Enneagram: What Is It Like To Be An 8 

So helpful! Trying to embrace being an 8 and this helped. Female 8s especially get judged so much for things if men did them, there would be no issue but we don't fit female stereotypes.

I’m an eight, and agree with almost all of this- except I return carts- because it’s the right thing to do. Courtesy for all 😉

I liked it, up until the end. Wasn’t really feeling the whole “if you work a minimum wage job...” I’m a huge believer that despite what role we play in society we should treat people fairly. I’m the person that goes out of their way to return their cart because it’s my responsibility to return the cart. I realize that perhaps in no other forum would I go so in depth about this, but where else would it be understood? LOL

Omg! As a female 8 it’s hard! I’ve found myself in that unhealthy state of 5 for the majority of my life. There’s always so much push back for our intensity and knowing what/how to do something, but if we were males it would be received as leadership and assertiveness. I also have a type 8 ENTP dad, so I grew up almost not seeing gender roles. The outside world is not so receptive... moat and drawbridge is so legit it hurts! Dr LaHue and Grace, thank you for your channels! Your videos are helping me heal and grow!! I’ve been watching all your videos for 8s, and headed into the other enneagrams after so I can see others better.🙏🏻👍🏻😊

You and your daughter are awesome. What a wonderful presentation of a 8. Most RU-vid video on 8 paint them in such a bad light. I like the straightforwardness of the 8 you always know where you stand with them.

UGH yes! JUST TELL THE TRUTH. We can all save so much time and energy if you just tell the truth up front. 🙄

I would say fairness is more important to me than playing by the rules unless those rules create fairness for everyone and skirting the rules gives someone an unfair advantage. Cuz rules that don't make any sense, don't make any sense and I don't feel compelled to follow them. But fairness and honesty are important.

Don’t ignore the ENTP aspect. They are the debaters. Her MBTI plays a huge role in her 8 Enneagram.

This is hilarious and very helpful! I'm part of your tribe, Grace! I'm a social 8w7, and loved the way you put so much of what was said! :D

It is the best description of a 8, that I could hear.

thanks for your videos! a counselor turned me on to the enneagram 10 years ago, and I'm a big fan. my mother was an (often unhealthy) 8, I'm an (often unhealthy) 4, and there was a lot of pain and incompatibility. but I turned her onto the enneagram before she died, and I'm glad I did that, because she said that in discovering her type, she felt understood and validated for the first time in her life. cut to the present, and my daughter is an (often unhealthy) 8. I often feel like I'm parenting my mom lol. the enneagram has helped a lot, but just recently I started diving deeper, and bringing my husband along, and he commented that our recent investigations have helped more than all the family counseling we've been doing. I'm healing the reactivity that comes up for me around parenting my daughter, which makes me a better mom, and in so doing, I'm healing some old wounds around my mom. love this stuff.

I just learned about enneagrams and I believe I'm an 8--my fiance is the epitome of a 9 and we were cracking up on how accurate your descriptions of a 9 are. He never cares for astrology or any other personality profiles I try to show him, but 9 really resonated with him! Glad to know 8 females and 9 males go well together :)

LOL I identify as an 8, and instead of saying, "Cut the crap", I typically say, "...And...?" Implying, what's your point?

So my way of telling someone they are my friend is "You and I know that we can call each other up late at night and say 'I need help making and hiding a corpse.'" Total mafia culture (also from NJ originally, so a little cultural too.)

as a fellow 8 (also called grace ) i completely relate to everything that was spoken about especially about anger and blame, i was actually shocked by how completely accurate this video was!

Hi Grace, wow, excellent video on 8's....for me. You voiced lots of stuff that is so natural in me that it was fun to listen and feel that energy of no compromise or deceit acceptable from people in your life! Since I have a 9 wing it's also very true about that comfort thing. I also experience lots of psychosomatic body pain. One thing not mentioned is shame though. I feel shame when I have lost my temper or not met my own high standards and principles.

As a 9w1, the thing about leaving shopping cards in the middle of the parking lot drove me up the wall!

Now in my mid 50s and just finding the Enneagram but I see so much of myself in you when Was your age! Live life to the fullest. Use all your God given power for His glory.

