Friendships & Autism - Unmasked, Unedited, Unwatchable 

Such raw honesty helps all the rest of us accept ourselves, and explain our reality to our NT friends - thank you for the courage that helps us be courageous too ❤

I know that you primarily do this series for the community, but I hope that there is at least a part of this that is genuinely freeing for you as well. Thanks for all you have done, and continue to do.

Thank you for showing how we (autistics) are “in the raw”. Makes me feel “normal” 🤪 and quite okay and accepted ….💙👊

Thank you for this. You brought back a lot of memories where i went through a lot of the same as a kid and even still as an adult. People expect neurodivergent/disabled people to act like they aren't. I often was called a robot and treated like a circus freak. Push and pole at me to see how long it takes to get an emotional response out of me. So much so that i internalized a lot of it and still do.

I'm not autistic (that I know of), but I am ADHD. I grew up homeschooled. My mom is VERY extroverted. I'm more a social introvert. I like to be social in small groups, and then I'm happy for some quiet time. My mom would plan giant birthday parties for me. When I was about 8, I finally got to plan things a bit more for myself. I picked two friends to hang out and have a sleep over. That was generally how I did most of my birthdays after that. Pick one or just a few friends to invite over. Though for my 12th birthday, nothing. I didn't get a birthday because... I don't remember what I did, but I do remember I wasn't allowed to have my one friend over. I was homeschooled too, so my opportunities for friends were limited. I'm sure I tended to be seen as weird. Then when I came back from college, I had tried to make some friends there, but my parents decided I was addicted to the computer and pretty much cut me off from all social stuff for months. I was an adult. I shouldn't have had to deal with it, but I didn't have my degree finished, didn't have a job that paid well enough to leave, and there was nothing I could do except run away to my boyfriend's house. That was a mess.

I understand the spectrum stuff a little bit. Can be tough especially for those who at the time didn’t understand they were on the spectrum. Can be traumatic.

This is like watching myself. Thank you, Orion, for being one of the ones who make me realize I'm not alone.

PLEASE let there be a number 3. These are INCREDIBLE and all I can say is.... THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love this so much and hope you continue making these Orion! I am late diagnosed with a wife and two kids as well (with a third! on the way but that's another story) so I find it very enjoyable and quite relatable. Both in what you are talking about and how you talk about it. So please keep doing these unedited, unmasked vids! I for one could listen to this for as long as it takes to "no-bake" a cheesecake!😂 Sending love and respect from US. ❤

This is a great video! As an autistic person, I wish more autistics would do videos like this! Thank you for your honesty and your sincerity!

I think as an autistic person it's watchable, relatable, and enjoyable to me but yes maybe not watchable to allistic person. It's like I enjoy being open and honest about my experiences on Facebook but my grandmother would tell me I should hide that portion of myself, while my friends who want to understand me enjoy my content. People disagree with the level someone should he authentic. I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. I like you and your content how you are and you entertain me edited or unedited. Thank you for making all your videos because they have been invaluable to me in feeling like I can relate to someone.

I’ve just watch you ‘unwatchable’ video, it was very watchable, I’m now 61, I was diagnosed age 56, growing up undiagnosed I was ‘excluded’ from so much at school, college, work friendships. It was like I was wearing a badge that said, ‘don’t talk to this person’ I, like you still, have vivid memories of social situations throughout my life that ‘went wrong’ or I was excluded form or outrightly discriminated against. When I got the diagnoses it explain so much, but the hurts are still there and people are still acting the same towards me. Thank you for being so real. You are a wonderful Dad. Please keep doing these unscripted ones, as well as the ‘polished ones’ I’m so sorry that you and your family and all the other Autistic people out there have to go through this kind of crap day in and day out. It’s usually sweep under the carpet, we mask, we accept these blow to us. Thank you so much for saying it as it is. It helps to know I’m not alone, it hurts that others are suffering this kind of abuse. We don’t suffer because we are Autistic, we suffer because of how the NT treat us. I love you channel. Thank you so much for making videos.

You are helping me me understand my behavior and routines. I'm 57 and diagnosed ADHD ,, Cptsd. I think they my psychiatrist of 30 years missed something. I'm seeing a new psychiatrist, I think she is going to help me. My Dad struggled with so much, very quiet, loner, dyslexic,, depression. He committed suicide at 29. I believe he was autistic. This is the other side to not being diagnosed correctly. It breaks my heart. Thank you for your honesty, knowledge and rants ❤😊

“People don’t want to see people being autistic” - ugh - really true. Thinking of myself (during work and undiagnosed) and how annoying I was to others (now see how my autism reared it’s head). Also think about others (vaguely) who were not necessarily accepted and got “eye rolls” behind their back - forgive me God 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. You just never know what people are dealing with and whether their battles are big or small so must be kind kind kind. 💞💙🙏🏻👊

