Dark Side of Polygamy in Islam Featuring Debbie (formerly Muneera) 

A great lover is not a Man who romances a different woman every night; A great lover is one who romances the same woman for a lifetime

Polygamy is proof you don't love your wife.

I'm not a woman but just asking "Can I have a second wife" would definitely break something in the relationship and my love.

I've met so many adult children from these situations whose mothers are the second or third wife. There's shame, jealousy, the kids from different mothers are treated differently in a hierarchy, and it's obvious many guys use it as a way to just have sex with more women; not for any type of religious reasons.

I'm an Ex Mormon, our prophets all had multiple wives. I've seen the same arguments made for Islamic polygamy as the apologetics for Joseph Smith.

In Indonesia, man use this phrase to woman "polygamy is chance for you to proof that You love god (by agreeing polygamy) more than love man". Sick eh?

My now ex-husband thought taking a second wife would fix our marital problems. He thought wrong. It was the last straw. He only took, never gave, didn't provide, didn't listen, didn't communicate, didn't pull his weight. Yeah, sure, bringing a complicating factor would improve things.

FINALLY a man from the Muslim world EXPOSING and calling out the bs in the culture

If polygamy were truly good, then why didn’t he want his daughter to be in it? He even say it will hurt her, you can see that he knew but as long as it isn’t his daughter he wouldn’t care.

The biggest coward of a Man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her

In England ( as I am sure elsewhere) the second or third wife would be considered a single parent as she is not legally married. Therefore she can claim single parent allowance as well as child benefit. A very unwholesome situation for honourable Muslims to have their second or third union paid for by the state.

I would straight go crazy if my husband was sleeping with someone else.. nothing in the world is so shameful for a woman

The moment a man would just ask, if he could have a second wife the divorce Papers would be on the way via express delivery!!!

Thank you for this. It's a disgusting system & people need to call it out for what it is. What a horrible, nauseating situation - _"we were both pregnant at the same time.."_ 🤢

Strange how nothing that men like is haram in Islam!

polygamy itself is evil

And sex slaves, Sameer. Always emphasize that. Not just 4 wives and "concubines", but literal sex slaves they are allowed to possess, to this day, under the "right" conditions...

Islam does it's best to restrict women from having any independent life - whether it is studying, earning , succession, and even in matters of socializing and what she should wear . Then to claim that these same women must and do give their " free consent" for the man to take on another wife ! If there is no possibility to lead an independent, dignified life otherwise , is it surprising that the absolute majority of Muslim women give their " free consent" ?

An honourable man doesn't look at women other than his wife. I am proud to hold myself to this high moral standard

Why do Western women get involved in these relationships?

I did love marriage .He married to second secretly after 3 years of marriage.when i found out i gave him divorce.He was saying it is allowed in islam but i refused i said then i want to have second husband then

This topic was always the most disturbing to hear about since I was a child. I highly respect Abdullah's acknowledgment of women's feelings. If everyone thought and considered others' feelings Islam would vanish.

Most women would leave if they could and were financially capable.

I think Abdullah put it mildly when he was talking about Sawda. Basically the righteous example for all mankind was just going to dump her and leave her to starve, and she more or less had to beg him not to throw her and said that he could have her night with Aisha if he just didn't throw her away like trash. He really was treating her like a disposable wife. And Muhammad had his revelation to tell his wives that he could dump them all and Allah would provide him with better wives. It really is a joke!

my mother told me that she knew this man who had 2 wives, who didn't know that their husband was married to the other woman. he had 2 seperate houses, one with each wife, and children with the wives two. so he was basically living a double life and would disguise visiting the other house as a bussiness trip.

every video raises my respect for you!

Crazy that two consenting adults being in a relationship or even talking to eachother without a mahram is so evil despite both of them choosing to do so and happy in doing so yet somehow going against your spouses back to go for a whole ass marriage is somehow legit. 🙃🙃🙃

Before I read the book Muhammad; Biography of the Prophet, I had been fooled into thinking his polygamous marriage was positive and functional. The author Karen Armstrong seemed to pre-emptively lambast western readers for thinking badly of it, only to let slip it was indeed awful and toxic!

