8 Restaurant Etiquette Mistakes a Gentleman NEVER Makes 

I am guilty as charged. Half the table got their entrées and the other half 20 minutes later... I was so beyond annoyed.

Exactly,@@alfredbonnabel7022. 👍 Holding your cool and not being disrespectful to the server/wait staff is super important. Most likely, it is NOT their fault, so no reason to be rude to THEM.

@@WaltDittrich I did give him a $20 tip beside what he received from our table for service. Money doesn't make my actions right, but it was the least I can do.

Over the years of being a regular at a few places in town (mostly pubs), I've trimmed down to three guidelines for how one should behave. 1) Be polite. 2) Tip well if deserved and sometimes even if not deserved (Leaving no tip at all makes you look bad. Leaving some change or maybe 5 or 10 percent of the meal's price, sends a message to the server if the service is bad. Don't fault the server because the food is subpar. When they ask you how the food is, be specific and courteous. 3) Never never hit on the waitstaff. They already know when you're interested and if they are interested in you, you will know.

I agree with being nice to the staff because they do have control of my food. I used to work in a restaurant kitchen. I won't be nice if the staff is obnoxious and rude to me while I'm being nice, but I'll wait until after I receive my last serving of food to escalate the matter.

This is so true and wearing a hat while dining lowers your perceived IQ, style sense, self awareness and learned manners. Even worse if you choose your baseball cap backwards.

I was in the Coast Guard and it was a requirement that you take off your cover (hat) when going onto the mess deck (dining area) because traditionally, that is where the ship's surgeon or corpsman (pronounced cor-man) would operate on wounded sailors. I still go by that, even in a fast food restaurant.

Can't grant you that's one, the Cap of choice ( not fedoras or beefeaters or prussian army spike war helmets necessarily ) provides a certain function. Tired eyes from Screens. . L.e.d. restaurant insanity, recognition blocking, a wee sense of Privacy dammit or personal space albeit a few milimetres of brim-- (p.s. Panama in tropics etc also very useful) here to help.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves of all time - the jerk wearing his hat indoors...the bigger jerk is the hat wearer talking loudly on his phone.

We booked a table for dinner in a beautiful restaurant overlooking the Ocean in Camel California. The head waiter greeted us and before we had said a word, he asked if we were from Europe. He said he could tell because how stylish we looked… my husband was wearing a suit and I was wearing a little black dress. ( the head waiter was impeccably dressed) We were led into the beautiful restaurant to a lovely table. Unfortunately, on the next table the two ‘gentlemen’ were wearing shorts and caps back to front and the ‘ladies’ wear in what I would call casual beach dresses. They were rude to the staff and very noisy….such a shame.perhaps they should have watched this video. Ps my husband always stands when I leave the table for the powder room and on my return.

Very good points. It’s encouraging to hear that some fraternities teach this sort of thing

Bad spelling - your. When you finish the knife n fork are placed at 6 o'clock.

I've noticed the cut-up thing in the USA, where people dissect the components on their plate, then use the fork like a shovel to eat. What's the story with that?!

@@PeterH-be1xe Answer: Efficiency.

Glad you mentioned fraternity training. I learned the same. Also you do not start eating until everyone is served and the head of household starts eating.

Yes for sure, the waitstaff ALWAYS CHECKS ON YOU WHEN YOU JUST PUT A BITE OF FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH!!! Wave them off!!!

Good point, but if the restaurant staff is even mildly competent, they'll know enough to bring everyone's meals together or very nearly together if it's more than the waiter can do in one trip.

Do not go back to that restaurant.

that’s actually a big one! a month ago i was invited to big banquet style brunch for my friends birthday. the entire table of ~20 people is served including myself except for my neighbor to my left who happened to be a very attractive woman and friend of the birthday girl. the rest of the table began eating but i waited for a few more minutes until the servers finally brought out her plate. She noticed and thanked me for waiting and we ended up very successfully chatting that dinner and for a long time after

Unless u r Larry David!

I attended a lot of business functions where we would be seated for lunch/dinner at round tables of six or eight. Gentlemen - not only wait until everyone is served, but also wait for any ladies at the table to start their meal. My wife was often with me and she knew to ‘start the meal’ by taking a bite or two as soon as all were served. Sometimes ladies will be in a conversation and keep on talking while the gentlemen, if they know, just sit there waiting on the ladies.

