valued. But when it came to work, it was “obey me”. It took me a year to see through him, and it became soul destroying to be in his presence. I ended up gray rocking him, though I didn’t at that stage know the term. It was simply a method I developed to protect myself from the invasion of my personal space. I guess this is all about honesty. Manipulative people achieve their aims by tricking you into doing their bidding, by pretending to be your friend, but in reality they are playing with your emotions. It’s a parasitic relationship. They suck you dry. Genuine people want to create an honest relationship, and they care about the effect they have on other people.

I definitely messed up on the numbers (it is 13, not 11) 🤦‍♀️ Sorry about that! But maybe we could make it to 20. Do you have any tips to add? *Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

I love how you speak directly to those of us experiencing this. Not about the issue or about us, but to us. It is validating and helps with feeling connected/understood [what we have been craving, but in a healthy and clarifying way].

The covert i just dealt with recently she would say i love you so early & so much and it was dam near robotic. She would also say i can't live without you & she would do this force hard cheesey smile! Very creepy! So entitled to eveything early as if already married.

Because of my nature kindness many people surrounding me manipulated by many different ways as this video described. It's annoyed time to time, all I have to do is hear from left ear and let it out from the right side. Those people always need attention and I believe they have mental health problem. Thanks for the video, it's explain me a lot.

I would like to know about jealousy when being in a relationship with narcissistic person. I feel that he's making me jealous on purpose and then blaming me about being jealous. Can you make a video about this?

- - dang, he used everyone of those... red flags i ignored, thank you for opening my eyes wider

Fantastic. And Gaslighting is also a form lying too. It's crazy making. Thanks for your video!

I picked up on the fact the narc was faking commonality with me but i found it flattering, also i was at a new school and desperately needed new friends. Everything you said here is true of him. He recently tried to hoover me, during one exchange via text i picked up on the fact that he was subtley pumping me for info about my living situation, how much spare time, money i have, where i live, can he come over. I had to throw up boundaries left and right, like you said these are not things ordinary ppl ask about. He wanted back in my life to the same level as before, immediately. I felt obligated, like i owed him to be friends again, and he guilt tripped me saying "dont throw away 14 yrs of friendship" well I already threw away 13 yrs of friendship a year ago im not sure how it got to 14 lol. It was stressful talking to him, even through text.

Thumbs up Christina. So recognizable. Man, I felt such an idiot just after I finished my relationship with my covert narcissist ex partner. Afterwards I did some analyzing what happened and what my part was, I felt relieved. It was not personal and my ex has so much problems but always walks away when she has to take responsibilities. Her façade and her flaws I saw them later in our relationship and how she hates me for that now 18 months after our break up. I don't mind, it is her life.

It's been 3 years of no contact and gray rock, why the ex is the one who accuses me as the manipulative and emotionally abusive...so sad that till now the pain is still in my heart losing the kids and family that I love so much because of such disorder...

I already knew I was being manipulated, but hearing what you had to say really struck me. It saddens me, because the one who is doing this to me is my Mom... I feel as if I have no life any more because it's all about her. The jealousy of me having friends, I do practically everything for her and yet, I can never catch a break. I suffer with chronic pain due to a car accident, I have CPTSD.. she doesn't understand. I'm hurting, my body hurts but she expects soooo much. I would rather kill myself getting things done, than deal with the guilt and silent treatments for saying no. .. I feel like I'm losing my mind.. it's a constant battle. Even the pain issues have become competitive.. like WOW! I have a great support system, but I also live with her because I'm on disability and can't afford to live on my own. It's tough.

1. Putting me on the spot intentionally. 2. Passive aggressive comments. 3. Bad habit of gossiping about others. I knew she would at least eventually gossip about me. 4. Making me feel like I owe her return favors. 5. Making me feel like I'm not worthy of her family. 6. Playing the victim and deflecting when I called her out. 7. Gaslighting. 8. Shaming me for my introvert personality behind my back. And probably others.

So many confirmations about a situation I was in recently for several months. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I just kept thinking it was a weird ride, interacting with this specific person. RU-vid started recommending your videos and they have given me solace about the situation, and now I have a better understanding of why my gut turns when I see them. Extreme covert, so many of the things that happened I may not have even realized what they had done, until I did a review of the situation in my mind after the fact. Thank you for your videos, you are greatly helping people!

