A New Microwave Burger Series Emerges | Ashens 

I've been saying this for 5 years now

I agree 😁

Uh, no.

@@xmlthegreat yeah this whole time he's been eating all the rotten food. Those ancient olives from a shipwreck, he ate them

I mean I wouldn't turn down a £2.50 burger.

And most hilarious. My screen and keyboard are thankful I wasn't drinking anything when he said it.

@@JonasClarkI was drinking a can of Monster when I came back to this the other day. Safe to say some of it went on the desk.

haha!

69th like, nice

Nice that I‘m not the only one. Even tho I was just spitting out my drink through my nose.

Haha wish I could construct sentences like you but I'm just lazy nowadays 😩

He died as he lived eating a mango yogurt with granola, that would have been a great thing to put on a tombstone.

Shame he didn't follow through (so to speak) with the open goal that was Ed's Incredibly Difficult Bowel Movement.

@@peterclarke7240 Nobody wants to watch this poor man shit bricks after eating the disgusting things he did.

@@peterclarke7240 🤣

Hell yeah. Menus in Akkadian cuneiform, a barter based payment system, the threat of violent expulsion for not being able to quote, verbatim, the Irish Code Duello, and massive discounts only available by arriving with the clap, or letting the bouncers smack you, and anyone you were with in the face with an iron gauntlet as you sat down. Any complaints were dealt with on site, by the manager and some blokes from a non comedy iteration of the Spanish Inquisition, who were handy with red hot pincers, and a spiky iron chair. Now that's a night out in anybody's books.

He is certainly warming up the items.

What the heck is your problem ???

@@mvi6744 i think the question here is: whats YOUR problem?

@@mvi6744 how can you be this confused but somehow found your way to this comment section

@@anarcho-pingu What is they're just a very buff psychologist? Maybe they meant "Hey bro, what the heck is your problem??? I'm here for you if you need me bro, I'll do my best to help you dude.", but because they have more muscle than brain it didn't come out right. After all, steroids make things other than your peepee smaller too.

I literally laughed out loud when he said that

@McFlickers the mother wants more and that's the only rubber her son has

genuinely literally and with no irony whatsoever actually what did he mean by this

i died

something, something Chris Chan

Dud and Pete would be proud.

That sentence in that voice evoked in me a new emotion. Not necessarily a good emotion, but something new.

*slurp*

new CapriSun flavour

I am 10000% for this, yes please

This should be pinned

Whatever did Barry's family do to deserve such fate?...

@@SQron188 Their reactions are too good, so they brought it on themselves.

Great idea

I had an interesting experience while traveling across the southern coast of Ireland years ago. At many of the restaurants I went to, the menus had at least one item with the words "Cajun" or "New Orleans" to describe it. As someone who grew up in Louisiana, I had to try these items to see what their interpretation of "Cajun" tasted like. Most dishes were still rather bland despite their best efforts.

@@chadschmaltz9790 I live in south Louisiana, and have Cajun relatives. (I guess I'm technically Cajun, but I'm kind of a basic white person, a total mutt.) Many years ago, a film was being made here, and the film crew would end their filming days at a bar my dad would go to. He wound up hanging out with them, talking about whatever came up... One night they were discussing the food in the area, so of course my dad asked what they thought about the local food. One of the women in the group said that she really didn't like the Cajun food here, and that it wasn't as good as the Cajun food back home. Dad asked where home was, and she replied, "... California." The laughter... Oh my gosh, the laughter. Poor, sweet innocent girl. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having a preference for the California "Cajun" food, but... The food here is the real deal.

@@migt0w I’m from Texas so hope you don’t mind me chiming in but you can’t go wrong with a good Jambalaya

@@LaynieFingers oof, that clown make up she must’ve had on became permanent after that statement.

You need more quotations

Yeah but one day he might decide to quit or worse

He makes me feel much better about eating leftover Chinese takeout.

Best microwave bap is to buy walls microwave sausages stick it on a bap with cheese

Or a bad day for him when he gets his hands on a nice sausage!!!!

Food?! Is that what it is?!?!

Chris Who?

@@skylined5534 *YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW*

Trust me on this one: You don't wanna know. Audrey, don't tell. Ya shouldn'ta told me but you did, and now I'm telling you: you don't wanna know.

It's a name I know, but I know nothing about it's owner. I can GUESS, and it I've guessed correctly, I do not wish to know.

