9 Signs You're NOT COMPATIBLE With Someone... 

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What's frustrating is when someone pretends to be someone they are not and you don't know until it's too late. Don't pretend to be someone you are not.

Never Go into a Relationship with the mindset of them having potential. Either you fit or you don’t. And that’s ok . Have a blessed day Stephan

“You have to know the difference between Becoming a better version of yourself & becoming a person you’re not” This is so important !! 👏🏽

You’re on point “If you don’t understand her, how do you properly love her?” Yes, baby!

I tried dating someone I wasn’t really attracted to because I loved their personality... it wasn’t enough. We would have been better off as friends.

- [x] You want to change things - [ ] Your differences bring conflict - [ ] You’re not attracted to them - [ ] You have different spiritual beliefs - [ ] You constantly argue - [ ] You avoid the issues - [ ] Different sexual views - [ ] You cannot stand their friends!!! - [ ] You don’t understand each other

You can’t force connection . It’s there or not. Be patient and listen to your intuition to move forward or bounce.

Yes! 👏👏👏 The person should already be what you're looking for when you meet them....not a fixer-upper.

"When attraction is not there, respect can go out the window." Yikes! I didn't even know that, thank you for giving that insight!

The biggest incompatibility is a couple where one is a spendthrift and the other is a saver and investor. This type of marriage often leads to divorce. Also a person who deals with conflicts by showing anger and verbal abuse does not belong with a peaceful person who calmly discusses problems and issues. The Bible tells us to avoid angry 🤬 people.

I’m glad you mentioned sex as an incompatibility because I feel that we tend to overlook it, then both partners are sexually frustrated!

I had a woman tell me that I'm lazy because I'm an introvert, I'm content with myself and content in my world, I don't NOT go out, i like going out, but i can only deal with the masses for a certain amount of time before my energy drains and i have to leave. But she really told me , because I'm not as active or I don't like going out, or doing different activities as her that I'm lazy lol, I was like okay. And I stopped talking to her.

Sex changes everything and clouds so much, creates bonding where bonds should not be because the person is not right. Waiting until marriage gives the relationship time to build, true intimacy. It allows people to look at each other with eyes wide open, and honestly. After marriage, sex creates that strong bond that allows eyes to be half shut. That bond helps two people with stand the crosses and hardships life brings. Just wanted to add this. I really enjoyed listening to your video. Thanks

I'm in the opposite position...I lost respect for the man and thus my attraction to him dissipated.

100%!!! I tried with 2 different men, lack of {physical} attraction. One I stayed with for 7 years hoping I would get over it because so much else was there, and tried to convince myself I was being shallow, to overlook it etc etc... I will never ever do that again. It was unfair to both of us!

"Differences bring conflict and not balance" - wow, this spoke loudly to me

I am a first time viewer. This video is on point. It has caused me to rethink my situation. Loneliness is not a reason to get with someone who is incompatible with you. It breeds frustration, resentment and regret.

Honestly I think being a alone is probably the best thing for people to do, but some people force themselves into a relationship out of fear of being alone.

The way you break everything down and genuinely include God in your work means so much. You are so patient and compassionate, bearing all the fruits. I appreciate you. Thank you Stephan! 😘

I agree wholeheartedly……when you say you love someone, that mean you accept them for them and you don’t try to change them. Never attempt to go into a relationship and try to change someone, you are not compatible; move on and find compatibility ❤️🙏🏻👑😇

100% attraction can come about. I've realized a woman was attractive to others but she was only average to me. Now as I got to know her I really loved her personality and she became more and more physically attractive to me. Now I find her really attractive because she's more of a whole package kinda deal.

I had an ex tell me that he really liked me but he was constantly trying to change my viewpoint on sex. He even went as far as asking basically demanding me to call my friends and family to get their opinions on sex while he was on the phone. He knew he could not manipulate me so he sent me a very nasty long text about how he doesn’t and never wanted me. Yet he consistently reached out via text, call and FaceTime. He was toxic and narcissistic. Him leaving was the biggest blessing.

