The worst moment of the day - waking up in the morning - the first moment of consciousness - and this knot in the pit of your stomach, and wishing you could sleep forever…
I feel you. I agree, for me the most difficult moment is the early morning. Even you wake up earlier than normally, your body wakes you up in alert just to feel that... It gets better when you get up and start doing things.. Lately there are times where I feel more understood from ppl on RU-vid than people around me...
Hey I’ve been there, I’m there again, I’d say if you live with someone, family etc, ask them to show up at your door at the time you wake up, so that right when you’re about to get up and deal with 2000 things in your mind, you see someone who talks about something else with you, this really helped me?
Been three months since my ex and I broke up. The pain has gone down, but every once in a while I get strong waves of sadness. Keep working on yourselves and don’t seek others. Trust I got desperate and even tried going out and it just made things worse. Build yourself up and be kind to yourself as well.
@@lv4230 It’s not easy bro. The thought of her still crosses my head. You have to focus on things that bring you happiness. Go workout, eat healthy, and hangout with friends/family. Also, don’t watch porn and jack off. Try to go on semen retention for a while (trust me on this one) Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex. Good luck bro!
Same here...2 months of pain on & off...then 1/2 month it was ok finally!! Then I contacted him 2 days ago....he is not interested...and the pain is back :( Hope it will end sooner this time...it's exhausting
Yes. Absolutely. Gave no real closure. And no time for us to discuss what is best for both of us. He was my best friend before dating. Nothing hurts more than having them want you to leaving you knowing that they are in pain not being with you, but knows it’s what’s best for right now.
Worse part of my life after my 5yrs relationship broke up, when you wake up in the morning, no text or call from someone you love, and knowing his not there forever i wanna plough my own grave😭😭😭
It’s a painful experience but it’s time to re love yourself, put the things together, get going, what I learned from those heartbroken breakups, is those 3 words - life goes on, make a peace with the emotions and don’t try to hide or run away, face it and deal with it
@@summerhall1371 if you love someone set them free, if they'll love you they'll comeback..it hurts but if this is the best for the both of us let them swim.
Happened to me a couple months ago. I then let him back in my life. It brought temporary comfort, but it won’t last. Just prolonging the pain. Wishing everyone in these situations the strength to move on. 💚
The pain won't last it will pass,don't hang on to that one person step aside and move forward, ,watch motivational videos,meditate,ground yourself,do yoga,make a list of what your grateful for (very powerful) go out with friends make yourself busy don't put your life on hold because that person you thought won't ever leave you has moved on without a thought, and remember when one door closes another opens,trust the process.
One I read this it's really helpful but I feel this one door that closes and the other opening is going in favor of my ex and not me. I feel she's my everything and I lost and she will find someone more better than me and I can't find anyone like her again 😞😞💔💔💔
@@jesussaves4485 I feel the same way my ex i moved with to Fl got a new good job got tempted by more successful men and cheated. Now she has a good job and is with a new guy she had already found. Its been 2 months and it still hurts but i try to think of small positives i opened up a lot with my parents when i was hurt and reconnected with them and grew our relationship and also my brother i haven’t talked to in 4 years we reconnected nd now i have my brother back. Sometimes the doors that open may not be a partner but maybe other relationships, job, or even Peace within. Just try to hold it together nd not panic when the sad waves hit, it’ll pass and just take it one day at a time hope you find your peace and happiness again 🙏
im 2 months into the break up after 6 years and a half relationship. everytime when things feel a lil better, the pain comes back 10x harder. its like an everyday nightmare
@@jellybelly100100 yeah, it gets better. slow but yeah. better than nothing. next month will be 1 year and all i can say is that i dont miss her anymore but the triggers are still there
@Irina Ira tried again, gave a 2nd chance and i guess the person was never serious. Their mind changed 180 degree and texted you break up messages instead of a call. I deserve a call at least. Just a coward and a jerk.
Hey Tiffany! How are you doing now? I just went through a similar situation and I need to move on from him. I also tried so hard to guard my heart and not let my guard down, but I still got hurt when he left saying he was too busy with work and cannot offer me any thing more than a hookup. He said he wanted a relationship with me and I believed in that. Hope you are doing better now.
Please be kind to yourself. You tried to protect yourself but things went wrong. We don't have control over the course of events. Be compassionate to yourself and try to do whatever is possible in this situation including analysing the situation. You are not alone dear friend. ❤️❤️
@@3Sisters.23 same sis. I am going through so much pain rn. It was a 4 year old long relationship. Where he was the one telling me to put my guards down. He even told me we'll get married in a year. But he broke up with me on text 19 days ago.
@@mxhek1604 hey! I am so sorry this happened to you. I would urge you to take solace in the fact that he broke your heart before you two were married. I know the pain hits you like a wave and is unbearable, but you can try to think of it this way - one should try to marry somebody who has the courage to keep things going strong, and the one who breaks up is not that person.
