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How Narcissists Spiral When They Realize You're Lost Forever 

Chris Seiter
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www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/c... - Interested in coaching with me or one of our coaches?
A few weeks ago, I filmed a video about what narcissists hope for when you go no contact.
And the basic premise of it was simple,
When you ignore a narcissist, you are in effect interrupting their supply.
And for them, this is horrifying.
So, they react accordingly, by trying to get that supply back.
Well, today we're going to do a deep dive at how crazy their behavior typically is.

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25 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 761   
@roberthall9299
@roberthall9299 2 месяца назад
That statement that you don’t know you’re in a relationship with one until you’re out of it! Is very true.
@TwoScarvesComedy
@TwoScarvesComedy Месяц назад
Yep. Realized it afterwards.
@shyn3872
@shyn3872 Месяц назад
Nah I realized while in it
@lifeofaninteriordesigner1305
@lifeofaninteriordesigner1305 Месяц назад
So true!
@gigisgucci
@gigisgucci 27 дней назад
Nah you can realize during
@LooseCan88
@LooseCan88 24 дня назад
agreed, it's like you can't do the math problem until after your out.
@user-sz9pz2bt4f
@user-sz9pz2bt4f 2 месяца назад
Narcissists can’t stand being alone with themselves.
@willembeltman
@willembeltman 2 месяца назад
I cant stand being alone anymore am i a narcissist?
@SoundsBogus
@SoundsBogus 2 месяца назад
​​@@willembeltman Do you check all 9 boxes for NPD? Are you filled with guilt and shame? Did you have horrible traumas at age 0-3 where you never actuated your own personality, was never differentiated, never weaned off the tit? Do you depend on others to define who you are? Are you a nothing, empty shell when others are not around? Do you feel like a victim where it's everyone else's responsibility to make you happy? Everyone else's fault for your failure to launch? No? Probably not a narcissist. We are social creatures, not intended to be alone in isolation, but healthy people are okay living with their own thoughts, spending time in their own company. Narcissists can't even get their head around the fact others are separate, with different perspectives. They can't be alone because there's nothing there. There can be no self-reflection if there's no Self.
@Fingerscrossedout
@Fingerscrossedout 2 месяца назад
​@@willembeltmanwell it could explain that you're not healthy but so is hyper independent. Best thing to do if you're scared of being alone is by fighting this fear by being alone. It actually was the best thing for me but look what works for you! 😊
@Fingerscrossedout
@Fingerscrossedout 2 месяца назад
​@@willembeltmanwell it could explain that you're not healthy but so is hyper independent. Best thing to do if you're scared of being alone is by fighting this fear by being alone. It actually was the best thing for me but look what works for you! 😊
@tracyewilson3536
@tracyewilson3536 2 месяца назад
Nor can they rest.
@nickf2170
@nickf2170 3 месяца назад
When a narcissist comes back to you.....its not because they love you. They either want to relish in your pain and failure, OR, if they view you as successful, then they will absolutely see you as the "happy meal with legs". Just know they are not coming back for you, they are coming back for THEM.
@Portia620
@Portia620 3 месяца назад
It’s a challenge for them and when they get you back then they hurt you more.
@nickf2170
@nickf2170 3 месяца назад
@@Portia620 Yes, that is true. They see you as only a stop gap, until they can land the big fish they are really searching for. And of course, they will make your life miserable through out this process.
@mariannebowman6114
@mariannebowman6114 3 месяца назад
Amen
@alaalfa8839
@alaalfa8839 2 месяца назад
Sam Vaknin said from books, of experts, the only way to deal with a narcissist , is to become a narcissist yourself……therefore narcissism is contagious, narcissism is a defense mechanism toward other narcissit…..but as you break up and move on, you may get back your true self personality.
@melissaschmitt4415
@melissaschmitt4415 2 месяца назад
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
@elspethmeyer329
@elspethmeyer329 3 месяца назад
He lost his marbles when I moved 500 miles & across the Pacific ocean to save my own life. All of them.
@deborahcurtis1385
@deborahcurtis1385 3 месяца назад
Nothing gets under their skin more than loss of control. Dangerous people.
@rainrush3484
@rainrush3484 2 месяца назад
I moved to Alaska and started a whole new life. Life is good now❤
@slizzle6632
@slizzle6632 2 месяца назад
I’m otw to do this now I was worried about my kids as the father but to be safe and be a parent I have to get us a house. I have a parenting plan in place because they won’t let me take them but I’m scared. Is it worth it?