True connection leads to unity if the inner work is done. Unity within and Unity with your counter part. Normally when a soul connection occurs it is based on similar core values, that means compatibility on the core level.

OMG!!! Stephan's example of what can happen when two people that are together have dissimilar musical tastes is so spot on and highlights the genius of his mind as far as how he can explain a very complicated interpersonal dynamic in such a simple yet profound manner that EVERYONE can understand and embrace...you are such a gift to this world Stephan!!

That’s such a good point Stephan, I know a couple of women who know that they are in a bad relationship - but are convinced that they can change their men who are basically players and will never change!! It’s just sad that they don’t realize that it’s extremely difficult for a leopard to change its spots. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

To me, being compatible does not mean we're the same. It means the personality traits, values, morals, those core things line up in such a way that we have the most important things in common, but our differences help to balance us out. In this way, we complement each other. That's what compatible means to me. And yes, that is very important. To me, we cannot have a true connection unless we're compatible in that way.

I feel like connection is necessary to go the long haul whilst compatibility is necessary for every day issues/doing life.

I loved "You ain't cute enough to talk to me like that!" Almost spit out my lunch laughing at that. Absurdly hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

Wow, this right up my alley. My husband and I were married for 23 years up till he past away. We were unequally yoked. He was Baptist and I was Pentecostal. Our beliefs were ok in the beginning. After a while it was the issue of the majority about our arguments plus his addictions. He became abusive and ended up hating me by his actions through his words as well. We had 3 sons. They are dealing with the damage as well I left him a few times. He would always talk me into coming back. Let's just say. When he past away. The war was over but the battlefield needed to be cleaned up. After 9 years of his passing still dealing with all the damage that was done. Plus he had 4 affairs plus addicted with prostitutes . He was a Very dominating man. Any one reading this please check all boxes. If anything is in question don't even start a relationship. If they don't wanna answer your questions they are not worth your time.

I love your videos! I am 62 & widowed & from my perspective, I see SO MANY things in my 2 previous relationships that I did wrong. These videos have been helping me to re-evaluate these past relationships & teach me how it SHOULD be. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Talking about incompatibility...I've known people whose weight was totally out of control and taking it's toll on their health. I've known people who because of their addictions(smoking or drinking), their life and health was spinning out of control, yet these same people insisted that their significant other be slim, trim and healthy. No one will ever truly have a successful relationship unless they are able to face reality.

Wow I'm literally in tears right now... just knowing` the writing was already on the wall....and you just confirmed it .... but it is what it is" Period... Thank you and I pray God continues to use you...

i just realized...ok it took me way too long to see it, i know...but i just realized that i was always willing to adapt to the things he liked but he was not willing to adapt to the things i liked. when it came to our mis-communication i was willing to learn how to love him better (i wanted to do couples counseling) and he was unwilling to do anything different than what he was already doing. that was it. thank you Stefan.

A few nights ago, I found myself lost & asking for signs or answers. Today I came across this. I do not believe in coincidences. Wow.

Compatibility with a person's family is very important. It is also important to observe the way a significant other responds to family members, especially during challenges. Family relations can affect your peace inside and outside of the home if boundaries are crossed and challenges remain unaddressed.

You are preaching more than you shouting!! You hit this on the SPOT. True Quality Speaking Stephan

So here’s my opinion about your whole idea of someone wanting to change a person’s weight. If you don’t love a person while they’re heavy, you don’t deserve her at her fittest. Love is not defined by a person’s weight.

You are 100 percent correct on your points and glad to hear that I'm not crazy. I was told that I needed to let the physical attraction go. Well, a relationship does not work if you don't feel the draw and kept thinking I was superficial. I gave this one man time, but ended up having to end things when the attraction was not happening naturally. Our differences also brought conflict. Worse part he argued with me about these same points, he couldn't see why being incompatible is an issue and its been hard for him to accept that I don't want to be romantically involved. The spiritual aspect was a BIG one as well! I refuse to settle when there are these specific incompatibility issues you are addressing in this video, just to say I have someone, never that.

