Ancestral Mating Strategies VS Modern Mating - Mads Larsen

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Mads Larsen is a Norwegian author and journalist whose research focuses on the history of human mating ideologies.
The narrative of human romance is an ancient story. But that story has not always remained the same, the last 10,000 years has been a crazy journey through different beliefs on why we should find and stay with a partner and today we get to hear about all the fascinating details.
Expect to learn why it's so illuminating to study the story of mating ideologies across time, how our modern beliefs about finding a partner are historically very unusual, why having a daughter as a farmer could be a useful addition to your farming strategy, why Incels are so unhappy, why old people are the happiest despite evidence to the contrary in the past and much more...
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#dating #love #philosophy
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00:00 Why Does Mating Need an Ideology?
03:09 Our Ancestors’ Typical Mating Strategies
12:33 The Oldest Mating Ideology
18:52 Why Churches Imposed Monogamy
23:20 When Courtship Was Introduced
34:33 The Basis For Our Current Mating Ideology
42:39 The Post-1750 Sexual Revolutions
48:38 Did the Church Lose Control in 1750?
55:48 Impact of Introducing Contraception
1:01:30 What is Causing Today’s Mating Dysfunctions?
1:10:27 Are We On the Verge of a New Mating Era?
1:23:11 Why Are People So Unhappy?
1:34:27 How Comparison Can Impact Wellbeing
1:45:19 Where to Find Mads
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Опубликовано:

5 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 546

@ChrisWillx 8 месяцев назад

Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than RU-vid by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Why Does Mating Need an Ideology? 03:09 Our Ancestors’ Typical Mating Strategies 12:33 The Oldest Mating Ideology 18:52 Why Churches Imposed Monogamy 23:20 When Courtship Was Introduced 34:33 The Basis For Our Current Mating Ideology 42:39 The Post-1750 Sexual Revolutions 48:38 Did the Church Lose Control in 1750? 55:48 Impact of Introducing Contraception 1:01:30 What is Causing Today’s Mating Dysfunctions? 1:10:27 Are We On the Verge of a New Mating Era? 1:23:11 Why Are People So Unhappy? 1:34:27 How Comparison Can Impact Wellbeing 1:45:19 Where to Find Mads

@LavishPatchKid 7 месяцев назад

Women were literally property until a century ago. lol Property quite literally is 'for life'. What really cracks me up - is contemporary intelligentsia doing everything they can to get people to swallow the horrible ramifications of luminary pipe dreams; to which are crumbling all around them, proving empirically the futility of said pipe dreams. How long is humanity going to be drug through the mud for these 'intellectuals' who can't get over the fact everything they learned was wrong?

@GladiatorCez 7 месяцев назад

"Hello beauities", now that's clearly someone who's grandaddy's grandaddy was a pimp

@TheMar320 7 месяцев назад

pls which is the study that he is mentioning at 11:00???

@friendsinthefold 6 месяцев назад

Just going to comment here... So many thoughts to comment on. I have 4 sons, between 30 and 22 years old. One is married and has a daughter. He and his wife put in 10 hours of community service a week together teaching English for free, etc. They take care of their child, which bonds them and increases the "meaning" levels in the index as Mads might say. They are observant members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-daySaints. They actively look for those who are lower on the ladder to help. They are happy because they get a kick out of lifting others lives. They create and enhance community. They give time and even a set percentage of their income to charitable giving of their own selection (beyond what they tithe). Mads would say that they are happy "relatively" but I wonder if that correlation of service is not actually the causation of their happiness/meaning. As social animals, isn't it possible, even based on evolution, that selfless interaction itself elicits joy (perhaps distinct from happiness, if you prefer)? I agree with Chris that we are on a trajectory to snuff ourselves out with our Western philosophy. I'm not as optimistic about mechanized reproduction. But I am optimistic about human learning. It is probably too late to overcome the population winter for our current Western nations, but we can improve our current existence by fiercely combating selfishness and reaching out to others in need. It gives humans hope in the worst of circumstances, see Victor Frankl. I personally base my hope on Jesus Christ. He is my example of reaching out to give. I've been married for 33 years by sharing a Christ centered worldview with my husband. I can only say it has worked fantastically for me. My other sons are trying their luck at the dating scene. It's a train wreck, not going to lie. But it's just so fraught with "self". The participants can't even imagine the benefits of a life partner. In this discussion, you spoke of the burden and discomfort of monogamy. Is that coming from a perspective skeptical of monogamy? Yes, we should all have healthy sexual desire. It's a gift to mankind. But controlling and directing that gift of passion (see Plato) also brings its own rewards, beyond the temporary thrill of promiscuity. Building a monogamous relationship helps participants create a "we". They learn to move beyond every selfish urge and redirect toward the good of the new organism they form together. It's really pretty fulfilling and challenging and yields great fruits. I admit it's not vogue, but it us amazing.

@warrenbooth2103 8 месяцев назад

My wife and I were married for 55 years she died in late September I am missing her every day life long relationships are the very best .

@iand7475 8 месяцев назад

You was lucky to find that.

@champboehm7863 7 месяцев назад

❤

@catcat9582 7 месяцев назад

What was she like? I wish I knew men who could love for so long. You and her must be wonderful people

@ghowell13 7 месяцев назад

My condolences, sir. I may not be the right person to comment, either, and my comment may not be the the best one to see, but yours brought a few things to mind. My wife and I have been together 27 years, married 22 of those. My in-laws were together 58 years, married 53 of those. We lost them 58 days apart, the end of this month will be a year ago for her, February will be a year for him. I hope I go first, as I've seen how my wife handles losing people, compared to me. I know that's selfish sounding on the surface. She'll survive without me. I wouldn't make it without her, i don't believe, and I'm not certain I'd want to. Broken heart syndrome is a real thing. I wish you the best, as said above, honor your wife by living how she would want you to. Don't dare give up. I've had to remind my father of that myself over the last 5 years, knowing I'd need my daughter to do the same for me. God bless, sir❤

@mhuntprofessional 7 месяцев назад

I don't envy you the grief that comes as the price for the severing of a bond that lasted most of a lifetime. But I envy you for the bond. Many of us, myself included will spend more of our lives trying to find and build a connection that deep and meaningful than you spent in it. We're the ones who deserve pity. But I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can value the good more than feel the bad as you transition to the next part of your life. Continue to be the man she loved you for. And carry the torch of her energy and light in all of your daily life. 🙏

@pocmouse3909 8 месяцев назад

As a Christian who believes in "until death," i learned a lesson when my ex-wife left the faith, cheated, and now we are divorced. There is an anguish with only being able to see my children in the summer due to the court system. I am remarried to a wonderful woman and now have 6 children. I still believe in marriage, however, the court system is absolutely terrible. I learned it takes two to get married, but only one to ruin it.