I was just about to mention this and saw your post..best regards

Yes, absolutely. Perhaps I should have made that more clear. However, many restaurants these days give each diner individual packs of butter

Yes totally agree. Even here in Australia, we are generally easy going and forgive most slip ups with etiquette, but even here, taking a bite out of your buttered bread and putting it back on the plate is considered gross and inconsiderate of others. I’ve made my share of etiquette mistakes over the years, but being late or taking a bite out of buttered bread and putting it on the plate are 2 things I have never done, it’s just common sense really.

The same goes with sauces. Don’t pull a George Castanza and double dip.

Right! And no licking the fingers.

If you get a boba it is mandatory to continuously blow bubbles through it to keep it stirred up.

he didn`t mention farting..whew

Lol

I am not sure what your God has to do with this. However, as long as you are under the age of 4, the guests will condone!

~LOLOLOLOLOL~ I love it !!!! Best laugh of the week. 🤣

I never expected to ever read the sentence "I am a gentleman..." I think "Gentleman" is something to be called, not to call yourself to be.

The problem dear gentlemen is that those who need to watch the video are more interested in watching videos about riots

@@BernhardSchwarz-xs8kp videos about riots is what we need to croupe the metracrhy that boomers created, and which has dumbed down people to the extreme. thanks among others by pubic EDUCATION (not teaching) ran by wahmen.

Very good suggestions. Personally, I don’t like to put paper napkins on my lap unless I think there’s a high chance of spilling something. They fall off too easily

Chewing with your mouth open, making disgusting slurping noises. One thing that sets me off permanently is someone who blows noisily on their coffee/tea/soup and the proceeds to slurp it up, and then rattle their spoon around in the cup to mix it up.

@@Gent.Z Maybe it’s a U.S. thing but, cloth or paper, put your napkin in your lap. I’ve never experienced paper napkins falling off more so than cloth. If it falls off, ask the waiter for another.

Always complain about the food if it's not up to standard, otherwise you get the same crap again and again

If she's getting drunk, you have to get drunk, knowing the original plan of screwing her brains out after dinner is in play.

The bread and butter thing bothers me. It is, however, very common.

The butter thing doesn't bother me either. But I think it is a great tip -keeps us from wolfing down whole gobs of bread and looks so much more elegant and civilized. Next to no phone (which I will actively campaign for) my favorite tip.But they were all brilliant (as they say in the UK),

I’m 77 was raised to behave in this manner (except the bread thing). It’s appalling how many younger guys are either unaware or completely ignore common sense etiquette.

Nice to see other older cops have manners, too. From retired cop Pam in Ontario.

Lord knows there are enough who need it.

I taught all these rules to our two adult grandsons and can only hope they follow them. They do behave themselves when dining out w/us.

Or didn't listen.

Or cramming huge amounts of food into their mouths! A pet peeve of mine.

Or chewing with your mouth open.

And waiving or pointing with the cutlery.

Also, wait until your friend’s mouth is empty before expecting them to respond. Nothing more uncomfortable (and unsafe) than having to hurriedly swallow in order to answer.

I think that's granted

That's not always true. If I've got a male as a waiter and he's fucking everything up or being rude, then I'd likely be pretty up-front. Never would I raise my voice to my partner or be snappy, though. I'm not tolerating a poorly run service from men, but I'm never going to raise my voice to a young girl.

@@OngoGablogian185 That was not really where I was going with my comment, and I am with you on addressing poor behavior. I was more talking about scenarios where wait staff who are doing a decent job and treated like servants and/or chastised for things out of their control.

​@@Neomet010Yes, to witness the true personality of someone, watch how they treat their subordinates, not their equals. It's a good indicator.

If i have to worry about the price of my meal, I’d honestly rather just pay for it myself. “It’s rude to order something expensive” Yeah? Isnt it MORE rude to say that you’ll pick up the tab, and then be shallow enough to want to put a price tag on my head?

When I'm nice or friendly to a female wait person, I get accused of flirting with her. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

You can never go wrong.

It's an easy way to live. Let's face it. It ain't east being cheezie.

So excellent.

You misunderstood rule #5

I thought not playing with the smartphone would be the most important etiquette, but it was not mentioned.

Certainly. Dress appropriately for the occasion. If in doubt, it is better to be slightly overdressed. You can always remove a sport coat or tie and roll up your sleeves if the situation calls for a more relaxed appearance.

Must have been an Alabama hat.

Breaking of bread is not just a saying, it's good manners. Teach your kids proper manners, otherwise they will have bad manners. Bad manners put a stain on one's reputation which people won't forget. Cheers

Weird AI look generated presenter.

Who isn't happier at Wendy's? (Kidding good Sir).

Time have changed my friend. I was at a Ritz Carlton dining room recently and might as well been at McDonalds after a high school dance.

