I escaped the 9 to 5 ratrace we were all forced into through homesteading. I do t ever have to buy food, pay for power or water, I still have wifi. I chop firewood for warmth and spend quality time with my wife and son. My friends and family still think I'm going to fail any day now, even after 3 years and o e childbirth living this lifestyle. I have fun rubbing it in their faces, in a fun way of course.
Mistaking your patience for gullibility. They think you're stupid because you don't point out their faults, get angry or dramatic. They think they can pull one over on you. All the while you could destroy them because you see through their exterior as if it was glass. You desire for everyone to thrive so you're very patient. You cover them instead of breaking their delicate glass exterior. Then they think you're the dumb one.
@Its.The.Real.Momo. Great point. It's a fact only INFJs will understand. But rather, they label you as the dumb one in an attempt to quash your potential as you've now proven you're a worthy threat wielding knowledge 'over' them as opposed to 'with' them.
I am done with people to be honest and don't care if they underestimate me. When you are born as an infj, you have to get okay with the fact that people are gonna underestimate you.
A boss of mine is INTJ. And as a stealth master that they all are, he figured me out in the last months very much. He flew under my radar and found out that I am far more intelligent than he expected, than everyone assumes I am ( I work there for 7 years as an assistant). And if he would tell me, I would say: shhh! This is our secret!! Do not tell anyone !! I guess I am just a very secretive person haha🤐🤭😎 I dont really understand why but I love to hide myself haha. If I could have a superpower, it would be making myself invisible !
Five super points about why we INFJs get underestimated. 1. INFJs don't care to brag. 2. We are long term visionaries. 3. We see more potential in others than in themselves.. 4. We want to let others shine. (Dimming our own light) 5. We achieve things outside the box. All of the above for sure for me in general. And #1 and #4 in particular. Although I like to have my work and my efforts complimented, it's emotionally difficult for me to brag very much. Even when showing a piece of artwork to someone or offer to play a pretty song, I often feel self-conscious doing it. And as for doing things "outside of the box" - well, I seem to have been born unaware of a box at all. 🙂 Either that or I (like my extremely independent-thinking family) I strongly suspect I was born with a box of my own, because it definitely didn't match with what I saw other people doing.🙂🙂 It's made for some occasionally frustrating times, but in retrospect I realize I wouldn't have had it any other way!
I figure that bragging is for the insecure. The only way to accomplish something is to do the work. I can appreciate what others accomplish, without being jealous, if I am happy with what I have done. I get more satisfaction by letting my actions speak for me.
So true, thank you. What I find disappointing is that people are initially impressed by the impact I make in the beginning, especially when I enter at a trying time in their lives or endeavors but as soon as the situation is resolved they seem to discount my contribution as really not so exceptional in hindsight. Then they start tending to take me for granted and even sometimes become borderline abusive at which point I move on. But something that really puzzles and irritates me to some extent is my affinity to boredom. I love a challenge, doing something I have never done before, learning and acing it asap but on having mastered it I get bored and want to move on to something new again. Problem is it makes your resume look unstable and incredible, that someone has actually done and achieved success in so many disparate positions and functions seems to be completely beyond the average HR persons comprehension?
Your professional and career comment is hilarious, because I'm in the exact same boat. Currently struggling with job searching and my resume kind of screams 'jack of all trades, master of none' to outside eyes. Meanwhile I know I could do almost anything, all I need is a chance. Good luck to you out there.
I thought it’s just me. I’m there for the biggest challenge ie starting a business now it’s set up I cannot keep going with the daily stress I have to leave also I am being micromanaged and not respected appreciated.
Exactly , I’ve set up something tremendous that would’ve been done but a team of 5 people. But now business is running I am now being taken for granted.
I once had a job where the boss actually recognized my contributions to the company because of my way of connecting the needs of one department with the person in another department who could solve the problem. I did it in a behind the scenes way which made the problem solver shine, thinking I was under the radar since I wasn't even a part of management. It just gave me pleasure. BUT the boss was very much in tune so I received fat bonus checks as well as public pats on the back. I had never been treated that way in my entire life. It was a fantastic job! I felt recharged enough that I was able to go back into teaching.
