6 MISTAKES That Expose The Narcissist's Game 

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They get so angry if you catch them out on their sneaky behaviour. He blamed me for disrespecting him by going behind his back to find information he hid from me 😂so at the end of it, I was the bad guy who didn’t respect his privacy 😂

They always end up losing. Their life is a tragedy of their own making.

Its amazing how they try to make you weak to feel stronger so that they can succeed in controlling you. It feels empowering when you finally realize that your empathy & intuition alone was stronger than their entire being the whole time.

After over 20 years of marriage to a malignant narcissist I was discarded after I hurt my back at work and had to file for disability. It was all pre planned by her but I didn’t see it coming. I did survive thanks to the support of family and friends. My life is in a better place now, so hang in there and have faith that things will get better if you believe in yourself. Through out it all I ignored the negative including her smear campaign. I chose to be grateful for the good times even if they only mattered to me. Don’t be bitter, don’t be a quitter and you’ll rise like a Phoenix from the ashes and end up with more blessings than you can count.

“The grass is only greener where you water it.” Thank you!!

Underestimating me… Took me to court to throw me out of the house on DV charge. I presented judge with recordings of HER DV on ME. I won. She told everyone that I “fooled” the judge. She moved out of home that she tried to throw me out of. Divorce almost over. Stay strong everyone.

One thing I’ve noticed in narcissistic friendships is that they will completely betray you, use you and disregard you; and then come back later when it suits them; acting all “easy breezy” like nothing happened. They don’t even acknowledge their past actions and expect you not to either. The last time this happened I actually told them that I don’t live in their world of make believe so they shouldn’t expect me to play along. They never came back.

They are so over confident, they’ll even be telling you “I got this” 😂😂😂 while they know absolutely nothing about that particular thing

You are right, they tell on themselves - My ex-girlfriend, out of the blue, told me her best friend sleeps around behind her boyfriend's back. I asked her, "Why would she do that to him, he is a good guy, and he loves her? She said with a wicked grin on her face, "Just because she can" I remained stoic, but inside, I was shocked because her grin revealed she thought her best friend deceiving and cheating on her boyfriend without getting caught was some sort of game or accomplishment. I asked her calmly, "Since we've been together, have you slept with any other guy besides me"? She said, "I've only slept with other people when I felt lonely" I then said, "So you've cheated on me" She then denied saying it by saying, "I never said that." This made me think I was going crazy, and maybe I was imagining things, so I remained silent. She had done this sort of many times. At the time, I knew nothing of the terms gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing, narcissism or going hot to cold and being distant was a game they played to erode your confidence and self-esteem to gain dominance, power and control; I just had not come across the words nor imagined women could be serial cheaters or be evil - I was brought up believing women were the fairer sex.

If you find yourself asking if she's a narcissist you've already answered your own question - break it off before she does; cut your losses and keep your self-respect.

I caught onto the games, (married for 7 years with two kids at this point so I really wanted to keep my family intact). But I also observed her not coming home after work, not wanting to be home on the weekends and sneaky behaviour. She also dropped triangulating hints, to try and make me jealous. I suggested marriage counselling, she refused, I discussed my side of the situation with a therapist and my family and realized exactly what I was dealing with and formed an action plan. This is one of the hardest experiences a person can go through, I ended up being extremely lucky in my situation. You need to create distance between yourself and this toxic person, close family and friends who are on your side are crucial.

I got to watch the mask fall, and it was glorious! Best part is, I got to make it happen TO THEIR FACE. And when they tried to use guilt and word salad to distract me, I looked them in the eyes and calmly said,".....What does that have to do with what we're talking about??" They were so cornered, all they could do was cry

In the entire 4 years together, I never once called him a derogatory name. I seriously raised my voice maybe 10 times. If my voice had any sound that sounded serious, he would tell me I was abusive. Absolutely ridiculous. He would then let me know that he almost decided to never see or talk to me again because of it. Welp, after years of his lies, manipulation, gaslighting, emotional abuse, ghosting, neglect, ect I gave him his wish and went no contact out of nowhere. He did not see it coming.

