Dealing with anger 

I was sexually abused for years and grew up in a culture that women/children did not have a voice. The biggest trigger for me is not being heard/understood, being ignored. I can be angry about something at a level 3 but if I voice it and it gets ignored, it immediately jumps to a level 10. I also have just as much anger when I see others getting ignored or not having a voice. As far as righteous anger…I used to get really upset about minor issues like being overcharged or not getting the discount I was supposed to get, people cutting in line, bullies, etc. I could not control myself but I realized that it was not about me at all. It was more about fairness and justice. In my head, I spoke up because it was a way to balance justice in the world, as crazy as it seemed. From there, I realized that I could use my anger for a better cause…advocating against child abuse, abortion, trafficking, etc. So now, instead of getting worked up about day to day stuff I try to focus it towards a greater good, a bigger cause. It is so much more effective and rewarding.

I love how they encourage each other to go deeper in their thinking

“Anger reveals your idols” - wow, that’s profound. Oftentimes we turn our anger outwards, and think the cause is external, meanwhile it’s revealing something within. That’s enlightening, thanks for this.

“Anger is a symptom…”-That just put so many things into perspective!

“Real righteous anger compels us to be different, not compels us to attack” 🙌🏾💯 Soo good, and sobering!

"I idolize the way I am able to think, therfore if in any way the way I think is challenged then you will see anger." OUCH! Thank God for you both and your message.

YES!! Anxiety and anger is definitely connected it’s easier to be angry than to be vulnerable.

I had that silent anger, so much so that I planned out and attempted to (un alive) my abusive father. To cope with our toxic home I became addicted to porn and alcohol at age 11, but when God got through with me 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Talk about the glory of the Lord on full display for the redemption 🙏🏾

Being easily Irritated is an anger issue - Ouch "IF you investigate what makes you angry you'll find your idols" Women ALSO show anger by the silent treatment or cutting people off QUICKLY because they didn't get their way (another way of manipulation) So good Jackie - that manipulation can be with our children too (usually with adult children or High school age)

“Anger is more convenient for someone who doesn’t want to look weak.” + “Anger/Irritability is a form of control. “ “Women try Controlling their environment and controlling people instead of just dealing with the anger. Making puzzle pieces with human beings” 🤯🤯😭😭 This was extremely helpful and realistic. Thankful for the anointing and wisdom God has placed in both of y’all to break it down so clear for us.

I am cracking up from the beginning of this episode; that was the holy ghost Preston, Jackie was being used by the holy one to discuss hygiene 🙌🏾🙌🏾🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Being easily irritated is being easily angered" This literally stunned me into silence. Even in high school, I used to say I don't ever get angry/mad, I just get frustrated or irritated. I don't know if it was easily, but I knew the situations that could cause it.

“New creature but we got some residue from the old one…we’re in a sanctification process” ….that was good!

The feminine expression of anger being manipulation was like. 🤯 cause I knew exactly what you were gonna say right when you said it cause it’s THAT true. Anger begets the need to control.

This is good…because as a woman, I express anger by shutting down and silent treatment because I don’t feel hard…it’s a defensive mechanism because I realize if I let you in that moment how I feel…I’ll unleash the wrath of God…

As a 17 year old girl this was so insightful and helpful. I always knew I was angry but I never even thought of thinking why. Glory to Jesus Christ alone for this Godly perspective! Keep doing His good work.

"Anger is more convenient to someone who doesn't want to look weak." I'm a female... and this is my struggle. Lord help me. My pride. I don't cry much...except when I'm really angry. Never thought about it. Thankful for this ...I love you fam and thank God for your transparency. You're helping Saints as we all seek to grow to be more like Christ.

As you are talking, I just realized that my anger has been my state of panic and helplessness expressing itself in a versaral reaction

…alot of the anger we dealing with is rooted to our childhood That drove me into deep introspection ….

To back up your point that fear sometimes manifests as anger- a lot of my "road rage" type reactions went away when I started admitting that what the other driver did scared me.

WOW. I love the way that you communicate openly with each other & challenge each other to grow intellectually, spiritually, & holistically. This whole discussion was not only enlightening but also convicting. God bless you both so much for letting Him use you.

