Gay Student Stands Up To Homophobic Counselor. 

My music teacher refused to let me and my boyfriend work in pairs during the lesson. We asked him why and he said I will tell u afterwards. So after the lesson he said that he felt uncomfortable because we’re gay. I told him that we’re not out to anyone yet so don’t mention it to the class and the next week he said in front of the entire class “Ben and Conner you two can not work together. I told you last week!” Then everyone looked at us and he said “does anyone feel comfortable swapping partners. Preferably a girl so I know nothing is going to happen between them”. I was so mad that I stormed out the class and when he came to talk to me he said “It’s not my fault your gay. I’m just trying to protect the other students”. He’s the worst teacher ever. I think all homophobic people just need a little sense in there lives! I’m 14, what did he expect me to do!?

A counselor is supposed to be open, caring, helpful, and loving to everyone.

How could a homophobe even get approved to be a counsellor? That's beyond me.

That "therapist" ought to have his license revoked!

there are shitty counselors here in canada too. a therapist i saw after my first suicide attempt asked me why i only took a dozen of my pills instead of the whole bottle. another i saw for abuse at home tried to excuse it as 'boys will be boys'. there are people in this profession who should not have this job and do more harm than good. i'm glad that despite a homophobic counselor, you found your own inner strength. you're amazing. keep on keeping on.

The "counsellor" needs therapy to treat his own homophobia!

I've never been bullied for being gay, I have no idea what it's like. It's upsetting watching these as I know how fortunate I am

Should have gotten that idiot fired. Not everyone is as strong as you... that 'counselor' could do some serious damage.

All the counseling, therapeutic, psychological, and psychiatric associations agree that sexual orientation is not changeable. This is part of their ethical code. Therefore, any counselor that tells you what this one did should be reported to their professional association and the association will take away their credentials. Imagine how much damage this "counselor" has done through the years.

I am in school to be a counselor. This makes me so upset. Those are people who should not be counselors, doctors, nurses, and caregivers. I am so glad this man stood up to the counselor and tried to get it to not happen again. Proud of you.

I hope that incompetent counselor is no longer there!

"The idea that somebody told me that there was something wrong with me or sick about me was more than her Italian temper could take..." Them Italians are feisty! My friend's mom is from Sicily and I can't imagine what would happen if my friend told her this...

I am so happy that you knew that there is NOTHING wrong with being gay. Imagen some kid actually believing the counselor.. D:

Powerful story, but it's easy to see you're a strong person. Glad to hear you're happily open. Also, you're sinfully gorgeous.

The 'counsellor' needs to be fired and advised to back for more 'proper' schooling!

I had the same problem with my stomach hurting all the time. Its from holding in all of the shame and guilt that people put on us. Only defending our dignity gets rid of it.

More power to you. You are a gutsy guy!

This is the cutest guy ever. He has a very mysterious sex appeal big time. Such an innocent easy going demeanor. And he has a very smart mama!

Fun fact: did you know that homosexuality exists in 43 different species?

Sadly, we see another example where those caught up in the sin of homophobia are abusers. While these strident, open homophobes demand tolerance from decent people, is it really appropriate to allow them in positions where they can harm vulnerable patients and maybe even push them to suicide? Shouldn't we be trying to cure the homophobe before he/she harms others?

I'm gay. I've seen a therapist and the only thing they're ever interested in asking me is if/when I was raped or molested. I've never been raped or molested but that's what they expect to hear. It's sad and why I don't go to any type of counseling. People cannot keep their personal opinions to themselves even on a professional level.

The lgbtq 🏳️‍🌈 community is probably one of the nicest community there is

Please just remember that not all counselors are that unskillful! Good for you for taking care of yourself in such a vulnerable situation!

I'm gay and I'm proud! Shout it out and shout it loud!

Story aside, this guy looks great in that t-shirt.

I'm so pleased you rose above the bad counselling advice. Good for you! Bad counselling advice is sadly a very common problem. I have worked in a small provincial university, and sometimes I think that no counselling at all is better than poor counselling. Good luck, and keep well.

NEVER EVER hide who you are!!!! Congratulations on having the courage to come out 100%!!!!

Good for you for standing up for yourself, and good for you for coming out, and good for your mother for standing by you! I appreciate the courage it takes for somebody to come out.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being homosexual

Well done. A lot of people don't have your inner strength and clarity. Thanks for posting, every message we can send to people who are struggling in doubt helps.

Did you guys know on the "God's not dead" movie in the "real life stories" it actually features this in there and it defends the therapist🙄 no Joke

Bravo ! I am so glad you shared this. There are so many ignorant people out there.. and uneducated counselors.

That counselor needs to have their license taken away. What a POS. Kudos to this gentleman for being civil. I wouldnt.

...he's pretty cute. Just saying lol

That counselor needed to be reported. He has no business counseling anyone.

As a parent ally (I guess that's what I am), this absolutely breaks my heart.

A lovely, sensitive man. I'd be proud to be his mother

That "counselor" is a disgrace to his profession and should be fired!