Thanks for this video, Wenzes. INFJs might be a bit weird and rare, but I’m glad we don’t need external validation as much as other types. Living a life to impress others is limiting and exhausting, especially if one doesn’t get the attention they want or are expecting. It’s like running in a hamster wheel, always trying to “keep up appearances” and not getting anywhere. As you said, those who like you for who you are will gravitate toward you, and those who don’t will just scatter away. INFJs, always accept and be yourself. 💛
and we are deep as hell which rarely other types will acknowledge because of their ego. they really cant handle emotional intimacy, depth, and have the insights on certain social and philosophical aspects of things that we do naturally and the beautiful thing is alot of time if you yourself have self esteem issues and arent self aware these other types have no problem intentionally gaslighting, invalidating, down playing all of your opinions,observations, and insights. its sad and pathetic or theres simply alot of dumb people that think they’re opinions are always superior to you and never listening
I found this very helpful as I have been a cheer leader for others while quiet about myself. A useful skill to develop that has worked well for me is to let go of caring what others think of me. When I look back over my life and see how many times I have been "misjudged" or "mistaken", it appears that it will probably continue as it is common for people to "misjudge", and I myself have also misjudged. So getting upset about others not being able to see me doesn't correct the problem. It then boils down to as long as I know and God knows, that is good enough. I learned this tactic after leaving a very dysfunctional family believing that I was the worst person in the world. I've come a long way since then.
I find as an INFJ it's possible to not mentally care what others think of us BUT it's virtually impossible to not care what others feel about us because we emotional sponges that feel other's emotions as if they were our own. This is the conundrum; we can block people out of our #minds(thoughts) but not our #hearts(emotions). However we try we can't NOT feel people's feelings towards us even when we try not to care... Our extroverted feeling *can't* be switched off unfortunately 😔 it's a gift and a curse we must bear. Nonetheless, what l found works best is; instead of #resisting people's energy by trying not to care what they think of us, it's better to #understand where their energy is coming from. It's a bit of work but I find once l understand the root cause of people's feelings l get more perspective; which in turn helps me to clearly understand the bigger picture and where l am in said picture... l learnt that feelings are always looking for catharsis. Resisting and ignoring them only amplifies them. It's as the old zen proverb that goes "whatever you resist, persists."
Every person I have met who brags about themselves or achievements has been ousted as unauthentic. I don't even talk about the crazy things I saw in the service because I feel as if others will think I'm also pulling their legs.
@@MylezNevison I do try to understand where they are coming from and yes there is some hurt from not being accepted. But when I look at it from the bigger picture, such as Shakespeare's "all the world is a stage and we but actors on it" we are all on our own journey, we must deal with our own stuff, and our own Karma so we can function better as a society and that I am not responsible for fixing other people or saving them (a very hard lesson to learn), so to not to take things personally, in other words, not care so much. This has freed me up a lot. I don't feel like I'm resisting anything, just letting go. I can love people and pray for their happiness and success from a distance without being involved with them.
You mentioned how we solve issues outside the box which leads to our solutions being seen as "outlandish". I'm a homesteader. I live like it's 890, but with wifi. I wake up rested and start my day when I'm ready to. I suggest every INFJ consider this lifestyle, it's more affordable the more you do yourself.
I totally relate. I find it annoying when I meet someone for the first time and they talk about their life and then ask me, "So what do you do?" It seems almost like a setup, where what I say will be competing with what they have said. What I reveal about what I "do" is not necessarily going to impress anyone, and I'm really bad at self-analysis anyway, so I hate that question.
Tell me about it man..... I'm a single mother of 7 children...... I care for my children and my home all day every day. Most people don't see this as a "job".... so I hate when they ask that question...... 😵💫
@@preciousjewel1111 Have you tried saying " I am a homemaker". That term is all encompassing and powerful. You can be a homemaker as a single person, widowed, in a relationship, with or without children.
@@ayanajohnson2155 thank you for this insight. It helps me to see that perhaps I have been seeing my own situation as disempowering which is why I say it that way and receive such reaction from others (as they are a reflection of self). To see it the way you described really feels more empowering, I think I will continue to practice seeing it, feeling it, as well as saying it this way! Thanks so much for your reply, sending you infinite love! 🙏🏻💖
"What do you do (for work)" is my least favorite question. I'd rather have an hour long conversation about bowl movements then that. 😅 I've adapted a reply that typically shuts that line of questioning for a bit (and sometimes the whole conversation) by saying "I say in my own lane and mind my own business" or simply "i live, life is work" I was medically retired from the military at 25 and saying I'm retired while majority of my peers are not doesn't have a positive response and intensifies the 'peeing contest' as I call it.