No... NooooooooOOOOOOOO

i think thats a pretty normal effect from a cheap burger

How does that make sense to you? You cant pick up you own shit and convert it to money. geez

@@jayinniss8965 *Whoosh* Takes a big brain to understand this joke

Gives a whole new meaning to the "Food Stuff" intro.

@@jayinniss8965 people do, unfortunately

Legit feels like a time machine everytime i watch his stuff

Same beautiful brown couch

@@sawedoffshottyshane9637 That couch needs to become a national heritage when he decides to throw in the towel

"Adapt or die" Ashens:

not true he spends more on makeing videos now! after all there things at pound land that cost more than a pound!

I was wondering what was so easy about them, but his explanation makes it clear.

"I took a job at a diner... but the kitchen had a list with 5 RULES??!!"

We didn't even have time to eat fries.

It's like the Key Lime Pie thing all over again.

HYPERREALISTIC PATTY

I am VERY EXCITED to see what kind of shit advent they do for this year!

I can hear the retching already.

dan joined that cult of whinging, guilt-ridden tree-huggers. the 'karens' of food.

Hooves and beaks end up in Haribo.

@@Okurka. eh? I got told it was pig fat!

@@korahall5540 Nah, gelatin comes from hooves.

@@SiobhanJohnson and bones and gristle too. All those delicious bits.

@@Okurka. omfg really 😭 😳 😫

Would love to see some MRE's on here.

@@swahilimaster He's actually done one. I think it was Estonian. EDIT: _...nice._

Man that crossover episode needs to happen.

@@varietywiarrior I now NEED this to happen.

@@varietywiarrior Steve's biceps and Stuart's bald head... I don't think I could contain myself. EDIT: _...nice._

Ha, truth.

The ones at Johnny Rocket's definitely worked when I was a kid.

And a trip to the mental asylum, because he's gone completely delusional by claiming that the hot dog bun split when he took it out, when it bloody did not.

@@IvanovIvanAKrutoi lol

You know the Ambulance has a parking spot outside his house.

Nah he just douses his stomach in vodka afterwards

Another trip? His private stomach pump is within arm's length.

Yes! I've never understood this! It's cheaper and easier to buy a normal hot dog and a fresh bun.

I always thing them cheap hotdogs are made of lips and bum holes

@@pallsmortion4750 any problem with that if its edible?

@@DaGleese Even cheaper to just get the store brand hotdogs and some store brand bread. Might cost like 1.97 CAD for the (original style) pack of hotdogs and 1.67 Canadian Dollars for the loaf of (white) bread

@@josephswolin7450 I just don't want my mouth around then parts of a pig

Channeling his inner Pete and Dud.

@@MrVivallo that and the damn thing is probably at least 60 years old. Purely mechanical

@@jeenkzk5919 Honestly the only jukebox I've ever seen in a diner is the digital one you find at a Waffle House.

@@Calvin_Coolage Went to a roadhouse chain (forgot which one) and it had a digital jukebox. Waffle House, definitely.

@@Calvin_Coolage I’m in the US. It’s funny you mention Waffle House, they used 70s jukeboxes that played the latest 45s up until about 2010 when it was replaced by an internet jukebox.

I know a diner where the jukebox still works, but I'm fairly sure the only part of it that's actually mechanical is the selection knob, with everything else being just digital music piped over the loudspeaker.

Fr, I have never seen a "standard" bun on a footlong in my life

They served that for school lunch sometimes at my elementary school and I remember it being actually pretty awesome

Literally no one in America eats a foot long hot dog like that, so werid

@@mukmewx I guess some people are above Sonic.

Dunno, looks pretty cool really even if it’s impractical

This guy is one of my favorite British, people lol.

Wish we had it in the States so peeps know what they be eating! 🤣

@@lovelyheiferdev a tip at least, ingredients are always ordered from most to least. Then if there's small amounts of extra stuff it will say "Contains 2% or Less of the Following:"

@@lovelyheiferdev If peeps in the US knew what they were eating, they wouldn't be eating it though, and we can't have that. Billionaires need to make their money somehow, you know?

Thank you for this knowledge intelligent stranger ;)

I'm in Australia, where such labelling is mandatory. Note that the percentages are BY WEIGHT. So from the Chicken Thingie at 10:05 - the largest component is the "Chicken with Fried Coating" which is 57% of the total weight. They forgot the % for the Brioche Bun, however Cheese Slice is 9% and Bacon Rashers 6% - so that's 57+9+6= 72% of the total. We'll have to guess that the Bun makes up the rest. BTW - that labelling wouldn't be legal in Australia, because they haven't been clear on which ingredient is in which component, and the percentage for the bun is not specified for either burger (I didn't check the hotdog).