@mhuntprofessional 7 месяцев назад

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm glad that in the grand picture that your faith was rewarded and multiplied, much like Job. But be careful about making statements like the one at the end. There's a saying that goes something like "the man who believes himself truly free from the illusion is still trapped inside of it." Which alludes to when you see yourself without fault in a situation, you often just lack awareness of your faults. And thats a dangerous thing to take to a new relationship. So I will not victim blame, but I WILL suggest that you should spend some time on introspection and see if you were truly without contribution to the dissolution of your previous marriage and focus your efforts on self growth to be better for your current one, rather than blame. 🙏

@Xplora213 7 месяцев назад

Yep… this comment probably sums up the entire issue. The current no fault divorce environment is really an untenable situation for a man in particular - the severity of marital failure does not match the ease of divorce, and the fact that it’s only one side to ruin the entire family…. Nothing good has come from the new system. Yes plenty of people have escaped abuse and unhappiness but far more have suffered from weak partners refusing to keep trying. Marriage is a stronger institution than the people within it.

@pocmouse3909 7 месяцев назад

@@mhuntprofessional i appreciate your response. Of course every marriage has its ups and downs. I am not stuck in any sort of delusion. I have and willing accept what faults were mine. I understand where you are coming from, but i never said i was faultless. What i said is, it takes two to get married and only one to ruin it. (As in it only takes one to end it) There is a difference between mistakes, and marriage ending mistakes. Thank you for your reply.

@blackandwhitetube 7 месяцев назад

How did your mind ever rest enough to trust again enough to remarry and refather after having the things a man generally values most in life, his family, completely ripped away from him. Hats off to you sir, you have a much greater tolerance for the possibility of repeated maximum pain than I do.

@pocmouse3909 7 месяцев назад

@@blackandwhitetube i worked 12 hour nightshifts half of the year when i was with my ex. She took the kids because it would be impossible for me to support myself, mortgage and my departed family if i quit my job. The only reasonable choice was to find a good and Godly woman who understood my situation and in return i would help her if she had children as well. (I need a partner to help me so i can see my kids, if she agrees, i can be a good husband and father to her kids) long story short, i met this woman and even though we both were looking for a helpful partner, we ended up maddly in love. It never was so much about trust. My heart was ripped to shreds, but who cares, i still can do some good with the time i am given. My wife and i looked for Godly partners who are committed to a Christian ethic and way of life first, love came second. Not saying everyone will understand that, but i needed a wife so i could see my kids, found much more in the end. Life isnt about what you can get out of it, its what you can put into it. Wake up, do something good with it, even if it hurts .

@geucamole 5 месяцев назад

I really like how Mads Larsen explains everything in a very articulate and logical way without wasting a word!

@NiblaTheCosmic 7 месяцев назад

As a young man, this was absolutely fascinating. This should be integrated in High School history class.

@abhis9353 7 месяцев назад

They should teach this stuff instead of a lot of the useless bs

@Lawrence-tw6yc 7 месяцев назад

@abhis9353 I've seen many similar comments. I've just started watching. What did you learn and how does it help you?

@Sambo_123 7 месяцев назад

This is a theory and a rather absolutist one at that. Notice his choice of words, how he phrases things, and his eurocentric perspective.

@slantdwave 7 месяцев назад

We learned this in European history.

@rcmunro22 7 месяцев назад

I'm gonna be honest, be appreciative, this Podcast is years worth of life experience, History Class Lessons, and general knowledge pertaining Mating Practices condensed into a easy to digest Hour and a Half. Everything they talked about was 100% accurate.

@ShieldEntertainment 8 месяцев назад

"[Human mating ideologies] is the foundation of all social orders. We like to think that politics, philosophy, all those big subjects are what it's all about, but at the foundation it's how men and women reproduce. And upon that, everything else rests. So if that falls apart, our societies fall apart too." What a bomb to drop in the first 30 seconds. Looking forward to this.

@mattmattmatt131313 8 месяцев назад

As somebody said " You can change gender roles, but you will always have gender roles."

@randallanderson1632 7 месяцев назад

I'm about a million years old... okay, I'm 72. I never liked the idea of getting married. I would describe to myself what marriage is; vowing you're going to be with this woman for the rest of your life, and I could not make that commitment. Maybe it's a bit odd but I have been with the same woman for almost 40 years. No kids. She has her house and I have my condo. I go over to her house every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, she comes over to my condo on Saturday evening. We go on vacations together and everyone in her family considers me a full family member. I figure I'm only going to live once, I might as well try to do it the most enjoyable way.

@gadohimself 7 месяцев назад

You are what I strive to be like 🙏🏽

@mattmurphy6250 7 месяцев назад

I'm 32 and this is how I want to live my next 40+ years. Can I contact you to learn what it's like?

@5.dot.connector 7 месяцев назад

I listened to it twice and feel much illuminated about where we're coming from and where we actually are.. great thinker, Mads Larsen. Thank you very much Chris for having him on. I could have listened to this in much more detail.

@Soggygranite 7 месяцев назад

The main problem with being individualistic and not mating for long term is that our society is currently not set up financially for humans to self sustain alone. Getting through life with a second person contributing financially is one of the many huge benefits of mating long term.

@polysaturated 5 месяцев назад

Also a constant supply of young people is required to take care of the elderly, financially and often physically as well.

@edheldude 19 дней назад

Nature will correct this by the West having a massive population collapse. There will be free condos - just like there are in Japan rn.

@lori3032 7 месяцев назад

This is one of the most fascinating interviews on the LF podcast circuit in a while. Thank you!

