Bisexual Double Discrimination 

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It's weird to hear "pick a side", especially from someone who is gay or lesbian since they fight against people saying that they choose to be gay

Bisexual often is also defined as: being attracted to multiple genders. Not being attracted to two genders. The difference between that and pansexual is that pansexual is loving people regardless of gender. The bi in bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean two.

i just wanted to say that while, yes, the bi in bisexuality means "two," many people interpret that as "two or more." i, and many other bisexuals, are attracted to all genders but aren't pansexual because gender _does_ factor into our attraction. you could technically classify that as omnisexual, but i personally just feel most comfortable identifying as bisexual. thank you for this video ! :)

as a bisexual woman, i have been turned down many many times by lesbians for liking men edit: im not a bisexual woman anymore but when i made this comment i was, im non binary biromantic

while in a literal sense, yes bi means two, bisexuality is an umbrella term that has meant attraction to more than one gender for a long, long time.

Wow these numbers are just saddening. My full support to the bi gang! cuz they are valid and should be appreciated the way they are

Bisexuality is NOT a stepping stone! It's annoying that some people think this. I'm not gay or straight, I like men AND women. It's sad that there's discrimination against bi people even in the LGBTQ+ community. You would think there would be more compassion and understanding within the community since we face similar struggles. Hoping more gay/lesbian people see this video and come around and will be more supportive. Thank you to anyone in the comments who is gay/lesbian and are supportive of your bi peers. You're awesome and we love you! 💜

Whenever I came out as bi people always say I'm greedy or in a phase, from the lgbt community they try to put another label on me that isn't bi because they don't like or believe bisexuals, so at this point I just stay quiet about it.

Okay... This can't be a coincidence! You telling me that me (identifying as bisexual) is born in bisexual awareness month?! Well... Guess the stars have spoken!

As a bisexual, this video was fucking amazing 🥲 I’m bi and I feel weird even dating anyone cus I’m scared it’ll be like “Oh you’re dating a girl your stright” if you’re dating a dude “eww your gay” and my bi-ness will be dismissed. This video made me feel a lot better in that I know I’m not the only bisexual feeling this way 🥲🥲🥲 (I’m an amab he/they btw)

Interestingly, in the furry community, bisexuals are very accepted. Probably because there are a lot of bisexuals in the furry community. But there are a lot of homosexuals, and some straight people too.

Thank you for making this. We, bisexuals, have gone through a lot to get where we are. It’s time we finally get excepted for who we are

There's also the fact that even if someone *is* using bisexuality as a test the waters- what gives you the right to call them out on it? They're coming out in the steps that make them feel safest, calling them out on it 1. Invalidates them if they are actually bisexual 2. Kinda forces someone to quicken up their process in a way they weren't ready for

I’ve been a bit more accepted but my family still thinks I’m confused

Well this is gonna be interesting as a bisexual person- I have honestly been told alot of things in this video, on the internet I was told I am greedy and I just havent decided what I like. Tbh it's so annoying...this is why I am scared to come out to anyone, I told my boyfriend who is now my ex that I'm bisexual and he told his friend then his friend said some pretty mean things. My ex may have stuck up for me but it still made me feel bad.

I identify as bisexual and I define it as an attraction to people of my own gender and other genders, making those the two groups I am attracted to. It might not technically be “right” but it’s the word I’m most comfortable in.

As a bi person myself I cannot express how much I appreciate this video 💗💜💙

It's been mentioned in other comments, but yeah the "two genders" thing is only true for some. It's best to just go with "two or more", because it's more accurate. Bisexuals have been advocating for non-binary rights since at least the 1970's and most are open to a non-binary relationship. Honestly, pansexual and bisexual effectively mean the same thing, it's just that some people prefer certain connotations. The bisexual community is larger and has more history, so it has a greater chance of creating change; while some people think pansexual is more inclusive due to the common misconception of what "bisexual" means. Some also claim that pansexual means "gender-blind", as in, they don't care about gender while bisexuals are interested in different genders differently -- but I've also seen pansexuals say that they absolutely do see gender, or that it's disrespectful toward trans people to not see the gender that they're working so hard to achieve. Also, the "hearts not parts" phrase was used by both...by bisexuals to assert that they're not sex-obsessed, and by pansexuals to assert that gender in unimportant to them. It's a mess, in other words. I chose bisexual because it is more universally understood, but I'd be fine if everyone agreed to use pansexual instead. If you ask me, all this in-fighting is really unimportant compared to real issues, such as the discrimination both groups face for the same reasons in relationships and elsewhere. But when terms are this misunderstood, I guess conflicts like this are going to happen once in a while.