Excellent video. I have a very casual friend who has latched on to me and is more like a stalker now. This person doesn't respect my boundaries needing me to re-enforce them over and over, this person, always finds an excuse to be around me, every conversation is like an interrogation, this person tries to isolate me, they have learned my schedule and are constantly look for ways to interact with me. Every so called kind gesture or offer of help feels like a trap. This person has begun to ask other people about me now too. My gut keeps telling me to avoid or limit contact with this person but it's hard because we have mutual friends. I just always get a creepy feeling about this person. They stand too close to me when we speak, this person is always trying to touch me too. I am keeping a journal about this person and I am always on my guard when they are around. Stalkers are master manipulators.

Best friends right away and that was her initial trap. I felt comfy with it because we've known each other for years before meeting this year. At church i was introduced as her best friend. Ugh, good grief. I'm glad i see this pattern in your video, and others. Thank you for putting this together!

Thankyou....so many things you mentioned are done by my so called 'friends'...what they DON'T know is I will be walking away from them, maybe not even saying why...and one day they'll wonder what I'm gone...

This is crazy. I have been with someone for 3 and a half years, and im just realizing now how ive been manipulated the whole time.

I broke it off with my narcissistic fiancé because every time we would argue or he gets upset whenever I called him out for his lies and then he would always use “I don’t think I can marry you or I don’t think we should get married.” And that was always a fear of mine because I would always end up coming back to him. It was awful. And he always did that until I finally decided I wouldn’t put up with him anymore. I’m so hurt but it was time to let go of him and his manipulation/emotional abuse.

Thank you for these videos I feel like I’m going crazy , I am so hurt and just devastated :(

It's rare to find a relationship that isn't manipulative. However, once you can identify what it is that others are trying to get from you, the easier it is to navigate. You can work with it if its beneficial for you, or dodge it if it's not.

My husband to the T. I spent years explaining, asking etc. Not stopping it. I think he still don't understand what he is doing. Every single question he ask is somehow manipulation, he doesn't ask or say what he wants but something else, he is trying to get to the point from behind and you sense immediately that he's got a hidden agenda, some thoughts behind the question that he is not telling you. Extremely exhausting and kills a genuine, normal communication straight away. If I call him out and ask why he is not saying what he really think or asking what he really wants to know he blame it on me saying he is frustrated because of me and that is why he doesn't know how to say it.

I was manipulated for 6 months by a woman. She always complained about her narcissist personality disorder mother, but she certainly was is one herself.

I had an old injury pain come back.. Could barely walk for a couple of days. Then I connected the dots... My body was literally telling me to NOT take another step forward. Thanks, body!

I’m learning this the hard way. During our date he was super nice like you literally can’t name a single bad thing about him. He’s always there for me. We had deep communication and he even brings up future plans but all of a sudden he changed and gave me silence treatment left me. Not even a month or two later he already dating somebody else … right now I’m in so much pain I’ve been way to comfortable by his lies and only realized and processing everything

It's crazy how many red flags i missed with my mother. She uses every trick in the book

Thanks for this video… my ex has a certain way to make me feel unworthy. Makes me question whether I was the abusive one calling out her behaviors and then I would always end up apologizing. In the end .. she was always right and I was always wrong and stupid.

Christina: I've been watching your videos for the past month or so because I am looking to heal from dealing with a woman that I really believe is a narcissist. She was already talking about marriage early on and when I asked her whether she would be comfortable if her future husband wasn't me, she responded by saying that she would never be happy. I didn't believe her but I suspected by the second month that she is a narcissist. Also, she would always tell me different stories about how she wanted money for this or money for that and it got to a point where she was really stressing me out. I had to ghost her out and block her number. Long story short, near the end, she started to get angry and became demanding and even became vulgar. I think that this is the part called narcissistic rage? I decided to tell you this also because I had to try and let myself heal. Thank you so much for being there for us. Have a beautiful day!!!

Feeling like I had to prove something was a big one for me. Like I constantly had to play it cool. Take their bad behavior in stride. They'd bail on me or refuse to make time for me and I felt like I had to prove I didnt care. Because if I did care than I was being selfish or needy. If I cared that she ignored a text I was acting jealous and possessive. If I cared that she was acting distant, or treating me different than normal, I was "reading too much into things" I was put into this box that required me to act aloof and indifferent, or else I'd face criticism. I didn't want to act aloof and indifferent. I loved her. And I thought she loved me... she certainly used to. I basically had to mirror her attitude in the relationship at all times or else it would bring tension.

There are so many Fd up people I just keep to myself. I give up. I don’t know where the normal people have gone or what happened while I was asleep bc everybody seems fake weird stupid or hateful. Too many mentally ill people. Everybody has something and is on some drug whether legal or illegal.