Just broken up (again) with the same man. I know it can't work. I've given everything I had. I am going to make my own 'happy' from now on. Will save my love for someone who wants to and has capacity to reflect it back to me. But now, I'm very very sad. Miss my man but know deep down this is right. It's hard to walk away from someone you love, but I have to love myself more.
I am going through this pain now.. Wanna move on.. I don't know how🙂.. But im not gonna chase that person who doesn't even care about me .. I ll get over
Feelings changes. Go through your tantrums. Analyze your relationship. Take the lessons out of this. Find new hobby's. Keeps your thoughts in a journal. Meditate. Be grateful for this and move on.
It's been a year. Even if I still have love for this half ass man. My worth meant more to me than someone who never appreciated what I brought to the table.
It has been 4 1/2 years for me. Time did not heal me. I still cry everyday. The panic is gone. But the debilitating grief is constant. I've accepted the pain of losing the relationship I always dreamt of having in this life. I've had to accept the pain and the reality of crippling loneliness. Acceptance is the only thing time has given me.
Theres something so darn relatable about Matt, his tone is so comforting and reassuring. Experience is the greatest teacher . Thanks for your years of service to us Matt.
I've had chronic physical pain for 8 years. 4 surgeries were performed and none of it helped. The pain and also feeling kinda hopeless changed me and changed my relationship. I never gave up. Showing up at multiple doctors and agreeing on a 5th surgery. 3 weeks after this 5th surgery my former bf of 8-9 years broke up with me and immidiately replaced me. Yes, i have been through hell. Not knowing if my body will ever work properly again, loosing the person I thought was the love of my life, had to quit my job and move in at my parent's tiny flat at age 34. My friends and family saved me from the worst. Fast forward one year: The surgery helped, I can finally enjoy life again. I found a really nice flat, also a new job. I know my true friends and am thankful every day. I do have a love life again. Matthew, if you are reading this (I really hope you do): Your videos have helped me a lot dealing with heartache, getting over my ex and working on my self worth. Thank you so much for your work 💛 Wish you all the best!
Since 2015, Matthew you have helped me with break ups and my own self worth. I’m going through a new break up of a 2yr relationship, it’s been 3 weeks. My perception on pain due to a lot of your help over the years has made me go through this without devastation and it’s more peaceful. My control over heartbreak pain. I’m truly blessed. Thank you always.
Great Content! If you’re going through a breakup… Personal Development is one of the best things you can do for yourself - because, we as human beings, we’re supposed to embrace growth! So make sure you find your Purpose in life - whatever it might be, and work on it daily, and continue to make progress, because progress is - really the key to happiness. But don’t do it for any girl or guy, make sure you’re doing it for yourself - and just be happy! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
It’s been 2 weeks & 3 days since the love of my life of 7 years ended our journey together. The hardest thing is it came out of the blue & the reason is something I can’t do a damn thing about…. There was a 15yr age gap, I was the older woman and he just said he can’t see himself retiring happy with me as I’ll be too old. He’s 35. I totally thought he was my future. We had a distance relationship mostly because he’s in the military but we coped really well with that & during the first lockdown he moved in with me. And ironically we grew closer & stronger during those 6 months.. so much so that we started looking at houses & even put an offer on one. I’m not your typical 50yr old, I’ve never been married, I couldn’t have children & I have a friendship group of mainly 30+ yr olds as I’m more like them. I really believed in the happy ending. We were best friends. We travelled the world over 7 years, laughed like drains, had so much fun. He was the male equivalent of me & on the day he left I told him he was the best thing to happen to me. And now I’m in darkness. I’ve had no contact with him for 2 weeks, the longest I’ve gone with no contact when he was in this country & I’m not afraid to admit I’m struggling. My whole future has changed in the blink of an eye & I feel like I’ve lost half of me. It’s painful to just breathe each day right now.💔
it's been two weeks since our breakup and no contact and im the older woman too. I'm 24 and he is 19, we too share a lot of things in common and the trust and understanding we have for each other. However, he ended things because he thinks that he is not ready for a romantic relationship. I hope we can both give each other a hug, everyday I can feel my heart breaking even though I told myself countless times that I support his decision and I try my best to look at the brighter side of things even though im hurting inside
This will pass! Everything on earth will passway only God's word stays the same! I broke up with my boyfriend of six months 3 weeks no contact. He has been on my mind I just reminded my self I broke up with that helps.