I get called indecisive many times and some do in fact call me greedy and honestly it hurts quite a bit and I just feel helpless

As a bisexual, I constantly feel like I am 'lying' to people, because I have only ever dated a men(1), and feel the need to 'prove' my bisexuality to others.. My mother even told me that she once felt like that, and that it was "just a phase"

I came out to my dad and mom a few weeks ago! Fortunately they accepted me. Unfortunately, my mom is slightly homophobic :(

for this reason I am terrified as coming out as bisexual, I don't want people thinking I'm too afraid to come out as gay or to use it as a stepping stone, I want people to realize I genuinely like girls and guys.

As a bisexual, it makes me extremely stressed, because my Lesbian friend is telling me that I ‘have to pick a side’

The definition of bisexual as being attracted to two genders is incongruent with the experiences of many people who identify as bisexual

I feel like ‘two only’ is trying to put a clear line between bi and pan. But it’s also really annoying bc there isn’t a nice clean divider between those two sexualities and it’s really pigeon hole-y to say ‘two only’. Also don’t give me ‘bi means two’ because if a girl tells me she’s a lesbian I know she isn’t telling me she’s an island near Greece. I love this channel but that just rubbed me the wrong way. Love why y’all do though.

I’ve seen other people address this in the comments but the literal definition of bisexuality as it pertains to the prefix isn’t how many in the community interpret it I appreciate you doing what you can to help educate people on bisexuality and the biphobia that exists within the community, but bisexuality doesn’t necessarily mean “attracted to two genders;” as it’s expanded to an umbrella term as well as encompassing the capacity to be attracted to two or more genders literal definitions can only go so far-how people use the label irl I think has more weight nonetheless, I am appreciative of the education you’re providing; there are some things here I didn’t know about and I myself identity as bisexual

This is why I don't bring up my sexuality to my family very often. Not even a few days after coming out to my family, my dad basically tried to invalidate me being bi by asking some very uncomfortably personal questions. He has since tried invalidating me by repeating the same sentiment (that being if I'm a virgin "how do you know you're bi") I had to repeatedly tell him how he was hurting me to get him to finally stop. he accepts me yet says that type of nonsense so doesn't fully accept. and other family members have essentially said "you'll know once you're in a relationship" no I won't I know who I am now. Hell my cousin refuses to even come out as pan to our family because he's seen how they've treated me, despite being so "accepting"

As much as I liked the rest of the information, it was really frustrating to watch this video basically promoting bi-visability while discrediting the spectrum of bi-experience. Bi people who are attracted to all genders are still bi. I understand people will classify me as pansexual, but I feel how *I* identify *myself* should carry more weight. According to most definitions of bi, it specifies more than one.

it actually really hurt me to hear “if you love more than two genders then youre trisexual or pansexual”. i personally consider all of these sexualities to be under the bisexuality umbrella. i love all gender but i consider myself as bisexual because i love two or more genders. i was hurt by the fact that this invalidated my identity

1:21 Bisexuals love all genders, bisexuality always included all genders. Bisexuals were the people to challenge the idea of 2 genders. Bisexuality was defined as attraction regardless of gender in the 1900s, and always was defined that way. There are TONS of bisexuals who love all genders or more than 2. "Bisexual is a whole fluid and complex sexuality, do not assume bisexuality is duogamous in nature, that we have 'two sides' or need to be with 2 genders to be satisfied" -'Anything That Moves' 1990 Bisexual Manifesto

Bisexual is an attraction to two OR MORE genders. You should correct your video to reflect this definition.