My videos are not edited because I dont have the patience to learn and fiddle with editing videos. I have a hard time looking at the camera, so I point the camera at whatever Im talking about - the computer or garden plants or collectibles etc. I am teaching about. The only one Ive done so far where I looked into the camera the whole time was one about hyperparathyroidism where I needed to engage with people about the disease and how it affects me. It was good to do but also very difficult. Yes, I too struggle with large parties and prefer not to attend them. Even when I rarely have them, they are short. If its someone elses party, I always arrive early because Im always early to everything because I obsess over being late. But I am always one of the first to leave because Ive had enough of being in a noisy crowd. My wife threw a big party for my 50th birthday, but she knew what I could handle, so she asked guests to come for a short time and asked different people to come at different times during the day. We played video games, ate cupcakes my wife made, and chit chatted. It was fun. I was tired by the end of the day, but not overwhelmed as I would have been if they had all come at the same time. I had very few friends as a kid so I was invited to very few parties. I was fine with that. My mom was sad about it and disappointed with the people in our small town who pretty much avoided me. If they didnt avoid me, the kids usually teased me and the adults looked disapprovingly at me. Teachers complained to my mom about how weird I was.

Hi Orion 👋 I Hope You Feel Infinitely Better Now That You've Had The Chance To "Vent" & Share Your Perspective As An Autistic Parent Advocating For Your Son❣️ I Am 54 & Deeply Resonate With Your Son's Experience Of Internalizing The Lable Of Monster. 🥺😭 Grateful, I Was Also Raised By Loving & Caring Parents That Advocated & Educated The NeuroTypical Masses Who Act Like Aggressive Asses❣️🖖💗🖖❣️

Wow! I loved this! Thank you!!!!!!

I’m 52, and the “being invited to a party at the last minute” hits me between the eyes. That happened to me. Still hurts. You’re an amazing parent. ❤

Orion you feel like these unmasked vids are jumping off a cliff, yeah? There are two things that can happen after that. You fall. Or you *fly*. You gotta fall first to fly. I believe in you and this work you're doing. It's incredibly validating and insightful for me to watch these unedited vids.

Thank for this . I'm sick of people telling me I'm not Autistic or" I do that" when I try and explain myself . I had to edit this three times hahaha. I will probably make more comments as they come to my mind as I forget what I'm thinking so quick some times.

You’re not ruining your career. You’re being honest and we all appreciate you for taking the time and being so courageous to share this with us. ❤❤

LOVE the unedited videos. As a late diagnosed female, I've been working hard on limiting my masking. Having people such as yourself be vulnerable in this way is helping so much - having experienced numerous burnouts my adult life and now trying to limit them. I'm not a parent, but I can feel you and your family's hurt and anger. That behaviour (the mother/s) is so unacceptable and unfortunately it is leaving a legacy for it to continue. Although frustrating, we need to continue to advocate for ourselves to hopefully make a small change in younger generation's lives.

Hi Orion, this is so true. I got beaten up buy 6 girls all at once at a school disco for talking to a boy! When my kinds went to school, I would get ostracised in the playground by the other parents. But I got a job in a primary school looking after a autistic boy, because of my own issues dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism and adhd. I also had NVQ in teaching assistant and maths GCSE B and I taught art using different mediums. So I was able to put myself in his shoes I. There was a incident in the play ground, and when all the children came back into class, all of them were really mad and been really nasty to (my) boy. I ask what had happen and they said that he had spent the whole play time going around hitting all of us. So I asked (my) boy if this was true and he said yes, but they are all doing it too, why can't I. So as we got to the bottom of it, the other kids were play tic, but all (my) boy saw was everyone just running around hitting everyone. So after explaining the cross communication, all the kids said sorry to (my) boy because by now he was crying. This was in the kinder of at the being of term and they were 8yrs old. Because of the miss understand was so big, all kids said, if anything happened like they would tell a teacher at the start and not at the end of something happening. Which they did most of the time. ( Nipping it in the bud!) Your Kids school needs to do a hell of a lot more, it is there job to keep your son safe. I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. My kids are now 30 and 32yrs and they both are not having children themselves, as they say live is just too hard. Sorry this was so long winded. Take care🥰

Honestly, as neurodivergent kin, this felt easy to follow

When you lose your place and the thought process you follow to get back there is EXACTLY how I work. I understand why you might think NT people are not going to like this, but WE AUTISTIC people do. Very seriously, well done! And you are a fantastic parent.

You have no idea how much this type of video helps. Before I was five I would get a slap on my face if I so much as covered my ears to shut out a person. I was forced to mask to avoid punishment, and over 30 years later I literally don't know what it means to be me, because I don't even know how to unmask. Hell, three years ago I didn't even know I have autism, so I didn't even know I HAVE something to unmask! This video helps a lot trying to figure that out. So thank you!