@lilfairycupcake
@lilfairycupcake 2 месяца назад
good for you!
@El_Peto
@El_Peto 2 месяца назад
I'd guess the Pacific Ocean to be sufficient on its own
@user-sz9pz2bt4f
@user-sz9pz2bt4f 3 месяца назад
Going NO CONTACT with any abusive personality is key. Leaving without them knowing is key as well, unless you plan on having a police officer present for their ultimate freak out.
@vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321
@vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321 3 месяца назад
You made ALL points! 1. I don't care WHAT she was. 2. Going NO contact. 3. Don't let them know. That I did wrong. I ended up with knife cuts all over my body, a gun at my head and sleeping with her to get the gun, running half naket to the police. 4 officers with shoot guns and my lawyer friend to get her out of my house. Don't miss number 3!
@ashton1952
@ashton1952 3 месяца назад
@usersz So true. They go crazy and are not safe to be around when they rage away
@ashton1952
@ashton1952 3 месяца назад
​@@vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321 that's horrible 😞 glad you could get away and hope you are doing ok now
@vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321
@vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321 3 месяца назад
@@ashton1952 Thank you so much. It was 1. of november 2022. She didn't respect the restraining order for 3 month. I was not right in my head for 6 months, but now I'm fine.
@JumpWatson45
@JumpWatson45 3 месяца назад
Yes leaving in secret is key especially if they have to get stuff or u have to get stuff out of the house.
@sirpaddlesworthiii5933
@sirpaddlesworthiii5933 Месяц назад
One of the scariest parts for me was realizing *they know*. They know what they're doing. They know they're abusing you and making you miserable, they just don't care about you and see it all as justified. This was a close family member for me and I got away finally but holy crap. Imagine if you were financially or otherwise dependent on them.
@justchilling_XD
@justchilling_XD 27 дней назад
Yeah, they know, my mother would stare eyes open at me to see my reaction when she told me something was my fault (when it was others fault) and if I just made even a small gesture even if I didn’t say anything, after a few seconds of silencie she would give a small creepy smile,
@lilfairycupcake
@lilfairycupcake 2 месяца назад
the only way you can get one up on them is to dump them, before they dump you.
@NopeNotTodaySatan
@NopeNotTodaySatan Месяц назад
Silently!!!!
@dunraptoress5126
@dunraptoress5126 Месяц назад
@@NopeNotTodaySatan Agreed, better they not know until you're loooooooong gone.
@madajuarez7073
@madajuarez7073 3 месяца назад
Sometimes there is no way of knowing you are dealing with a narcissist, especially if it is the people raising you. It is brutal, grotesque and evil all wrapped around a smile 😢. I feel it took chunks of my soul and now I have to live my life with not just the trauma but with missing pieces of information. I am so tired
@NotYourOrdinaryDogWalker
@NotYourOrdinaryDogWalker 3 месяца назад
Keep getting educated. It's going to pass-you will feel better if you keep doing the work.
@041882
@041882 3 месяца назад
I am so sorry.
3 месяца назад
Feel Ya. You hang in there!
@jenniferbyrne4567
@jenniferbyrne4567 3 месяца назад
True! Our brains are made to internalize the abuse and think it’s our fault that our parents are treating us that way. It’s nature’s crappy way of keeping us alive from an evolutionary standpoint. I’m sorry this happened to you!!
@daniellucas6831
@daniellucas6831 3 месяца назад
I was raised by a covert narcissistic mother and my father was absent until I was 14 but he's also narcissistic so it's been a struggle untangling from the toxic cycle. Luckily I met an amazing woman who has supported me and helped me become more self aware.
@ner.tan11
@ner.tan11 Месяц назад
In case you’re wondering, catching them in the act and calling out each of their narcissistic tendencies and holding them accountable for being self-centered with respectful and collected dialogue doesn’t work at all, and will likely cause them to become incredibly irrational and sometimes dangerous. Make it your goal to get out, you can’t help them. They don’t want help. If they did, they’d be better people. Just because you understand the problem doesn’t mean it’s up to you to help. Take your understanding, and use it to make sure you’re okay. You’re not being selfish, especially since they don’t actually care about you. If they did, hurting you would mean something to them instead of you having to defend the validity of your pain
@valeriemoore7834
@valeriemoore7834 Месяц назад
💯‼️
@glynis1007
@glynis1007 Месяц назад
Well said. I agree. You can lay out all the truths, data, logic, compassion, understanding etc., they just shut down completely, even if you’ve laid it out perfectly neutral and as a team player, they will basically disassociate and go on the defensive. It’s exhausting and completely unfixable. I know, I’m in it right now. Lord help me.
