The best part of being child free is freedom. The freedom of being able to enjoy the simple things. The freedom to be carefree. The freedom to worry less about a potential child’s safety. The freedom from being up all night because of a screaming child. The freedom to go home to a clean quiet home. The freedom from dealing with deadbeat dads who won’t help take care of their kids. The freedom from the baby mama drama. The freedom from chasing child support checks. The freedom from being a struggling single mom who works hard but is still in debt. The freedom to have more disposable income to use as I please while saving money. The freedom from a lot of the stress from the child being sick, acting out in school, etc. I wouldn’t trade this life for ANYTHING and idc what ANYONE says.
You just said it! Well done, I'm glad somebody understands! I've been neglected since childhood after the death of my parents, taken care of my uncles family, both uncle and his wife were abusive to me and their own kids, now all of us ran away and decide to live in our own lives, and deciding NOT to have kids. Coming from a Pakistani background while living in the UK, it's not easy to avoid being childfree and the amount of pressure we get from relatives and communities that we MUST have kids, and what benefits will it do to us and to them? We would rather live in our own lives rather than giving up our live for having our own children.
@@yabbadabbadoo1863 I'm so so sorry to hear what you have gone through! I'm so damn happy that you got away from that abusive situation! Live your life to the fullest
yep! and most CF people i know have no issue with spending most of their time alone...alone doesn't always mean "lonely"...contrary to what society likes to boast. sooooo many people cannot stand the idea of being alone at any time and i think thats pretty darn sad!
The reason I decided to be childfree was because of the trauma I suffered as a child I was sexually emotionally and verbally abused I was 11 years old when I made this choice I'm 33 years old and I don't regret my decision this is something my father should had done
Thanks for this. I'm 36, childfree and not planning to have children. Other people's reactions to my childfree status are tiresome. Why does anyone think they have the right to judge another person's life choices? Why does anyone even assume it IS a choice? For all they know, I could be infertile! It's VERY intrusive to be asked. I genuinely love children but I have a problem with the world I'd be raising a child in. Insane materialism, divisive politics, competitive parenting, the narcissism epidemic, climate change, kids addicted to tech. Of course there are wonderful moments but for me, the external factors are just too much to cope with.
Thank YOU for sharing your thoughts on this! I totally agree with you about the society we live in today, it is not a optimal place for a kid to grow up in.. I agree 110% on that!
I don't think climate change we live in or the world now is the only reasons you don't want kids. Other why's you could of had kids when you was younger
Good for you! I’m not saying that because I’m a racist who wants black people to disappear. I’m saying it because too many black women have children at a young age, with men there not married to, and it’s keeping them poor and oppressed.
Yesterday a woman int v said she forgot to get a steady relationship and therefore children. I like what she said so i am also going to use that excuse. I just forgot to have children 😂
You're very right lady, the only value in women is not the uterus. Choosing to be child free by choice helps you to do and go wherever you want anytime.Yes,we stopped listening to those who feel that all a woman can do in life is given birth.We don't care about their accusations.I really love this video.
Many people in the world today share your “service to self” values. It’s a growing sentiment. I don’t think you’ll have to defend your choices for much longer. To be a good parent does require a “service to others” mindset. Not everyone is equipped for this.
Other than getting sober, no kids was my best life decision. I want those people who want to have kids to have them! That’s just not me. I am a cat mom.
I fostered a premature kitten to hand feed for 2 weeks. I was beyond exhausted. Middle of nite feeding nearly floored me. I remember saying how the hell do parents do this? When kitten was adopted l slept for 3 days. The relief. No l don't want children. No
I can relate! I adopted my cat when she was 4 months old, and she was a very curious and wild kitten...She made me cry multiple times thinking "What have I done?" by adopting a cat so young lol The experience made me not want to have children very much just based on how exhausting it was to keep her out of trouble.
The main reason I prefer to be child-free is the reduced stress, responsibility and financial obligation. I have a job so I can't just run off and do whatever I want when I want, but at least I have more time around my work schedule to relax and do fun things occasionally.
When you said your selfish not to have kds. Having kids could be selfish if they wouldn't make a good parent. Or bring them into a bad world like the cost of living could be selfish to have them
Thanks, I totally agree with you. I have a lot of reasons why I don't want kids, one part is the way society is today, I would not want a kid to grow up in this era, but I could absolutely adopt in later years.