I thought it was just me... thank you so much for bringing up the 3 vs 8 thing... I have a lifelong history of clashing with 3s

Your daughter is an ENTJ for sure. My oldest daughter is also an ENTJ, also an 8. Great vids, thank you both for sharing.

Im a Type 8 on Enneagram and ENTJ on Myers Briggs. Both are pretty accurate description of my personality imo

8: say what you mean, mean what you say. I’m a 7w8 and I really appreciate Grace and people like her. 👏

Not how i see the world, and i am an 8. I dont rank humans, i dont live by screw the rest. I have deep love for all, and compasion.

I just found your channel and am binge watching! Love this exchange because I am your daughter. Hi, Grace. 8w7 and ENTP on MB. Love your personality bc it’s so me from pushing through and being able to connect with people through enneagram is so important. My relationships with friends and my husband have grown stronger. I love how you mentioned moving to five for stress. Because I happen to have married a five 🤣 and we have such a healthy wonderful marriage. If there’s any types that pair so well together for an 8 woman, I’d applaud type fives. My husband helps me slow down and process things and I’ve been able to do it so much more since we discovered enneagram. And I’ve been able to help activate him and draw him out of his shell. His tritype is 529 and he was raised by mostly women so does very well in a house full of females 😂. Would love to see more from Grace and how she’s dealing with life as a strong female. And love how you affirmed her that she’s not mean. Wonderful time watching!!!

Those minimum wage workers are carrying us on their backs during this pandemic now. lol

I would LOVE to hear how her and her husband met and fell in love. I'm a 9 who is interested in a type 8..

Thanks to both of you I've learnt im not an 9w8 who is very in touch with anger and directness but am 8w9. Everything clicked in place. My childhood experiences. My desire to create a strong got it together image. The undercurrent of agitation. The thing that threw me is im an INFJ dude. So having this cognitive process with the 8w9 fear and desires was all so contradictory. Ive never meet anyone like me. Patient but impatience. Warm but cold. Stoic as and deeply spiritual. At times explosive rage, usually at environment rather than people but it happens. Extremely independent. Like to the max. Stong SP instinct. My partner is ENFP 9 so we go together like pb and j.

Oh my gosh! Cutting people out and getting over stuff really easy! That is me!! The other stuff too but those two I hadn’t heard yet. I’m also very passionate about “my people!” I enjoyed hearing from both u and your daughter. 😊

I’m an 8w7 subtype possession. My best friend is also an 8w7 but her subtype is self pres. Anyway, I find it really cool and very interesting that I can hear the energy in your voice. I’ve never heard my friends voice in this way but I hear it in yours and mine. Thanks for the great video it’s cool to see other 8w7 women out there! ♥️

Haha interesting! I’m an INTP 7w8, so I was curious what an 8 female is like. As an enthusiast, I can come off very bubbly and friendly, but also a “thinker” and wing 8, I can be VERY direct. It’s not about feelings, it’s about the truth haha. ALSO, this path of finding truth lead me to Jesus 🙌🏼

Thanks, you guys, for the video! It's awesome to see an ENTP 8. It helped me, especially since I'm also an ENTP, to finally confidently see what an enneagram type looks like on a person without worrying that it's just them or who/whatever typed them confusing it with how their mbti type (whether they know what it is or not) affects them.

My husband is an 8, and now that I know this, it makes sense why we're married. He'd never be able to be with a woman who can't challenge him to his core!

Lord hunni, one of my daughters is an 8w7 and that little woman is something else🤣🤣🤣!! A real go getter, very independent as she pays all her own bills while she’s in college, she was working 2 jobs while in school but now she can’t because she’s doing her labs and clinicals which is taking up most of her time. I’m a 7w8 and the both of us are brutally honest and I definitely can be cut throat to some if need be. My daughter and I have definitely had our days because she can come off really selfish towards everyone in the house and since my son was 4 years old, she always treated him as if she hated him which absolutely angered me.. He is 13 now and it’s only gotten a little bit better due to me staying on my butt, but me and her have definitely fell out about my son. I don’t treat them any differently but when my son was 4, he sprayed her new TV with some cleaning spray, and I do mean he hosed it down🤣🤣🤣!! Every since then, she has been different towards him. I am Free Spirited and she sometimes questions me about why I left my Federal Government Job to be self employed🤯!! Throwing out her opinions as if I had asked for them.. Soooo, I have had to check her on that a few times as I told her that, everyone isn’t the same! Just because you are comfortable and content with what you’re doing doesn’t mean that I should be doing the same.. I stop working there due to the demands and forced deadlines that I was pressured to meet with long hours daily from home and away from my son who is still in school. Plus the job had took a major toll on my mental health so I made to right decision. I also tell her to stop questioning what everyone else does and stay focused on your own career because what’s meant for you may not be meant for everyone else and openly throwing your opinions out there about how other people are living are their choices of profession can come off as if you think you’re better than others if they don’t know you like that.

