Guilt tripping parents get it all wrong 

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It is crazy in dysfunctional families that parents think they should be first priority in your life.

"You are so selfish", "You are so ungrateful", "I know when you grow up, you will not take good care of us". These are what my parents told me.

Having toxic parents helped me TRULY understand the saying “Every child deserves a parent, not every parent a child.”

This is why I dislike the 'I live for my kids' parents because they never had a great life, mission or tasks before they had children. They'll want their children to be successful and take care of them.

I am 29 yo and I am physically sick because of this guilt trip and feeling of never being good enough...it's horrible, tiring and no matter what I do I am always the bad person ..

This. I never asked to be born. My parents chose to bring me. If I had kids I would raise them my way but never dislike them for not turning out as the exact cookie cutter I favor. Kids are humans not copies of you.

26 and can't wait to move out. They're trying to keep me here, but it won't hold much longer. I've been reading the comments here and I know we're all gonna make it, no matter what. Great video, really needed to hear it. Thank you so much. God bless you all.

I'm trying my best not to be like my dad and the family. I'm always the mean one to them. I'm always the asshole to them. I'm always a problem to them. He always guilt trips me and it honestly makes me want to cry as a 25 year old man. I honestly just want to be left alone. I've never been the family oriented type. I'm never the favorite. I never seem to do anything right. I just want to move away and never come back.

Why do I feel such guilt cutting off people who make me feel the worst? I just want to be free. I don't hate them but they destroy me.

this is incredible, more people need to hear and say this. i have so many friends whos parents guilt trip them, and its so horrible and toxic. this means so much keep up the good work

I hate my parents because they made me a people pleaser riddled with guilt now at 21 I’m here on youtube watching videos about toxic parents when I realised they gave me imposter syndrome and perfectionism that made me fail uni

Making my parents proud means NOTHING to me, I don’t love them enough to do so. Reason being is because their definition of making them proud is being the version of me they created in their heads

My mother constantly told me that I wasn't appreciative enough.A lot of your ideas expressed here were really good and really insightful. You skillfully articulated a lot of this that is often difficult to express precisely in words.

I love reading all the comments it helps me feel less lonely and not the only one dealing with toxic parents. My mother plays the role of “I live only because of my children” and she goes to me to seek advice, dump her trauma on me, and depressed from my father being an ass to her. Then my father guilts everyone, I give you so much and you owe me person, controlling, and overall a very narcissistic individual. I love them but I’m so emotionally tired and I’m only 18 but as soon as I graduate Im moving out. I can’t have my own opinions, he’s pissed if I don’t follow everything he says, can’t make mistakes, and I can’t express how I feel to them unless it’s happiness. But I’m constantly second guessing if I should move out and stressing if my parents will hate me.

I finally moved out last year at 30 and never looked back!! We don’t owe our parents anything! Glad to finally have my inner peace!

My parents have sacrificed for us to get all the education that we needed. I want to help out my parent because they are at the age where they are getting older. They don't demand anything from me.... I just want to help them out because of gratitude ...

If you love someone or something let it/them be free. Humans are so obsessed with possessing flesh it’s so cringy

My mother is like that. She always wants me to help her financially, meanwhile she refuses to get a job. She refuses to seek help for her emotional issues. Ive done more than enough for her for the past 12 years and I’ve finally set my limits with her.

Many parents just genuinely resent seeing their children move out however, some keep quiet and deal with the sadness alone, that also triggers a sense of guilt in the child moving out if they are empathetic

You don't try to control the things you love, you try to control the things you fear. Fear and love go in opposite ways, because love comes with trust. Trust -> let be

I followed my parents blindly now I am a failure and they say I am responsible for it because I never listened to them

Its always”i gave up my life for you” “i couldve had no kids and just enjoy my life right now” oh please i never asked you to bring me into this world,i really appreciate it,but if your gonna make me feel guilty about ruining your life then no thanks

I am 20yo. My father and mother both hate me for not doing what they tell me to do. When I want to be alone and happy they force me to interact with them. They are always trying to control me and they are so insecure about me getting independent that they dont want me to do part time job. My dream and my perspectives are constantly undermined and messing me up. I want to honestly emotionally detach from them completely and don't want them in my life. I am scared that they will be controlling my future and will become their puppet. That is the worst nightmare ever.

