Pew Dee Pew Only 1 in 5 Christians even CLAIM to have read the Bible. Did you know that God commanded Moses to rape 32,000 virgins? It's in there! Did you know that Jesus says you're supposed to beat your slaves, even if they didn't know they did anything wrong? It's in there! Did you know that God drowned everyone but one incestuous family? Oh yeah. You knew that, because it got made into a children's story!
Docktor Jim God murdered because they were a threat and was protecting us from any harm. Wouldn't you shoot a robber if the robber was holding your family hostage? By you killing the robber, it is showing love to your family. - Pew Dee Pew.
Pew Dee Pew I don't shoot the robber, kill his wife and son, rape his daughter, and burn down his house. That's what Moses would do. Moses was God's favorite person, to whom he gave the 10 commandments, and God commanded him to kill male babies and rape female babies.
"If she mashes his member, she must get DISmembered" we need a biblical translation with this kind of brilliant wordplay. So much of the original barely-literate goat-herders' plays on words have been lost in translation.
Alex. What a great insight. It all begins to fall into place when you think about it. A group of genius guys were actually taking the p**s and we've all been missing the colossal joke. Fabulous.
this was how serious God takes those scared, life giving organs. "no one shall pity her". amen. this should be remembered in pre-marital dating; that those members are sacred beyond the finite understanding.
People like you are absolutely amazing. Wish more religious folks were like you, but many of them want to remain as mindless sheep until the day they die. Pity really.
You know, for me, one of the best ways to prove that, is to have a nation with no religion. If that nation advance to rest, it's up for them to follow.
''What you are sending me to war? HEY! You girl over there.. ehh put on this ring... But i can't be sent to war i just got married..'' *girl looks confused*
This. It amazes me that women intervening in fights by grabbing the junk of their husband's opponent happened often enough to warrant its own Biblical law.
It makes you wonder if the woman was grabbing onto the guy's junk not to inflict pain, but so it would feel kind of good as a distraction so the guy couldn't focus on beating up her husband, then all of a sudden, there goes a right hook to the jaw. KO! Maybe it worked, but the husbands were getting jealous and just ruling out that kind of "help". "Honey, you can kick him there or gouge his eyes out, but don't do that other thing... By the way, thanks for the help." Good video TA!
"What happened to your hand?" "Someone cut it off." "Holy shit! Why?" "I grabbed my husbands beef mast while some dude was attacking him." "Wow, that's random."
Hilarious delivery. Well done! Do an episode about Exodus, where God kills the sons of Egypt just because Moses and the Pharaoh have a dispute over labour management.
The Jehovah's Witnesses told me about the roof thing. I was on their roof at a baked potato chip party and we ended up on the roof. Only it was dark, and I was afraid I'd fall off, but they told me they had it fixed because of this verse... oh, and they didn't want me to fall either
I realy like how often these strange things happened so much (people grabbing their loved ones by the balls or newlywed men being sent to war) that they had to address the issue. God would MUCH rather address people falling off your roof than human rights violations.
I took a quick look at my Art Scroll Torah and found a comment from the Talmud stating the law about a woman grabbing a man's private parts did not apply if her intent was to save her husband! It only applied in a situation that was not deadly in which she did this to embarrass the other person. Even so, hands were not cut off. Often the Torah uses strong phrases to indicate how strongly the law feels about an action but there were trials and repentance & restitution would stay a punishment.
John and the Apostles? Brilliant! My junk's nickname is "The Octagon", and my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. But I'm changing it to John and the Apostles, no question. LMFAO.
What Acrimonator says is the truth - even if we don't believe it. God made a perfect world, it was beautiful and peaceful. But Eve was tempted and yielded to the devil which, allowed he (devil) to take hold of this world and ruin it. Now he accuses God of all the wrong he's done. Jesus is love. Even if you don't believe this or understand it or hate Christianity for valid reasons - God is love. If we all knew what God was really like, we would love Him too. We would accept His gift of Salvation.
