Former FBI Agent Breaks Down Body Language Pet Peeves | WIRED

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Former FBI agent and body language expert Joe Navarro is back to explain why we feel they way we do about certain types of body language. Why do we shake hands, and why does a bad handshake turn us off so much? Why do we feel uncomfortable being stared at? Is there a reason why people "manspread"?
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7 июл 2021

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Комментарии : 4,2 тыс.

@kellymckay4169 2 года назад

Pacing while on a stressful phone call is a must.

@mineola_ 2 года назад

I tend to freeze up during stressful phonecalls, pull my knees to my chest and get compact. Interesting to see the differences.

@kristinamitchell716 2 года назад

I pace anyways.

@nintendude794 2 года назад

@@kristinamitchell716 same.

@XxCrankyMoosexX 2 года назад

I find myself pacing during any phone call longer than a minute. Whether it’s with a friend and is casual or it’s more for business.

@CurryBoy17 2 года назад

Last time I paced during a phone call was when confronting my ex about why he was doing stuff with another person and then making me believe I was paranoid rip 💀

@youngandfoolish 2 года назад

I love that he talked about the differences between cultures. Having that broader perspective is so important

@luismartins6239 2 года назад

If you go to África you should know, that for them is normal to stand very close, In lines or everywhere.

@SpiritGuide11111 2 года назад

@@luismartins6239 India as well. Closer closer closer. I just want to knock the stack of people over and say back off!!

@speedy63663 Год назад

its also racist.

@sevinchizzatullayeva229 Год назад

@@luismartins6239 and a on my ooooo

@sevinchizzatullayeva229 Год назад

@wientz Год назад

One thing I learned about "the handshake". Sometimes, maybe one in twenty, you get a bad 'grab'...that is, they grab about three of your fingers and you got nothing. Whenever that happens I just let go and say "let's try that one again" and always had a good response with that! Breaks the ice in a good way!

@hhhenge Год назад

this is my strategy too! i think it applies further than just handshakes too, if you can play off an awkward situation it often reads as charming and in control

@ericcaldwell3584 Год назад

Yeah I really hate that one. I'm thinking, "shall I courtesy?" "Are you going to kiss my hand?" I like your approach!

@paleamigo8575 Год назад

A bad handshake is hard to forget but I wouldn't judge someone by that alone. Instead I would focus more on any positive attributes that may beneficial.

@johno9507 Год назад

I ran into a old friend and went to shake his hand and he gave me a absolutely gross limp handshake, I said to him "that's not a proper handshake." and then I squeezed his hand rather firmly, he then let out this horrific scream and the yelled "I've got cancer in my hand!" Man I felt absolutely awful inside. Sadly he passed away shortly after that. 😧

@eddiewalker7252 Год назад

Thank you -- broke fingers

@sophiesmith5922 Год назад

I LOVE the part about the calf muscle being the second heart. I used to tap my heels on the floor rapidly as a kid in school. People thought I was nervous. Really I was trying to stay alert in class and felt like falling asleep. LOL. Such serious misinterpretation!

@WinkLinkletter Год назад

@John Smith For sure. I had a friend who would shake his feet back and forth when propped watching tube in the house TV room so that no matter what, it was there jiggling in your periphery. When he said he "just couldn't help it" he was banished to watch his little black and white in his own room. And another housemate, who couldn't stop bouncing the ham-hock leg of his 400 lb body, shaking the whole floor noisily. We just threw things at him EVERY time he'd start (about every ten minutes). So irritating. ,

@orphanslayer6546 Год назад

I bounce my legs up and down if I have to sit or I stand up, I cannot stay still without getting drowsy unless I'm hyper focused on something

@lizroberts1569 Год назад

I knew about the calf muscles as they tell British soldiers who are trooping the colour to clench and unclench the calves to stop passing out.

@jackbrooks7478 2 года назад

"The human brain is the most complex thing in all of the cosmos" - The human brain

@cthulu423 2 года назад

Obama givin obama a medal.

@razmiddle9410 2 года назад

Hah!

@kelsierrr7247 2 года назад

A bit biased take tbh

@JakeND 2 года назад

Based

@gokaytaspnar1355 2 года назад

@@cthulu423 I was about to comment same thing

@briannarichardson9511 2 года назад

If you're talking with a close talker, try taking a small step back and see how far you can get them to move.

@kryptic_pro_2792 2 года назад

😂

@deathstalkr_ 2 года назад

Lmao

@CurryBoy17 2 года назад

Then there's me who used to get "aroused" and anxious if someone was close to me inside the bus while going to school

@tanie3543 2 года назад

@@CurryBoy17 what??!

@BradleyGibbs 2 года назад

Or just lick their nose...

@hasalih9852 Год назад

I like the way he talks, very clear, nice neat talking.

@vinceschaeffer Год назад

the conversation my dad shared with me was you always look them in the eye when you shake their hand. shows a sign of respect of greeting. I could be wrong but I can't find it ok when they just shake your hand with their head down.. hope you all are having a great summer.

@Fizz-Pop 2 года назад

It's the limp handshake that gets me. No pressure at all. It's just this meat thing you shake. No life in it. I'm always polite, but it makes my skin crawl.

@007snail 2 года назад

Firm but not too firm. That limp handshake makes me feel the same.

@garyfox8701 2 года назад

I hadn't realised but when he said you remember I instantly recalled the two guys I know who are lettuce leaf hand shakers.