If you wear high heels, I will offer you much more than just my arm 😉

Love your comment and yes opening and closing car doors and holding a door open is more important to me than standing if I need to leave the table for the restroom. People who photograph their meal is ridiculous to me, really, are they trying to impress someone who actually doesn't care???

Women adore this !

Going to disagree with you on who pays the bill because its more nuanced than how you make it. I'm assuming that this is still in courting phase because of your comment. If a woman was raised correctly by her parents she will always offer to pay her portion of the bill. If she doesn't then that is a red flag on how her expectations/sense of entitlement will be going forward. A woman might get shocked that half the bill will be left with her then. If a date goes well enough and the woman makes a good faith offer to pay for her dinner, then a man, if he was raised correctly by his parents, should insist on paying the entire bill then. If the woman didn't make a sincere good faith effort to get to know the date, and its obvious she was never into him or was there just for the eats, don't be surprised if the guy only pays his half.

Hello Rob! My comment on a gentleman pays for dinner if he asks someone to dine with him was not related strictly to dating. Correct etiquette is that whoever asks the other person out, should be the person who pays. As far as dating is concerned .... This concept that it is alright for a man to ask a woman out for dinner and then only pay for his half, is extremely bad form and will ensure that you don't get a second date. However, my own personal way of dealing with that particular issue was to allow him to treat me the first time, but to add that I would hope he would be happy for me to treat him to the next dinner out. In my single days, I was wealthy enough not to put up with a "nickel and dine man" .... I was looking for a gentleman who understood the society and class I came from. Fortunately, I found a lovely one. I would suggest that when you ask a prospective date to dine, that you make it clear from the start that you are happier when people go "dutch" until the relationship is more established, then she can make her own decision before you both waste your time. Sometimes, you have to decide if you want a lady on your arm or simply a woman .... The former will require you to step up to the plate and act as a gentleman. However, a lady will also ascertain quickly that you might not be able to afford the expensive restaurants .... Personally, when a gentleman asked me out the first time, I would suggest afternoon tea which kept costs down!

You are served from the left side and take away is from the right side. When finished eating you place the knife and fork across the plate so the waiter knows you are finished and will remove the plate. Never push the plate aside.

@@james-pierre7634 Agreed.

@@james-pierre7634 and never, ever, stack the used plates at the table. neither should the waiter/ress do this. it is uncouth and off-putting.

Lake Como is heaven. I was there when I was only 12. The little town had a 5 storey toy store. Toy soldiers, toy guns, and G.I. Joe's on the top floor. Oh Yes, Como's food and scenery were amazing too❤❤❤❤❤

@@acommentator4452 On one occasion, a member of the party ordered roast chicken. The bird was brought to the table, the meat removed (with a *spoon*, of course, not a knife) and then a snowy-white napkin draped over the carcase before it was carried off, lest the sight of it should offend the diners. Now, *that's* class.

Oh dear. I had to read that twice. I thought they ordered dessert to go "on their own bill". With the classless note, I'm guessing they added that on to the existing bill? Yes, horrible.

@@WaltDittrich Yea. When they found out my boss was treating, they added the to-go dessert onto his bill. He was too polite to protest.

I would have called them out on that

Oh, boy!

​@@frankwalton7323no,then you would become as classless as they were

I hope it went well. You reminded me of when I accompanied my 8 year-old son to a performance of Siegfried at the MET, and we had a restaurant dinner before. Because we watched a lot of opera on video in the late 80s my son learned to read from the subtitles and became an opera nut, a Wagner nut, really, from the age of three or four. Now pushing 40, he is a bigger fan than ever. Sometimes, all you have to do is push the boat out onto the water and it sails itself.

That's nice, teaching children how to act in a fine dining restaurant. Too many are lacking these skills these days.

What a wonderful experience for you both. I hope a good time was had by all. 👍

Please do not make the mistake of educating your son that Theater, acting, pretending to be "the King" and acting like one is essential for a good education. Stimulating his own interests and supporting him in thinking about the present is far more important than becoming an expert in what someone wrote yesterday.

​@@BernhardSchwarz-xs8kp I think both are important.

"Alex, that's the best that you get, any time!" (Bachelor & the Bobby Soxer)

I can't remember the movie, but after kissing a lady goodnight at her door he wiped his mouth with a handkerchief before leaving 😆

Yes yes yes. I HATE strong perfume, or for that matter, after shave. Puts me right off my food.

Tell that to any Russian or Ukrainian woman. They stink to high heaven.