@mkwatson92 yup, he does refer to them quite often, but I don't recall him ever referring to any violent laws, teaching to stone somebody to death or chop the hand off for example
Read on Twitter: "The Bible is just like a Software License Agreement. The people just scroll all the way to the end without reading and click 'I agree'"
@TheStarTreker I never said that science is bad, I love science. I just tried to make a point that you don't have to choose one over the other, they go along together pretty well. Christianity is about loving people and living in peace I really don't see how you can "hate it".
@hawkister As for the scenario. Is it moral to value one life over another? Yes. The Bible says that the greatest love is to give up your life for another. So, if I give up my life, showing I value someone else's life over mine, I am not in the wrong, but showing an act of love. As for 'choosing' other people's lives, it is a very interesting scenario. My guess, my best guess, would be to weigh your options with the Bible, and in the end, make the choice that glorifies God the most.
If you truly believe in an all powerful god then let me ask this, my favorite thought experiment. This is not to dispute the existence of a higher power I just find it fun to think about. Lets say there is an omnipotent God with limitless power. Can he create a stone so heavy he himself can't lift it? Surely he can because he can do anything, but if that is so then couldn't he use said limitless power to be able to lift that stone, but then he didn't make it so heavy he couldn't lift it, so is his power truly limitless? Isn't that in and of itself a limit? And now this thought has become a paradox. He has the power to make the rock so heavy even he cant lift it but in that same logic he has the power to make himself able to lift said rock.
@Wagrid He is beyond all a book of ancient history of that era as they lived and how that revolutionary laws had to be employed to keep order, since the people were savages and acted on their own.
@IceMetalPunk What they really mean to say with the "out of context" claim is that it's not read within the context of their interpretation (which is probably more like simply ignoring parts of the book).
@MrRedthief Actually, according to the very verse quoted here, everyone in the town is supposed to take part in the stoning. It's like a city-wide activity for when you're bored on a Saturday :P . -IMP ;) :)
You're forgetting about how some guy with a Latino sounding name claims to be his Son. He hangs out with a bunch of men, talks about brotherly love, and it's totally not gay.
Thank you Bro! You have no idea how many people send me responses who are so pissed at my comment! I get hate mail all the time. Always thought Atheists had great senses of humor!
@highwind8124 The best part is that it must have happened often enough for them to decide that highly specific set of circumstances needed its own law.
In our local, 'Books-A-Million' store, here in the bible belt, you will find 4 aisles of babble stuff, including a section called 'Religious Fiction'(lol). These aisles are approx. 24 ft long and 4 ft high x 4 aisles x 2 sides. That comes out to almost 800 sq ft of bullshit. The science section is about 4x6 or 24 sq ft. Bible Belt for sure. I guess as a business, they know their market. Funny stuff guys. Keep up the great exposure for the loving sky daddy.
I think they forgot that when God created man He gave own life and own choices .. is the same thing that we know that cocaine use is wrong and everyone will say do not use you become addicted and you say no! I want to use and ready! simple as that ..
@windigo77 That's good .If they know more than me then you also know that they are misrepresenting the books .. and they know it's kind of obvious that matters of the Old Testament or better specifiable Deuteronomy are more lessons for that season more than 2000 years ago, where there were no other rules or laws or anything like that, it was simply an eye for an eye tooth for tooth.
@TheThinkingAtheist The hand was the woman's to begin with. It was God's. He can take it whenever and however he wants. The fact that the woman kept her hand as long as she did proves how loving God is. And, just to clarify, in your worldview, what makes cutting off someone's hand wrong.
Let us not forget his own vanity and ego in which he worried so much about his subjects finding something to replace him, that he created rules that prevented you from liking pretty much anything with out "his approval". His wraith and murder against people making an honest mistake because it is human nature to react that way. Yes, the man he struck down for grabbing the covenant because it was falling over. Doesn't seem to me like he's very understanding or loving does it?
I love when people claim atheist's references to scripture are "out of context". Why? Because before I quote any part of the Bible (and after I see any Biblical quote) I always look it up, in full context. And not once has the context ever made a Biblical quote any less brutal. So remember, people: if your son won't listen to you, take him out to the city limits, tell everyone what he's done, then ask everyone to stone him to death. It's the humane way to parent...God does it. -IMP ;) :)