I’m in a similar situation. Together for 6 years. We had a 12 year age gap. I’m the older woman. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago because he wants to have his freedom. He wants to see other people and wants a life without me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I understand how you are feeling. Just know it will get better, take it day by day and take care of yourself. Sending love to everyone who’s going through a heartache right now. ❤️
7 weeks on from my break up & 2 weeks ago I found out through social media that my ex had already found someone else before he broke up with me. So the age thing, everything he said was all lies. 3 times I asked if there was someone else & he was adamant there wasn’t. My heart broke all over again. The pain has been dreadful but my family have been amazing & I owe it to them to keep fighting to realise my worth. One day I hope I will
that's funny. My X ended out 7 yrs relationship abruptly. He married 2x. 2nd Mar lasted 7 yrs. Mine, his 3rd relationship he ended on our 7 yrs Anniv. See the pattern? I'm beyond broken & heart. I will try to remember his pattern. We don't deserve this at all, all deep love & faith put into. He said he's looking for the love of his life? Thanks for f** 7 yrs of my life. I fell in love with the wrong human being
He broke up with me 6 months ago…. I’m about to have his daughter 😭 it’s been SO difficult because I feel like I’m on a Teeter Totter of emotions. Excited and happy I’m finally going to be a mom but extremely sad her father left and never cared about me or this baby. I’ve been doing serious work on myself to heal, haven’t dated or been with any men since he left, focusing on my health and doing my best to enjoy this pregnancy… all I want to do is hold my daughter. She’s my reward. She’s my joy. She needs momma to bring her all the love and support so, with faith, I am healing for her and for me and leaving him behind so that the right man can show up and love us 🥰
I hear you girl, in a similar boat right now! He just left me in my pregnancy and didn't care about me or our child to be. Instead spewed alot of hate. Learning to rise above it and not internalize it...can't believe I survived an emotionally and physically abusive relationship
Time does help, but today rejection hurts almost physically. I need to be strong to not send a text, and am waiting hopefully for a day I won't care as much. Your videos help much, Matthew. Thank you.
Anyone watching this is definitely going through a tough break up or divorce and seeking ways to successfully get through it. This is a great video and it's always good to hear people give the right advice and suggestions on how to deal with troubles like this. I just got out of a relationship that was almost for 4 years. We were both very much in love, we had planned a future, everything seemed a okay, and it seemed like it was a good healthy relationship. What could have gone wrong? Well what went wrong is that towards the end, she revealed to me that she cheated on me and that she was seeking attention from people who would give her the attention she wanted. It turned out that she didn't know what she wanted, who she wanted, and didn't really take the relationship seriously. Definitely opposite of what I had thought. I can never trust her again. In my eyes, she'll always be a liar and a cheater, which is why moving on from her was the best choice. I'm not going to waste my time with someone who doesn't know what they want. I love who I am and I'll always be me no matter what. Now as far as why she cheated, it's because she didn't like my looks, which I love, she didn't like my personality, which I love, and she didn't like my hobbies, which I love. She feels that anybody who isn't the hardcore overly macho borderline violent hyper-masculine bad boy is too soft. I'm not that but I'm not a soft person who's a doormat either. I'm a regular strong confident gentleman, but even that was too soft for her. She didn't like that I collected comic books and action figures and superhero t-shirts. I never put those above her or our relationship, but she just didn't like that I was into that in general. So instead of telling me what she liked and disliked in the beginning, she wasted my time which is the biggest offense of all. So that's my story. I'm not a victim and nobody is, but I'm still as always being my authentic self and getting through it. Save my strength and energy for someone who's serious about relationships.
@@amylamb2768 thank you for the comment. I'm really happy my story helped you. I wish you the best of luck with what you're dealing with. It is a very tough situation. Especially when the trust is destroyed.
@@Terminatorfan-2016 Indeed! I must appreciate you are confident about what you want in life and instead of becoming someone's doormat you became free soul. I always admire and appreciate such enthusiasm for life. Trust me we will do better with no badmouth for any of the people who don't add value to our life. Trust me as a stranger and after knowing your story, I really liked the way you are. Be like this and remember who left us in between, They don't deserve us and they should not matter to us either way. Take care buddy 🙋
Last September my ex cheated on me and instead of trying to say sorry cos I probably would of taken him back he just went and we had been together for 3 years and was trying for a baby I was so hurt and cried I didn’t eat I was a mess for about 3 months. Matthew is right the pain changes it’s now April and don’t get me wrong it’s not easy but I am eating I don’t cry everyday and it’s changed I realise now I wasn’t meant to be with him. Something better out there for me and anyone who reads this I hope you know there is something better for you 💗 I immersed myself in Matthew videos 💕 it helps I literally listened to Matthew all day and night over and over and over again until some words sunk in if he should of he would of but he didn’t cos he didn’t want to and sometimes giving yourself a pep talk can help too. Sending love to anyone going through pain I promise it gets easier xxx
Remember to love yourself 1000x more for what they put you through. My X of 7 yrs destroyed & betrayed me. My mind forgives & ready to move on but my heart is injured trem due to his cruelty in the end. Why can't we end it like 2 decent human beings? Living is not easy esp on days I have to get up & go to work. I do love myself so much more for my poor heart & body. I do a lot of hot yoga & mediation. They do help! If u r like me, I give you hug. I feel u
Been with this beautiful woman for 16 months & we lived together. I feel like the relationship flashed before my eyes it's crazy. At times I wish this was all a dream & I can wake up from this reality & have everything back to how it was with her by my side smiling & laughing. RU-vid videos keep me from getting so much anxiety & I can't be in my house all alone because then all the thoughts & memories come. I feel like the best part of my day is going to sleep at night & when I wake up in the morning the pain starts over. Can't wait for this feeling to go away
Everything changes and the right relationship isn’t brittle… these ideas of Matthew helped me make it! The new one to change our relationship with pain. Thank you Mat!
