This is not a Big Mac. It's a microwave burger | Ashens 

this was probably good LOL

Theres a microwave burger in Germany from a brand i can't remember but what I remember was that it has been the best microwave burger i've ever had. It can easily compete with MCDonald's/Burger King's Hamburger and even the sauce that was coming with it tasted excactly the same like the one from Burger King.

Ashen could probably eat half a Sega Saturn and it'd not be the worst thing he'd had.

*wet-dog-scented thousand year eggs flashbacks*

@@beabea5985 mmmm.. wet dog

The 100 year old olives come to mind.

@@herbiehusker1889 Keep him away from the frozen wholly mammoth

@@herbiehusker1889 180 year old olives you mean.

"If it's out of date when your grandparents were born, it's worth a shot"

Textbook damning with faint praise. “Hey, this is food!” And all that.

@@Himurochan599 he copied it from the "mad cow disease doesn't affect horse meat burgers" RU-vid channel. They have great unboxings.

It's a funny copypasta, but when you realize that horse meat costs a whole lot more than beef meat, why on earth would an insanely profit-conscious company like McDonalds (or Taco Bell, as also gets brought up on this) ever do that?

@@SmaMan It was the supermarkets and cheap meat suppliers who did it. Not pedigree horses!

Neigh! Say it isnt so

@@SmaMan Couldnt even happen in the USA because horse meat is banned.

Without a doubt]

Or, what's left of it, anyway.

Assuming the one or two segments of it that are still intact don't disintegrate like the rest of them did.

Hell, I think that burger could be preserved in a museum one day, having shown absolutely no signs of aging at all.

That sofa is a Bio Hazard.

A box of chicken Mcnugglets please.

Or a lovely Beesechurger

And a Malkshake. He says making an ancient Simpsons reference.

Kids love the Jolly Meal (TM)

We get it son. You're verified.

(frozen)

I was gonna comment this

It was oddly satisfying...

so wholesome 100 chungus

Same. That was an amazing sound.

piping referred to the whistling or spitting noise that hot liquids and food make.

And here's me thinking it meant the kind of heat the Romans fed through clay pipes when they were melting things like silver and gold.

Nerd alert 🚨

It's just the sound, not a physical pipe but otherwise yeah

That's a neat thing to know. Thanks!

and the Surstromming

@@ACanOfBakedBeans he actually made it seem like it wasnt that bad, then again he cheated and opened it under water which took most of the fun out of it, he said it just tasted like salt

It will never get old

simplicity is key in a world gone mad

Thank god! Proof covid is ending if Ashens can risk poisoning himself again.

@@kazuhiramiller2121 Wait 150 years like those olives!

@@hicknopunk Ashens has super immunity, he's immune to every pathogen on earth because he has already injested them all.

Instructions not clear...somehow I ended up with a hotdog

It's like putting "and enjoy" at the end of your instructions. If the product isn't enjoyed, the person preparing it didn't follow the instructions properly.

Reminds of these candy burgers that come in parts and you "assemble" them. Or basically eating two at once. And I vaguely remember some packs aimed at school children which was basically a small slice of processed cheese, some "meat" and a pair of crackers.

@@HappyBeezerStudios Sounds like Lunchables! Thats how they are: some Ritz crackers, a few pieces of meat and some small squares of cheese, paired with a pouch drink, and candy or cookies, thusly is somehow a meal

"Assemble the product into a booger"

Not super relevant but you remind me of the one bad morning I forgot to put a mug under my pod coffee machine and then just sort of watched it dribble all over the bench

@@AgentTasmania Oh that happened to me as well, more than once

They've probably done their best to make them meatless too. Soy protein, fat, gristle (for texture) and salt.

@@chaos.corner if it ain't beef then I don't want it

having just had tooth surgery to take out two busted teeth from "boned" burger meat - yeah man. fuck that shit.

​@@HuskyGamersUNITEten years ago, I also had to extract a tooth after lucking upon a random bone in a cheeseburger.

@@HuskyGamersUNITEnow that reminds me that I need to make another appointment to finish my rebuild.

But they should. Eaten more bone bits than I would like.

They need better shaker screens

What if they should?

Actually nearly all burgers, and anything else that is processed meat, DO carry this warning. Checking in my freezer I see that both Birdseye Quarter Pounders, and the Morrisons own-brand equivelant, have this exact phrase on.

Pretty much all processed, packaged meat product comes with this warning.

What TheWolfePit calls a 'formed meat-slurry concoction patty".

Eh. Doesn't sound pleasant but it's not necessarily bad.