Please do more research on your bisexual research. I am biromantic and the only two from the bi prefix isn't necessarily true

As a bisexual genderfluid person, this video is really made my day, I feel valid and loved. Thank you for a great video. And you are absolutely right, even I haven’t fully out myself (only to some people), I’ve been told to pick a side 😫 although indirectly by people who haven’t knew my sexuality yet just because we talked about bisexuality. It’s frustrating.

this is maybe less significant, but it really bothers me when people refer to me, a bi guy, as half-gay or half-straight. i'm not either of those things, and i don't feel like a mixture of them either. my sexuality isn't a cocktail of other sexualities, i'm my own person and i'm bisexual. is that not enough 😕

Just wanted to point out that in addition to pansexual and trisexual, there is: Omnisexual Polysexual And more!

The way bisexuality was treated where I grew up made me take until I was 26 to realize I was bi. Everyone told me it’s normal to find girls more pretty than men because they are just more aestheticly pleasing to look at. Everyone told me you are either gay or straight and bisexuality is just a phase until you decide and since I got together with men I decided I was straight and ignored the crushes for girls since they are just pretty and nothing else. It wasn’t until I came out to myself, my husband and friends until I could be true to my sexual feelings. Before that I didn’t even allow myself to have sexual thoughts about women and suppressed all of them. I feel a lot more free by now even though I’m only out to my parents, my husband and friends. Edit: I’m turning 28 in a few months and feel like I still have a long way to go into accepting myself and deciding wether to be open about my bisexuality or not but I feel like I’m doing the right thing.

noooo man the most accepted concept for bisexuality is liking 2 OR MORE genders, I can't believe so many people still define it through that binarist concept smh

Bisexuality is currently defined as the attraction to two or more genders. It was originally coined as a description for intersex individuals (meaning of two sexes) eventually it changed to describe multi sexual attraction. Later terms such as pan, omni, bi+, and poly were added to describe more specific forms of multisexual attraction. However many people still use the term bisexual as a blanket term for multisexual attraction.

My cynical strategy is to only date other bisexual/pansexual/non-monosexual people.

If bisexual is a stepping stone im moving backwards (i came out as gay then realized i was bi)

As a Bi person, I’ve faced discrimination of using a bisexual character dating a non-binary character, someone decided to call them pan instead, but.. it just doesn’t feel right.

can you not do the "bi means two" meme? like please, it just causes people to stereotype bisexual people as enbiphobic and transphobic and just isnt how anyone in the community uses it Edit: and for anyone who sees this and thinks of saying "well the prefix means 2", then the DPRK (Nork Korea) is democratic, language evolves and just because a root of a word exists in the word, doesnt mean the word is actively used in that way

Great video! The only criticism I have is that the most commonly used definition of bisexuality is not really mentioned in the video, that definition being "attraction to your own gender and other genders"(bi, in this case, referring to your own gender as one group, and other genders as the second group) which is a shame because it makes the video less reflective of the experiences most bisexual people. many people who fall under this and identify as bi could be also referred to as trisexual, pansexual, etc... as stated in the video(such as myself, I primarily identify as bi but the pan label also applies to me pretty much), in this case, people in these categories should be referred to by the label they prefer, i.e, if a person who could be classified as pan or bi and primarily identifies as bi, they should be referred to as bi, and if that person primarily identifies as pan, they should be referred to as pan. when it comes to bi people who can be labeled as bi by the definition used in the video, but not by the definition I am positing in this post ( women who are attracted to men and enby people, men who are attracted to women and enby people, enby people who are attracted to men and women, etc...), they should be referred to as bi and seen as bi if they so desire, and they do not then they shouldn't be seen as bi. Nonmonosexual labels are very fluid, so no one definition encompasses all people who use that label or fall under it. The important thing is to be aware of this fluidity and therefore expose people who are learning about bisexuality to more than one definition, i.e, the definition I posited in this post should have been included alongside the definition used in the video, and definitely not instead of it.

I'm bi and I believe I've truly been bi since birth and yet to this very day im still called "gay" or "gay in denial" not only by my family but also by my own roommates whom I've lived with for 3 years and every time they call me this I correct them but they always say the same thing and im not gonna lie it's irritating as hell and its very upsetting...