Professional counsellors (and I am one of them) must set aside their own values when counselling others. It is never about what the counsellor approves of or not. It is always about the clients and from their own perspective. It is unprofessional to impose directly or indirectly one's views on the often vulnerable people who come to us to seek help. I would have asked Nephi what it feels like to be himself. I would have been interested to know about the strengths and challenges in his life. The main focus initially would have been "who is Nephi?" and from his own perspective, untainted by the pressures of others. The counselling room is supposed to be a safe space....

I'm sure that there's studies that prove that a majority of gay people come from abusive households, but to me that doesn't prove that they turned gay because of the abuse. Maybe, they were abused BECAUSE they're gay.. But that conclusion can only be made if you don't have a homophobic bias.

What if his counsel was trying to provoke him to be angry instead of being scared in order for him to better accept himself? I'm just saying.

My music teacher in high school (straight) knew from day one that I was gay; from the beginning he made me a section leader.

The counselor should have immediately been investigated and terminated by the university and also been reported to the appropriate state professional practice board for investigation and possible sanctioning. Some state legislators and governors especially in “trifecta states” (where both legislative bodies and the executive branch are controlled by the same party - and it’s not the one that begins with a d) have been quietly backtracking on holding up and fully enforcing professional standards and have threatened implicitly, and sometimes explicitly, other state offices and agencies that would normally do so in recent years. The professional standards boards must be held accountable and kept public and transparent and the GLBT community must be vigilant on this in all 50 states along with all of our allies. The same dynamic is also happening with women’s healthcare, contraception services, HIV care and state of the art STI/HIV prevention practice and health and mental health services for low income people. Even medical.schools have dropped basic clinical skill training in human sexuality and assessment of clinical interviewing skills related to best practices and standards of care in patient care delivery.

His counsellor was anything but qualified to counsel. Shameful! And I am so happy that Nephi had the confidence to call the so-called counsellor on his ignorance and prejudice.

Your mom is a hero. Thank god you have her support AND her defiance.

REPORT THAT COUNSELOR!!!!! That is 100% an ethical violation !!! He should lose his license !!!!!!!!!!!

who else came here cause the guy was cute?

i'm not gay....and no homophope...but for the life of me I cant even think why anyone who knows that they are gay would even consider going to therapy....what on earth can Therapy do...it cant 'cure' them of their feelings.... nor should it even be considered

That particular therapist should be struck off and barred from practicing! I am glad you got angry with this unprofessional and unethical person. I applaud your mother for her support of you - a great mother and a great woman!

aahh, lad, I am proud of you for standing up to the councillor, You clearly are a man who wasn't raised with violence, or would be a violent personality, You are amazing

That councillor thought he'd be counselling the gay outta those kids, but he was the one getting counciled!

Any counselor with this outlook and/or reaction has no business counseling anyone and especially there is no place for this mentality in the educational system of theUSA in the 21st century. I would report the person by name to the state department of Education of Tennessee and to the American Board of psychiatric medecine.

I'm glad you were strong enough not to take that shit from him specially during such vulnerable times. Amazing!

His biggest challenge was not coming out per se, but coming out in Tennessee.

Absolutely appalling. Just think how many people who aren't as able to stand up for themselves this "counselor" will have told the same thing to, and believed it. It's disgusting.

Very courageous young man. Well done and well said. In the USA the American Psychology Association has said the being gay is not a disorder or deviant behavior. This has scared the hell out of many homophobes.

I once met a young psychiatric student who was top of his class, working with me over the Summer as an Intern. He was overtly homophobic and yet he was due to become a psychiatrist. Can you imagine how he would have counselled a patient who was also homosexual? I was shocked by his attitude. This also happened in liberal minded Canada folks!

Homophobia is the epitome of ignorance. Ignorance begets fear. Fear begets hate. It’s a vicious cycle for those who have no interest in compassion

Thank you Nephi. You are alight in the world that will help many young people find that they are okay as gay people. It's examples like you that light the path for those to follow. I'm 65 and gay and have been all my life. I wish I had been able to listen to you when I was growing up in the mountains of N.C. in the 60's. You would have made my coming out so much easier. Luckily at 21, my parents brought me out of the closet with a lot of love and understanding. Bravo to you Nephi for sharing your story with us all.

Being gay is not a sickness perhaps it's a choice or something in the blood line. Personally i ang happy for who I am and I'm gay

Good for you for standing up to her.

I bet I spoke to the same homophobic counselor at MTSU back in the late nineties. Good on you for speaking up to him. I just didn't go back to see him again.

Your perfect just the way you are !

If your conselor tells you crap like that, ditch him and get a new one.

The moment I heard Tennessee....

Nephi, thank you for sharing your story.

go you! I'm straight myself but I COMPLETELY supporting gay or lesbian people! im even shipping two guys! Markiplier x Jacksepticeye!!! whos with meh!?

They came from violent backgrounds the most bulshit I've ever heard

I'm so glad that your mom was on your side! That's a very sweet twist on a rather bitter beginning.

I do hope you reported that so called Counsellor to their governing body. They should have been struck off but I suspect they were not even a qualified Counsellor. I'm happy to hear you had the strength to get up and leave that session.