@@carnivorepolice5-0 not necessarily, I want to help teenagers, I have worked and helped teenagers many many years, and I could open up my home to teenagers as I get older and have lived my life to that extent that I want :) Teenagers are more selfsufficient than babies and younger kids :)
When some people don't want kids. And they get with a partner who wants kids and it still workes out and sometimes don't have them. The thing for people to try and understand. Is not everyone who wants kids has to seriously want kids that much. Some people can let it go
Great video! Thank you! I absolutely agree with your all the reasons for a childfree life. I'm lucky that my wife also doesn't want kids so we have a happy childfree marriage. We enjoy our peace, our love, our careers, money spent just on us, our travels, etc. Childfree life is the best! ❤
Thank you for your comment! This makes me so so happy for you! It sounds like you have found a perfect match for you, and I think it is important to show that you can have a valuable life without children aswell!
Honestly, I don't get why people get so bent out of shape just because there are people who do not want kids. I am childfree and I love it. I generally encourage people to not have kids due to overpopulation and to lower greenhouse gas emissions (more people means more emissions to drive Climate Change). In the end however, it's everyone's choice and everyone should do what is right for them and consider their choices carefully.
@@a.medved Thanks. It's also extremely creepy how people like jordan peterson and ben shapiro go out of their way to shame people for their choices that have nothing to with anybody else, including them. Granted, as a man, I do not face anywhere near the scrutiny that most women face for being childfree. But I still find it very unhinged how they make other people's life decisions their business when it isn't.
@@thomaslawrence6353 yeah, I agree with you, our minds are so more intricate than just wanting to have babies and reproduce... and it is sad that people like Jordan Peterson pushes for that view. There are some topics I agree with him on, but this one is not one of them!
yep...a lifetime commitment...it's sad that many don't consider that reality! I'm nearing middle age and have no regrets whatsoever...CF was the best decision i ever could have made!
At 59 you are typically free again either way and the children lead their own lives. Not me personally as I had another baby at 50 now, but at least I had the choice to be an empty nester as my other two children are adults already. Looking after the grandchildren is optional. My parents opted out of that part, too.
Being childfree is great - I love having more money, I love having the freedom, but what I love the most is hearing people who do have children complain about how they have no money and no freedom. You have to admit when they complain, it's does give you a little bit of pleasure. Obviously follow standard protocol and pretend to be sympathetic.
Thank you for posting this, on the topic of child free women! Society is particularly harsh towards women who choose to be childfree, compared to men who do. I’m so thankful for having the freedom to choose and bodily autonomy. I also noticed more men are intentionally choosing to be child free and actually prefer a woman who doesn’t have children.
Thank you for commeting! I totally agree with you and I think it is an important topic to bring up! I have also seen the same trend in men as you have!
I think I understand how it can sometimes work now. Some people might not just want to have a child with anyone. Some people might want to have a child with the right person who won't leave them. And if the right person dosen't come along they won't have them. And it's all so possible by the time the right person comes along some people might not want kids anymore after having longer to think about it
If you’re lonely there are so many others you can connect with or just be on your own. That is fine too. Happiness comes in different forms. Childree ❤❤❤
@@a.medved Ayn Rand sure didn't, and she's been a big influence on me and many others. Even if I don't hang on her every word anymore, I still think anyone who claims to be selfless is straight up delusional.
I think it could kind of be used as a reason when they say it takes two. The reasons I think this could sometimes be used as a reason to not have them. Is because its possible for one person to look after a child or two. And it dosen't mean it will just stay as one sometimes people could have a partner helping out. So I think it could kind of be used as a reason for not having them when they say it takes two. Because its possible for one person. And it might not stay like that they could have a partner helping out
Sometimes it could be hard to know if its them what really wants kids. Or if they are programmed to want kids or think they want them. Sometimes that could be why some people realise they don't want kids later on. But its hard to know if they really want them or if they are programmed to want them. Sometimes it could be both
Sometimes it can seem like some parents don't understand. Or don't want to believe that they will not be there little ones forever. With not liking them being more grown up independent and having a life of there own.
Most people love chocolate, but a friend of mine don't. So, he just don't buy/eat chocolate. No list required: he just don't like that. For me, I don't need any of the things on your list to justify/explain/benefits that I just don't want kids... I just really don't want to have kid in my life.