Agreed. I was born, raised, and have lived all of my 51+ years in the continental United States. I have eaten at a number of diners. I have NEVER had mac and cheese on a burger. (I will now look for it, however.)

Yeah, the beef isn't full of hormones and the chicken hasn't been dipped in chlorine.

frozen tat

*Iceland

Doesn't really matter though, most of your food products are shit over in the USA. Loaded full of additives and nasty chemicals. No wonder most are obese. Greedy food corporations don't care about the consumer. Capitalism at its finest.

Then he said off to cook this

The generation these days seem to be more into coffee than tea.

@@Bill_Stranix james bond hates tea too

@@beagleboygaming1701 everyone loves tea. Even Bond. Oh and eastern Europeans who we are beginning to train.

@Teamgeist Don't really understand why pretentious prats keep referring to us as the "colonies". Pot meet kettle.

@@Bill_Stranix I hate coffee. Part of gen z

Exactly. I've only seen such a thing over here at upscale gourmet local burger places. Any other place that serves burgers opts for the standard kind with maybe one or two more common things like bacon, barbecue sauce, sometimes mushrooms, or maybe the most eclectic ones will put like an onion ring or something on there. I know of some places that have (or had) Mac and Cheese Dogs, but those are also quite rare. Not something you can get at a McDonalds.

There's a (somewhat shitty) local diner chain here that had one a while back called the Trump Tower Burger (if you'll pardon the expression) and I ordered it because I'll try anything that's had mac and cheese unnecessarily slopped on top of it, it was not great tbh

It’s what people in Europe imagine us Americans eat 😂

@@davidfl4 Well We do, it’s just not a diner food.

@@Savannah_Simpson idk I’ve never had Mac and cheese on a burger and my mother finds the idea revolting. This sounds like something people from the Midwest would do but I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been there.

And now I'm hungry...

Yeah that's what meat is

Hahahaha

You know why I don't like vegans? Because they constantly want to talk about being vegans. I'm a very proud meat eater! 🌈

@@robertschnobert9090 having pride in your diet is weird whether you’re a vegan or a meat eater

i lost my shit cos it was so funny.🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Remind me to never go near Norfolk for as long as I live

“Yer sister is yer mother Yer uncle is yer brother…” 😂

Only if your car isn't also a boat, like some kind of peasant!

What it’s only across the pond

@@jarreddean2094 Right? Just drive around it lmao

@@rihardsrozans6920 considering the suspension of most cars in my neck of the woods you could probably plow right through it.

TWO BROKEN ARMS

@@Clay3613 didn't whang do a vid on that?

@McFlickers Not something I intend to think about anymore than I have... I'm sure it's perfectly innocent. I choose for it to be perfectly innocent.

@McFlickers Why go full Freudian? Maybe she took him to a sex worker? Maybe he was creepy and she decided he needed to learn how to protect himself; practicing on a bit of rude fruit! A young aubergine or courgette. Utterly intrusive, but not... not... that!

@McFlickers How safe could anyone be with macaroni and cheese lubricant?

There's a special kind of pleasure when enough time has passed to re-watch an Ashens series.

Go have a look at the entree in a MRE 😂

@@galliman123 no don’t ruin his innocence like that i’ve seen the ingredients list on those things reads like a bloody chemistry set

I live in America and I would have a hard time in finding someone that would eat this garbage.😂.

This is what you serve on date night if it’s not going well and you’d rather not continue forward.

This probably is for immigrant heavy areas and will see it and think it's fancy

Yeah, £5 for two of these for your romantic date night? that'll get you three litres of white cider which is far more romantic.

*almost*

These are very much designed for the sort of single man who can't get their shit together for long enough to make a sandwich or beans on toast. There's an alarmingly high number of us over here 😂

I suppose a hot dog is technically a frankfurter burger?

@McFlickers I-it’s a joke…. I mean come on, are people *seriously* this daft?