Hi Stephan thanks for the video post on this topic! I agree that connection is more important than compatibility however, it shouldn’t be ignored during the getting to know you phase of a relationship. I also liked how you addressed that different belief systems is a sign that the relationship will not work. So many people overlook this, but if you don’t both share the same beliefs it will not work period. Thanks for addressing this 😊😊👍!

The friends thing is so true, I use to date a girl that her girl friend and I don't get along at all. At the end we broke up, I found out she was behind the scenes manipulating the situation right from the start.

Your topic today is speaking right to my soul! Many of us needed this. Thank you so much. Blessings.

People need to be independent, together.

This was definitely on time for me! Really enjoyed this talk! These topics are really common for a lot of us.

You are truly operating in your gift and calling Stephan. Been following you for years. What a on time message. God Bless you💘

You’re really good at helping me understand how relationships are supposed to be , and what not to put up with…Thanks

Thanks! You’ve highlighted many things that I have previously overlooked. Now I’m being more hesitant & looking at a possible relationship with a different perspective.

I am grateful for your counsel. This IS the advice that is going to change lives! 🔑--don't lose yourself trying to get w/ someone with whom you are not compatible. Go, Perfect (or mature) yourself 1st. Respect your standard. You have great value-Trust me! 💙

Absolutely amazing how spot on this video is. I'm in awe of how great Stephan is able to bring across this information using the right examples that are so true to everyday life.

Another view on the Sexual incompatibility is that the man overlooks the fact that you've expressed to him your view of waiting until there's an exclusively committed monogamous relationship in place, BEFORE even going there sexually. You want to wait on sex, and he's like a horny toad.... #incompatible

This was so good to listen to.. confirmed why my last relationship ended-thank u

You hit the nail right in the head Everytime! Thanks for the message.

Excellent video! All of these reasons were right on point. I really like how you added the point about, can’t stand someone’s friends. Sometimes people overlook this, even though it shouldn’t be. Thank you!