I told my mom she only wants to have kids so that someone will take care of her when she's old. Now, my sister, whom she used to hate is forced to take her in because no one wants her because of her attitude. She only wants to take your side if that person has money. She will only love you if you have money.

Parents only have kids to help them later in life. It is an investmen.

My mum will curse me if I dont do what she wants me to do.

My dad always pulls the “You owe me” whether it be love, affection, respect, physical belongings, etc. I would ALMOST understand if I’d been an accident and he gave birth to me but… I’m adopted 💀

Im always yelled at saying I owe them so much because they do things for me. I dont know what to do. They guilt trip me so much and I want to cry.

My parents constantly discouraged me from moving abroad even though it's been my dream since high school and now I'm 26 and working towards that dream day by day and about a few months ago my dad shouted at me after hearing about my plans of studying in Germany, he cut it off completely and told me to "forget about it" and he still keeps actively ignoring that and gives suggestions to find a permanent job in our city. I'm saving up all on my own to be able to fulfill that goal with zero support from them even though they have the financial ability to back me up to make it easier for me. I feel so stressed and worried that my dad will try to stop me from achieving this dream. It's life or death situation for me because I am so unhappy in this country and the mentality of the people etc.

I'm almost 40 and my parents are like this when I was in my youth. I had a very miserable childhood. And now I have a 4yo, Iwill make sure I will never repeat the same mistake they made.

My mom treats me and my sister like crap and does hurtful things to us and demands us to respect her no matter what. These types of parents are teaching their kids that they should respect the people that treat them like crap.

I’m pretty sure more than half on my childhood traumas are a result of this. And, even if you really don’t want to, these are the kinds of relationships you keep attracting in the future. God, it’s hard.

My mother would tell me how I'm wo ungrateful and could never get anything done on my own, while simultaneously pushing me away constantly from her personal space and making me feel how unwelcome I am.

As a Christian and Asian , it is a culture that once a child finishes school it is now your turn to take care of of your parents even if they are still able to work. I have done this for 2 years but decided to stop after I got married and move to another country. I could tell my parents are not happy even if my brother took over this responsibility. Since I was a child , my parents tend to fight bout money and all I hear my mother say is Money. I feel guilty because they are my parents but I am so sick and tired of their treating their children like their slave or retirement fund. It is so bad that my dad had a mistress and had a kid and still expect help financially from us kids. Up to his dying breath , he still demands money from everyone. The sad part is I just want to live my remaining life in peace. I have terminal cancer.

The bad thing is that I'm stuck with my parent due to covid19, so I was forced to stay home and not being able to put space between me and them

i’m 16, my parents literally tried to guilt trip me because I didn’t call my mom after she was not home for hours at a time which they usually aren’t😭and my mom calls me a disappointment, they think I gaf💀manipulation at it’s finest

I don't even want to be here at all. Just becoming a parent is so incredibly selfish.

I’m the oldest of 7 siblings and so much of the house work falls on me. I told my parents I want to move out and my mom cried and said she wouldn’t be able to manage if I left. I don’t want to live anymore. I will always be jealous of people who had parents who let them have lives, and I feel like my happiness doesn’t matter and that I’m just a caretaker. Your kids, your responsibility.

I'm a 18 yo boy and my parents never let me go out with my friends. And they also ask why am I an introvert and why I can't talk to people easily.

I like doing nice things for my parents but the guilt tripping bull when I’m close to 49 is not acceptable and I won’t heed them at all.

Honor your father and mother to have long life. It doesn't mean "like, love, agree with". It just means respect. Learning to respect them will teach you to respect others. Sometimes, in order to remain respectful, you need to remove yourself from the situation. Never lower yourself to the level of disrespect.

I stood up to my mom today and feel really bad. I yelled and than she guilt tripped me and like usual the guilt trip worked. All she wants is to hang out together but I don’t like socializing anymore. I used to end up getting slapped across the face, called names like bitch, loser, or slut. Now that has stopped I still remember and prefer isolating. No more getting getting bossed around, called down, manipulated, and devalued. I study 24/7 and just give people free answers it seems. They want to hang out for emotional sympathy and answers about why things happen. No more helping. I can’t without feeling used.