I'm beyond confused and feel like I have been through the absolute best plot twist ever! I'm also heartbroken, sad, mad, ANGRY, HURT, AND VENGEFUL! Whatever this woman in the flesh is or was is also repulsive. To take one's heart and vulnerability and weaponize it in return is about as sick as one can get . Never wrong, the victim mentality, the envy and endless pity party. So great, but always got the short end in everything. Zero accountability, and the completeb lie. Like everything was a lie. They are one huge lie. Did I mention the obvious insecurity that comes with it. That's also a great way to get some good narcissitc supply from a guy who is also a gentleman and real . I think it's fair to say that most men are naturally going to want to be supportive and tell a woman they love that they are beautiful. Especially if they mean it. Ughhhh. The good news is that pain is the touchstone to change. I am going to lick my wounds and move ahead. I wish I could make the fake person I was in love with dissappear out of me. It's the hurt and anger that I want to be washed of as quickly and healthy as I can. I know what to look for now and will do my best to never fall for that again. The flags are there if you look back. I'm also not going to let her wreck me when it comes to other people. I'm not going to fall to that level of nonsense. I'm not going to let her win by having any effect on what's possible when you have a human with a soul.

Got to say - you said it very well - they don’t think or see that you haf to work for things in life. They think they’re entitled to everything & that’s why they end up with nothing & still blame everyone else for their failures & poor choices along the way.

Yes they totally lose it and freak out when they realize everyone knows who they are😊

I think they have alters, like multiple personalities 😮 One loves you Another hates you Another is indifferent.😮

It's not IF things go badly for the narcissist. it's WHEN.

She reappeard in my life after a difficult break up with her boyfriend and without friends. I felt pity for her and let her in my inner circle. What she did? She lied continuously to them about me and tried to monopolize their friendship. Now, with the one of them, we are no longer friends. The second one (a childhood friend of mine) is a flying monkey of her. Only my female friend believed me because she saw the red flags way before me. It was so difficult to comprehend what was happening that i started therapy. That and watching your videos helped me understand, and accept things.

My covert narcissistic and I have been friends for almost a decade. I’ve been in love with her for as long but I always respected her marriage and never crossed lines and kept us plutonic. Last year she got divorced. When I found out I shot my shot. She has always known how I felt but because she was too soon out of marriage we agreed to not be exclusive. Of course she love bombed me, but pushed me away. It was at this point I suspected she was covert as I reassured her that I only wanted exclusive and long term, but most important realized I was not controllable. She started up with a new supply and tried to gaslight and manipulate me but I confronted her while they were together. It was obvious she was caught off guard so she went silent treatment since late last year. She has been telling mutual friends and flying monkeys that she is teaching her best friend a lesson but we both know the real truth. Your videos are on point and just the resource I needed to hear as I’m guarded about talking with people. Emotionally I am fine as I have dealt with a sociopathic narcissist before. This woman that I fell in love with was my first covert and though she is not near as dangerous as a overt, it still hurts that I have to take such precautions with someone I am in love with. Will always love her, I just understand that does not mean they are good for you or should even qualify to be with you.

One of the flying flunkey/narcissists actually told me I shouldn’t study narcissism because it was new agey to do so. 🤣😆They HATE a lot of things and a lot of people but they really hate it when you procure their playbook. Game over.

Thank you so much for this awareness. I was married to a narcissist person and he treated like a garbage before discarding me.

My ex gave it away early by telling me that love is just a game.

Who else has heard the “if you don’t know me by now” gaslighting phrase? My ex gave me this one when he was caught online dating.

I've heard it referred to as low-level, non-neurotic paranoia. LIke it's always playing in the back of their head and it's what they filter everything you say with. If they can read criticism, no matter how far-fetched, into what you say then you will get verbally attacked in one form or another. I can personally attest to this and have even had a few situations happen where, even before I said something, I said to myself, "let's see how this plays out." And, sure enough an innocent question is treated like I just accused them of being the worst person on the planet. Also, they are long-term schemers that will hit you out-of-nowhere with a made-up accusation to get even with you for a perceived slight, sometimes days later. This is some twisted thinking.

I have just been through an extremely tumultuous experience with a man who displayed every sign highlighted in this video. I noticed at the beginning how strange it was that he'd send me pictures of himself standing on podiums after he'd won motorcycle races, etc. His need for me to SEE him was bizarre. I felt uneasy throughout my time with him until, a few nights ago, before a very big race he's about to compete in, he wanted to see me. I was not able to meet with him and he texted me saying that it's obvious I was going to cause him more depression than happiness, that now he "gets to drive 12 hrs feeling rejected" and that he doesn't deserve this. Then he unfriended me on FB. I had adult baby with zero impulse control on my hands who has now set me up to take the fall if he does poorly in the race. I feel anxious about the outcome but I'd be going crazy right now without channels like this teaching me that these people exist and how to deal with them. Thank you for your invaluable advice.

Yup...my ex always had foot out door and always wanted the grass down the street. I feel so dumb. ❤ to all abuse victims.