@valeriemoore7834
@valeriemoore7834 Месяц назад
@@glynis1007 Pleeeeeaaase don't wait 26 yrs like I did. I am still healing after 13 yrs of getting out. GET OUT as fast as you can and don't look back, look within... ❤️
@hggtg
@hggtg Месяц назад
You're a hundred percent right thank you❤
@NopeNotTodaySatan
@NopeNotTodaySatan Месяц назад
I called out, stood up for myself & my boundaries. Told him I knew what he was doing as well. You know what happened?? Be became so incredibly extra passive aggressive the POS physically attacked me. I’m covered in bruised. Almost a month later & I’m still recovering physically. Mentally & emotionally it’s going to take a while. Looking back I can’t believe the “little” things he “accidentally” did to me physically. These people are dangerous.
@user-tl7rv9bi4n
@user-tl7rv9bi4n 3 месяца назад
Being in a relationship with a covert narc was the most disturbing and most life changing relationship i ever had. I watched videos like this before i entered the relationship but i could not imagine how it would be in reality. Listen to Chris!
@grow2be
@grow2be 3 месяца назад
Same. I made it 40 years and then I just couldn’t anymore. The last punch sealed the deal.
@teralecole316
@teralecole316 3 месяца назад
I felt every word you wrote. I walked down the exact same path. It changes you permanently. Nowadays, when interacting with people I can literally feel my subconscious scanning for threats, gauging whether the person I’m interacting with is a cluster B. My tolerance level is so low now and any perceived red flag has me blocking people.
@NN-re7cy
@NN-re7cy 3 месяца назад
​@teralecole316 💯 Same. I block toxic/abusive people with the swiftness. No explanation necessary.
@RedHeadForester
@RedHeadForester 3 месяца назад
It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who was watching videos like this before (and during the earlier months of) my most recent (and so far only) relationship, but I still didn't notice it until after I ended things.
@user-tl7rv9bi4n
@user-tl7rv9bi4n 3 месяца назад
@@RedHeadForester Crazy isn't it! But it's a clear sign that we learn the best from experience. And it might indicate some amount of grandiosity if you enter relationships with people where you clearly recognise red flags only to ignore them out of so called love.
@pjmrees
@pjmrees 3 месяца назад
This is EXACTLY what happened to me. Married 23 years to a covert narcissist. He divorced me and kept dating woman#3 who he was cheating on me with. After 6 months, he started hoovering me again with stage 1 love bombing. Problem is, I studied narcissism for 3 years and finally figured out what the hell was occurring and told him to go back to his mistress. He still doesn't have a prime supply so he intermittently keeps hoovering me.
@billybobwombat2231
@billybobwombat2231 3 месяца назад
I had a 23 marriage to a covert too, been out for 13 years, took a few good years for me to understand it as well, once you understand the creeps you're on the front foot, until then you're on the back foot, they're actually very basic predictable monsters, I can smell them these days.
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
@PantaRhei-wz5zn 3 месяца назад
Good for you figuring out the scheme of things. Less chance you will have a weak moment, and let yourself be sucked in again. Stay strong*
@greghostetter3959
@greghostetter3959 2 месяца назад
Knowledge is power! 💪 Esp when it comes to this!!
@lilfairycupcake
@lilfairycupcake 2 месяца назад
the worst part is not knowing. now that we know, none of their bs works.
@Janis_Even
@Janis_Even 2 месяца назад
The narcissist will never forget you. But no matter what he is trying to get out a reaction of you. Negative or positive You should ignore it. Much love to you
@snail-post
@snail-post 3 месяца назад
The lack of research data might because Narcissists usually have almost non-existing self-reflection, no empathy and remorse. So they don‘t see the point of seeking out professional help as they think there is nothing wrong with them. The problem always lies with the others.
@queenofphillyshoagiessubs8456
@queenofphillyshoagiessubs8456 2 месяца назад
Spot on ! They don't believe that they're the problem.