I feel like no one ever talks about the discrimination against polyamorous people

Imagine making a video about discrimination against bi folks and gatekeeping those very same folks.

Ironic that a video about bisexual discrimination, discriminates against bisexuals. Bisexual does NOT mean attraction to only two genders, it is attraction to people of your own gender and to people with gender(s) different than your own.

Pan person here sending love n support to all the bi's 🤗💗🌻

Me, a bisexual : **constantly getting discriminated by the gay and homophobic community** God : double homicide

Your deffinition of bi is jacked because it is two or more, and I think you would struggle to find a bi person that dosent

It's videos like this one and others, that makes me leary about joining the local LGBTQIA+ community. My twelve (12) year-old is bisexual and she is Autistic as well. She doesn't need any more stress and bullying, her Anxiety is already too much for her.

im bi and the only people that know are people online and a few of my friends

I cannot stand when biphobes say that we’re “privileged”. Words cannot described how pissed off it makes me feel..

I just hate it that me and other bisexuals get hated from people not in the community and from people in the people in the community. It hurts my heart that people in the community want people to think them as equals but then they start being rude to us because we like more than one gender. Also I know not everyone is like that.

I once came out to my friend as bi and they were like "Thats bad" and im like "what- what do you mean?" and they were like "Loads of straight people pretend to be bi" and i just stood there dumbfounded-

Me being in the closet as ace demi and bi... oh no...

This was really an eye-opener for me. I'm bisexual in that I'm attracted to girls(females) and boys(males). (though I admit I have never met a non-binary person so I wouldn't know.) I never knew that bisexuality could mean anything other than that and I'm really glad to have been educated in that that is not always the case. I really want to say how good you are at speaking and educating people about the LGBTQIA+ Community. Thank you so much for what you do. I found this video very interesting and informative. Thanks again!

Heyo Matt, I bearly know anyone who is Bisexual anymore because most of them now came out as pansexual. Also can you Please give me the stats for the Pansexuals and Asexuals as well on that graph because I feel like your numbers are a bit wonked without pans and aces

Some people acted as if bisexual meant “polygamy” automatically. It’s weird how some people embrace pansexuality, polysexuality, and omnisexual, but not bisexuality.

i am currently using the term gay, to come out as bi... oh how the turntables

The only time I, as a bisexual man, heard the "its just a phase"-phrase was from a gay guy i slept with, because i was bottoming since he was top only and im vers...

It’s weird that you can easily out yourself to anyone on the internet: I’m a closeted omniromanric bisexual :> 💖💜💙 but it’s really hard to do that for people like your family and/or friends

I first came out as bisexual to my gay best friend because I thought he'd understand. He didn't take it well at all, and we almost ended our friendship. Even to this day, he sometimes calls me a lesbian and I have to correct him every time :p Double discrimination is real, unfortunately.

Just wanna point out (as a bi person) that nonbinary people are/can be included in all sexualities! Lesbians can be nb and/or attracted to nb people, gay people can be nb and/or attracted to nb people, and the colors of the bi flag literally represent love for the same sex (pink), love for the opposite sex (blue) and love for the spectrum of genders inbetween (purple). I just think it's important since a lot of people get this confused!

I define myself (Bisexual) as being sexually, romantically, and/or emotionally attracted to more than one gender but that's just me.

"The potential to be attracted-romantically and/or sexually-to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." -Robyn Ochs

Brilliant video and very validating coming from someone in the gay community 😄 might be worth pointing out that some bi identifying people use bi as an umbrella term for liking more than 1 gender rather than specifically 2. I identify as bi but I'm not certain how many genders I'm actually attracted to. Could be all, could be a few. I'm not sure.

When ‘Sept’ember was coined it was the seventh month on the calendar. It’s not anymore but we didn’t go reworking the name. When bisexual was coined folks didn’t understand gender from sex of which they only knew two. When I say I’m bi I mean I could potentially fall for anyone. That’s a practical definition. the technical definition would be something along the lines of a person attracted to their own gender as well as others. Some bisexuals like myself have sexual fluidity. so to set preferences as a fixed point, or deny that a Bi could be into all genders by definition is counterproductive. Pan, poly, and Omni are modern labels used by some folks because they feel those definitions are more precise for them then Bi. Valid.