My sister absolutely needs me in particular. That's why she stalked me incessantly for 15 years after I went full no-contact, and still occasionally does so. She's a violent malignant narcissist. I'm gathering that by now she can't get any friends at all - she ends up abusing everyone that gets near her - often physically

Being nice and caring to a narcissist is like giving them a green light to use you. This happened to me. Over time she mistook my kindness for weakness. Big mistake. Sometimes it is better to just walk away. Unless you enjoy being under someones foot. It leaves them in disbelief that you had that kind of strength. It certainly felt freeing for me in every way.

She did a good job of making sure I didn't matter! I miss her but I guess it's better than being hit, having objects thrown at me, or watching her hit herself. The recordings I have help me to remember how abusive she was.

H first wife lost her cancer battle. When my turn came, stage 4 with less than a year, his response was he’d done this once and hadn’t signed up for another. God, through my surgeons, was very gracious. I am now cancer free, but way wiser. I know he will never have my back and I’ve planned accordingly. The mask will always drop. Believe it when you see it…truth.

Thank you for this video Christina. I finally woke up to what was happening to me when I found video's just like yours. After 37years I finally left my narcisstic husband 4months ago. I have been through everything that you describe, especially the triangulation with his friends and family and making me feel not good enough. I even thought to myself after I left that he just overplayed his hand, he was way too self entitled and over confident and he very much underestimated me. It has totally blown him away that I had the strength to walk away from him. He treated me like a doormat for years. Someone to wipe his feet on as he comes and goes out of the house everyday. He never thought I'd get up again after he had nearly destroyed me and my self esteem. Now he's telling everyone that I have lost my mind and gone crazy. The truth is that I have never felt better since I left him.

Just "escaped my 2 narcassist roommates. They started out sweet as sugar. Gradually it turned into a nightmare . This video nails it! Thank you.

A pretty girl once invited me over to her place for a sleep over. Which wasn’t as fun as she made it out to be. Then she distracted me while her other boyfriend stole my dog. So I gathered the evidence and made a documentary about it. It comes out soon. I can’t wait haha

My Dr is a covert, and incompetent. For years I have complained about abdominal pain, and he constantly accuses me of lying. A day after a half assed physical exam, where he once again said I was making it up, I was in the ER, blood tests and CT shows gall stones. Now he's facing the medical board

My ex-wife was a master at triangulating always comparing me to other mens. Very painful and devastating on my self worth.

The narcissist I was involved with would blow sky high if I exposed his "You owe me" claims as BS. I remember one time when I did that, he flew into a rage and beat me with the TV remote, breaking it and putting welts all over my back as he yelled at me to shut up. He later demanded I buy him a new remote because I owed him for making him break it. Thank goodness I got away from that nutcase!

I hated to do this, because it’s just not me, but after berating me, my family, my deceased partners family, I had to go no contact. I didn’t realize how manipulative this individual was until I went no contact and eight weeks have gone by and I’m just starting to see things clearer and clearer. My health is actually getting better because yes, the anxiety and stress and turmoil that was always associated with this individual manifested in me.

You set a boundary they look for a replacement

“ you got it all wrong! You know me! I’m not like that!” Is all that I hear back….which of course with that defensive that gave them all away being caught right out!

FACTSSSSSS AND SUPER TRUE!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MY NARC THERAPY TODAU

Hi Christina. Im so terrified. Im the victim of a horrible abuser. My own mother. I'm 44 years old now and after watching your vids for the last month I have made a horrible discovery. I'm a borderline narcissist. Thanks mom. I dont know what to do and I cant afford your sessions. Im not asking for an answer, but I'm venting. I realised a few days ago Im abusing my wife the way my mother abused me. It's depressing and I dont know what to do. Thanks for reading this

