Half in the Bag Episode 53: Star Trek Into Darkness 

"bigger borg cube" fast forward to Star Trek: Picard Rich truly has a gift

I cannot believe I’m like 9 to 10 years late to this party. I fucking love mike, jay, and rich. I’m new here guys. I’m so happy to be here. Best RU-vid channel I’ve ever found.

I love how mike handles Star Trek reviews and criticisms like he’s star treks Dad. He acknowledges the problems, but he’s still Star treks Dad.

Wish they had remade star trek 4 and spock punched a whale.

Jay looks like a mid 90's Chechen war refugee child.

- My name is... Khan. - Oh hello! I'm Kirk, this is Spock and that's Bones!

"Who are you?" Rich Evans: "I don't know." This is the real philosophical discussion I expect from RLM.

The ancient days when Mike and Jay committed to the VCR repairmen gag

"He's 89 years old, what he he need cash for? A Bigger head stone." Well now I am just sad...

With regards to the Enterprise hiding underwater at the start of the film I'd like to quote the professor from Futurama when asked about how many atmospheres the ship can take when its underwater; "Well its a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere from zero to one!"

"Movies" are now "moopies" to me. Now and forevermore.

it's very weird seeing the gang before all of their spirits were shattered by the star wars sequels

"Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?" A: The Moopies

That Marvel de-aging tech is working great! The RLM boys have never looked younger!

"What does he need, a bigger headstone?" oh

"He's Khan in name only." That could pretty much be said about the entire movie.

Mike: JJ Abrams can make a movie. Correction: JJ Abrams makes the same movie over and over.

That surprised laugh from Mike when Jay says "Cabbagepatch" will forever cause me to roll on the floor in tears.

33:13 Mike's laugh

"Do something different. Stop doing fan service, stop borrowing ideas, stop borrowing the exact same story line. Put your own little twists on it, whatever, but we need a new story.". Mike basically summing up my opinion on everything JJ does.

Cold fusion. Because cold. Still gets me every time.

Well, I guess Leonard Nimoy got his bigger headstone. RIP.

The irony is that though Star Trek: ID is the "fast and furious" Star Trek, Justin Lin actually directed Star Trek: Beyond, which is the least schlocky of the new Star Trek: anything

To be fair, Original series Khan was able to force open one of the Enterprise's doors by wedging his hands into the gap. So he had superhuman strength, he was also durable, with all of those hits he took from Kirk.

The Borg aren't going to have a cube, that would be too simple; too pedestrian. The Borg will have a dodecahedron.

I'm here in 2020 after seeing 'Rise of Skywalker' , and you know what, boys? Turns out that J.J. Abrams *is* the problem.

Rich: "They know people will say 'It says Star Trek, here's my money.'" Mike: It says Star Trek, here's my money.

"Star Trek: The Fast and the Furious" Star Trek Beyond is being done by the writer of The Fast and the Furious. It's like poetry, it rhymes.

"there is so much in this movie, it's overwhelming" 6 years later... let me tell you about a movie called "rise of skywalker" ...

From where I stand in 2022, this fun little video from 2014 is like a strange and beautiful time capsual of a bygone era that I never truly appreciated.

Oh my god...the part where they joke about predictions on Star Trek 3 "it'll be a planet sized borg cube that assimilates suns...." And now in 2015 we have Star Wars.

Holy shit a full on Mike laugh!!!!!!

Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace

My God, whats his name on the left's deadpan way of summarizing the plot is just brilliant. "So Khan builds the ship and then Star Fleet says, 'Go away now, Khan."

8:09 Historic RLM moment, the beginning of Mike and Rich tormenting Jay with endless Star Trek trivia

both screenwriters for these movies are 9/11 truthers. I only just found that out and NOW Rich's breakdown at the end makes sense lol. That's basically what every movie by those guys is.