@robertsprafke9376 2 года назад

@@garyfox8701 Masons

@tyson9419 2 года назад

Yeah I knew a guy who had a dead fish, sweaty palm handshake. Absolutely disgusting!!

@andrewbarney5503 2 года назад

I've done limp or loose handshakes unknowingly because I was either lazy or I didn't like the person and really didn't want to shake their hand. But honestly hand shaking is weird, so if you are going to force your hand shaking behavior on me you don't get to dictate what kind you get in return.

@TekindusT 2 года назад

This man really needs a RU-vid channel for himself.

@hairdresser1300 2 года назад

He has a facebook page

@Kerosene. 2 года назад

@Yash Paul Sharma ok so?

@Berryss 2 года назад

He wrote a couple books, you should check them out

@juliustobar 2 года назад

@@ChiyokoMcNair Joe Navarro

@alyssaxastarita 2 года назад

1000%

@WinkLinkletter Год назад

The whole pacing combination of mechanisms and effects is so fascinating. I had a housemate that couldn't stop shaking his feet left and right while they were propped up watching tube in the house T.V. room. It nearly drove me crazy having him forever twitching in my periphery. I had another who couldn't stop bouncing his leg up and down when sitting, but he weighed nearly four-hundred pounds and it shook the whole floor. Arhggg! Great video.

@simonjones4941 Год назад

This was really informative. I’ve always held a doubt that Body Language experts were dealing in pseudoscience but these examples were all backed up by science or studies. Thank you!!

@joeyilse1409 2 года назад

"It"s not about perfection, it's about improving whatever we have". This quote hit me different as it is applicable to a lot of things in life.

@sablethompson4729 2 года назад

Perfection is never achievable and can be harmful to aim for. But aiming for our best is noble and important. When we give up trying to be perfect, we can be great instead.

@elkstereidolon3523 Год назад

Trust me, the motherfuckin aim is PERFECTION by way of paving a AI stepping stone to transhumanism.

@jackoBoB1000 Год назад

@@sablethompson4729 well said!

@SakatzuCat Год назад

@@sablethompson4729 If you don't mind, I'm going to quote that when I can in conversations!

@agustinburlaza1690 Год назад

Amen.. I freaking loved that quote!! Seriously 👍

@MysterySteve 2 года назад

The rabbi at the synagogue I went to as a kid shook every kid's hand violently, in a way that shook the entire upper half of our body. It always made us laugh and that was his intention. He was great.

@sanbilge 2 года назад

I hated it when adults were rough on me the way you explained it. Holding my shoulder and shaking, causing me to lose balance, pushing and pulling around. These people were usually family friends or distant family. I think it's really rude to kids when adults don't respect their personal space. I do realize that's not exactly what you were saying. Consider this a rant in parallel :)

@MysterySteve 2 года назад

@@sanbilge I'm sorry you went through that. I guess it depends on the culture you're accustomed to.

@nurhusna1407 2 года назад

I remember my grandpa used to do that too, it always makes us giggle. Happy memories.

@musicalman1995 2 года назад

I think we had the same Rabbi!

@MysterySteve 2 года назад

@@musicalman1995 Brooklyn?

@justinevans2118 Год назад

So what I’m hearing is to do a gruesome calve workout before taking an exam. Got it 👍🏻

@Fauna4ever Год назад

Thank you so much for the in-depth and introspective presentation of this video!

@ConradJupiter77 2 года назад

I'm more concerned why Robert gates secretary of defence is wearing half a suit.

@republictrooper5288 2 года назад

Yeah what was that?

@c4715 2 года назад

@@alanhughes8152 what do you Mean?

@bri7399 2 года назад

Looks like he was in the process of taking it off

@danshowlund 2 года назад

@@criminalsaint9611 🤣

@erakfishfishfish 2 года назад

Does he think he’s Harvey Dent?

@Ace_of_Empires 2 года назад

A lot of lads try to do little tricks they learn to try to show “dominance”, not realizing their display of needing to resort to tricks really communicates that they’re of weak spirit.

@55CINCO55 2 года назад

@@JEA- It's so easy to tell as well lmao

@shadowmoon1657 2 года назад

Sure, women dont do these things at all. The also “menspread”. And I “menspread” bc I have balls not bc I want dominance. Its impolite to spread too much, but its like you don’t know male anatomy. It really is a feminist concept bc of how stupid it is.

@shadowmoon1657 2 года назад

The real tricks of “dominance “ are also friendly competition and communication among friends. Your life must be sad

@chrono-glitchwaterlily8776 2 года назад

Same goes with money. The rich in my area tend to hide the fact that they're rich, whether for safety reasons or other reasons. The only ones really flaunting are those financially insecure or unstable. They wanna show off how much money they have and try to give themselves the image that they have more than they have

@lauramessy 2 года назад

@@shadowmoon1657 kind of triggered

@xillybrain Год назад

This was truly helpful for me, would love to see more episodes

@KINGNAS777 Год назад

Love me a solid handshake. The start to a confident conversation and lil optimistic too

@Lanhoj 2 года назад

*Introduction* - @0:00 *1)* Staring - @0:23 *2)* Pacing - @1:23 *3)* The Bad Handshake - @2:40 *4)* The Close Talker - @4:08 *5)* Touch Phobia - @5:23 *6)* Manspreading - @6:04 *7)* Verbal Tics - @6:38 *8)* Eye Rolling - @8:09 *9)* Tapping - @8:28 *Conclusion* - @9:17

@jayczzzya 2 года назад

I am a chronic tapper. I agree, it calms me down and helps me fill out time. I have an overactive mind. I personally feel uncomfortble around close talkers and touchy feely persons. I use the techniques mentioned to cope with them. I admit manspreading is rude in public places but it's naturally ingrained in guys. We naturally do it because it gets quite hot, sweaty and sticky between our legs when we keep them closed especially while wearing both underwear and trousers. The point is we need to be respectful of each other pet peeves and well as learn to cope with our own peeves.