My older sister is a narc, which I kinda only managed to piece together years after she has moved out and I had some time free from her to develop and learn on my own. I started to noticed that she really, *really* liked to pose herself as an expert in all and everything about and to everyone, while also getting the most basic of basic concepts wrong about those same things. I started to lose my respect from her when she terrorized me and my parents about we are doing our diets and exercises wrong (my dad has btw. diabetes type 2 which kinda strongly affects how weight gaining and loosing works for him), with her own reasoning being "I want to have a six pack". she really lost any sympathy I would've otherwise have had left for her, whenever she claimed to be just caring about me and what I do with my life while also at the same time either ignoring or outright ridiculing my interests, making extremely and poorly hidden transphobic remarks and accusations about my online friends (I myself am not trans, but have had before that moment still naively come out as aromantic to her, only to the later recognize that she just without further thought brought it up with my mom without first checking if I was okay with that, but thankfully I had come out to my mom directly before visiting my sister for that occasion). oh, and she also wanted to urge me to get into a psychiatric ward to get myself "fixed", after I wanted to leave her place because she started to make a huge blow and unnecessary escalation of things when I wanted to make establish some firm boundaries and defend those same ones. She actually had the gall to afterwards say "I don't know why we always end up fighting every time we talk! but please, let us stay sisters despite all our differences!" of course she probably meant it more like "please change everything about yourself for me and me alone while I don't have to do a thing about it at all!" and just so many more things and occasions that whenever I think about those in hindsight, that they really (context for the next part: I am still living with my parents due to financial reasons as in not being able to afford a home yet without putting either me or my parents into financial jeopardy) Ended up blowing up in her own face when after she had *already* invited herself to a trip to our new home beforehand, doing nothing about helping out with the move part, then later on coming over for a visit for the christmas holidays again with her newly found bf, complaining about having have had been "forced" to help along with the move work (it was moving hay into a shelter for 2 horses and afterwards helping dig out the rented transporter that same hay was in, the later bit she only ended up helping out with at all, because I went to her and told her to get her own ass up and help mum and dad finally out if she doens't even bother to check up on why things are taking so long, and yep she started a rage fuss full of accusations, emotional blackmail and all that, with me about that, but I just genuinely didn't care anymore at that point) and then *finally on top everything* started to just laughing out behind my dad's back once we heard the news that my grandma, his mother, has died. and sister blew up at my mum for daring to scold her for that insensitive thing, and also of course needlessly started to just insult, guilt trip and all of the other stuff that may happen with narcissistic rage. she also just stormed off the next day with her bf without even saying goodbye My parents have had been done with her already while trying to organize the move, but that occasion was for sure the last straw. weirdly enough my parents advice about just ignoring my sister and not taking her seriously at all, whenever I told them about my suspicions before the move, ended up with her herself fully exposing herself and going unmasked during the move, because not even I was biting her bait. I guess before it was just... desperate hope on my parents part that had not raised my sister to be the way she turned out to be... I've had already buried the person she never was in the first place in my mind. Frankly, she can stay buried there.

My co-worker is this way. I wasn’t standing up for myself but finally “fought back” by addressing the issues and going to my boss. Still in the midst of it, but currently she’s ignoring me which is fine by me. I don’t think people can truly see how evil it all is. Everything I do is wrong and everything she does is right. I hope she falls on her own words.

My ex told me he wanted my soul, when I said, "what, that sounds demonic " he said "how does wanting to make love to your soul sound demonic" ...a red flag I clearly ignored.

You are so so spot on. Recently got out of my first narcissistic relationship and was shocked to my core. Signs were all aligned with what you said. For example, he told me about this girl who he never got to meet in person due to him accidentally exposing himself sleeping with another woman at the same time and the poor girl blocking him after. He idealized this girl and thought she was "the one who got away". But at the same time exhibited no actual guilt about what he did - instead, he STILL wants to get her back after a year. Grass is always greener on the other side. Also the underestimating their opponent is spot on as well - while we were together, he gloated about his triumph by suggesting we watch a show with a storyline almost exactly the same as his behavior to see if I catch any signs - I did feel uneasy and asked him if the character is him, and he laughed it off. A sick way to get satisfaction while essentially laughing in your face because you can't see who they are. However, a lot of us wake up either in the middle or towards the end of the relationships - and they underestimated us. Thank you so much for your insights!

I have been living with narcissistic family members all my life and what you describe is exactly right!

The Break up Manipulation- It’s Ex-“Always your Way or the Highway, ..why cant you just meet me Half way? Responding to my “No” as the Answer to Ex-“Are we Together? I’ll take the “Highway”..

I always feel once I start playing their "game"-- cuz I'm tired of losing, being wrong, etc-- I already lost. Always in the middle of the argument, I think, "how did we get here? Why am I even bothering? Do I even actually care?" So I stop.

Excellent video!! I really enjoy you taking the comments & formatting a video around the most popular. Thank you for creating & uploading this!!

This comment is related to impulsivity of speech. I have two examples, 1) we were sleeping on a couch and I needed to leave, it was very late. In a semi-conscious state, she asked "are you leaving to go to another woman's house." I asked, "No, why would you think I'd leave you, to go be with someone else?", her reply was, "because that is what I would do if I were you". She has very little free time, and I have a ton so I think that is what she meant. If she had the freedom I have she would seek more partners. 2) her boss was leaving the company, I suspected she was cheating on me with him. She would jokingly say she is moving to his state to go work for his next company because he is such a great boss, at a happy hour after a few drinks, she said, "I cant wait to move to X state, and live with......." she realized I was sitting right by side her and did not finish the sentence and immediately started a new topic of conversation.

