ENNEAGRAM Type 4 | Annoying Things Fours Do and Say 

What’s your favorite thing about enneagram 4’s? Mine is their capacity for unbelievable emotional depth and human connection.

I read that the 4’s sin of envy is not about stuff. It’s about being overwhelmed by the world and how others seems to function better. I resonate with that more than envying “things”

Seeing so many 4s in the comments is making me feel less special. How very 4 of me.

"Enneagram 4s can sometimes disappear and go radio silent for days." Or months... or years... been there and it wasn't pretty.

I'm a four. Totally relate to the part where she says "He's so cute, I'm imagining our whole life together...he doesn't know I exist yet". Lmao

I cracked up. I’m a 4. Lol. The one I don’t resonate with is the victim/manipulation. I actually withdraw and go silent when I’m hurting but I’d never manipulate someone to make them feel sorry for me to hang out with me. I also despise manipulators and can spot one from a mile away. All the rest I was dying. 😂

I'm a 4 and I heard this and resonate with it: I don't get overly envious but I do find that I consider myself unique and "better" but at the same time envy others' popularity or ease of fitting in. So it's a lot of feeling like too much and not enough at the same time!

The envy thing is SO true! Lately I haven't been able to enjoy performances, b\c a part of me is jealous of the performers for being so talented.

My self absorbed self FEELS SO CALLED OUT RIGHT NOW TELL ME IM AM LOVED AND NEEDED

3:17 *flashes back to when I randomly stopped talking to all my online friends for 8 months*

I'm a 4 and I catch myself in the manipulation thing, but it's more like being really quiet or making small, subtle remarks so that the other person will seek me out. It's when I'm at my most unhealthy. Definitely trying to work on it!

In a grocery store one day, a handsome man asked me where to find something. I told him. He smiled, thanked me, and walked away. My immediate thought: "Wow, we can tell our grandchildren that this is how we met." Not saying I'm a 4, but...

I feel like Type 4 goes hand in hand with INFP. It's me. I'm the Virgo INFP Type 4.

I'm such a four that when I read comments from other fours, I think, "ah you probably don't understand me either". Ooooh boy.😬

The beginning with the record player “Close your eyes and listen to this” and moving the hand with the music- THAT IS ME 100000%!!

I definitely think about going radio silent everyday 😂

I felt this, yet on a deeper level than most people could ever possibly understand.....

got called out on the overly happy people one, honestly just can't stand it.

OMG, the relationship part where they find their soulmate every week. I have literally had interventions about this. Also the silence for days. Also the not enjoying the ordinary moments.

4w5, I legit lost a side job, got in a car wrecked and broke up with a girlfriend in one day. Plus saw coco in theaters. 😆

I feel attacked...but very accurate. ugh.

As a 4 I feel like I’d rather be deprived of what I know I need from a person, than manipulate them.

This one is really great too! One of my dearest friends is a 4 and her drive to feel special shows up in just about everything she does. She has 7 kids, she home-schooled all 7 though high school, she cooks amazing meals and desserts for her family and friends....90% from scratch! She excels in artistic expression, being a quilter, crotchet-er, knitter, scrapbook-er, teacher, yoga instructor, adventurer traveler, an avid reader and expressionist painter....all at the same time AND while being her quadriplegic brother's primary caretaker! Seriously...no exaggeration...not even a little bit. Whatever subject she decides to pursue, she will master it and do it in a way that is either exceptional or at minimal, different. She abhors "status quo" and naturally and unconsciously moves to stand out in order to avoid being even remotely connected to that phrase. She's a role model for so many and a sense of awe follows her, but those without a good sense of self often feel intimidated and insignificant in comparison while some view her as a "braggadocios know it all." Knowing her back story lends itself to understanding, compassion, and empathy around her need to feel special. I am always enamored by her ability to simultaneously do what she does without being burnt out way more often then she actually is; however, feeling special (along with her type 3 secondary drive) keeps her melancholy moods to a minimum and keeps her sense of joy elevated by her natural ability to first notice and point out the beauty and uniqueness in others as well as in her surroundings.

About the melancholy thing... I usually explain it to people as a feeling of "longing for a home that I have never known". It's been a major thing in my life, not gonna lie.. xD Usually just comes and goes and when happens I have teach people around me to not push much the issue by saying: "Today I feel soft.." Funny vid btw, I relate a lot to basically everything XD

I was told about Enneagrams for the first time today, so I went and took a test, and I'm 98% a type 4. I don't outwardly act like your caricatures, but I definitely feel those things inside. I think I must understand how crazy they'd make me sound, so I just keep it to myself, though ironically, the fact I feel like I can't be freely open about those feelings just makes me feel even more melancholy.