As a bi woman in a relationship with a cis man, I appreciate you making this video. However, and I cannot stress this enough, bisexual does not strictly mean one is attracted to two genders; it means one is attracted to two /or more/ genders. It could mean two genders, three genders, ten genders, or all genders. It simply means attraction to more than one. As I am not pansexual or omnisexual, I can't say with 100% confidence, but, after looking at several different resources and people, pansexual means being attracted to people of all genders and /regardless/ of their gender: often referred to as being "gender blind". Whereas omnisexual means being attracted to people of all genders, but gender might play a factor. Put simply: Bisexual- attraction to more than one gender (could even be all) Pansexual- attraction to all genders and gender does not typically play a factor Omnisexual- attraction to all genders and gender might play a factor So, someone could fall under bisexual and pansexual or bisexual and omnisexual, but it's up to them how they want to identify. I personally am attracted to all genders, however I wouldn't call myself pansexual because the attraction I feel for each gender differs and gender does play a role. I fall under bisexual and omnisexual, but I choose to label myself as bisexual because that just feels more right for me. It's hard to start trying to define labels though because they could mean different things to different people, but I understand trying to have a base definition, otherwise people won't know what you're talking about. I just really want to stress something that I think most bisexuals will agree: Bisexuality does not strictly mean attraction to two genders; it simply means attraction to more than one gender. I really wish you would pin a comment or edit your description with a little note that says such because it's kind of invalidating to bisexuals, and it leads to people in certain communities calling the bi community non-inclusive and/or transphobic. I know you explained in your video bi people can be attracted to non binary people, but the idea that bisexuality means strictly two genders still causes people to think bisexuals are attracted to only men and women.

Hi, just a pan person here sending much love to the bisexuals in the comments! ❤️🏳️‍🌈

As someone who is Bi, I hate when I’m told to choose a side. Also I’m currently dating a man and his dad is thinking I’ll be cheating on him with a woman. When I told my mom I’m Bi she thought it’s a phase and I’ll be still straight since I’m dating a guy. Luckily my mom got the idea after I kept reminding her I’m still Bi. I prefer women and nonbinary more and I’m dating a man and I’ll be bi until I die.

wAIT I've been trying to figure out if I'm Bisexual for a while and this came out LITERALLY on my birthday- *ITS A SIGN FROM THE GODS*

I'm biromantic and that just makes coming out twice as harder to do towards family or lgbtq+ friends. Also makes dating just as hard... no one wants a bi and ace partner. :P

Yeeeeeeahhhh. Not really the definition of Bi I hear any Bi people use.

That isn't the definition of bi. Bi means 2+. Source: am bi and watch loads of bi peoples videos.

This channel makes me feel comfortable about myself. I don't know if I can trust my family, as my Parents/Uncle said something along the lines of " There are only two gender Identities " and " Even if you get surgery, you are still the gender you are born with ". I am not open to many people, but I do identify as Bisexual and Demisexual. But seeing how supportive this whole channel and all the people in the comments are makes me feel a little bit better.

LGBT+ community: * accepts and loves everyone* Also LGBT+: *yOu HaVe To PiCk a sIdE*

thank you so, so much for this video 💜 - a closeted grey-ace biromantic girl p.s. also, most bi people define bisexuality as attraction to two or more genders, or attraction to their own gender and others, rather than just two genders.

You can actually be the orientation you are (gay, straight, bi) even if you've never actually been that way your entire life. For him he his actual orientation has been gay his entire life but for other gay ppl they may not have actually been that way their entire life. Sexuality is fluid and your label is not set in stone. Your attractions and actual orientation may change over the course of your lifetime. You may not even use a label if you're not comfortable using one or none fit.