About a year ago, I left a narcissistic relationship. Her efforts to ensnare me again did not work. Unfortunately, she and my father (80) began a relationship and his behavior towards me has been awful.

I had a great friend for a few months. However I made verbal comments about them at work and THAT was thrown in my face sooooo many times and then from "good friend" I became a "bad person" in the blink of an eye and sudden rage at my for taking down his image at work. I spent the next year listening to how awful I was etc- completely fooling everyone else that he was this amazing person, telling me things that I was all these horrible things (that was contradictory to what EVERYONE else had told me in my life) until I was this broken down person. I got help and some medicine and became the person I wanted to be - that made him annoyed that I was doing well and making huge strides. NOW I look back and realise what a TOTAL narcissist they were - I had NO IDEA what it was until quite recently. He is STILL fooling people about how wonderful he is. I have learned a very hard lesson but now understand things a lot better.

Do you ever meet someone everyone else loves and you meet them and something is off? It’s cause we see their mask slip.

They have unbelievable double standards

My sister in law, who I had my suspicions about for years overstepped a huge boundry with me and I called her out on it. In retaliation, I was gaslighted, given the silent treatment, lied to, and she turned the rest of the family into flying monkeys. She was a Dr. of child psychology for a school dept. Scary!!!!

It's amazing how much I learn from you and other skilled people on the subject. Thank you.

I may have been my ex's karma, she destroyed her ex/"baby daddy" and after seeing how she could treat someone she once lived I started to step back. She started to go nuts, excessive drinking and drugs. After multiple trips to the hospital from her ODing and alcohol poisoning I cut ties. She went totally off the deep end getting in trouble with the law to a point of having a restraining order put against her. 3 more trips to detox and 4 more trips to hospital and she's now with an extremely abusive and controlling ex of hers. I pray she gets the help she needs and finds a good relationship, it's just never going to be with me.

SO VERY WELL SAID !

These are excellent tips. Thank you.

Just last night I went to go and check if the bathroom was clean and tidy. I was in there for little less than a minute. He followed me accusing me of taking something from his jeans. Raging at me and he was carrying the baby. He stopped when the baby started crying

I keep myself in healthy shape and she's sabatoging relationships and over whelm about everything and also playing the victim

When he got into an outburst of anger, he asked if it was necessary. At the same time, I calmly talked to him about what he had said. Sometimes he kicked the furniture, the trash cans, or threw a glass and a pot with clay right next to me. But they didn't talk about it. The act didn't happen. How would he probably react? When he couldn't stand anything at all.I'm very lucky that I'm a calm person. I'd rather go home.

I miss your videos. Please keep them coming.

I decimated mine in the end 😊

I got a story like that! He hoovered me and begged and apologized while expecting an apology from me also, I said ”I guess you want an apology but I dont have one to give you” Well he kept contact and I kept my distance but couldnt really tell him to go to hell yet. So one saturday two weeks ago, he wanted me to come and spend the night. I hesitated but went and pls dont ask why I still to thhis day dont know and I regret i immensely. I came and he acted weird. In the morning that day he had pissed me off already cause I said I was leaving at 11 in the morning the next day and he was moving so he needed a cleaning lady to come and clean and he told me he needed to go pick her up. I said why let her take the bus she lived close by. He said no but usually after a whole day of work and I need to walk to nearest busstation he always tells me to take the bus but not a stranger, for her he needed to be on time and pick her up. He said call me when you are done, I just hanged up the phone. I was pretty pissed when I got there so our communication was very hostile, and he acted like he was the one mad, which pissed me off even more. He then proceeds to ask me when he should pick her up, at 10 or 11, I responded, whenever the F you want I can leave now so you can pick her up whenever! Why the f are you even asking me. I dont give a 💩. He then says he has another question and I said ok bring it on. Background story: he took me to a woman to do my lips. She acted professional and knowledgeable and so on. I had to do a consultation but got none. Then I changed my mind and didnt want to do my lipfillers there but he had contact with her and booked me a new appointment saying she promised better professional treatment. I went there being dumb and let another woman who couldnt speak the language do my lipfillers. Before even starting with the lipfillers she says with a few words, I need botox in my forehead. Doesnt ask how I want my lips or tells me any information. This a medical procedure and not a joke. I was in so much pain even with anesthesia cause she clearly didnt know what the hell she was doing. Well I then corrected my lips at another professional facility cause they were uneven aswell after my first visit at that womans fake ass company. Friday the evening before I went to him I wrote a review on her fb page what I had gone through there. And now to the question he wanted to ask me! Instead of telling her she did a bad job or its true what happend he asks me to remove my review for his sake. He said do me that favour. I didnt want to know anything more I know she clearly called him to complain and tell him to talk to me to remove my review but I laughed out loud, took my bag, and said multiple times “Go to hell! You can just go to god damn hell” He got up imagine, stood infront of the door blocking me from getting out, I said -move he still didnt so I screamed “ MOVE FFS!!!!” He said ok on, as I was walking donw the stairs he says with a shivering voice “dont let me see your face again” I yelled back “shut up, and go to hell” and left. Went No contact and still havent heard from him. Hopefully I wont hear a sound anymore ever again. Maybe he got the memo! But left him hanging, when he asked “what is it? Whats wrong” I responded nothing. Just put my shoes on and went away. Didnt even look back! I was so done. He did think I was going ti stay the night cause he put some music on before he asked me this and wanted to make the situation cozy for some intimacy I reckon so I left him without giving him any of that. I will carry this with med forever so I will never ever fall for anything of his bs again. Never want to see him either so I am good!