When attraction is not there, respect can go out the window 😆

Amen on not dating someone when they’re not what you’re looking for already, it’s insane to me that this is even a thing we have to bring up! Warning, this is a rant! Listen. If a guy needs me to be prettier or lose weight. Then don’t date me? I don’t want to, this is where I’m the happiest and most comfortable, I don’t understand why I always have to live up to a guys preferences and have him play the victim that I’m not what he wants when I already made clear what I’m most comfortable with. Not once did I chase a guy or tell a guy that he should be into me or girls like me when he’s not. If I notice a guy isn’t I leave, I don’t care for men who aren’t the right one for me. And I don’t mean that in a mean way, I truly respect what people enjoy, I’m an artist, I can truly understand how people have their own preferences. Yet again and again, I have men come up to me, completely unsolicited telling me how to become what he wants. I respectfully don’t want to. Or I get in a relationship and have him tell me then oh I need you to be prettier or lose weight even though we already made clear form the start that I’m not like that, I don’t want that, and now he gets to play the victim and portray me as a typical woman who needs him to be into something that he’s not into, even though I’ve never done that! I’m sick of that! I respect if peoplenlike model beauty even though I never in my life thought of conventional beauty as beautiful and attractive, and I’m not saying that out of spite, people just don’t want to hear how not every person alive is into that. Ever since I can remember I’ve been into things people would call ugly. To me it’s reversed, symmetrical faces look very flat, 2D and ugly to me, I don’t like guys with packs or skinny tall guys, but hey I’m not gonna go up to every person having that stamping on their forehead that they should really get some more dimension in their appearances, that would be mad narcissistic. But then just leave me alone? But men often times are not able to do that. They have this compulsive need to turn me into a supermodel when I don’t want to!! There are so many beautiful women who are exactly what they want why can’t they just leave me alone and chase the girls he wants to have, I don’t want to be with a guy who isn’t into the same aesthetic as me, but men keep deceiving me and turn the tables on me when they’re the ones in the wrong about it, it’s not my fault when they date someone they don’t fin attractive from the get go and then blame me for it. Then don’t date me. End, of story. It’s manipulative and creates a master servant relationship that I do not want to be in. I have loads of plus sized women who are the happiest women I’ve ever seen in their relationships and marriages whilst the pretty ones were just acting. I’m sick of the idea that every woman needs to look a certain way. No, people should go to the person they like. And if they can’t cause they have self esteem issues then for godsake go to the mental gym aka a therapist and work it out instead of feeding off of the wonderful souls of women who happen to look different. It’s messed up. I don’t care how well men AND women are able to justify it for themselves. Now, if a man dated a woman and he needs those looks, and that’s an agreement between the two, and the woman breaks it by losing those looks, then yes, he is in his right to say something about it or leave her. But so many times I see men having this agreement in his mind that he never made with a woman, (and reversed) and act all victimised. That’s on you. If you can’t communicate get therapy, that’s what I’m doing anyway. What happened to talking with your partner anyway? I personally h a t e dressing up, I hate grooming myself, and I hate coke body types. I love having my hair all messy, and be full of paint spots, twigs or flour whatever I was doing, and I truly respect if when guys want pedicure all put together women, or atleast a certain amount of time, I really do! I love everyone! My mom is like this and she’s a wonderful person, I admire how she can look so perfect all the time, And I’ve tried that to see if it’s something I would like, and so far I with confidence can say that’s not authentic to me, and it doesn’t make me any less feminine or a woman. And if no one would ever want to date this authentic me, that’s fine! No one has to date me. Just like how I wouldn’t date a guy I’m not into. I only found out recently I do enjoy to wear nicer fabric, or to have nicer bedsheets, but that’s all a guy can expect of me. If this ever changes, cool, but this is authentic, me. Just like I respect people who love model beauty, I feel like I deserve to be treated with respect as well, if someone doesn’t like me, then just don’t deal with me, if you don’t like what’s being served, go to a different restaurant, and I say that with all the love in my heart! I just want people to find someone they’re truly happy with, and not just barely, I can be happy for someone leaving when they don’t like who I am and what package I come in, to find what they do want. I just wished soemtimes men could care about women they don’t like in a bedroom sense as well, where if you don’t like her, you let her move onto someone who would. You don’t tear her down, you don’t try to heal fix and change her into someone shes not just to please yourself. It’s selfish. And I’m not having it when people say that’s impossible. My brother is a pro athlete with serious muscle, I’m not into that but I can love and support his goals and be proud of him with all my heart, and I would do the same for others. I love and support my model friends even though I couldn’t care less about long skinny legs. I love and support people who have different preferences and values than me. Saying you can only be human to someone you like in a bedroom sense is laughable to me. It’s normalised for sure, but it’s as insane as hitting your spouse and children was in the old days. We will look back at in the future and be amazed how we ever could’ve been that insane. Lucky to still be here? Like that person is so special. I don’t care how gorgeous someone is if they act up they’re gonna have an issue with me. I don’t care how successful that person is, they’re gonna have an issue. It’s immature behaviour, at best. People who think respect depends on someone’s looks must be kidding me, they have zero value in my eyes and no place in my personal circle, it’s just their perspective, not everyone else’s. Honestly some people out there just got an ego the size of Jupiter to just hide the fact that no matter how great you think you are, you’re just a speck of nothing in the grand scheme of the universe. Immature now on a spiritual level as well, how unattractive! Remember how we used to think it’s fine to rape kill and torture animals and we’re only now starting to realise how insane that is? This will be exactly the same smh

Everytime any woman wants to change anything about me right upfront, I always ask myself WHO she wants me to be, not HOW.

*11 Simple Self Improvement Principles For Strong Women* 1. Drink more water 2. Eat whole foods 3. Practice daily gratitude 4. Pick up a book 5. Daily walks outside 6. Listen to a TED Talk 7. Forgive someone 8. Stop following Kardashians and build something for yourself 9. Join a group of supportive individuals 10. Stop nailbiting/nailpicking habit for good (if you do it - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!) 11. Congratulate yourself for this growth Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list. If you did, what was it?

Oh man you got me at the type of music gets on my nerves. I didn't pick that up but thought I could wing it, wasted 7-8 yrs of my life. In all those yrs, I experienced every point you mention in this segment. Stephan you are truly heaven sent. I am learning a lot and I see me growing into my best self. You speak truth.❤ Thank you is never enough, God Bless you always.