@@spottedreptile2671 well god forbid anyone spoil your meal

sweaty armpits

@@nothingnewtome1 It is God. Show some respect.

3hrs at an American restaurant? That means the waiter/waitress will ask you on average 12.000 times if everything is OK!? That's challenging...

@@agn855 That is the difference between having a dining experience and getting something to eat.

The problem is that few restaurants have a place to leave a hat.

If I started eating at 8 PM, my reflux would be going all night! Also, three hours seems like a long time to eat a meal. Am I mistaken?

@@paulkotowski4006or coat racks/checks in the U.S. anymore. In Europe, they’re ubiquitous.

In my book it is, I'm 66 .

Nope! Not with the rise in feminism. Or female disrespect they show towards certain males. Don’t open doors either.

it was logical back when women were property of men.

My goodness, the foolishness🤦🏻‍♂️ Listen to me, if I want to unbutton my jacket, I will do so whenever I very well wish to.

When my younger family members are invited to my home for a meal I have to insist that the young man remove his baseball cap at the table, and that they both leave their phones on the coffee table in the other room. This is taken badly, but my house, my rules. They simply do not see it as bad manners, so far have standards fallen. We have all seen cartoons -- and even photographs -- of a group out n a restaurant with every single member of the party staring at their phones. I find it appalling.

@@VLind-uk6mb It is appalling. I've had arguments with people over whether or not certain actions, wearing a hat to a table, fixated on your phone, holding your fork like a shovel, wearing jeans and t-shirts at a wedding or funeral etc. were bad manners. I'd show them articles on the internet that explained that these actions were crude. And their rebuttal? "Well, that was a different time. Things change, styles of dress, language and social norms like manners all change". "Fair enough" I said. "So what is considered to be bad manners at this time?" And they couldn't tell me! So apparently anything you wish to do in public is fine and it's your problem if it upsets you. I saw a video recently where a fourteen year old kid was filming himself walking past diners eating at tables on the sidewalk at a bistro. He'd randomly grab food off of their plates and eat it hoping for a reaction so he could post the drama on a social media site for clicks. One woman was outraged and told the kid and his partner never to touch her food again. He told her using colorful expletives to go away and get over it. And when her posted the footage the people seeing it commented that HER actions were unwarranted!. This is the world we live in today. The internet has ruined society.

@@toshikotanaka3249 No argument here.

I only bring my phone if I need it to arrange the reservation or to pay by phone,otherwise it's in my pocket .if I am a guest I just leave it in the car

@@michaelmerck7576 I'm going to guess that you're over 35, because no one under that age, in my experience, has ever done that.

Often it's assumed that the one making the dinner suggestion is also going to pay (unless you specify that you want to go dutch), especially if a man is inviting a woman, even if it's not a date. I have a couple of friends who always pay, even if I offer or planned to. That's actually awkward to me, especially more than once or twice, since it feels to me like it puts me in debt to them or makes me feel like a freeloader. My friends who always insist on paying probably just feel good doing that. Sometimes best just to work it out with them and not assume too much in either direction, if you go out with the same people often.

Would so very much enjoy being your guest but only 3 times. Payed is BTW spelled in better circles, paid, hoping to see you soon over a tenderloin and a single malt. Cheerio.

@@schnaps1428Yeah, that "payed" was a goof!

“Quite the Restaurant aficionado…” OK here we go lol. Lol.

As a woman, unless I'm specifically told that my dining partner will be paying for my meal, I offer to pay my share - but only once per meal. If they turn down my single offer, I don't ask again. I do always thank them. Depending on the relationship, I may or may not take a turn at being host.

And this gentleman knew one of the great ways to get superlative service is to be nice!

The Golden Rule should always be that "you catch more flies with honey". any time that you have any dispute or promblem, always State your problem with a calm respectful demeanor, it will speak volumes about you.

Thank you, sir. I'll be happy to keep them coming

I’m in this same boat, being from America and never hearing about the bread and butter mistake. Great to learn and apply moving forward

To my fellow Americans, this bread issue is in fact very important. Please be sure to follow the important instructions put forth here.

As far as rule #2, to insinuate that certain “cultures” are prone to lateness is both racist and oppressive.

@@Gent.Z; As far as rule #2, to insinuate that certain “cultures” are prone to lateness is both racist and oppressive.

Times have changed. Marxism is in. And he declared social etiquette and table manners a fallacy of the bourgeoisie. Let' your kids scream, and eat with their hands - that is ok among real commerades. And don't be surprised if drinking out of the bottle is ok too. Just make sure that you lick the rim clean before you put the bottle back. Enjoy dinner in an Ester Block country and you will experience all of the "enjoying life and sharing a bottle".

