feeling lost at 29… but it's okay

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My late 20s have been a confusing turmoil of emotions with abrupt changes, mental health struggles, existential thoughts, burning out, quitting the career I was building, and losing myself in the process. Now, at the age of 29, I feel lost.
Many of us find ourselves in this position over and over again throughout life, seeking some kind of clarity and direction. And this time I'm embracing it, for a change. So bear with me as I try to find myself again amidst all the uncertainty.
“The Fig Tree” from “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath:
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
🌸 / unlovelyrita
📖 / unlovelyrita
☕ Wanna donate a coffee? :)
ko-fi.com/unlovelyrita
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00:00 spring in Berlin
02:07 feeling lost
05:00 going away for a while
06:26 travelling with the kitties
08:27 do I regret quitting my job?
10:10 it's okay to feel lost
12:05 being indecisive
13:40 the fig tree
15:18 so...what's next?
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🎼 All songs in this video are from Epidemic Sound. Sign up for a 30-day free trial here: share.epidemicsound.com/y68fe0
📷 Equipment I use
camera: Fujifilm xt-4
lens: Fujifilm XF 18-55mm F1.8 & Fujifilm XF 23mm F2
microphone: Rode VideoMicro Compact On-Camera Mic
editing & color grading: DaVinci Resolve
feeling lost at 29... but it's okay | weekly vlog | berlin vlog
#berlinvlog #weeklyvlog #sliceoflife #feelinglost #LateTwentiesVlog

Опубликовано:

2 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 67

@asliguntan 2 месяца назад

This comment section is literally gonna make me cry. Like girls, thank you for being that supportive and open! While I was reading I felt like this is a safe place and I realized that wherever we are in the world we are going through similar issues in our lives.

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Indeed 😭🙏 everyone’s so kind and lovely 💛

@TheVanillaPress 2 месяца назад

Feeling lost at 49 🌸

@hibernace Месяц назад

Feeling lost at 36 🤷 :)

@Belluser-we1uc5cb2l 3 месяца назад

I just subscribed. What a relaxing video❤ I am 57 years old. I will be 58 and 2 months, and let me tell you. The biggest problem in our lives are toxic people that you need to cut off. And stay away from. You live your life the way you feel happy. You don't have to explain anything to anyone you are an adult. I was raised by very old world ways that my parents have brought me up, very dominating. They were controlling, you can't let them tell you how to live, or society.

@UnlovelyRita 3 месяца назад

Wise words 💛 I completely agree! Thank you so much

@patrick-aka-patski 2 месяца назад

I'd actually choose to live forever just to do all the things I have in mind, that are way to many for one single lifetime

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

That would be the dream! Hahah

@ceooflonelinessinc.267 2 месяца назад

I'm 34. I still live at home, have no education, never had a job, never had friends, have alway been bullied, have been rejected by every girl I asked out. I have been lost all my life

@GraciaVisscher01 2 месяца назад

What I've been discovering in the last couple years is I can save all the figs I want and eat them when I'm ready. I feel like I've had multiple chapters to my story where I could try on different things; going to university, doing film photography jobs, being a teacher, living in a new city, discovering more about myself every day. I don't think you need to choose, you just make a first step in trying the first fig. The others won't perish, I promise. Loved that passage of the book though! I'm 34 by the way, and have multiple figs still waiting for me: vanlife, living in another country, starting my own small cultural campsite, be an illustrator. All will come in time.

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Really well said! 💛 van life is something that’s been on my mind to try out too. Hoping I get to do that one day 🙏

@shvasighi3420 2 месяца назад

I am 26 (turn 27 soon) and its been2 months that i came to Germany for studying. I terribly feel lost and my social anxiety has become worse. I rarely come out of my room and really feel lost. Watching your video made my heart warm.

@Klara_is_finding_herself 2 месяца назад

I'm turning 33 this July, and I'm feeling lost. My whole life pretty much..

