HOW THE INFJ BYPASSES EVERYONE (mind games are over) 

Have you "changed" the game in your life before?

I changed the game by learning how to validate myself. At this point in my life I don't expect or need anyone to validate me, to celebrate me, encourage me or support me. I do it all for myself and that has made all the difference.

Wow, this is so relevant to what I just experienced in the workplace as an INFJ. I landed a promotion in the company that I worked for for several years. With complete disregard to my level of education and several years of experience, I was treated horribly in the position. Trying harder didn’t help. Being nicer didn’t help. Doing extra work didn’t. Even going to HR didn’t help. One day when I had enough, I got up from my cubicle, got my things, and told them “Whatever is left on my desk or in my desk, you can discard it.” and walked out. Little did they know, I started my own business and got another job opportunity the next day. So that’s what you call changing the game. 😂. Love it. Live it. Will never forget it.

We INFJ are all Advocates and Wenzes is the Advocate for all INFJ 😀 Thank you Wenzes for your amazing work 🙂

Wenzes is like a sister everyone needs in their life🌻 thank you for helping us to improve as individuals!

How i feel about myself is the most important thing, forget the past implications, I am whole and complete.

This is a really good one. I was working on my healing, but not always on the action, but I'm doing better, and I have noticed a change. It's actually, quite liberating. I'm working on not depending on people for happiness, and creating my own happiness. I used to hang on to people, and tolerate being mistreated, because I didn't want to lose the affection or happy times, even if it was only 10% of their time. I wouldn't even question or confront them if I was mistreated, because I was in fear of losing that friendship even if it was a bad friendship. Now when I look back on what I tolerated and hung on to, I'm like it's not me, they were actually really mean. I've also learned that if people really want to be in my life they will change if I tell them they are hurting me.

You know... it has been 6 months since I found out that I am INFJ. When I did, I burst into tears because suddenly I knew who I was and I knew this type fit me because I immediately hated it. But this has been the journey of my liberation. Last year I just upped and quit my job. I was a senior lecturer at a film school, very good at my job and in constantly struggle with personalities. I went out, with a sketchy plan that blew up in my face. Sure I produced great work, provided successful projects for various institutions. but when the jobs were done, they rejected me. The last one, was for a course I was building for a theatre school. They loved the course. I also directed their first hit play in ten years. They loved it and it made the main city paper. And then they called me in before the entire team to tell me they don't know why, but they cant work with me. Something broke in me then. That was January this year. I had to sell my house. I moved back to my parents (the first time in my adult life). That's when I sat down and decided its time to know what it is that breaks my momentum. What it is that falls apart, who am I because I could point fingers all I want, but I am always the one in the centre of these episodes. Everything I've done, was to prove that I was worthy. I have always known I was supposed to start something, but I never did. I always looked for someone to work for, to seek their validation. I saw my childhood at first and blamed my family. But I kept remembering that this is beyond my family. There had to be something, because if I spent another year analyzing myself and trying to form what I think is the right personality for people--I was going to end up dead. OMG it feels good just to type that out. This channel. Has done so much for me. And continues to. You have talked about things that plagued my mind, about love, about validation, about how I think, how I work! Sometimes I can barely make it to the end of a video. But that's when I know it is meant for me. So I take it in bites over some days. But I take it all in, write about it and find myself grateful for the chance to get to know myself. And suddenly I know it's time to change the game. To do the crazy thing that I have known was my fate since I was 16. In two weeks, I'm starting my school of creative arts. I've rented some small venue with equipment I have scrimped and saved for. I have spent everyday waking up to meditating, working out, journaling, gratitude and forgiveness. It took me all this time to get out of my loops, and heal and plan to get to this place of taking action, but I know its time now. I hear this message you have given Wenzes, dont hate the players change the game. As soon as I have some stability, I'm joining your camp. I need brothers and sisters if I am to make it through this. Thank you.

It's so funny... This morning, after a night consumed by the destructive fire of hatred anger, jealousy, and a self-imposed 4 year long celibacy. A night in which I literally tried to destroy myself. I came out into the sunlight feeling something towards the world I hadn't felt for quite sometime. Love.. It is easy to forget who we are... when we are consumed by hate. Today, a new day. I am for the first time seeking love. It doesn't matter that people who have witnessed me at my worse shake their head in disbelief. It doesn't matter that I will be homeless in a few days. I have found my love right now. I am thankful for that

So true so true so true. By pass forgiveness and go straight to forgetting that it ever happened. Stop putting too much stock in what other people think. Who are these people that you justify listening to them?