100% true. I wish more people knew more about this.

Thank you for the continuous support.

Thank you very much for this video. It is very helpful. I am a recovering Co-Dependant, and I am a nice person who likes to help others. I currently live with a manipulator, (roommate-non-sexual) and boy, is she something else. I have to really watch myself because when she is nice, I sometimes forget she has an ulterior motive.

Your really making a difference love!! I already knew some of this info but just the basics, you really opened my eyes so much more & I feel such a sense of relief !!! P.s I'm spiritual aswell 🥰

I remember a female coworker, it’s been some time but, I liked her a lot and one thing we had in common was watching movies, she had a huge collection at home, and I remember she made me a list with a bunch of movies and some songs, and I started slowly watching some of the movies and listening to some of the songs, and when I would see her at work I would talk to her about the movie/song that I watched/listened and I have to admit that some of them where not necessarily the genre that I go to, I genuinely liked the movies and the songs, and I do remember thinking that if I kept telling her that I liked the movies she gave me she would’ve eventually thought that me telling her that I liked the movies/songs was not genuine, and I even stopped and didn’t finished the list because of that, I remember she was asking: “ so, have you watched any movie” and me telling her I didn’t had time or I’ve watched other stuff… now watching the first sign on this makes think even more she might have even thought I was not being genuine, but I was! Damn…

The girl that I am currently in a relationship with, the reason why I started seeking these videos, struck out on the 1st 3.

Mine lives right across the hall. This is the toughest thing I have ever been through. She drilled me on my past mariage. I wish I knew this 2yrs ago. She did almost everything you mentioned.

So helpful advices. Can someone have many narcistists traits, without being one? I mean If they are generally calm but cold, help you, advise you, seem to care for you and others, they dont care for their appearence and are repsectful BUT when you try to be closer to them you see, that they have problem to express feelings, they are critical even in a funny or passive aggresive way and that they try to make you feel problematic at times that in fact they are not happy, or they get a little annoyed when you touch them or interapt their silence. Small details that make feel that something is wrong.

This is literally happening to me everyday

Can you use more examples from the workplace, instead of using so many examples from romantic relationships, please? Thanks! Love you channel.

I do the first few things because I love getting to know new people x{ I also love trying to elevate people and that's how I do it. My n's kind of raised me to not have very good social skills or understand what is normal and not normal. But I do my best to be appropriate.

I broke of a relationship with a narcissist a few months ago and he'd always have some kind of victim excuse for the way he was mistreating me. He would blow me off because there was always something more important he had to do. He talked over me because he was "easily excited" and "just did it without thinking cause he had something important to say". He'd gossip about other people "because he thought he could trust me with his problems/venting". He would make me drive long distances to see him because if I didn't I was "abandoning him", even though sometimes he'd tell me an hour after I got there that he had something else to do and cancelled on me. Even when I broke it off and told him his actions were hurting me, he was "offended" that I could even consider his actions hurtful. I've been going to therapy ever since and I'm in a much better place now.

Married 11 yrs I put my foot down , I never came across such a terrible person in my life before.

I gossip about situations....I don't want to be like this...I'm very judgmental and I exaggerate 😮

Oh my. Thank you so much for your video! So useful! I think I am dealing with a manipulator (maybe a narcissist, too).

I experienced this with someone in the workplace and shut that down.

This video resinates with my life thanks Christina Namaste !

Sometimes, people just don't know what it's like to be the victim of false, unfair, unlawful accusation, especially unlawful accusation! I may not know what the true intent of this video might be for, but as much as i can relate to it, but some people don't mean or even know what their actions are, and you got to remember that! Think about your actions before you judge someone, because some of us can know evil people when we see them!

You just described my horrific ex-roomate perfectly. Thanks for the very informative and insightful video.

This type of person you describe sounds like they have neurosis at least, low self esteem, a cluster B personality, two faced. I know so many people like this! All such good points!

This video's a keeper. This has answered so many questions. Thank you.

Please be aware of how disorders can affect the presenting of these signs. And please be aware that we can be guilty of these ourselves as well as be subjected to them.

Really enjoy your content -thank-you for putting it out there -this -and other channels are helping me to navigate my way through some behaviors.

Has anyone ever had someone threaten to unalive themselves when you want to leave the relationship?

Thank you for this video. I wish I wouldve seen it 5 years ago. Now I feel like im in a deep hole I cant get out of! 😞

This video showed me that I am manipulative as well. It’s so interesting how some of us are a magnets for these types people. They almost wear off on us though. I think it’s because we’re just trying to protect ourselves from getting crapped on. I use to love bomb people as an preemptive strike, plz like me and don’t hurt me. Sad way to live. I hope I never try to get anyone to like me ever again.