Did you learn about the phone?

so many hyper judgemental people over the most trivial of things.

⁠@@rockyf4981I agree it’s a pain to be so judgmental, but there no question a thank you or a smile can really show respect and improve service -that bring said, if I thanked the bus boy I would not condemn my date if she didn’t follow with s smile

As a woman who doesn't dine with water, I tell the wait staff no water, so not to waste it. When dining out I only consume alcohol, but always thank my server.

@@rockyf4981 It's not "trivial" to me. It shows our characters and respect for other people. I'm sorry you are so condescending to the waitstaff and me. I guess your silver spoon is readily available from your Au Pair.

Excellent Comment! Astute and very true. I also love 45 ACP! Also, a man who was a dear friend of mine whose mother was a child psychologist said the most important question you can ask on a first date is: What is your relationship with your parent of the opposite sex. In other words, if you're a woman, how is your relationship with your dad? If you're a guy, how is the relationship with your mom? He said he dodged many a bullet with that question.. Unfortunately many of my sisters have a victim mentality and think that they can "change" a man.. I have news for you: YOU CAN'T.

@@nancyoffenhiser4916 No, you can't. It's like trying to teach a pig to sing. It just annoys the pig. And a man can't change a woman. I never imagined why you would want to. If you aren't compatible with someone, move along. You'll both be happier.

@@nancyoffenhiser4916 that sounds a bit odd esp on a first date; sounds like a psychiatric assessment rather than a social meeting.

Online dating and Uber didn't exist when I was a young lady dating!

@@patriciayohn6136 Taxis and "personal ads" did. HOW you meet or get there has nothing whatever to do with my comment.

I was going to ask if that is something still done or seen. It was not discussed on the video but assume that is still a sign of respect.

I stand up when a lady or anyone else comes in but standing up when people go in and out is too much.

Yay, someone else that follows etiquette. Our parents taught us. And blatantly apparent that many others were not taught the finer things in life. I don't care if we are dining at a fast food place or a Michelin star establishment, rules are the same.

Like when she goes to the bathroom you stand up for a second? Trying to understand.

​@@tr0wb3d3r5 Correct. My brother still does this as that is how we are raised. However, it does matter where we are enjoying a meal. If at a taco shack or hamburger place, no at a proper restaurant, yes.

"allow your partner to follow the waiter before you" This is one my dad taught me too. You always follow behind her. Never make her follow behind you like a puppy dog.

@ScroatBagGarage: Here in Texas it is customary to leave your cowboy hat on when dining in fine establishments. However, on occasion I'm wearing a cowboy hat I can't but help myself to remove it.

@@wrc1210 The view is much better from behind as well 🍑

Great list! The only one I'm not sure about is the knife and fork. I was always taught the knife and fork (fork left and knife right) at the 4 o'clock position when finished eating. Any server worth their salt would know that you are done.

@@daveb2280 ---I have not been in a fine dining establishment since my 20s, when I still had a full head of hair. Except for church or the pledge of Allegiance, I hide my shame beneath my baseball hat. (Those transplants cost about $2 per hair).

As an almost 73 year old woman who is married to my third Husband, one divorce and one unexpected death, who was also raised by my Paternal Grandparents who adopted me. I NEVER saw them argue and they were the greatest parents ever having raised four children during the Great Depression and then their two oldest Grandchildren. Loving, kind and old school, my younger Brother and myself were treated to fine dining at least once a year in major metropolitan settings. My Grandfather/Father was the consummate gentleman, and we were taught absolute manners. I have lived a great life and am truly greatful for the experience. All of my Husbands were raised the same way, respectfully, especially to elders and spouses.

Simply ask the waitstaff for more time, they will return.

Yikes! Hope that never happens at my table. I did know someone who would take out her cellphone and take a photo of her mouth to see if there was anything caught between her teeth. Let's not go there.

So I guess that means that I can't eat the booger either?

That's very true. Another subtle etiquette tip that completely changed my life is to never use my date's hankerchief to wipe my ass and proudly show the contents off to everyone in the restaurant while touting what a good boy I am.

Hi, I am surprised that you had to wait until college before learning basic good manners, it is a bit late in life to start learning what most European children have learned by their second year of schooling. This is so obvious in Europe and hence you will see children eating with their parents in restaurants. I pointed out to a American colleague visiting us in Europe, that wearing a hat indoors was considered bad manners unless he was Jewish or Muslim. He said that it didn’t apply to him as he was American! I gave up. Cheers mate. Harera

@@deeza3384 ...and burping too, with the exception of arab culture

Gracious host for sure but still use some discretion.