The evil of Khan is established in the original episode "Space Seed" where he will do anything to také over the ship in order to rule the world/galaxy. That that does not happen in this timeline, which is why I do not see any basis for the rivalry between Kirk/Spock and Khan. Just an unconvincing story.

I'll credit Into Darkness for one thing. It does an excellent job of making me intimately understand original Khan's character. Because whenever someone tells me they think the movie is good, I think "Ah, yes. I am the superior being."

Can't believe I've been missing out on this and only discovering these guys a few days ago.

How does mega-star Rich Evans just walk in and they don’t realize who it is?!!

"I'm not sure if I like Quinto as Spock yet. He always seems mean or angry. He does the non-emotion thing as some sort of mean anger?" "More of like an angst, maybe?" This is one of the things I really hate about modern Trek, they gradually turned Vulcans into an asshole race even though that's absolutely not how they started out. Especially ENT is guilty of this. OG Spock is actually one of the nicest people in the universe.

I love how Jay perfectly encapsulated the audience's reaction at 33:15

33:14 There's that sound, ladies and gentleman - the Apocalypse is upon us.

Star Trek: Going Through The Motions Picture.

This is easily my favorite episode Half in the Bag. The casual and monotone way they break down every single plot hole makes me laugh to the point where I cannot breathe.

Rich Evans is very insightful. I'm glad he's being included in a lot more videos with you guys.

Star Trek is about family. And that's what's so powerful about it.

Fun drinking game: Take a shot every time someone in this review says: "To be fair". At the end, ask yourself if this movie is worth being fair to.

I just came here for Mike's laugh at 33:12

Yes...Mike's "Laugh Into Darkness" is still in this review. I can sleep soundly now knowing this almost 6 years later.

This whole review anticipated The Rise of Skywalker

It occurred to me that I've seen Into Darkness like 3 times, and their recap was foreign to me. I remembered things as they mentioned them, as though it was my first time watching it. On the other hand, I've seen Iron Man 3 once when it came out, and I can remember it vividly. I remember each act, what happened, and why, and even a handful of the little twists.

Wavy Hands Jay... Rich loves MOOPIES... Mike's guffaw...(Jay's reaction) Wavy Hands Jay... Classic RLM!

33:12 jay uses "pun" "pun" was supper effective mike retaliates with "insane boisterous laughter"

Never knew until watching way back on these videos that RLM or Jay and Mike are masters of comedy.

"Humberto Cabbagepatch"

Moopies. I still remember this at various times in the week and giggle to myself.

Mike: "Isn't Lenoard Nimoy like 89? What, does he need a BIGGER headstone?" 2015: RIP Spock. 😥😥😥

Abrams blows up other franchises because he can’t get one of his to catch on.

This is like the only episode where they ACTUALLY repair a vcr

They're gonna have a borg rubix cube that has 9 cubes and they rotate to generate black holes.

We need more moopies that are a bresh of freth air.

36:34 - "They're gonna be assimilating the sun." You, guys, predicted so many things in this video, it's making me really curious if JarJar Abrams is watching your videos.

I´m here 8 years later and I love it

problem with this film is that it is trying to be too clever with twisty-wisty plots that quickly unravel when you think about them for one second. Khan and the admiral's plots make little sense in relationship to each other. Khan thinking his people dead sets up a bombing which he could have done himself which for something reason causes the top Star Fleet officers to gather setting themselves for an ambush by a type of ship we have never seen in Star Trek before. That was his ultimate goal of his genius plan? Just start shooting up the place outside a window? No photon torpedo or another bomb? Then the Admiral launches his start-a-war-with-the-klingons plan with the Enterprise as the sacrificial lamb. What was his plan if Khan hadn't attacked and conveniently teleported to Kronos? And why order 72 special photon torpedoes to hit one guy? That should have made Kirk&crew raise a Vulcan eyebrow. What was Khan's plan in going to Kronos? Was he planning to seek political asylum? Just going there to avoid Star Fleet? Why did he bother to save Kirk&crew from the klingons if he didn't know his people were still alive? Overall I think the film would have been better without Khan

8:41 I always love hearing about the moopies.