Ugh I wish I would have known this then. I got played sooooo bad

They love baiting ppl and mirroring to see what your doing at all times.

Holy crap! Explanation is so good!

Sadly this video described my husband to a T I wish I had this video 2 or 3 years ago. Oh well the situation I was in before that with my mom wasn’t good either. God knows what we need. He brings people into our lives for a season.

You are amazing💙 you open up all topics in very unique Way. I finally get some answers. Thank you🌸

All of this signs are being possessed by my ex bf, I am so so inloved with him that I ignored all the red flags. I am really devastated but so glad that he cheated on me because if he’s not, maybe I am not going to give up on us and be blinded by love despite of the stress and anxiety that he gave me. I didn’t get the apology that I deserved, I only get a simple and plain “sorry” no more no less from him and he’s more sorry to our mutual friend to save his face. I am still thankful because he pushed me towards ultimate reality from a bubble full of illusionary state. Be brave to walk away to your toxic relationship ASAP! It’s hard but you will gain a lot of learnings and self love in the end. Hugs to all of you! 🥺

Thank you so much. Love your videos. They help so much. Everything fits and still he s so smart. I think he s a native narc🙈. Everything, even the asking for private info in the beginning. He wanted to know how my dad called me when I was little. I didn't tell him. He would have used it to seem as near and trustfully as my family. Just one of 100 things that fit exactly like all this other little and subtle habits to devalue and manipulate. Thanks from Germany😊

They gossip so much because they don't want you to have a mind of your own

Thanks Christina. Very helpful Such a lovely lady

Here are the goals and signs of a manipulative person, but it's absolutely worth the full listen. I needed them written to reflect and connect them. Happy healing, everyone. 3 Goals of a manipulative person: Hide their true intentions Avoid Responsibility of Their Own Actions Gain others' trust faster than normal 13 Signs: New person is interested in everything you are Weaponizes compliments Personal and probing questions Suddenly latches onto you/lovebombs Always plays the victim Has you feel indebted or if you owe them Makes you think you've something to prove/Makes you think you're less than or unworthy Listens to a lot of gossip/pins people against others/poisons the well Has you question yourself/gaslights Use your fears against you Has you feel like you never get your point across Uses guilt and shame to keep you under control Exaggerate or simplify your concerns

OMG This is probably the best one ive seen

Excellent! Thanks for the video.

They normally HIDE the new person from family and friends, in my experience, but maybe others have experienced something different to me.

@Huck Mart So so true! The reason they want you to be cool and aloof is that gives them license to do what they want because YOU didn’t give them enough of what they failed to tell you they wanted. The more I was aloof at her request the more license she had to flirt with guys on Bumble or Tinder because I didn’t give her enough attention. Been there done that brother.

There are a lot of manipulative people online. Romance scammers who you have never met are the most manipulative.

The argument that broke the camels back: me: "i dont want to do what you say without an explanation as to why i should do it" them: "so you dont want to make me feel happy?" me: "no, thats different" them: "so you dont want to emotionally support me?" me: "not what i said..." and so on and so forth...

Can a narcissist stop being a narcissist and do they know what they are doing while they are doing it ?

I’m having a problem with a “friend” who’s taking advantage of me. She drags me away from my other friends, starts fights with people, then lies about it to me. She tells me things my other friends said about me, and they swear to god it’s not true, and I have a feeling she’s making it up. Today, my real friends called me and told me that the “friend” is taking advantage of me because I’m “an easy target” and idk what to do.

I just found out that I am married to this person. I am scared. Don't know what to do?

You manipulated me into liking and subscribing. 😂

I’m back! Love you! ❤️

I wish I saw this video a year ago!!

This is very helpful Thank you

My friend just have this problem with her partner, he always makes her feel bad and he never want her to have friends I can never contact her when he is with her She even scare to answer any phone calls She has open up and told me What can I do to help her ?? She lives in fear when she around him I don’t think this is love

all this is so true to my life

Sandiego based company's Graphic's hiring manager RG is expert manipulator. He asks personal question, makes you feel small , uses triangulation. GED guy manipulating PhD women. Lol. I had no soft skills, I was not good enough but he still wanted to hire me. He yelled at me in meetings and still I don't have soft skills. I felt worst dealing with him. I defended myself when negotiating salary. Now I learnered these techniques. I am ok to walk away from such people than defend it answer their silly stupid questions.