Vengeance is mine said the Lord has keep me in peace and not to act in a negative way based on my anger. Thank you Perry’s for this Pod it’s amazing ❤

Wanted to thank my brother and sister for taking the time to have this talk. Y'all help me realize how angry I am. I will take this to the Lord. God Bless Y'all

Gaslighting is something to be triggered by. I don’t think I’m smarter than anyone. But I will get angry when it happens to me or anyone else. But I don’t know how to handle it correctly. This was a really insightful discussion. Thank y’all. Blessups 🙏🏽💕

This is a very convicting video for me because much like Jackie, little things irritate me and quickly. I don’t have a super dramatic, overtly angry response, but definitely annoyance. The root of this for me has been a lack of patience, and also feeling unseen or dismissed. I also used to be a “pushover” or “people pleaser”. That in and of itself can take away your voice, so once I found my voice i did not let others forget it. Pray for me y’all😩.

This segment HEEERRRREEEE.. .is alright with me! Thank you for the transparency. I realize I have anger issues. . . and I feel like i should have known this and have been delivered from it by now because of how old i am but deliverance doesn't have an age limit and because i realize NOW, i can be made all the better! I appreciate you PERRYS!!! 🧡🧡🧡

At 65, I spent many years being abused, ridiculed, beaten, threatened, etc.... simply because of being born with a birth defect. I was constantly mocked and attacked, treated like trash by people in school, in church/Sunday school sessions, on many jobs, and especially at home! My own brother repeatedly sought to "punish" me for having been born a physical freak!! He would often bring one or two male friends, or a female friend out to our parents place (far outside of the town we were from). He would immediately insult me, kick me, and threatened to kill me, just to show off how "tough" he thought he was! I had spent over a decade being beaten, and threatened with death! I shouted to God for justice, for years! Justice finally came when I was able to move away for several years.

I'm with Jackie. My biggest irritant is people thinking I'm stupid. Mine manifested from a lifetime of hearing "oh you don't have no common sense, you're just book smart." You mean because I didn't understand something? Because I ask questions? Because we don't have the same point of view? Because my mind doesn't operate like yours? That being paired with the person who is "smart" in my family, irks me. Especially, now that I have surpassed knowledge in certain area of older family members. However, I can see it for what it is. It is prideful. Very prideful of me. It's to the point I question pursuing further education. I'm not sure if it's because I want to show my family just how capable I am or have some accolade obsession. Do I want to be viewed as the intelligent person? Or am I still the very curious and inquisitive person I was as a child?

Your videos are therapy at this point, I didn't know I had an anger problem. Thanks Perrys,glory to God.

Loved this talk and everything just wanted to add that another way that woman express anger is through gossip!!! [edit] I hope you can cover more on women angry, bitterness and dealing with ‘when someone makes you feel stupid’ as Jackie said

Seriously it's just sad, that a man getting angry is considered as strength, here in Africa it's on a whole new level.

I've recently been trying to find the cause of my anger but I haven't found it yet. I know why I'm angry at my mother - that stems from constantly being criticized by her with everything - and I'm working on that; I haven't figured out why I'm angry at everything else though. I'm like Jackie where I'm constantly irritated by the littlest thing. I feel enslaved by it and I pray for God to deliver me from it.

I never thought being easily irritated or easily is annoyed is a form of anger 😩 … how do we get to the root of it and remove that stronghold!?! 🤔

This episode was right on time for me. I thought I was healed in some areas but dealing with my co parenting situation has proved I need to deal with my anger.

As a women who grew up in a household that was predominately male, I relate to the way 'male' anger is described. Its funny, because struggling with weakness and not wanting to show true emotions or cry is a symptom of that. Even if it is socially acceptable for a woman to cry I still can't break what was taught to my brothers and I.

Wow! “If you investigate what makes you angry you’ll find your idols.” That is so powerful and true. I know I struggle with idolizing things like hair and beauty, but I never really understood why I’d get angry and irritated when I turned to those things. When it comes to beauty and hair, I often idolize what other women have (concerning hair length especially) and get angry or irritated around them because I am jealous of what they have, rather than giving God thanks for what I have. Please pray for me. But this also showcases the process and outcome of sanctification. It’s crazy how the things you once loved you now grow and distaste for because of the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. God bless you guys! Great episode!

@preston you’re the best! Though I barely know your story, I absolutely love how you so transparently embody the transforming power of the gospel in how you relate to and interact with @jackie. You carry the heart of Christ for her with such dignity and respect… It’s breath taking and awe inspiring. Thank you for being not only an example for believing husbands in the black community, but for men all over the world!

Preston that defining how to be righteously angry was so good. It helped me to understand it.

I am so glad that I came across this video. It’s honestly a sign of relief. Watching this has allowed me to open my eyes and understand that I am dealing with anger, what angers me, and how to deal with it in a healthy way. I just pray that God will continue to be patient with me because I am tired of dealing with my anger in a toxic way.

I believe unrighteous judgement can be a form of anger - as it relates to all people but especially women.