You really helped me to understand something that's puzzled me my whole life. I'm a cheer leader type and I've never understood how the people who I've aided ended up misunderstanding my encouragement as me looking up and worshiping them....when in reality I never " looked up" to them anymore than I looked up to a snail...I just saw the best in them and wanted to encourage them to reach a potential that they themselves couldn't even see. Because, in my mind that's what "good friends" do. Now that I know people can easily mistake my praise, I have to use better judgment on who I decide to build up in the future, if anyone at all.
Usually, I get underestimated in my job and my hobbies. I am the only one who does my job, a couple of people can do my job, but they are busy doing other things or refuse to do it. Every position has more than one person doing a job, but mine. They don't really have a plan if I get seriously hurt, and can't work for more than a few days. My interests are underestimated, because, like you said, they are outside of the box. I love learning about other cultures as well as insects. These aren't necessarily bad things, but if I show my knowledge in them, I get shrugged off as being weird, not smart.
I can relate to all of these, but especially the cheerleader. I do tend to see other people’s potential and want them to be encouraged, but it sometimes backfired, because then that person thinks they are superiority to me and they start condescendingly teaching me. This doesn’t generally happen with intuitives , but sometimes does with strong sensors.
I'm always labelled as dumb as I keep my communications and actions at a very simplistic level. It's the price I pay for having done so. The when I do table a concept or solution they look at me with tilted heads. Silly on their part really.
I definitely don't like to brag and it does seem like a lot of the time even my co-workers who've I've been around for years underestimate my abilities. It's like they can't understand that as long as I'm shown how to do something, then I know what to do, rather than being told what to do. I don't know if that's common for INFJs or not, to be more visual learners or hands-on learners as opposed to auditory learners. I'm also thinking about the long game end of the goals. I don't think I can get my art goals done in one day or even one month. While I can write lyrics and poems quickly, the time it takes to get the lyrics or poems from the paper to the stage or for lyrics to be recorded on a demo can take many months and with the pandemic setting us back.
I'm an INFJ-T struggling with major depression, anxiety disorder and social phobia. Started medication more than a month ago, and see my psychiatrist and psychologist every two weeks.
I would like to meet an INFJ some day.. it would be like a sense of knowing and coming home. I've never had a tribe but I'm guessing these people would be mine lol
I have nothing to brag about. Good thing I can light up the room without words. Kidding. But seriously, some impressions last while others are extremely ephemeral; poof...gone. An inventory of accomplishments, however short, can backfire even in a job interview. In my experience, attracting folks, in a lasting way, requires a less cerebral connection; a more visceral one. Stirring emotions is better than turning on critical thinking. Being kind and sharing interesting stories and making folks relaxed are the impressions folks retain. Stay safe and be well. Love from Canada. ♥
I never knew this was a sign of being an infj. I always felt like I was leading people on by playing stupid and then when it would have the greatest impact I’d snap the rope back and what they thought was slack, they realized was a leash lol
I keep my accomplishments be it in my personal or professional life to myself. If somebody asks me about my life I will share. Otherwise I keep it to myself which makes it surprising to others when they know them....even long timed friends.