You know, most burgers also contain that, they just list it under "beef"

The UK is a lot more strict about ingredient listings than the US is. If we had that over here, all that stuff would just be labeled "Beef" or "Chicken".

Stop it you are making me hungry

Nah this is something you buy at Aldi, throw in your freezer and dig out later when you’re starving

@sotuur aeei *alot

@@theyamo7219 *a lot

tbh salt is the preferred preservative. They use all kinds of creepy chemicals nowadays that are...less than ideal to ingest. Some are even petroleum derivatives, idk how they get away with that stuff.

@@taylorstanley4379 Everything in nature is a "chemical" even water is a chemical. You chemophobes crack me up

@@theyamo7219 and? It's pretty clear I'm talking about synthetic compounds created in a lab but hey, keep beating up that strawman. He DOES sound pretty stupid. Want me to help you? Lol look at this idiot who doesn't know what a chemical is 🤣😂 he thinks water is bad. Well that was fun. But sometime you should check out things like sodium nitrite/nitrate, they're often found in processed meats, bacon, beef jerky, and it's pretty bad for you. You can avoid this by going for uncured meats pretty much exclusively, and always checking frozen food packaging. Have fun being a know-it-all on the internet and stroking your own ego.

That's the same reaction I had... Just full-body "nope."

You think McDongle patties are different?

@@eins2001 100% beef, they just don't tell you which parts

@@eins2001 100% flank and forequarter, so yes they are different. The "Big Stack" has beef fat, chicken fat, and beef connective tissue added to what is already present, along with flour as a filler, soya protein as an extender, and a humectant to keep it from drying out.

@@bilkyasko Yum

As he said "best before is a guideline only. so you could eat it 20 years later" And we know he has eaten much older stuff than that.

For once this joke has a place

Nein, Kilian!

I think that's the only time I've ever seen someone make this joke and it both a. made fucking sense and b. was actually funny, good job

@@GiraffeFlavoredCondoms Entirely subjective

@@GiraffeFlavoredCondoms Exactly

More like "FROZEN arcs"! Wendy's joke, not mine.

Coming to America reference? I love it.

McDowell's

And their mascot Raul McDowell

amazing reference

Wow I must have replayed that 100 times. I feel at peace.

u ruined the video for me. i cant finish it cause i keep repeating this scene. what a masterpiece

"the bun"

*pop*

Quicksters is Lidl's or Aldi 's own brand version.

Just needs a really blatant Macsters to complete it.

Doo doo Dee doo doo! 🎼🎵🎶👨‍🍳

"An Excellent Bootleg"

And Chef Mike from Kitchen Nightmares

Chef Excellence, now that's a name I haven't heard in a long long time...

An Excellent Burger.

You dare diss the sofa!?

@@Chaos89P Blasphemy!

He also used to not put adverts in his video where he says to go check something out.

@@joshuaschritz8151 At least the thing he's advertising is something he made, and not some box of random snacks.

@@Chaos89P forgive me for I have sinned

Why is RU-vid itself replying to Ashens?

Hello, mister RU-vid.

Hi Mr Tube!

@@leons.kennedy2747 Paying tribute

Beg that you get rid of double ads.

Clocked this as a Brit like 7 years ago, it’s close enough lol

Which is a slightly different Russian dressing.

I thought it was a slightly different burger sauce?

It's nothing like Thousand Island. It contains no tomato. It's mayo, mustard, pickle relish and MSG

But not the same "slightly different" as In-N-Out burger spread, or various other "secret sauces", "burger sauces", or "fry sauces". A vaguely orange, tangy,. somewhat sweet, mostly mayonaisse-based sauce, often but not always with chopped pickles or pickle relish.

*pop*

@@PinkKirlia281 I guess Stuart forgot to use a pop shield while recording...

@@KernelLeak Good. I don't want to be robbed of such a satisfying sound. lol

@@PinkKirlia281 I thought he'd added it at first and thought it weirdly clever, but after a couple playbacks I'm fairly sure it was a A MIRACLE!

Oh god, the flashbacks! 🤮

Ashens’ reaction to seeing the bun in that can is the greatest reveal in cinematic history

Chicken in a can comes to mind too 😵

"Margarita, wouldn't wanna eat ya."

@@Anyone_Else_Think One of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

Snacksters burger: the sworn enemy of the banana

@@BrainScramblies look up the "boneless" meme, friend

Can I get uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh... boneless chezpurger?

My god I thought it was a joke written on there by Stuart but Jesus Christ that’s actually horrifying

My advice is clean yer goddamn grinder after you make dog food and before you make the el cheapo human food people....

can I get uuhhhhhhhh 🅱️önêlèss 🅱️örgër

Blatantly trying to not catch a lawsuit

"an excellent observation"

The description of that meat is probably one of the most viscerally upsetting things I've read in a while, bravo.

