Addressing all 25-Year Old Thinkers 

I don't know if anyone's familiar with this, but the 25 YO thinker reminds me of Soren Kierkegaard's description of the aesthetic life: “He cannot become old, for he has never been young; he cannot become young, for he has already become old; in a way he cannot die, for he has never lived; in a way he cannot live, for he is already dead.”

"Nooooo don't turn 25 you're so sexy!" -Leonardo DiCaprio

video starts at: 11:43

**General Introduction & Disclaimer:** 11:43 **Meditation Safety Discussion:** 13:13 - Dangers of intense meditation: 13:33 - Research on meditation effects: 17:31 - Importance of safe practices: 19:23 **Quick Win: Therapy Success Story:** 23:28 **Main Topics:** - **25-Year-Old Thinker:** 30:53 - Understanding the mind's desire for stimulation: 32:59 - How overthinking leads to negative emotions and coping mechanisms: 36:02 - The thinker's struggle with action and experience: 40:47 - Imaginary success vs. real achievement: 44:18 - The inefficiency of starting and stopping: 46:29 - How to overcome the thinker's mindset: 48:03 - **Cycle of Social Anxiety:** 01:13:24 - Breaking the cycle by targeting individual steps: 01:14:05 - Reducing need for social interaction through solitude: 01:15:45 - Active vs. passive challenges and choosing solitude: 01:19:32 - Interacting with people and managing overwhelm: 01:22:48 - Avoiding isolation and engaging with others: 01:40:41 **Q&A:** 01:48:27 - How to tie everything together: 02:00:47 - Managing anxiety and focusing on enjoyment: 02:06:26 **Closing Remarks:** 02:07:28

Best advice i ever got. Stop thinking, Start doing! You cannot think yourself out of a bad situation, you need to MOVE out of it.

Oh man, I remember when I used to overthink social interactions, but then I stopped caring and the problem just kinda solved itself.

This video won't get deleted right? I will probably come back this video whenever I need to remind myself of how things actually are. Please don't delete the video Dr. K

"Anytime our mind is unable to accept the consequences of our actions, it becomes paralyzed." If that ain't the truth, I don't know what is. Like, sure, I could go tell this lady I think they're cool and want to hang out, but this opens me up to the possibility of being rejected. At that point, my mind slams on the brakes because that's not an acceptable outcome. Too damaging. My ego/self-esteem/whatever must be preserved at all costs.

The 25 year old thinker part literally made me cry like a waterfall for the first time in 6 years... I turned 25 in January and check absolutely ALL the boxes 😞

This may have stopped me from suicide. I'm about 50 mins in and definitely a 25/26 year old thinker. Thanks so much man. Thinking of dropping a post in the subreddit too.

I have ADHD diagnosed late, trying to figure out life. In a very loving 2-year relationship however I am straining it due to the lack of control I have on my own mind. And that my focus and attention tends to be on unimportant aspects. I also can’t settle. My partner said “you have the same insecurities as someone 3 months into a relationship, not two years”. I have been living life 95% in my head. I have days where I am almost a zombie because of it. This leads to the darker, there is no reason for me to be here thinking. As well as they would be better off without me / I’m holding people back / they deserve more. I’m trying to find value in myself and get a fire in my belly to live my own life and be comfortable taking up space. Everything I’ve read talks about reigniting the fire in your belly. I don’t have one. I’m not sure if I ever did. If I did it was extinguished extremely early on. I’m determined to move on from this pathetic life into one I have control over and that starts in my head. Struggling with it but these videos and the comments section are gold dust.

I like this advice. Thinking the same negative low self-esteem thoughts will wear them into your mind like reading the same thing over and over again will help you remember it. Cues such as minor social embarrassment that trigger the negative spiral of thoughts will work on your brain like flash cards help you memorize important information. When you're spiraling, realize that you're just walking the pre-walked path that has been eroded into your mind. And go do something or learn something instead. The same mechanism that makes you insecure makes you intelligent and talented (literally, the same genes that are associated with higher risk for things such as ADHD, BPD, Schizophrenia, Depression, also have a "comorbidity" for artistic skills, academic intelligence and improved pattern recognition). It is your brain, you are in control, and you can use those brain cells for something that makes your life better instead.

I think one thing he might not have addressed in his assessment of the this "archetype", is when you are good at imagining a scenario, and then deploy an effort in reality, even the good results can be seriously disappointing, which arguably feeds the "it's better in my head" mentality FAR more than the failures.

God I needed this like 20 years ago. Kinda chuffed that I've figured out some of this; I'm incredibly grateful for the rest of the picture. Thank you for a more detailed map of the way forward

Only advice I have for Dr k is to try to avoid isolating towards a specific age. We have 35 and 45 year old thinkers as well That thinking of "i'm behind and it's too late" is a very difficult to overcome, this video was a precision nuke towards it. Thank you!

Very little is so gratifying as seeing a Dr K vid you know is just meant for you, watching it and realising what you were gonna do was already on the good path, and also being informed of the pitfalls that you might be heading towards. That is me rn. You are my idol Dr. K. Keep on doing what you're doing.

Wow, this is exactly what I needed, it's so strange that I was really struggling to find a realisation of what problem I was having with how I was thinking and it was basically all that was said in this video, mainly about resolving thoughts, annihilating those castles in the sky, bringing you mind in line with reality and killing the idea of achieving perfection. Man Dr.K you spitting pure bars of gold!

20 years old thinker here, you're right and in a way expectation is a burden and i will try to start wtih lower expectation so that it won't come crashing down and also because of my expectations i start out with someone so it actually starts from a casual talk? Thank you my friend for this informational video!

An adage of mine: if something's strong enough to have beneficial effects, it's strong enough to have side effects.

As someone who still deals with feeling lonely quite a lot the best thing I ever did was delete socialising apps off of my phone & only ever socialised in person for the most part. Deleting dating apps actually made me less lonely as opposed to more. I think it’s like showing a treat to a dog, before then it isn’t even thinking about the treat but when you show it to them all of a sudden it’s desperate for it.

it's just so hard to try and have a minor fail that you recover for two weeks after and realize how much time you waste

Damn, it took me a year to realize I didn’t want anything because I already had everything in my head. Although I don’t share everything with the 25-year-old thinker, the video definitely helped clarify why I wasn’t making progress. I guess this makes me 7 years ahead.