All to many parents think that simply giving someone life means that that person is beholden to them for life, and expecting gratitude and a a slave to wait on them hand and foot when they get old.

My mother always guilt trips me by dumping her failures as a parent onto me by making me feel guilty for moving out and not thinking of my siblings when my mental health comes first . It is not my job to raise her kids , I’m still growing myslef

I never thought about it that way but YES! My parents have done this to me my whole life. Creating this feeling of owing them for control and so I take care of them. But they did the bare minimum for me. I always knew it just felt wrong that a parent would make a child feel guilty because they took care of them when that's their job! Parents who love being parents don't think this way. It's one thing if a child wants to take care of a parent. It's another thing that they do it because of guilt from that parent. Thank you for that explanation.

Especially when you try to walk on a spiritual path and practicing méditation but impossible if you live with a toxic family. This is why I will take a new home

Holidays are the worst with toxic parents. It’s what led me to this video.

So sad to read how many of you hate your parents and have so much trash to dump on them😢 I lost my both parents when I was a kid. I do not know what it feels to be loved and taken care of by a parent. Therefore, I truly wish I had them. No matter how they are. They brought you to this life. Be at least a little bit grateful!

Of course we didn't and I never expected anything from my children the thought has never entered my mind, it's a ridiculous idea.

I’m in this weird reverse situation where I wish my parents would kick me out, I have been trying to cancel every single payment plan and healthcare plan they put me on under their name without my knowledge and have often stated I wanted to move out and learn to pay my own bills. I’m 30 btw and no matter what in this type of culture, you are seen as their “baby” no matter what. It’s gotten to the point where they keep invading my boundaries and things escalated badly and now everyone is saying that I shouldn’t move out because “my attitude won’t make it in the real world.” Regardless I’m suppose to get my ass kicked and learn, I’m stunned by this toxic backward logic and I am desperate. Right now, I’m looking for roomates while I’m saving up on the side and dealing with my families disparages over my recent improper behavior (and meltdowns) towards them. I work as an entry level accountant too. Anytime I speak up to my parents, I get attacked by family members (that are indebted to my parents for bailing them on their own crappy choices in life) for being “disrespectful” but I don’t abide by this culture…

I am 29 year old Chinese American and this video is spot on !I still live with my mom and she doesn’t even support me to move out

You are spot on. It’s also opening my eyes towards my own grown child. I don’t want my daughter to ever feel guilty or thinking she owes me anything for payback. Thank you for creating this type of content.

IF your parents keep telling you that you "OWE" your life to them...THEN clearly they did not raise you as their child...at best they raised you as a PET or at minimum a FARM ANIMAL or PLANT. NO good parent will ever hang the IOU instead of an ILU over your head your entire life...ever. Just think about why we keep Pets, Farm Animals or Plants...these living things actually owe their life tot hose who raised IT. Otherwise, these living things would be dead or made dead and their existence is for an exchange for something of ultimate benefit to those who raised them up.

Thanks. It feels like these unhappy people ( they won't admit)who are incapable of love - gives birth to a child & then tortures the child for lifetime in the name of Love. That's why being an adult "SELF-LOVE" is more important to understand between real love & artificial love to build better relationships without yourself & others.

My Mom was sick last Wednesday when I went to her house. I usually go to her house on Wednesday's to put out her garbage, she's 80. Thursday I texted her to see how she was. She said she was much better. I didn't talk to her until Sunday when I happened to be in her neighborhood and stopped in. She was visibly annoyed. I said, what's the matter? She said, I'm sick and nobody called me, not you or anyone from your family. So I lost it because, a) she said she was better Thursday and b) because, like I told her, it's the same old s*it, nobody loves me, nobody appreciates me, you didn't call me (according to her I'm supposed to call her because she's older). Anyway, it still bothers me this week although, typing this makes me feel a little better, haha. If there's any good to come of her episodes over the last few decades, I don't in any way, shape or form behave that way to my kids. Anything they do, or don't do, if fine. It's better than creating bad memories/episodes and we have a wonderful relationship, we have a nice family, my wife, and three daughters but I always feel bad about not being in contact with my mom but once a week. I'm really not a contact type person either, I'm the one who you text and say, "you alive". My wife's mom is totally different in this way.