@manasavuibaubatiwale3593 2 года назад

Appreciate the time stamps 💯❤🙏

@stiltzkin2mb 2 года назад

Thanks for the timestamp!

@stephwheeler2k 2 года назад

I hoped he would have cited "smiling ," or frowning though its a candid tell. How long can humans go completely boring foregoing entertaining self or others in any social setting or gathering?

@adamware2103 2 года назад

Many thanks

@SVENY 2 года назад

"squeeze at the same level" Teachers just casually crushing every bone in your hand...

@jielynsabarez2693 2 года назад

some people I know "assert their dominance" by squeezing the living life out of my hand when I try shaking hands with them, now I never agree to shake hands with people I barely know.

@chrono-glitchwaterlily8776 2 года назад

@@jielynsabarez2693 isn't that a good thing since their hands could be dirty?

@CANControlGRAFFITI 2 года назад

Teachers? How bout old whit men

@jim_8558 2 года назад

I give firm hand shakes but not crushing during parent teacher conference. Because a handshake shows a lot of who you are. Many people think teachers have no idea of hard labor. The males adults will change their opinion of me instantly when they feel a firm handshake with calluses.

@tylerg6511 2 года назад

It's worse when 1 or more of your fingers already hurts.

@InsideOutsideSoul Год назад

I very much appreciate the info on the second heart in the calves. Just a quick major blessing to me because I been losing touch with that part and now blood is just flowing smoothly recognising why I feel so exhausted in my legs.

@miketaco2900 Год назад

His speach was to the point, to conclude one should be just confident and respectfull. That lines up all.

@Steve_Hayden 2 года назад

I like this guy. His explanations were short yet informative

@computerdores 2 года назад

I guess that's a good skill to have if u have superiors

@Huh1319 2 года назад

I’ve read all his books, read first one probably 9-10,years ago. Been obsessed with him and body language ever since. Highly recommend

@Huh1319 2 года назад

@@Steve_Hayden I’ve been in business and sales all my professional career. Full disclosure I have always been incredibly fascinated by emotional/social intelligence and body language, but I love his books (still do and I’m an avid reader). My entire career has been based on meetings, so I’m always intrigued when I look around and “try” to read the room. I think it’s helped/helps me be able to somewhat read better, as well as help adjust myself if I sense something I’m doing is upsetting.

@squirrelorama 2 года назад

Be sure to thank the video editor as well

@marinamel4707 2 года назад

@@Huh1319 Hello, I would like to read that book. Can you tell how it calls. Thanks.

@galling2052 2 года назад

I like how he does not write Off potentialy annoying behavior like pacing as something to be corrected. It is very helpfull and probably the most calming thing next to going on an actual walk. Personally get very irritated when people tell me to stop.

@Deady4u 2 года назад

I get why people ask you to stop though because even if it soothes you personally, it causes stress/anxiety on the people around you

@akilegna1255 2 года назад

but it makes the whole room nervous

@wmdkitty 2 года назад

That's nice, but your pacing is fueling my anxiety.

@JustAnotherBuckyLover 2 года назад

To all the people saying "but it makes me anxious" - it's not the pacer's responsibility to manage your anxiety. Many people who are ND (autistic, ADHD, Tourettes etc) pace as one of their stims and those stims are vital to enable them to function effectively. Not being able to do so makes US anxious... so you take care of YOUR anxiety, and we'll take care of ours, yeah?

@akilegna1255 2 года назад

@@JustAnotherBuckyLover yeah for sure ill take care of my anxiety by 'taking care' of whoever is pacing ;)

@marcushendriksen8415 Год назад

There've been quite a few occasions in my life where I was glad that my male relatives took the time to critique my handshake during my childhood. It's insane how much a difference it can make to your job when your handshake impresses the boss, for example

@lisasternenkind6467 Год назад

I'm a creative. I am a public speaker. And I am a pacer. lol I always thought this meant, that I would try to run away, but Joe Navarro's explanation taught me better. Thank you!

@d.g.5690 2 года назад

As someone who doesn't understand body language, this was fantastic

@mugin11223344 2 года назад

The four guys can teach you a lot about body language. In an interesting way. ru-vid.com But remember that body language is not like the spoken language, and 1 "sign" in itself does not necessarily mean anything. You have to see it in context.

@rafaelbautista4106 2 года назад

This guy has been observing body language since he was Young. His hobby

@shadowmoon1657 2 года назад

Bunch of stupid things as well.

@xgeex7540 2 года назад

@@shadowmoon1657 what do you mean?

@xgeex7540 2 года назад

His books also tells a looot that other body language books don't, worth the buy i swear. Literally changed my entire prespective on the tells

@NaNa-re3wc 2 года назад

Now I know the science behind Friedrich Nietzsche’s quote, “All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking”.

@nicholasschroeder3678 2 года назад

Charles Dickens would walk London streets endlessly--sometimes 20 miles. I myself do a vigorous 40 minute hike daily

@IsomerSoma 2 года назад

Nietzsche made long walks around sils maria.