I caught him out lying. I saw him on a u tube video skydiving with another woman. He was interviewed before the jump and he said he’s jumping with his Girl. I have cameras in my house and I sent to his supply of him naked in my house and I screen shot his texts to me 2 days before he skydived with her. I sent it to his supply . He came to my house wild. Now he doesn’t have me or her.

I love: -Your videos -Voice -Hair -Fashion Whenever I can't sleep due to severe anxiety from narcissistic abuse, I watch your videos to continue educating myself on narcissism and to help reduce my anxiety and fall asleep. THANK YOU 🙏 for your channel!

Thank you for the info

what if the narcissist thinks you are the narcissist? I have questioned and looked at myself. Went through the 9 traits and honestly i am none of them. I feel played. I gave everything to this women. I feel like i messed up.

The biggest hurt is them telling and acting like you do the things that they do to you. Means they dont care and its just a gaame for them

My wife is very ambitious, but her ambitions change from week to week - she complains that I don’t support her ambitions and that I don’t have plans, but in reality I can only sit on the sideline and watch as what I am supposed to support changes……… how can I plan?

Ok so me and my wife had a narcissist couple in our lives in a religious setting . He held a higher position and used the fact the people had to be forgiving to his advantage . This was a difficult situation , hoping you can make a video on this subject .

Mine would say I could try such and such if I felt big enough, I finally realized he always expected me to fail. It was his way of saying I couldn’t do such and such.

Thank you so much ❤❤❤❤

I was bullied by a workplace narc. She had a vastly inflated sense of her own self-importance and influence. She decided to target me and tried to intimidate me, claiming she and her husband were big deal lawyers. I had threatening letters delivered after I felt obliged to walk out. It was all a smoke screen. She and the company had screwed up big time and I had kept ALL the 'receipts'. I am not a lawyer but I fortunately wasn't intimidated. I researched the law, and discovered I had 3 different legal avenues to pursue. I was granted compensation under workplace discrimination laws, although I did not get my job back. She eventually lost her job because of this and I think it would affect her chances of employment in the future. On the day of the decision, she tailgated my car through town! She was so arrogant in her outrageously inflated personal opinion that she broke the laws she claimed to be expert in. She was NOT expecting anyone, especially lowly me, to ever stand up to her and she crashed and burned big time.

When I realized I was in a relationship with a narcissist and that he wasn't capable of love and that he had done me wrong since day one of our relationship and he didn't know how to have a relationship and he thought he thought he owned me and he still believes that in some way. I started listening to my friends and I started listening to you and other content creators and you all described him exactly as he is and knew every word he'd said to me and I realized I had to disconnect from him and get over it and he ran into the wrong person when he chose to mess with me because I didn't allow him to use word play or twisting words or his lies and I finally hollered back at him and louder than he did and then I stopped and said that's how you do me all the time and I won't allow it because I will not be disrespected the way you have disrespected me and he really had done that in every way possible and was very. Creative in doing so. I got over him because I had God and positivity and I knew I wanted love without lies and a man who was capable of having a conversation who wasn't secretive and hiding things. We're all worth more than that.