I have a weird relationship with this phenomenon. I’m currently 23, almost 24, and I definitely fit in some of these categories but I’m very far from others. I definitely get lost in my thoughts and that plays against me sometimes, but I’ve also found that my issues don’t stem from starting to take my life in a better direction. It stems from keeping the momentum. The thing is though, I don’t make the decision to stop doing something, my subconscious does. I’m trying to go through college but I hit points where I completely stop retaining information, to the point where I can study 8 hours a day and make it to all of my lectures and just not get it. My personality is gaged to meet stuff like this head-on and try to push through it, but that always makes the problem worse. I got to the point in 2022 where I put my head down and pushed through my classes, passed all of them with 2 extremely close to failing, and about a week after finals I started getting extremely intense panic attacks and I was extremely paranoid for the entire summer. I couldn’t even sleep properly, as I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly almost the entire time. I eventually recovered, but now I know there is an absolute limit to trying to push myself past my mental blocks and I’d rather not go through that again. The problem then becomes: if I keep developing mental blocks during semesters and I can’t just push through them without risking a similar mental breakdown, wtf am I supposed to do? I saw multiple therapists, about 3-4 months each, but not one actually understood and was able to provide any help. This drives me more inwards and my imagination has become escapism because of this, which then becomes a paradox. If I go out and try to do something with myself, I’ll reach the point of being frustrated with my lack of progress but feel like I need to keep pushing, but apparently pushing through is both not healthy and not the answer? It’s extremely confusing. I also want to clarify the parts of the “25 year old thinker” I fall under: 1. Extremely active imagination, leading to excessive daydreaming and having little adventures in my head. 2. I don’t full lose sight of my surroundings, but I have a ton of trouble keeping myself out of my head when my anxiety is high. This can affect my driving in the absolute worst instances, however it hasn’t lead to anything dangerous. 3. Strong inner monologue that can break out of my head at times. Like I’ll think a thought and say it without noticing I said anything or I’ll start saying it subconsciously and catch myself. This has gotten me a bunch of weird looks. 4. Imagining success. It’s broad, but I can’t say I don’t do it. I’ve gotten to a point where I feel so close yet so far from it that coming up with ways to achieve success has become one of my hobbies at this point. 5. Can’t learn new things/analysis paralysis. I feel like these are two separate points, but he listed them together. I explained this earlier, I get to a point during a semester when my mind just cuts me off. I stop being able to absorb information almost completely. It’s subconscious, I don’t choose to do it. Currently trying to find a therapist that specializes in men’s mental health and hoping they can help, but damn is it hard. I feel like I’m constantly dragging weights around.

I have read so many books and listened to so many speakers and spiritual teachers, and I have to say - honestly - you are one of the best teachers out there. My son and I both get so much out of your work. Thank you

I have the same problem, and to me two spiritual practices have been bery useful to improve the situation: the thought control practice by Rudolf Steiner and the Concentration practice by his disciple Massimo Scaligero. They allow you to grow a major awareness of the movements of your mind and a better dominion on your thoughts. But the fundamental solution is, as the doctor said, to not let your prejudices about what you should be, how you should act and how things should go, treating them just as self-produced transient thoughts and acting instead. I wish the best for all the thinkers out there. We don't need to start our life again with our current knowledge, we could rejoice our second birth in any moment with that little extra determination. And we all have great potential, we all have refined to perfection thinking, imagination and maybe even intuition after all, and they are all very useful when coupled with experience. But do not daydream about this!

35 year old thinker here (in some aspects of life). Dr. K. is spot on again. Sad, that I am too old to change and catch up now. 😂 Joke.. I'll try to keep going instead of hitting the breaks again. Thanks so much for your work! 🙏

GREAT STREAM! Fn LOVED IT! These deep dives are a blessing. Keep doing your thing Dr.K

I've not even started the video properly, was ready to kinda analyse myself but the intro musics got me to relaxed 😅. Thankkyou for grounding me, I think it's what I needed right now. 🙌🏻

Went into this not knowing what a 25 year old thinker was, I can see now this was me though out a very large portion of my life, i've never seen this problem expressed/articulated so clearly although i've known this was and still kinda is my problem, being a chronic thinker has only lead up to negative consequences and it kinda hurts to look back on, things are moving in the right direction now, although still battling it to some degree, thank you Dr. K!

I have a question for past "25-Year Old Thinkers" who overcame the problem: When you try to "get a reality check" and realign your mind with reality, while coping with the negative emotions and anxiety, how do you avoid losing hope? That's been my main problem. A sign that got me to slam on the breaks was a pushback from family members or people of influence, another was rejection (job, friendships), and finally me not valuing myself enough to truly push once I hit burnout. At some point I just completely lose any hope, as one of my greatest fears in life is "slaving away": putting mountainous amounts of effort and 30+ years later still remain unaccomplished, injured, ego shattered, while still not being good enough to change anything about my situation. My mind keeps thinking that not putting the effort is better than putting it in vain.

after watching this I may not need to watch another dr k video ever again. This one was so valuable for me it contained so many good lessons and practical examples. So thankful for how compassionate, wise, and insightful Dr. k is

Love you Dr.K thanks for all you do hope you and your family have an amazing year!

Strong belief that real healing is careful progress towards goals. Trying to escape maladaptions is mostly symptomatic relief but important for self control to prevent self sabotage, and setting up the success of reaching the intended goals.

