5 Signs You're A Codependent Person 

Live Abuse Free happy Holidays and enjoy the sun ☀️ thank you for your enlightening gifts of clarity on topics I needed to learn about and make peace with !!!!!!

Can codependency and healthy interdependence co-mingle? I tend toward long-term relationships with gentle ppl who tend toward narcissism and I love to caregive. I see it as a replacement for not having children, but I see my life as relatively healthy. You can keep someone low on the spectrum in check if there is enough mutual respect. I do see the potential for abuse without strong , and sometimes exhausting boundary setting. It's been an educational and wonderful year on your channel. Thanks you.

Such a good question to stop and ask oneself.

@@bucklesmagee3806 As long as you are aware of your codependency, you can be more in control of it. If it's a choice you are happy to make then that's fine. And if that other person treats you respectfully and adheres to your boundaries then it sounds like it isn't unhealthy anyway.

psi drop - an otherwise thoughtful and insightful post was, for me, obliterated by one phrase...”keep someone in check” ...to paraphrase

V te 5ooo

Oooollllóooooo

The Lord bless you!

You nailed it. I work for a large health care system. Was working 60 hour weeks! While the bosses pretended to care out "burn out". I am very slowly trying to out myself first.

@@lucretiz I hear about working long hours now and then when I phone with a friend who's disabled and needs help from caregivers 3 times a day. Younger people often quit their job after a short period of time. Some people who work there for many years get sick themselves, because they just give too generously and can hardly say NO. The Canadian physician Dr Gabor Maté said: "If you don't know how to say no, your body will say it for you through physical illnesses."

@@franklooking4light851 I love Dr. Mate I often remind my family what he says, "The body keeps the score." Chilling and accurate." I am recovering from PMDD and life threatening food allergies from a trauma background.

I was in a job like that till it caused 2 hospitalizations and then I realised it was slowly killing me. I left and have less money but now I have a healthier mind set, more time for family, I am getting healthier physically and I am relieved that I didn't take my life and leave my kids without a mom. No employment is worth that.

One way is to keep asking yourself what you're trying to get from someone else, the more conscious you are of it the better.

@@LiveAbuseFree yes! This is so hard. Understanding my role has been honestly quite liberating. It gives me something to work on and understand. I can be in control of myself. This video was really great and helpful as always. Thank you. I am also reading a lot about attachment theory and the book Attached has been illuminating. Highly recommend if you have not already read it.

@@MyfanwyCollins I haven't read that book but attachment theory is very relevant to codependency for sure! I'm really glad it's been liberating.

May I ask how she reacted? I always have terrible reactions from people when I try to establish boundaries.

@@cee-emm That might be because you are afraid to set them and leave it later than you needed to maybe? When people already have the impression that you don't have boundaries they can (wrongly of course) get frustrated when you suddenly have them.

@@LiveAbuseFree You're absolutely right. I'm terribly uncomfortable establishing boundaries; and the people I'm dealing with are not used to being told "no", or generally controlling. I'm not a confrontational person or an extrovert, but I have become more comfortable with myself, especially since having kids. My kids made me brave(er) lol. I cannot allow myself to set the example of being a pushover, for their sakes. But I've had to pay for it! My husband's aunt didn't speak to me for an entire year after I would not allow her to throw my son's first birthday party, and when she wanted to reconnect I wouldn't until she apologized. First attempt was a non-apology ("I'm sorry YOU felt that way") and I got her to finally properly apologize. Baby steps. Sorry for rambling so much. Your videos help me a lot.

@@cee-emm At 47 I politely said to my mother that I would prefer if she didn't let herself in to my house and I clarified that she had keys incase my children got locked out. She had dropped off stuff and put it, of all places, on my BED! I thought that was so obviously inappropriate that she would get it when I raised it. But I was wrong. She raised herself up to her full martyred height. Cast me in the role of ingrate and abuser. It took a lot for me to resist that urge to go back to her and apologise for having upset her. I googled sitting with the discomfort and realised that if you can do that, that's you changing. Don't buckle. If you feel that the the only way to get rid of that excruciatingly awkward feeling is to go and apologise to her then that's you needing her forgiveness and staying the same. Sit with the discomfort and that's you changing. So maintain a boundary and then sit with the unsettling discomfort of her reaction. I feel there has been a slight shift in the dynamic between my Mother and me. I don't think she identifies with being manipulative and yet, there has been less manipulative martyrdom since I took a stand and withdrew.

@@SusanaXpeace2u Thank you so much for your response. I will remember that.

Thank you, I'm going to practice this!

this is what changed my thinking about my last relationship. I was majorly unhappy, always worrying and going over things in my head, but I also played an unhealthy part in it all, I would lash out and defend myself in unhealthy ways. It took me 10 years to ask myself: "what do i want?" only then did i understand how frustrated I was and how often i had let my boundaries be overstepped. I had turned into someone I didn't like and it took me a very long time to take responsibilty for my happiness but also my unhealthy and damaging behaviour in the relationship.

@@a.higginbottom Wow, I could have written that exact same comment O.O

Thanks for your support under every video Christina! 💕 I hope you had a lovely Christmas x

Christina Kav50 - I have been with Zoe from the beginning too - when she began talking about the Chris Watts murders. I just loved listening to everything she had to say and I have learned so much as well! I think the Watts murders brought a lot of us together, it was just so devastating and unbelievable and I think we all needed to come together to gain some understanding from that tragedy. I don’t think there has been another case in a very long time that has brought SO many people together. I’m so glad we have this channel to come to!

@@kikismama Aw! I'm so glad you come here! 🤗

Or relationships your in now

Thank you!! 😊 Happy holidays to you too Colleen!

Thanks so much for all of your very sweet comments!🤗💕 'Fresh qualified air', never heard that before, it made me laugh! 😂

Live Abuse Free I have my own dictionary , my family told me 😂😂😂😂😂😂 So many are full of toxic air blowing in my face !!!! 😂😂😂

Thanks Elisa! 😊

Wow! Thank goodness you got yourself out of that relationship! thank you for sharing 🤗❤️

Thanks Susan! I'm really glad you have, happy holidays to you as well! 😊

Thank you! 🤗

Thanks! Merry Christmas to you! 😊🎄

Thank you Gillian! I hope you had a lovely Christmas! 😊

Aw! 🎄Happy Christmas! 💜

Live Abuse Free to you and yours as well.

oh thank you so much! 😊

Thank you! 😊😀

❤️🤗

👌 💜

Thank you! 🙏 😊