This was such a wonderful video. I loved to see your interaction together and how proud you were of Grace’s interpretation and style and her spunkiness! 😊 This really opened my eyes up to the great qualities of an 8 - Grace really embodies them all: strength, courage and awareness. I’m a 9 and can see why most of my long-term friends are 8w9, 9w8, or 8w7, and why I have a strong aversion to 3’s, lol 😂. Thank you both again for the video ✨

As an eight this might be the best depiction of an eight yet. Even the cart scenario...too good. The Maffia thing I’m not so sure about because I am not a team player. So I’m thinking about that one. But I’m so glad I ran across this video. Loved it.

What a great authentic conversation! So real, helpful and enjoyable! Thank you so much!!!

I am INTP, and i think MBTI is precious too, And i dont care if i am the second lowest on payment. My test on enneagram is 5, 99%, 3, 86%, 1, 81%, 4 and 6, 73% and 8, 77% But type 8 is really describe me so well. The cut the crap, the protective side of type 8. But i learn so much from MBTI too,, I have suspicion INTP is the sleeping ENTJ And type 5 is the sleeping Type 8.

This! I learned about the enneagram in my church small group and with my girlfriend’s (at the time) family. In both circles I was already the outlier (from WI in MN, the only Republican, etc) and learning I was an 8 felt like there was a concrete reason I shouldn’t be let in. I’m a former Army Officer and Combat Veteran and I am working through a lot of things to become healthier. This video definitely helps me with the added weight of the Enneagram 8 diagnosis. Thanks so much, God Bless!

When a certain someone was elected president I screamed at the TV a lot!!! Hubby was like why are you so mad? And that floored me…..I wasn’t mad, just passionate about my view😂

I feel ya Grace!!!! I'm a female 8 and I was totally tracking right along with you. LOL. And laughing... because I'm nodding my head with you too.

I am a 3 and my husband is an 8w7. This rings SO true for us! We get along beautifully, but the deceit/betrayal dynamic has come into play more than once, and I really have had to learn to be full transparent.

how do I say this??? I identify as ENTP and 8W7 last I took the test which was before some other transformational work I've done... just as a reminder to those that know or for those that do not - enneagrams can change as a result of growth and shifts personally. The origin of Enneagram in the situational side of how we come to be, our past traumas, our "baggage" from our family of origin, culture, socio-economic status shapes and molds what numbers we show up as. Its not fixed and hopefully more and more people do the work to break free of the framework (although its still useful) and get to a higher level of living a created life. I see MBTI representing a solid framework (and generally missused for reasons and justifications of other self limiting beliefs) to help identify your native way of processing the world.... thats about it. any other forms of identity that comes from the use of the frameworks are just more things you're adding to your personal identity to either A. look good/Not look bad or B. camp out in your fixed way of thinking.

Fantastic! I'm an 9 and my wife is an 8. Thanks for the video! Very enlightening and helpful for our family dynamics.

omg , thank you for this video, I thought i was the only one reacting like thiss, thank you, this make a lot or sense now.

Wow! Thank you for sharing this. It helps so much in relating to the wonderful 8 in my life.

INTJ Type 8. My life is a complete contrast. My poor wife is always wondering which one she's going to get.

As a 50yo female 8 I’m howling and laughing. I can’t imagine wanting to be anything else.

this is hilarious! I'm an 8 myself... can totally agree with ALL of this! the other catch phrase for an 8 is "have you lost your mind??"

I'm a 3 my husband is an 8! It can be brutal sometimes!

