As a 2 I can 100% confirm all of this as true. Most of the time all we need is reassurance that we really are loved and cared about, and that our efforts to display love are being recognized.
I totally agree! And I am constantly learning that the method of transport for the reassurance is really important. I'm talking about love language. If your 2 receives love best through physical touch but you are truckin' along giving them gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, or quality time, they may totally be missing the message!
That’s true but ultimately it’s to be loved wether what we’ve done is recognized or not. Deep down we want to be loved regardless of what we do. The problem really isn’t wether we are worthy of Love but our belief of what it means to be worthy. We feel we have to earn love.. even to ourselves.
It always hits home when I hear someone say “You are loved & you don’t need to DO anything to deserve that love.“ ❤️🥺 Also, I laughed so hard when you reenacted the paper cut on the book 😂 I really related to it as I turn into a registered nurse when my significant other gets hurt. He is always like “I’m fine I promise” and I’m like “juSt LeT mE hELp yOu and maKe iT betTer” LOL. Another thing I could relate to big time was keeping relationships with everyone since high school. I make friends with the grocery store employees, the drive thru window workers, to people I smile at. I’m always wanting people to feel noticed & appreciated. I definitely need to prioritize those relationships with people so it doesn’t drain me completely & so I can have time for MYSELF. I’m too selfless with my time & my boyfriend tells me I don’t need to help every single person I meet in life. Very true!!!
Omg! We’re so much alike. I’m an RN and find myself giving unsolicited advice to help strangers all the time. I’ll volunteer for any good cause. It annoys my family that I make friends with everyone. Except my son he’s a 7. But especially my Husband who is 5. Lol
It’s difficult being raised by a toxic 2, becoming a 2 as a young adult and trying to grow away from the toxic traits. This video is helps hold 2s accountable for their bs, so thank you!
I dated a 2 and I was never able to understand why he wanted to help everyone, why he loved to get too involved with all his friends and even go talk to strangers everywhere we go and then say "I've made a new friend". At some point I thought I was not even that important to him because if he was too nice with everybody how special I could be then? I'm a 5 and the less I want is to get too involved with people,. Also, I really have to like someone to extreme levels to date them or make people my friends. No doubt it was not gonna last lol... of course I got to know he was a 2 after the breakup, so now I understand him better, wish I had known this before.
Well done. This was funny and lighthearted but it really helped me to understand myself. I appreciate the ending where you said “No matter what, you are loved and you don’t need to do anything more to make this happen.”
I think my SO is a 2. He acts like this mostly spot on but in slightly different ways. It's really helpful to know how they think because sometimes I just don't understand why he does these things he does.
Point seven about the Two spending all his day outside to help people (because if he help them they will help him one day (or not...)) and coming back home very late, exhausted, with lack of energy and of time for himself, is sooo accurate x) The funny video for this point was not even caricatural x) Account from a Five living with a (loving) Two :)
Oh I’m a little bit of this. Empath and want to be friends with everyone but also skeptical and I usually forgive & forget which is really bad, I wish I could learn my lesson but I don’t.
My husband is the most extreme type 2 I’ve ever met. Yesterday he got upset because I was sick and I went to work instead of letting him take care of me. I’m a type 5 and I didn’t realize that it bothered him until hours later when he told me how devastated he was that I “didn’t need him”. He is such a precious cinnamon roll. 🥺
Spot on. Even though this video was intended for humor, it sure brought a lot memories back. My ex wife of 28 years and five children is an Enneagram 2 with me being an 8. She did so much for everyone but our relationship suffered. Our weekends were always filled some commitment to help others or our children. My straightforwardness about her having appropriate boundaries with others was interpreted as me being mean or as she would say "being an asshole." I admit, I sometimes was an asshole out of frustration. It played a major impact in our divorce. She was exhausted behind closed doors. I don't think Enneagram 2's and 8's are a good mix. I don't mind helping others in times of need but there's a point it becomes downright enabling. These learned behaviors are all linked to childhood trauma.