57:43 My take on this isn't exactly like how Dr. K says it, but I'll try describing the feeling. Whenever I do math in a shit mood or like in bed or because I'm just trying to "push through", I'll start undertaking bad assumptions uncritically, usually guided by my emotion and hoping the problem becomes easier. Don't get me wrong; intuition and emotion are GOOD in math, but you have to verify it to avoid making dangerous mistakes. Summing over my lifetime it's probably costs thousands of hours of useless meandering when I'm in this state of uncritically letting thoughts through. Similarly, I've noticed that when I'm in a good, productive mood, I've grown to the point where negative thoughts, I can brush off easy peasy, and focus back on the task at hand. But when I'm in a bad mood, I'll very frequently get into philosophical thought loops. Very enlightening to hear Dr. K talk about this as a natural thing the brain wants to do (avoid boredom), but it's also my previous bad experiences preying on my weak mental state and everything else Dr. K talks about. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, that in that state, even though you may think "logical" things, it's not actually going through a formal review process. That's what writing down your thoughts, talking with peers, etc. forces you to do, as otherwise it's just all nonsense. Note I'm not saying *thoughts* are nonsense. When you're in a good mood, you can think good, logical thoughts, heck you can come up with great ideas in that state. And I'm not saying anything about the invalidity of negative thoughts; it's very possible that in your most depressed state you come to some grand revalation. I'm simply saying that chances are, when you're in a good mood, your thoughts go through some sort of actual review process, and when you're in a bad mood your thoughts are just your mind running in a treadmill - 99.999% of them will be useless. Now how to actually take advantage of my bad mood phases? I dunno. I've just learned to not be as trusting about my thoughts during that time.

I got my first non dead end job 3 days ago, at the age of 28. I gotta say, at first I felt not so great about the opportunity because it is an entry salary (for an entry position). Now that I'm actually seeing how things are in the real world for the first time I'm humbling down real quick and just letting go of my delusional, lifelong expectations, which feels like killing the invincible, never wrong, morally superior part of me. It's definitely painful but at this age when all you managed to do in the past were half hearted efforts that despite of making you tired just ended up in failure, I guess it's not that much of a bad deal. If you're struggling, humble down, be willing to take the first steps and sticking to it. Took me 2 and a half years to get this position, throughout the way I've felt depressed, felt like I was getting nowhere, felt like a fool, got disappointed, for humiliated at some interviews, but I just kept getting back at it. Chill guys, we're gonna make it

Amazing talk as always! Thank you for the boundless clarity, inspiration, and encouragement ❤️

I used to think I was a thinker. But now that I’ve thought about it more I am not really sure.

Stream starts at 11:42 25 yo thinker at 32:00 The cycle of social anxiety: 1:13:30 Hope you're having a nice day and that your big brain thinker energy will yield great results!

definitely me at 22--recovery has been thething that helped fight these habits. slaa & al anon--thank you healthygamer for taking this on 🙏

That first half dialogue was fantastic. I think parts of it do apply to me, but im a little in between in that I've fixed some of those behaviors and thoughts, but the strings are still there. Awesome. Life changing advice for a generation of dudes who seem stuck.

I remember going to a Tibetan Buddhist temple for the first time and one of the people said to me was that if I have a mental health issue, I have to see a licensed professional and don’t replace therapy with meditation

As a 25-Year Old Thinker, this reminds me of a book I've always wanted to write "Lost in the Abstract"... Oh the irony...

This is absolutely amazing and it’s 100% me. Thank you so much, this might have saved my life. I’m not going to forget this. I’m going to pass this on to others. Thanks Dr. K❤

This is me to a T overthinking, under doing. I live in my head in multiple day dreams based off of my favorite anime and stories where I self insert myself, have an imaginary boyfriend, and an imaginary life where I can be anything I want to be and imagine it so clearly, that in my real life I strive for nothing. I'm turning 25 this year, this video really addressed what I understand about myself, but have been putting off fixing for myself. Quite literary, I need to be a do-er, I need more action and application in my life. I think about the one Andy Warhol quote where he says something along the lines of keep "busy busy busy". Thank you for the vid Dr. K

25 yo thinker at 32:00 cycle of social anxiety 1:13:30

I like the music in the intro. If I'm gonna listen to dr. K talk for 3 hours straight I feel like the relaxing music for a few minutes is also worth it.

This video was great 💯 Happy we’re able to have these conversations!

Daily dose of Dr. K! Love these topics keep up the awesome videos. I always find something interesting or useful to take away 🤗

Actually, a 31 year old drinker.

This video is so great. Dr. K hits the nail on the head for so many things that I feel are relatively unique for young people growing up online & in gaming. Really forward thinking. I can't believe I never connected these feelings with how I have 1,000s of hours in Dota 2 solo bot games. I've been seeing a therapist for a while now, but they never relate as much as Dr K does.

I love Dr.K

I’m turning 23 next month and I’m already on a fast track to becoming the 25yr old thinker, if I’m not already. I’ve been semi aware of these problems but this analogy really helped put it into words. Thank you!:)

"I have faith in you because of physics" love it! 49:20

The segment on the thinker comes across like we assume the person wanted/chose to be the thinker, but what if someone really hates losing an entire workday to a daydream of what could be? Usually I didn't go looking for a non-reality, it just manifests in the way, and now I have to tear it down to get back to my responsibilities. Gonna be real, in my experience it really sucks once an idea starts rolling. Trying to pick up an engineering task after stopping a multi-hour brain train rarely goes well without intense external pressure, which is also unpleasant.

Currently pulling myself out of this hole. It’s very difficult to pull yourself out of it and I feel isolation was my cause. Thank you for the advice

38:33 this is so true.. through the past I've had to deal with isolation over family members that were unpleasant to say the least. One of the ways that I coped was by becoming a deep thinker. Well it has its uses doing it all the time usually causes me to not enjoy the present.

I’m 27 and I overthink . Thanks for making me overthink more with this video ☠️

I related to this to some extent. I've always been a big thinker, and I don't necessarily think it's always a bad thing. But ever since I got diagnosed with ADD back around October, even a small amount of medication and therapy has completely changed my life. It all makes so much sense now. This type of archetype lead to extreme anxiety, depression, and disorganization. My life isn't completely down the drain or anything, but it could've easily gone there. Now I can actually process thoughts/emotions and file them away instead of letting them control my life. I can meditate and actually feel peaceful. I can have thoughts without 5 others fighting for the spotlight with some random song playing in the background. I still have a very strong inner monologue, but I live in the present much more, and it's more of a guiding voice than a hinderance.

perfect timing as always with the uploads thanks Dr K -ing

I spend every single day listening and watching to RU-vid, X, Spotify, etc. years of my life gone in a blink. My memories are digital and my accomplishments are few and underwhelming. Pornography takes me 2 hours into the future in what feels like 5 minutes. I think, I think a lot, too much. I’m 20 almost 21, so it’s not too late. It’s a constant spiraling into darkness, I’ll try my best to do what I need to do. I need to get out of my mind.

