Further Microwave Burger Investigations | Ashens 

With access to the internet, I have a wealth of human knowledge to explore right at my fingertips. Instead I choose to use it to watch a man eat and rate sub-par, knock off fast food burgers. I do not regret my decision.

That couch has enough stories to write a hundred tell all books, a documentary series, and a trilogy of movies set in the future

The Homer Simpson-esque "Umgh" before each bite is brilliant.

Even after 14 years, Ashens still didnt change his format. Reviewing subpar toys, legendary PopStations and questionable food. Internet sometimes can be wonderful

Even after all these years, Ashens content is still the same. Never change Stuart.

The Simpsons "nom" sound effect he makes every time he takes a bite 🤣

They should release a microwavable Happy Meal™ knockoff with a depressingly crap toy.

I love how every frozen microwavable food company uses a microwave that works like no other microwave on the planet to determine cooking times. Over twenty years of eating terrible microwave food and a dozen microwaves, NONE of them have ever heated ANYTHING properly. They alternate between "the cheese is smoking while the center is frozen", to "the bun is literally on fire and the meat is lukewarm", and the really joyful "the whole thing is still frozen even after doubling the cooking time." Notably, the one that left the items frozen was the one that was so powerful that it would superheat a mug full water in 15 seconds to the point where it could melt flesh. Did they leave out a step in the cooking instructions that says "You must turn off the laws of thermodynamics in your local reality to cook this properly"?

Classic Ashens. Old figures and nasty food. Staples of RU-vid.

Ashens was one of the first guys I watched ever on the internet. Way back when it was hot new shit to get videos online. I'm still here.

Weirdly enough, we have all sorts of these microwavable breakfast sandwiches made by a company called Jimmy Dean and they came up with a great way to do it. Literally all of them instruct you to wrap the entire sandwich in a paper towel, while still frozen, and microwave for varying amounts of time, depending on the type of sandwich. I swear to you, it works. The paper towel absorbs excess moisture and keeps the muffin/biscuit/croissant from getting soggy, but traps just enough moisture in to prevent it from becoming too dry. They're quite a delicious treat. I think it also helps that Jimmy Dean very clearly uses quality ingredients and thus the taste is quite good already.

Royal stack from Burger Cling. Have it how you want.

I honestly love microwaved tat like this, its my guilty pleasure. The soggier the bun and the more miserable the meat the more I enjoy it

There's something very disturbing about seeing a whole, assembled, frozen burger come out of a box like that.

The "Bacon" looks like what I imagine would be the entirety of the circumference of skin, peeled off of the roof of a burnt mouth.

I love that 'NOM' noise that Ashens does as he takes his first bite. I actually wait for it every time lol 😆

how did my life come to watching a middle-aged englishman eat frozen burgers

"Muffin in a microwave" sounds like an euphemism for being pregnant.

He's done it again. He's eating more terrible microwave burgers for our entertainment

A Big Stack is still a Big Stack, it's just _Le_ Big Stack.

Ashens, please never stop doing the Homer Simpson eating sound when you bite into something. It makes me smile every time.

I'm telling ya, Ashens has become this sort of 'safe space' for me. A lot of things change in life, but you'll be sure that there's always Ashens reviewing mundane stuff on a slightly worn out sofa.

These burgers are so awful but these videos still make me very hungry.

I live across the street from a KFC, in the United States, but had no idea what a "Zinger Tower Burger" was. Apparently it's an Australia/UK bestseller that's never been sold in the US.

I imagine Ashens wakes up in the morning and thinks "Darn, Im still alive. Oh well, time to get to work on that.".

That breakfast muffin looks like it's about to start talking. It belongs in the fridge from the Young Ones

I've watched this man eat microwaved food on his couch for years and by god I'm gonna keep watching for years to come.

I've just realised that the picture of the bald chap with the beard that you have flashframed over the years was your way of letting us know how you would eventually look.

I'm glad there's a serving suggestion, for those who have never seen a burger before. Once you opened the box I was thinking Falling Down and the Whammy burger :D

Watched ashens for years and This is just one of those RU-vidrs who doesn’t ever have to switch up how they do things. Classic ashens 24/7 and it works.