More wives, more children, more Muslims.

I peeped these flaws and more even as a kid (when I was muslim). It was offering women the worst kind of relationship, the worst aspects of monogamy (boredom, lack of novelty, etc..) without the best parts (fidelity, lack of stds and sti's, stability, safety, security, consistency, boundaries, etc..) AND also giving you the worst aspects of an open relationship (diseases, complications, envy, sharing resources) while not getting the best parts (access to sex with multiple attractive men of your choosing, novelty, variety, etc..). In order for men to get this kind of one sided relationship they have to stand on women, take everything, and have fuck all to offer in return.

True it's hard for me to be fully faithful with Islam when I know Islam allows polygamy

Hey thanks for what you do 👍🏿

Am asking, what's the difference between getting married to a cheating husband, and getting married as a second wife.....

Polygamy is the worst

As a Christian - I told my husband, if he ever cheats, he is out and divorce will follow. Married 50 years.

Polygamy also decreases genetic diversity, especially in small communities.

My ex-boyfriend is an ex-muslim. He told me early on that he was polygamous and I told him I would consider it. But as the relationship continued, I began to see how unfair and unbalanced his views were on women. Ultimately it was the reason we broke up. Now, learning more about Islam from these videos, I can see how growing up Muslim still deeply affects his worldview. I don't blame him. I grew up Mormon and I understand. But it makes me very sad. To me it's an unhealthy mindset that was being used to avoid other internal problems. I'm not against polyamorous relationships, but there needs to be a lot of communication, fairness, and respect involved. Anyhow, thank you for sharing all of these videos. It's been my coping mechanism since we broke up because I miss him a lot..😢

Sameer, that's the problem with polygamy ANYWHERE, not just Islam. Those things you mentioned are built-in any religion that allows polygamy but not say, polyamory. The women become "sister-wives" at best, Mormon speak wise. But it ain't a democracy, it's always whatever the dude says, for if the current wives do not "consent" to new wives, there's always the threat of being replaced entirely.

Muslim men are not even aware that there even exists a road that leads to respect for each other and equality.

You are incredible man! You have My support and admiration! You are as intelectually honest as empathic!

I understand that the first wife can't do much about the situation,but why would a woman accept to marry a man that's already married and become the second wife? I don't mean in the case that she doesn't know, in Debbie's and her family's case, the other woman was aware of the situation. I don't get it.

And yet you can divorce (talak) one of 4 and marry another and get another etc, etc..... besides concubines. It is called "UNLIMITED EDITION". Women in the world must wake up!!!

Great work abdullah

Thanks for exposing these evils Most of us don’t know this

I always thought this was practiced in ancient times because so many men died in warfare and the rich men were in a position to support two or more wives. It is unfair because some men would be left without a partner.

I am okay if its open relationship where both partners agree to be with other persons but islamic polygamy is messed up and its just benefit of men, before it was much easier, nowadays its little tough, but let me say you its all about Sex nothing else,

If a man has more then one wife .. It is not love the whole situation is just LUST he does Not love any of them Not the first ( because he married someone else ) not second or third or fourth !! you only can share a bond with one person

Amazing Facts ..Thanks for bringing out Truth.

People, please share this videos around esp those in UK to help all the naive white British women not to fall into Islam. TQ Abdullah Sameer!

How is lying and cheating good? My husband said any man can have many women but it takes a special kind of man to form a family and a bond with one woman. My husband is Muslim and he told me he was marrying a woman in his home country. Later, he divorced her and changed his mind about that philosophy.

The best of all men. Setting the bar lowwwww since the 700s…

This was so interesting….bizar. Love your channel!

This woman is so honest in his nature .

Friendly ex-muslim I've just subscribed to your channel. Keep sharing the truth.

Living inthe Mid East for many years l met many Muslim men especially Palestinians who married western girls and had children in Europe and after a few decades working in Europe left the European wife by telling me !" Oh my mother is very old and she begged me to come home and marry ( a very young ) local girl so his mother can die in peace ! I heard this story many times .