That's poetic. Horrifying poetry, but nonetheless

you know how they have conveyors that shake the meat to separate the good pieces from the scraps? these burgers are made from the scraps that fall through the grate

WcDonald’s is Japanese, though. XD

n...no, it's big wac

I also like the Bergur Monarch Womper, yum!

@@artamussumatra6286 I prefer the Windy's Baconeater.

Big Stack sounds like the crackhead gangsta wannabe cousin of Big Mac.

Man's eating a Bag Mic

That’s what caught my eye. Well the actual disclaimer anyway. They’re taking every precaution to not be held liable for this junk

Give Slepp your bones!

Dang, this went right in the amplitude

@@NeoGroFabius - It definitely looked modular.

@@RFC-3514 dang you beat me to it

Don't you go bringing your attention to detail around here!

I literally just made the exact 1st part of this post lol

It's missing for a reason lol... It's basically just saying you can cook it microwave old style

This expression was used as early as late medieval times, referring to the steam that shot out of a spouted tea kettle, a device in use at least since ancient Mesopotamia. In other words, “piping hot” means “boiling hot.”

This is irrelevant, but “Piping Hot” is also the name of an Australian clothing and swimwear company

There’s really no way you can microwave bread without ruining it

Oddly enough, though, soft *pretzels* don't have this drawback -- they're naturally supposed to be sort of a 'chewy rubber' texture, and a microwave doesn't ruin them one bit. Which begs the question: why aren't there more microwavable *pretzel burgers* on the market?

That's why you put the buns in the toaster separately.

That's why some clever person invented toasters that act as mini grilling machines

always seperate all parts of the burger and mircowave at the same time but not together

Does tf stand for transformation? TF is my favorite fetish! 🌈

Thank fuck?

@@ollieb9875 the fuck?

@@robertschnobert9090 it means the fuck. 😂

@@robertschnobert9090 😂, tf = the fuck

the closest one is over 3700 miles from here, so shipping the frozen ones is pretty much the only option

burger queef

love you

Ashens is truly the best background noise. Interesting enough to be entertaining but not stressful or distracting. Plus there's like... So much because he's been at it for so long. Literally my cleaning playlist.

As an earphone user, I also appreciate this. Nothing worse than watching a nice relaxing video then some random shouting makes you shit yourself.

Friendly Reminder to break out the mop again! 🧹👍🛁

"Dit is geen Big Mac. Het is een magnetronburger" I can imagine your confusion, maybe buy a wider monitor? :P Je bent niet de enigste nederlandse Ashens fan. ;)

@@nutterts When people say "notification" in this context, it's most likely a mobile app they're referencing.

@@nutterts er zijn er meer dan je denkt

@@tech6985 Hoe weet je hoeveel ik denk dat er zijn??? Ik wist het... 5G. ;)

You wish there was some cartilage in there

@@niccerkadoabuckado8256 I like my burger with a chew

It's still quite hot, been out of microwave for several minutes after been NUKED

onna stick!

I read good burger as gmod burger and was confused for a second.

@Lassi Kinnunen 81 I meant uncooked frozen patties, not something microwavable. Where I live in Canada, we can get really good quality frozen burgers at reasonable prices. I think we can all agree that the less said about canned burgers the better. 🤢

@@Theotherevil21 😂😂

@Bare Knuckle We do make them from scratch as well. But if I can get a good deal on a pack of good quality frozen burgers, I'm going to take it.

@Lassi Kinnunen 81 I know that the point of microwavable meals is their convenience and short cooking time. And I used my mw all the time, for reheating and making frozen meals, until it broke about 6 months ago. I haven't replaced it, and I haven't missed it. I'm cooking more meals from scratch, and leftovers reheated in the toaster oven taste way better than when I warmed them up in the mw. I didn't know that frozen McD's burgers were even a thing!! I'd be very interested in trying them. I used to buy Big Mac sauce for my burgers, but it's not sold in Canada anymore.

He eats "close to" garbage to stave off eating actual garbage......

Yes we all remember the Whole chicken in a can

With all the preservatives that are in the foods he eats he will get to 100 years

I do this on a regular basis and have no reasonable explanation for treating my body this way.

@@CricketEngland We were never to acknowledge the existence of that.... thing! 😬 😬 😬

Well at least Ashens will get a bit more ad revenue then.

seems like quite the experience

I bought and ate one of these, all the time narrating to myself and wishing I had a brown sofa.