@Elfinboots87 7 месяцев назад

It all makes sense now🙌🏽 huge appreciation for this guest Chris! Mind blown how well Mads and you summarized history of civilization and modern day struggles when it comes to dating. Absolute gem

@delina9558 7 месяцев назад

Absolutely OUTSTANDING CONVERSATION! I too learned a lot - Thank you both!

@tempsoda 7 месяцев назад

I started listening to this on the drive to the gym, then didnt want to get out the car, always a good sign! 😂 Great conversation, Mads is an awesome guest, so conscice and knowledgeable. Loved this one ❤

@lucaeskaliert8880 5 месяцев назад

Continue to listen in the gym?

@stevecooper7883 2 месяца назад

@@lucaeskaliert8880Some people don't like to get sweaty headphones

@dianedean4170 7 месяцев назад

Brilliant conversation with ❤Mads, Chris🎉😊 I really appreciate taking the journey through history with you both. I worked with life drawing students and teachers for many years and the perspectives you are expressing are reflected in all the arts created from the expeditions with nature. Chris, you and Mads are describing the authentic processes of choosing wisely. Live, love and learn🎉❤😊

@mariocaserta6276 7 месяцев назад

Wow…. Best conversation I’ve heard all year. You two where great. And I was very impressed with the Host as he furthered the conversation along with core questions. Wonderful ….. yes I will try to promote this conversation.

@ericdraven3654 8 месяцев назад

I listened to this one on Spotify this morning. Simply amazing. One of the best episodes I watched so far. So informative and insightful. To listen and relisten. Cheers from Spain.

@parkers969 8 месяцев назад

I’m optimistic about the future, despite what Mads says about “creating babies outside of the womb” etc for the sole reason that nature always wins. We have spent hundreds of years on infant formula and breast milk still blows it out of the water. Vaginal childbirth is still advantageous for both mother and baby (compared to c sections). An infant placed on its mothers chest within seconds of coming into this world has improved cognitive function. We can try all we want to improve technology, but at the end of the day we are still animals living in a biological ecosystem that has been honing itself to perfection for millennia. Humans are no match for Mother Nature.

@u13erfitz 7 месяцев назад

@@Stierenkloot Three things. Population collapse for the urban elite is only 30 years away at most. There is no definite timeline for when these technologies will exist and be widely adopted. Finally, why wouldn't the people focused on pair bonding and having children use these technologies to have more children? The biggest sticking point is the third one. Even if you can get these techniques made and cheap, wouldn't the people having babies just have more babies. Also he talks about not going back like that's absurd. If our principles are leading to our death it's time to go back.

@oriondye3212 7 месяцев назад

Birthrates are declining precisely because people dont want to just “have more babies”, so thats not going to change any time in the near future. As to artificial wombs, the primary user of that technology will not he men, nor women, nor families, it will he governments. When a government can mass produce children without having to rely on the finicky and unpopular family model then they will do so.

@Dale-Winthorpe-CEO 7 месяцев назад

And yet, millions of healthy babies are being born every year fed with formula. Millions are being born via IVF. Appeal to nature fallacy isn't helpful when nature used to kill 50% of babies before the age of 1. Thankfully modern science has reduced that to less than 4%. Yes the 'natural' way can be beneficial, but our human brains evolved to give us the wisdom to pick & choose which option is best in a given situation. Nothing is black & white.

@darcycolborne2565 7 месяцев назад

@@Stierenkloot The only problem is that, sixty years from now, the only cultures that will be left are the ones that subjugate women and enforce high birth rate. The west won't handle this population cliff very well.

@RILEYLEIFSON_UTAH 7 месяцев назад

@@Stierenkloot Why is your assumption that "things will just moving forward exponentially" the default position? Many things could happen that could set us back just as many years.

@TopJoo7 8 месяцев назад

Such a good discussion, and Chris, your podcast is exploding upwards!

@mlwosko 7 месяцев назад

There's a few books that changed my life the moment I read them. Nietzsche's The Will To Power, 12 Rules for Life by JBP, For Whom The Bell Tolls by Hemingway. This is a podcast episode that I can equate to those great books. Astonishingly eye-opening. Thank you, Chris!

@avaceleste 7 месяцев назад

Fascinating discussion regarding the origins of these dynamics, their roles and implications. Thank you both.

@K4R3N 7 месяцев назад

Fascinating discussion, thank you Mads and Chris. Looking forward to Mads' books

@illy_6 7 месяцев назад

Truly fascinating discussion - thank you for this episode!

@OCJoker2009 7 месяцев назад

Such a fascinating and intriguing conversation! Well done executed interview & questions. :)

@thomasneff5510 7 месяцев назад

Love your channel man - been watching for a few months now.. Awesome content and often very inspiring!

@MariaRose360 7 месяцев назад

This is my favourite history lesson ever! I wrote notes and just loved this conversation. So interesting to hear all the positive influences Christianity had. I almost didn't watch because of the title but I'm so glad I did.

@calacestar 7 месяцев назад

This is easily the most mind-blowing and enlightening episode I've watched! The church, out of all institutions, started the emancipation movement in the 12th century?! This would've sounded insane to me just half an hour ago 😂 This is amazing!

@jimbohaddon 7 месяцев назад

This was a incredible conversation, well done, great stuff 👏

@RecoveringHermit 7 месяцев назад

Loved this one, especially the trip through history that was fascinating. This is my favourite episode so far.

@davidthompson974 7 месяцев назад

Great conversation! Thanks Chris and Mads 🙏

@boones999 7 месяцев назад

What a fantastic episode. Today you've introduced me to yet another brilliant guy. Keep up the good work.

@webthom 6 месяцев назад

Fantastic insight. Great interview. As Tony Robbins says: Change your meaning/story change your life. We all can change the meaning right now. We are in control.

@DarkForestAtmosphere 6 месяцев назад

FAN-TASTIC episode. Cannot wait for Mads books to come out. Whilst listening to this, I was frantically searching for his books; wish I'd waited till the end of the podcast. So fascinating and makes so much sense. I'd love to read a couple of lengthy, in-depth tomes. Hopefully, they will be. Thanks Chris, for your insightful, and always refreshing questions, your searching, and your genuine goodness.