@McFlickers damn I can taste the copium from here

@McFlickers the irony is real strong here

Right like what the hell is "American style mustard"

@@riabouchinska in the UK we say American mustard for the mild vinegar based mustard that you’d have on fries like French’s, to distinguish from English mustard like Colman’s which is more of a hot ground mustard seed paste, quite reminiscent of wasabi or horseradish

@@veveraine07 Oh I see... I don't think we have the English mustard, we have the gross bright yellow stuff and then like Polish and German mustard and Dijon and stuff like that

the american style sections in stores are usually “american” candies like nerds and swedish fish, and burgers and pizzas are sometimes labelled as american despite being nearly identical to the stuff we have here

I went into an American store in London. It was pretty much a gas station. And cereal. I never eat any of the stuff in there but it was fun.

Me, sitting here sipping whiskey after eating two hamburgers for brunch: Oy!

yeah it’s pretty much the same here in the US, “all beef” is generally what you want to go with for a quality (or at least as quality as they get) dog

see i don't like the taste of beef hotdogs not that I dislike beef it's just I prefer a cut of steak for my beef consumption

The meat inside fails to matter if you don't use a hotdog roller

@@davehoward22 only if you're eating low grade crap. A quality butchers have good sausages and top brands.

I havent seen mechanical chicken in years in the uk

I came here to say just that, but I see I've been beaten to it. Damn. But it's the *entire* patty, not just the part made from a once-living fowl.

@@ghughesarch Credit to you for pointing out the full composition.

Entree? Pretty sure a burger isn't considered a starter.

@@BenjaminGoose I believe "entree" is used in the US to mean what we refer to in the UK as a "main course". I've always thought that it sounded more like it meant starter too, but apparently that isn't the case...

Entree means starter

hotdogs that come in glass jars? that's just weird. Why wouldn't you just have the vacuum sealed plastic packaging. but yeah I think it sounds like a much better idea to get a pack of hotdogs which are already pre-cooked and can be microwaved themselves then just make your own with bottled ketchup and mustard. Seems like that would be the better way to go

@@ram89572 generally the sealed packs I've seen in UK stores are refrigerated items, the glass jars aren't. Presumably because the jars are filled with brine?

Sad sawdust for sure... ...with a spritz of pig doink.

It could be oats like how McDonald’s burgers were

He should talk to his GP if there's shit in his stomach

Allegedly.

I feel more sorry for W. C. Ubend, his trusty loo.

never forget century egg

I honestly don't know how he keeps doing this, he must have the world's best immune system 😂

I will say that here in Australia, it's always called tomato sauce, you never call it "ketchup". So maybe the person writing copy was just Australian?

It's sort of interchangeable in the UK, though I suspect ketchup is more commonly used now. When I was a kid, many moons ago, nobody called it ketchup unless they had delusions of grandeur.

I'm in the UK and don't know anyone who says ketchup, everyone uses 'tomato sauce'

also diabetes

If you've ever been to a Waffle House on a late Friday night / Saturday morning... it is indeed whiskey AND depression. _You're both right!_

@@goldensloth7 nah obesity we love our fried foods

@@Jason1920 nothing reads “I’ve lost complete control of my life” like that statement you just said but yea just replace whiskey with a Black Russian ( Coffee and vodka for anybody was wondering looking at you RU-vid)

When I think of the taste of American diners I immediately imagined biting into a jukebox

That's what I thought, at one point I thought this was an out of date food video when he mentioned Ed's opened in the 80's.

Eds at an Bluewater was a usual visit for me..love it.

Yeah it’s like he found it in a locker with a couple of Bobby pins

Oh... that's why it looks like cold war food

@@OldPetRiver Along with some Fancy Lads Snack Cakes.

And I thought wimpys were rare

it's upstairs in chapelfield (shopping centre) but it's honestly nothing special, there's a reason it's going down the shitter

@@Eisofice there's a Wimpy still standing in my local town centre but I've never tried it. Tempted to though before my town centre gets redeveloped, is Wimpy any good?

@@harogenkitnsg2474 I've fond memories of whimpy from when I was younger. No idea what it's like these days. Worth going for the novelty!

@@thoomish3556 wait I've been there 🤯

Well now, imagine if this comment had a use by date... we'd all die of food poisoning. Not to mention overuse...

I mean you can literally go out to any grocery store and buy both type of cut buns there….. There’s no universal rule for the cut. This is coming from someone who has lived in multiple states.

@@SahiPie I’ve lived in multiple states, and almost never see top cut, though I’m sure you can find them.

@@droppedpasta Walmart carries them nationwide across different brands (Used to work there so this one was right off the top of my head), Shop-Rite has them in the NY area, Tom Thumb and Albertsons in Texas off the top. Seen them in smaller chains across a spread of other states. Just a couple there.