I've been trying to explain this for years. I always put it: change your perspective, and you can literally change your reality. INFJ here. 😊 Edit: this video is the best brain massage ever.

I was tired of office drama in the open office we all worked in and I couldn't leave the workplace coz I was bad financially so after a while I was told to head a certain department after the head transferred to another place.In that department there was a kind of library office for the head but it wasn't like an official office more like a low down store that mostly remained closed with no occupant in it.Well,guess what for a tired INFJ who desperately wanted to move out of the open office that was paradise to me and it's been four years since I last witnessed dirty office politics.

Exactly what I did. Once figured out their game, I changed it. Seems more fun now. ❤❤

I swear you always amaze me with how you always seem to hit the target with every video. " we want other people to tell us we are ______. " outside validation 😩 "if I give more maybe they'll see that I'm ________." Geez. Hit my soul.

I recently had an answer to the question "How can I ever find peace when I always feel an unexplainable pressure from everything and everyone around me?" and the sudden answer was: "I'd rather take the time to start understanding myself, instead of wasting it trying to be understood by those who never will" Life can be lonely for some, but only those who crave the acceptance of others, feel lonely. Most INFJ's know what they're capable of and there really aren't that many people who can quite grasp the scale of the impact an INFJ can make and how much they're motivated to do so. Never change, INFJ's. It'd be a big loss for those who need you.

I just left my job due to....basically everything that you just stated about how me, the infj is underestimating myself in the world. I have been feeling so much like the whole world is out to get me. that nobody understands me, etc. Thank Goodness I saw your video about the INFJ Dark side yesterday. I am now binge watching your Videos !! Lol Just knowing that there are other people who are like me in the world !! Wow I have been so isolated where I live. It has been very very hard surviving this. I am now going to Thrive in this life. Thank you so much for doing what you do?

I am always getting stepped on. I need to change things to change this.

I like keeping my persona split with discipline and keeping the masks organized. They are useful tools. I'm a minimalist so material gain and progress disinterest me. I really enjoy the altruistic nature of the infj and see it as a strength in such a cold and damaged world.

We may not need to impress coworkers, but it helps. We do need to impress our bosses, technically and in teamwork. As a job changer, I've never known in advance how well things were going to go. There is always a honeymoon period. By the time that is over you are locked-in, or your resume looks non-committed. Most qualified employees have to be passed over, the workplace advancement structure has only so many slots. The system is rigged, it's not you.

I’ve watched three videos in a row and I feel like I’m having new perspectives unlocked every five minutes. Thank you so much

Change the game through your heart, everything else is a distraction😉

Have I "changed" the game in my life before? Yes. In my personal life, I had stopped attending a singles group as a result of some toxic folks that were members of that group trying to hold me back and I resisted. I left the group unannounced, and my life got better. In my professional life, I had sensed that things were gonna get real tough at the workplace in the near future and I transferred to a better workplace. Since then, I have been able to better myself and the work environment by presenting new ideas and suggestions. I feel more useful and appreciated.

One time I actually lost in this "game of life". Woke up the next day and just reprogrammed my brain. Snapped my fingers, the end. Only been on the up ever since. Slow and steady but my way.

So basically, self love, worth, and bravery is an INFJ's superpower and edge🥰☺️. I AM here for it✊🏾💜🔥🐯👑 it's about balancing myself, not the world around me. Aquarius baby, we are the RESET air sign

I have changed my game many times the last 16 years by moving to different cities and now in a new country.

Expectations are EARNED by YOU for YOU! Therefore no regrets, through resentment.

Oh, this is so head banging. I remember how a year ago, before learning MBTI, I thought "wow, I'm moving so fast through the life. It seems so natural, but comparing to my classmates my progress in any area is so much bigger. Like If I had a key to learning how to live a life, and others don't. It is even scaring, why no one notice it?" - literally. But then I tried to numb this thoughs, cuz I found them criminally arrogant and even creepy (I still feel the same a little) This video explained a lot of things, thank you. I wish all the INFJs are winning their games:)

Thanks Wenzes. I do my daily Wenzes videos as my own form of affirmations. It’s so helpful and encouraging. Other INFJ RU-vid videos seem too degrading and unaffirming. Whereas your authentic self comes through so well here. Love this channel. Thanks!!!

you touch on forgiveness here. INFJs also know that forgiveness has nothing to do with feelings, any feelings. Anger has nothing to do with forgiveness, nor has joy or any "feeling". "Letting go" has also been linked in repetitive cliches. They are completely different things. There is no enmeshed link. Please Americans, it's ok to be angry. It's ok to be human. Really.

for years I have told my kids, if you don't like how people talk about you then change your mind. Meaning stop caring about their words and start caring about yourself. Now I see I am not the only one who does this

Ready to change the game and not players.Appreciated Wenzes 👍

I don't comment on RU-vid much but I had to endorse this advice!! When I learned this it changed my life. Really powerful words of wisdom. I'm really enjoying your videos and other INFJ's take it in and stand in their power. Had to subscribe after this one. Really enjoying your videos!