@KristenMelissa 2 месяца назад

I am in my 40s and still find this so relatable. When you said you have goals and dreams other than specifically career or children, I thought "Yes! Exactly!" It feels like society focuses in on those 2 things to determine if one is successful in life.. it's comforting to know I am not alone in having dreams, desires and lifestyle goals that don't fit perfectly into what is expected of us. Your videos are beautiful by the way! ✨️

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing and being here 💛🙏

@Catsnnovels 2 месяца назад

As a fellow 29 year old who feels lost and on a totally different life path from those around me, I found this video so relatable and comforting. I was within months of earning my bachelor's degree in a field that was making me miserable and I knew I had no interest in actually pursuing post university, so I pivoted and dropped out of the program, switching instead to a different one that starts in the fall. Even still, there's a ton of uncertainties and unknowns about how it will go, and meanwhile I see those my age around me making these major life accomplishments, and I'm nowhere near them in terms of my current life path. It's scary but I just remind myself that all in due time things will sort themselves out, and it's okay that my life doesn't seem the same as those I know, I am my own unique person with unique goals, interests, challenges, etc. We are all important human beings regardless on how similar or different our lives look from our peers, friends and family, and in many cases its so true that "comparison is the thief of joy" as they say. Take care! You'll get to where you need to be in time!

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

That’s awesome and really brave! 💪 wishing you all the luck in the new program ❤️ thank you so much for sharing

@itsScoots 2 месяца назад

Just found your video in my feed. I too turned 30 this year and I'm still chasing my fig tree, like you I applied for an internship but at a company related to art. I've applied to tens of dozens of studios and I finally received one that was interested in bringing me on, however, also like you they wouldn't be paying me, couldn't guarantee a position after the internship and due to the way production times worked they couldn't give me a definitive date meaning that I couldn't co-ordinate something apprioately with my current employer for time off. On top of all this it was also in a different city which I would have to temporarily move to and pay for rent and food all out of my own pocket. Long story short I didn't end up getting offered the internship in the end. Like you I feel lost and this experience didn't help but I choose not to give up hope though the older I get the more I feel like I'll never achieve my goals however varied they are. I hope you figure something out and that your future is rich and fulfilling too, we're all in it together no matter your age but maybe as you get older it gets easier to sit in that discomfort.

@CUOREyogaymasajes 2 месяца назад

feeling lost at 39!

@lemonmarzipan6330 3 месяца назад

Thank you for the The Bell Jar reminder 🥰 I am in my mid 40s and let me tell you , life is constant circle of change - change of pace , change of mind , change of career... You don't need to suss things out for yourself immediately , little clues along the way will show you :) ♥ from London ⭐

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Well said 💛 better to embrace the change. Thank you so much for the support

@DominikaDonchinka 3 месяца назад

Oh.. this resonate with me soooooo much right now.. I can’t even describe.. I’m in my early 30s but I feel lost as well.. weather it’s job and career wise, what I wanna do in my life where I wanna go,live, …. It’s sooo hard..and the most scariest thing for me is that time is passing by so quickly 😢

@UnlovelyRita 3 месяца назад

It is scary 😣 but I’m hoping we can find our way soon and come out of this strange phase stronger than ever 💪💪

@MsAquaDaffodil 2 месяца назад

I feel lost at 42

@genyag359 2 месяца назад

Feeling lost at 27 almost 28, thank you for making me feel less alone ✨

@MP-ut6eb 2 месяца назад

I'm 29 too (will turn 30 September 11), my life is a big ft mess and i'm so ashemed of describing it. But the good points are: 1 Will soon start a careern in mechanical engineering, always loved the field, always fascinated me, life has smashed me very hard in the head, literally but i'm still there. 2 "the smash in the head" is a CPTSD from a very abusing household, isolation, bullying and finally all the problems i've dealth with (depression, anxiety, social anxiety). At least i've found out what it was holding me back in life. Shared it for knowing you are not alone, have good luck! P.s We are late millenials, we are the first of this generation (late millenials/gen z) to hit the 30's wall, you will see in te future how hard it will be. Society is changing very fast and we are struggling as whole generation, some more, some less. Just my 2cents, see y!