That is EXACTLY how my mother spoke to me. Always guilt tripping me that I dont love her and now my sister has borderline and I think my mother doesnt even get that it is most probably mainly because of her.

Guilt tripping favorite horse of my mom😂 She start from very beginning, from moment I was born, I already owe her so much 😱

My Mom wasn't around much. I was taken away from her when I was 12. I missed her so much and remember crying myself to sleep at night every night wishing she was with me. She came back into my life when I was 17 I believe. It's been a good and bad experience. But now she constantly tells me everything I've done and do wrong. She blames me for how bad her life is. She makes me feel like I'm a mistake. I'm not even being dramatic, I feel like I'm nothing. I'm the problem. She says im horrible to her and treat her bad when I don't. I try so hard to just make her happy when she is around but all I really feel is that she hates me. She resents me and I don't know why or what I've done to her. I'm 33 and a mother now and I can't imagine making my little girl feel this way. It hurts so much to even imagine her hurting like this because me. How could a mother do that? I don't know what to do anymore.

For anyone blaming the kids, or even the adults .. and making the parents look innocent No one asked to be born, they brought us they beed to be responsible abd capabale to raise us good and keep us mentally healthy to say the least I still pitty my parents and love them a little bit eventhough I have never felt I worthy or I am loved, never known what childhood and teenage years are .. even my adulthood and my tweenties are being stolen from me while they keep trying to make me not leave the house. It is true that some people would act as victims and blame their parents and pretend they relate to this for some silly reasons, but that doesn't mean that there not actual victims who are still suffering from traumas and mental and physical chronic sicknesses and weaknesses. I am one of the victims and I just never talked about ut or show it. I just take the blame and stay quite. I am one of the children who have NEVER caused problems, study well, listen to their parents .. yet I am so miserable with my parents and that means something is wrong right and that's why this video and these comments exist. Not to just blame the parents flr no reason but just to state the obvious. I know they brought us to exsistence which can be so great to some and so selfish to others, but even if we should be thankful for that, that doesn't mean we can't blame them for what they do or have already done due to the lack of responsibilty or even humanity. So yeah, I am one of the victims. I am 26 years old now and I never slept out of home or stayed outside and one day I stayed a little late trying to study with a bigger guy my dad said "why you stayed with him till now , are you letting him f*ck you !" I wanted to kill myself. Never engaged in a fight and brought problems to my parents. And take this too, never asked them for money ever, so I would wear clothes that are yares and years old or wear whatever my parents brought me .... what did I get in return for being so nice kkd ! Severe depression, body disphormia and anxeity and stress that still live with me in my midlle tweenties .. my first and biggest bullies was my parents to the point were I was grabbed by my man boobs so hard and cursed or getting laughed at by my parents in front of my siblings or the big family members, told I need a bra in front of my friends and that gave them the right to bully me for years, my parents DAILY fights and hate to eachother made me and my siblings super depressed and always stressful and can't handle noises, my mom's daily crying about our financial situation gave me a huge responsibility to the point I didn't study what I wanted just to find a job as quick as possible and now they ascept me to do everything for them and make their dreams come true as soon as possible they don't care ... I could go on and on and on And btw, I was fired three months from my first job because I am just too slow due to my depression and anxeity and I saved some moeny and can't say to my parents that I no longer working they would blame the sh/t out of me and made me more sick .. I needed that job to save more money to move out, but I need healing first. With all this, my younger siblings are becoming just as depressed and stressed as me because our parents are so ignorant they think that a family is producing children abd good larents are the ones who don't saperate abd bring food on the table and that's it. They can do, act, say whatever they want.

It would be nice if my Filipino parents can understand how damaging guilt tripping is.