I admire you for bringing so many topics and content on INFJ. Do you ever run out of topics? 🤭🌸

I have been working on this issue for a long time. The way my INFJ expresses itself is a lot like what you see in interviews with Marilyn Manson. I have a very strong presence and without intending to, I release people to do or say things that are very bizarre. Total strangers spill out all that's on their minds to me, and it's ether vile or sexy. This has lead to me getting kicked out of venues or events more then once . I use to think that people were right about me and that maybe I was the root of all the problems. I let myself be scapegoated. Then it dawned on me that the situation was F'ed up way before I arrived. I just lanced the boil and all the puss came out. I started the healing process for everyone in all my plutonian black moon Lilith glory. Your welcome! Please drive thru, your infernal order is ready .

Wow. Your “how would I act if…” advice at 10:25 is blowing my mind. I have goosebumps. I feel like you just gave me the tool I need to completely change my life.

So, glad you brought up Te vs Ti thinking. I steer clear of Te folks and they are just upset and rude all the time, (Melissa talks). They insult to cover their lack of imagination. People always think I'm pessimistic because I question the status quo, they just don't see I think differently and out of the box. I have always found success being a loner, which leaves people speechless as to how they can't comprehend the method to my madness.

OK. subscribed. My family was abandoned by my alcoholic father when I was just six. I took that personally, and always felt it meant I was not good enough. That has led to my trying to please everyone around me and looking for that outside commendation. I guess I'm getting older in that now I'm like, "Well, if they can't see how amazing I am, too bad for them!" kind of attitude. I still look for it though....

I am more of a visionary type of INFJ and not an advocate type I got tired of it in fact thanks to you

Best description and real facts I've heard about actual INFJs people.Thanks.

I think I’m evolved because I don’t care to try and resolve situations that don’t serve me. I think about it but then I analyze the circumstance and even grieve it but I move on. I may even be physically present but my mind isn’t there anymore

yo i just went off deep end on astrology and my birth chart, many focuses before that - infj was the next step to research im sitting here with my mouth hanging open hearing you speak these things. wow

You probably should have considered mind games before they began; not my problem is my life motto.

Exactly i had the i am not good enough all my life

This video is pure genius. Thank you for sharing it. It opened my eyes to what has been one of my biggest stumbling blocks.

Wenzes, you’ve just summed up the advice that I needed today. I have done some of the things you’ve just suggested from jobs and personal relationships. In my career field I’m in this place that I am never recognised and see other people come up bypass me to whole I am more qualified and experienced. But lately someone wants me to lead a niche start up with them. From time to time I still feel doubtful about this bug promotion and have expressed this doubt to them. They beloved in me apparently and admired that I’m self-aware of my shortcomings and doubts. In my current place , I don’t care anymore I’m going soon. But I’ve been through of doing more and more and showing my talent in paper and in work performance but nothing is noticed. I have also just shaken off a relationship that I’ve now learned I’ve been breadcrumbing from for more than a decade. Like you I tried to be martyr for the longest time, but now I just see the intention of the other person plain as day and in black and white and emotion has gone. I’ve don’t personal development and went through hardest heartache and healing for the last 3 years and now I think I’m becoming and probably have been accepting of what happened and most of days I feel I have forgiven everyone and has out everything behind me. I feel I’m starting to show by believing I deserve better . I’m not easily guilt tripped into doing anything or helping anyone. If I don’t feel Like it I say no now. And it’s showing even physically People I know for a long say I’m blossoming which is funny as I’m getting older , I lost some weight it seems without much effort. I just feel more deserving. Your advise couldn’t have come in a better timing. I’m still doubting if I take this new challenge but every time I listened to your videos my decision is becoming more and more sure. Typical INFJ , very indecisive and takes a long time discerning over something especially when it’s very important. I’ve got about 4 months before I finally hand in my notice and you’re helping me show that this path is where I need to follow. And true I have given my new job a meaning . It’ll be a legacy of my career and at the same time propping up a woman who’s equally fighting to come up in this cut throat of men dominated field. So thank you 🙏🏽. You prop many of us Wenzes!!

Love you, Wenzes! Thank you for all the good work you do! :)

Thank you! This will help my situation. This was a real game changer!