"The right relationship isn't brittle", changed my life. I'm 6 months post break-up. My relationship spontaneously combusted in about 20 seconds. Knowing this truth got me through it.
Healing really goes beyond helping oneself sometimes the wrong person just leaves a scar to be healed by the right one . I really love your selection of words even in pain can I send you a dm pls
Still getting through a breakup that happened last week. Thank you, Matthew for all of your videos. Definitely has helped me work through the pain bit by bit.
@@AT-zb5in that makes me very happy to hear for you and it also gives me hope for me. I know the process can be different for all but hearing things like this does help I wish you happiness and peace on your journeys to come
@@lv4230 Thank you! And I wish you the same as well. Honestly, you will get there. Time is the biggest thing that helped me, while also taking into accountability of the role I played in allowing my ex to do that to me. You got this! I believe in you!
@@kingdomofanimosity2684 Hi Amal. I am doing much better! I didn't think it would be possible when it was so early after the breakup. I would think of sad thoughts wonder why it didn't work but little by little I started positive self talk. I would say it's ok he has a right to be with someone who is a better match for him and i deserve that too. I also started hearing positive podcast positive meditation and when i would get anxious i would listen to descriptive meditation walking reading and venting to my sister. You'll be better just work through the emotions and you'll see little by little you will accept it. Accepting it even if we don't like it is much better and healthier than beating a dead horse and forcing ourselves onto others. That's what I finally accepted. Best of luck . Your social platform friends are here to cheer you on.
I just went through breakup hell, but y'know it's true what the experts say: after 11 weeks I'm ok again. You really can make it to the other side. But the most important thing that I believe really helped is that I was sober for many months from drugs & alcohol prior to the breakup. I'm really glad I didn't go back to substance abuse to deal with it, and I'm thankful I didn't TRY to get sober during it! Sobriety provided the focus I needed to look for answers and that's how I discovered Matthew Hussey. Thanks Matt for helping me to sort out my pain & confusion!
I’m think I’m about to walk away from someone I love so dearly. It hurts because I don’t want to, but deep down I know I have to. He has expressed multiple times he is unsure about us, he is hot and cold, and my mental health is taking a toll from the confusion he has. I need to get ready for this breakup 💔
Hopefully you read this. Talk to him about it and tell him how you're feeling. Read your comment to him if you have to. He obviously has his reasons for his behaviour, and your goal should be to get him to explain it so you understand. Don't throw the relationship away just because you're confused. Use the opportunity to have the conversation now and potentially save the situation while you still can. Once you end the relationship, you cant have this conversation and you'll perhaps look back in future and wish you had.
Get out before you dig yourself in more! If they told you that nothing will change. if you keep staying he will get another woman and he will make you regret the day you were born. I know it can be so hard but you can do it! You deserve better have selflove 🙏
How are you doing now? I'm in the same situation right now. I should have broken up with him but I didn't. And he broke up with me first and now I'm going through hell. It's been 3 days and I cannot wait for this week/month to be over and feel better already.
I've been hurt once thats it. If you believe everything happens for a reason both good and bad then any break up is a God send. We all learn the hard way unfortunately so just know as much as you love someone if there not ment to be with you then your ment for someone else. I've been single for 2yrs now.
Thank you for this comment. I am going through a time of healing from a break up. It happened in Marche 2020. After almost 2 and a half year I feel relatively okay. My ex- wife still appreciated me for who I am. She left me although for the fact that we did not feel any attraction in an intimacy wat let alone sexually. It was completely understandable that the left me toe another man who could give her what she was missing out. I wanted her to go and start a new life. It was hard to loose my companion but it was for a reason. We still have some contact but things change. Het new boyfriend felt guilty about what happened and I could get along with hij for two years. Nog he is having more and more problems with me still having contact with both of them. I think I have to go through a second ' break up ' to make things work for myself. I don't want to loose my selfrespect and the only thing I want is just to go on with my own personal life. My ex wife feels sorry for me for what id happening now. I want to stop the contact with both of them because it brings me down again. I really like your comment in which you said that perhaps somebody else appreciated it to be with me ons day. Thank you so much for listing your comment. I know Matthew is there for the ladies but I can relatie to a lot of things that people are posting. By the way, I am 69 years old and was married for more then 25 years. I still have to find my way but I will succeed, at least that is what I think😅. Wish you all the best from Portugal. I am Dutch myself.
@@g.j.schreuder7152 you sound very kind. Yeah everything happens for a reason like I said. And I held on to both the baby daddy who I was with for 15yrs and my ex I was engaged to for 8 months. It's all divine timing. My advice to you is think of you. Is it fair to you to waste your love on someone who doesn't want it? No being the answer. You was ment for someone else not her.
@@phoenixxx6427 Thank you for your reaction. It is a straight answer and I know I have to follow your advice. It is the only way to let go and put myself in first place. I think you did that already. It sounds very okay to hear from you, who is more or less unknown to me, that you are very to the point in your answer. Thanks for your information for what I should have done already more then a year ago. I wish you lots of wisdom to find your own way in your personal, private life. Gerard.