@Smllc22318 2 года назад

I dunno man can’t walk in the shower…

@HairyJuan 2 года назад

@@Smllc22318 but you are standing thus calf muscles will be in use

@joycethiery2488 2 года назад

I can believe that. When I walk in the woods or wherever, I come up with some of the neatest stuff

@gurwindersingh5731 Год назад

Thank you man for sharing this stuff

@Olivia-ix6gu Год назад

OK. New info and I love it. He mentioned contracting the gastronemious as a 2ndary muscle like the heart ... focus... I'll try doing plantar flexion exercise before and during an exam and see if I focus better.

@ravenevermore7338 2 года назад

I can’t stand being touched or people standing too close to me. Both instantly make me want to leave the conversation.

@ayikan_nakiya 2 года назад

Fr some people don't even get that I want space like please not trying to seem like that one American to hate America the the core but they don't understand only my friends would most of them wouldn't listen like 😐 that's just sad 😕

@trustme-8058 2 года назад

@@ayikan_nakiya wait since when did this have anything to do with America 😀

@coxdm00 2 года назад

Joe Navarro also has a book, "What Every Body is Saying". It's an interesting guide to how you can read people's body language, what it might say about how they're feeling, and how you can present yourself differently. It's quite good!

@rayvincyful1 2 года назад

I have read that book like 5 times but I can't still read people. 😆

@Anonymous-jf2gy 2 года назад

@@rayvincyful1 really?

@rayvincyful1 2 года назад

@@Anonymous-jf2gy yes. I'm so bad at reading people. Lol.

@nycolaspaffoni2583 2 года назад

It is really based on science?

@briseboy Год назад

@@rayvincyful1 They are commonly tatted up, and you CAN read that = very ugly narcissism.

@darlenesanchez7771 Год назад

I'm a California native, and the staring thing is so much different here. I would say you're only allowed to stare for half a second before it gets weird. It has to do with the pace of the culture here. Everything is so fast.

@TamTam-pu7ed Год назад

That is very informative thank you so much for sharing

@julianakarasawa315 2 года назад

More than close talkers, I HATE people who think you are touchscreen. I'm listening to you, you don't have to poke me

@Rx_VV 2 года назад

Really what are your nose doing in my mouth ,stay away buddy 😁

@jayczzzya 2 года назад

Lol. I love that comment

@jerry-ic8id 2 года назад

Ohhhhhh I hate it...

@macforme 2 года назад

Juliana.... they are taking Facebook into the real world...perhaps?

@janemary8339 2 года назад

@@macforme Does Facebook still have the poke button?

@christierella 2 года назад

I don’t mind close family touching me, just not people I’m not close to.

@dregonskreper7609 2 года назад

Touch me senpai!

@em5345- 2 года назад

r/cursedcomments

@cyb8490 2 года назад

Kinda sus my guy

@Michaeljackyjackson_ 2 года назад

I feel u bro .. uncle?

@sooyan00 2 года назад

alright Alabama calm down

@LadySamurai88 10 месяцев назад

Love to listen to Joe Navarro about our body language

@Diamondkity Год назад

very interesting information! Thank you!

@nicklaskowalski 2 года назад

Shaking hands isn’t really done in some cultures. In Japan for example.

@ix7275 2 года назад

Yeah in Japan they do sepuku.

@hansenyan6217 2 года назад

@@ix7275 yep, the seppuku where they just stab themselves when meeting someone because interaction is just too much to bare

@HerFather 2 года назад

@@hansenyan6217 😭

@unusualusualdailysceneswep8405 2 года назад

In India 🙏

@ix7275 2 года назад

@@hansenyan6217 I thought that was Sudoku

@Qb3ify 2 года назад

I was hoping that he’d explained hand movement when talking.

@Cube_Box 2 года назад

You mean hand gestures? Tom Scott made a video about it just search hand gestures Tom scott

@rollomaughfling380 2 года назад

@@Cube_Box Rachel Greene made one too. Just search F • R • I • E • N • D • S (She had less-weird hair.)

@knowun 2 года назад

Gesticulation, I think, has a lot more to do with the process of articulating thoughts than with the audience's perceptions

@PeacefulPeteable 2 года назад

Lol

@ed4253 2 года назад

See Scotty Killer on YT, his hands move faster than he speaks

@davidmcmichael8113 Год назад

Very interesting not only realizing my self but to learn about other people, and how to improve relationships or simply interacting with others on a positive note.

@adrianrodriguez9569 Год назад

I really appreciate this man speaking clearly

@raviolipaneko5449 2 года назад

I didn't know that pacing helps circulate more blood to the brain, really informative thank you.

@briseboy Год назад

You may also stand on your head, which is soothing, without irritating others around you.

@raviolipaneko5449 Год назад

@@briseboy I've tried that before, but its really nauseating and yeah my fam just got used to me pacing around the room.

@bigbrotherisasob Год назад

Really ?

@KanyeKetchup Год назад

It's called exercise try it

@ToMi-bm5hh Год назад

That pumping job of calf muscles is only important when standing. If you lay down, getting your heart in the same level as legs, it has no importance. So if this was a big benefit of pacing, you could just lay down instead. I think the rocking motion analogy makes much more sense in this case.

@LKeyYT 2 года назад

0:45 so many flashbacks of awkward staredowns I’ve had in Morocco that were unexplained to me until now

@PauloGarcia-sp5ws 2 года назад

Glad I'm not the only one who noticed the staring competitions in foreign countries.

@PlaguePriest88 2 года назад

I like staring at people

@janemary8339 2 года назад

Four seconds of being stared at by a stranger is too long for some of us.