Much love and respect to you Abdullah Sameer 💕

Thanks sameer for exposing, I was still thinking in western countries Muslim men don't have multiple wife's' bcos polygamy is banned.

This stupid system does not benefit children or wife at all in 1st and 2nd world countries cause when pops passes you should see the fights over inheritances ! It’s messy

i completely agree with this! so informative

Thanks for the info

As a Muslim, I don't no any Muslims with more than one wife. Good to here the womens side of the story.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ a and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others-and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?” Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. Matthew 18

New subscribers here... God bless us all

Deborah's story has truly shed much more light onto Islam . I truly feel sorry for her that she had to go through all of this . In the present day this would be considered wrong and rightfully so .

💯💯I totally agree wit what y’all both saying

This is why men pay child support. They want to have multiple wives and not take care of their offspring, yet are more financially dependent because they generally make more money, as they wife generally does most of the child rearing, even if she is employed, effectively making her have two jobs, her employer and her home. I think the government should let people consider household duties employment, and people should contract them out. Also, marriage contracts should be taken more seriously.

Wonderful message brother

Amazing topics, well done Abdullah- can you discuss about Halala marriage on your next topic?

Polygamy should be banned now. It's toooo outdated.

Joseph Smith was similar 🤔......

Men are now saying they can secretly marry a second wife

Question..... If an equal number of children who are born are female and male=50/50. Then if some men take more than one wife, there are less women in the "marriage pool", is he depriving another male of a chance to marriage and have kids and a nice family life?

Polygamy done justly is extremely rare. Not even woman is fit for polygamy. No man should force his first wife into polygamy . She might stay because of the kids, but she will die inside her and that marriage too

Thanks for doing this Abdullah. I have one request- when you talk about the so called prophet Muhammad, could you refer to him as the so called prophet sometimes? I would greatly appreciate it, and I think that some other people would too.

I love this man❤ hes so brave to speak out🎉

God bless you

She fortified the cliche 'dumb blonde'

Petition to push for polyandry being allowed in Islam!!! 🤣🤣

thank you so much thank you thank you

How about establishing what's ok/not ok before marrying her? Is polygamy a violation of her boundaries? what is the definition of cheating for both parties? are they on the same wavelength, and do their values match? It takes two to tango, and mutual respect is crucial in any human relationship. The vast majority of people would not be ok with polygamy, or "open relationships". Personally, I've never really seen any of these relationships work out. More often than not, it will break a relationship, and not make one.

This is so crazy, when I used to be a Muslim, I knew personally about many people (most pretended to be very religious) who actually had more wives. Also, this is very common among the Muslims in Europe, and same way as Deb told, that polygamy is illegal, but they had Islamic marriages done (which are nowhere to find by the State Officials).

Thanks

I’m a recent revert, and I feel like I will have a hard enough time finding one good wife, let alone four. Seems to be financially and mentally draining. Nonetheless, I understand the history and the reasoning behind it.

Islam did not want women baby making machines but just for lust.How many kids He got from Nine ones.How many did Hazrat Bilal had ,the prayer caller with the most attractive voice.

Great vid as usual @FriendlyExmuslim. Some points: polygamy doesn't lead to net more kids for Islam than 1:1 marriage among two muslims, since, as you observed, a proportionate number of men will be left out... EXCEPT when paired with conversion, with or without consent. So sex-captives/slaves/wives have a big marginal value with polygamy. Relatedly, having many men who can't get a mate is bad for a stable society, but GREAT for a warlike one, as it incentivizes them to fight, especially when paired with the promise of 4 wives and unlimited concubines. Since Islam is structured for eternal fighting, from a game theory standpoint that's a winning equation, unless it ever reached its goal of world dominion, since there's no "off switch." But obviously Momo didn't really care what would happen after he was gone, long as no one else married his wives. Also, on the flip side, polygamy DOES appeal to women's animal instinct of hypergamy, whereby many would rather share a top 10% man with other women that have exclusivity with a lower tier man; something interesting to look into. Toodles!