My local supermarket specifically calls those buns "New England Style*

I live in the Northeast US (NJ/NYC area), you'll find the buns sliced on the side 90% of the time but you can also find buns sliced from the top pretty easily nowadays too. Top-sliced hotdog buns seem to have gotten fairly popular in recent years.

Yes.... polish the turd Ashens

This is Ashens.he's basically been doing whatever he fucking wants for 10 years. He is technically a food review channel that doesn't show his face and only eats old or frozen shit. He's technically a toy review channel that only reviews toys and decorations from pound shops on an old dirty couch. He's been doing this so long, in spite of everything. What you suggested is logical. What part of Ashens is logical?

That would involve giving twice as much money to the insane people who make these.

I would also recommend heating the bun in a proper oven.

Considering the hot dog, I don’t know if he would want 2 bad meals instead of one. Maybe just rebuy the likes to cook differently?

That's called British customer service. The only difference is the food is just as insulting as the waiters.

Go to wong hei

WOW LATE REPLY, but there's a place in the Carolinas called Haps Grill. I understand they've expanded their menu *very slightly* since I've been, but when I went you could get: A Chili Cheeseburger, crisps and a Pepsi (not a Pepsi product, a Pepsi) Or, a Chili Cheeseburger With Cheese, crisps and a Pepsi. (Which had an additional slice of cheese sealing in the chili which made it nicer to eat) No you can't modify your order. Take it or leave it. They're open on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12-2, and if you'd like to stand and eat your meal then you're more than welcome to do so. They've provided a counter ringing the checkout area for that purpose. Best burger I've ever had, and it's not even close. Crisps and Pepsi were okay.

@@witmoreluke whats a pepsiless pepsi

I actually went back to the old one and checked. If it did break exactly in half, then he edited it out. And it was too straight an edge to be a break anyway.

He still doesn't seem to understand what he did wrong lol.

Ironically the best burgers I've had were marinated in Asian seasoning. Soy sauce, mirin, Sriracha, etc.

Nice Interstella 5555 pfp

Growing up poor in the UK in the 80s, I thought burgers were what posh people ate. I shit you not. 😂

Imagine the worst quality frozen Anglo-made "asian" food, and an English person saying "I thought it was difficult to cook at home without special equipment". PS: There is no special equipment needed to cook a hamburger.

A friend of mine used to work at Ed's years ago and at least where he was most food was frozen, but cooked like a normal human would do it, so much like how McDonalds and so on do it. Could be different at other locations though.

@@MickMod The Ed’s near me has really good food but I think they might be a spin-off of Ed’s easy diner and not actually affiliated.

Gas / convenience stores sell a lot of them too. Some are good, some are awful. A whole new world of flavors for one to explore! I like the Jimmy Dean breakfast sammies. Those seem to be the best. I've tried Smithfield's and Bob Evan's, which are just OK. And then of course there is McD's and the other chains. I always crave a McD's sausage and egg muffin when I have a hangover. Thankfully, that doesn't happen too often. If I'm at home, I find it's better to just make a breakfast sammie from scratch. At least you know what's in it.

I recommend Brutalmoose's video on frozen breakfasts

Kershaw's is a brand that does some stuff like that, and it's not terrible for the cost

Where in the fuck do you see frozen *omelettes*

@@SahiPie You can get them at Walmart or Sams sold under the Jimmy Dean brand name! It’s kind of odd but it’s real!

Pavlov's hot dog.

@@doctorcraptonicus7941 I see what you did here, Doctor

I like the name "Cheef"

"Sausage inna bun" makes me think of Rincewind. And yes... instant regret!

@@LaynieFingers Yeah, I didn't remember the description of Dibbler's hot dogs, but I did remember that they were tubes of I.R.

@@wesleythomas7125 Yes! I couldn't remember Dibbler's name, so together we figured it out? 😝

@@LaynieFingers Guess we did :)

My autistic brother won't eat any other brand of hot dog. He'll eat any quality pork sausage out there, but only bar-s hot dogs, and only that waxy pre-cooked bacon.

I enjoy those mostley because i grew up with them, they just taste nostalgic to me.... but ya bottom of the barrel misc food paste in the shape of a tube

Bar-S bacon is surprisingly good though.

Uggh bar-s. I've always hated that brand. They make literally the worst tasting meat products. Once I accidently bought the chicken hot dogs from bar-s and my dog wouldn't even eat one.

Not just suspiciously cheap, but scary cheap.