I must be one of a few that just can't control my ego 😭 it's been 3 years since we split and my heart is still broken. I cry nearly everyday cos I know I was the reason why we broke up. It hurts so much! I love him so much!
I am too but what hurts is it’s not a problem that can’t be fixed. No one was physical or no one cheated anything to that level. The problem just needed my attention and for me to fix it but he still doesn’t believe That I will change. I don’t think the reason is worth ending a 5 year relationship over. But that’s up to him and all I can do now is wait till he decides if we stay or split for good
@@queenrashell I'm in the same situation I broke up with him because he was not calling me enough! Last time I called him he said he will call me back but took him two days to call. That made feel I was not important to him anymore. small things add up led me to break up with him!I just was so confused about our relationship 😔 I have talked to him about this issues I feel like he didn't care if I stay or go😫
I got engaged, lived with the person I thought I was going to spend forever with and he woke up yesterday deciding he wants to do whatever he wants and live his life alone… most definitely feeling like I’m going through it
She broke up with me because she said she needs time to find out who she is). I was dealing with it. Then got the information that she was literally planning the break up for more than 5 months and just acted like everything was fine in this time. Just using me for vacation, comfort, support. I just feel hate and worthlessness. I got played like never before by the only person I trusted. I feel stupid for letting them in my life. This really crushed me. And now (3 weeks later) got with the guy she told me not to worry about. I guess she "found" herself in him.
I'm so happy having my partner back after being separated for months.All thank to dr frank who help me to get back with my ex again,he has helped numerous number of people I will suggest you to get help from him
same thing happened. 3 heartbrokens by the same person over the course of 9 years. then she left me again but never comes back. but i foubd someone better but shes far and i love her but im too afraid she gonna leave me just the same as i dont want to ever have to gone thru such pain again. relationship is so dangerous
Indeed. Beginning a long process of introspection and reflection tend to yield many breakthroughs and give us the opportunity to understand ourselves better, and what our gifts, strengths, talents, weaknesses and pitfalls are. Pain itself is inevitable, so we shouldn't be afraid of being hurt - we just have to find out who's worth suffering for.
I saw an old video of yours Mathew about toxic men, 7 years back, can't imagine how time flew. When I saw the topic of this video, it only made me smile. I smiled because I thought how it's going to benefit people the way it benefitted me when I was broken. We may never meet but I want to let you know you are a very big part of my healing process and I thank you very much for that.
going through hell for over 2 years now... Can't even get a job or try to get a job... (I barely live from renting my house) Im getting fatter after being in shape for a while since all I do is, staying at home, gaming, watching movies & stuff... all because of a break-up... a relationship that I thought "it was THE ONE"...but it wasn't...
Great advice Matthew. Strong words. From experience, and I wish I knew this after my previous breakups... is you have to learn that feeling pain is all part of being alive, as is feeling love. You have to know that no matter what happened and how painful it is today, get up and believe that you will be ok, you will learn from the experience, you will make better choices next time, you will be a stronger you... in time. Be confident in your own strength and grow from it. The next time it happens, you'll be able to cope with the pain in a better way.
I feel like I went through hell after a rejection from and eventually losing contact with the one person I've fallen in love with. I cried pretty much every day for months, couldn't stop thinking about her and how things might've been if I hadn't made certain mistakes, listened to music I shouldn't be listening to (love songs, sad songs, sad love songs), had conversations with her in my mind and even out loud. All those kinds of things. However, recently I finally decided to let her go, to assume I'll never speak to her again (I'd love to be friends again one day, but shouldn't hope for it), and I gotta say I'm doing better now. I haven't fully healed yet, still think about her too much and I still wish things would be different, but talking to friends and also watching your videos have helped me feel a bit better. Thanks. And in case you’re reading this, dear (I know you like to watch these sorts of videos too), I hope you’re doing well. If you ever need anyone, don’t hesitate to call or message me (again, I’m assuming you won’t, but feel free). Those feelings from before might be fading, but I’ll always care for you, wish you love, happiness, strength, joy, serenity and anything else you need or want. Thanks for being my light for a while, all of the lessons I’ve learned and helping me realize I can care for and even fall in love with people. I ended my very first rhyme you knew was about you with these words: ‘You may be scarred, but as beautiful as ever’. That will always be true. Life has been quite ugly for you at times, but in my eyes you will always be beautiful.
Your words maybe perfect but that wont *DO* anything...from a girl who felt that his man did the same as you. We wont be reaching out or does this as you expect you ruined it then suffer it even twice. Well after all you must do what you gotta do.😉
@@georgered6867 I promised her I wouldn’t contact her, though. I’ve broken too many promises already. Well, mostly the same one multiple times, to give her the time and space she needed. Time to finally give her that.
I had been there done that … just what you went through nowdays when I went something difficult being rejection in relationship, work issues etc etc I won’t panic or breakdown badly instead deal it the current issues, and moving forward…. Its called keep continue living !