At some point I did try to break the circle of social anxiety. I enjoy solitude a great deal, I am present in conversations and I have completely stopped overthinking but nothing changes. I want to talk but words don't come out, my whole body feels awkward and I retreat. Btw that "creepy" Dr K's impression is literally how I talk and there is nothing I can do about it

this is the first time i’m watching a video from dr k. i check the box for almost every “attribute of the “25 yo thinker”. just turned 26 last month and it’s a little bittersweet hearing dr k’s explanation..kid me was ALWAYS daydreaming, always imagining a separate life, i only recently discovered how damaging that was in the long run bc i hid it well throughout my teens and most of uni. now im on the wrong side of 25 and i cant get out of my head most days, and it’s paralyzing. i want to live again. and i will!

This is so enlightening on how the brain works!!! I love how logical you are in your explanations!

Legit this was me, I turned 26 and my modus operandi is just do it. You want that? Work for it and do it. You want to achieve that goal? Do it. I been sitting for too long. Schedule those doctors and dental appointments, get that affordable dream car, apply to that job you want but aren't qualified for, ask that person on a date, move out your parent house, get that overtime, JUST DO SHIT. BUY THAT TELESCOPE, FIX YOUR OWN CAR Within reason ofc, not saying be impulsive, but those things you always wanted but never did....DO IT. I'm almost 30, the time is now. Youth is out past 40, you're officially old then

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 11:30 *🔍 Meditation can be transformative, but it involves editing the "source code" of your mind, which can be dangerous if not done properly.* 17:34 *📊 Research on meditation often involves short-term trials with limited sample sizes and excludes people with acute mental illness, so caution is needed when interpreting its effects.* 25:37 *💼 Therapy remains the best evidence-based intervention for improving mental health, often complemented by multiple small interventions over time rather than one big solution.* 32:03 *🧠 The mind can become overwhelmed with imaginary scenarios and inner monologues, indicating a lack of control. Boredom avoidance is a key driving force behind the mind's behavior.* 34:08 *🧠 The mind seeks stimulation to gain energy, which is why it craves drama and engages in anxious thoughts.* 35:18 *💡 Anxiety can provide energy to the mind, leading to increased activation and restlessness.* 36:14 *🔄 Over-reliance on imagination can lead to detachment from reality and hinder real-life experiences.* 37:52 *🎮 Success in life requires a balance between thought and experience, not just excessive thinking.* 39:38 *💔 Excessive thinking can lead to emotional disconnection and negative feelings about oneself and life.* 44:24 *🤦‍♂️ Imagining success as a coping mechanism can prevent individuals from taking real action to achieve their goals.* 46:17 *🔍 25-year-old thinkers often exert more effort due to their constant mental struggle between imagination and reality.* 48:19 *🚗 Consistent effort, rather than sporadic bursts, is key to progress and success in life.* 53:27 *📈 Experience bridges the gap between imagination and reality, leading to better outcomes and adjusted expectations.* 55:47 *🌍 Annihilating unrealistic expectations allows individuals to perceive the world as it is and move forward effectively.* 57:11 *🚦 Recognize that transitioning into the real world can be challenging, but perseverance is key.* 57:39 *🧠 Be mindful of the thought patterns that lead to analysis paralysis; seek resolutions rather than endless thought loops.* 58:49 *🤔 When faced with uncertainty, take action to gather more data rather than endlessly analyzing with incomplete information.* 59:30 *💡 Cultivate activities that lead to resolution of thought, which ultimately frees you from the burden of overthinking.* 01:04:47 *🎮 Embrace failure as an inevitable part of growth and learning, rather than striving for unattainable perfection.* 01:13:55 *🔄 Breaking a cycle requires disrupting any of its steps; cycles are vulnerable and can be broken at multiple points.* 01:16:46 *🛋️ Spending time in solitude reduces the desperation for social interaction, making interactions less overwhelming.* 01:19:27 *⚔️ Active challenges chosen by individuals are less anxiety-inducing than passive challenges imposed upon them; actively choosing challenges can reduce feelings of overwhelm.* 01:22:04 *🚪 Solitude can be a choice, reducing the feeling of being overwhelmed and improving interactions.* 01:23:41 *🧠 Understanding the role of the thalamus in sensory processing and emotional reactions can help manage overwhelming situations.* 01:26:00 *🧩 Social isolation can lead to "social rust," affecting our ability to detect reassuring stimuli and potentially contributing to dementia.* 01:31:08 *🤔 Overthinking and self-absorption during social interactions hinder connection and relaxation.* 01:33:47 *🌟 Strategies for managing social anxiety include practicing solitude, taking control of overwhelming situations, and avoiding isolation.* 01:39:07 *🤝 Being present, engaging with others, and avoiding excessive phone use can enhance social interactions and alleviate anxiety.* 01:41:56 *💡 Avoiding repeated cycles of socializing and isolating can help acclimatize to social situations and improve overall comfort.* 01:49:00 *🎉 Social anxiety adds complexity by making us worry about how tasks are perceived by others, reducing our ability to engage fully.* 01:52:09 *🔄 Social anxiety creates an exponential problem: shifting focus from the task to others negatively impacts performance.* 01:53:51 *🎯 To overcome social anxiety, focus on the task at hand, practice in private, and enjoy what you're doing.* 01:57:41 *💡 Offer what you have with love and enjoyment, bypassing anxiety about how it will be received.* 02:00:03 *🔄 Practice, enjoy yourself, and focus on the task to overcome social anxiety and improve confidence in public interactions.* Made with HARPA AI

I just Love Dr K and his wife!! Thank you for restoring hope to the world!!!!!