@valarielewis64
@valarielewis64 2 месяца назад
Say it louder 4 those in the back 🎉
@kadianbrown4007
@kadianbrown4007 2 месяца назад
This is so very true
@Lyddiebits
@Lyddiebits 2 месяца назад
Yes. My husband is an alcoholic and drug user, I am not. He says he is not willing to put up with my "outbursts and meltdowns" (I had a mental breakdown in December 2023 and it culminated in an ultimate breakdown in January) and he will keep drinking until he is done but he will not get help for anything and will not go to a therapist and say *and he said this in a whiny voicw* "my mommy hurt me". I said, no one is asking you to talk about your childhood (in fact it was MY mom who molested me, and I have gotten help for that) I'm asking if you're willing to work on our marriage together, with me. He told me he was done being married to me on April 13th and said he wanted me gone. I've been living with friends since then, a stable, peaceful home. I love who my husband could be, used to be, but devastated 💔 he isn't him anymore, I've been living in a fantasy movie in my head. Being thrown away is extremely painful for me, he knows this and I believe, he has used this against me.
@saulescamilla3605
@saulescamilla3605 2 месяца назад
“The problem always lies with the others”. Those words you said have a lot of multiple meanings it perfectly describes the narcissist. They do sleep with others, they the problem, always lying to people. They always think the problem is someone else not themselves. They also always wearing a mask among other people and are so different with you. I’m probably missing some more but I’m glad you said those last words it was very poetic to me, in a weird way hehe.
@georgiaamanatides4207
@georgiaamanatides4207 3 месяца назад
I am currently ghosting my narcissist. I find it hilarious the persistance they display attempting to pull me back. 😊
@lisafowler7563
@lisafowler7563 3 месяца назад
😂😂😂😂
@JANEYZANEY
@JANEYZANEY Месяц назад
Amazing
3 месяца назад
Covert Narcisstic best friend of fifty years went way past the point of no return with insulting my wife. I called him out, left. one week later I called and he answered with a pithy condescending attitude. He was reminded of his vile statement, was reminded of my zero tolerance for disrespect, and I ended a friendship of 50+ years. oddky, two dats later, easily forgotten. Life improved immediately. Sad, he brought me no comfort as a friend. Just a taker.
@Portia620
@Portia620 3 месяца назад
That’s a true vulture! They take and take. Pay attention to what people ask of you and what they give
@CodyCole80
@CodyCole80 3 месяца назад
It’s funny how we realize how worthless people were in our lives once we finally detach ourselves.
@CodyCole80
@CodyCole80 3 месяца назад
@@Portia620 🎯
2 месяца назад
the comments in youtube have been a great comfort. Never feels lonely here. Friendly helpful peoplr.
@amarbyrd2520
@amarbyrd2520 2 месяца назад
@@Portia620 Sometimes - if they're parents - they don't ASK. They just EXPECT. And entire families and neighborhoods and surrounding "family" circles can enable them.
@kristina4395
@kristina4395 3 месяца назад
They want to viciously Destroy you
@charlenewilliams546
@charlenewilliams546 24 дня назад
I spent 12 years with a narcissist who was physically, mentally, emotionally and financially abusive. We had 4 children together so leaving wasnt easy. I finally found the strength to leave over two years ago, I was a shadow of my former self, I no longer wanted to live thats when i knew I had to leave. I now have a beautiful home for me and my children and ive found peace and happiness. I feel truly blessed.❤❤❤❤
@snuggleb100
@snuggleb100 3 месяца назад
I am living proof that a narcissist does not change because I’ve been married to one for 32 years countless counseling, pastoral, counseling, therapist, begging, pleading none of it worked. Yesterday was my first day of my divorce hearing and the last one is in June. I’m finally getting out it’s taking me five times, but it’s happening. He’s very nice now and very cordial because he said he got saved and he knows the Lord and he is being very kind to some degree but he’s still drinking and can be very nasty. I cannot live with this anymore he went to counseling and quit because he only went to get our marriage saved not to get fixed and helped, so I continue to move forward without him
@smokingcrab2290
@smokingcrab2290 3 месяца назад
How did you miss the red flags while dating?
@usuallyichargeasacrificiallamb
@usuallyichargeasacrificiallamb 3 месяца назад
Congratulations! I'm so proud of you for making it out!
@Monipenny1000
@Monipenny1000 3 месяца назад
@@smokingcrab2290 what makes you think that she knew about, heard of, or had an understanding of NPD when she fell in love? Have you ever heard the phrase, "Love is blind"? There are a myriad of reasons why we miss the red flags.