I'm a 28F (almost 29) and while I'm not officially diagnosed, I've suspected I'm on the spectrum ever since I learned about how women on the spectrum differ from men 7 years ago. When I was growing up, girls didn't 'get' autism. I was just 'weird'. Even though I have 2 siblings and both of them have been diagnosed with autism and adhd. This isn't even super relevant to what I'm trying to say. I've just been feeling a bit of imposter syndrome, even though it all adds up and makes my lived experiences finally make sense. Anyway, I was in a period of denial for a long time, but I had another breakdown recently where I decided enough was enough. These past few days I've been watching countless RU-vid videos and writing out a document. Writing down every connection I can find in myself and in my life to the experiences of other people on the spectrum. Planning on using it in the future to explain to others 'SEE, I'M NOT CRAZY' and eventually (when financially able) seek a formal diagnosis. Really, just to finally be understood. Watching these unmasked videos from you is like watching myself talk to... myself when I'm alone. I don't know if this is a common thing in autistic people (I haven't looked into this specific topic yet), but your mannerisms, thought process, and how you talk things out. I do all of that and always have in private. But in front of other people I've always been very reserved and quiet, almost never talking. No one would ever believe this is the real me. Anyway, I still need to watch the whole video, because I'm only 8 minutes in and I know it's going to be good, but I just wanted to say out of all the countless videos I've watched by autistic people, these are the ones that I have appreciated the most. They make me feel less alone and that's invaluable to me in a world that has only ever made me feel painfully isolated. tl;dr: he just like me frfr (and thank you so much for being brave enough to show it)

You had me laughing through the pain. This is raw truth. I mask until I can't. The love you feel for you family comes through strong.

This is what is happening to my 8 year old son. As a mother I can feel your pain for your son. It's heart breaking and your right the world is being run by loads of dumb parents that don't understand and have no interest in understanding. Keep smiling for your sons my friend

I can’t tell you how much I enjoy these videos… actually that’s a stupid phrase. I can tell you and I will. These raw videos bring me joy because I can relate. It makes me feel normal. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could unmask all the time! Thank you for this part two, I hope to see more!

Absolutely fantastic yet again. Really helps me as a late dx AuDHD with my unmasking and self acceptance. Also faced similar situations as a kid as you and your son with being picked on/cut out at school - as many of us autistics seem to have been. Thank you for being so brave and letting us see your authentic self. It is really helpful - and I loved the comment about the space rocket cake 🤣Please do a third instalment - if you feel up to it.

School is horrible for anyone who is different. The two things I try to bring to my son are that home is shelter, and I will always be his ally. The thought that anyone would abuse my boy because of his differences rips me up inside. Honestly, it's so hard not to hate them for the suffering they cause. These memories are something he will have his entire life. A living record of negative reinforcement.

This is a brilliant video - self advocating is simply asking to be treated with the same degree of respect afforded to non autistic people; that they take for granted. It is so good you said what is often considered unsayable. I admire your authenticity and candour.

I was never invited to birthdays and the teacher let the popular kids hand out the invitations IN CLASS. I sat there with bated breath when they came my way. Then they passed me. I was devastated. They also had flowers that you can order for all your friends and they passed them out in class. I never got a single one. My mom complained to the school. They basically told her i was a jerk. Icried my self to sleep every night of the 8th grade. So i unfortunately relate.

Here I am crying again watching this 2nd video. I mask to please people - but I don't have an educative RU-vid channel on autism, I am only a 'quiet' (to please people) 45 year old woman who is trying to survive this complex and exhausting social interaction filled circus. The other day I was in the hospital for a pain-relief injection, it was very crowded, the toilet I had to use had very cheap and hard toilet paper and there were wet spots on the ground, the soap to wash my hands was bright pink and the water running from the faucet was too cold, back in the room where I had to wait there was a fly on the outside of the window trying to come in (I wondered why a fly would want to come inside a hospital, go away I wanted to shout), there was annoying elevator music playing in the background, there was a pen on the edge of a table about to fall on the ground but the secretary did nothing about it, there was an ugly painting of some fruit on the wall with dust collecting on the lower edges, there was a pile of different coloured folders, but they were not sorted correctly, each chair in the waiting room area was a different color, the one I liked was taken up by a young child, the doctor came in looking overwhelmed, she recognized my face but didn't remember what procedure I was in for, she then turned her back on me and I saw a tiny little hole in her white doctor's coat, a woman using crutches came into the room staring and smiling at me, I smiled back, she complimented my colourful shoes, I smiled even more (go away!!! shouted my brain), I wanted to compliment her back, but didn't see anything I liked about her, then the nurse called me into the examination room, I went in, there were 4 other nurses there, all staring at me, I asked where do I put my handbag, no one answered, I asked again, none of the nurses gave me a clear answer, I then put it on this desk, they all shouted 'no no', I pulled my bag away, started hugging my bag, 'the doctor will place the sterilised needles on that desk', they took my bag away from me and put it on a chair (a chair????), they told me to take off my shirt and sit down, I was naked under my shirt, so I only lowered my shirt, still covering most of my body, they told me to sit still, they told me to move to the right, they told me to take off the shirt completely, they told me to calm down, they told me to breathe, they told me to calm down, they asked 'are you ok?', they told me to calm down, someone asked 'should we measure your blood pressure?, please calm down, come on breathe for us ..... I then bolted out of the room, out of the hospital yelling im sorry, im sorry, it's me, it's me, not you, me, me, me ..... I couldn't mask any longer. Everything was sooo overwhelming. It felt like I was trying to keep this little monster in me - who wanted to clean the toilet, put the pen away from the edge, organize those folders, clear off the dust etc - hidden from the world. But the monster was too strong for me .... I bolted and cried at the bus stop while people were staring at me. No idea how I got to that bus stop. No idea how I managed to come home. All I know is that I wish today didn't happen. This video is so crucial for people to understand what happens to us, how our brain and thoughts work. Thanks as always. (and yes I'm still crying)