@@psidvicious I’m a cheap date by nature so that tends to keep me in check 😂

One assumes this is a training video for upcoming chimpanzees.

That’s how I try to be as well. I recently took my sister and my girlfriend out to eat and both occasions I let them know to order whatever- I didn’t want them to have to worry about how much the check was, but for them to just enjoy their evening.

Took my wife, daughter and grandaughter out for a meal which we all thoroughly enjoyed. $400.......

Lovely rhyme at the end. Was it intentional?

There is a pandemic of primate utensil grabbing. The same for pencils, pens etc.

hahahaha

There is a REAL PANDEMIC OF PEOPLE ON THEIR PHONES!!! Granted people that use their utensils as excavating tools are really unmannerly and it shows if they are on a date.

Is it not obvious? 🤔

I Disagree : If I add salt to a meal before tasting it, the signal I send is that I like an extra touch of salt. But if I first taste my meal and then add salt, Im signaling that the chef didnt prepare my meal correct, and that I have to correct his mistake.

100%

I learned that way to compliment a woman many years ago as a very young man, I think from an Ann Landers column. I've always followed that rule since, and it's cool to hear someone else confirm it!

Yes, sweetness I like your dress. Come over to my place and show me the rest. 😂😂

Good point. Not only does it compliment the date, but it’s a great ice breaker if you don’t know the person well -my phrase would be “ that’s a pretty dress/outfit”

Even just telling the other person how nice it is to be spending time with them.

Because it's dumb. No one cares.

@kristaferailslieger4906 I am a crude and disgusting man. I pick my nose at the dinner table and use my fork as a back scratcher. Do people care? Probably. But I do also wear a tie, put my napkin on my lap, scoop my soup away from me, and butter my bread in individual pieces, in a crude approximation to the way I was brought up.

@@probro9898 Good for you.

@@kristaferailslieger4906 I'll say! 😊

@@kristaferailslieger4906 Manners mayketh man!

Good point, if the other person is super late and doesn't communicate, it's very annoying but I guess the only thing to do is shrug it off.

As we see from the interesting and often excellent comments/replies, there are other things that could be added to the list. The point is that this video is a good refresher course, and makes one think about what one does.

Thank you.

Allow your guests to sit first. Don't hide behind the menu. Don't order until all the women have ordered. Napkin goes on your lap and not until you start eating. Keep your eyes on whomever is speaking, looking at your plate just long enough to start your next bite. Don't be the first to finish eating.

The bread-buttering thing is nonsense. The rest seem sound enough.

so nobody finish to eating. Than will be funny @@redswingline262

*When making the reservation, always address any special needs of the attendees-mobility issues, Braille menus, etc. - making sure your guests will be comfortable and without issues. *Don't chew your food with your mouth open. *Know how to deal with bones or other inedible materials which may be used on the plate (i.e., toothpicks holding a lemon slice on fish). Don't just throw them on the table. *Keep your voice at a polite & respectful volume. The people at the next table don't want to hear about Grannie's new dentures. *Keep topics of conversation appropriate for mealtime and appropriate for the guests (age, relationship to you, location, etc.)

Thank you, sir

We can hope.🇬🇧🇬🇧

always consider there is a difference between "form" and "formal",,,

😂

I agree with you 100%, with the small exception of a nice, loud, fluttering fart or plurping flatulence.

If my male dining companion did that it would be the last time I saw him! I am perfectly capable of ordering my own food, thank you very much! I do not see it as a politeness, but as a way to remind me that I am a silly, brainless female, who can’t even order her own food correctly! This is not 1894!

Very considerate.

That’s a bit old school - if you know the lady well enough ask her if she’d like you to order for her.

Your suggestion is 50-50}from my experience , some women enjoy letting the men order as the ‘date maker’, and others would be annoyed, feeling they are ‘capable’ of ordering fir themselves-what I used to do was to ask my date in a restaurant I know well that may be a ‘ complicated’ order if I can tell the waiter her choices as to make it easier for her-usually she is pleased that I’ve asked, and either say, “ sure, thank you!”, or “ thanks , but it’s ok, I can order” -usually can’t go wrong this way

@@leecarlson9713 This rule makes sense though. Especially in crowded places and when you are more than two people on the table. In France, we proceed like this most of the time, mostly because it makes it much easier for the staff, and then, easier for everyone. The waiter lets you the time to chose, and when he comes at the table, you say something like : "so WE will take this and that..." and no one thinks that some people around the table are too dumb or too silly to order by themselves. Believe me, there is nothing worse for the waiter than taking all orders one by one, and then having to check everything with every one to make sure that nothing has been forgotten. One gathers the orders of the table, once every one has chosen what he/she wants. Normally, the one who invites, or the elder : not necessarily a man, but a man most of the time.