@CodyCole80
@CodyCole80 3 месяца назад
@@Monipenny1000💯 I first started hearing about narcissism about 10 years ago. I’d never heard of it prior.
@sampal5352
@sampal5352 3 месяца назад
Happy for you, and impressed. That’s incredibly hard. Best always.
2 месяца назад
Call them out on the behavior. Tell them they are out. Make it known. Its KEY. be safe. Remember you are not leaving them. They are getting rejected from your world,
@Dreareoxo
@Dreareoxo 2 месяца назад
Banished. I banished him.
@user-dc6wz4dv3l
@user-dc6wz4dv3l 3 месяца назад
These are the most thick headed individuals you will ever meet. By the time they realize you are gone you forgot you ever cared. You've been gone for years and they had their wake up call a decade ago. Yeah very thick headed.
@sherrie1111
@sherrie1111 3 месяца назад
This is exactly 💯 it! I can't wrap my head around it because it just doesn't make sense. I moved out in July, and we sold our home. He bought another one as did I. We are literally in court going through divorce proceedings. He has done everything to slander me to every single person he knows. I had a male friend come to my home and help me with some things I can not do myself....he lost his frigan mind, texting everyone saying I was cheating and no I wasn't, saying how bitter he is, litteraly texting my friend everyday with warnings about me. I'm like wtf..dude we are over, like do they really believe it's not over.. can't make any sense of it at all. It is almost May , I've been gone 9 months with no contact at all.
@fainitesbarley2245
@fainitesbarley2245 3 месяца назад
Yep. They think they can pick you back up if they want to - unless you left in a dismissive, indifferent manner.
@sherrie1111
@sherrie1111 3 месяца назад
@fainitesbarley2245 oh I blew shit up and called him out told him he was a narc and I saw through him like glass...hahahaha didn't know what I know now...should've left quietly
@sherrie1111
@sherrie1111 2 месяца назад
@FlyingMonkies325 The irony to your comment, is the exact reason I finally figured out what he was and why he is the way he is...I googled passive aggressive and guilt complex because he was so passive aggressive and guilty about everything and it never made sense....so silly me...of course the passive aggressive continues, he's a covert narc
@clintonnagy1662
@clintonnagy1662 Месяц назад
​@FlyingMonkies325 Well, that explains me in a nutshell. I'm the one who is sick, needs help, stalks, carry guilt, passive aggressive, anger issues, & unaddressed emotional issues. I set out to be better, but I pick the same broken women and end up with a bigger broken heart then the woman I picked before. So, I ask you....who is the narc? All the signs show me the truth. I display many traits. 😢 Maybe it's the traits I adopted from several broken narc relationships???
@NopeNotTodaySatan
@NopeNotTodaySatan Месяц назад
Run as fast as you can (silently) and NEVER look back. Seriously, I speak from experience. Delete everything of that person & go NO CONTACT. It’s the only way to heal & move forward from these diabolical creatures.
@NopeNotTodaySatan
@NopeNotTodaySatan Месяц назад
@daisylane5721 - So sorry you’re going through this. I did as well 12 years ago. Sounds exactly like my ex husband. That’s incredibly typical for these creatures to lie, lie, lie…..
@NopeNotTodaySatan
@NopeNotTodaySatan Месяц назад
@daisylane5721 - I know you want to say SO much to this horrible person. Take it from me & many others…. SILENCE is your weapon. Any reaction is food for them. I understand how hard it can be but you CAN do it!!!! Make his DISRESPECT your CLOSURE!!! Sending you tons of love!! You can do it!!! 💛🌻
@OTR392
@OTR392 3 месяца назад
There's no research on narcissism because narcs never admit that they have it (they're narcs, they think they're perfect)
@LooseCan88
@LooseCan88 24 дня назад
yes sir, bingo
@Beek88
@Beek88 2 месяца назад
My ex cheated on me and was doing drugs with a low life bum while I was working. Was half way through remodeling her house, we got sober together 4 years earlier...I loved her very much. I was devastated but after I left I realized how much $$ she had been taking from me. Life got so much better without her. 9 months later I bumped into her at the store she looked terrible. Super skinny and it broke me down. I know I can't save her, I can't trust her so there's no point in wasting another second on her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but she changed my mind.
@RIDDYxMUSICH
@RIDDYxMUSICH 2 месяца назад
Stand firm and no contact. God has your back.