Thank you for doing this again Orion, it must take some bravery on your part. Also I am enjoying your book❤

This is great

Anyone else get through the "unedited, unscripted, unmasked, unwatchable" disclaimer with a neurospicy crack of the "challenge accepted" knuckles?! Loving these videos, Orion. Thank you so much for having the courage to make them. Your regular videos are absolutely superb, and have been so immensely helpful in navigating the post-diagnosis lack of help/support/information. But there's something so immensely healing and validating about these unmasked ones, and I love that you recognise this is as valuable and important to your autistic audience as the regular informative ones are to a wider audience.

I’m a late diagnosed autistic woman and everything you said cut straight to my heart. I grew up believing that I was a monster. I believed that I was just going to lose control and harm someone and not even realize that I had done it because of the way I was treated when I was a kid. It’s taken years of therapy to get past that. I get it Orion.

We get to see the mental and emotional effort and energy it takes from you to provide Edited content. Thank you for sharing your Authentic, unedited Self. You’re wonderful. 😊

Kids birthday parties were a nightmare. I was never invited. The few I did go to it was "invite the entire class" type situations. But honestly, It was painful and no amount of my parents "making it up to me" would ever actually make it better... because on Monday morning all the girls would be talking about "the party". I hope you do more of these videos.

Your kids’ school is awful. At least our kids’ schools were really good about zero tolerance for bullying. But trying to get extra support for my daughter was a challenge, and I was often misinterpreted (I’m AuDHD) as being controlling and who knows what else. But luckily they evaluated her as on the spectrum and gifted. Next year she’s going to a special program classroom at a different school where it’s a very small class, has a specially trained teacher, and is supervised by a psychologist. There’s no going from class to class all day, either. Just one classroom. I’m really hopeful this is going to help.

This reminds me of how intense my emotions were when I was a kid, and all the crazy sht I thought about doing because of how I was treated by the other kids. I remember I once snapped into a bloody rage and clawed up my classmates face. I remember that there was blood but I don't remember anything else he was my friend and I didn't hate him at all I think I was just teased too much and bottled that up. In my mind everything is intense but I think the mask I wear is very nonchalant. I have always thought and even told people before that if I where to do and say whats in my head then no one would like me.

I'm a late-diagnosed female and have been unmasking for nearly thirty years. Your videos are so helpful, especially the un-edited ones. Thank you so much for what you do.

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 I am so sorry this is happening to your family Orion.

Hi Orion, fantastic video, as always. I've been watching your content for about six months now after my Psych helped me to realise that I'm Autistic. Now, at the age of 30 I finally feel like I know myself and can be who I really am. You and your content have been a tremendous help in my journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Know that you are reaching people, helping and making a difference. Keep up the good work. P.S. - I believe you mentioned in one video a while back that you're originally from Wollongong? I'm from the Gong myself. Good to see the representation haha.

Ps: A parent like you is what we all wished for as kids! You're doing a great job being a father (as far as we can see here) and it is giving hope to see how truely you love your kids!❤meow😻

I have been the recipient of group social rejection, both when I was a child and when I was an adult. I was never invited to kids birthday parties as well. Once I gained some level of social intelligence, I had more acceptance in middle school, high school and in my young adulthood. It started up again in my mid 30's when I stopped trying so much. Instantly, the rejection returned. Tysm for this video.

It's like looking into a mirror watching the unedited vids. I mask it with everyone, but the when I'm alone, your mannerisms and frustration comes out just like mine. Thank you for doing these videos! It helps!

Before my diagnosis (at 37) I had been tested for street drugs any time I would end up at the hospital because of a meltdown in a public space (brought by the police). People often think I'm on drugs when I can't speak and do a lot of stereotypic movements.