I love being underestimated. At work they have no idea I am psychoanalyzing them, the environment, and concocting strategies to improve things from the interpersonal relations to the business operations. Personally as well. We want everyone to win. We hate toxic environments. So, once we pick up on bad systems, bad behaviors, and poor business practices we begin scheming for something better. It’s innate. Now that I am older I prefer to contract. I have a hard time working in corporate environments that are locked into groupthink. Corporations these days are dehumanizing and are focused more on profit over quality. So, I prefer to go in and make recommendations and hopefully give them a different perspective. They can take it or leave it. I don’t get locked into which way they go and I don’t get stuck being loyal in dysfunctional environments. Don’t kiss em on the lips. I find it is better to study the nature of people when they don’t understand who you are. Are they kind? What is their character towards you and others when you are a nobody? People will act differently if they think they have something to gain from you vs. when they don’t. It’s good to hold back on your intelligence and skills in order to make good assessments of the players first. They don’t know what keen intel you are gathering on them. Later on they will figure out you are dealing with a full deck and you are way ahead of them in your analysis of them and everything else. The logic and intuitive skills. Deadly combo! Do I care what others think? Nah. Is it a harder personality to be? Absolutely. God made us this way for a reason. I try to use it to do the most good I can in this world. ❤️
Yes wenzes, I can operate in the box fine but it's boring and exhausting at the same time I want to connect with people on the upper level. But nobody will. So I have the boring and emotionally draining on the regular
Wenzies, I know when INFJ is successful in something it can be a sort of niche or something unique to them. Now that I am on this journey, I want that for myself but as you said there are not many examples around me of this. Are you able to do a video of what other INFJs have been able to achieve in business or some endeavor which earns them enough money to be independent and successful? It would be great to understand what some of the people you work with or know of were able to achieve? Thank you
Clay Arnall has a great video about how he earns his 6-figure living running an online business: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-YvefOaqRoCA.html
Youre a fairy tale Wenzes! The stuff you speak about (altho I dont really know if Im an INFJ given that its the rearest type) and the way you look. Pure beauty inside and out. Keep it up! Cheers from Sweden.
That is why when trying to help someone else shine you need to teach them and prepare them for excellence to be more able to do things for themselves more than they may currently be able to
Wenze's I'm in the box,I go through the box,and I'm outside the box.Wenze's I'm a being of logic,reason,time!!!However,to helpful,kind,trusting so I get taken advantage of which I don't like.I'm juggling then I'll go for their juggler and bite them so no more of them in my life.Wenze's good teaching today.Jerome
It's alright to help others, it's up to them if they receive or reject it. Insecure people do tend to turn on me so I have to cut them out, no matter how much I care.
You mostly shouldn't care about how people judge you, BUT sometimes you need to show off your achievements, and for the right reasons, like at work, in job interviews, even in some social occasions where you need to stand for yourself .. I'd like to hear from you and everyone else about what you do in these situations.. For me, in work I found documenting my work - with numbers and all - helps a lot, especially when you go "outside the box" and the things you did weren't noted.. Also, documenting doesn't feel like bragging, it feels more like stating facts, so that's a bonus. Socially, with my mom I had to train myself to talk to her in more detail about what I do from time to time, and that helped with her disappointment that l'm "not achieving my full potential".. I still struggle with other people though, especially when meeting old friends and they ask how was I and what I did this whole time! Anyway, You gave a good analysis 👍 Please keep them coming 👏
unless i like them, and they ask me. I dont brag, however the stuff ive told people in order to help them would be considered "Bragging" But it aint. Im proud of my success, im finally happy with what I am, knowing what I am and what I will do.
Perfect video for tonight! Great reminder to not act desperate for people praise. It just makes you look worse. Don’t worry about people. They don’t know what they are missing!
Your first point is very interesting to me because I find myself talking excitedly about a current project (usually a book I’m writing) but once I finish the book/project, it’s very difficult mentally to promote it in discussions. At the same time if it is someone else’s product I have no problem praising it to others. It’s odd and I didn’t get why, but it makes more sense now because of your video.
I rarely if ever mention my accomplishments. I don't get much out of it. People praise and approval doesn't please me long term. When I don't brag people think I have nothing to show or that I'm somehow lacking. I just don't mention what isn't relevant or even to someone that maybe wouldn't help or might actually distract me. The social games are annoying sometimes. I just want to be me. I will literally compliment people for the things they do and get criticised in return, but I don't tell them about all their flaws because that's not always productive or helpful. It's kind of frustrating dealing with most people.
never lose your sense of self worth/identity because thats what these vultures out heres #1 tactic is and emotional manipulation guilt and shaming tactics, reactionary abuse, undermining tactics. give them nothing because alot of these idiots are useless, use discernment to help those who are ready to be helped and you can see what level they are at to receive said help
@@Chercheure_Indépendante yep well if you’re anything like me i love u and youre not alone. we are to be the light of this world. people are delusional and its up to us to guide them
Oh I really really dislike any type of spotlight ....I get soooo uncomfortable and then I get irritable and it's just an awful feeling I do not like....I'm like this with receiving any tyoe of gift....Christmas, birthday anything, I honestly want none of them given to me by ANYONE ever. It is so uncomfortable and besides, money and nothing that money can buy mean anything to me and I've no interest in them. Those things are NOTHING to me .