I’m married and been going through it over three years now. I’ve learned so much I’m just trying to muster up the bravery to leave. He’s packing right now to go to the beach with his son and daughter for a week and he’s been ignoring me for the past three days.

They underestimate you because they don't know you.At the beginning they create a fantasy about you in their mind and start relationship with that construct not with you. So they don't get to know you as they don't really see you.I was young and quite religious, it was an important part of my personality.Some making out in a serious relationship is allowed (in moderation🙂) but it's seen as a kind of debauch out of it.After the break up (we had been engaged for 5 months) he was astonished that I didn't feel like being close friends with occasional making out since he felt so alone (he broke up but I was ready)I was more dumbfounded than offended.

Currently in battle number 2 with my ex - who seems to fit a lot of the criteria for being a narcisist (not trying to diagnose them). I won the first one, but underway with number 2. Hoping to prevail again, but unfortunately it is in the hands of others at the present time. I'm hoping things will work out, but only time will. Divorce was finalized April 2022, they were re-engaged on Christmas Day 2022, re-married in June 2023. First battle was child support which I won (September 2022-February 2023). Now being challenged on parenting time (September 2023-current), so hopefully the system works out for me. Not asking for a W, but I'll take the draw to leave as is (50-50). I understand my ex will get an L for either of those conclusions, as her only W is my only L and being granted majority time. Was supposed to do mediation for battle 1 and battle 2 - battle 1 started and completed without mediation and was "skipped entirely", battle 2 had a mediation session, but the actual topic wasn't even addressed and had an agenda stuffed with 'items that could have been an email' and not the primary issue at hand. So my ex has done a spectacular job avoiding process and trying to jump to the conclusion immediately - I just hope the conclusion is good to me (either leaving as is, or giving me the W).

I have been guilty of all! I have done all things discussed in this video. But I never intended to be harmfull, now I realize my toxic behaviour started after being traumatized as a child. On the other hand I have exoerienced it also several times, I had a narcistic brother, church system, my wife and my next girlfriend. I have experienced every toxic behaviour talked in this video. I tealize I have been a abuser and I have been victim. Now I am not anarcisist, it is a response o a deep need coming from a deep hurt! My wife is not a narcisist, but she does, with all good intensions, why, deep need, deep wounds which are even worse through my behaviour. A endless cycle of drama. 25 years! The only thing is walk away. If you poke the bear long enough, he is going to bite! Who is the narcisist here? It does not matter, I only can take care of myself.

My husband bragged over and over about how intelligent he was. He also yelled at joggers for jogging the wrong way because jogging the wrong way wastes energy. He also told me, his wife, "I want to have children, just not with you." and "I haven't kept contact with my college friends because I haven't done anything I'm proud of." I recorded our last phone call. >:) Hello one party consent law.

Thanks!

I have been a relationship with a woman who I believe shows narcissistic tendencies, she would always “listen” to my feelings, I would tell her how defensive she is being about how I’m just expressing my feelings and emotions, but taking them as criticism, and that I need her to just allow me to feel like I can express this to her, she would find a way to distract me and feed me reasons and excuses for her behavior instead of just listening and understanding, when I pointed this out to her she would then say I was being defensive and how it is making her less receptive to my feelings because I’m being defensive, she could never put her own insecurities and self doubt aside to make me and my feelings the priority! It was just reasons, justification and excuses to explain her behavior…

They really do not pay attention to the things going on right on their own turf. My ex husband did NOT care how hurt i was, if i felt human, how the baby was, how distanced his family became, what i was doing nor with whom, if the household was running, not a single thing, until it occurred to him that if i left, eventually, someone else might have sex with me. It really hurt me when i realized that i was so low in his mind. I was like a plastic toy to a toddler; it didn't matter what i was doing, just as long as no one else was going to play with me. That was his concern. It was offensive and degrading and he seemed to have no idea that by gripping tighter, he was digging his own hole deeper. He ended up becoming so paranoid that he held me hostage. Interrogated me for hours and hours. He was very mad i would not lie to him. I kept thinking that if he knew i wasn't leaving for another man, that the abuse would stop. I have since resolved that in situations where our (my son & I) immediate physical safety is at risk, I am okay a lie or two. I feel like I could have avoided some pain if i was more dishonest. 😂 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ Idk though, it did seem like he was totally beyond my influence; nothing i said or did mattered to that trajectory, once he decided.

Whenever we were out, I always felt like she was looking over my shoulder to see who she could triangulate with me.