@@a.medved Sure, I can provide a long list of benefit. But even if theses benefits were not there, it won't change the fact that I don't like baby/kid stuff. Like chocolate, we can argue that my friend won't ingest as much calorie (benefit), but the real point for him, is that he don't like the taste of chocolate. There is nothing in the baby/kid stuff that warm my heart. It's all negative to me. Anyway, thank you for sharing your video and providing a space for people to discuss about that. For some, it's not as black/white choice.
@@alexandrevaliquette3883 I can totally relate to what you are saying! I feel exactly the same way as you feel regarding kids! I just wish more were as confident as you in standing their ground regarding their choice! I admire that strenght! Thank you for participating in the discussions!
@@a.medved It's not about strength when it's easy. You have way less pressure when you are a men. When I was 12, I hated baby, it was so gross and repulsive. This taught never changed and now I rather die than being a father. As you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a men who has nothing to lose. So, nobody will change me on that regard. It's as stupid as trying to convert an homosexual to be straight. As stupid to try to convince somebody that hate coriander to love coriander. Sure, you can forced them, but the person will have a miserable life. Just why induce such suffering??? For me, it's not even a choice, it's how I'm built. I honestly wish very hard that I was not like that (it's always easier to be 'normal'), but this is how I am. When you are a woman, the society is pushing you way harder. You also have a reminder of your main purpose in life each month (poor you!). For people who are 100% convinced, we should only say: "I just don't want kids because I don't have any positive interest in kids". If the other person insist, just add: "I wish very hard that I was built different, but this is how I am, fundamentally. It's harder to be different, I appreciate if you can respect how I am." For people that still like kids at a certain extend, but prefer to not have one. This is way harder. You need that long list to justify (to you and other) your rational choice.
@@alexandrevaliquette3883 I love everything about what you just wrote! And I agree with you 110%! I don't like kids either, but if I say that out aloud then I'll be seen as this three headed monster without any nurturing skills/traits xD But who cares?? I know my truth, I know what I can bring to the table, just as you do :D and ofc it is much easier to be "normal" and mainstream, but I would rather be the odd one and happy :D
I'm convinced if pregnancy was automatic, the world would be filled with people looking for ways to be childfree. It's largely because of the work to get there people think children are inherently valuable and worthwhile. You have to find a man. You have to build a commited relationship. The next step is kids. Why? Cause. If kids were mandatory they wouldn't be special and more people would wish to opt out than those that now wish to opt in.
I think I understand something now. If someone wanted kids and now they don't want kids. It could be that they just changed there mind. Or it could be that they was programmed to think they want kids. And they didn't notice they don't really want kids
I heard that some people say what about if your parents had decided not to have you then you wouldn't be hear. But they don't know if there parents decided to have them or not. All so some people was the 3rd or 4th child. So if there parents just had 2 kids they wouldn't be hear. There could all so be a chance we might not be hear if our parents had sex at a different time even a few mints different
True! My mom had a miscarriage before having me. Then she decided to try _one more time_ and had me. People have said “and aren’t you glad she did??” My answer is an emphatic “NO!!! She should have taken that as a sign to STOP” 😠
My opinion- anyone who says ‘what if your parents felt the same way and didn’t have you’ has just exposed themselves as an unthinking idiot. If your parents never had you, you would not exist, therefore you wouldn’t even have to ponder such a question. Doesn’t take a genius to work that out. Don’t even respond to such idiotic statements.
Maybe it could be because they just want to think goodly. Why some people might not think like this or think about this. But some other points are just because they want to have kids. It dosen't mean they will all ways have them for some reasons. And if they don't want kids it dosen't mean they won't have them. Maybe some people might not think about it not going how some people want it to go. Could be because they just want to think goodly
everyone has the free choice of not having children , but only in a society that is so privilege that we can do this , if humans made your choice we would have all died out in the cradle of Africa ,so i wish you all good luck its better for the rest of us who want to continue the human family
Yeah, there will always be people who want kids, and that is great! That gives us the possibility to choose what is best for us! I wish you the best with your life and your familydreams! :)
Sometimes people who want kids could be more likely to think others should have them. And people who don't want kids could more likely think others shouldn't have them
I don't think people are programmed to not want kids. I think its by choice but some people might be programmed to want kids or think they want them. And sometimes it could just be by choice
I think theres 3 different ways it can work. Some people might be programmed to want kids but at the same time all so want kids themself. And some people might not be programmed to want kids. But still want kids even tho they are not programmed. And some people might be programmed to think they want kids but don't really want kids. This could be why some people don't realise they don't want kids maybe later on. I'm not saying this is all ways true. But if they said they wanted kids but still haven't had them by 33 or 34. They might have possible just been programmed to think they want kids. But not really want them that much to make it happened
He can be complex some people might have had the understanding thought abut it probably. And wanted kids but changed there mind later on. But some people who wanted kids before but not anymore. Might not have realized they didn't want kids. A bit like the saying young and dumb
Most of these benefits are just the general advantages of not doing things in life. For example, if you do not travel for vacation this also saves money, time and energy and more opportunity to do the things you really want. However, I would save in many other areas before I would have to concede that I cannot afford kids. Also, a woman who wants children could team up with a man who has the same plans and they could mange their finances together.