I definitely DON'T want a 'Horrible Soggy Sponge Bob' on my bottom.

I’ve been watching Ashens for so long that whenever a video like this one drops I just feel like i’m home :,)

Ashens, if you keep this content up for another two years I'll have been a subscriber for more than half of my entire life.

I always wonder if Ashens makes that sound as he takes a bite just eating in every day life 😜

5:25 "Although every care is taken to remove all bones, some may remain" WHAT THE HELL?!

Everyone else on RU-vid's Sponsor: Raycon or Shadow Legends. Ashens: Gaviscon and Immodium.

I actually quite like these burgers, they’re handy after I’ve finished a long night at work. key is to toast the buns for long enough to mask the lack of flavour in the rest of the ingredients

This channel does retro gaming, retro gaming handhelds, and weird food. Could not be more relevant to my interests really!

"Anemic muffin" what a good insult

What the hell, I haven't been on your channel for 4 years. How is your content actually completely unchanged whatsoever. Why is it still interesting, despite the passage of time and my personal development. I am awestruck.

This'll mean nothing to 99% of you, but the Royal Stack reminded me of an episode of Sliders where the team goes to a world dying from -Covid- a generic plague and all of the burgers are in shrink wrap. Its a good episode btw. For a show made 20 years ago it really got the hysteria of 2021 down to a nutshell.

That 60's transition was the literal best thing, you've got to make it a standard part of your show somehow

Sometimes, as a vegetarian, I do genuinely miss meat. Then I watch an Ashens food video and it passes.

I love when Ashens reviews food, not because I can get the same stuff around me but for the advice like toasting the bread or getting a better meal instead. That's the kind of knowledge only a person passes on after suffering the mildly inconvenience that is eating a soggy sandwich

I was looking for a way to pass my last half hour at work, hell yeah!

"Altough every care is taken to remove all bones, some may remain"

You know when In the intro all you hear is “heeuuureghhh” it’s gonna be a good one

Oh hey! I just realized that I got your movie box set. I've been very busy recently, so it slipped my mind completely. It's wonderful, thank you!

Ok ok but I eat these for a quick “meal” after a long day at work and I enjoy it, can’t say my body does…

That sofa has seen more stuff than me.

I love how you keep it original with the couch and everything and the review style keeps me coming back to the channel for more

When i'm on a diet and feel hungry, i just watch these videos and the craving is instantly gone!

2:52 perfect Homer Simpson impression

Falling Down would be so much different if instead of going into Whammyburger got one of those sorry, miserable, squashed things.

"Do we break the rules?" "And do we toast the bun?" Beautiful lyrics, that song always makes me tear up!

back in the day in an old job that was stuck in a strip mall with [Expensive restaurant] [different expensive restaurant], an applebees and a dollar store, we always went to the dollar store for food since we were all poor, and those sort of crappy frozen burgers and chicken sandwiches were usually what we got, and we just doused them with hot sauce. spice covers up a world of sadness. the crappiest chicken sandwich you can buy is tolerable when you load up on cholula.

Of course, you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in France? *A ROYALE WITH CHEESE…* 🍔

I'm fairly sure the closest the "Chicken" in those burgers has seen to a real chicken is if it was once a box that chicken nuggets were transported in on a lorry.

I love that I can still just come on over to Ashens' channel and chill. Such relaxing content.

I grew up watching you from 2011- now. Thank you Ashens for the constant great videos🙏🏼

Ahh, the knock off FBI, the FMBI. Thanks for being a hero to the microwave consumers, ashens!

I was just watching you and Barry making “waffles”. I had tears in my eyes thru the whole video. You nailed it every time. 🤣🧇🔥

I haven't watched Ashens in years but I got recommended to watch this today. It felt kind of like coming home to my childhood residence. Nostalgic. Weird.

great vid, very entertaining. glad you finally showed back up on my feed, took awhile to get it figured.

I had to go veggie because of a stomach tumour. When I feel myself tempted to eat meat I just watch Ashens 😵‍💫

Load of salt in a bap is Burger Thing's official slogan.

I have literally been watching these for years upon years. Love ya man.