I'm an ENTJ. It's not as great as you think, lots of stereotypes, and being a woman I get misunderstood a ton (talk about mean and not fun? Lol I love ENTP's). Pretty frustrating. I think I threaten, confuse, and annoy a lot of people because I'm constantly thinking outside and/or above the rat maze, if that makes sense. It's hard to help others see what I see so I have to use a lot of strategy and patience (the patience part is a life lesson, wasn't born with it), but I get sh!+ done, so there's that. I'm an 8 too, thanks for this talk 👍

This is an interesting duo. Love the videos im an enfp 8w7social

SO rude and disrespectful not to push the cart back. Have you ever worked a minimum wage job or a retail job?

Great video! I too, being an 8, would like helpful tips on being married to a 9. Thank you for your time!

girl - im an eight and an ENTP too

That's funny about the mafia. I love Mafia stories, I respect the loyalty of the mafia, I read the book I Heard You Paint Houses, I sat through that 3 hour movie the next day. I read The Godfather when I was 13, I watched the documentary on Donnie Brasco. I can see right through Donald Trump. There might be something to this haha. I admit, I don't always return my shopping cart to the corral but I do usually grab one from the parking lot when I'm walking in. We have a minimum wage because there should be a minimum below which companies and corporations are not able to go, because if they don't have to pay a minimum, they will pay low wages. We've learned that throughout history.

My name is madison I’m the odder daughter of three in my family as well and my middle name is grace and I felt her so much in all this video.

I've just learned about the enneagram in the last 2 years, I'm 56 and I type a 2w3. ( 2 7 9) When I encouraged my family and friends to complete the ennragram test and read about it, my oldest 31 year old son discovered that he typed an 8w7 ( 8 3 5). When he found out he was REALLY an 8, he feared he might possibly be a narcissist, but he reads the Bible and go to Church.. lol He's an ENTJ, although he thinks he's an ESTJ. He's in the very center between N and S. Anyways, he used to be very, very difficult to handle as a child, but we got through it with flying colors. And now he's a big time workaholic managing a large company and ioving his work,( and Church), just like an 8. I don't think 6oull ever see am unemployed 8. My son does the same thing in the parking lot too. His mindset on work and the minimum wage is exactly like yours also. He's a Republican too. Lol

I actually agree 1000% with everything to include the argument with the minimum wage and all of that. However, I always put my cart away though because depending on weather, me just leaving my cart out could scratch someone else’s car and if someone didn’t go put it away because they were being lazy and my property was damaged as a result. I’d be pissed. Otherwise, that was me to a T!

you need to type your mbti using cognitive functions, e8 is only compatible with Se doms (esxp)

This so interesting. Im new to enneagram but in the test I score like a 5, if you ask people around me for sure they`ll say I`m an 8 (probably a social 8), if you ask me I`ll say I`m a 9. My siblings are sexual 8`s, so I see myself as very calm and put together COMPARED to them. So what she just said resonates with me.

As an 8 through and through I do lie alot to manipulate or drive away from hurting people. So I feel it’s with reason but when people lie for stupid reason I get so angry. I used to feel like my lies protected my loved ones feelings about our relationship so am i still an 8 or another number all together

Parts of this are so funny! Great information!

And couldn't agree more about the truth thing. It bothers me to no end when people lie and I know the truth, especially my kids. Sneaking and lying about it bothers me so much. And my daughter is a 3 and that is the one thing we fight about. And she's only 9....

Actually, some surveys says that entps earn the highest incomes of all personalities, but only after their 40s. Which makes sense.

Great 👍 very I insightful

Hell yeah! Just cut the crap!!! I see through it anyway... Thank you so much for sharing with honesty, right now, I love you.

I desperately needed ro hear this. As a 2- mom with a 9 hubby. No wonder our 8- 15yo daughter likes him and not me! I wondered if you think it’s better for me to learn more about how to parent a 15 daughter or her to do some meet ups with grace!? Feedback welcome. I am longing for a better relationship and better family dynamics in our home. Do you have any videos. How to parent an 8? I couldn’t find any on your Chanel. Thank you ☀💛 dawn

if you use a cart, put it in the collection bin, that is the agreement you make when you borrow the cart.