I recently told someone: 1. We don't have any chemistry 2. We really have nothing in common 3. Conversations are mundane....he says that's not bad or harmful. That we can make chemistry 😏...No not wasting my time. I'm not attracted to him.

I love this. I’m seriously vibing right now to this. Needed to hear it all. Happy I found this channel.

This video is speaking volumes. I recently started to reconnect with someone after a while and he said he is looking for a woman who is caring and understanding. He mentioned the other day to come and see him and have sex(not so bluntly). I let him know that I am not looking for sex because I am celibate, but, that I am looking for a serious relationship leading into marriage. We would text each other in the morning and speak throughout the day. It has stopped on his end. I am not going to go any further with him.

Great video 🙂. I believe it’s that true connection that is the real determining factor. People may be surprised to be in love with the person that they never ever imagined being compatible with, because when it’s your match & you are so in love with them, there will be perfect alignment, everything works and falls into place. I believe that’s what true love brings about 💞

This is so on point, sir! I cannot date/court a man who tries to make me become I’m not. It is healthy when he helps me become the woman I’m destined to be. And my commitment to whoever he may be to do the same. Over the years I’ve found myself attempting to use my love for my man as enough to muddle through whatever issues we were having in our relationship. I now know that love is not enough. Specific parameters, foundations and understanding have to be there for a relationship to work. I will say this; there are some of us women who engage with our men intimately even when we’re stressed, upset, under pressure, etc. I never found myself to be able to not connect with my man unless I was seriously sick or in thriving pain. Intimacy is where God connects us and binds us to our partner. Now with wisdom and time I live abstinent while dating/courting knowing that sex is reserved for marriage between a man and his wife in God’s eyes. Not knocking anyone who is intimate before marriage. Many of us have engaged sexually prior to marriage. I’m no one to judge. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. You’re so wise. “In all thy getting, get understanding. For wisdom is the principle thing.” Sorry for paraphrasing Scripture. I believe this is in Proverbs.

This was OUTSTANDING. Thank you so much!!

I would like for you to have a TV show based on relationships. Singles, couples, possible couples would come on and share and you would help them dig through their issues and figure it out. People could send in letters and emails for you to address on the air. 🙌🏽❤️🙏🏽

i can agree soooul much with you on this video. especially the part where you don't like going out to the same places together. i can totally resonate with that scenario.

I've seen how the issue of differences in spirituality causes so much conflict. As an African, many people believe that they can practice both their Christian and ancestral beliefs. People usually never notice this in the beginning, but once there needs to be a function of some sort then they start to see it.

Thank you for being real. I, too, seen those memes on social media and wholeheartedly agree with you. I refuse to date someone that has all the qualities but I’m simply not attractive to them. I’m not in the business of trying to change a man but willing to accept who they are but the attraction is a deal breaker.

Never a truer video...incredible insight and explanations about incompatibility v connections. I'm in this now and it's a crazy place to be; a very difficult place. We check each other's boxes on what seems to be the important ones, but we're not understanding each other's languages and was of being. So incredibly sad 😥.

Again...another interesting video that has important subtopics that brings enlightenment and clarity to relationship issues that are mostly not spoken about. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 this will definitely help in the selection process, thank u..🙌🏾🙏🏽💙

I have a hair condition and I thought I couldn’t do any better so I settle with “ a looks challenged man” and I’m not say I’m all gorgeous and all but I’m just saying I settle because I didn’t love myself enough . This grown boy that was older than me 11yrs older was ugly inside and out! I was not attracted to him but he grew on me but took a while. I just want people to know to love yourself more than to settle for just any man.

You should make more videos for guys, like why she not the one, how to let her go… why she left without saying anything, why she ghosted… you have alot of experience give it to guys also 👊 great channel btw

How’s this man so wise, I watch these videos and he never speaks a lie. Blessings to you & your life 🧡

I really needed to hear this. Thanks for the knowledge my brother!