@ufos-cos
@ufos-cos 2 месяца назад
If you go immediately no contact, you don’t know what happens to them & you don’t care
@tundrawomansays694
@tundrawomansays694 2 месяца назад
Exactly. Or if you have kids, get something like “My Family Wizard” so everything between the two warring factions is in writing-which is the only way you’ll have an iota of a chance in court.
@Katie_Woo
@Katie_Woo Месяц назад
Exactly 🙌 I have no idea what the narcissist is doing and I have no interest because for the first time in almost 3 years- it's not my mess to clean up 🥰🥰
@dawnramberg9784
@dawnramberg9784 Месяц назад
You got that right!😂😂
@Moshka627
@Moshka627 3 месяца назад
I received a crash course here online after I was targeted by a narcissist and my intuition was telling me to run, which led me to this channel. I escaped relatively quickly but damage was inflicted, no contact initiated, my life imploded. He found out my dog passed away last week and used that to show up, uninvited, to my home. I would not let him in, of course and he sped off, got a DUI and resisting arrest and is still in jail because he has burned every bridge in his life, including that with his parents and siblings. These people are soulless goblins, nothing more. If you are currently ensnared, I pray you can find the way out, the sooner the better.
@CodyCole80
@CodyCole80 3 месяца назад
Wow!!! 😏 That’s crazy.
@wendydaniel1110
@wendydaniel1110 3 месяца назад
Good for you. You weren't pulled back into the web...
@lilfairycupcake
@lilfairycupcake 2 месяца назад
its truly amazing how self destructive they are.
@bobandcarolehardy10
@bobandcarolehardy10 2 месяца назад
These people are demons , the psychotic rage the black eyes 👺terrifying , if you don’t obey the revenge is off the wall . run run if you can , the one I knew normalised abuse , I was so afraid I felt I could not leave , especially when they threaten your family , , I walked away no matter what they do , I’m gone for good , it’s like the air is no longer poisoned 🤮
@clintstryder1131
@clintstryder1131 3 месяца назад
Supply is literally as powerful as love for them. "ITS NOT LOVE". From 20 years experience in a relationship with a narc mother of my children, 3 yrs on my own after leaving and counciling. Leaving this person is the only option! Trust me. That goes for friend, partner whoever. LEAVE! You are not human to them, you are fuel and a guinea pig. And a status toy. I wish you peace on either side of this!❤
@deborahcurtis1385
@deborahcurtis1385 3 месяца назад
I narrowly escaped a romantic relationship with someone like that. Instinct preserved me, as he was talking about his ex on the first date with me, utterly obsessed. After that he went back to her, and didn't tell me. Then I saw them together and said nothing. I just became unavailable. He told me many years later he was in an unhappy relationship and had a child (with someone else) but I thought: sort yourself out, I'm not going to be a third party in this. So he didn't sort himself out.. Then we got in contact via social media just professionally, and he tried to draw me in. By then he was divorcing but obsessed with getting back at her. His son is a mess - drug dependent. He expected me to come and see him, and instructed me to 'get your ass up here'. I live interstate. I said 'do not speak to me like that ever'. He was shocked. Since then had a few phone conversations but what I noticed was his capacity for rage. It's enormous he's always angry with me or someone. He puts me on silent treatment but I never really notice. Recently he blocked me. He's finally go the message. He was trying to turn me into someone who expects to be mistreated.
@melissaschmitt4415
@melissaschmitt4415 2 месяца назад
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
@blackswan1983
@blackswan1983 2 месяца назад
Now your children are alone with a monster.
@jeanettecook1088
@jeanettecook1088 3 месяца назад
The narc I left after 22 yr of marriage, in 2008, "spiraled" for about 5 minutes, then he had a new supply and treated me like he'd never known me. Pardon me if I have no pity for that monster. 🎉
@RaisingMyWildflowers
@RaisingMyWildflowers 3 месяца назад
I hope he never feels interest you again. I promise it's so much better that way.
@janm9610
@janm9610 2 месяца назад
Mine spiraled for a week then got a new supply and got engaged even before we were divorced and they don't care
@beautifulspirit2973
@beautifulspirit2973 Месяц назад
It was the day you gained your freedom. They are absolute monsters
@SigmaFeminine
@SigmaFeminine 2 месяца назад
sometimes the primary source is their mother - who they are enmeshed with like a wife without the intimacy - and everyone else is secondary
@Welpkim
@Welpkim Месяц назад
Yes! My ex would compare me to her all the time. She was no paragon and had a bad habit of being a busybody. It was like he was married to her, when his father died it was like he was trying to take his father’s place. He befriended all of his dad’s friends and hang out with them and his mother. It was crazy.