This man is both a blight and a blessing to my life. I misapply his advice and suffer, then follow other advice and fix my life for 2 weeks.

I'm in pain; this is literally me. The physics analogy makes so much sense

About perils of intense meditation, there's an interesting text, "I believed the hype and did mindfulness meditation for dumb reasons-- now I'm trying to reverse the damage" > I really thought that I was simply exploring new territory and learning static truths about myself. I did not realize what a dynamic, feedback-driven process messing with your attention is. I wasn’t just clarifying my attention like you would clean rust off a bike chain; I was deeply reshaping my attention at multiple levels. In short, I was teaching myself not to get habituated to stimuli and not to pattern-match via sensory deprivation, in particular by depriving myself of my default mode network inner monologue stream (“letting go of thinking”). Not habituating or pattern-matching are oft-exhorted goals because of typical mind fallacy: it’s common not to be nuanced enough. Many people believe that you can’t make too few assumptions, but it’s not true. We need heuristics for speed and to make room for the things that actually require nuanced attention. I felt the effects of reducing habituation and not pattern-matching across many domains, from verbal thinking to visual and auditory processing. Similarly, it's common to be excessively involved in "ego," or a self-image or self-narrative, and to benefit from loosening yours up and not seeing it as so solid. But when you attack your sense of self and try to train your brain not to build it up, you can lose things like proprioception and self-recognition. > One of the general things that mindfulness meditation aims to do is teach the practioner to perceive sense data more directly and less filtered through preconceived ideas of what it is we're sensing. The biggest harm of reducing the tendency to pre-filter input through concepts is the processing time that it takes to bind all the shapes or sounds or ideas I’m hearing into something my brain can use. (...) I just changed my graphics settings to be stupid high and now the game runs slow. I don’t pattern match quickly enough and it makes my thinking slow and contributes to a foggy brain feeling. I have trouble chunking information in my working memory, at least compared to how I used to be. > If you meditate casually, don't freak out. I was meditating a lot. But please think twice about becoming a more serious meditator.

I also had “not very good”experiences with psychotherapy. I had been to three therapists of different backgrounds. I felt that each of them had helped me to some extent, but there’s limitations in what they can do. They can never resonate with me or understand my struggles fully, as they probably were never sick in the same way I did. But after a few years, I now somehow understand the whole situation better. I realized that “when you want something to work, you should do it on your own” and if someone else offers help, it’s a bonus, not their responsibility to do so.

"Just think for a second." But I've been doing it for 13 yrs straight 😢. On a serious note, this video has been exceptionally insightful, and I'm very grateful for your practice 🙏

I watch inception a day before yesterday for the 3rd time . Recently ive been into this changing mindset , mind stuff , psychology , yoga , and this genre of stuff . After watching inception where, how ideas can build but can also burn a person is depicted so well , actually scared me to even think anything cause I was scared a thought might slip into an idea and then this idea would spread like virus to ruin me . Like how potential and impactful thoughts can be . And today Dr.K talks about the potential side effects of meditation , editing the source code and stuff . Thats timing 😅

Holy crap, I’m exactly 25. Love this video!!

I love how he explains things so much man, it just makes sense

The bit about the 25 YO thinker made me tear up. Thank you, Dr. K. There's been moments where I almost lost hope in everything, but you have rekindled the flame in my heart. I sincerely thank you again for your guidance.

@Unknown Human I saw your comment in the stream chat, and ironically, I was once asked about MBTI by a friend. Because I've done some research on the topic, particularly on the NERIS model, I might have some insights. From what I've gathered on their website, there doesn't seem to be a solid theoretical foundation behind the tool. It appears that they've mainly used Jung's typology as a basis, without proper psychometric research. Instead, they seem to have employed the Big Five model and data, and then fit it into the 16 predefined types. The Big Five Model is quite robust and popular, with a dedicated questionnaire, which would likely yield more accurate results than something forced to fit predefined types. Overall, in psychology, dimensional models are replacing typological ones due to their flexibility and better ability to describe individuals. There's also an article critiquing the MBTI that raises valid points: "Should You Trust the Myers-Briggs Personality Test" by Laith Al-Shawaf in Aeromagazine.

Summary Part 1 Dr. K discusses the challenges faced by the "25-year-old thinker," a person trapped in a cycle of excessive thinking, imagination, and analysis paralysis. The summary covers the following key points: Introduction: - Meditation practices can be transformative but also risky if not practiced properly. - Dr. K cautions against intensive meditation retreats for those with acute mental illness, emphasizing the importance of moderation and safety. The Mind's Craving for Stimulation: - The mind hates boredom and constantly seeks stimulation through thoughts, imagination, and even anxiety. - The "25-year-old thinker" has mastered fueling their mind with imaginary scenarios, events, and relationships, creating an artificial reality. Disconnection from Reality: - Excessive thinking disconnects the individual from real-world experiences and personal growth. - Relying solely on imagination leads to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when facing reality. - This cycle perpetuates negative emotions and further reliance on imagination as a coping mechanism. Analysis Paralysis and Quitting: - The "25-year-old thinker" frequently starts and stops endeavors, slamming the "mental accelerator" and then the "brakes," leading to analysis paralysis. - This pattern requires more effort than consistent progress, as the mind justifies quitting by convincing itself that "things are always better in my head." Breaking the Cycle: - The key is to annihilate unrealistic expectations and gather real-world data through experience and practice. - Acceptance of potential consequences and embracing imperfection are essential to move forward. - Resolution of thought comes from action, acceptance, and gathering objective data, not further analysis. Data Collection and Perception: -Our data collection can be biased by pre-existing beliefs, traumas, and mental states like anxiety. -Refining perception and interpreting data objectively is a crucial skill for personal growth. In summary, Dr. K provides insights into the mindset of the "25-year-old thinker" and offers practical strategies to break free from excessive thinking, embrace reality, and achieve personal growth through experience, acceptance, and objective data collection.