Currently going through this. I come from a low class family of poverty. It’s constantly “I paid all the bills and no one want to help me, I’m a single mom this,” yes I do want to give my mom money and pay rent” even since a young child that’s all I heard. I’m barley making ends meet myself I can’t even think about saving for college bc she wants money. I do plan on helping w rent as soon as I get this second job, I’ve been living check to check and cut down all my expenses so I can have more left over and start giver her money, it’s just to shut her up until I move out on my own. I feel like such a burden to her honestly. I constant have to hear “u don’t pay bills” as if I’m not trying to figure it out and increase my income. It definitely put a damper on our relationship but she won’t see it that way. She has nothing to offer her kids but wants help from them.

Uhh… my sister hasn’t talked to my father in fifteen years.. didn’t even call when his parents died.. so I’ve stopped talking to her now.. people are very selfish these days.. not talking to your family creates a lot of problems for more than just the people you stop talking to.

Absolutely agree. Side note: I have a (ex)friend who I once said hi to, she asked if I have kids, I said no, and she immediately ignored me since. I really think some parents really are so scared these days that their guilt tripping from previous generations won't work anymore, they immediately have to cut people who are non parents off their circles.

Honestly atp guilt-tripping parents are just desperate to feel or look like they're good parents smh

I believe there's so much publicity estrangement that adult daughters and sons don't feel love and responsibility and compassion and empathy.But what goes around will always come back.Lets see what she has to say when she's on the other side of the fence. She doesn't know anything about love and respect. But she knows about being her own person without family. Children that are adults at least respect your parents. Friends and boyfriends come and go.But family is there always.I wonder how she will make out on her dying bed all alone.Nobody will care because what you put out will always 😢come back.Im really sorry for what you will face in life.😢

My parents are both narcissistic and i don't feel like spending time with them at all..they were never emotionally supportive and trying to emotionally control even though i am an adult with my own kid now

Thank you for your to the point and informative commentary. This video has helped to console me after just now having an explosive exchange with my mom about my parenting choices and her imposing guilt on me for not doing things the way she would have me do them. I had to stand my ground and assert my boundaries and walk off and it didn’t feel good, it felt uncomfortable and shameful but it was necessary for my own self worth and mental stability

My mother abandoned us.. we have been reunited as adults. She never admitted to wrong doings nor apologized. Yet she expects birthday gifts, Mother’s Day gifts & us to keep the relationship going because she just turned 60 & is a self proclaimed elder 😂. Um she’s lucky I talk to her. I can forgive the childhood abandonment but the lies drama sabotage & mess she has done since I’ve been an adult is enough to make me never speak to her again. I’m actually secretly planning to move to a different state. She thinks we’re supposed to live near her. Like how can we as adults (myself & my 3 siblings) owe her so much when we were kids & she gave us nothing because she left us & we were all separated & I was burdened to care for my younger sister & be responsible for her. It’s a no for me.

I'M CRYING PLEASE TELL THAT TO MY DAD PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU PLEASE SAVE ME I'M 18 PLEASE...I can't escape ... please..

19 and chronically ill. Parents completely do not think anything is wrong with me so, Im trying to work over my trauma and move out so I can finally have a space where I can care for myself properly.

It’s so sad I been alone in AU over 10 years my childhood been taken away by abusing parents mum verbally and dad physically I thought it was norm as brown culture such as beating kids and they have only 2 kids eldest one is mums favourite always compared me with him since kid I walked away from home at 18 as an refugee by boat to AU by mums financing but I paid back over the years but they always think I have money because I’m living here I I feel like in hell because of trauma can’t have relationships with any girl idk how to handle relationships so friendship always alone and fails my heart is broken into pieces waking up everyday put up smile on my face to make it day to day sometimes I can only work for 4 days sometimes got bullied at workplace for being different skin colour/race my parents don’t understand and still compare me here and there in sneaky way always ask money everytime they get chance(telling we are saving up for your future) In reality living is already hell for me they have running business and my brother still live with them with 4kids eat from that same business I never ask money from them he is still mums favourite she will say he’s not doing great in front me but behind she loves him a lot. I’m stuck!!!

i hate it so much. my dad is so "hot and cold", he's so unpredictable and scary. he says that my mom left her job because of me. he wants me to be independent despite not letting me take basic care of myself. both my parents are so overprotective and dont let me grow up to be my own person. then. i hate it so much. i feel like i owe them good grades, money, time, etc. they never seem to be proud of me and i feel like a disappointment. i feel useless and worthless. ive been carrying around this 'guilt' from when i was 8-9 years old and i never could uncover what it truly is. this big giant baggage of guilt that never seems to go away. at times i feel as if im being dramatic and spoiled, that i should be grateful my parents aren't as bad as they could be. but idk, it hurts. it hurts to see that they are never satisfied with me and are never happy with me. it hurts to carry this mysterious gross bag of guilt everywhere. it hurts to have this void inside me and not have a sense of purpose.

