1) His Plans 2) How does he feel about himself? 3) What he wants from you 4) Is he available, incl emotionally... 5) Is he a leader or a follower - does he have structure or discipline?
I made multiple mistakes. 1: Not asking what is his intentions? Once I am told, learn to sit back and watch. 2: Once I am shown or any answers are given, move accordingly. 3: Whatever I overlooked that I didn't like, was the very thing that ended the relationship. 4: Stop settling.
This is some serious wisdom here. Ladies take heed. A man telling us straight up what it looks like when you look a lil bit deeper. I’m grateful not only did my spirit ask these questions but we knew to talk about these things.
My mistake was listening to my parents who I trusted blindly. I had an arranged marriage which has now ended. The red flags were always there but my mother was fixated on me getting married. So the lesson for me is to never be swayed by another again. Your list is a good starting point - thank you! Kirk, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on arranged marriage/control type situations where it's other people, like parents, clouding your judgement. My mother lowered my standards. I know I have a lot of unlearning to do. Am sure there are people similar to me who would benefit from such a video.
My mother tried that with me at 25, and I wasn't attracted to my husband that she wanted me to marry and I did. I never lived with him because I've always been stubborn. After two years, we divorced. Never ever ever will somebody tell me who to be with.
I think its a smart path to choose a man based on their values, moral character, and actions....often we make the mistake of getting caught up in how a man looks, what he says, we trust without knowing his true self.... I think how he looks on the inside is far more important. God judges a man not by his exterior, but by his heart. We should measure a man the same way and allow that to be the main measure. What should be the most attractive thing, should be his heart.
I didn't realise his big ambitious plans was just for himself. The unvailable part is just what i got so far with too many long distance situationships. Too present for everyone but for myself that was the grande wisedom to grasp from my personal life i guess 😂😂😂 I also realize that in my 40's it is a no no to embark on somebody's plans, being somebody's helper, cheerleader or even investor just to prove to prove yourself your own values. Get your own plans woman!❤❤❤ Thank you, your post kept popping on my feed, took time to click on it, but it definitely sank in. Gratitude 😊
Where I went wrong is dating the man’s potential for WAYYYY too long. I also went WRONG thinking that my prayers would essentially change the men. Jesus gives us free will to believe, or not to believe. I had to learn that every man that I encountered (dated) etc was not meant to be my husband. 🥴
I follow you as a student of psychology and think youre doing a very honorable thing with your platform. You are truely needed by our people. Thank you for your confirmations in direction. Youre great!!
So the notes I took yielded 7 questions to ask: 1. Where are you going and how are you getting there? 2. How do you feel about yourself? 3. What do you want and expect from a partner? 4. Are you mentally and spiritually available for and open to a relationship? 5. Can you and will you make time to be in a relationship? 6. Are you disciplined? 7. Are you a leader or a follower? And before you ask anyone these questions, you need to ask YOURSELF these questions first!😅
I would like to add watch what he does. Does it align with what he says. If he is wearing a mask, it will fall off in a few months. If he cries at the drop of a hat with or without tears, RUN!!!
Damn I just experienced a crier, the man would cry so fast sometimes tears. Other times just the action and noise.. When we broke up he violently attacked me at my job.
Saving this in my Relationship Words of Wisdom folder ! Edit- a good thing I did was organised an art painting afternoon on my deck. Me and him painting whatever on A3 paper. I painted colourful abstract and he painted a solitary faceless man floating alone in the ocean. It was a good painting. But the subject revealed so much. After a bit of discussion, he was emotionally unavailable and weighed down with heavy past relationship burdens that he was keeping from me. And he was adamant he wasn’t going to share any of them with me. Really ? Yes really. Ok. Bye. I don’t know if every man will be up for painting but accessing the non verbal communication was a profound and revealing experience.
My ex husband was emotionally unavailable. Never held a conversation, always gone, always cheated. I talk too much about myself, that's what im going to stop doing. I like having a wholesome relationship if i can find one. He was disciplined, never missed a day of work, paid bills, but still didn't want to talk to you. He's deceased now at 60, sad but i did love him. He had deep issues.
GREAT pointers!! I can admit, I saw the signs. Childhood issues that he just didn't want to discuss & put a bandage on them. Ole' enough to know BETTER, but NOT WISE enough to cha ge his mindset. I had to be rejected because I DONT give in. But in the end, his rejection was The Devine's PROTECTION for me. Now I apply ALL these pointers you gave b4 even ENTERTAINING the thought of a relationship. I know my WORTH, but he MUST know his!! And where he want this UNION to go -- ELEVATION!
Where is he going? How does he look at himself? What he expects from you. Intentions with dating you. Is he available, not just single. Is he a leader or a follower. Is he logical and disciplined .
5 points you need to find out before dating 1. Where is he going? 2. How does he see himself? 3. What does he want from you? 4. Is he physically & mentally available? 5. Is he a leader or a follower?
from attracting so many unavailable men and even seeking them out myself,, I should have realized that I too am unavailable. This is something I am working on changing. Thank you for the wisdom, it is greatly appreciated !!
THANK YOU 🙏🏾 SO MUCH FOR THOSE 5 questions, will Be meeting with a gentleman in a few days and those questions will be ask of him and will let you know how it went , thank you so much for this advice
This are very true facts even tho I have failed to ask some of these questions before and boy I look on now and wished I did but I learned because of you don't you don't know what your heading to do now I asked questions before I always thought the guy would tell you but learned some won't and another thing to ask is if they like children or have children because someone who doesn't have children might want children and if you can't have children then your feelings are hurt especially when you like them alot and they tell oh we can't date because I want children and you can't have children anymore so your right ask questions before dating
The way you express what to look for in a man is so better revealed to really understanding. What is this man about? Where is he? What what is he want to do? Where is he trying to get to and can he take you with him? Can you build something together thank you so much God I know you’re Scorpio.
When I cared for my mom, I knew I would be unavailable to date. I decided to give my ex a chance because he was a semi caregiver, he had help. I made the mistake of knowing I needed to come first in a relationship but settled for part time anyway. When the person died he had to move out of their house and moved in with me. He threw himself into working everyday and just sleeping when he had time off. Neglected again. He moved out of my place. We are hardly friends, now . SMH.
Movie was so touching. Beautiful ending. Epitome of love and transformation❤. Really proud of Chicago acting as well! You each did us proud. Richard Gallion Jr. did an amazing job as well. I enjoyed this 1 Chris❤!
I asked several questions: whether his heart was taken by another or attached to another or loves another in an intimate way? Whether anyone had claims on his heart? He lied about it. So a person has to do more than ask if they are interested!
You cant ask these questions directly like a detective. It took me observing my man over time to realize he wasnt a leader, but a man who was egotistical and felt entitled. An arrogant Beta Simp. So i dumped him immediately.
If a man doesn't honor God the one who sustain him daily than he will lead you to a life of chaos and eventually eternal destruction. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
The more I learn about Men, Majority of them don’t like/Love themselves and we can’t teach them, all we can do is show him what’s inside of him. ❤️🩹🙏🏽 It’s very sad, The state of mankind. 😢😢😢 It seems like endless WUK!!!🥵😩😭🤔
The more I learn about Men, Majority of them don’t like/Love themselves and we can’t teach them, all we can do is show him what’s inside of him. ❤️🩹🙏🏽 It’s very sad, The state of mankind. 😢😢😢