@peripheralparadox4218 7 месяцев назад

Internet dating has become the latest sexual revolution. Unattached polygamy and massive male loneliness here we come!

@agricolaregs 7 месяцев назад

Marriage provides stability in society. It’s necessary.

@peripheralparadox4218 7 месяцев назад

@@agricolaregs but the matriarchy doesn’t feel that way.

@themick6586 7 месяцев назад

You call it male lonelyness but its really male aloneness. Many men want to be left alone, and not deal with the feminist epidemic, they are not lonely. They have peace in their lives.

@peripheralparadox4218 7 месяцев назад

@@themick6586 there are men who are alone and happy with that and there are men who are lonely and wish they could have a good woman. I don’t know what the stats are precisely, but male loneliness is a real problem. Despondency and suicide. Depression. That is the reality for many men and you are trying to disregard that.

@costantin75 7 месяцев назад

Gotta be honest - from the title of the video, I didn't expect much from this interview. But it was a really good one. What a clear minded and informed person Mads is!

@denzelamarus5259 7 месяцев назад

I will risk saying this is the best podcast I've ever seen and listen to so far. Mind blowing.

@pmcauslan 6 месяцев назад

💯

@eyesthatwatch69 7 месяцев назад

Been a subsriber for ages, bit this is the most mind blowing ep ive ever heard

@rositsazlatanova1146 7 месяцев назад

A most interesting conversation, thank you!

@manubhatt3 6 месяцев назад

He is talking about History from a Eurocentric perspective I suppose without ever explicitly stating so.

@basscataz 7 месяцев назад

Late in the talk he mentions that all of the solutions look dystopian. Fair enough, but aren't things already becoming more dystopian by the day?

@bobbykite8705 6 месяцев назад

Sad that this only has 76k views. The information that I accumulated during this podcast was astounding.

@mattanderson6672 7 месяцев назад

Really enjoyed that!! Thanks guys!

@dameanvil 8 месяцев назад

00:00 🧬 Mating ideologies form the foundation of social orders, as they revolve around reproduction, which impacts all aspects of society. 01:20 🤔 An ideology compels people to mate, aligning biological impulses with modern demands, ensuring reproduction and societal stability. 02:14 🚫 Contraception and increased child-rearing costs have changed the demands on mating in the modern world compared to ancestral times. 03:08 🌍 Modern individualistic ideologies and uncertainties about the future disincentivize reproduction, impacting mating behaviors. 04:43 👥 Early human ancestors practiced promiscuous mating, distributing genes for rapid adaptation. 05:41 🧬 Transition to pair bonding involved males providing resources, leading to paternal investment and development of high/low status mating strategies. 08:08 🌍 Polygamy and promiscuity were prevalent in early human societies, influencing social stability and dynamics. 10:49 ⚖ Gregorian reform imposed lifelong monogamy, shifting power dynamics and property ownership, leading to sexual egalitarianism and individualistic psychology. 15:08 💔 Heroic love narrative justified an oppressive, misogynistic culture, emphasizing male dominance and female submission. 17:40 🙏 Church's imposition of monogamy and control over mating benefited them materially, giving them power over both men and women. 23:22 💔 Courtly love ideology emerged in the 12th century, dissolving the previous heroic love narrative, reflecting evolving societal values. 23:49 📜 The concept of "heroic love" in ancient times emphasized strong, enduring love that discouraged high-status men from having multiple partners. 24:31 📜 Ballads and romances promoted not only being a great warrior but also engaging in sophisticated social interactions, including flirting, to win a woman's affection. 25:40 📜 The emergence of "courtly love" was influenced by new social norms in feudal Europe, encouraging openness and friendliness towards strangers, not just in romantic relationships but in society as a whole. 26:18 📜 With the Gregorian reform, marriages transitioned from being private to being conducted through the church, leading to a unique marriage pattern in medieval Europe. 27:00 📜 The European marriage pattern pushed up the age of marriage, shortening the reproductive period and leading to a lower sex ratio due to restricted sexuality. 30:43 📜 In the 15th century, after the Black Death, there was a period of increased promiscuity and sexual laxness due to a reduced population, but as the population recovered, sexual norms tightened again. 32:30 📜 Courtly love introduced various restrictions on romantic relationships, including seeking consent from women and emphasizing female choice in marriage. 34:32 📜 The transition to "companionate love" focused on practicality, emphasizing partners working together to run a farm and raise children, without a strong emphasis on romantic or erotic feelings. 36:22 📜 Puritanism emerged as a response to the need to restrict sexuality in order to prevent overpopulation and potential Malthusian crises. 40:14 📜 The introduction of individual choice in mating decisions marked a significant shift from historical arranged marriages, leading to increased personal responsibility in selecting partners. 46:56 🚻 The speaker discusses the potential consequences of engaging in extramarital affairs, even if one doesn't get caught by the involved parties, emphasizing the impact on trust and relationships within the community. 48:18 🌍 The speaker explains that our ancestors did not prioritize being charismatic or flirtatious, as the demands of their time were different from today's, where charm can be beneficial in social interactions. 52:52 💑 The concept of "Romantic Utopia" emerged after World War II, promoting the ideal of lifelong monogamy and traditional gender roles of breadwinner and homemaker. However, it had shortcomings, and societal shifts led to a move towards confluent love, emphasizing gender equality and convenience in relationships. 57:28 💑 The introduction of reliable contraception played a significant role in enabling the shift towards confluent love, as it provided the means for more flexible and equal partnerships. 01:00:31 🔄 Urbanization and ideological shifts towards individualism and self-realization have contributed to modern dating patterns. The speaker also highlights the challenges of achieving long-term pair bonding in the face of these changes. 01:03:15 📉 Despite efforts to incentivize reproduction through gender equality and generous welfare, fertility rates continue to decline in many countries, indicating that additional factors are at play. 01:08:08 🚻 The speaker acknowledges the benefits of gender equality and financial independence for women, but notes that it has also led to increased competition for high-value partners, contributing to higher rates of singleness and lower fertility. This dynamic presents a complex challenge in modern dating and relationships. 01:11:20 🌍 The modern world is a complex mix of evolved mating psychology, cultural carryovers, and technological advancements, leading to challenges in relationships and mating. 01:12:16 📱 Dating apps, a little over a decade old, have introduced new dynamics, making it difficult for individuals to understand their mate preferences amidst societal and technological changes. 01:13:23 👥 The concept of individual choice in mating is relatively new in human evolution, and it's uncertain if this approach will work for the long term, especially considering declining fertility rates. 01:15:26 📊 Ideologies that hinder reproduction, regardless of their nature, will eventually fade away as they lead to the decline of those who hold them. 01:17:41 🔄 Anticipate a significant impact on mating and relationships with the advent of technologies like gene editing, artificial wombs, and AI companions, potentially reshaping societal foundations. 01:24:17 💔 Understanding the different mate preferences, power dynamics, and challenges in today's dating economy can foster better communication and empathy between men and women, addressing issues like inceldom and singleness. 01:28:10 💡 The rapid pace of societal change can lead to feelings of despair and hopelessness, particularly in the context of mating and reproduction, challenging individuals' adaptability and well-being. 01:32:49 🌟 Young people have historically been happier, while older people tend to be less happy due to differences in goals and life stages. 01:33:16 🌍 Since 2009, there has been a sharp decline in happiness for the youngest generation, with a weak rise in happiness for the oldest generation. 01:33:58 🙏 Older generations often feel grateful for having lived through a period of economic prosperity, even though they may have concerns about their children and grandchildren's futures. 01:35:07 🔄 Happiness is relative and influenced by comparisons with others, which can be amplified by social media. 01:36:41 💪 Engaging in altruistic activities or voluntary work can positively impact happiness by recalibrating one's comparison group and providing a sense of perspective. 01:39:13 📈 The optimal recipe for a happy life involves starting from a lower position in society and gradually making progress, while also navigating through personal crises.