So on time message. I deal with anger and pray daily God delivers me from it because it's expressed in ugly ways through out my days and it's a terrible place to be in. This morning I felt that anger that I thought I was doing better with coming back and there came y'all's video right on time.

Thank you both for snatching the time to minister in this way. You are deeply appreciated. Thank you for helping us articulate what we experience internally with anger. Your ministry is uniquely special. Much love.

Yes ma’am I have to have two wash cloths. “easily irritated is an anger issue” that was a wow moment and made me reflect. I’m unfortunately easily irritable.

The first 2 min of this is HILARIOUS 😂 “but what about the butt? 🤔” “All they got is body towels” Yoooooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I love this so much 💜 As a woman who has dealt/ is dealing with healing from anger, I can relate to pretty much this whole conversation. I was the one who wanted to manipulate the people around me and my surroundings so that no one could push that one button that would set me off like a firecracker. Only learning that the more I pursued that manipulation, I was only piling on more and more things and thoughts that would make me angry. Glory to God for the great works He's doing within me.

Wow! This is good spiritual food! I've now identified several areas of anger that I'm masquerading as something else like my OCD, as well as intellectual irritation. My Lord.. I'm releasing it to The Lord now, requesting healing, and faithfully waiting on Him to manifest my healing.

Wow this was such a great and edifying conversation. All Glory to the Lord, God bless you both and thank you! I truly needed to hear this because it make me reflect so much on my anger.

This was really good y’all. Such a good conversation and so many gems. This helped open my eyes to a lot more as well.

THANK YOU both so much for talking about this! Your discussion has opened my eyes to my own pride and anger and where it derives from. Keep speaking truth and talking about the hard stuff!

I have cried deep sobs while listening (starting at around 17:31 especially) and processing this message. It's so simplistically accurate yet extremely and profoundly honest. There has been a great deal of shame and guilt that I carried for many years. Having been molested and watching people my entire life mask up, pretending to be saved yet actually living for and loving the world. As a young mother, I attempted to break certain cycles that I admit I was actually ill-equipped to completely denounce for the sake of family. Fast forward to today and I am so grateful and thankful that God is helping me unlearn the false things that were indoctrinated in me. Knowing some truth only resulted in my living some freedom. Taking the responsibility to actually STUDY God's Word and being in a family of Christ that is helping me grow and being my accountability partner, I can say I see so much that I've said and done, and am in some aspects still dealing with that I know has d God. Yet, here I am getting stronger and WISER and willing to release even more of the enemy that had convinced me I needed to hold on to. Being afraid to share my story with the world because of the shame I would bring to my family when they were living their lives, unapologetically assuming I would always secure their secrets and damage that helped to mold the controlling person I have been most of my life in certain ways. Not feeling heard or respected have been MAJOR trigger's for me. I'm thankful that a weight has been lifted today and that this message and this thread have helped me see myself more. I am humbled and encouraged.

Your observation about manipulation and control is so spot on for me! I’m working on this and asking God to work this out of me. I also feel called to this ministry. Preciate this video

This is so deep. My God... So many things you guys said are profound that we should spend time listening to this again and meditating on these things that you guys shared here. Thank you guys for being vulnerable here. It sheds so much light on so many things for me.

Mann,..Sooo good ! I feel like I’m working through a lot of my own personal hurts. Which really has sat down as anger with how someone has treated me. But hearing what you guys are saying reminds me of how much not only do I need to keep forgiving but I need to give more empathy toward those who have hurt me as well. I love this !! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

This is sooooo good!!! Got me self reflecting/ repenting over here. Y'all podcasts is so edifying. Love y'all. Thank you for this!

I cannot thank you enough for this. Definitely broken down a lot of my thoughts, and feelings, towards my situation as of late. Helped me to better understand myself. Amazing episode!

I love this podcast so much! Thank you for talking about these issues in such a fun, honest and transparent way

Thank you all for this, it truly blessed me. God bless yall 🙏🏽

Really blessed by this conversation. It is mind blowing on how on time the message was. God bless you both.

Yesssss THAT WAS SO GOOD! So many points and nuggets. I’m going to have to watch again to take notes. Can I also say that was the most calmest conversation on anger I’ve seen in a while.

Love this. Ive struggle with anger since a young’n and this brings me so much clarity in my search to get to the root. Real biblical tools to start unfolding the rubble inside.❤

Preston was genuinely confused in the beginning! 🤣 I love these conversations with Jackie. She makes me think of many topics in a different perspective 🩷

The beginning of this podcast is always funny 😂😂

Thank you for this you guys have no idea how many people you are helping.