I’m a 4 and I’ve never felt more seen and exposed. The pumpkin spice bit was PERFECT. If it’s popular, you can almost guarantee I’m not into it or doing it. I’ve always been that way. In college I had a writing assignment on Blackboard and a majority of the class chose to answer one question. I answered another and was one of the only, if not the only, person to do so simply because “everyone else answered the other one.” Wave your freak flag high 4s!

The radio silence is the most accurate thing ever. It's never about intentionally ignoring people that you care about, it's about getting the emotional and mental space that you need to breathe. Great video!

You had me at "4's have a hard time being around overly happy people." I cannot stand it!! I feel like it's so fake and obnoxious, but that's probably just me being in the throws of my sulky moodiness.😂

You described 4's envy in such interesting way, because it isn't about what the other person has, but what she feels and it's crazy! lol

Girl: "It's Monday!!! Happy Monday!!!" Me: Shuuuuuuuut uuuuuuuupp *sips imperfect coffee*

"No no no, I don't want yours. I just want mine to be as good as yours." Yep, I've thought/said this...uhhh...more than once. :P I also frequently go radio silent. I blame my w5. :D

just 4 things: reading comments from other fours and feeling jealousy that so many people relate to you lmao

Omg I didn’t think this would be as accurate as it was. I feel attacked 😂

I don’t approve of the accuracy >_> How dare you be absolutely right

I’m a 4 and a 7, I can relate with a lot of these, but I when I go through something I actually never tell people about it because I don’t want to burden people with my problems, so I just withdrawal from everyone and everything... and in relationships, I don’t really jump from person to person either. I’m actually usually the one who scolds my friends for jumping from guy to guy.

Yep that's about right.....getting lost in art and music, radio silence and soooo over anything basic. I'm definitely a 4.

I’m a 4 and the envy thing really resonates with me! It makes sense as to why I literally can’t do social media. I always have this fear of FOMO and feel like everyone has a better life than me even though logically I know that’s not true. But I just can help the way I “feel” when I see everyone else’s life. I always feel lacking.

"can be radio-silent." Me: *remembering that time when I didn't speak to the whole class for two weeks* 😶

I'm a 4 but as I've gotten older I've been able to tune down some of my negatives. But I'm in love with the Enneagram because it helps me accept, understand, and love myself and others. Thanks for the fun videos!

My daughter is SUCH a 4! I'm a 5, so I often struggle with her big feelings, but I love that she has such a unique perspective on things and always has creative ideas.

im a 4 and i feel like this is totally correct i am always wanting something that someone else has wether it’s based on looks, possessions, money, or wisdom.

Yup, I’m a four and I about fell over laughing at the way you presented this!! Keep It up!

I don’t feel envy; I just wish I had a gift of my own. I mean... there are so many amazingly talented people out there who are like characters you’d read in a book, yet I feel like I’d be a background character no one notices in said book.

I think I am better at analyzing my personality than my psychologist.

Im a 4 wing 5 and guilty as chargeddddd!!!!

That Jon guy sounds like a real winner 😏

The first one about Carl unfriending her and how she’ll never have friends again 🤣🤣. Recently whenever I get into a misunderstanding with a friend i immediately jump to “I’m not meant to people. I’m just gonna back off from EVERYONE “ it seems like the most logical answer at the time 🤣🤣

I was laughing at the moment, when you mentioned “having hard times being to super positive people “😂😂😂it’s soooooo me. I thought it’s not normal 😝

Welp, imma need to send this to literally everyone if they wanna be my friend cuz this was wonderfully light-hearted and fabulously accurate.

This video is so funny, now I’m not that sad about my weird enneagram type😅

I'm four and I realized how melancholy am I.... oftentimes I imagine my life as a movie scene 😂 but I love how "melancholy" can also means "have a deep feeling"

I'm an embodiment of an unhealthy enneagram 4 so much that it hurts thinking about it •I have internalized superiority complex that is why I thrive for authenticity and uniqueness •I'm really unaware of the fact that I'm manipulating people and victimizing myself •Really prone to jealousy like when I see my friends having fun without me I get so emotional and overthink about how worthless I am and it's not just friends but also talented people as well especially those who share the same interest as mine and the fact that they are still newbies but are performing better than me is so infuriating •I really hate succumbing to trends because I feel like I'm settling for mediocrity

3:34 "have a hard time being around overly happy people" - YES! I like to call it "freudenschade," deriving misery from somebody else's joy. (I *think* I made that up...I dunno...it's supposed to be the inverse of schadenfreude). What it is for me is that certain personality types seem to want you to be on the same emotional wavelength as them, so when they're all happy-happy-joy-joy, they expect you to do likewise and it's exhausting.