@Nuray653 8 месяцев назад

Do you know you're the goat?

@piggysew797 7 месяцев назад

@@Nuray653 🐐

@masterfoggy88 7 месяцев назад

He’s an anvil actually

@rhodabean 7 месяцев назад

Thank you whoever did this!!

@Sacrifice13 7 месяцев назад

Great content, great conversation! Thanks ❤

@loosegoose2466 7 месяцев назад

Amazing episode. Thank you.

@pinyao1 7 месяцев назад

Wow! Great conversation. Humans are so awesome. We can change everything just by telling ourselves a more useful story. We are unstoppable.

@terranceramirez4816 6 месяцев назад

Yeah just until God messes up our language

@pinyao1 6 месяцев назад

@@terranceramirez4816 lol. Drat! Thwarted!

@johnomirth 7 месяцев назад

Outstanding episode!

@steve19811 6 месяцев назад

This is why you surrender to god and practice gratitude for every and all things, healing your internal trauma and then manifesting your dream life....

@DiabeticDawg 8 месяцев назад

It’s until death do we part. Not until we get annoyed and stop trying.

@mikeeinstein1 7 месяцев назад

My life took off after I got divorced. Sometimes people marry the wrong person, especially when they do it very young. Nobody in their twenties should be able to make a choice that lasts the rest of their life.

@DiabeticDawg 7 месяцев назад

@@mikeeinstein1 explain history of man under your statement? Explain females biological clock under the context of your statement. The math does math brother.

@mikeeinstein1 7 месяцев назад

@@DiabeticDawg you just did a bunch of word salad. Why do I need to explain human history and biology? Sometimes people get married when they shouldn't. It doesn't need to be a life sentence. Sometimes everyone is better off when they get divorced.

@Xplora213 7 месяцев назад

@@mikeeinstein1you made a bad choice? It happens. People go bankrupt, their kids become criminals, they get sick. Life isn’t perfect… but you can’t walk away from those failures. Marriage is not about YOU. That’s the hardest lesson in the debate. You realise there are tons of fathers for whom abandoning their children is so much better for them…. Is that an acceptable response to fatherhood at a societal level??? Your personal experience with home made TNT doesn’t make it a good idea. That’s the problem. If 1 divorce in 50 is a idea, that still leaves 98 traumatised divorcees for whom your happiness was not worth the 10 million dollars in legal fees (serious!) lost in the system.

@mikeeinstein1 7 месяцев назад

@@Xplora213 I didn't just walk away from anything, I got divorced. It's a very normal thing to do. It would be less normal if people didn't get married young. And people need to be realistic about what till death do us parts means it. To recap, divorces are common they are okay it is okay to get divorced goodbye

@VastChoirs 7 месяцев назад

Great episode. This guy and Alex Date Psych are my favorites who speak on this topic.

@lala_ho 7 месяцев назад

I love this!! It spoke to my spirit!! Let's get it done!!!

@proddreamatnight 8 месяцев назад

Marriage has been for countless centuries as a symbol of a man and a woman deciding to join their lives into one. It is the foundation of our civilization's progression. Peterson covers the ground on this very well

@adrianbundy3249 7 месяцев назад

But for many countless millenia before that cultures existed just fine without such marriage structures. In fact, some of them have continued to exist, despite the religious of Christians, muslim and even for political reasons Chinese over the years trying to break their culture.

@mhuntprofessional 7 месяцев назад

You sure about that? You SURE that's a thing? Because I'm pretty sure for a reasonable period of recorded history "marriage" was a business transaction by which daughters were traded as resources to neighbors and friends to ensure peaceful bonds or unite families to combine their power and resources. The daughter's consent was not particularly necessary and "love" was rarely a factor. Marriage as the modern concept clocks in is relatively recent in the bigger picture of human history.

@adrianbundy3249 7 месяцев назад

@@mhuntprofessionalIndeed, that's another good point to bring up as well. Marriage itself though hasn't been around forever, and we don't actually need it to function as a civilization.

@cargolot 7 месяцев назад

@@adrianbundy3249 Interesting, monogamy seems to be the best foundation to rise the next generation in a healthy way, which is very necessary in a complex modern society, where a child is expensive and needs a lot of all kinds of support for many years; what is the alternative? When we think about mating we should't forget that it's main point is raising the next generation. The fact that it hasn't been around around forever or it wasn't needed in other contexts doesn't negate it's convenience in modern developed countries. Still i'm very interestated on your take, and examples if you have any.