VERY PROUD OF YOU!! MUCH LOVE*

Glad you used the incident with the counselor to engage in dialogue instead of looking for blood ... gay men are not china dolls ...

Living in a repressive society is depressing.

Moronic counselor. Should have been fired for incompetence.

I live not far from Murfreesboro. This area is really difficult for anyone who isn't a straight white Christian. I really hope whoever the "counselor" was (that's in quotation marks because clearly this person didn't know how to provide counseling) had it made clear to them exactly how wrong and inappropriate their comments were. To the guy in the video; you're not alone. There are a lot of other folks who don't fit the mold in our area. I hope things started looking up for you after you came out. 💜

That college "counselor" should have lost his job

What an awesome guy. We need more people like you. Thank you for sharing.

It was in 1990 when I finally accepted the fact that I am also Gay. I even had way too many problems from the so called loving family I was from. I wanted to die. Fortunately after way too many years of fighting for my rights, some of the negative thinking types passed on and now I can be myself. I do hope that my Mr. Right will pop in the picture soon so I can get married and settle down.

That's so awful tho, like generally people who go to are councellor are vulnerable & need help - imagne you worked up your courage, smallowed your pride & opened up to that person and they they judge & lecture you like, what a betrayal. Still, it's nice to see that this guy was still able to turn that awful situation into an opportunity for growth.

Whoever finds you Nephi.......will find someone with a heart.......we are what we are......God will be with us. You are a great young man

" He said gays were likely to be violent and abusive people.....I was very angry and i started yelling at him..." lol

he is so handsome...good on him for coming out..dude you are great

The counselor was right in his Comment if not his method. He saw a strength in this young man that Nephi did not see in himself. I bet that openly confronting the therapist with the exact words he really needed to hear. He would not have listened to the therapist but standing up for himself helped him break through the shell he was hiding under. He gained the strength to come out and tell his parents. I know a ton of people will openly disagree with me but I will say sometimes this form of shock therapy works.

I'm proud of you! (And proud of your momma too!)

How can someone be a "counsellor" and be that hateful to the people?

Tennessee southern gentleman. Proud we're fellow Tennessee peeps.... be blessed sir

Nephi, you are both brave and beautiful. CELEBRATE YOU!!!

the counselor was not being consistent with the APA. I would suggest filing a complaint with them as they may be able to address this.

WOW such a goodlooking guy. Seems to have a genuine good heart.

You should have reported the counselor to the college if it is a state college or even a non-religious college .. Thank your mother for going to the department

I came out to my parents when I was 16. As it happened, right at the same time I had suddenly lost a lot of weight on an already slim frame, so my father called a psychiatrist and basically said while you're at it. So the conversation between me and the psychiatrist was this: Psychiatrist: So I understand that you are gay. Me: Yes. Psychiatrist: Do you have any problem with that? Me: No. Psychiatrist: OK, let's talk about your weight. This was in 1976, when such a reaction was by no means guaranteed or even very likely. I was fortunate.

What a well-adjusted young man. At that age I was still trying to please everyone at the same time and had not yet discovered it was just impossible. I didn't have a sexuality issue, just a whole bunch of very narcisisstic and opinionated relatives. Still, I wish I had his presence of mind or sense of self back then. Family abused me for years, well into my 30's. I had to go "no contact" to end the abuse. More people should trust their own mind. I shudder to think of kids being sent to that "gay conversion" therapy. Everyone telling you that you are broken. Mine was only about things I did, but make it about sex and identity and you can really twist somebody's whole framework out of whack.

Wow! Thank you for setting things "straight".

The therapist should be called out by name

00:52 There are as many gay hating women as their are gay hating men. Also, if you're planning on going to a therapist for sexuality and/or coming out related concerns, ask up front if he (or she) is a "person of faith." Some christian universities are focusing on PhD programs in psychology. They want to counsel from a "christian perspective." That's double-talk for wanting to push christian dogma in what is supposed to be a field of science.

A counsellor with a social phobia? And a socially dangerous phobia? Doesn't he need some counselling?

I have only just watched this now - what an awesome, inspiring person this guy is - I hope he has remained a strong advocate for LGBTIQ+ community, particularly the youth for sure!

Thanks for your honest testimony; may I add that it has never necessarily due to a bad or violent family background iin my experience. At nearly 80, I can look back and objectively day that my family life and background were both normal for the '40's and '50's, yet I and my best friend (similar background) were gay. Looking back, no familial cause. Genetic? No history of homosexuality in either background. So little likelihood of familial causess in my case or my friend's. Please make that distinction: my parents ( unless genetically, over which they had no control) had no "blame"" in my homosexuality a

You are lovely and fierce sweetheart. I'm so proud of you being proud. Live your lovely life baby!!

For some a negative experience with a homophobic councillor can turn into something beneficial. For you it made you summon the courage to stand up for yourself as a gay man which in itself is highly therapeutic. Here's hoping the stigma, shame, fear and depression that had once seized control of you is now a thing of the past.