@user-xe3co5gj5h
@user-xe3co5gj5h 3 месяца назад
They will torture murder anyone or anything that is an object of your affection or they think could be an object of your affection. Especially a beloved pet.
@shoutuckerdidnothingwrong
@shoutuckerdidnothingwrong 2 месяца назад
I hope you're not speaking from experience.
@user-xe3co5gj5h
@user-xe3co5gj5h 2 месяца назад
@@shoutuckerdidnothingwrong unfortunately evil predators seek out lovable gentle natured people and when they are angry at them they target what they love most This is why GOD said YOU MUST LOVE JEHOVAH YOUR GOD WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART SOUL MIND AND STRENGTH AND LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF AND PRACTICE MERCY NO ONE CAN KILL GOD AND NO ONE CAN HURT WHO YOU LOVE MOST IF YOU TREAT EVERYONE EQUALLY AND TREAT POOR PEOPLE GOOD AS YOU WOULD THE RICH THEY CANT KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVE Those scriptures protect our loved ones from our enemies. Divine wisdom
@tundrawomansays694
@tundrawomansays694 2 месяца назад
@@shoutuckerdidnothingwrongI dunno about the other commenter but as a child with this flavor of crazy, yes they abuse every. living. entity. Or if you were my birth mother, she broke off the turn signal in one of those big old steel tanks of a car, so it seems even inanimate “objects” get abused too. They’re Equal Opportunity Destroyers.
@missboozehound
@missboozehound 2 месяца назад
My narcissistic neighbor tried so hard her desperation was pathetic. Cut off supply and go no contact. Grey rock and ignore them. They hate it. Block them.
@kittymancy
@kittymancy 3 месяца назад
I truly wish this video gains wider visibility. It's been challenging to find content like this while I've been evading a narcissist for four years. His relentless efforts to impact me negatively almost seem like an odd fixation. Strangely, he has never found someone to fill my shoes. He is obsessed with telling people he loved me and I left for no reason even though he was extremely emotionally distant and incredibly unfaithful.
@user-zl9uj4ve5b
@user-zl9uj4ve5b 3 месяца назад
I agree. I hope it gets widespread distribution because I have come to believe that there are millions of narcs out there doing havoc to people's lives.
@OTR392
@OTR392 3 месяца назад
youtube hides many creators talking about this subject. They are trying to prevent a global awakening against rejecting narcissism.
@REM12-21
@REM12-21 2 месяца назад
​@@OTR392Indeed you are correct about a global conspiracy. They scrambled the letters of the word anti-christ to create "narcissist" , minus the"h" which is silent. It is the spirit of anti-christ that is in the world today
@CrewCoachHeather
@CrewCoachHeather 3 месяца назад
INFJs make great primary supplies for narcissists. Finally escaping the abuse after being married to one for 23 years. Watching him spiral this time is actually entertaining.
@nushunbrushed
@nushunbrushed 2 месяца назад
Word.
@marygoodson4920
@marygoodson4920 2 месяца назад
what is INFJ?
@swirlingfudge
@swirlingfudge 2 месяца назад
Whenever I do the Briggs/Meyers test, I come up as INFJ. But I’m watching these videos and wondering if I am a narcissist.
@zachmathers3480
@zachmathers3480 2 месяца назад
💯 can confirm.
@sassierover
@sassierover 2 месяца назад
I didn’t know this. I am INFJ. Makes sense.😔
@ariesnarona
@ariesnarona 3 месяца назад
I realized I was one of the secondary supplies that was being groomed to be the primary. But even before he could promote me, the primary went silent. Sent him to spiral and in effect forgot about me and discarded me. It was so difficult. I loved him, or I should say, I loved the image of me through him. Learning to move on now.
@JenJenANDChrissy
@JenJenANDChrissy 2 месяца назад
Narc older sister tested me by banning me from her family 8 years ago. She wanted to see if I'd fight to see my niece and nephew and beg her "forgiveness" for whatever she imagined I did wrong to hurt her fragile little feelings. Well, I gave her what she requested. I've been no contact since that day including her kids. Just this past weekend I got a text from her cell but I could tell right away it wasn't my sister's words. She had her 26 y.o. daughter type it and I immediately blocked the number with a reply, "I don't do toxic relationships". The narc will ALWAYS try to poke your old wounds and the only time you'll be free from them is when they die.