You may look at me and think "7!" but youd be wrong im an SP 4w3 wing the countertype to end all countertypes

I'm type 5 wing 4. So all of these is literally me. I love melancholy and melodrama that people think I'm depressed. I enjoy sad songs or sad movies or sad dramas more (I also like horror and thriller genre because I can watch them being terrified and angry) And I'm currently living far far away from my family but I only talk to them once a week or sometimes once a month. Not only from my family but also from everyone who knows.

Yeah this was definitely bang on. Only exception is I keep most of this inside my head, and I dont care to maintain too many relationships all in all. But that is likely the 5 wing. This was perfect ! I especially resonated with number 5 6 and 7...I loved the happy people comment. I definitely need to work on not being an unhealthy type 4. Good job.

Abbey I love your humor in this! And your analysis is right on!

Your video made me laugh! I am a enneagram four. I definitely do the radio silent for days and sometimes it can be weeks. ( Not something I am always proud of, its usually when I am being critical of myself and feel flawed. I was paying attention to whether or not I can be emotionally manipulative..but maybe. I hate thinking of myself like that though. As for dating many people and not being satisfied.... I have been married to my high school sweet heart for 13 years. I think its the hopeless romantic in me..though I can definitely struggle with the " Maybe there is better out there." It is incredibly annoying because I love my husband, but somehow I struggle with reality lol . It is interesting that I always hear people say that fours don't like to be around happy people. It depends I don't mind some optimism when I get really low. The only time happy people are annoying is when..they seem to have no off switch to their energy. Or they can't handle when I"m in my serious moods. I do smile and can be cheerful and happy though. I think its a stereotype that fours are only serious all of the time. Last thing hah... Your interpretation of how we listen to music cracked me up. I literally do that everyday. It is weird to me that most people don't really feel the music. I am always saying to my husband " Can't you just feel this.. the feelings..the mood?" lol. Songs with the feels are my favorite. Its hard to describe what music feels like when we get really into it. My husband actually described it in sort of a good way. He was looking at me weird one day as I was doing my usual wake up with music and dance like a weirdo. I asked him " What do you think it feels like when I listen to music." Probably a weird question but I wanted to hear his interpretation or perception of my being in his reality. I guess I kind of wanted to reflect on his world. He said " I think the way you get happy and get deep into your music is like when I am enjoying figuring out and unfolding a video game." It was a weird perception to me, but I valued it. I think he meant , how people feel when they are passionate and fully engulfed into the things they love . that feeling they get. That feeling of the world stops and your'e not aware of many things anymore. All you feel, hear , and see is passion. That probably sounds ridiculous. Anyway sorry for the long message. I really enjoyed your video. I always appreciate seeing the world through someone else's perception. Thanks for sharing.

The part about being bothered by overly happy people really really resonated lol just seems so in genuine to me haha

I don’t understand, I’m a 4 and while I feel deep sadness for the entire world, and I love sad music, sad art, and anything that conveys a strong emotion, I’m actually one of THE most positive and happy people I know.

I’m a 4, and I’ve watched this a couple of times just because it makes me feel so “seen.” 😅🤣 it’s so spot on!

Love these videos. I'm a four and totally relate. Now to go be by myself for a week after this small dose of human interaction...

I’m an enneagram 4, and I remember back in 2018, when I was depressed, I went absolutely creative and did a bunch of stuff, and you know what? I felt better.

Imma 4 it’s ironic because I’m a very happy person. So the thing about not liking overly happy people throws me every time but I can kind of understand it because I do feel weird around people who smile really hard all the time and I just get the feeling that they are hiding some deep not-so-happy truth. My mom instilled gratefulness in me and I’m a devout Christian and so gratefulness has really been my saving grace as a four. I have learned that conforming a bit helps make friends and then I can show my crazy once we are friends, does t make me any less special to tone it down till appropriate 😁

Omg this was hysterical... and... relatable 😬🤦🏻‍♀️

I laughed through the whole thing. 😂 I’m a 4 wing 3. Unbelievably funny. I will say I do like basic things though so I can’t relate to the last part. 🙈🤣

I’m usually the only 4 in a room, but this comment section is filled with my PEOPLE❤️❤️

this is the 2nd of your type 4 videos i've watched, and the accuracy feels like being hit by a bus (of facts.) the withdrawn coping style, the "i just have a lot of feelings." it's like you can read my mind o.O

Just found you! You are HILARIOUS!