@PlaguePriest88 2 года назад

@@janemary8339 I'm sorry, it just entertains me

@kermitthefrog2578 2 года назад

@@PlaguePriest88 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

@tonyandreoli8180 Год назад

That was real interesting. Thank you

@lazerous2002 Год назад

Ive paced for years, I did not know that it helps you think. Awesome!

@diegomontoya8889 2 года назад

Where this guy's tie hits his belt line is near perfection. That is exactly there you want the end of the tie to be. Everything in this man's life is about trying to be perfect.

@saulgoodmanKAZAKH 2 года назад

This man even explains perfectly.

@saulgoodmanKAZAKH 2 года назад

7:59

@diegomontoya8889 2 года назад

@@saulgoodmanKAZAKH Yeah, I wasn't sure what was going on there either...

@alyxfaust5663 2 года назад

Sounds absolutely miserable.

@commanderwaddles3483 2 года назад

@@alyxfaust5663 Unless he finds it fun, like getting his stats up in a game lol

@johnwalker1058 2 года назад

Talks about how bad the wet handshake is Me who has hyperhidrosis: RIP

@TheDerpyWerp 2 года назад

I interpreted that as in 'wet' paper towel strength levels rather than actual moisture lol

@carric9962 2 года назад

People with weird peely dry hand are just as bad

@deathstalkr_ 2 года назад

Just dry your hand with handkerchief or a tissue before a handshake.

@my_name_is_methos1466 2 года назад

Same, that used to be a big issue for me, especially in high school TT Have you tried a iontophoresis machine? it fixed the issue in my case.

@danielflanard8274 2 года назад

@@deathstalkr_ Even then the skin is still quite moist. Not as bad as soaking wet, but not pleasant either, for either party.

@allythearts5439 11 месяцев назад

Pacing can also be of comfort. I'm autistic so I do have a lot of weird tendencies and quirks and people may find off putting or suspicious. What they don't know is that its my self's way of masking it helps me to level out everything else that is running through my mind.

@800yahmusic 10 месяцев назад

I respect these guys ,say what you want they know what to look for ,and they also need to be paid a better salary ⚖️

@user-my2eo9lo1y 2 года назад

I wanted to add something I have noticed when it comes to babies and rocking them. My brother decided to sing one song when it came to his son's nap and sleep time. I have noticed through the two years of singing that song has been a helpful tool to make my nephew aware that it is rest time. I still Rock him when I can and sing that song, he relaxes,lays his head on my chest and listens. At times he sings part of the song with me. Now, I change up the song a bit by adding his name to the song. Pick a song and sing that song when it is time for your baby to rest and or sleep. The song that was chosen for my nephew was twinkle twinkle little star. Thank you and God Bless

@nancywutzke5392 2 года назад

That is so precious.

@madwhitehare3635 2 года назад

Singing is a restorative process for old, young and anyone in between!

@zackscott8636 2 года назад

scents are also reinforcing of mental states

@crabtrap 2 года назад

Is Poison by Alice Cooper ok?

@joycethiery2488 2 года назад

That makes a lot of sense. Seriously

@rosalysmartinez2153 2 года назад

Thank you! Your videos are so good and well put together. They are very educational, increases self awareness and self improvement in our daily body language.

@lizroberts1569 Год назад

Interesting. I’m particular about hand shaking, and you’re right I can remember one particular lump handshake. Depending on which culture I find myself in I’ll tend to mirror.

@michaelohair3715 Год назад

Beautiful. another excellent, sensible video.

@koretmulder6316 2 года назад

Handshakes in professional settings are also complicated by gender. I'm a woman in a professional workplace, and I am very likely to reach out for a handshake upon introduction, as I think is typical for most male-presenting professionals. Some associates (male and female) just respond naturally, and we do the normal pressure, quick grasp, two or three, done. I like shaking hands, it feels like the original ice-breaker. But I'd also say about half of the men look at my outstretched hand in confusion. And I've also noticed that some female professionals just don't do it at all, even while all the men around them are instinctively shaking hands as a greeting. I think this is still settling down in terms of gender norms in the business place.

@Mr3kiwis 2 года назад

That's interesting. I remember reading a very old etiquette book that said that ladies shaking hands was appropriate but if it was between a lady and a gentleman, the gentleman should never presume to offer his hand first but would take her hand when she offered it. That would be considered very sexist now but was part of the chivalrous culture of the time.

@florida23 2 года назад

Agreed.

@longlivegarybusey6409 2 года назад

Probably because a lot men are terrified of touching female coworkers in any way. So their confusion is probably more of an internal risk assessment.

@riverraisin1 2 года назад

I think it's rooted in growing up as a male child. You hugged Dad until you reached a certain age and then switched to handshaking at some point. With Mom you always hugged. I know this isn't a hard rule, as some boys grow up always hugging both parents, but I think this mindset is carried over to adulthood and causes momentary confusion among some men in their professional lives.

@snafuet Год назад

In my country most male coworkers are confused, or even laugh at me for giving them the hand (sometimes even ignoring me in terms of greeting at all, if there are males in a room). Being younger than them doesn't help much, too...

@meganh7526 2 года назад

I thought it was interesting that he didn’t talk about culture and hand shaking, since in many cultures hand shaking is not the norm.

@shadowmoon1657 2 года назад

I dont shake hands, I don’t care. If the person insist I barely touch their hands. I don’t know what they’ve been doing with that hand before. I think its gross and I never learned to accept it. Also I find it such a stupid gesture.