So many years. Same intro, same couch. So many memories. You deserve so many more subscribers

"getting to the point of false advertising". So just like mcdonalds then. That really is an authentic sausage Mc muffin.

It was at this point I suspected that Stewart kind of wanted to die.

Ashens, will be making these videos for decades to come, and that makes me happy

Thankyou for cheering me up youtube for me has been quiet and ashans to the rescue!!! iv been enjoying your microwave line up please keep doing thease I love how funny you are in doing these videos hope all is well in these troubling times keep up the good work

great to know that stuart's guilty pleasure is to eat microwaved burgers.

That has to be the saddest looking English muffin breakfast sandwich I've ever seen.

Heat me, eat me - made by summit foods, snacksters - made by summit foods. I actually had a big stack earlier, along with the heat me eat me doner meat and chips. i personally find the doner meat and chips is one of the better quick snacks from the line up

The cut and the subsequent sad muffin was hilarious.

I feel so well seeing this videos, I feel like in the early 2010s and in the late 2000s.

I read the title as Führer Microwave Burger Investigations. That would be a VERY, VEEERY, different video.

Another classic food episode. Always a treat

good timing, i was just looking for a new video from ya

Careful Stu, you may receive the title of 'micro burger boy' if you carry on down this dark path.

The ultimate fate of the cow to bring us countless hours of entertainment

These never get old.

"👽 Looks like an alien lifeform" 🤣

Classic Stuart always appears when I am at my lowest. This fine lad cures my depression surprisingly better than my meds and the therapy. I'm so happy every time I see an upload from him

Ashens in the kina channel that never changes but never gets old

When I get microwave burgers or a chicken sandwich from my local 7-11, I separate the two buns and the meat and let them heat up in a pan on my hotplate. Usually turns out rather good once some sauce is added. I often go for mayo, Miracle Whip or BBQ sauce.

When I was in my teens, BK had a whole range of "doubles", all priced the same, which included the double bacon and cheese, the double rodeo, consisting of BBQ sauce and onion rings, the standard double cheeseburger, which despite its simplicity is one of my favourites, the Big King, which was just a blatant rip off of the Big Mac, and some Italian inspired thing, I can't remember the name, but it was my other favourite which had mozzarella and a rich Italian tomato and basil sauce . Now, the bacon double cheeseburger is ridiculously overpriced, the rodeo was quite recently discontinued, the Italian one was discontinued years ago, the Big King changed to include the stupid middle bun that a Big Mac has, making it an even more obvious rip off, before being discontinued, and I think the double cheeseburger still exists at a reasonable price, but since the lockdowns, they've stopped sellling the standard hamburger and standard cheeseburger. They only sell the "kids versions" which have no onions and pickles. Oh and I'm still mad they got rid of the Chicken Tendercrisp. Sort yourselves out Burger King.

No one actually follows microwave instructions at home, nor do they feel the need to not add anything. I applaud your efforts to make make your review more Realistic.

How to eat a royal stack. One: take off gross bacon... Two: take a bite... Three: throw it in the bin and run towards a bathroom to purge.

Dear lord, from that one sound clip I instantly know which public information video it's from. Haunting!

I swear it was Homer Simpson who took the first bite.

Due to a medical reasons I've not been able to eat anything burgerrelated for more than a year. You can't talk bad enough about that thing to not make me want to eat it :D

I have just rediscovered this channel after many years. Today was a good day.

It's crazy how many memes Ashens has been responsible for - and now he's a meme himself. I never thought he'd become the middle aged bald man/goatee trope yet here we are. He's one of a billion bald men over 40 with a goatee. Do they not look around and see how many of them there are? He's become a game NPC basically, just another bald goatee dude in a river of bald goatee dudes. He's becomes Menski/Steve Austin/Phil Mitchell/add your own bald goatee man here.

All fast food burgers look nothing like their advertising.

Ashens: *Buys another microwave burger* *Realises is tastes terrible Also Ashens: *Surprised Pikachu face*

I love the sound effects when you take a bite

Bamber Bridge, Preston. First time heard that name since a pre-season friendly against Stenhousemuir in thr early 2000's. Ahhh... memories

So, it's not even "Rustlers"? 😨