You seem to be one of the only dating coaches who speaks to not just women which is very profound. Listening to other dating coaches you would think not only that women are the only ones who hurt from relationships but also that women are always the ones who are the problem or the ones dealing with the problem.
It just feels like there are no men around my age who actually want any sort of committed relationship... Or the ones that do are already taken. Makes dating feel like a chore of weeding out the bad ones. Or like all I'm doing is dodging bullets left and right 😅
Thank you for everything you do Matthew, your content is helping me re-shifting focus and distract pain in this first week of my break up. My ex-partner ended the first serious relationship of my life, which lasted for 4 years. I am a mix of shock/denial/jealousy/depression at the moment and I can't seem to find a reason to be happy, or at least hopeful for the future.
I know it's hard bro, but day by day try to go over it, and most important remember you do it for yourself, you are the most important in your life. Don't do harm to yourself. This help me go throw day by day
Feel it, cry it out, walk, talk to friends, write it out, give yourself to God. Just don't numb yourself. After grieving comes anger, then again a bit grieving, then again anger, and you'll find balance Be kind to yourself
I am going through a breakup hell, it happened all of a sudden and the more I want to listen and be okay but all I want to do is fix it all and get him back
Hurting so much. I miss her but know she'll never take me back this time. I feel so empty. I'm a codependent pleaser and have little self respect or love for myself. I know i need to find and love myself.....with or without someone else in it. So hard for me. My mother always hated me and i got my value or lack of from that. Bless you all here. Let's try. xx
I can agree when pain can change your memory of that person who caused it.....long distance relationship has been painful last year and i choose to end it when he gave me 3 months no contact. I dont accept silence thats the only thing im holding on to,to keep the relationship but he killed it. *NO ONE EXPECTS LOYALTY WHEN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THEY DO,WHRE THEY ARE,WHO THEY ARE WITH EVEN FOR A DAY* Its a torture not relationship. I dont regret i hated him like hell for that.
Im taking a break from my husband now at his request and I’m back at my parents house. In the morning before any alarm wakes me up my body feels warm and safe in the bed and right before I wake up I forget that this is really happening and I think I’m laying next to him and all is normal. But then I wake up and this cold chill runs down my body and my nerves start to react. That’s when I realise that it wasn’t a nightmare, I’m not at home in bed with my husband. This is now my painful reality and no matter how much disbelief I’m in I have to face it today and everyday until my husband makes a decision if he wants to stay together or go out seperate ways.
Hi Matthew and Team! Your video helped me so much, I'm really grateful that you did it. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago, and even though we had so many things in common, I had to leave. I found your point of view on creating a friendly bond with pain very helpful. I don't want to panic anymore. My ex boyfriend promised me that I am the one he's choosing, and he doesn't want anyone else. Then after 1,5 years, he became angry that he cannot do what he wants... And that thing is being polyamorous and have an open relationship. I have my standards, I couldn't cope with that, and he was aware of that since the beginning of our relationship. He told me that I am like a soup he has to eat every day. And it is my disadvantage that I am a monogamist. I let him and myself free. It had a huge impact on my sense of attractivity, nevertheless, I'm taking back my power. Again, thank you Matthiew so much
I can't imagine how painful this must be for you! My God. If someone even just mentions something like this, the thought alone will kill me! You are a very courageous woman, honestly.
I fell deeply in love with someone who didn’t love me. I felt both the highest highs, and the lowest lows. Giving up on the possibility of that relationship was so difficult, but I realised all the love I had for him could be love I gave to myself instead. My life felt like a mess at the time, and I wanted to focus on the idea of this amazing love I felt. I needed that love, for myself. I’m setting new boundaries, being more honest with myself, and rebuilding my life. It’s difficult, so much has changed. But I think I’ll be better and stronger in the end.
How are you doing? I'm in the same situation right now. The ending happened 3 days ago and I'm going through hell. Your comment is so motivating. I hope to be in a better place in a week, and a much, MUCH better place in a month. Impatiently waiting. 😭
@@calistar9444 aww I'm so sorry to hear that. It's not a simple answer. I think I have reached a point where I have accepted things for how they are... because I'm not really ready to date right now. But things are still messier than I would like. I love him, but in a more detached way. I'm okay with if things happen or if they don't (we had a sort of situationship type deal). My caring advice to you would be... keep your boundaries clear and stick with them. Write things down to remind yourself.
@@quendelf Thank you for your response. I'm glad to hear that you are more accepting and detached now. Acceptance and detachment is what I am praying for right now. I hope the universe grants it to me soon. Because non-acceptance and attachment feels so, so horrible. I know the love I have for him has changed. To what, I can't name yet. But it has definitely changed. I pray it goes away... Thank you for your advice. I will do that so I never forget. I wish you continued healing. 💛
The physical pain that people can and do have. Not caused by emotions. Make it your best friend, know everything about it. Kind of like having a child.. Man it hurts but you know its temp and tomorrow will be glorious. Acknowledge your feelings and how bad it is.. dont stuff it deep down. Pain changes you totally. But it does not have to destroy you, lean it, learn you and how to cope and work with it. We all really do have the tools, self pity is not one of them.