@Rooftop-Ali-BR 2 года назад

Pretty sure most people in the world dont normally shake hands. Big cultural difference there.

@shantanuranjan5462 2 года назад

Yes in hinduism it's namaste and in islam its usually verbal gesture

@Art-zs6sl 2 года назад

@@shadowmoon1657 Just don't pick your nose, you'll be ok.

@walterhicks3990 2 года назад

He is LYING! That's why he didn't bring it up. This is why we teach our children NOT to trust strangers/touches/etc. He literally just taught people how TO get abducted fastest/be the easiest targets.

@dacads Год назад

I recently discovered I have a limp handshake because I was told. I never thought this was the case and was always disappointed with other people giving me a limp handshake. So the issue here is judging people when really they might not be aware themselves. Judging people is a big issue in society.

@theasianjaywalker4455 Год назад

Then you have the stupid level of people who decide it's meaningful. Like this really tells them some clever insight into your 'character' or how you'd handle yourself in business. I'm for ending the 'handshake' due to morons who've abused it.

@agni3872 Год назад

very fun and educational video. thank you

@hamsteroncoffee 2 года назад

I hate people touching me while engaging in a conversation with me. Especially if they are fake people that try to use touching as a way to get "closer" to you. Grrrrr 😤😒

@mm-ee1qx 2 года назад

Just Cut that fake hand off 😂

@strawberrypastel8515 Год назад

“Grr” 😭

@josephwynne4903 Год назад

Not only get closer to you but to exert their power over you.

@dahyimi2185 Год назад

What I hate the most is people who give "the condescending shoulder grab" to strangers. It's something they often do when a conversation is technically over, just before leaving, and I'm like: "Can't they just say 'bye' and leave without touching me?" 😒.

@srbaruchi Год назад

Yeah, but (as a guy) having an attractive woman you barely know begin touching you during conversation is pretty delicious.

@bronteboy89 2 года назад

Close talkers make me uncomfortable and touching kinda does but honestly I’d never call anyone out on it because it’s not that big of a deal personally

@florianbelza7370 6 месяцев назад

Body language wise I'm sure he's excellent and all, that i cant judge. His rhetorical skills on the other hand i can judge a teeny tiny bit. And they're absolutely phenomenal.

@564Clayton Год назад

I’d be interested in him doing this for different ethnicities in America! If he’s done it already, lemme know ❤

@NuYorka13 2 года назад

Great video. Awesome Speaker. Wish there were more like this out there. Informative but not boring, very engaging.

@zlatkowar 2 года назад

Could listen to this guy for days.

@KanyeKetchup Год назад

Not every Man sits like a office boy cream puff with his legs crossed 😆😆

@50CAO Год назад

I have palmar hyperhydrosis so my hands are always wet and clammy. It’s always awkward and embarrassing when I shake someone’s hand. Very difficult to network and socialize in the business community.

@AngelaOuro 3 месяца назад

Ótimo video para inicio de estudo , no mais a leveza em explicar adoça nossos ouvidos.😊

@MrReese 2 года назад

Regarding the tics - at university we had plenty of presentation technique classes and we were also filmed while doing these. One of them made us clap everytime the presenter used his/her tic, it was really eye-opening.

@SusynStecchi 2 года назад

Fantastic. Especially covering how different cultures have different meanings for body language. Good to know that what might be perfectly acceptable in the USA might be an insult in another country.

@robertmuller6657 Год назад

Woah that’s so interesting! In the place where I grew up We were never taught such things

@Luvacanuck Год назад

Very interesting and useable information. In number ten (pet peeves) I think the pickiness example of, in this case, toothpaste choice is a little off. Companies/corporations create our need for choice by putting out so many options of one item as to insure we pick one of their products. If there were only two options of any one item people would be satisfied and not think they NEED less whitening but 10% more tartar control(eg).

@debbylou5729 Год назад

Really? Does that what you do? I decide based on my teeth, not a commercial. I lived in Canada where you find an entire aisle with two types of Tide. This has nothing to do with what I ‘need’. I ‘need’ fragrance free and they never had it

@Luvacanuck Год назад

@@debbylou5729 Um…no where did I say that I personally base a decision on commercials. Also, your example is not conducive to, what I am not sure, you are arguing. Unscented detergent is an improvement in choice not just another iteration of the same thing to promote sales I.e. nicer packaging or “improved” while leaving the apparently inferior product on the shelf. I am middle aged with my own teeth and have never had a cavity. I use whatever the heck is on sale! Lol ps-not sure when you last visited us but we have long since started emulating the US with many more options of “Tide”.😂 Cheers, be well and VIVA SANS PARFUM!!

@private9062 Год назад

One of the most shocking moments in my life was to adapt to the 1 second “rule” of staring at each other in US. I felt so uncomfortable about it that I thought people were scared of me or something. Now I get why.

@markgreiser464 Год назад

, I have made it a point in Life, to consistently look people, in the eye.

@gijsbertmarkus3754 Год назад

Is this in general or also in conversation with someone?

@private9062 Год назад

@@gijsbertmarkus3754 Only when I'm walking and someone's coming towards me in the oppposite direction. I'm culturally used to stare (naturally) at that other person for at least two seconds and keep going on. In US it feels like people are avoiding to be in the visual range of others.

@greyscalesx Год назад

@@markgreiser464 so In other words, you don't care if you make some ppl inconfortable ? Bc I can see why you always done it. But emphasizing it after have watched the video, feels like you say you will keep doing regardless of impact. This is not the great thing you seem to think it is.