Absolutely, but to say that it's just as easy with kids as it is without kids is just a lie :) You can do all of these things with kids as well, at the cost of something else. And me personally, as like other people, are not willing to sacrifice these other things, either way it totally fine as long as you choose what's best for you. For me - it's to be without kids and I do not regret my choice
@@a.medved I agree it's a matter of preference. As I wrote, I do not like travelling to far-off places where I know nobody, so that's an easy choice. The most serious disadvantage of having kids is the adverse career impact. One of the two partners at least will have to take it slower. On the other hand, having a family also keeps us from dedicating our souls to our employers and to our work, which can help maintain a healthy balance.
@@erikt1713 absolutely! And usually it is the woman who makes that sacrifice or choice depending on how much the career matters to that individual. Don’t get me wrong, I admire people who choose to have children and dedicates their lives to raise great kids, but it is definitely not for everyone, there are always pros and cons, the question is what is more important to an individual! Thank you for a very nice discussion regarding this topic! I appreciate that ☺️
I could be wrong I'm not them. But it seems like even people who don't want kids don't think about the pain given birth as a reason to not have them. Because I haven't heard them bring it up. Maybe a lot of women don't think about the pain giving birth
I can have a hard time trying to live by myself without kids yelling at me telling me, "Mommy where are going?!" And whether I know it or not, someone might kidnap one my kids while I'm trying to find a place to stay.
Even tho this dosen't have to be true. Some people might all ways true to think of a bad reason as to why they are childfree or something being wrong with them. Like they don't have kids because they don't have much money. They can't get a partner they can't find the right person. Or even that they can't have kids. Some people might all ways true to make up reasons about people like that
Weather it's because they don't have much money. They can't find a partner they can't find the right person they can't have kids. Come to think about it sometimes it could be easy for people to think of a reason as to why they are childfree. Or for people to try to think of something being wrong with them
Get u a good dog sitter or family member who loves dog. My aunt dog has come over every time she went on vacation. We already have a dog and they get along.
You don't have to explain it to them. Just tell them to get out of your face. Who cares what they think? I generally avoid people who pester me about anything.
Sorry that this is often topic from childfree. But because people might miss them and they might have nasty new nabers. They could even say that moving might be selfish
If they say that lots of people have kids who shouldn't have kids. Fighting against that they could say what about if some of your ancestors was the kind of people you think shouldn't of had kids. And they didn't have kids then you wouldn't be hear.
When some people didn't want kids. And then they got married to someone who wants kids and had kids. Maybe that was because they didn't not want kids that much. And when some people who want kids get married to someone who dosen't want kids and didn't have them. Maybe they didn't want kids that much. If they don't sick with it maybe they don't want kids that much or they don't not want kids that much
I'm not trying to attack you by saying this. But to childfree by choice people. Another thing people could say or bring up to them is. What about if they didn't have birth control
They could all so say that some people are being selfish by not dating some people. Not given them a chance and keeping some people single. They wouldn't be hear if someone didn't date there dad or give him a chance and kept him single
I don't think everyone who wants kids is programmend to want kids. I thnk some people can just want them even if they are not programmed to want them. Sometimes it could be both. But some people being programmed to want kids. Could be why some people want kids when they are young but not when there older. And that could be why some people want kids with out thinking about it much
i believe it's both...but there's a tremendous lack of critical thought in regard to having kids...many folks don't truly think it all through and have them because they think that's what they're supposed to do..
Come to think about it. It might not all ways be both of them who was young and dumb and not thinking about it. Sometimes they might want kids. But it might just be the partner who is young and dumb
Hello.I also want to be Childfree by choice but always having fear of lonely because whatever and how much money you have no one an outsider will full fill that loneliness.I think so.Can you please guide me on my thoughts.Please reply me.