I love these videos so much. As lately diagnosed adult, they really help me open up and dare to be me (in appropriate and secure situations), and with self acceptance. 😍 The content is also great. It's so easy to follow the video and the talk, because it's just like my brain and thought pattern. I get really focused and tune completely in. Thank you very much. You have besides inspired me to also talk about autism and my experiences, which i intend to do on my still small Channel. I had my final exams (forever hopefully) one month ago (Software developer) and this month since have been full of parties and celebrations of me and birthdays (4 in total), slowly I recover and look so much forward to do some more videos. I was diagnosed around Easter. I turn 33 the 19. of this month. I have a daughter, 9 years old. This message got unintendedly long, and now my brain is confused 😅, so I'll cut to round of. Thank you very much for all your work and sharings, it seriously helps so undescribable much! 😍🥳🌞

I'm 35, recently realizing I'm probably autistic. I can relate with your stories so thoroughly. I grew up being told that I had a temper. I live with the burden of knowing I hit/retaliated against multiple kids. I went from 13-30 knowing I was a monster, trying to justify it, since they were all bullies. I'm just glad that kids now are being diagnosed and validated at a more effective rate. Maybe they won't have as deep of scars. Thanks for being you, Orion.

What a lot of neurotypical people can't understand is how informative and traumatizing these early years can be, and how much adults play a part in how kids are treated by their peers. I was not diagnosed autistic yet as a child, and I remember having issues with my teachers as early as my first day in the first grade. I had to sit in the corner and wear the "naughty" hat because the teacher thought I had traced a drawing (I hadn't) and then lied about it. The kids immediately began ostrazising me as a result of that one inciting incident because I kept defending myself. Later on the playground, a boy was so mean to me about it and kept trying to hit me in the head with a ball that I had a meltdown and scratched his arm in self defence. I spent five years at that school, bullied and ostrazised, just as much from the teachers as from the students. I had two more meltdowns and scratching moments during those five years (just to be clear, I never drew blood, just left red streaks) which only deepened the ostrasization. With the exception of one deep part of myself, I had fully internalized that I was "evil" and "naughty" and "wrong," and that was the source of my very deep, dark, depression as a teen, and something that took years to unpack in therapy as an adult.

Boy I felt this. As a pre-K, I was assessed to enter K a year early but was held back due to social skills, and a fat lot of nothing the extra year did me. Kids ran away from me on the playground and yelled at me when I didn't know the rules of the games. High school my so called "friend group" had parties without me, even a senior prom afterparty where everyone was invited except me and my date. I was just diagnosed last year and have had to put so many pieces of my past into context. Oh, and one of my passions is food, so the cheesecake that is a 12-hour no bake might actually be easier technique wise than the baking in a water bath. The texture tends to be different, and you do have to plan for the overnight chill though.

Orion... My heart goes out to you, your family and to others who have challenges with our unaware NT society. Your videos, especially the unmasked ones, teach us a lot and show the life-long effects clueless and uncompassionate NT people have on those with autism or to those who have an autistic loved one. Thank you for helping us understand, and for helping parents of autistic children understand how to share this important message and lesson to NT people. You are a great blessing to the world. ❤

Orion, please make this a regular video format. I am late-diagnosed autistic too. I like all of your videos, but it’s SO MUCH EASIER to keep my concentration on these unedited videos, than it is with your RU-vid friendly videos. I know you need both. Just keep these going, please! You rock.

Pardon a second comment, but I do think that that drug addict question was genuine. It actually happens to me. Of course, is one of those "a nerotypical would never be asked this" questions, but I do see it as innocent because... Yeah. I've actually had to walk a line at a traffic stop because they assumed I was on drugs just because I act odd. "Are you high?" Has been asked in interviews. It is actually more common than you might think and I think they were asking out of curiosity.

The 'unwatchable' series is nothing short of incredible. Seeing real raw representation means so much to me. I thought I was the only one who's supposed friend made a hate club about me, complete with signatures. It's sad that I'm not alone in that. The internalized ableism is very real.

in 5th grade, my friends, all of a sudden (to me), made a club named ihb for “i hate [me]”. in my late 30s now and still don’t know why that happened. that kind of thing doesn’t ever leave you.

I appreciate your authenticity in your unedited videos, but your regular videos are much easier to follow. They're both important for different reasons & I resonate with a lot of what you covered here. I'm still being left out of things all the time, usually people forget about me - I'm not sure if that's worse than being deliberately excluded 🤣

When I was in primary school I had a very close friend. The only friend I ever really had. One day I cam to school and she just stopped talking to me or spending time with me. She sat with the "cool" kids and just ignored me. She acted all rude towards me when J wanted to ask her what I have done wrong. Till this day, and I'm 30 now, I don't have the slightest idea what I have done wrong accept being myself. The kids used to call me weird, but I didn't care because I had a friend on my side. From that moment on I realized I was going to be alone and just deal with that. I'm still traumatized by that. I never had a real friend since. Only messed up and abusive relationships, because that's a great way to have a friend.🙄(not really)

One thing I have learned in my life is to never underestimate the stupidity of some people. Thank you for providing a perfect example. I would also consider it a privilege to have a friend like you. You are a winner Orion, period.