Love this. Thank you ☺️💗. Rewriting my narrative of my past and reshaping my relationship with my pain. Oh yes, the fear that the pain will be with me forever was panic inducing. It's scary when the loss of hope drives you to your darkest hour. It's hard to believe that this too shall pass. Had to repeat this adage daily - this too shall pass 💕
Fully immersive experiences I have found help. In a small way speaking with a friend and hearing about their life, movies in a cinema, virtual reality, playing online games. Something that engages the senses brings you in the current moment where your mind has to take in whats happening now helps.
Your words are so helpful thank you for sharing them! Got cheated on less than a month ago… after 5 years I thought she was the one but I now see things differently.
Bro stay strong it's never easy but it gets better.. I am going through a close to 4 yr break up as well seek clarity journal it.. In time you will receive inner peace I am seeking it too in time (got a month going through it too)
I'm not going through breakup not in a relationship even, but I love listening to you I feel like you speak from heart and you really want to make people feel better. God bless you for helping people when they go through one of the most difficult experience.
Hi Matt, thank you for sharing this. It’s made me and I am sure so many others feel a little less alone when they are or continue to be in moments of hardship or darkness. Speaking about giving yourself care and doing the best you can with where you are was really powerful. It’s reminded me to take some pressure of myself!
Four days later and I’m doing a little bit better. Writing out my feelings and also going to the Gym has been helping. I’m know that it’s going to take time there steps forward one step back
I'm so happy having my partner back after being separated for months.All thank to dr frank who help me to get back with my ex again,he has helped numerous number of people I will suggest you to get help from him
"The struggle itself towardsbl the hights is enough to fill a man's heart" - Albert Camus Its all about your perspectives! You can choose to let your pain burden you, or you can choose to use your pain to unburden your life.
Yes, now I know the pain is real, as I lived in idealistic and fake world...and yes, there is panic, like freaking out about the pain, and fear or realizing I have to move on, also every day struggle... finding joy is important
Just broke up with my boyfriend today. I’m so devastated I thought he was the love of my life. His excuse was no having enough time for me. Can you believe it? After a year and 5 months telling me I was the love of his love💔
I'm so sorry to read that. 😔 I decided to break up with my ex a month and some days ago and it was awful in the beginning, even though we were together just for four months. I still miss him but sometimes I think it's my ego screaming more because he hasn't tried to come back with me at all and I handled lots of things from him that weren't good, I gave him and myself chances to make things right, but it didn't work. I imagine you experienced lots of things with your boyfriend and his response is very hard to hear after so many good moments. But try to think that it was for the best. If he didn't say anything and lied to you, continuing with you just so he wasn't alone but not treating you the right way, would be even worse. Now it is time for you to treat yourself, be patient with your process, cry. Get some strength for you to improve things like your career, knowledge in areas you like, do some physical exercises. Take care of yourself, because if he contacts you, he will see a better version of you, a strong and independent woman that doesn't put her happiness in his hands. If he doesn't come back, it is also good because he is giving space for you to meet a better man. My ex was the first relationship I had and I've experienced such a roller coaster of emotions, but I can see that the days go by and I'm getting better. You'll feel better too, little by little. Face this process now and sooner you are back on your feet. God bless you fully. We are in this together!! ❤️❤️
@@Annamelese if he wasn't respecting you, you did the right thing. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision, and deep inside I know I did, but these kind of thoughts come. I found a video from Matt called "was dumping him the right decision?" (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-7SJfVnzJ4ZM.html) and when this question comes to my mind I watch it and things get better. My ex disrespected me as well, as I wasn't his priority. We can't make someone our priority while they are not putting us in the same position. We made the right thing, Anna. But if one day you question your decision, watch this video from the link that you will feel better. Treat yourself well and respect your process. Sooner you will be back on your feet!! All the best to you ❤️
@@nath1882 He was not calling me when said he would. Told him how it makes me feel when he does that, instead of correcting his behavior he used it against me. This time got upset I just disappeared 😔😔
@@Annamelese don't feel guilty about it. His words were not matching his actions and this is a real problem. This was my case too. Either he agreed with something but then acted differently or told some white lies, that, for me, could become worse lies in the future. He lied about unnecessary things, imagine when they become necessary, which for me they are never necessary. I know how you feel. I got really sad because we don't start a relationship intending to break up, we want it to continue. But sometimes continuing is not right. Maybe your ex is going to regret his attitude and reach you, but don't live your life depending on that. Think about your well being. When I was with my ex boyfriend, even though I really liked him, I felt anxious when he didn't reach me through messages. Think about it. How did he make you feel? Do you want those feelings again? Are they worth it? In my case, they aren't. My mom tells me that a good relationship doesn't make us feel anxious and insecure about it. And unfortunately, I felt these things with mine. I still miss him, I miss him now, but he is not the right guy for me and I've been accepting that little by little as the time goes by.
