Abandoned with 20+ Kids: The Reality of a PLURAL WIFE in the FLDS 

Keep telling CPS and DHS that.

That's custody divorce court too... Mothers had tender years from 1970-1990s

Still people like elton John and Paris Hilton , Who buy children by using women in Need of Money as incubators ,are celebrated .

I can’t imagine being separated from my children. My Mama Bear would definitely come out!

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May it be so, and blessed be.

Yes 🙌🏽 it’s not always an easy path and I can say from experience that it can be lonely as well at times but it’s always worth it 🙏😍💓

I question almost everything and comply when it makes sense or is the right/best thing to do. Extra-Biblical rules are those most frequently abused in order to control others or acquire unlawful gain. For a time on my spiritual journey, I attended an Independent Baptist Church that I’d classify as a high control environment. Anyone who didn’t fit in with the 1950’s style white, American family was rarely accepted to join. Because they did do a lot of charitable work in the major city neighborhood as missionary outreach, there were many non-members who were welcomed--to a point! The longer I stayed, however, the more restricted I felt. I enrolled in their four month Bible Study and preparation for membership class. There was a lot of sexism to the point of ridiculousness. I recognize some of it here. The class was in the evening from 7:00-8:30, and a rule that women were not allowed out after dark without a man. As Summer turned to Fall, I was instructed not to drive to the church because a man would have to drive me home! At this time I was 34 years old, had a full time, professional job, had my own apartment, my own car, was self-supporting, and had been that way since age 18. I worked my way through both college and university. They were willing to look the other way, but just until they had found a husband for me! When I missed a class due to a business trip to Atlanta, the pastor was horrified that I’d flown into LaGuardia at night and went home on public transportation, ie. bus and subway. Any unescorted woman out at night was almost automatically a whore or asking for it. Women weren’t allowed to engage in competitive sports or strenuous activities lest we be spoiled for childbearing. For that reason, the men and boys did all the carrying, lifting, “heavy” work at church functions. We weren’t allowed to carry folding chairs, for example. At first, I thought it was chivalry, until this one girl who was a student at NYU got yelled at by the pastor’s wife. We thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. Two of her young sons ran over and took the chairs. I recall the girl looking at me and asking, “Who does she think does it when we’re by ourselves?” Then there was the clothing stuff, no uniforms like Amish or some of the Mormons, but dresses or skirts, only, and loose, prairie style dresses and jumpers were preferred to skirts and blouses. Business dresses or skirt suits were considered immodest because they were too form fitting, as in, you couldn’t wear them while pregnant without showing! Of course, women weren’t supposed to work outside of the home! A person like myself was supposed to live with her parents and help them if not married. Well, and if your parents are no longer living? Then you live with a male sibling’s family. I didn’t have a male sibling. The only sibling I had was shacked up with this guy who turned out to be wanted by the police in his country. I wasn’t invited and wouldn’t move in even I were! Then I got to questioning actual doctrine. The pastor could not give me any better answer than, “Because I am the pastor and have a degree from Bible Baptist Seminary.” IOW, he had three years of post high school education, not even the equivalent of a Bachelor’s degree! When I got to asking questions about Church history, he knew virtually nothing! In fact, he didn’t know history, period! Then there was his literal, Old Testament tithing requirement. I wasn’t a member and he wants everyone in the class to bring in a copy of the last year’s income tax! No way! That’s private information, besides, tithing was supposed to be on one’s honor according to the church by-laws. Apparently, tithing was at the honor of married, male, heads of families. For all others, the pastor and church board of directors determined the amount to tithe! That was the final straw. During the class break, I gathered up my stuff, went to the restroom, and departed out the side door. I never went back. I heard nothing from anyone at all for about six months until I received a form letter in the mail that my application for membership had been denied, and that I was not to have contact with church members unless I was willing to publicly repent after first meeting with the pastor and elders. It was as close to being excommunicated as one could come without being a baptized member. About a week after receiving the letter, I was sitting in the Duane Reade pharmacy waiting area when the pastor’s wife came in followed by five of their kids. I stood up to greet her and give over my chair because it was obvious a new baby was soon to be added to their family. I had nothing against her personally. If she liked her religious life, that was fine with me. She’s the one that married her husband, not me! Much to my amazement, she turned pale as a ghost, grabbed two of the kids, hissing, “Stand back,” and addressing me, “Repent, you heretic!” And she half herded, half dragged the children out of the store! Her behavior was actually noticed and commented upon by New Yorkers! I just shrugged my shoulders, shook my head, and sat back down.

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Exactly, well said, trauma is trauma and there are no degrees of trauma from an individual perspective so many of us can learn and be inspired by Cesi even if we didn’t grow up in a cult 🙏💞🙏

Yes, you can understand fear, trauma, shock, panic and grief, but you can’t understand mine or Cesi’s, even if your experience was the same. You can imagine. A saying I deplore ‘I know how you feel’ because you don’t. I know you didn’t say that. These stories are important to us, but we can only imagine how it felt to live their experience. We can relate to trauma, but we can’t relate to Cesi’s trauma. We can have empathy for her. It is wonderful that she was able to build a life with new light and love. Everybody’s experience is their own.