As a type 8 I didn’t realize until halfway through the video that these were supposed to be annoying things, I actually found them quite endearing and some things I could help 2s with like their identity and other things just seem fair to me like ok you helped me out with something and you want me to do something with you instead of watching a movie with a friend, I think that’s fair. Idk, I guess to me these things aren’t as annoying
I'm only on point one and I'm already nodding my head in agreement, lol! I'll try my best to show my love for my partner, will be offended if I don't receive their love in return, but also won't trust their word when they say that they love me back. I definitely need to work on this !! 🙈
The video was AWESOME! The only thing I couldn’t entirely relate to (but I know a lot of other 2’s probably struggle with it can relate to it) was the one about there maybe being an ulterior motive. For some reason with me, I never try to guilt them into doing something with me or for me or make them feel like they have debt, like I may feel upset when I feel my loved ones won’t accommodate their time for me especially when it seems like I’ve helped out in a lot of different ways for them and given them my all, but personally I always want them to make their own decisions as it makes me feel special when they choose me without me having to express my efforts. So rather than being satisfied that they changed their mind feeling like they owe me, I would say “no, do what you were gonna do to begin with,” as I never want to feel like I’m a second choice. I want them to do it because they want to, not because I’ve done so much for them. BUT I do know that’s a common thing for a 2 with what you displayed in the vid! Great video & mostly accurate representations for me😊👏
Thanks for sharing your perspective, Emily!! I really appreciate it. I am definitely over-generalizing the enneagram 2 in this video so I apologize if I misrepresented with the ulterior motive one. I definitely think that can be more of a trait for a 2 in times of stress rather than a 2 who is in optimal health. Thanks for your support and comment on the video! ♥️
I love this but would love if folks stopped referring to an enneatype under stress as “unhealthy”. While I see some unhealthy behaviors and reactions from each enneatype, I think it’s important try to refrain from calling folks “unhealthy”. Heavy word, I guess.
Isn't the word also accurate, though? (I mean the question, as I don't really know the enneagram so well) If so, what good does it do to not call the problem by its name? The last thing unhealthy needs is validation, and the last things an unhealthy person needs are enablement and more excuses. They're known for being too good at creating those already.
I don't think the levels of Enneagram health have much to do with how much stress you're currently experiencing. They seem to be a mixture of whether or not you happen to be a psychopath (at the very lowest level per type), which most people are not, and more commonly just your self-awareness and whether or not you have regular access to coping mechanisms other than the ones associated with your Enneagram style. If high stress were synonymous with low Enneagram "health", then everyone experiencing extreme distress, e.g. suicidality, would act like the descriptions of the lowest level of health for their E type by the time they reach that point, using their type's strategy in its worst form or believing their core fear most strongly. Most suicidal people don't, in fact, suddenly become like that if they weren't already. That's because most people's extreme distress doesn't have anything to do with the Enneagram, but with medical problems like endemic depression, or poverty and fear of homelessness due to under-supported invisible disabilities or a terrible economy and abusive family, things like this which have nothing to do with your personality. Whereas, the people who do act like their type in the lowest level of Enneagram health, act that way even when not in extreme distress. They don't know or haven't habitualised any better way to interact with the world in just normal daily life, because as children, the nature of either their unhealthy socialisation or long-term mental illness, didn't allow them to learn those skills when most of their peers did. So they have some catching up to do as adults, often requiring professional guidance because rewiring an already developed brain is not like flipping a switch.
NAHHHHHHH this is so me 😭🙏 I’m actually SHOCKDDD… I somehow ALWAYS end up crushing on boys who have no friends and seem sad and lonely and misunderstood so I can be there to “fix them” or “save the day” 😭 Also I have to admit I can sometimes passive aggressively guilt trip them a bit to hang out with me or do things for me by making them feel like they r in debut to me😭
The first thing I did when I got married was change my email to my husband's nickname's wife. That was 14 years ago. I have never thought about that being my twoness in action until this video! XD
i love your videos so much! could you do a video on how to be a healthy enneagram 3 from being unhealthy? or other enneagram types! (i hope you get what i mean :)) ❤️ love from the Philippines 😆
I think Twos would do much better if they were more careful about choosing friends/romantic partners who understand reciprocity. Who would get upset if they were the only person giving in a relationship?
I have learned more about myself in the last few hours watching your videos than I ever have in my entire life thank you ❤ i’m between a 2 and a 9 somewhere…
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Can someone please help me figure out if I am a enneagram 2. When listening to all of the 2s core desires and fears and everything I relate a lot to the feeling of wanting to be needed and doing things and hoping in return people will appreciate or do something for me back. When it comes to that I think I am a two but I also feel like I don’t overextended myself to help people. Of course if someone ask for help I’ll do it but I feel like I am not a regally really helpful person. It might be becuase I am only in high school but idk. I also feel like I get into conflicts sometimes. I read somewhere that 2s never say no but I feel like with my family I almost always don’t want to do what they ask like empty the dishwasher or clean my room. I read a few books on all the different types and I don’t really feel like I match any of the other core desires and fears but idk. Anything would help. Also maybe I am a 2w3.
I'm just learning about this now too! I would say try to ask yourself, if you didnt do all the lovely things you do for those around you, do you think they would care or love you less? :O That is my fear... that Im only loved because I'm useful
SAME I'm a 2w3 and I feel the same way BUTT I do comprehend with the core fears ,desires and shit ANNND I dont really serve ppl in any way either but like I'm ALWAYYS there for ppl if they need someone to vent, comfort and shit ITTS just whenever i know someone's upset i try comfort them and all LIKEE even if they're not close to me or anything I feel like I should