The story you told about your son and your wife, that has happened to me my whole life. People ignoring me and walking right past me to talk to other people. Causing me to feel unimportant my whole entire life. I'm 61 years old now. I have a lot of autistic grandchildren, I think that is very unusual. And I see them at school and I see things like this happening to them. I'm so grateful for your videos. Thank you so much❤

Powerful. I'm sorry your son is going through that. At almost 50, I'm learning that I am autistic. I was able to mask pretty well throughout my childhood, but I find I can't do it as well anymore, even though I try. In the last couple of years, I feel more and more like a monster. Thank you for your raw honesty and vulnerability. It helps me more than you know.

And when you were actually invited to an event... You felt like a fraud. Or you didn't trust or believe it was out of true intentions

Thanks for sharing this. As an autistic mum I’ve now dispelled any and all regrets about homeschooling my autistic 9 year old son for fear he’s missing out on social interaction. He has a few groups we go to weekly and the home schooled kids seem much more accepting of people with differences and he’s never been bullied by any of them. Get your kids out of these toxic environments if you can and let them grow as they should.

Personally, I love these unedited uploads as it shows reality and I learn even more about myself. The similarity in behaviours etc…thank you so much for these. Learning so much more, bloody star mate ⭐️ 39:26 the monster bit resonates with me, different situation though. My abusive ex used to hit me and use psychological shit on me and push and push and push….until I ended up having a meltdown and react angrily, but then turn that around onto me by calling me a monster, evil, nutter etc….yeah Orion, I get what you’re saying. So sorry your 4yr old had/has to endure that….it’s VERY wrong. He’s got great parents! 45:30 not the same but I have been accused of being selfish and uncaring, even by my own family…and that shit hurts. They say it because they have issues to deal with (and I really feel those issues they go through) ranging from dealing with brothers wife’s mum going through stage 4 dementia, work stresses, death etc etc….I get triggered by their trauma and really feel it! Man what an upload…learned a LOT today!

It saddens me to hear how other kids and their parents are to your son. The schools and administration, teachers etc need to do better. They must enforce a no bullying policy and educate their students on children with disabilities and how they should be treated just like everyone else . Calling your son a monster? That should be addressed to the principal or whoever is in charge there ! We need to keep advocating for our children and never stop.

As an autistic single mother raising 2 autistic boys, I can absolutely relate. Thank you for your honesty.

Talking about your son and your family's experiences with school almost brought me to tears. The bullying from adults while my son was in school was shocking. A teacher actually put my son in a box during class. Literally put an appliance box over his desk for a week during class before I found out about it. He was 7. He didn't want me to go to the school because 'the education of the kids around him was important'. You know that didn't come from his little mind. I most certainly did go and take care of that. They banned him from the book fair because he might just steal. He had never stolen anything in his life. It's heartbreaking. I ended up homeschooling from 8th grade on, which was a very hard decision but otherwise I just couldn't get him to go anyhow because it was so horrendous.

This one really hit home. My child was recently dx'd with autism/ADHD. I had many conservations with the school principal concerning the bullying my child was experiencing. I would say, it is fine they dont like her but they will not touch her our her things. I was a momma grizzly. Not sure if I made things better or worse.

if my kids school didn't understand meltdowns id rage against the ignorance. if they try to guilt you i would say well find a new profession if you can't be bothered doing your job. advocate for all your students welfare and emotional well-being not just the one's who make your job easy. To be fair if i saw someone talking to my kid i wouldnt automatically go over but id eyeball and see if engagement was encouraged plus to offer a smile acknowledging they are interacting with my kid. not everyone wants to be approached especially if your kid went up to them. i understand this senario though is apart of overall inclusion that isn't happening.

Hey, I love to hear you rant - it is like my brain all the time!

You ranting about the cheese cake made me laugh, I'm sure ppl at work thought I was crazy. But unmasked is normal, it's how we are all the time, so why not normalise it?

This upset me and made me stressed and angry, because I can relate to every d@mned bit of it. Thank you Orion.

Omg Orion I love these raw videos. Awesome to see behind all our masks.

I don't view this as uncomfortable. You're venting and that's healthy to do.