He asked me “what if I’m a really smart psychopath “

I was love bombed in the beginning he was so loving, caring etc, my perfect guy. He moved in with me and then I started to feel like I was being used. I always had a sense of him not being fully committed, he never fully moved in, would threaten to go to his mums when he wasn't happy. Never wanted his name on the bills, and never wanted to go 50/50 on all the bills. He started making me pay for more and more. I was ill in bed for a few days and he became annoyed at me because he had to pay for food shopping for all the three days I wasn't well! He has an answer for everything and can argue like anyone I've ever met and it's usually all in his favour and he was always the victim. He once said to me that putting our relationship out there on face book was 'nothing to shout from the rooftops about' then changed it when I challenged him, saying that that was not what he meant, a slip of the tongue! Ouch😢

I have dealt with both kinds of narcs, I was married to one for 8 years, threw her back on the street.

I had to come back to say thank you.

The impulsive communication happened to me last night 😂 My mom hasn’t been getting supply from me, and last night she lost it. Tried baiting me. It was over something so petty and she was being irrational. Instead of defending myself, I turned to her and asked why she was so mad about this. She responded, “Because my adult child isn’t-“ I raised my eyebrow because I knew just what she meant by that, and she edited her statement to because “you’re being an immature adult.” lol nice try, and thanks for revealing what you really meant, mom.

My father used to tell me, "Don't worry so much. Sooner or later he is going to shit in his own nest." Like for example when spreading a lie about us in hopes that will gain more sympathy for his family in general after he has already divorced us.

First I thought that the narcissist always won. I concluded it was through stubborn determination to never be a "loser" and never be wrong, buoyed along by having nothing better to do than pursue the goal of victory, no matter how pointless or trivial the issue. Then I realised that as long as their "narrative" characterised them as the winner, that was all that mattered and that could be achieved through all sotrs of gaslighting, lying, compartmentalising etc. But finally I realised the most comforting truth of all-narcissists in reality are incapable of winning anything at all, ever. Their need to control, to blame shift, to construct a perfect external appearance etc. and especially with their need to bring others down in doing all of that through envy, spite and every other toxic aspect that defines them, means they lost everything good, true and beautiful in life a long, long time before they were probably even aware.

Put CCTV at house...and record every chaos has happened at inside the home for future proof. It will help you a lot. ❤

Triangulation is insidious It was her go to for months. Blocked her for 2 months. Now I realize she brought nothing to the table.

My Narc husband said he never told me about a side piece he had whilst we were dating because in his words “where were you going to go? You never left me you were always around” to which I went upstairs and got a print out of the email he sent me after I went no contact for 2 years. I read it out loud to him where he basically begged me for a second chance’ when I tell you it was like pouring holy water on the devil - it’s no lie. He lost it - it was so bad he even got physical with me. I’m now separated and still coming to terms with the fact that for 20 years I let him have power over me. It’s both heartbreaking but liberating at the same time to know how blindsided I was but I’m glad I’m getting out

O.k. I will actually tell a story here corresponding with how they underestimate their opponent. I had a "friend" who was a narcissist, and this became very clear when I was trying to escape my narcissistic family and only had her to rely on. She made promises to help me and didn't, including to be my emergency contact, but she was exasperated and did not help me when I dared call about an emergency (preferring to continue her totally changeable entertainment plans than help in my emergency). I had been giving her a lot of nice stuff, as I was getting rid of my stuff to move away from my family, and the grotesque human vulture persona came out. Anyway, I realized too late that the box of stuff I needed someone to hold for me wasn't safe with her. She also had tickets to visit me in my onward destination, after being selfish and exploitative, expecting me to babysit and entertain her in addition to all my earlier undeserved generosity. I felt bad, but I just couldn't stand the thought of having her around after realizing she continued to steal from me/feel entitled to my hospitality, so I demanded she transfer all of my property to someone I did trust and refused to host her (by which time, she had an Airbnb and flight, and she could have just traveled without me in a city she knew). I wrote her a cease and desist letter and the key to forcing her to return my property ended up being that she had expected me to handle all her currency conversion during the trip, to save her atm fees, so she had cashapped me money. I told her she could have the money back in local currency at her destination, meeting up with me briefly, or after she returned my stuff. I don't think she would have returned my stuff without that collateral. She returned most of it, I think, canceled her trip, and I think felt horribly embarrassed that she had been caught and had underestimated me (thinking she could take from, neglect, and abuse me while still expecting my hospitality). Nope. I was so relieved never to have to see her again.

Enough is enough is where I'm at. I'm not taking it anymore! Not only do I deal with it from my bf, I deal with it from my mother.

Controliing Is their desire