I really enjoy your videos. It brings me perspective and answers questions that I have. Thank you

I love how real you are👏🏻

Wow! What a gift Stephan! May God keep blessing you 🙏🏼❤️

Man, this is just reiterating my feelings and thoughts. It’s truly unfortunate, being married to someone who I tried to break up with (twice) before we got married (rushingly got married due to military circumstances) because of our incompatibility and now I feel stuck (because I made a commitment) and it hurts knowing that I will hurt him if I were 100% honest with him about how I feel, because I am feeling more free and happy being physically separated from him (new job in another state). Thank you for this video.

Your topics are on fire👏🙏Thank you! Dang, it even comes down to music, but it's so true! For me, it's the spiritual belief.....like you said Stephan, once decisions have to be made, that's when it becomes a dispute or an issue. If I'm walking in my faith now, I would love my partner to be aligned with me not hinder my growth.

Thank you for sharing your wonderful gift to communicate in such a way that really clarifies the issues. It’s so much easier to navigate when you have the right tools and information! I left a long term committed relationship last year and then I found you on you tube. So many questions nagged at my gut when I was with him and I didn’t know how to tell if he really loved me or not. Now I have the tools to help me distinguish between the real and the counterfeit and to check my own self when I’m being unrealistic or idealistic and making excuses. Thank you!!

Stephan! The "you ain't cute enough to talk to me like that!"🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Killed me!🤣 You always make valid points though. U get a person thinking things THROUGH, cause sometimes we will see the one "off " thing but want to stay cause 'oh well, he does the other two right.' But it's really not the way. You are appreciated. 😊

depending on your partner interest I feel like having different interest doesn’t necessarily make you incompatible because your not going to like every single thing your partner like but you can still experience it with them and make the best of whatever they like vice versa..

Great video. I love the examples. I just ended a 3 year courtship for a lack of compatibility. He is a really great guy. We truly had fun time together However I always planned where we eat, where we go. We never been on vacation together. I needed a little more spontaneity, a planner. A man that says put on your best dress we going to the opera, I have tickets for a great show, are you available for a weekend trip. I felt I am better off by myself and doing all these things for myself not hoping he was that guy and he is not. He is a great guy for someone a little slower. I wish him the best. I love my singleness.

LMAO the music thing has me dying, its so true

All praises to the most high GOD....this was so a confirmation for me. My spirit revealed EVERYTHING you just said to early this morning. It was like having a conversation with myself to myself and for me to come across your page and literally literally hear the same words oh man....my heart is smiling right now. Its so real that its unreal. Thank you JESUS and thank you sir.

Stephan!!! Where have you been all my life? #1 was what I needed to hear 15 years ago! But even if I heard it I probably still needed to experience it to really get the lesson. Lol Thank you 💕

Stephan you are so blessed! Listing of the various point would go so well with these fantastic videos so we can repeat the ones we need to really penetrate our minds.

VERY GREAT POINTS....ALL OF THEM!

This is so on point!!!!!

Great info right from the beginning! 💓

Great point were made! Some people out here think rageful arguments and screaming matches aren't enough to end a relationship oh but it is

What an amazing video! So on point.

This topic is super timeLy for me.

Just wanted to thank you Stephan S. for helping people so much 🙌Just got your second book "Love after heartbreak V.1" , just started to read now, and what I love , that you suggest to have a journal beside the book to take a notes🥰 This book absolutely would recommend to everyone - to ladies and gentlemen 🙌 So drawn in already ❤

Good morning keep it coming thanks for the information I’m at work listening to you right now

Stephan I am so happy I found your channel. You have amazing knowledge. You are changing my life for the better!

Thank you Coach for this video. It was worth the watch as always😄

Great video and content! 😁. Had me thinking about a recent past relationship. I would love for you to do a video about”CONNECTION”. What does that REALLY mean and/or look like? You mentioned connection a lot and I can see how the lines can be blurred between connection and compatibility.

Well spoken Stephan! 👏👏👏👏👏

Thank you, Stephan . Best examples fir compatability issues. I couldn't understand why I couldn't quite completely pour into a man I am dating. The examples you gave are all of my issues