@adrianbundy3249 7 месяцев назад

You clearly haven't seen the tribal societies that have existed for a lot longer than marriage has been around, with a very multi parent figure/communal upbringing. Multiple mother and father figures. Now you might find it odd and distasteful for a mind not used to it, but statistically, children raised up under poly families that are stable and have those multiple stable parental figures or communal ones tend to do much better than even a monogamous couple that were stable. Because they almost always had support of various kinds to interact with, but it is less of a jump up from the single parent to two parent household is.@@cargolot

@bizzylizzy5075 7 месяцев назад

I truly believe some people are better off on their own … fantastic podcast Chris thank you 😮

@mr.nobody2244 7 месяцев назад

'raises hand'

@marriagecausesdivorce7540 7 месяцев назад

+1 . This is a fantastic point that is never really discussed anywhere. Some people do not have the psychology to be in a long term committed relationship. They are unable to navigate it long term due to things like boredom, novelty, unrealistic standards, etc etc.

@bizzylizzy5075 7 месяцев назад

@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 I think we are conditioned to pro create which is fine by me but I think it’s unrealistic to assume we can be with one person forever? What about growth ? Healing, Trauma , Co dependency, I could go on , I’m sure happily married people exist , that’s beautiful, personally I can’t understand the whole marriage concept !

@joojotin 7 месяцев назад

@@bizzylizzy5075Well if you are atheist I dont think there is any reason to marry. I dont know why atheists marry at all. Its biblical seremony after all but of course there is people who marry also nowdays and it has nothing to do with God in their seremony.

@Raul.bm7 6 месяцев назад

incredible podcast, loved it! My favorite topic, please more like this one

@reikoviolin 7 месяцев назад

The part about courtly love interests me very much! I once did a major research paper on French troubadours (travelling musicians around 1100-1300) and their music; I argued that their lyrics about courtly love, even though they were about love for a human counterpart, had a connection to (or mirrored) spiritual/mystical love for God. Perhaps the ideas about Christian ideal on monogamous love (along with ideas on love for God) were spread via popular songs sung by troubadours that way, affecting how opposite sexes related to each other in the long run. These are just vague ideas I’m throwing around here. I’m just fascinated by the thought of music affecting society in such a large scale!

@somedandy7694 7 месяцев назад

Well...your theory would certainly be backed up by how wrecked society got when rock n' roll, etc started blasting the praises of noncommittal sex on radios the world over.

@robbiecale3327 7 месяцев назад

@@somedandy7694wow I've found someone with a 1960s Christian parent ideology in 2023

@somedandy7694 7 месяцев назад

@@robbiecale3327 And?

@mhuntprofessional 7 месяцев назад

"COURTLY love" My deaf ass kept hearing "Courtney Love" and then I was angry about Kurt Kobain all over again. ...he deserved better. 😂😂😂

@terry9238 10 дней назад

He could have gotten a divorce. That he chose to do what he did suggests that a bad marriage was far from the worst problem in his life.

@SteeleMan223 7 месяцев назад

Bomb podcast. I feel like my daily dose of Neutonic really enhanced the viewing experience.

@auswomble 7 месяцев назад

that was a belter, bravo sir

@mattcorley4622 7 месяцев назад

I've watched this episode 3 times. Exceptional.

@Bongazulu2 7 месяцев назад

Me too

@jackodonnell3463 7 месяцев назад

Unexpectedly fascinating.

@ariesstage2188 7 месяцев назад

This was deep!!!. Changes perspective on many scales

@gordanamileusnic4997 7 месяцев назад

amazing video!

@autisticautumn7379 6 месяцев назад

Brilliant interview loved this !

@MrJAhannes 7 месяцев назад

Spirituality is the gamechanger that is not mentioned here. The future is bright and filled with love ❤❤❤

@joshuavaughan9288 7 месяцев назад

This discussion is very interesting. Particularly looking at how the church across history has clearly had a profound impact on the development and changes within mating practices within society. Interesting listening to two, I assume non Christians, describe the actions of 'the church' as rabidly intentional, or social engineers in some way. Particularly in relation to the reasons why they introduced various ideas, e.g to control powerful men. As a pose to any actual direction being given from God which have created a greater soil for societal development, safer cities, due to greater egalitarian views and a greater understanding of how and why we may have been created - man for wife etc - consent and many more that you talked about. I think you seem to suggest that no one is able to be 'the architect of their times' but suggest the church knows what exactly what they're doing. I personally think that they don't know the effects of their actions but are actually adhering to a being which does. Following Gods direction, that tells us how we are to treat each other, live with one another, love one another, joined by a purpose beyond just mating and copulation, that we are made for more than sex, conquest, power etc. I think God knows the effect of these small societal changes we have made

@robertmatthews2154 7 месяцев назад

I'm not religious but I agree with the consequent of your statement, namely that the Church probably did not "direct" these changes to affect a certain outcome, but rather did what it believed to be right at the time. Religious or not, I think we can all agree that these decisions and practices had a profoundly positive impact on society and the world. Additionally, this is why I find it strange that the guest thinks that "going backwards" to when men were more economically productive, and women utilized their knowledge and skills to care for the home and those within, is dystopic; especially because he views the prospect of sex robots, AI lovers, and artificial wombs as preferable to the modern age.

@4444dmiller 5 месяцев назад

This is my favourite podcast episode yet

@mdaaaa1211 7 месяцев назад

This was extremely informative

@TheLarryStanley 7 месяцев назад

He just casually explains why we are the way we are

@MarkRobertson-dr1oc 7 месяцев назад

Mating Ideology - is there a more interesting, diverse and pertinent subject? Awesome - thanks Chris

@mattconway7409 7 месяцев назад

Fascinating conversation

@M3rcy777 7 месяцев назад

This is so interesting. This makes Christian norms easier to understand. My perspective on our ancestors has been changing more and more. I'm a lot less judgemental. Our standards are irrelevant to the past.

@calacestar 7 месяцев назад

Life happens forward, but only makes sense in reverse. Nice quote!