I dont like the take on only loving 2 genders for bi people. I feel like it is to much focused on the bi as meaning 2. 2 and more feels more feels more fitting because the difference between pan and bi is for me that bi people love 2 or more genders but pan people love regardless of gender. I will stay at the LGBTQIA+ definition because I dont like the MOGAI concept and it prevents discrimination more than the MOGAI versions since it doesnt take the self identification to serious in the LGBT+ version while the MOGAI just wants to find the right perfect identification.

as some one that is bi and likes a lot of genders and ppl one big problem i have had is the LGBT+ community is saying no that makes you pan which i did try to use as a label at one point but never felt rite and the jokes abut being sexley attracted to pans gut old fast.

so... the person trying to teach about bisexual discrimination cant even get the right definition of bisexual... great. bisexual means being able to love two or more genders, pan means being able to love someone with gender being a non factor, and i aint never heard of "trisexual". yes, pan and bi overlap, so pan people could t e c h n i c a l l y identify as bi and some bi people who don't have preferences could identify as pan, but this is just what's bound to happen when we try to label sexuality, and whichever term they use they're valid

This makes so much sense to me. I am a transgender guy who like men and women. People always found that to be extremely weird.

I dont care if you say that bisexuality is only two, its what I identify with and I like men women and nonbianary/genderfluid

Thank you for making this video! I have definitely experienced this discrimination from both sides and it caused me to stay in the closet for so long. I’m glad some people understand! 😭

Wait I like women and non binary people but I still feel like the label lesbian fits better. Is that ok? Or is bisexual a better label

Also something that people like to say is "Bisexuals are more likely to cheat" No, cheaters cheat. It has nothing to do with who you're attracted to, it has to do with your integrity

As a bisexual myself, my LGBTQ+ and straight friends accepted me as soon as I came out to them, but my parents were less accepting and they think my bisexuality is just a phase. Now i'm afraid to ask them for pride merchandise so I can show off my pride whenever I want

Only got about 2 minutes in and I already dont like this. (I'm bisexual) you can love all genders and be bisexual, I like all genders but my preference is Male, and I'm still bi. I hate ppl think its only two. It's not only two

I’m bisexual and gender fluid you help me so much

Once someone told me I’m biophobic because I’m pan. And that it’s removing bi people from the earth Bc I decided to be pan not bi.

thanks, we've been needing this! keep up the awesome work pal!!

video on bisexual Discrimination and then say basically i cant identify bisexual because am attracted to multiple genders. you defining how im aloud to identify is discrimination

Regretfully, don't have time to go thru all 273 comments to date, and I know that I'm totally on the late freight but: Has anyone inquired as to whether or not Mark Haslam ever Apologized to the Bisexual Community for conscripting their spectrum identification to take his step for coming out as gay?? I heard him say at 9:10 that he used this tactic when coming out to his family and at 10:50 he says that he felt it was okay to do that. I think he owes the Bi Community an "I'm sorry" now that he realizes how discriminatory it is and he was.

Oh I’m so happy you’ve discussed this. I’m sick of being told to pick a side as if sexuality is suddenly a choice when it’s inconvenient It’s either that or they role their eyes and shake their head with a sort of “ahh sweet child” grin as if I’m just a phase

Thank you so much for this video. I’ve always had straight friends growing up who immediately assumed I was lesbian when I came out as bisexual. And when I dated someone as the opposite gender for a while, they accused me of lying about my attraction to the same gender, as if I had to prove it. It wasn’t til college where I found a friend group that was made up of mostly queer people. However, I still faced a ton of biphobia for not being a “real” queer person, or having dated people of the opposite gender more than the same gender. Again, as if I had to prove my bisexuality by making sure I dated the same amount of women as I did men. This past pride month really helped me feel accepted, though, especially with all the education being spread about bisexuality. This video was a part of that. Thank you so much

The "bi" prefix in bisexual, doesn't refer to 2 genders, it refers to 2 sexualities. Being attracted both to people of your own gender (gay) and other genders (straight).

Thanks professor pride I’m glad someone is talking about it I had to go through that discrimination a lot along with my friends back at Crosby we were judged, bullied, and among other things were good now but that doesn’t make the treatment we went through ok and future generations as well I hope the more we communicate the better we grow to understand.

The thing is Matt that while it worked out well for you it also gave a lot of people another piece of proof to invalidate bisexuality