Yes, I have watched quite a few of these shows about the FLDS members and the brainwashing and what it takes to start over and think differently and I always think how similar we all are. I know what it feels like to realize my community's ways are not my ways. I know how hard it is to break free and start over and learn to think more clearly for myself. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm just a regular gal from Pennsylvania who has started over many times and is thriving just like you ❤

@@deedawson6074 Truly, everyone's experience is their own. If it sounded as if I was trying to co-opt that then I expressed myself poorly. Each of us sees the world through a unique lens. Our path through and past our experiences must also be unique. But, I believe that our humanity is shared. I can stand with you and for you while still respecting your boundaries.

Couldn't have said is better. I will forever remember your story about the titanic. I always say I was in a red submarine and you in a yellow submarine....what I'm trying to say is both is pain but I cannot relate to your's cause I've never been in your shoe slots of love and huge hug. ❤

Right!! She is !! 🙏🙏😇 Jesus Blessed!! Her

​@terrell6439 Just her? How unjust is that? Maybe it's best that your Jesus didn't exist at all if that's how they operate.

❤️❤️❤️

You’re so sweet, thank you! I finally got an EarPod sleeve so they don’t fall out of my ears 😂 that was a nightmare. I’ve learned so much since the beginning!

I didn't know about the pregnancy - congratulations. That is lovely

Hugs 🥰@@CultstoConsciousness

Xxz​@@CultstoConsciousness

So true! I've been binging all her videos while crocheting and it's fun to watch someone blossom more and more every day into such an incredible person!!!

She prob had her first at 16/17

@@nowat4987she said she was 17 when she had her first child

She is 37 years old. There is a post on her Instagram site.

Couldn’t agree more! And thank you🥰

Do it girl! 💪

Hi! We just interviewed Briell who was his 65th wife, which will come out next. Shoot me an email if you’re interested in sharing ❤️ cultstoconsciousness@gmail.com

Thank you Debby! You’re so sweet. We all appreciate your support!❤️

I’m so sorry to hear that. I do think the shame and non education surrounding purity culture play a large role in CSA. I hope you continue to find peace ❤️

The energy you emit is the energy you attract. That's how Shelise & Jonathan have built this amazing community, & how they attract such impressive people to their show.

You are so kind! Thank you!!

Thanks so much, Wendy!!@@wendychavez5348

AMEN! Thank you for what you do!

@@CultstoConsciousness crying because I hope to someday have the impact that you and your channel has, in my community! Thanks for all you do Shelise and giving survivors a platform!

@@anjelikag I guarantee that you have a MUCH BIGGER impact than you even realize. Without this comment section (if we were audio only) I would have no idea. What you do is boots on the ground work that I wish I could do as well. Your job is so incredibly important and needed!

@@CultstoConsciousness you have the sweetest soul! Sometimes I don’t feel like I am not making a difference. I really needed to hear that. Remember, whether you have your boots on the ground or having this platform, you are doing incredible work as well! As always thank you again for using your platform not just raising your voice but the voice of others! YOU ARE AMAZING!

Thank you!

Gracias por todo!❤

Oh no I'm so sorry this has happened to you... I'm not surprised that some parents are fine with this, but why did no friend of yours fill you in or just had these conversations with you? I would do that... it is so important to me that women around me know that they are normal and beautiful. More than one person has failed you.

It protects predators, teaching children how their bodies work and consent empowers children to speak out. Can't be having that in these groups

Omygosh

I was naive. Learned most everything from my peers. My friends mother put me on birth control.@@corneliahanimann2173

Thank you for sharing that. It's so frustrating that women are kept in the dark about their own anatomy for "their own (supposed) good"

Back in the day polygamy was to be the way to look after the widows and their children, there was no welfare back then.

FLDS , however, do allow cousin marriages.

@@lynnthomas5795Sure but its never an intentional thing right? More just multigeneration small community so most people are related in some way

Yes we have! We haven't heard back from her though.

Same, I’m not French but never dreamed about marriage or a dress.

Amazing!

I’m not familiar with the Coltharp case. Do you have a video recommendation about it? No problem if not!

@@Dreaming5 search: EWU Coltharp. I have to warn you. It's gut wrenching.

I watched a video about it yesterday--tge thumbnail is one of the little girls asking, "Can't you just kill him?" when officers told her they had found her dad. Maybe if you Google the "knights of the Crystal Sword" or "John Coltharp" you'll find more info than you know what to do with. Hideous stuff!

​@@wendychavez5348it's on Explore with us. They really molded Scripture to give an excuse for being incest driven PDF files.

@@wendychavez5348 thank you! I don't think I have the stomach to dig farther. I'm at a curve in the rabbit hole and trying not to vom down the hole.

Thanks for sharing!

I agree

We totally understand that! Thank you for your support! ❤️

Glad you enjoyed it!