@anezkapospisilova6019 7 месяцев назад

Great conversation! I've learnt so much. I got a bit sadder how my dating prospects look like tho. It definitely feels like the time is running away, and we are not far off from all of us being single. Any single man out there wants to have babies? 😅

@thibaldus3 7 месяцев назад

Hello 😏

@americanexpat8792 7 месяцев назад

Evolutionary biology can explain certain aspects of human behavior, but it starts to break down after our main reproductive years. That’s especially true in the modern era. Remember, we live VASTLY longer than our biology designed us for. Our biology would have been glad if we made it to 30. It never expected for us to hit 80+ together. For that reason, I definitely don’t think that relationships need to last for life. No other aspect of life lasts forever - not even life itself. The idea that we are going to find a mate in our late 20s/early 30s, when we don’t even know ourselves very well, let alone our partner and live with them through all the ups and downs of life, as we ourselves go through many changes, seems more like a fairy tale than reality. In today's world, we should consider each of our relationships as a chapter of our personal book of life where different partners make sense at different points in time. I see nothing wrong with that concept.

@TheOlzee 6 месяцев назад

So what about when people are in their 50s and 50s rather than 20s and 30s? Do they know themselves then? Is it only now they think “oh damn, I do t want to die alone I better learn to live with someone”.

@americanexpat8792 6 месяцев назад

@@TheOlzee Yes, they do know themselves by then. I'd say that by your mid - late 30s that largely occurs. It's like everything in life. You have to try a number of things to see what works for you and what doesn't.

@paulcolin9071 7 месяцев назад

Very interesting conversation

@dilwich 8 месяцев назад

The emptiness of many partners and never committing.

@marriagecausesdivorce7540 7 месяцев назад

The emptiness of committing to one partner, and then losing your money, house and kids in divorce.

@nowaiting2072 7 месяцев назад

I didn't understand the criticism that the Church had a misogynistic view of female sexuality. The words in the Gospel accounts are directed toward men- do not divorce your wife for any reason other than adultery, do not look at a woman who is not your wife with lust. That's not demonizing female sexuality.

@lomigreen 5 месяцев назад

Fascinating history! Thank you 😊

@marywimmer5018 6 месяцев назад

We’ve been together since before smart phones… not a lifetime, but I am proud of this fact. Longevity in anything pursued is a virtue.

@Zarih67 8 месяцев назад

This was really interesting. Especially as a Scandinavian.

@alf3071 7 месяцев назад

with the girls I meet now, the relationships don't even last weeks

@rossshiell2670 7 месяцев назад

I like Mads - would be happy to see him back on.

@wifidolla 7 месяцев назад

Mate I bought Neutonic and it just arrived today, honestly never felt focus like it, im not sure if it was placebo or not but god i was so clear and focused, ive never felt anything like it, buying another 2 cases right now.

@Astillion 7 месяцев назад

This was an excellent conversation. Mads goes deeper into this topic than previous guests. I very much appreciate the long historic perspective, as well as the speculation about the future. And I agree that technology will likely revolutionize mating significantly. I've also thought about potential solutions to get people to bond and have children. And I have some suggestions that might work. Modern dating apps aren't made primarily to match people, but to make money. So if we had a dating app that wasn't made to make profit, but instead aimed to make real matches, then that would change the whole online dating world. Maybe it could even work with a for-profit model. But the app would only get paid once a couple was made, and then maybe again when there's a child as a result of that match. And if the money came from the government, then maybe that would be even more cost effective than the current very expensive welfare systems of the Nordic countries? I agree that the social democratic model no longer works for getting a high birthrate. But a socialistic model might, where the amount of money given to raise a child is so high that it covers all the costs. Raising a child would then basically become a fulltime job. I'm sure a lot of people would be a full time parent, if they could get paid for it as much as if they were working. But overall, people need to feel that having children is worth it. And they want some kind of reassurance that the world in which their children grow up will be better than the one we have. Currently, that's just not the case for a lot of people. There's climate change. Housing prizes and general costs of living. And despite the generous benefits granted to parents in Scandinavia, not having kids and working is still a much better deal financially.

@ceyayo1000 7 месяцев назад

Unfortunately I do not think it will help with a system that covers all the costs. I live in Scandinavia and my experience is that a good wellfare system does not make people more satisfied since humans have a tendency to get used to what they have very fast and expect even more. I find that there is very little gratitude for how generous our wellfare system is compared to the rest of the world. For example, you have right to more than a years leave with 80% of your wage with each child + access to subsidized daycare when you work + right to stay home when the child is sick with 80% of your wage + monthly child support until the child is 18 years old. Still a lot of parents are endlessly complaining about how hard it is to be a parent. And a lot of them actually prefer to go to work (even women) than stay at home with the kids. They find it exhausting to be with the kids for a whole day and prefer to be at work so they can leave the kids at the daycare center. And I quite often hear from friends and siblings with kids is that they fear the summer, since you cannot have the kids at daycare when you have vacation yourself. Therefore many parents feel relieved when they start working again. This has changed a lot over just one generation, since I never heard these types of complaints from my parents, when I and my siblings grew up. And then the wellfare system was not as generous as it is today. And I have more memories of this since I am the oldest of us siblings. Unfortunately a lot of today's young parents have no prior experience of dealing with children. Most had very few siblings or were the youngest. So they grew up with very high expectations to have quality time for themselves and expect this to continue even if they have a child or two.Therefore they get a shock when they have their first child and discover that their own needs are not the first priority any longer. So even if we have a good welfare system in Scandinavia parents here are still dissatisfied. They want more and have both daycare + a maid at home + an interesting and rewarding job + quality time for themselves + a loving relationship and so on.

@Astillion 7 месяцев назад

@@ceyayo1000 I think you are probably right. I think that once the birthrate drops below a certain threshold, it becomes very hard to raise it again. I also live in Scandinavia - Sweden. And it amazes me that people complain so much about our very generous system. And also how most people still want to have kids, but very few seem to want to dedicate the time it takes to actually raise them. And I'm worried that we're messing up the minds of our young by putting them in front of screens more and more. But I get why parents allow it. Because it gives them a break. Is there any solution? I haven't seen anything that I think could work. And the only developed country with a high fertility rate is Israel. And their very specific circumstances can't be replicated. I think short term there is immigration. Medium turn there is automation. Both these will handle the lack of labor due to less people in the workforce. But at some point in the future, birthrates have to start going up again. But how? One solution, which is very controversial, would be to make new people in factories. When we have the artificial womb, all we need is donated sperm and eggs, and then we could grow new babies in factories. But that might of course open the gates to a whole bunch of problems. But I can imagine it happening.