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing 🙏 I’m sorry you went through all that. It’s always good to know we’re not alone 💛 wishing you all the best

@roser2058 2 месяца назад

what a treasure to have this video pop up, I am about to turn 26 and going through the same thing.

@liplana 3 месяца назад

Had this conversation with a friend a couple of days ago. About how society measures the human being by our jobs and our producticity. It's very common to hear "What's your job?" seconds later when meeting someone new. To me, it's very restrictive and dictates the narrative of the capitalist-always-on-the-grind world we live in (and take it as the "new" normal). Great video, Rita. New sub here. Kudos from Portugal ❣️

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

100%, I really dislike that question. Sadly, it’s such an automatic thing to ask in small talk interactions. I much rather know what hobbies a person has, what kind of books they read, etc. it tells me so much more about a person! The conversations seem to flow better too 😌

@danniefm 3 месяца назад

Thank you for opening up, Rita. I'm going through a similar phase and as I could relate to your situation, it made me feel less lonely and understood. ✨And what a lovely passage from "The Bell Jar", I have to read it!

@UnlovelyRita 3 месяца назад

Sending you love ❤️ I hope you enjoy The Bell Jar as much as I did 😌 the way books can have an impact on us is quite magical!

@silvertrees 3 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing your journey. I think your videos are so well done and I am pleased when a new one appears. You present your thoughts with intelligence and imagination. I liked your referencing Plath. As a woman in her 50's I am reminded of times in my life when I too felt lost. I still do have times when I feel that way, but less so now. Deciding to move on from one path and finding another is no easy task and does take time, and you are right there are many pressures today. As for the 'apprenticeship' - how cheeky! But I am sorry to say this is not uncommon here in the UK.... Anyway, I hope you will continue to make videos and reach a wider audience. Best wishes to you.

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much for the support 💛

@littleblueplanet222 2 месяца назад

I love this. I’m a creative person and I’m coming to realize I have multiple figs as well. Nothing wrong with it at all. They all play upon each other!

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Couldn’t agree more!! More figs means more curiosity for exploration, which I think it’s essential for creativity to bloom 🌼

@joeylameche 2 месяца назад

Relate to you about the family 'never ask' 🤣😂 So Nice that you put this out there, well done!

@TheLeaveTaking 3 месяца назад

Hi Rita, your video resonated with me in many ways. I think it's ok to feel lost for a time, and very courageous of you to admit it - and I think that one's late twenties/ early thirties can be especially hard. I wish you much success in finding your path :) also, "the bell jar" is amazing indeed - I remember being blown away when I read it. so so good. maybe I need to re-read it as well!

@UnlovelyRita 3 месяца назад

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

@amelier7589 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much for this 💕 I’m turning 29 this month and, although I’m currently writing my thesis, I have no idea what’s next. I’ve always felt behind in life, and haven’t followed a linear timeline, but your story gives me hope. I also love that you shared the Bell Jar quote! Hugs 🫶🏼

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Sending you strength 💪 writing a thesis is no small feat. Hope it’s going well!

@MP-ut6eb 2 месяца назад

Wow!! Me too with thesis!! :) Good luck!

@thamyres_souza 3 месяца назад

também quero todos os figos! amei a leitura da sylvia plath e esse livro é um dos meus favoritos 💜 a vida é essa coisa louca, né. tenho 27 anos e cada dia mais quero abrir mão da minha carreira até aqui pra também entrar no mundo da culinária. é difícil ser sonhadora no mundo capitalista, são muitas camadas de complexidade, mas ajuda e muito ter pessoas queridas como você no caminho, compartilhando parte da sua experiência e nos ajudando a pensar um tanto na nossa também. 💌

@UnlovelyRita 3 месяца назад

Sem dúvida, num mundo capitalista é muito difícil remar contra a maré… Mas que nunca nos faltem figos! ❤️

@qfason5836 2 месяца назад

beautiful aesthetic so lovely a person.