In this twisted word (full of ego, full of people in survival, in the rat race) being healthy is seeing as being fool We are not wrong, they are wrong Don't believe them
we are severely outnumbered. i have been invalidated, minimized, abused, undermined, gaslit into oblivion by these ego maniacs, it is by the grace of god i have survived what i have and become who i am. these people are evil out here or its alot of dunning krueger effect with unintentional gaslighting because people are overly self assured of their fed mainstream narrative opinions so they are deep in their own delusional echo chambers
I am commonly perceived by others as extraordinary. Literally have 40+yr psychiatrists (hard ass clinicians) hippies and oil rig workers (in -40C) say "yes you do magic", or "thank you for changing my neuro-architecture" after their first couple hours at the same party as me. (I do and I did). Although that is challenging enough to deal with, in no small part because it is all intentional and from knowing, no guess anymore, I want to know why. I am an INFJ (like the picture in the dictionary INFJ). And I am familiar with the "underestimate" thing. But wtf is this now? I know what it is...but how does this work. If I walk down the street when I am well self-assembled, the friends with me experience the half block radius of effect. The precog, the deterministic effect of intention. I have been trying to blame psychosis (I am INFJ remember) but they won't confirm psychosis what so ever. I don't need the "temporal lobe misfire" of de ja vu. I was a neuroscientist. Not what this is. If you have words I am listening.
Interesting because I was surprised at how on point you are....your Ni is definitely there! Why am I surprised? :P My family surprises me with how surprised they are that I can actually do useful things -_- But I always seem to find a way to help professionals in all fields when I have to work with them. My Ni for example puts together legal reasoning and remembers past case law to make legal arguments no one seems to think could be successful....the point isn't an ego rub for me but seeing the light bulb moment happen to people I assumed couldn't be as open minded as me.
This 'reading' really resonated for me. This long response is typical of how I interact with people, when it comes to online, or in the written form. I feel like I live such a paradoxical life; because I have a ton of humility, meaning, that I know in the whole scheme of things we're all pretty close to the same level; but as I work hard to not repeat past mistakes, like being homeless and dependent on others... I come across this notion in business of having to promote myself, marketing, sales... in essence, bragging. It confuses me. I've had to learn how to brag. And it feels weird. But I do it; because it seems tied to my survival and eventual freedom. If I didn't have to rely on getting out there and seen for the talents that I have so that I could be paid for them... then I would certainly, live a life full of peace. But no... I've got this constant tug to excel and to help the world and the people around me... I seem gifted in that area... at seeing both the details and the big picture, or having a tremendous heart; but also being able to disconnect myself from people and to think very logically. I'm both an introvert and an extrovert, depending on my mood; and how I I view my present progress. I'm happiest when I feel that I'm progressing in an area that matters to me. I'm happiest when the people around me 'get' me and actually reciprocate the love I'm showing, demonstrating that they actually care about the real me and what matters to me; since I try to do that for them; but since I haven't seemed to be able to find anyone to do that for me... I'm left wondering am I enough? Am I somehow unloveable or undeserving? Is there something more that I need to tweak within myself, some character flaw, or let go of something so that people can truly see me and connect with me? Because of this I have a super small circle of friends; and at the moment, even they seem suspect. I'm a guy who's incredibly tough... I've endured what no human being should have to, having been in foster care, and beaten unconscious, and disowned by my father and hardly knowing my own mother. Those I've asked for help have often taken advantage of me at my lowest. Those who I looked up to, acted in ways that seemed very foreign to how they had been acting for the longest time.... when it came time to really stand up for something. They'd say one thing, or even act for a while like they were one person; but their VALUES, what they chose to do in the moment... always surprised me. It made me question whether I was such a great judge of character; and I began to distrust almost everyone around me. But I still have an open heart. I'm still devoted to those who truly show that they can be in loving, kind, considerate relationship. But I pull away for long periods of time; and this makes me wonder if I'm being a bad friend. I resonate with much of the Sigma mindset; but cold and uncaring doesn't seem