dean & castiel || the one thing I want [+15x18] 

- Don't be a douchekebab, watch in HD :) -
"Angel-sweet love of my life" ♥
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I'm--------------
umm.
hell, I don't fucking know.
I was prepared for A LOT, but no time on earth would've prepared me for them making destiel canon, like what the actual fuck.
I'm definitely still in shock, even though it's starting to dawn on me that cas is really dead and he really won't be back this time (no, I'm not getting my hopes up for misha being in any more episodes, i don't wanna deal with the devastation and pain thank you very much).
for almost a decade, i've followed the development of their relationship, I dropped the show and picked it back up again but I never really stopped thinking about them, they were always just THERE in my mind reminding me of how this relationship is absolutely unique and one of a kind and how we'll never see anything like it again. and now, they actually crossed the line I never thought they'd cross and I cannot fucking handle it. I've been literally going insane since the ep aired, my entire brain is yelling 24/7 and there's nothing but them and that scene.
honestly what the fuuuuuck.
to me, the line that actually made them canon was not the I love you, that just further validated it; it was cas admitting "because the one thing I want is something I know I can't have". dean really was IT for him and we all knew that, but having the show acknowledge and textualize it wrecked me tbh. this was a clear love confession and it was about cas finally letting himself feel all the love he has for dean in its purest form.
they've always been more than a ship to me, they're the whole reason I started spn and found a show that stayed with me unlike most others. they're the reason - ironically - sam winchester became one of my favourite characters ever, they're the reason - even more ironically - I caught up with the show and found one of my best friends in the process, who hates destiel. nothing about them feels like a coincidence, the impact they've had on me and each other just goes way beyond that.
it also wasn't a coincidence that I had an entirely different video planned for after this episode and then out of nowhere, youtube suggested me a song I used to be obsessed with in 2012, back when I first started shipping them. so here we are, I couldn't resist after rediscovering it. I had a whole seperate breakdown over "better shut your mouth and hold your breath; kiss me now and catch your death" because THEY SHOULD'VE KISSED IN 13x06 LOOK AT DEAN'S FACE AS HE WALKS TOWARDS HIM, but that's a whole other rant.
lastly, I just wanna say that I'll delete any comments making fun of the scene or jensen's and misha's acting. if you don't understand the impact of this scene within the context of the show or if you don't wanna acknowledge that cas' entire purpose revolved around his love for dean and that this love was so powerful that it changed the laws of their world or if you don't wanna see that dean was as shocked as we all were having his best friend confessing he loves him only to be sacrificing himself two seconds later, that's your choice. but I don't want to see any hate towards the actors, the writer or the show for giving me this scene so please take these comments somewhere else.
cas' true moment of happiness really was telling dean how much he loved him after years and years of holding it in, I will go back to crying now GOODBYE.
Couple: Dean & Castiel
Show: Supernatural
Song: • My Skin
Editing: Malagenabolakaful
Colouring: Lavender by SunnyVids ♥
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Thank you so much for watching, please comment if you liked it. And please comment if you didn't. I really wanna know what you think! ♥
#fanvidfeed #viddingisart #destiel
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I own NOTHING but the editing, all credits given to their proper owners at the end of the video.
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