I agree. Excellent advice on the bread. I will certainly follow it in the future.

Both excellent suggestions. I will do a video more specifically on first date etiquette soon and will be sure to include these

@@Gent.Z Good job on bringing back gentlemen behavior and style!! Keep up the content. My son asked me why I walk on the street side when I walk with a woman, I said to protect her if a car comes, his response: oh hell no, LOL. Thought you might get a kick out of that.

@@2815marionwood Actually that dates back to the 19th century and before, when few houses in the city had "indoor plumbing". People kept chamber pots in bedrooms with a little bit of water in them. When the call of nature came, you went to the bed room, pissed in the chamber pot, then threw it out the window. In cities this happened on a continuous basis all day long. The piss water always tended to hit the outer part of the sidewalk. So when a man and woman walked down the street it was considered gallant for the man to take the piss and let the women be more shielded from it. Another reason ladies walked with parasols and men wore hats.

@@RaptorFromWeegee Thank you Raptor! I got to get a hat!

Please be careful with this, and watch your date for evidence that she is uncomfortable with this level of courtly behavior on a first date. I am a bit older than the O.P., but I don't care for uninvited touching. I'm fine with having doors opened for me, but I don't need to be "nudged" to follow a waiter to my table, unless the dining room is extremely crowded. If touched, I'll probably unconsciously flinch a little ... I would expect a date to notice that and back off. This is especially important with younger people, especially those who feel consent is necessary for any and all romantic communication / touch. You don't need to explicitly ask, just watch body language. For example, I'd tell my 23 year old son to "help her if she seems to need guidance, but don't be pushy." Finally, this is most important for a first date. Once we know each other better, we will know each other's limits and how to get closer.

Unless...the server delivering the food is NOT the one who took the order. Happens very frequently in busy restaurants and bars...

Try dining at a better restaurant.

Can only come from someone who never worked as one. Staff often does that because noone reacts otherwise or the workload would be to big to manage. Remembering who ordered what is preferable but often not possible because there are many tasks more important to do. If you want this quality of standard, than you have to go to a restaurant with way to many staff, a nice work environment with an understanding boss and a restaurant with seats were it is logistically possible to serve food from the side. This would be the bare minimum for your standards. Too bad thats an ideology, no boss pays enough for this jobs to be worthwhile and staff is cut so it works somehow, just not at this standard. Btw. its rude to ignore the waiting staff, espacial if the restaurants are full.

Yes. Sadly, some restaurants do not have etiquette lessons (or even training) for their servers.

That snotiness I would confront INSTANTLY. Since I was a bartender in college, besides the general dickheadedness...

@@grumblesa10 I agree...but ity was too late, I was just another customer. I did confront them, that is when they said the magical words.

Well mate, we pay people decent wages in Australia. Tips are not as prevalent as they are in the USA.

Tips is a very North American thing. Don't try to tip in Japan, please

@@dmitripogosian5084 Is it considered an insult?

Rarely if ever done in this day and age.

That goes for any occasion, not just for dining. When someone approaches you for a greeting, you should rise to greet them. Male or female, doesn't matter.

You are absolutely correct. @@BillSmith-rx9rm

@@sarahschmidt4177 and something else that goes along with this, a man should never offer a lady his hand for a handshake. He should always wait for the lady to extend her hand to make the offer first.

You are absolutely correct, again. I have so taught my sons. @@BillSmith-rx9rm

That’s actually a funny story hahaha good one.

Did you call her a donkey and tell her to shut it down ?

Too funny but you were honestly able to critique and justify the concerns that were valid.

Not sure about the standard of hotel restaurant if the manager actually SAT down with you......... Also pretty poor if they couldn't see any faults themselves so yes, good funny story but never happened. Ex UK hotel, banqueting and restaurant waiter of twenty years experience and I might add that much to my wife's annoyance, I criticise service etc when dining out but it's usually basic service issues that I pick up on which should be taught from the start regardless of whether it's a cafe or a five star restaurant. Food problems are dealt with depending on how much you are paying....... American issues I often see are clearing individual plates before the whole table is finished leaving the slowest eater all alone with their food then compounding this by also removing all the napkins before serving desert. Pouring huge glasses of wine whereby a whole bottle is emptied into four glasses. Better to pour smaller amounts leaving the rest to chill on ice. Thinking it's alright to serve lukewarm white wine, then getting upset when being told to take it back and asking for a cold bottle. Out for a meal in a smart New York restaurant where all the staff wore black tie and suits, looking super efficient. One of them took so long trying unsuccessfully to open a bottle of sparkling wine that I asked him to let me show him the proper technique as I'd done it literally hundreds of times. Opened it for him and put it into the ice bucket but must have upset his ego as he walked away without a thankyou or actually pouring it! Probably unable to serve it properly either but certainly not a funny story.......