Mannnnn!!!!! Y’all be right here n time. This is the second podcast this week where y’all have been all in my house, my friends, my family. Like, I’m learning these things and y’all have been confirming them 🙌🏽🙌🏽 praise God

Wow to the both of you yall hit it right on the spot. Thank you this🙏🏾

You two are awesome. Thank you.

I love how you all talk and listen to one another. I love how you both support each other when you are speaking about the Lord. It blesses my heart and soul! Thank you.

This popped up in my feed. God bless you both and thank you for this discussion.

I'm cracking up and I'm only 2 minutes in. Ms. Jackie, may the Lord bless you. I can't with you this morning.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I can't breathe.

I LOVED this and God bless you both, brother and sister in Christ ‼️ I will be looking forward to listening to another POD cast. Thank you both for your transparency and bringing the pure word of God to the teaching!

I felt this. I’m angry ALL the time, and I can’t find the root. Gonna ask God to soften this heart of mine because my anger is debilitating to the point that it’ll ruin my day. I’ll when go days, weeks, months without talking to someone because I’m angry at them, and I KNOW that’s not good. 😩🥵 Thank you for this dialogue, it was very eye opening!

"Why am I mad? What is under this causing this response?" So good. So many things were said that hit home for me, someone who's been battling with anger; combination of experiences and triggers. However, God has been revealing so many things to me to help me even more through the sanctification process. This popping up on my TL was timely and it was posted on my birthday ❤. God bless you both and your ministry full of wisdom. Very relatable and comforting..

Can I fist say I ABSOLUTELY LOVE y’all!!!!!! God is doing an AMAZING in the both of you!!! Please continue to let God use you both! You both drop sooooo many precious gems 💎💎 here! My husband and I are both 34 and have been married for 13 years and this was truly insightful and encouraging! May God continue to BLESS your family!!!! I Enjoyed every minute of this!

Underneath anger is pain. There’s something that hurts and anger rises to protect the part of you that is threatened or hurt

God has given y’all so much wisdom, love listening and watching, and it’s encouraging

Y’all are really such a blessing to so many people!!! Please don’t stop making videos!!! I’m really working at and growing my relationship with God. Lately I’ve been feeling myself get furious over small things and lashing out in ways I’m not proud of. I know there’s more godly ways to handle things And I really want to work on displaying a more Christ like anger. Being more compassionate and truly trusting that vengeance is Gods. It brings me peace to think about. I’ve never heard anyone break it down in this way. Makes me happy to know that anyone out there hurting children and babies is going to be handled by the alpha and omega.

A really important topic 👏 thank you both so much. Recently, I had to accept that I was angry, which was hidden under my pride and religion. I cried out to the Lord and told him how I felt and gave him the anger. I didn't realise just how much of it I was carrying. I've often felt like I couldn't ask for justice from the Lord as I've been so guilty of so much, who am I to ask for justice? I'm learning the freedom in giving it all to the Lord instead of reacting to my feelings. Like Jackie said, we are to take those feelings to the Lord and I guess I wasn't doing that but trying to deal with it myself again pride and self sufficiency. Greatful for this video, God bless you both 🙏

This woman (me) has struggled with both "Jackie anger" and "Preston anger". It's hard when you can't even detect what's beneath it because the anger is so instantaneous. When I've been in times like those, my whole family hurts, and I feel such a deep mourning and borderline hatred at myself for the pain I've caused (I never touch anyone, but to cause pain you don't have to). I have found that in my attempts at therapy, this issue was never taken seriously, maybe because I can compose myself the vast majority of the time so my therapist (I think) believed I was overstating my struggle. I'm trying to "watch" the times this has occurred in retrospect, lately because I'm always scared another day will happen like this (either succinct days of rapid irritation or the day out of nowhere where I get set off and I just blow a fuse several times-verbally-even after I thought I had calmed down. I had to walk away a lot in those days and I felt like I just was blowing up walking off, blowing up walking off, all. day.). I have lots of trauma and abuse in my past, and great fears in trying to get myself finished with my degree while me and my 3 make it with the funds the Lord does provide. Praise God. But I feel guilty over all that I can't give them as the years go by and sometimes it's too much. That's all I can figure but I don't know what to do with that because it can't change until I'm done (last year coming up, Lord willing). I feel like all I can do is try to be the most loving and a make-the-BEST (truly)-of-anything type mother that I can be. I never feel like I can give enough or do enough that my kids deserve. That's just not a good feeling. Most days, I just focus on my schoolwork and theirs and just try to stay hopeful and in prayer, but honestly some days I have to go numb to a degree so I don't let the anger rise up. Anger (not the righteous kind) is a real threat in and of itself. Thank you for the thoughts on this you both provided.