@@mswjsm should've shamelessly copied him

It's basically whatever they catch around the factory floor...

The packaging would probably make a better meal.

It's wild that humans normalized being able to sell people unhealthy rubbish.

I used to wonder how they made beef flavour crisps. I came to the conclusion they rubbed the (unpeeled) potatos against a cow.

@@aether5031 Yes, catering to the desires for people to want cheap, salty, fatty, calorically dense food is indeed "wild".

Classic!

"There's a whole fucking bun? That's it, channel's over. Can't top that"

Gagging sounds intensify.

"Channel's yours now, Dan. Do with it as you will!"

Exactly. Pro-tip, kids: if it warns you of bones it ain't ground beef.

All good meat is 80% bone

Yeahhhhh... Meat grinder go brrr

"From which animal?" "Uhh... bone"

Read as: "Warning: this is processed to hell and back"

Eddy Murphy sad child face 😫

Big Mac at home: *tentacle smile

i just buy 2 rustlers and make a big mac out of them and its only £2

@PestoMayo is that a meme joke? I've never seen that in the comments.

@@girlsdrinkfeck I've never had a Rustlers, but that probably a better use of 2 pounds than this.......thing.

Specifically a shady brothel that was trying to be trendy in the 90’s. Gotta attract some totally radical clientele!

And where exactly would this hypothetical brothel be located?

@@ItsDSP Amsterdam

@@Bilyb5579 interesting

@@ItsDSP vietnam ? Thailand ?

Who is Chef Mike? 🌈

@@robertschnobert9090 search Chef Mike Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares

That would be the case if he wasn't thrown off the window. :D

Unfortunately I do not happen to own a void of any color, so I'll just serve it on a plate.

Microwaving yesterday's pizza? You mean eating it cold directly out of the fridge whole filling your beard with that odd orange grease.

Another trick is to have sort of microwave safe grill rost. If the bun doesn't touch the plate it won't drown in it's own juices. Or even better, get one of these small toaster ovens. About the size of a microwave (so you could just stack them), less work than heating up the big oven, runs on a normal wall plug (so it works even in the smallest single kitchen), and great for toasting and reheating bread. Those George Foreman-style grills also work, but if you close it, you'll get cheese everywhere.

bk do the same

If anyone’s wondering, am teenager that currently works at McDonalds now. There’s no microwave involved in the process now, the buns are separated and toasted immediately before the burger is assembled, and the meat is kept in trays in a heated shelf/oven-type thing, so no microwave now

@@jesuschristonabike8878 How much money do you earn? $ per hour and what country?

@@hexagonist23 in america its 17.50$ for mcds workers

​@@AlanMartinez-ev8vlwhere tf are you making that

lol they can't get my order right most of the time and then think they deserve $15 an hour?

@@ThoroughlyBaked Who the hell are "they"? Your experiences with a crappy employee doesn't reflect an entire chain.

@@ThoroughlyBaked so pressed that a few people got your order wrong that you think an entire workforce doesnt deserve a living wage. Thats pretty cringe

@@idna832 I worked in fast food for more than a decade, there is nothing that a bottom tier McDonald's employee does that merits $15 an hour, plain and simple. $15 an hour isn't even a livable wage anyway and it's a flawed 2nd hand talking point to claim it as such, but that's besides the point that most people at the entry level position are not trying to support themselves financially. I am no capitalist rightwinger either, I am realistic.

@@idna832 What's actually cringe is not realising that a full time, minimum wage job is enough for any single, individual person living alone to support themselves if they actually live within their means. If you want more, do more. If you do the bare minimum, expect the bare minimum.

yes

So satisfying I had to replay it a few times

It literally syncs like it actually made that noise. Super satisfying

@@MystLs i thought it actually made that noise lmaoo

@@MystLs Hold up. It didn't make that sound? lol

Well, it has nowhere to go but up....

@@SgtPotShot And it'll still taste better than a Big Muck from MuckyD's.

By then, Steve1989MREInfo might be tempted to eat it.

@@MathewHaswell Nowhere near old enough for him.

usable human bones

Two partially-beef patties, regular sauce, lettuce (not included), "cheese", bones, cartilage on a sesame seed bun.

Guaranteed it would hit the spot, at least it would for my rock-bottom standards when I’m drunk

You're likely already drunk when you bought the burger! Just go to Wendy's! There's less work involved!

If i smoke imma eat 2 no hesitation

@@user-st7rq3sn7v Not in the UK.

Give Slepp your bones!

@@Fershizzal give your bones to slepp

I had no intention of reading the comments until I heard that!

Give him your bones, you dogs!

For our God, Slepp we give our Bones.