This concept of the 25-year old thinker is absolutely alien for me. Either I was them at some point and I moved on so far beyond, but I always kept on. I've been failing all my life. I sometimes needed breaks, sometimes to take a breather, sometimes to take a step back, sometimes I needed help but I have always started going on. Or something happened that made me go on. Or I became bored. Maybe it's just because I have ADHD and my inner life can be extremely influenced by my outer life. So when I do not shower for 2 days it doesn't feel good and I need to change it or else I'll feel bad physically. Maybe this is something you experience when you're completely out of touch with your body and with the real, physical world. It also sounds like something that you can develop when you have no existential threats, no aspirations and live an absolutely frictionless life as an adult. But that doesn't mean that you have had to have a frictionless life. This can also happen if you've been told the world is shit and you've been indoctrinated, like with incels. I could probably think of many more examples. Ok like when your parents decide what you're gonna do with your life and you feel like you have no agency, which is painful in it's own way. Anyway, it sounds concerning and therapy would probably be a good idea to have while you're starting to do stuff in the real world to lubricate the motor.

good timing for this video. It's likely the core cause for my mental breakdown and quiet manic episodes. I'm so fucking lost and in deep grief for all the everything I chose not to do. Even to the p oint of not watching or playing most content from the past decade or there about.

I practiced meditation for 9 months before experiencing a sort of disassociation coupled with a feeling like my gut was being torn open. The sensation ended when I would get up, walk, and place my hands on my body. What on earth was this. It didn’t just happen once. I mostly gave up on meditation because of this. I can do shorter sessions and haven’t reached that kind of bodily sensation since I stopped for a few years. I would like to meditate again but the feeling wasn’t something I was able to just sit back and observe. I had a valence emotion of deep terror and sense of being unsafe.

I relate to not being interested in a career I’ve never been treated well in schools or the workforce so they won’t see me do more than the bare minimum.

Very good discussion! Made me think about certain situations and whatnot from a different point of view and I understand how other people end up in them too. Neat!

Thank you Dr K...lots of ❤

"Queue up and show us" that line is too real..... Dr k be on those servers lol

I’ve never met a 25-year old thinker who graduated from college in a prolific field (medicine, law, engineering). In my experience, this archetype stems from folks who never wanted to choose college or go down an educationally hard path. They kinda just wanted to pave their own way, be their own boss. But when you opt out of education, you are essentially a master of nothing. You don’t learn discipline through deadlines enforced by university, you don’t meet the actual intellectuals through university events (professors, industry leaders invited by your school). You’re trying to figure it out alone or through other people in the same thought bubble and you get the blind leading the blind. Education provides purpose and forces you to live up to expectations to become the master of something. I’m in medical school, and I’ve never been stuck in this position.

I keep seeing your shorts and you say the most incredible things. Some are very insightful others are just patently untrue. I saw a short on how"we dont need anyone, the absence of necessity. You talk about working from your room. Your advice is so based on on an incredibly privileged life. It also comes from youth.

What is being described is so close to how I am but just not quite the same. Instead of "reality hurts, it's always better in my head" it's more like "I don't understand reality. Why do people do this? Is this what normal people do? Is this what normal people are like? Why are they like this?" None of the imaginary stuff, just me locked away in my head constantly trying to understand what "normal" is. I tend to be extremely aware of others and what they do, and their expressions, picking them apart in my head trying to figure out what is normal and why it is normal and how to be normal. Then when I try to be "normal" I don't know if it's ego or what, but I cringe, I weird myself out, I feel stupid, it doesn't feel normal, and none of it all makes any sense.

What I don’t understand is some of the most respected people of all time fit in this “25 year old thinker” personality type. They are just able to capture this thinking in one way or another for art/science or some other way. So I don’t see this personality as necessarily a bad thing, just more of a stepping stone.