Orion, I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time. May I please just assure you of one thing? Your unconditional love & empathy for your son shows in his feeling comfortable coming to you and TELLING you about the bullying and how he feels. I grew up with a narcissist for a father & NEVER felt safe telling my parents I was being bullied all through high school because the mass bullying from both the other students at school, my sister, & father alike made me feel like I was a bad, defective person & DESERVED it! I didn't even feel safe telling my mother at the time, and about 30 years later when I DID tell her, SHE felt like an awful mother for not knowing, but it wasn't her fault she didn't realize she'd married a narcissist & neither did I realize he was a narc at the time. I genuinely thought my father was superior to everyone else on earth until I found out that "silent treatments" are a standard weapon in every narcissist's arsenal for controlling others. I suffered from "selective mutism" at school, especially with males, throughout high school & ended up getting voted "Quietest" in my graduating class, and I too had only ONE friend at a time, if I found anyone willing to be seen with me, usually other "misfits," which usually changed every school year. And I didn't get invited to anything either, while my poor mother was constantly being called down to my primary school to pick me up from the principal's office! Your son is so lucky to have you not just as a dad, protector, ally, & advocate who is spreading awareness about & acceptance of autism. I even learned something myself from this video: that my lashing out & attacking other kids who were bullying me, including my younger sister in the presence of the rest of the family in which I was the black sheep, seemingly out of nowhere & then being the one to be punished for it, was actually caused by autism! I was just wondering out loud what caused me to do those things & feeling guilty about it & wondering what the **** was WRONG with me, including almost DROWNING my sister in the pool as a kid because I physically CAN'T swim & HATED being in the pool & she kept splashing "tidal waves" into my face & getting my cousins to join in with her, was caused by AUTISM!!! Wow, mind blown. I still hate myself, but at least now I know I'm not a homicidal monster! THANK YOU for NOT GIVING UP on educating people about autism. It seems like you've barely gotten started compared to other autistic RU-vidrs who helped me figure out I'm autistic in the first place. It's SO hard to advocate for ourselves when we ourselves are autistic. But, trust me, you ARE making a difference!!! I had more to say after I first watched this, but I've been thinking so much about this video for the last few days since I first watched it and it just hit me that your son felt safe telling you that he was being bullied and DOESN'T have too much toxic shame to tell you. I wish I'd had a loving father & autistic role model in my life like he does! You are an awesome dad and human being. Please don't be so hard on yourself.❤ Now WHERE do you PREFER that we buy your book? Do you want me to order it from your website or from Amazon? I watched your most recent video, & I'm sorry for expressing my shock at the cost of mailing it internationally. (I have a friend who's self-published through what I call "Scamazon" & also makes no money from it, but she also goes through Smashwords so I can buy her books for my Nook as I don't have a Kindle, and the laptop app is no use to me because I can't read on my laptop due to the backlighting & physical disability as well. Because America and Australia both use "dollars" as currency, I failed to take the exchange rate (which is constantly changing) into consideration. I'd love a signed copy & will gladly pay the $20 for postage, but if you're feeling burned out & aren't up to taking it to the post office, I'll order it from Amazon. And when it becomes widely available as an e-book, I'll order another one for my Barnes & Noble Nook, which is the only way I can read without physical pain. I'm really looking forward to getting a copy one way or another.

Unwatchable? I beg to differ, sir.

Dude, I love you so much. Thank you for making these. I carry so much shame from growing up like that, and though my son is an adult now, that trauma and fear constantly clouded my parenting when he was a child. I just internalized that message that there’s something wrong with me, with us, that we have to hide and control ourselves, and the pain of messing up a social interaction still reduces me to an absolute child, it’s very hard to navigate or to explain. You, unmasked, talking about this it’s like i wish i could say how much it resonates inside my entire life. Please continue to be yourself, you are healing so many people just by existing. I’m glad your kids have such a loving and supportive dad, and mom! It can make all the difference in the world to have parents who love and accept you.

Please say hello to your older son from me. If he's a monster, he's part of the coolest gang of monsters on the planet. This made me cry, not only for him but also because of all the memories it brought up from 40-45 years ago me.

34:37 I don't even cry but at that point I did feel actual tears welling up in my eyes. I feel bad for that kid.

I wish your son luck in finding kind friends and having good birthday parties. I loved going to my best friend’s birthday parties. She was also autistic. Her mom told her that if she didn’t want a big party with a lot of kids and noise she could choose one friend and we could do whatever we wanted. We almost always drove to the city to go to the zoo. We had an amazing time and it didn’t leave use overwhelmed enough to have a meltdown. It was a perfect substitute for a party.

Now that I know I am autistic, I find it harder than ever to fit in, let alone even know who the heck I am. Then it came to me, I actually do know my authentic self. I had to really think to find a version of me that was 100% just real me. Authentic me is that guy who is who he is when it's just him and his dog. It took a while but I finally pinpointed a no bones, authentic version of me.

Something that struck me as I was watching this is that people said they felt like they had been seen while I felt I see me. I am not trying to devalue how others feel, and I know this is a somewhat semantic take, but there it is. Thank you for your vulnerability and courage. Being in my skin is a little easier today because you made this.

34:43 and on really made me cry. And I'm someone who has a lot of trouble externalizing my emotions. The time my paternal grandparents died (They weren't as close to me as other relatives), I did feel bad, and I could empathize with my dad, however I barely had any emotion, internal or external. I think I just have a different concept of life and death. But back to why it made me cry: It hit quite close as someone who was bullied in middle school, there wasn't a "Tachysphex is a bastard club" as far as I'm concerned, but I know what it is like to be called a monster because you're different, and how you end up convicing yourself that it is true indeed. To this day, I still have this voice in my mind telling me "people don't like you", "Don't do that, it's weird", "I ruin everything", even though I don't think of myself as a monster anymore.