I never look for "who is guilty" as an 8... I care first and foremost about how to fix the issue, but don't really care about finding the guilty. I don't even care about what went wrong, as much as I care about "what now?" How do you fix the problem?

As an 8, talking myself down is a daily routine. For example, when trying to be nice to someone I'll say "I'm trying so hard not to be an asshole right now but why would (insert that person) do (insert some dumb thing) and not be a complete idiot? Not talking about you....

Haha my brother is 8w7 ENTP and I loooooove him! My best friend is a 7w8 ENFP. Beautiful souls. I'm ISFJ 9w1

What MBTI is her husband? I'm an INFP 9 dating an ENTP 5 with lots of 8 energy. His tritype is 584. What is the 9's mbti? :) And what are your thoughts on tritype?

I am a very clear 8 and my boyfriend is a 9. So many times I have to take a second to rephrase what I was going to say or soften so that he doesn’t withdraw from the stress of conflict. And I think it’s funny the statement about 8 as kids, I would always notice when my sister wasn’t doing the dishes and tell my mom “Interesting. Guess it really isn’t a rule that we have to do the dishes. I guess when I get a boyfriend I won’t have to take care of the dishes either.. 😒”

ENTJ 8w7 so/sp 853 tritype. For a few years I self type ENTP, Idk what you mean about unflattering. ENTPs are geniuses. I disagree with the reflection after action part though. I tend to over analyse my behaviour, though it doesnt seem to help me in the moments of action *smh*... Regarding blame... I blame myself a lot as well because naturally all my outcomes are my responsibility. I do agree with most else... especially regarding being honest and staying angry at ppl, I just dont do it. It is aint that bad I will get infuriated and then let it go after I calm down... if it IS that bad, I rather cut them off completely.

Ah! I'm an ENTP 8 as well! Kind of hard being the way we are as females in our society.

Just out of curiosity, does Grace identify with a wing, if so what wing is she? I'm having the hardest time trying to figure out if I'm a 7w8 or 8w7. Everyone tells me to look at the motivations, but I feel like I identify with both.

ENTPs rock!

OK so I am an eight and the girl in the video seems weak or weaker than me… Could this be an instinctual variant difference? I am SX 8w7 ENTJ

I think I maybe a female 8. My wife is a 9w1. What I have discovered is that I expect my wife to read my mind because I refuse to tell her what I want. Lol. Do other female eights have this problem?

ey yo get in touch with La Familia, we wildin thru Europe

I’m an 8 and ENTP female as well.

1:44 I’m ENFP 7w8…I’d want to be an ESTP…I’m playing D&D as a Barbarian who’s 8w7 ESTP and I wish I could be her so bad….she gets so much done!!! Lol

for real on the TRUTH and not omitting details ... if you were to ask me what i did today ... as an 8 i could tell you by the min ...

haha oh I am soooooo an 8, it's like you know me!!!

I am just getting into learning about Enneagram. I know alot about MBTI. I am an ENTJ and now i know that I am an 8. Relate to most of what your daughter said. How common are 8's in the population and are more men that type than women? I know as an ENTJ female, we are quite rare.

“Hurricane party”…sooo 7! 😂

I’m actually building a mafia but it’s not for anything illegal.

I am a 7 (like you) married to a female 8. Can you please give me some advice and/or direct me to a video to help strengthen my relationship? Thank you!! @Dr. Tom LaHue

8 and 4? how they get along?

I'm entj

Can u do type 8 next on help for each enneagram

The way she expresses herself seems very Te based (Extroverted Thinking). Not sure she's ENTP. Maybe ESTJ? I guess it's possible she comes off as Te heavy because she's an Eight, but maybe she should take another look into her MBTI.

Agree with all your thoughts.

Wow I can see who was raised in privilege.

I really don’t think you’re an ENTp. Really look into the cognitive functions of ENTJ

I feel you. I’m a 8 wing 7 ENTP wanna be more 7 and ENTJ haha

I want a mafia too...

I am an infj 8w7 female....and I cannot find ANYTHING on it

She seems like such a healthy 8. My brother is an 8 and he is very unhealthy. He is practically impossible to be around.

I’m an 8w7 and an ENTP-T