@markgreiser464 Год назад

@@greyscalesx , I study People. I do this because People are dangerous. Most dangerous People follow the same patterns. Most do not like to to return a gaze, if they are up to no good. I will live my life as I please. No apologies, if you do not like it. The technique has solved a lot of problems, before they started. People are predators, but I can deal with that. I do not Mask, I will not lockdown, I am not jabbed. I hope that helps.

@christinaduncan8285 2 года назад

This is so useful - thank you, Joe! I read that leg and foot shaking are also ways for the sleep deprived to stimulate the brain to stay awake, which makes sense compared to our brain activity when we're motionless -- we fall asleep!

@stluanne Год назад

Fascinating to learn about people who fidget or bounce their legs or feet. I don't do either. I can sit quietly for some time before I feel compelled to move... BUT, I can't *concentrate* all that well unless my hands are busy. I used to pick at dry skin or hangnails or bite my nails. Now, if I'm sitting waiting or watching tv or listening to a podcast or something, I crochet. I've completely broken the pick or gnaw habit.

@mikemiller659 Год назад

Touching ! I was a service tech working at hospitals & clinics, One day I had to speak with a security guard who approached me with a question, I touched his shoulder briefly and he wigged Out, He stepped back and stared at his shoulder as if I had wiped something on it .Making a scene. Funny part was I got to the OR checking in and the Gal at the window said..I saw how that guard acted towards you touching him..and we both laughed ! It was Great having a witness to such a weird event.

@toomuchtime4896 10 месяцев назад

I wouldn't call it weird. Being touched suddenly can be pretty uncomfortable for some.

@doonewatts7155 2 года назад

Fascinating I will never get irritated by my son's pacing again

@nonnaurbisness3013 2 года назад

How would pacing ever be a reason to be irritated?

@mintforest 2 года назад

@@nonnaurbisness3013 i dunno might be annoying if the kid walks loudly, for example stomps with every step

@sanbilge 2 года назад

@@nonnaurbisness3013 it's anxiety-inducing for some.

@cait5539 2 года назад

Same, must be more patient with my partner!

@HairyJuan 2 года назад

That part was really interesting for me, ever since I was a kid and still today I would always do some sort of pacing activity, sometimes even for like an hour or two straight to just get lost in my thoughts. I can't get lost in them like that when I'm sitting down but when I got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking amphetamine(which increases blood flow among other things) I found I was able to get lost in my thoughts that same way even while just sitting still.

@wishingtree3774 2 года назад

One thing he forgot about handshakes are the people who do it WAY too hard.

@professorbutters 2 года назад

Pre-COVID, I was surprised how many doctors give a really weak handshake. It’s more of a finger shake. Then I developed wrist tendinitis and went to a rheumatologist. A standard “firm handshake” is agonizing to many people who can’t do anything about it. Let’s not even get into the people who grab and yank forward so that you’re pulled off balance. Those Presidents, I mean people, are jerks. That so-called wet handshake is a kind thing to do. Post-COVID, I wonder whether some of us will go back to shaking stranger’s hands at all.

@mack626 2 года назад

Instantly lose respect for a guy if he tries to squeeze too hard, it’s the only thing that bothers me.

@scourix4181 2 года назад

Here in Germany we had several lessons about how to behave in a (for example) Job-Interview. One of the things i learned there is that a really hard handshake is a good thing. I really dont understand why... but i guess i have to adjust myself to the rules. Personally i prefer the fist-bump because i always have wet hands. So a handshake is horrible enough for me!

@Carlos1515 2 года назад

@@mack626 I lose respect for a man with a weak handshake

@mack626 2 года назад

@@Carlos1515 nothing worse than a limp handshake, I don’t know why people can’t just do a regular handshake… but if he tries to strangle my hand I just assume he’s insecure.

@awzsdrcfgybhjimklp Год назад

I don’t know about that stuff about hand shaking. That didn’t seem to line up with me. Shaking hands has never been a primal instinct for me it is very much a learned behavior often needing reminding to actually do it. And as I have learned there is no right way to do it only a wrong way which is with a light grip, any other way is fine.

@drvinson8947 Год назад

My pet peeve is when someone shakes my hand and squeezes too fast and hard before I can close my grip. I’ve learned to go in with a locked hand making it impossible to close before I lock in the grip.

@NeoSpeedfire 2 года назад

I've read a book he wrote about body language when I was just 14 and 11 years later I watch a video about him. It's so strange, like meeting your hero!

@karenm2669 2 года назад

A correction to one detail, if I may? It’s the soleus muscle that’s known as the second heart, not the gastrocnemius. Both are calf muscles, but the soleus lies beneath the gastrocnemius. It’s known as the second heart because it returns blood to the heart. If you’ve been standing too long and feel faint you can sometimes refresh yourself by contracting and releasing your calf muscles, but it’s the soleus that’s pumping the blood back. (I can’t believe I just corrected Joe Navarro. I might need to go and lie down 🤭😁)

@hend-yasser 2 года назад

I have quiz about it tomorrow and i can't believe the school stalking me here

@paulafigueroa1573 2 года назад

If you are a physician, good for you! You go girl!

@mayankk.tewari 2 года назад

Thanks! The one in the video was hard to remember

@ValensRocks Месяц назад

Thank you so much.

@JanetSmith900 Год назад

A weak handshake, where someone loosely grabs your fingers, changes my entire perception of a person permanently. Also, people who give weak hugs (obviously only people close enough to hug) tells me a lot about them (for me).