I very much related to the teasing and bullying points. In my experience schools act like a kid can handle infinite micro-aggression from all sides. It's really just an active enforcement of emotional violence. Basically every time I recall being the one in trouble, it was for reacting after being harassed. These are things adults can't handle, and we expect kids to manage without considering challenges or the actual dynamic of what plays out. It's bad enough for neurotypical kids, but to blame ASD kids for not knowing the unspoken rules you subsequently never examine, or not actively skating around the breakable and bendable rules, just makes me feel angry and ill. It's systems of power blaming the victims, because even understanding what is happening might take real work, and might set some expectation of decency and accountability to justice for authority

I have realized that because of the short duration of most interactions, most people don't get to know me. I struggle with small talk and short interactions so most people get either a negative first impression because I rub people the wrong way or don't give me enough time to express myself. This has caused me to withdraw due to being misunderstood CONSTANTLY plus the demanding nature of having a meaningful relationship with someone, be it friends family etc. Most people don't have the time anymore to get to know each other. I think social media has only made this exponentially worse.

Pausing at 25:23. May offer my perspective. As a child, I never had big birthday parties nor did I want to be invited to big birthday parties. I've always been uncomfortable in large crowds and though as an adult, I've found coping mechanisms when I'm forced into those situations, they still make me uncomfortable and exhaust me. So going back to the birthday party situation. Growing up, I really only had one true friend. When my birthday rolled around, my dad would take us to a movie of my choice and to eat at a restaurant of my choice. Maybe the solution with regards to your son is to coordinate with their parents for a seperate, low-key get-together with your son and his one or two friends just to hang out, exchange gifts, etc. I'm not talking about two full blown birthday parties, but just a "play date" if you will. Maybe even suggest you could host so you can define the time length and the pace of things. Thanks for your channel. I've learned a lot from it and at nearly 60, I'm actually thinking about getting professionally evaluated to hopefully get some answers as to why I've lived life as a square block trying to fit into the round hole of the neurotypical world.

Lol. I dont have a lot of friends and most of them are neurodivergent for the exact reasons you have discussed. You my friend are a class act for speaking so candidly. You didnt even seem as ahitated as you think you were. Uij did such a great job. Lmao. Thanks O'rion. So very much. I wanted to cry so much but we become so callus having lived thrpugh this. All that i let myself do was get angry with you. But inside i was weeping reliving these experiences with you and of mynown experience. I love you dude. From here in canada.

Thank you so much for all the hard work you put in. I have been watching your youtube, and now I understand my friend much better.

Your stories about your older son remind me so much of stories my spouse has told me about his own primary school experiences. At 68, he still carries the scars of believing that any unedited, unmasked responses will scare people. Yes, I'm not always sure why he has a meltdown -- but watching your videos really helps me understand. Not to mention doing a lot of reading, and realizing that the same things which make him melt down cause me to shut down.

The cheesecake segment is totally relatable. 12 HOURS!!! Totally relatable.

How often do you have meltdowns now in your adult age? While having autism (Aspergers specifically) myself I don't remember having meltdowns like you describe them in the video. Love the content and I can relate to most of your experiences on the topics you talk about!

All of the best to people in the comment section. Hi!

I guess I am thoroughly surprised that in 2023...in this day and age...your son's class would not have somehow found a way to explain some of these things to the parents of the other children up front at the beginning of each school year (perhaps a simple one-page handout being mailed or sent home, etc.) with a request for the "other" parents to have a simple short conversation with their child in hopes of avoiding these issues! (Such as they might do for a child in a wheelchair, etc.) As an autism advocate Orion, have u approached such topics in the past w the school/s?

Just Another Random person here but, I still can't thank you enough Orion. I found myself deleting lots of following random blah blah words, from my comment. But thank you for helping me not feel... "alone" Your words feel like a warm and accepted hug

Orion, roll on No. 3. 🎬 You have more friends than you could ever probably envisage Your true self with stories equally experienced. Your Yorkshire autistic mate from t'other side of the 🌍 world ( a globe full of great autistic folks) 🤔

My daughter recently had a meltdown at school. She locked the bathroom stalls AFTER someone was copying her (REALLY annoys her) and the teacher took away her stimming thing she was doing. Shes never done that before. Then she couldn’t play outside. So she came home very upset that day. And after hearing her side of things, I know she had a meltdown because I had one the day before and I asked her questions about how she felt. She says “I don’t even know what happened. All I know is I was extremely upset and had to get it out.” I’m trying to get my daughters dad on board with homeschooling her because I can already see molding happening and I don’t want that for her. We recently had a meeting (it wasn’t helpful). They are choosing when she can stim and when she can’t! I’m furious. I’ve already told them via writing. If I had 10% more say, she’d be homeschooled today, but I don’t. So I feel helpless to help her. Other than being in her corner, I don’t know what to do.

Thank you for this. It's brought up so many memories of similar childhood experiences; interactions that just hurt, views of myself that I learned from other kids (and their parents) and internalized. I'm so sorry your older son is going through this crap with his schoolmates and their idiot parents. I take some comfort in your advocacy, in the understanding that the issue isn't that people with autism exist, it's that society treats people with autism badly (as society is prone to do with anyone who doesn't fit the "typical" mold).