In relationships I still catch myself wanting to do more do deserve, but when I do take action it does make a difference. I have made a few deeper connections because of it and on the flip side I've had a few more INFJ door slams because I just am done. I am not angry but I do deserve better. I've started a business and have been trying to keep it on the upside (mind game over) and it's been good. Doing better than I thought I would initially and I'm continuing to grow and move.

I want to see you WIN 🥇

Hi wenzes. Please do INFJ and sensitivity🧡

Thank you wenzes* watching this with high fever. Really needed it. I know one thing, we are pushed by the universe lot if times to take that damn ACTION. Let's take that first step

She’s really good!

I always thought I'm a visionary until recently I discovered I’m actually more of a pioneer. Now I realized it's probably because of my personality type. Is that what you're talking about? And on the other hand, I always loved learning new things and got really quick quite deep into a topic until I reached a level where I would say I was able to talk with experts in that area. After reaching this point I usually lost interest in this topic which made my corporate career quite difficult. Without the interest in a topic, it’s really hard for me to stay on track with it. I think that are also the things you referring to as typical INFJ attributes in the video… Thank you so much!!!

In this video it felt like you were talking directly with me, hitting everything exactly on the head 🫣 Thank you so much! This video has moved me to take action today, because I finally understood what I was doing wrong. Way too much inner-work and self improvement, and not enough action. I didn’t know what action to take if I feel I am not enough. It’s on me to recognise my own value and ACT ACCORDINGLY. 🤯

Thank you you are very sincere

Wow - I'm showing up here a little late - just had an explosion on a friend of 10 years that had been building. I've tried so hard to keep suppressing and accepting (and avoiding her) - it just blew and now I feel so much better. i stole back all the energy she stole from me for years. I feel alive. She doesn't but I've finally gotten this and will change the game. We aren't going to be friends anymore but I don't have any negative feelings about it. I need to walk away sooner. I've spent so many years hating this trait of mine and trying to change it. Of course, then self loathing and the anger builds. Instead of that now - I see, she crossed boundaries I have about decency and not using people and that money should be earned, not taken in a divorce. If you aren't going to work on your issues, don't expect me to excuse it. Instead, call me if you ever want to change. I don't need to hate myself anymore - I'm not broken!! These are my God given traits - these are in me for a reason and I don't have to know what that is but ultimately it is for my good.

Good job, A+. Excellent.....

I found this video & your channel this morning. (Or rather the algorithm presented this video to me.) the messages in this video are what I’ve been trying to do by myself. It’s totally the taking action bit I struggle with. You’ve said out loud here what a voice in my head has been trying to get me to do/believe and I’ve just been going, Errrrrr, yeah ok but I dunno, I could just keep trying… I can see that life would probably fully transform/change if I did. I look forward to watching more of your videos

Psychological transmutation and the process of transmuting your thoughts to improve, purify, perfect, and expand your mind and, ultimately, your life is a game 🎯 changer itself.

😂 you speak my mind so much bluntly... 16:57 Im sad that the world have no idea about their type and dont explore it this deep... what a waste of human knowledge... i think it should be taught to all in school...

I’m on an absolute binge of your videos and learning so so much! I am so grateful I stumbled across your channel. I feel like you’re giving us free therapy. Thank you so much wise and lovely lady!

Wow I feel SO seen by this entire video 💔😭😭 thank you so much!! I am super aware of the ability to “rewrite the narrative” but I wondered why this was still so deeply engrained in me. The desperate need to prove and try harder in order to be seen instead of validating myself and finding people who reflect my own sense of self-worth! I’ve been feeling a huge shift coming this week - this video is magic icing on the cake🔥🔥

Nice video. I've been watching some of your videos lately, taking things I like and dismissing things I don't. I hope you don't mind. I also hope you don't mind a tiny critique: sometimes people don't hold onto their anger enough. Sometimes they're afraid of it. In those individuals, they need to be free to express that anger along with being guided into expressing it constructively. Like in art, music, poetry, and dare I say it, therapy.

Thank you Wenzes, you definitely get it

...a green wifebeater on an infj woman?!... very fitting... Thank you for the helpful introspections and... honestly--- validations Shalom 🙏

Good morning Wenzes! I was actually able to catch one of your videos on time today. 🤣 Great video! And yes, I have, lots of times. More in the last few years since really finding myself again, and learning more about myself as an INFJ, thanks to you. 🙂👍🏼 Hope you’re having an awesome day! 🙂🌹

You are speaking pure fire FACTS! 💯

Thanks for all you're videos. It's helped me so much in my life! I've changed a lot thanks to you.