@k.k8291 7 месяцев назад

Great show

@hyperTorless 4 месяца назад

This was really enlightening -- it really puts the whole modern discourse on mating in context. A lot of people should better start learning about this instead of spewing BS.

@TheOlzee 2 месяца назад

Most people are so far gone they can’t except this type of talk. It’s far too harsh of a reality check.

@caitlinworth6329 8 месяцев назад

Not sure where to request this, but if you could ever sit down with Esther Perel, that would be an outstanding talk.

@marriagecausesdivorce7540 7 месяцев назад

+1 that would be a pretty epic discussion.

@eugrules 7 месяцев назад

I agree about where we are headed. What is sad to me, Love and family don't seem to be involved.

@Curitibaas 7 месяцев назад

Awesome!😍

@DamienNelson1969 7 месяцев назад

Great 6 mil. year recap on relationships.

@blackandwhitetube 7 месяцев назад

Only a few minutes in and I can already see how contraception and the welfare state completely decoupled the idea of being a parent for my absent father, who went on to have many more children without supporting/ sustaining any of us. He knew he could put the responsibility of conceiving on the mothers, suggest abortion, and wash his hands of it knowing that the state would prop up the single mother left. Simply not enough societal pressure to make him do the right thing. Bring back shame

@hugor1338 7 месяцев назад

You can only play the game by the rules you are given. The women who enabled this (like your mother) knew the rules too, and decided their kids wouldn’t need fathers. Were they wrong? You didn’t die.

@friendsinthefold 6 месяцев назад

@@hugor1338Blaning the man, the woman, or both doesn't change the fact that children suffer when parents abdicate. Yes. She needed a father and she rightly resents his abandonment.

@user-kf8wb2cq4f 8 месяцев назад

Can two people Truly grow Together--instead of Apart--through the years and decades? Depends on the individuals involved.

@winstonsol8713 8 месяцев назад

Talk about the most generic thing you could possibly say. Can a person drive without causing a wreck? Depends on the individual. Can a person make good use of his time in college? Depends on the individual. Thanks for your insight.

@Xplora213 7 месяцев назад

Yea they can. Easily. If they are committed to doing so. Far too many are losers and value their own autonomy more than their relationship. Trust me… We are a sexual species with very severe child rearing needs. We can’t walk away and let the baby die in the snow. Our entire species needs to stay and support the partner and we have strong emotional bonds to make that happen. And keep it happening…. Your spouse is more than your friend, and ignoring that is peril.

@apriljohnson1067 7 месяцев назад

@@Xplora213try telling that to my many unhappy 60 year marriage patients who hardly talk to their spouses. We live so long now. This is a relatively new phenomenon to stay with someone so long.

@Stickman-xx2df 8 месяцев назад

Literally the earliest I’ve ever been lol😂

@dbiedler 7 месяцев назад

Thank you.

@agricolaregs 7 месяцев назад

I had been feeling unhappy with the current state of things. I rewatched an old 70s movie about the Holocaust. One of the messages is that God didn’t abandon those people. He was present even in that hellhole. I thought to myself how lucky I was. And if a Holocaust survivor could be so positive about the future and the present, then I could, too.

@keshanchetty4259 7 месяцев назад

What an amazing topic! The content on this channel is really world class (almost as good as Sam lol). That being said - this is the first time I've seen Chris so (over)eager to jump in with such boyish impulsiveness. Chris seems a little more hyped up than usual...Hopefully not through any chemical preparation for this sit down.

@rcarmack 7 месяцев назад

53:33 the flip-flop being described here sounds a lot to me like the quote you (Chris) often quote, that says “Hard men create soft times soft times create soft men, soft men create hard times hard times, create hard men”, meaning that everything is in a state of give-and-take, ebb and flow

@HD46409 7 месяцев назад

Relationships are now disposable. Given that fact, the "minimax" strategy is the best approach.

@Xplora213 7 месяцев назад

Relationship is worthless, true, but children are not and we are a sexual species. We are dooming poor women to become alpha widows. I have no doubt that rich actresses will be able to handle this easily. Kim K will be fine too…. But the millions of regular women will need a much stronger safety net than feminism can provide.

@mnmz8393 7 месяцев назад

@@Xplora213 its their choice all the same.

@TheOlzee 7 месяцев назад

Minimax?

@HD46409 7 месяцев назад

@@TheOlzee Google "minimax strategy game theory"

@VisDaddy11 7 месяцев назад

It would be interesting to see how economic equality in the different time periods or geographical areas discussed correlate with the mating equality of that era/location too. Do societies with a balanced Gini coefficient also do well in sexual balance?

@lettajones5625 7 месяцев назад

Wow! Great episode! I never bothered to read "Sex Before Dawn" because it was all bunk. Thank you for delivering the real deal. ♡♡ Will be discussing this episode with friends. :)

@victoryigbokwe7691 7 месяцев назад

How was it all bunk?

@Zen56103 7 месяцев назад

@@victoryigbokwe7691Lookup the book "sex at dusk". I'm sure there are articles summarizing the book. It discredits a bunch of Chris Ryan's claims. Some of his descriptions of primitive tribes was very much untrue. Chris Ryan is pushing a narrative because he's poly.

@ezyryder11 7 месяцев назад

@@victoryigbokwe7691Sex At Dusk may explain that. But I haven’t read either 😂

@gadohimself 7 месяцев назад

@@victoryigbokwe7691there was no science, only opinion

@jamaalpemberton8042 7 месяцев назад

How do you know it was bunk if you never read it?

@akumacode 7 месяцев назад

As long as the Boomer generation empathizes with what their children and children's children have gone through, are going through, and will go through in the future decades i don't mind that they lived such a great life. I'm happy for them. They got to experience the best 50 years mankind had to offer, in their prime, and they get to leave this life just in time to not have to experience it all fall apart. Good for them