The intro has me in tears 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀 Me feeling convicted because I get easily irritated 🥲 Okay okay, I hear y’all 🙌🏾

This was so good and needed for someone who needs breakthrough and understanding about anger and how to do it righteously. From growing up even as a female being taught that feeling my feelings are a sign of weakness instead of learning how to not only embrace them but releasing them to God because He is a vengeful God. And to not to just know that logically but TRUST that emotionally and spiritually. Like it takes work to believe God is not a liar and He loves us enough to work on our behalf to gives us justice. I think another root issue with anger is timing. Like God sometimes requires us to wait on Him to give justice and in the generation we want what we want when we want it. And that is also a challenge that takes intentionality to wait on God to do what He does best . Thank you guys for your ministry. May God continue to bless your family ❤

So much fruit in this conversation - I was thoroughly blessed by this discussions, Thank you 🤍

I love the both of you. I love this talk. May God richly bless y’all

I really enjoy you all in the morning or at the office. The topics, the tone, and your interaction with each other are a blessing. My co-workers look at me and ask what I'm laughing at and I think you wouldn't understand unless you can relate and listen to the Perry's. #stllove...

This was soooo good! And you are both so transparent. I could relate to everything that was said. I need to investigate my anger so I can find my idols.

So very thankful for y’all ❤️❤️❤️

I wish there was a love button. May God continue to bless you two and your ministry.

I love this topic! In my marriage I have temptation to go towards unrighteous anger It’s difficult to yield those behaviors. Work in progress!

It’s simple…the Perry’s upload, I listen or watch! Thank y’all for this!

It’s the opening dialogue for me!!! 😂😂 God continue to bless you guy’s ministry!!

William discussion! Easy to understand and much needed, thank you!

I’ve been ignoring this video, GOD knew I needed it. Thank you for this.

thank you for sharing! this definitely ministered to my soul!

I needed this Life True Lesson Session about anger, I will practice the Real Righteous Anger to Compel to be Different..... Thanks a lot 🙏🏾 💓 God 🙌

wow. i needed this. a whole lot. Thank you, Jesus for this couple. thanks for sharing.

Guys thank you so much for sharing on this topic. I literally needed it in this season im in. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing the bottom of your hearts. I can really relate to your stories because im also dealing with my anger for so many years. And God is teaching me right now what is the rightous anger. Because its impossible not to feel anger at all and its impossible not to get angry When we see some injustice and we want Gods holines. So you helped me see that this is not a bad thing to zeal for Gods rightousnes but to deal with humleness and knowing that God knows and can deal with everything and He wants rightousnes more than me.

Hi my name is Clarence. I did not even know that I had anger in me.I was raised in a manipulative and controlling household it was all subtle and I did everything I was told to do. I never even known that's what it was all called until I was born again and even so after so many years of walking with Jesus it's only in the last three years that I begin to learn and be aware of what the Lord is working in me. I have been asking the Lord to "create in me a clean heart..."and to reveal to me if there is any wickedness in me and lead me in the path of righteousness. I have felt that there is some evil device in me and kept asking the Lord to deliver me from it what ever it was. Then I listen to you guys and by God's mercy I repented when I realised that I have been controlling and manipulating my daughter and justifying myself as her mother loving her. I repented and asked Jesus to forgive me and uproot this anger and pride from me. My daughter is born again too so she has her own relationship with the Lord it's not my responsibility to grow her in the Lord he does the work in her. Pray with me sister and brother. God bless you. Great work you are doing. Thanks 🙏❤️

Haven’t got to the end of the video but the beginning is funny 😂 you two are funny, there must be so much joy in your house, love you guys 💕

Another wholesome video 🙌🏾❤️ Love the real conversations you all have with one another . May God continue to elevate your individual paths so you all can become an even stronger union .

This was so good and so relevant for myself and so many loved ones ❤️🙌🏾 Thank you! On another note…I cannot contain my laughter when y’all go on about the washcloth vs the hands. 😆 My showers will never be the same since y’all …mostly YOU Jackie, have brought up the washcloth texture/agitation thing. I mean, I need the friction too…can’t just be smooth. Some folks be treating their showers as dishwashers, but we can’t just be rinsed off with hot water and soap and thinking we good. TBH, I still use a sponge on my dishes before they go in the dishwasher. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Anyhow, It’s the comedy and real talk I didn’t know I needed. 😆 it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my thoughts that other people would consider awkward.

You two are incredible together!!