Noc8076: Yeah sure.

Most fancy restaurants in the U.S. put out warm rolls. It forces you to cut it in half and butter one side of the roll at a time. It also allows you to eat one half of a roll at a time instead of cutting large single slices into bite size morsels.

Cut a piece of meat, eat it. Cut another, eat that and so on. Don’t cut a big slab of meat into numerous pieces then eat them all. Cut, chew, converse, repeat. Take a taste of your drink, other dinner items. Take your time. Enjoy the company, the scenery,the ambiance,the conversation. Keep the bites small enough you don’t have to chew it like a horse chewing its cud.

Horses don’t chew the cud!

Thank you for your comment and suggestion, sir

Pp0

To go one step further: Whilst dining at the US's very high class restaurant: "Outback", they give you a full loaf of bread to share. Instead of grabbing the loaf by the large side, sawing through a piece, then grabbing the piece- so as to have handled the entire loaf with your hand, but then grabbing the small section you cut to eat: Grab the side of bread that you're cutting off and are going to eat, and take the section you cut off with you. That way your paws aren't contaminating the rest of the loaf!

@@stargazer2504 Usually loaf style bread will come wrapped in a cloth tea towel. It is acceptable to stabilize the bread while cutting, with your hand, using the towel.

@@psidvicious Outback doesn't have tea towels bro... It comes bare on a wood cutting board.😆

@@stargazer2504 So use your napkin to grasp the loaf or better yet ask the waiter for an extra.

Tear the bread!

Yeah, you want to butter your toast while it is still hot/warm. This is unlike in Europe where the bread is so tasty and rich it doesn't even need butter.

Mind, the toast at breakfast is typically consumed in one go, as the main "dish" of the "course", whereas the bread on the side here is a snack, a palate cleanser, that could sit indeed for a substantial time between actual bites during which its sight may displease.

I fully agree, especially in the United States.

Just in the US you're hiding hands .....

Where were you eating--the Mos Eisly Cantina, with Han Solo and Greebo?

In Europe there are different table eticett rules ….

@@johnphillips9091 There used to be table rules ......nowadays .......all got "Americanised" (movies ), Ghetto-cultured . Lot's of new rich coming from a very very modest "background" started pushing misbehave thanks to the money . I'm not religious but the bible said " A hog with golden ring in the nose remains a hog" (hard to say it better !)

#9 👍

As a UK resident, I cringe when when observing Americans at a dining table. The dish arrives, they cut it all up into bite sized pieces before dumping their knife and using the fork as a food scoop!

@@fabianmckenna8197 Well, I can’t speak for every American of course, as table manners almost have no meaning anymore among so many people. But where I come from, cutting your main dish up into pieces (meat, steak, chicken, ham, etc) and discarding the knife is bad manners unless you are doing on behalf of a small child or a handicap person that has trouble handling utensils. The only time you scoop with your fork is with side items suited for it like English Peas, Beans, Corn, etc. Everything else (main dish, salad, etc), you turn fork upright and use the prongs to impale the cut bite one at a time after each cut. AND you never use your fork to cut either.

Chopsticks.

@@Forestier1 Ahh. Chopsticks. Being a Westerner, I usually forgo chopsticks at Chinese and Japanese restaurants and use western utensils except for occasional fun for the experience (frankly most Chinese Americans and their children I know for go chopsticks too considering them obsolete. The only people in the West I see using chopsticks are fictional police detectives on TV poking them in a white box of...something at their desk while they talk with their mouth full about the case they are working on.). Most people, including my wife, don’t know how to hold them. I know how to handle them (basically if you understand it’s like holding two pencils, you can figure out the proper hold and movement pretty quick from there with your index finger doing all the work. A cursory look online a few years ago told me there is etiquette to using chopsticks in Eastern countries varying slightly from one country to the next. Poking or stabbing food trying to improvise as a fork is considered rude. Proper placement on meal completion is important too. All I recall is that you place them in the plate side by side if you are satisfied with the meal not back on the table and not crossing each other. And that’s all I personally know of chopsticks.

Thank you very much, more to come