@RicardoSanchezVera 3 месяца назад

I love your videos

@cream_fitness 2 месяца назад

what a beautiful video

@lifeaschel_ 2 месяца назад

Just subscribed! Your channel is so lovely. ❤

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much 💛💛

@melissagrindon9074 2 месяца назад

This was such a comforting video to watch! Thank you so much for being so transparent and sharing your thoughts... it's so reassuring for us watching as well. Often the best time to create something new, or revisit an old love and passion, is when we feel lost ☺ From a new subscriber 🥰

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much 🥰

@lornaspencer4731 2 месяца назад

I love the way you put your thoughts together 💕 You're making me wana paint again, watching you do the watercolours felt so peaceful 🕊 You're such a creative soul, and the path you're on, whilst it may feel daunting is incredibly brave and exciting. Unfortunately entry level positions, internships and a lot of apprenticeships are predominantly unpaid, that is the uncomfortable truth. In this economy employers are cutting back and cutting costs anywhere they can, if you're new to a certain industry they often consider the experience you'd get learning from them on the job to be an advantage rather than having to pay to take a yr long course or other alternative. I'm not saying it's right but it's what I've also been faced with for over a decade of trying to get into any creative role, swallowing my pride to do the free work only for it to go no where and be faced with the same again. Reshaping your idea of what success looks like is going to take a while, especially as we've been taught to value money as a measure of how valuable our time is. Other people's permission or financial support in doing things doesn't negate whether or not you're an artist / baker or if you're successful - unless that's how you continue to choose to measure success. Everyone's on a different journey, the best advice I can give is do something that makes you excited to try and experiment, don't worry about permanence or perceived failure, learn to play again - even if it's uncertain it's better than waiting for the 'right thing' to come to you. When your focus shifts away from the end goal and focus on what you can enjoy right now, you'll realise you have everything you need to create a life you love 💖

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

It is unfortunate that seems to be most industries standard practice… I personally had to start like that too, and it’s so exhausting and demoralising. No one should have to work for free, specially in these challenging times. Thank you for the kind words 💛

@MyLifeAsMandy_ 2 месяца назад

I love it, new subscriber

@qwertyqwert2772 2 месяца назад

omg what is this title of your channel about!!!!!!!! you are so lovely!!!

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Oh thank you!

@riahahaha 2 месяца назад

Feeling lost at 20!

@mildrumpus 2 месяца назад

I discovered your channel through this video. Hang in there! 😎📚👍

@MisterJingo93 2 месяца назад

I rarely comment but I feel like I´d enjoy a conversation. I have been on the verge of quiting my "career" in academia after 4 years. I am heavily struggeling with mental health, the last couple of weeks I started having panic attacks. My master´s thesis is coming up, and baiscally everything connected to it makes me anxious and depressed. I didn´t get to learn what I wanted to learn during the degree, I hate the job as research assistand that I had before starting the degree and yet I am unable to just pull the trigger and quit. But I also already quit my career as an engineer after the Bacherlors thesis, because I didn´t enjoy the work at all. So now I have amounted two failed tries in two different fields, and I have no idea where to go from here. The other s*itshow in my life is personal. Never had a romantic relationship that motivated me to just pull through, recently my best friend told me he felt suic*dal, which threw me down a spiral too, I stil live in a shared flat at 29... Everything just sucks. It´s doesnt look or feel like it can turn better, because nothing ever was as I expected, and nothing ever worked out. So from lived experience I just want to give up.

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much for sharing. I know sometimes things are tough and it’s hard to deal with all at the same time without know when things will get better. But I’m sure they will ☺️ Sending you all the love 💛

@Gettothegone 2 месяца назад

Hello

@kamertonaudiophileplayer847 2 месяца назад

Are you kidding? Portugal is a civil country and they certainly have some apparel stores, So take a minimum with yourself, and buy extra clothes in Portugal as you need them. I do it all time.

@UnlovelyRita 2 месяца назад

I wish!! But then I’ll have way too many clothes 😭