@markdixon4095 Год назад

You read my mind!

@LjsBeats207 Год назад

I am that person 😂 I have really bad social anxiety so a firm handshake and eye contact is just a bit harder for me to do!

@DouradaBambina Год назад

@@LjsBeats207I always avoid someone like you

@LjsBeats207 Год назад

@@DouradaBambina haha that’s fair

@kalebjames2292 Год назад

The weak hug, or shallow hug thing can be a bit deeper tho

@ParisLauCampbell 2 года назад

"All I know is that i know nothing" You are unique... in your own way.

@arnatri1503 2 года назад

I really don't like anyone touching me or even holding hands with anyone other than my parents or grand parents.

@brincher Год назад

I get intrigued by how fascinated human beings are with explanations that go "psychological", even when the phenomena they are describing are clearly social.

@DrAAbid-dh4us Год назад

Thank you very much my friend

@oldbatkingartist9898 2 года назад

Almost every handshake, people never meet with the webs of our hands! I’ve constantly have had my FINGERS grabbed, and I always think like wow you made MY handshake look bad when in reality it’s like hey just get it deep don’t go for my fingers I’m not yer princess pal lmao

@iguanac6466 2 года назад

I hate that finger grab crap...

@billthebax5578 2 года назад

@@iguanac6466 yeah, why do guys do that!!! Hella weird. I thinking to try to make you feel or look weak , not sure 🤔

@crabtrap 2 года назад

I say confidently "handshake redue! Finger grabber" it lets them know, i know what they did and ill call them on it in our dealings. Even if the fingergrab was my mistake it makes them question themselves.

@peze80 2 года назад

I see Joe Navarro it's an instant like!! I just love his videos!!

@GosWardHen98 Год назад

In the UK we don't actually stare deeply, more like a glance whilst looking slightly downwards. We do this because it's just a way of being spatial to our surroundings & to quickly adjust to our immediate focus or direction. Generally we are a friendly nation, once trust is given you're okay, break it then forget it... Interesting facts.

@tomthompson7400 Год назад

Very informative video .

@ToxicSpork 2 года назад

My sister was a "rocker". She used to rock back and forth on the couch. Eventually, the spring where she always sat poked through the back of the couch due to her constant rocking.

@ohheyitsjae2799 2 года назад

that’s crazy

@TheMrTalon 2 года назад

that's crazy

@thebloodyhound9098 2 года назад

that's crazy

@zee- 2 года назад

that’s crazy

@thegoods7011 2 года назад

that's crazy

@Cube_Box 2 года назад

Oh! That's why I always pace in circles when I'm thinking about something or learning something

@DonDeLem Год назад

It has always bothered me how there are people who judge your entire character based on something so trivial as a handshake. I've known phenomenal people whose hands I've never even touched; sometimes I simply do not want to exert so much energy in a passing moment that I'm going to forget in a few minutes. Nobody my age has ever cared about something like that, and it's typically someone much older who throws a fit when they don't like your handshake. I think the world would be much better if people didn't feel forced to conform to societal standards.

@LOCATIONREDACTED Год назад

I like handshakes, but I may start doing very limp ones for my own amusement.

@jordanbendt9772 Год назад

@@LOCATIONREDACTEDgood one

@Someothername2134 Год назад

Well conforming to social standards is a pretty broad statement. Social standards are you don’t spread your legs too far on the subway. Social standards are you don’t spit on people. You cover your mouth when you cough. Etc. so let’s keep social standards, but let’s change the standard regarding handshakes.

@DonDeLem Год назад

@@Someothername2134 - Agreed. Those are moral things that make you a decent person. Having a "bad" handshake doesn't speak on your character at all

@scottworley1479 Год назад

Yep, our wonderful government. Full of self proclaimed professionals.

@kagitsune Год назад

I will remind the comments section (I'm sure the guest knows but it might have been cut for time) that not all cultures shake hands. For example, it's been considered kind of foreign and weird in Japan, until pretty recently. Instead you have different bowing body language. I really like the quick quarter-bow when you're passing by someone you recognize and respect. I notice it's become more common in Midwest America during the last few years of pandemic.

@donotneed2250 Год назад

Was same in South Korea. I did two tours between 1976 and 1980. I still prefer a bow, nod or just a small wave. I've had people get upset because I won't shake hands and I just tell them that I prefer to keep my germs to myself. I stay healthier that way. I've been known to hurt people when they grab my hand to force me to shake hands and I'm not in the mood for it.

@MidwestSirenProductions 2 года назад

I’m glad that I’m not the only one that dislikes “touchers”. I remember growing up and my dad telling me as an adult to politely put a hand on someone’s shoulder to signal an “excuse me” when passing through a crowd. I’ve never used that, because I know that I hate strangers touching me other than a handshake or a high-five, or whatever.

@tattoodrdoke 2 года назад

Probably wise on your part as its a bit overkill. In some cultures placing hands om shoulds or near neck is attempting to show dominance.

@xoseanaxo5538 2 года назад

Same here

@brandondriver99 2 года назад

I usually touch an elbow, as I find people aren't as threatened

@AngelsAndButterflies 2 года назад

Thanks to this video I realized that not liking being touched is normal. Until today I'd thought that I was socially awkward and that I didn't really have sincere relationships (outside my family) because I didn't touch people like I saw some other not-socially-awkward people do. Turns out I was overthinking it: I don't touch other people because I don't like being touched myself. That fact doesn't make me socially awkward like I thought it did. There's so much more to social interaction.