I am a 22-year-old male, INFJ. I have a good understanding of myself. I was delt some rough cards which predisposed me to the elements at a young age which is probably why I'm able to perceive and empathies like an INFJ. I suffered from a huge tragedy when my family perished in a house fire when I was only eleven years old. I carried the burden to help the men bury my family. Later, during my adolescences I was subject to domestic violence from my stepfather which caused me to go through several social withdrawals which probably contributed to my introvertness but, my heart persevered through adversity. So, yeah. I'm quite tapped into reality which probably influences my feelings and understanding of individuals. But, it also probably contributes to my tight vault and inability to open up to others. Not gonna lie, it's not easy being an INFJ male because my personality doesn't align with the standard blueprint of typical male personalities. INFJ's are misunderstood as it is but, being a male INFJ is just another thing because I'm masculine, but I'm also reserved, modest and socially ambiguous which people see me as.... ''odd''. So, guys being guys will just bash the quite one in the room. Like, I'm fine with being odd but, it's the rudeness and trolling I have to deal with in the workplace that just ticks me off. They're lucky I'm classy enough to not acknowledge their shade. Cause you know us INFJ'S can slowly burn anyone psychologically if they choose to mess with us.

When I first started watching you Wenzes, you had about 75K subscribers. Congrats and keep up the beautiful work by continuing to provide helpful information for an INFJ to navigate this crazy reality.

You are the only person I’ve seen explain things without specifics like I do and it’s so so refreshing. You speak in such a zoomed out (or perhaps hyper zoomed in?) perspective with vague examples. When I do this, those I’m speaking to tend to not understand my point. I love your videos, thank you!

Woow. This is so true for me. And explains a lot!! I'm so glad I've found your channel!!!!!

Thank you Wenzes! Great communicator.

wow, your last two videos were really great. thank you for your work

I just found this channel hours ago.. and you literally change my life (mentally) in a span of short time. Thank you so much!

I'm good enough and I have nothing to prove to them yes I did change my game

Thank you for sharing dear! ❤️

We are able to heal and transform it. Wow, how would I act if I (knew) I was enough? Making our inner work applicable to our outward life change is possible! Lets take the steps.

"Don't hate the player, change the game" I don't see a lot of Google results for that one.

Wenzes, you are awsome! Thank You!

...a SIGMA INFJ...I AM THAT I AM all day everyday baby... here's the thing...my brain is a SUPER COMPUTER that operates on CODES of entry... only those tapping my right buttons gain entry...INFJ personality types are humble GENIUSES... fearlessly AUTHENTIC... "do NOT hate the player, change the game" hahahaha...👑😎💫

I remember sometime ago in my class, we had a magzine competition, I had contributed my art and it was rejected. Guess what happened next? I participated in a competition for art and won a trophy. It was amazing

Everything you said is true

This was a great video! 😇

I love your videos!!!!. Such an inspiration. They are a wake up call. Recently I got to that point where I don't want to work harder to prove anybody they are wrong. I know my worth. Thank you for a great content. ❤️❤️❤️

Your videos are so so grounding and calming. I absolutely love everything you say and do. You're seriously my biggest role model in life. Thank you so much for all of your videos

Yes it sure is a pattern. Thanks

I’m not the martyr! 🙋🏻‍♀️😭🌟

Annoying people can bypass me anytime.

Sorry to get off topic but I just ❤️ your accent.

I am not quite sure why we need to live epic lives. I had the goal of trying to lead my life quietly under the radar.

Damn Wenzes you're good. Also I love the comparisons to the ISTJ and INTJ, you really point out the fundamental differences in a way that makes total sence. Also when I look back (new complicated job) where I was confident and stopped doubting myself for the first times in many fields, I actually was convinced of the scenario of 'I'm good enough'. You just put it in words for me which is great and veryy usefull. Keep it up!

And external validation from our family and friends

I love your content. I'm starting to see myself come alive.

Sneeches without stars upon thars had the same problem. Those with a star were snobs having fun marshmallow roasts while those without a star just sat around wishing they had one. The game changer-- make your own fun with people you like and who like you-- not because of a f-ing star but because of who you are

So you change the game, and it gets to that point where it is like,... awkward 😑 so it is difficult,... 😏 but sometimes I say what i mean and people turn it into a joke,... and then it's like 🤔 hmmmmm

You can't change other peoples cruelty by being better, kinder, etc.

Thanks

How the hell do you even know these things? BTW. You are the first woman I have ever subscribed to in 14 years since I started using youtube. ❤🎉😂

I can change my life over night if i want to.