32:04 25 yr old thinker portion starts

This was a strangely accurate call-out in the form of a meme. Like, didn't nail everything, but straight out of the gate. Outfit, check. Haircut, check. Age, roughly. Earbuds, occasionally - I like audiobooks and podcasts. "Imaginary events" - I'm pretty strict with myself about not letting my emotional energy escape from my grasp and flee into unconstrained channels that don't bind as tightly to reality as I can manage. When I was much younger, like 7-12, I spent a lot of brain-cycles on magic, grand stories, wild futurism scenarios, alternate histories for me or society... I'm still running the same kind of personality, but I do have more requirements for those things these days. "Interesting" isn't enough, because you can be interested in things which aren't useful or coherent. "Enjoyable" isn't enough, because you can enjoy things that won't help you and will leave you with fragile tools that shatter on contact with the kind of scenarios life actually throws at you. "Imaginary girlfriends" - Nope. Pretty sure my girlfriend is real. She just lives in a different country, you wouldn't know her. All kidding aside, I hope she's actually real. If not, then I actually have almost completely disconnected from consensus reality, and my brain has completely failed to notice any confusion or strangeness about that. As wonderful as "A Beautiful Mind" is as a title for a biography, I do feel as though "beauty" is being used the way you'd use it in "a beautiful death" or "a beautiful mess." Maybe not ironic, but I think not the beauty I'd want as a description of myself. "Imagines starting over with everything he's learned" - Guilty. I have imagined that. Although, I did notice that it was a fantasy that literally couldn't happen in our universe, and thus was a dubious place to meander around in my thoughts. There are specific eras of my life where things happened quickly, I was completely unprepared, and which decisions I made and why ended up leaving behind a tangle or blur in my memories. I do think, as a kind of retrospective analysis, there is some value in saying "okay, let's see if I can figure out what I did wrong by imagining how I'd have done that differently now." Still, this is something, on a meta level, I think about. "Should I be thinking thoughts like that?" "Should I wait for specific circumstances to remind me of my past mistakes, so that I don't waste time with shoring up irrelevant or poorly prioritized skills?" "Inner monologue has become his entire reality" - moreso than other items on the list, this one feels like an uncharitable and inaccurate criticism. "Entire reality?" Surely not, even if I'm not the worst case of loud and intensely attended-to inner monologues. Maybe someone with my psychology but who also has aphantasia? I think even in that case you'd find they were saying things in their internal monologue like "am I even thinking about this correctly [with respect to actual reality]?" or "Huh, this train of thought is looping back on itself, let's try and go look for something [in actual reality] that can dissolve it." It's terrifying to imagine being someone whose internals only point to other parts of their internals that aren't entangled with the outside world. Terrifying like "padded white room" terrifying. Maybe it's gesturing at the thing where people think in an "Aristotelian" way? (Term borrowed from General Semantics, some of those ideas are bad, I don't think the Aristotelian/non-Aristotelian distinction is terrible though, you can get the benefits of that framing from more rigorously specified roots, but it points to a real thing that happens in people's minds.) Where they no longer see definitions or "areas of the map" as tools or a "map" that points to a place in reality, but rather that those definitions and "maps" *are* reality. That would be what I'd call "your internal monologue becoming your reality" - you would be someone who's lost their map/territory distinction. The kind of person who thinks "no that doesn't make sense, by definition a sound is something that a person hears, the tree can't make a sound if no one is around." Or more generally someone who doesn't see a problem with the Aristotlian ideal of a philosopher deducing the whole of the universe blindfolded within dense fog, using only pure logic and definitions. Practically, this means that I'm totally prepared to call my inner monologue nonsense if or throw out framings if they fail to capture the things in reality I care about in a way that lets me actually accomplish things in reality. "Has no interest in any career, just wants to think" - this is closer to a valid criticism of the way my motivations have ended up structured. I do work, though it's not what I'd call a career, and when I contemplate or work towards "career" options, I don't actually want to do any of it for its own sake. I want to do it because I want to see what happens next in the world, without having to struggle - and likely fail - to eat, acquire shelter, or pay my medical costs. I am in touch with the world I'm actually living in, but that doesn't mean I like most of it. There is one thing that I care about enough to maybe just enjoy doing it if it were easy for someone like me to get paid doing it, but that's not the kind of internal motion someone wants you to have when they say "you need to find a career and then care about that instead of all this other stuff." For example, I'm supposed to not care whether my bosses have unreasonable expectations for me, or whether doing certain things every single day makes me want to die, or whether what I'm doing is actually helping other people or contributing to making the world the kind of place I'd want to live in. But, fair criticism, I have found myself feeling somewhat paralyzed/tangled on this subject. There's a bit of "nope, I know that stovetop is hot, I don't want to touch it any more than necessary" going on in my head, and there is a counter force of "okay, well, leave your country or figure out how to bend the knee to the system you're in, the state is not going to help feed you, house you, or protect you from medical debt, you need an employer that's willing to offer you that benefit." But I'll probably end up leaving the US. Frankly this place sucks. I'm not hesitating, there are reasons I'm sticking around for now, but yeah, rather than try to build a sustainable life under this system, I'd rather try my luck somewhere else with different kinds and amounts of pressures. "Barely reads, just thinks" - yeah, not exactly. This one is just a total miss. I read too much. Not just an endless series of audiobooks, or text-to-speech documents, or podcast narrations of blog posts/articles/etc. I do have a large collection of physical books and add more at the rate of roughly 1/month. I've read most of them, and always have something "on deck" which I chew through gradually, usually any time I make tea in the evening. And yeah, "can't understand new things" - this seems like another uncharitable and dismissive interpretation of this psychology. Maybe others don't have curiosity. That sounds wrong to me though. I don't think you'd get everything on this list if it wasn't someone interested in ideas and interested in taking in new ideas where they've noticed a lack within themselves. Maybe this is specifically a critique of something more specific? I do find it hard to pick up new hobbies. I write, and occasionally learn a new game like chess or poker. I have a hard time picking up something like wood carving or pen and paper art - both of which I've started but which sorta just dissolved into forgotten things that clutter storage... But that isn't what I'd call "can't understand new things." I'd be alarmed to discover that at some point I stopped learning new things, because it would've needed to have slowed and stopped at some point... But yeah, I can think of examples from the past few days of new stuff I've learned, so if this is a criticism someone would direct at me, it would probably be for the hobby thing. "Yeah, you may now know how causal graphs work when you didn't understand that as well last week, but I can't see you learning that in posts on Instagram, so it doesn't count as the right kind of learning." Well, anyway, thanks for the thought provoking content. The advice about controlling your mind is something that I'll be thinking about today. Is that ironic? Maybe. I'll think about that question too. Also, my face doesn't look like that. Swap in the doomer guy's face and remove the cigarette and you've got it. I occasionally furrow my brow and get tense, but generally my thoughts and their reflection in my physiology tend towards the depressive.

As the 25 yo thinker addressed... I agree that the solution to the madness is to just do the things you're thinking of ... but I truly do not see the avenues to do those things around me. I graduated college and moved a year ago, and since then the largest social avenues I can find for people in my age group involves bars, spending money and hook ups, and I literally don't enjoy those things as much (if at all) as I enjoy game nights, making things from scratch, hiking, friendship, etc, for which I haven't found any groups. So I feel like the thinker's core struggle, that being disconnection and isolation, is not necessarily an individual problem. It sucks. But regardless it IS crucial to not quit. Not going to find those things by quitting either.

I genuinely have no hope for myself anymore, mostly because I never liked myself for as long as I can remember. Nearly 20 years from the age of 5.

If you don't resonate with the solutions in this video, another option for approaching these problems is to give up on the concept of having dignity. We all seem to think we need dignity all the time, even though it doesn't make us more likable or happier, and the situations where it makes us more effective are very limited. Literally every time I tell people one of my key skills is having no dignity, they instantly become more likely to want to be my friend. (Admittedly I don't spend a lot of time in boardrooms or courtrooms.) Go out and be ridiculous. Lean into it. I promise you it will be fine. If you like you can even practice by going to a different city for a while.

Wow. I've never thought about myself in this way before. I'll try to try from now on. Thanks, Dr. K.