Hi, your fear is totally understandable, and I think that is a fear in everyone since we are social creatures by nature. For me, family is what I make it to be. Blood, for me, is not thicker than water. A child should not define my worth as an individual. I can have a fulfilling life with friends, with a partner, with fun activities. Or work with kids/teenagers. There are so many ways you can go to have a fulfilling life that doesn't make you feel lonely. In my case, I would not mind adopting a child later on, there are so many children without a home already that need help. So when I feel I'm ready, then I might open my home for fosterkids.
although wayyyy easier said than done, the solution to loneliness is having strong social relationships with other people. those people do not have to be children. they can be friends who you meet from school, at work, through hobbies or your community, via random chance interactions; they can be family members such as siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandkids, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc and people who are friends of these family members whom you are introduced to by family; they can also be romantic relationships with current partners, past partners who you are still on good terms and in contact with. there are so many people out there for you to connect with, you do not need to resort to having kids that you don't want to solve the issue. please don't think you're alone - a lot of people are afraid of being alone but not having kids doesnt mean that youre automatically condemned to this fate! unfortunately, some people have children because they are lonely and wish for someone to depend on them and need them. it is wrong to do this, as children are people in their own right, with their own desires and lives, so to bring a child into this world solely out of boredom or fear is very unfair for the child and very unhealthy to want them to be attached to you at the hip and treat them like an emotional support animal lol. you say that no outsider can fill the void of loneliness but honestly, children are also outsiders. they are autonomous beings with their own thoughts and opinions. plenty of children stop contacting their parents due to spending more time on their own lives and commitments and due to souring of the relationships, so having kids doesn't even guarantee that youwon't be alone
@@a.medvedAre we REALLY social creatures by "nature" OR are we social creatures because we are forced to be? I mean, with so many people in the world, socialization kinda just happens. But if given the choice, I would take my books, food, and a lifetime supply of red wine to happily live solo on an island until I die.
@@Childfree334 I understand you, and I think it is very individual, in today's society we are able to live alone by ourselves, but before modern times we would have died without other people. But ofc, then we didn't have the choice :P
Sadly some parents might only really like them and love them more as kids. And not as much as grown ups. Some parents might not like there kids becoming more grown up and independent and havng there own life
I didn't say you was programmed to not want kids. I said some people might not be programmed to want kids and maybe that's you. Even some people who want kids might not all ways be programmed to want kids
Fighting against them saying that lots of people have kids or shouldn't have them. They could say add have you ever dune anything what you shouldn't have dune. And they could all so say. People shouldn't eat bad food lie in the sun for to long drink smoke hit someone
When they say not everyone wants kids. I understand that but that's not the only reason why people don't have kids. Some people might not be able to have kids. Some people might not manage to get a partner or find the right person. And some of the young and dumb who might of had kids with out thinking about it. Might have been with partners who was on the pills. That's not in there control what someone else dose
Hola..ante todo tómelo con calma es claro que éste molesta si no estuviera haciendo este video explicando del porqué no quiere niño se le respeta su decisión pero he visto que muchas gentes y exigen al estado promulgar leyes a favor de eso porque no quieren niños ya que consideran un estorbo al país de progresar...lastimosamente su árbol genealógica se Verá afectada y borrará toda existencia de su decendecia repito una vez más es su decisión no estoy aquí para decirle lo que tiene que hacer pero luego no lance video del porqué no tuvo o busque un culpable por la decisión que tomó ..espero de corazón que le vaya bien y pueda logra sus sueños.
I my last message what I just got a love from. I forgot about one more what might be you. Some people might not be programmed to want kids and not want kids
Maybe not everyone who wants kids is programmed to want them. If they are not programmed it might not mean they won't want them. But they might put more thought into it
@@a.medved No not that your programmed to not want kids. But some people might not be programmed to want kids. You might not be programmed to want kids that might be why you don't want them
I don't think the world they live in now is there only reason why a person might not want kids. Other why's they could of had kids when they was younger
Because birth control dosen't all ways work. They might not all ways really be childfree by cholice sometimes it could be because they can't have kids.
Whereever this came from I don't think its true. Or not true so much when this woman said its all so possible for some people to be programed to not want kids. The reason I don't think that's true. Is because I think normally people who don't want kids think about it and have better underetanding. Some people who want kids might not think about it. Because some of them might be programmed