If a man expects his Woman to be an Angel in his life; Then he should create first a Heaven for her

The islam man told the lady that he will get a 2 wife, yet the lady still want to marry him, she ask for it

If you’re a warlord it’s good to have many young single men. They are more willing to go to war.

You are right.

We really dont serve the same God..this Allah have all the crazy rules...but not my Lord Jesus

Islam doesnt encourage puligumi. Even allah said if you cant justice marry only one wife and allah said even you men can never give jutice between your wives so keep only one wife. As a muslim woman even i can never accept poligumi but i believe allah is a creater and he made this law for support women in bad condition like war etc and reduced adultry and rape. In olden time men die more compare to women but in modern age its not happening. Women can work now and even husband die or divorce them they are capable to stand themselves. And if they want to marry another men, lots of men available like widow man or divorcy men however its few women fault because they dont want to marry to support a men who has no wife. Some women they are lazy and greedy for money, they like to marry with married men who has already wife and children and they know even he is a married man and still they make affair with the married man and become ready to a second wife or third and fourth. Muhammad PEACE BE UPON HIM never married until his first wife died because he loves his first wife and respect her and he has children with his firsrt wife. 10 years he was living as a widow man and looked after children very well ans spread the deen and for the islam he married so many wives and gave support to women because there is war happened and lots of women left widow and he alwarys give justice to each wife. Now a days some Muslim scholars they are very harsh and rude and they encourag ploigumi and they keep muslim women' s mouth shut. Women are women 's enemy if women know he is already married man why they are ready to marry with him. If my husband divorced me or he is died and (I dont want to) always pray for him that allah give him healthy and long life) , I would never accept to become a second wife. How can i hurt a woman as being a woman. Its a highly recommended if you want a second wife ask your firsr wife if she is ready amd happy its fine but its very rare . Some women have no children still they dont want to their husband marry another women but few women say ok marry another women so you can have children. some harsh and very stupid scholar say no need to ask wife and even dont tell your firsr wife or even dont tell another women that you are already married. Some men are pigs and coward they dont tell even their wife or another woman they are already married thatsy more divorce is happening now a days.

Just one more gift of Al-Islam.

I knew a m. man who married a blind woman, who does begging on the streets and he lives on her.....here he will go to heaven because he did a good deed of marrying her....he loses nothing....he can marry more

Had polygamy been good prophet would not have got in a mess for thirty days with them according to Quran.They were threatened by Allah either to be submissive or they would be replaced with pious,prayers saying, fast keeping, unmarried and widow ones.Hazrat Sauda was taken back on compromise and Allah permittd he should go to the one whomever he liked most .Choice was given so where was justice among them.

Thank you for this! Muslims trying to justify polygamy by saying "Muslim men are polygamists by nature, Allah has created them like that - it is their need to have more than 1 wife" I actually started thinking that this might be true, women might be different than men. But then I thought that if by nature men are polygamous then by nature it is hard for women to accept this. There are many verses in the Quran about the Prophet's wives and their jealousies. We also know that Prophet Muhammad didn't allow his son in law Ali to take a second wife because it would hurt his daughter Fatima. (Also, why was there a different rule for Prophet Muhammad's daughter?) Anyway, knowing that women might suffer a lot because of this, how can this be ok? How?? This can only mean that women's opinions, feelings etc. do not matter at all in Islam. But after watching your video and other videos from other people, it gives me hope that there are some nice men in this world who actually care about women's emotions and feelings. And I don't understand how Muslim women can be ok with this 🤮

Wanna know how women feel when their husband have polygamy life. Let women have many husbands too , how men feel are the same feeling as women feel as we are all human who have feeling .

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” - Hebrews 13

Imagine if muslim women could also marry with five men in same time, it would be more fairly Lol :D

In England a lot of Islamic marriages are not completing the civil process. So the wife has no recourse to the legal system if the marriage breaks down

Hi Abdullah! Can you debate Adnan Rashid?