My dad makes me feel like shit almost daily.. if I mess up even a little. he will call me "selfish" "stupid" "blind" ect. and my mom will say my intrests are bad. I just want them to be nice. i feel like im a horrible person and I just want them to be nice to me. I just wonder if im really as stupid as im told i am.

Remember…. Parents don’t owe you anything either.

My mom is the sweetest human being, she is so caring and cares for animals ect. However; so many things didn’t add up growing up in the way she was always expecting me to worship her goodness and what a wonderful person she is and the sacrifices she made to offer me the life she did. As I grew up and went to live on my own whenever I was visiting her (because she lives in another city) she will love bomb me with cleaning and taking care of me, when all I asked for is to have a normal relationship with her with laughter and NOT so much effort from her side. Because mind you whatever she does for me (cleaning cooking even making a cup of tea) she will have to explain me in details all the lengths and effort she went through to do it, and I was kind of over it, because I didn’t asked for these things and I could take care perfectly fine for myself. Years went by and I took care of her financially spoiled her in any way possible to see that it wasn’t enough and she always wanted more from me especially emotionally which kind of set me off and made me distanced from her especially on the emotional side. Now she is visiting me and my husband in a different country. All she does is cleaning and “taking care “ of us and she went into great length to clean my bedroom, and I felt as of my privacy was violated and told her to please enjoy her time and not have to do that much because it was really unnecessary and made me and my husband feel a bit uneasy. Ofcourse she was hurt and wanted to guilt trip me with her “goodness” and took it to such extend by making a sad lie and involving other’s (her sister) into it that she has to go back to her country and if I could book her ticket ASAP. I confronted her gently with the fact that her excuus wasn’t true and asked if she really wanted to go that fast because the tickets now are so expensive but they will be less in 10 days from now, which she replied I can give you my golden bracelet (that I gifted her when she arrived here) to sell and by her the ticket, I told her to keep her bracelet and that the message was well received and bought her the ticket and she is leaving in 2 days. Despite the fact that it feels like such smack in the face the way she is playing the victim role and wanting to end her trip on such a sad note I feel relieved by finally understanding the dynamics of this relationship. Because I always felt guilty on why I couldn’t feel her genuine love when at the surface she is doing all the right things!

My mum guilted me because she’s a narcissist… it is crazy hard to not be there for her with alzheimers. But she has sucked so much out of me, I need to stay away, it exhausts me even imagining planning to be near her. even just the memory of it crushes me. I recommend you list qualifications when posting these kinds of videos.

I'm 17 almost 18 almost graduated from highschool...theyre putting me in so much pressure rn...they always talk about me behind my back and if hurts me it makes me feel afraid to trust them...yet they dont understand why im always in my room, clean the house when heyre gone, never help them, never talk with them...its literally because they talk trash about me a lot and they yell at me so much...im in so much pressure rn for being yelled at...i want to kove out already and if i become a parent i wont be like this...my parents even lie to me...they tell me theyll pay me amd my siblings if we help clean the house but they dont, i dont wven feel like goijg to college caue college i heard is expensive and also because a long time ago...my parents said i need to start doing everything by myself...i dont know what in feeling but i think i have depression, anxiety, or something that causes me to feel all weird when nervous idk but ive been wanting to get diagnosed but i haven't...

I’m about to send my mom a message about guilt tripping us, but I don’t know if it’ll get me in trouble but I want her to understand

What I owe my remaining parent could result in a life sentence in jail for me.