Dr. K, you are wise, direct, and experienced. It’s the perfect combo for teaching others with humility. I appreciate you 🙏

I've never heard a doctor swear so much while explaining things.

damn I fill all 2 criteria, can't wait for next year where I'll be cured of being 25

I feel like I have a lot to share that might help about this, and it's quite different from what Dr. K is offering. I can't speak for this archetype, but I know that I've spent a lot of time thinking, I've sacrificed two degrees, I've distanced myself from friends and family for over 3 years, I've worked in fast food (and still do), I'm 26, and I have no ambition for a career -- which funnily enough makes me somewhat qualified to talk about this? Thinking has become more and more prevalent in my life, and I've been waiting and hoping for some kind of a bursting through the cloud moment where I figure it all out, and somewhat surprisingly actually I feel a fair bit as though it's actually come. But first things first is it's weird to talk about this as though 'I'm fixed now and now I get to bestow you with my ultimate truth', that's not what this is. With any new idea I've had about how to be happier with my life, it has been as though I was desperately trying to gauge if 'maybe **now** I'm normal', constantly testing the waters for if I've kind done enough analysis to have *completed* my problems and getting excited about the prospect that maybe I have, but I don't like doing that anymore, it feels *incredibly* uncomfortable -- so that's not what I'm saying (which you know is one of those paradoxes in life that I think signals something actually good). There's a template to a lot of problems in my life that looks like this. I'll think and think and think about what's valuable to me, and for the most part I'll suffer in failing to find an answer that resonates with me, just feeling lost and confused. But, occasionally I'll actually manage to stumble across something that seems to motivate me. I'll take this little nugget of inspiration and think and think and think about how to work towards this said thing, what I can do to really fulfill these ambitions of mine, and I'll take great pleasure in exploring all of the options and figuring the details of it out, what it is more specifically that I'm aiming for, whether there's a broader understanding that explains it better, etc. An example of this would be, I've been very temperamentally interested in languages, and I've spent a great deal of time thinking about how to learn languages best. I've reasoned that trying to 'study' grammar and vocabulary etc. doesn't make much sense to me, particularly because this is something you never did as a child to learn your native language, and you're native in it for christ's sake -you were an expert at learning languages- so I've been very skeptical that somehow this becomes applicable as an adult. I came up with all these observations of important things to do to learn them like 'don't just try to translate it into your native language in your head because that's not what natives do so why would you do it?', or put differently 'stop trying to guess at the meaning of things, it's ok to just pay attention to the sounds for now', 'don't try to speak the sounds of a language you can't even mentally recall the sound of, because you're not going to be able to tell how english you sound', and the list goes on... I do all of this analysis, and I love it, but then -inevitably- the motivation to learn these things wanes, and I'm stranded yet again. Particularly for me, I've questioned whether I've just been pretending to be interested in this stuff the whole time, and now the charade is up and I'm actually just fundamentally lacking passion for life, and I've also thought that maybe I have ADHD because I gradually seem to get more and more resentful towards picking up where I left off until I resent the entire thing and want to give up altogether, and I've then resented myself for not just being able to carry on analysing this stuff. Looking back, it always seems that I enjoyed analysing this stuff up until the point it started making claims about what I ought to then actually act upon, up until it started saying: 'maybe actually talking to people who speak a different language would be a good idea', or 'maybe at the very least you should listen to content of people just speaking their language'. At most, I could stomach an hour of actually acting out these th'oughts' before I got so uncomfortable I knew something was up and I'd have to stop, but I seemed to hate myself endlessly for even needing to. This example could really almost be copy pasted for everything I've tried to do in life, for example: reading, going to the gym, learning to cook, studying psychology, studying physics, studying music, learning guitar, learning keyboard, learning about history, learning programming, pursuing a career in data analysis, gardening, cycling, learning about ecology, learning Spanish, learning Russian, learning Chinese, learning about fashion, learning about anatomy, etc. Those are just the ones I can think of at the moment. Every one of these has had a kind of hope associated with it, hope I've tried to identify with them, only to find myself drifting away from it and hating myself for it. Most of the analysis led me to a place of 'you actually just need to be genuinely interested in this stuff in order to learn it as deeply and insightfully as you aspire to learn it', and yet I for the most part just wasn't. The same is true for speaking to people, I analysed and paid enough attention of my experiences to find my way to realising that I just needed to *want* to talk to people in order to be sufficiently curious about them to have engaging conversation, and open enough to actually allow them to speak things different from what I'd say, and yet I absolutely had no space for appreciating that maybe, just maybe, I actually just didn't want to talk to them -- the implications were too awful and too great. I often clung to and puppeteered the long-dead corpse of interests and inspiration because I *needed* them to lead me somewhere. I fucking *needed* it to evolve into a full plane of interests, and particularly into a successful career, so that I'm not a failure, that I can finally make something of my life and not be ashamed of how shit my life is. But even when I pursued things that I felt tried to circumvent the need for it to lead to a successful career, as with my pursuit of languages and music, I quickly lost motivation precisely because I couldn't seem to afford to be interested in these things yet. What's changed for me has been really being aware of this desperation for things to work out, and the paradoxical costs of this desperation. Maybe it's OK if they don't, and weirdly maybe only through being OK with it not working out will the desperation clear and open up the space for genuine passion. Then what happens is you're so used to thinking this stuff that you might take those words and think them deliberately, like instructions in your head, instructions that you're trying to carry out *because* you're so desperate for them to aid you in your quest to betterment. I think it's just anxiety. We're so anxious about needing our lives to look a certain way that confusingly it closes off the opportunity for other feelings that might actually motivate us to make our lives better. Eh, reading it back, I'm not particularly proud of what i've written here but I'll post it regardless. There's just too much to say in one comment unless you want a literal novel. It really belongs to conversation rather than exposition, but hopefully you find something useful in all this.

I find that as I become more active in putting my thoughts to action my 25 year old thinker problem does not go away. It’s as though I just think faster than my action keeps up, and even when taking action my mind is preoccupied with another thought or new idea. It’s as though I can do all my tasks while mentally preoccupied and the end result feels the same as when I exclusively think without taking action

Phew, he's not talking to me. I'm 36.