Mike's reaction to Benedict Cabbagepatch is the best non-Rich Evans laugh ever.

Mike “Who are you?” Rich “I don’t know.” *Cue Mike flinging Rich out of the VCR repair shop hex with witch powers*

My big problem was one I had with The Hobbit movies, I liked the villain more. Kirk was too much of a jock and Spock was too robotic, except for when he wasn't. Khan was more relatable, he had to work for what he got and had gone through some genuine struggle, unlike the extremely lucky and smug Kirk. He was also more intelligent until the script said that he wasn't. Then kung fu master, physically superior Khan is beaten up by Spock, a nerdy vulcan who is an officer on a starship, in other words, someone who isn't often in fist fights. The lazy script writing makes it seem like Khan is fighting destiny, his destiny to lose in the script, all the while getting bullied by the script's chosen one: Kirk.

Star Trek: Into Darkness - It's THE "Star Trek: (Going Through) The Motion(s) Picture" everyone has been waiting for

ah yes, the dark days of chinstrap-beard jay

"Star Trek: The Fast and the Furious" - that joke gave 'em ideas, lads. It's not so funny, anymore. XD

The way these get reccomended and how the story works, it reminds me of piecing together a plot on syndicated TV show

I think there was another reason for this franchise reboot. I'm 23, so I missed most Trek when it was first broadcast. I'm a Doctor Who fan and I love Sci-Fi, but I hadn't ever seen Star Trek. So, I watched 2009, then Into Darkness. Suddenly, I found myself sparked up with intrigue into this universe, then suddenly I found myself with the Enterprise box set, the Original Series box set, the Original Movies, Next Gen box set and DS9 box set (eventually, I'm sure that I'll have Voyager) and "Oh, whoops, I've done exactly what they wanted me to.". Damn it.

They didn't end up working around the cure-all blood in the sequel, they just ignored it. I was shocked, SHOCKED!

JJ fooled everyone into blaming the writer yet all of his films have the same issue. Reliving his childhood one Khan! at a time.

I went to see this with my dad, who was dying of pancreatic cancer at the time. I had to watch the scene where Spock describes what it's like to die with my dad next to me. It was an awkward moment I'll never forget.

Why does Rich have one sleeve up and one sleeve down? I suspect magic blood

This review almost perfectly describes Star Trek Discovery Season 2

that laugh @ 33:14

Seeing Rich getting nice and comfortable in the last 5 minutes saved me from ending it all.

Why does this Star Trek look so cold and dark? When it should be warm and bright. I hate what they have done to all my favorite things.

Ive only been introduced to mike, jay, and rich last week. Love watching their skits. Always gives me the chuckles.

"Star Trek The Fast And The Furious", Did Mike just kinda predict Star Trek 3?

I once shouted "KAHN!!" in the middle of the Gobi Desert.

this video melts steel beams

Can't believe this video is 10 years old

rich please fix your sleeves

This is the Kelvin Krap universe. The Star Trek we know and love has nothing to do with this.

It says “Rich Evans”... Here’s my money!

The moopies

33:14 Mike watches a news report about a mass shooting.

34:20 "The Danger of Khan Was His KHHHHAN-fidence"

I like the jazz track playing in the background: classy.

Mike's random (yet genuine) guffaw at Jay making fun of the Cumberbatch name (33:10) is one of the funniest things in the RLM canon. Jay's reaction is funny too.

"Star Trek: Fast and the Furious" How did Jay keep a straight face?

Damn, was this movie really 9 years ago? I'm old af

Some things that they miss from this review: The hilariously trite dialogue and just how bad (not just Hannibal Lectoresque) Cumberbatch’s bizarre performance was.

THE MOOPIES...I will never not laugh at that.

When I was more interested in the VCR gag backstory than the actual review