It's not about whether i owe them or not. I want to see them happy, but it seems like i am the one who has to make plans to make sure they are enjoying their life. I feel guilty for spending time with myself when i see them getting stuck in similar routine for days and months. This guilt trio is draining me and i truly hate this feeling

If you are a narc or selfish. Please dont have kids.

in toxic parenting, kids have to be extremely mature than their parents.

My elderly mother is a SAINT!!!!! She only gave true love. Never guilt. I love you mama. I love you so much for the rest of your life.

As a parent who has adult children who think I owe them something. I just want to assert the same is true for parents of adults. Parents no longer owe their adult children anything either. Being in debt is not a healthy relationship dynamic in any relationship.

My parents are expecting me to build a house for them, but that house will not be inherited by me later in life. Is this fair

I think i actually knew i was guilt tripped very early in childhood and i even got resentful toward my parents for it but after i would get humiliated, punished even beat so i had to learn to conform. I didn't know just how far can i be punished for resenting, maybe next time i'll just be left to starve and as a helpless child i did only thing i could i gave in to guilt trip. When got guilt tripped later as financially stable adult they were so suprised their eyes were popping out. They thought they "won" using guilt trips when in reality i felt literally choked for two decades.

Some narcissistic parents hold they’re children back because they don’t want their children to achieve anything at all

I cut my mom out of my life. The last straw was when she stole money from me and didn’t feel an ounce of remorse actually, she felt entitled to that money. Narcissistic, bi-polar, her and my dad fought non-stop growing up. It actually has made me a better parent to understand my kids but those baggage’s I carry are heavy I’m slowly letting them go.

My Mother would tell me that she wishes she would hit me. She did. A lot when I was a child. I've experienced being their emotional dumping ground and other problems.

I take issue with the very basic premise that "We don't owe our parents ANYTHING"

If you don't like your parents rules in there home just move out and support yourself in life what's the problem...parents ain't perfect but some tries with what they have to offer.

My mother and father are the kind of people I would try to deliberately avoid in society.

I'm glad my oarents never guilt tripped me. They were supportive and loving. I think at times I was somewhat of a brat and feel bad about it like I was ungrateful.

I really needed to hear this because for years I had a parent borrowing money from me. They downplay that I have helped them and act like the money I chose to give wasn't enough. I had to set boundaries this year especially because my goals are behind due to their financial irresponsibility.

" wont you ever think of us". When i begged to go to hospital for suicidal thoughts. This was because it was inconvenient for them to take me to hospital . They hadnt eaten i needed to wait till they had eaten because they didnt want to be hungry waiting in the emergency room. Its discusting absolutely discusting

That's how I feel with my mum and step-dad. Yesterday I was domesticly violenced by my step-dad and it happened before and my mum has sugar coated his actions for so long now and now I don't feel safe around from my own parents anymore. I'm having mixed emotions of what to do and I need advice.

Your analogy is slightly over simplistic. It is also a parent's responsibility to raise adults not children. If a child is exhibiting selfish behavior that affects the family dynamic negatively or is presenting immature reasoning in conflict scenarios, they have a duty to admonish or correct these behaviors. I agree that parents should avoid using language that insinuates good behavior is OWED to the parent based solely on what the parent has DONE for the child, but there are many instances where ANY admonition is viewed by the immature cognitive capabilities of a child as 'guilt tripping', 'manipulation' or 'harassment'; especially in the modern culture which tends to strip the parent of any authority over their children's upbringing and socialization. Loving a child involves raising them to be adults. Truly discovering 'who you are' does not occur solely outside of the space of parental influence. BUT I do agree that a responsible child raised to be an adult must eventually be given the responsibility of actually being an adult at the point of sufficient maturity. At this point, the adult 'child' must be given the freedom to choose within the framework of having achieved self-sufficiency. Just my two cents worth.

Hi Asha, this is my first time seeing this video. Thank you so much for validating my feelings. The worst part is, I have parents who will do anything for me but also treat me like this. This has caused me to second guess myself, guilt trip myself, and have low self esteem. I get called cruel, mean, hard-hearted, and judgemental by my mother when I make subtle comments about how I don’t want to be treated this way. I desperately want to move out.

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you, but once your parent takes care of you and you can treat them good thereafter you should do so.