I feel called out af 😂

I am a 4w5 and your videos on 4 are the best and most accurate I have found. Other videos I have found on other channels show type 4 spinning around in Disneyworld, everything is said in a dreamy and ridiculously dramatic way. Yes, I definitely have some of those qualities but absolutely not would I ever be in a public place dancing and spinning around while reciting poetry.

"I dont want yours, I just want mine to be as good as yours" I felt that so deep (yikes but lol)

Very funny observations. And the host is quite charming! Keep it up!

No 5 is very true my Enfp 4w5 friend. I cant get answer from her 5/6+ days sometimes. And yes she is related to sad things sends my sad photos... 😃 but also she can be overly happy. My wing is 4 and Im=critical, unique side.

Omg. You didn't have to call me out like that. This is way too accurate 😂

This is so relatable!!!! Every single one of them. Except when it comes to me and coffee. I always think my coffee is more superior to the other person's.

Thanks for making amazing enneagram content, I am a 4 and everything is so true.

Omg I am dying. This is exactly me! Thank you!

I feel like a trifecta of emotions. - Cancer, 4, and INFJ

The dissatisfaction is so true. It took me 20 years to realize there is no “better place” to get to, it’s a made up place in my head that I’ll never reach.

I am a 4, and 6 out of 7 of these are accurate lol

I can relate to all of this haha thanks for the laugh at myself.

This is the most relatable video I have ever watched in my whole life...

I’m an Enfp type four so it is emotional chaos all the time. I switch from enthusiastic and energetic to hating the world in like 5 second

Lol im a 4, so true but this is very unhealthy to average 4s. We have lots of inner work to do 😂. That said this girl is a total 6. They talk, think fast and run on anxiety. Lets see a video on them too 😂😂 most common enneagram types on the planet.

My response at 3:10 would be; “I hope the coffee table is ok.” I don’t play into being manipulated.

lol the sippy sip part with the annoyed face is me.... ITS ME, why am i like this

Wow, I have to be honest, I was skeptical at the very beginning... then I watched it. You're SO right! I was cracking up it was so true.

all these are true I love it so mcuh

I'm a four and love everything pumpkin spice and yes... My sister is annoyingly a overly happy person

This is literally the only accurate enneagram channel I have found so far I am 4 and laughed so hard at this

The radio silence is me, every time I’m overwhelmed, at least twice a month….. >___>

I'm not sure if I've ever met a healthy E4 yet, since all the other ones who are closest to me have always been immature or have a lack of self-awareness lol #3,4, and 6 makes it very difficult for me to get along with them in the long term and I'm the one who winds up fading out from the friendship because of it... Aside from that though, I highly value their emotional authenticity and hope they could see themselves the way others who admire them do!

Rhetorical Q1: Who hasn't said, "Just close your eyes and listen to this..." after discovering some great 'ambient space music tracks'? But I guess the act of discovering some great 'ambient space music tracks' for the purpose of tuning out the whole wide world is the kinda thing a four would do. LIMH! (Laughing In My Head!) Reminding my seven wife of the first time I said that to her made her LOL, though. Okay. I'm clearly a four and I'm good with that. Q2: Do you really answer all the comments?!?

I'm a four and I effin love it. I hate it too sometimes, but I feel everything so much more than many other people...the good times are just HEAVEN.

the victim thing is so true for me. in every argument i also make it seem like i’m the victim weather or not i want to

I’m a 4, and this is extremely accurate!

as always, great video, and i think i may be an enneagram 4 but mostly not completely, like the radio silents part, i didnt know that was a thing other people did, and youe especially cute with a starbucks straw in your nose, Singer

😂 I was laughing at myself watching this. But as a 4w5, the only one I'm envious of is myself - call it potential for self-improvement 😳

Amazing! I've been exploring the enneagram for a few months and had narrowed my type down to 3w4 or 4w3. The opening segment with the record player is the most accurate depiction of me I've ever seen. Thank you for settling that! :D