to click. I only SEEM that way; because I need my alone time to recharge and re-evaluate myself on an ongoing basis. I seem to transform over and over again; and even though I want peace and freedom so much... I feel this great calling to contribute to society. It confuses me. I'm at once very scared; yet act anyway... often screwing up social interactions; and at other times, it's as if I'm made to speak or to be magnetic. I don't understand it. I have a super logical mind, that is also super creative, intuitive, psychic; and I follow my heart. I have a great balance, which I've had to carve out for myself, or settle into, as the case may be. Damn... I feel like this jumbled piece of yarn at time; and at others laser focused and grounded and confident and solid and competent both socially and work-wise. I feel like a spiritual teacher who's being punished; as if the things I'm saying or demonstrating I have to go through time and again to see if I really stand by those values or not. I'm always questioning my own motives. It's exhausting. Is God's or Deity's favor for me, or intimacy or love really shown by how people choose to interact or respond to me? Or can I be loved unconditionally with flaws and all? Peace DM
It is a great way to scare off the other prideful and depraved individuals. I don't know that I want to reach out anymore. But I do want to be helpful. And if I bottle up to much I will rant and rave. But not to collect validation or make meaningful connections in fact I would be lucky to get a like. I just find that after I read and listen so much I have to express my thoughts and feelings that I have processed back into the world. Also this will sound like bragging but I am certain that I am under surveillance because of some unique talents and abilities/ skills that I have acquired. So even this message in my opinion will be read. I could almost wish I was crazy. But it initially began as a spiritual experience when I drew closer to God. Now though I know I feel mostly when it is God's Spirit. And I have had some unique discernment and insight into the individuals behind it. And maybe unbeknownst to them the Spirits behind them. So this is strange because it is half to you. and 100% for prying eyes that I ignore, explore, engage, and on occasion enrage. And I hold the phone knowing they are invading the privacy of my home. But I still live like they don't exist. Pick my nose for all I care. They couldn't be me for a day. Let alone play an hour or more of truth or dare. Now I heard the red queen from Alice. And as a challenge stick my neck way out there. and if they were aloud just a short time in memory palace they would be lost. So would I without Jesus Christ now just to be fair my bragging comes with baggage that most couldn't bare. This post has 1 hour. Although I don't know Aldo if you will see it. This is Ghost protocol not meant for more than a release then I will delete it.
I hate bragging. What I believe is what you have been achieved is always belongs to you so why bragging about and show others: look! Look what I have achieved ! Umm …What’s the point😂? If someone achieved something with their own efforts, they will embody those features required for his or her success and people will sense that vibe sooner or later, if they know how to sense and learn a person decently.
I will say in chess.. I’m the opposite.. I tell my opponent exactly what I’m going to do.. and then I do exactly what I said. Haven’t been beaten in 26 years. Even when playing the same person several games in a row lol
Wenzes u are awesome! I love all your videos.. feel being understood :) I actually enjoy being underestimated by people because that means I don’t have to take on too much responsibility at work, and I get to receive feedbacks from others for my personal improvements :)
Oh no I talk about my achievements lol simply because people underestimate me or assume i don’t know a darn thing. I don’t brag but I will put others on notice. Especially when it’s a battle of wits. I’ll be humble though 😅
Don't go chasin, to try and see me...cause I won't have to hide that hard. I just want someone, to sit and wonder...how I can love you...... just the way you are. I don't like clever conversation, I've never been known to troll that hard.. I just want someone, that I don't have to talk to and have you precisely the way you are and on time please. .
Question: Do other INFJ’s expect their long term vision to happen more quickly than it ends up happening? Often when I set my goals I think I can achieve them much faster than actually ends up happening and it’s a bit disheartening sometimes. It also makes people close to me underestimate me more because it will likely take longer for my big plan than I want.
Can you make a video on how INFJs can live more in the present. Like I know increasing Se is important but sometimes I find myself still zoning out even in the middle of the Se activity. HELP
I'm still wondering about how old that plant is. Do you know? I'm ISTJ but one of my female friends is INFJ and I find your videos very valuable! Thank you!