Never thought love can hurt like that. In moments like that, don't force anything. Let things happen. Love cannt be captured, it's captured in the moment. Don't use this to get your exes back - use it for self-love and healing. And the rest comes naturally. Be yourself, and attract what suits you.
For me, first step was to understand that I suffer because I don't have love in my life and I am not made to be happy without it. That I have to be, like you, the hero who fights and brings love back in my life. The hurt heros of love, that's what we are. Hurt, but not dead. So, we will heal and fight again. We will heal with self-love. With self-respect. We were hurt - but the alternative was to lack standards and became prisoners and slaves. So, I am proud of you. Hugs from far away! You will outgrow that.
It is so weird to be on the other side of the pain after a betrayal during a 20 year marriage. Totally over it. Dont even know why I held on. It feels good. It will happen everyone. Anxiety because of money is hard but that is the only thing left.
I have gone through the video on going through a breakup hell, and it was a raw and honest portrayal of the pain and difficulties that come with heartbreak. The video's message that it's okay to feel lost and broken during a breakup can be comforting to anyone experiencing similar emotions. The video also offers helpful tips on self-care and moving forward in a healthy way. Thank you for sharing this relatable and insightful content.
My girlfriend just broke up with me after a year of being together and doing everything together. She even blocked me everywhere and doesn't want to contact me ever again. She didn't even say the reason. She just left and I'm here with no answers. But i hope I'll be able to get out of this and come out stronger.
@@prithag3285 I hope it gets better with time. It's actually difficult to stop loving someone when they can do it so fast. The bengalis songs you listen to are actually pretty nice.
As painful as my breakup is, it's to myself I have to be true. I have to keep reminding myself the truth I saw and understood. I can't pretend I didn't see it. 😒
Hi Matt, We go on to other relationships and move on from our pain. It's good to know that I can change my relationship with the pain. I love that you talk about physical pain. Thank you for that. My friend is going through stage four cancer. The panic and castrophysing is a process that I didn't see before. What can I do in spite of my pain as art is just beautiful matt. Betty
I'm so happy having my partner back after being separated for months.All thank to dr frank who help me to get back with my ex again,he has helped numerous number of people I will suggest you to get help from him
After 3 years decided with her to break up because we were toxic, she tried making up in December and 3 days in January and it ended all up in one nasty argument, she has been silent eversince, nothing. Seeing her new profile picture broke me, don't have hope for anything, even for pain going away.
I’m in a shock, my boyfriend of 3 yrs in less than a month kept bringing up being friends, I suggested a break he said No, because “what guarantee do I have that you won’t leave.” He mentioned friendship at the moment I was mad, said yes if that was what he wanted, he said No. in less than a week he says I don’t believe I’m right for you, I mentioned how I felt him distancing, he said he loved me, felt it was a mistake, all the inconsistencies made me agree to the break up. We cried all night said thanks, asked him to give me 2 weeks to heal, me being brave 😑However the Next day he kissed me said he loved me that if in 2 weeks he did not hear from me he would be back for me. Reached out on the 3rd week very friendly, said he cared but that it was best to be friends. I stated I did not want that the. I got the cold shoulder, and a statement I’m sorry but have no interest in getting back. Supper weird supper hypocritical, unlike his character. Seemed resentful. It hurt like hell but honestly it was the inconsistencies the “I love you but don’t want you” attitude. He stated I’m not interested in getting back together I’m sorry wish you the best. Very Hypocrite
I know this video is 4 months old but me and my gf broke up 3 days ago, I’ve been through breakups before that hurt just as bad, and you expect the next breakup to hurt less, but it doesn’t, it’s hard to breathe, loss of appetite, all of it. I should’ve left a year ago when she started talking to her exs and lying to me about it, but I am too forgiving and loving so I stayed, she finally got caught again and I asked her why don’t you respect my boundaries? Do you not love me anymore? And she said “I don’t think I do” and that was that. I’m on day 4. I’m doing a bit better. I feel for anyone who’s gone through what most of us have. Time let’s pain heal, but damn does time take it’s precious time.
I'm so happy having my partner back after being separated for months.All thank to dr frank who help me to get back with my ex again,he has helped numerous number of people I will suggest you to get help from him
My girl broke up with me because she felt like she couldn’t “fulfill” my needs and we ended good. I wished her the best in life and she started balling crying and wanted one last hug from me and cried in my shoulder. Literally the same night she was on tinder. And when I called her the next day to ask her if she deleted our pictures of us and of me, a guy answered the phone but it was her friends husband acting like someone she was seeing and I heard her laughing in the background when I talked to him. Don’t understand how things could end in a good way and her to do that to me. But it’s whatever it’s been 4 days and I can already feel myself slowly moving on. Of course I still have my moments and still think about her cause I did love her but I’m starting to realize she ethier never loved me or she fell out of love for me and just put on an act the pst few weeks.
Thank you so much for this video! It has given me hope and faith that I can get through the extreme pain I am feeling right now. Sharing that you have been able work through such difficult times of your life, when you felt you could not get through, this gives me hope that I will be able to achieve this as well! Thank you!