@francesbernard2445
@francesbernard2445 3 месяца назад
Your way of presenting concepts concerning narcissism is entertaining making a painful subject easier to distance ourselves from while understanding better what is happening.
@westcoast747
@westcoast747 2 месяца назад
No contact with emotional terrorists.
@NopeNotTodaySatan
@NopeNotTodaySatan Месяц назад
Funny you say that. Told my ex the other day that I don’t negotiate with terrorists. He lost his shizzzzz lol
@karenmcgady7637
@karenmcgady7637 3 месяца назад
Likening a narcissist to the "Spike" character, looking at people as "Happy meals on legs" is absolutely brilliant...Nacissists suck the joy and the life out of people after seducing them (aka love bombing). Great job!
@Jay-oz5zo
@Jay-oz5zo 3 месяца назад
So true. I was dating a (suspected) cluster B woman for half a year, she started taking jabs and lashing out at me, telling me she loved me but not being present and i couldn't feel any love. She said something essentially unforgivable so i told her it's done and why. And called her out for being self-centered. Next day she kindly asks me to bring a couple things she left at my place down to her car after work. I tell her I think it's a better idea if I leave it out for her to get and we don't see each other. Then she suddenly turned into a monster, saying the wildest, cruelest things in an attempt to hurt me. Luckily it was so over the top and obviously wrong it didn't even bother me. I'm sure her plan was to ambush me and go nuts if I brought these things out for her.
@normanbelanger729
@normanbelanger729 3 месяца назад
Watching someone meltdown is frightening and dangerous, but it feels like the natural endpoint to all their behaviors leading up to this point. You can see the desperation and witness the public outbursts, and once you see the outfall it is impossible to not see that, they are showing the sad core that has been so willfully hidden all their lives. Even the most empathetic or abuse resistant person will see this as the final self destructive act.
@rosiechic5590
@rosiechic5590 3 месяца назад
Not falling for this trap anymore ...
@Alchemical_Blacksheep
@Alchemical_Blacksheep 2 месяца назад
Even if you don't know them, one tell tale sign is that they go straight into portrayal on social media
@emmadeofsteel
@emmadeofsteel Месяц назад
I've realised from this that I've become someone's source of secondary supply - I was temporarily his first, but I've been demoted so the primary must be back in the picture now.
@ladyvirgo9514
@ladyvirgo9514 2 месяца назад
Very informative video. I lived this nightmare LIE for 12 years, now in a 11 plus months divorce process. RUN!! They NEVER change for the better
@stella72226
@stella72226 Месяц назад
Silence is golden. Don’t engage with them on any “bait trap” level. You’d be surprised how easy it will be to forget they even exist
@ironman_546
@ironman_546 3 месяца назад
This makes so much sense in hindsight. I'm a child of a narcissist and was her supply when my father ran dry and my brother moved away.
@tundrawomansays694
@tundrawomansays694 2 месяца назад
And then, you did the same! I hope?
@lionspirit360
@lionspirit360 3 месяца назад
Ideal supply for narcissist: either unawoken super empath or covert narcissist.
@claudiasbarra1044
@claudiasbarra1044 3 месяца назад
How can a covert narcissist who also needs supply can be a supply for a narcisst??? Maybe you think of a codependent empath who is NOT a covert narcissist but some times seams to be one.
@lionspirit360
@lionspirit360 3 месяца назад
@@claudiasbarra1044 A covert narcissist is the perfect servant and incredible idealizing the narcissist and let the narcissist abuse him without limit in return for acces to supply. Dopamine, pain, sadism, money, service and so on...
@claudiasbarra1044
@claudiasbarra1044 3 месяца назад
@@lionspirit360 this is a codependent, NOT a covert narcissist 😉...no, a codependent is not sadistic. But I don't know if this can be true because a covert narcissist feels also empty inside and needs supply to fill this emptiness. This cannot be filled by a narcissist....or the covert narcissist has other targets for supply. I was married with a covert narcissist for over 25 years and I am a codependent. The covert narcissist absorbed my whole lifeenergy and good character traits and projected all his terrible stuff onto me and I absorbed it.....without being aware what happened until discarded completed broken. I was left and thought that I was the narcissist.I really became a terrible person. It took me 9 years to recover mostly. It is not so easy to see through all this and to discern.
@TerraDactyl-hc9ff
@TerraDactyl-hc9ff 3 месяца назад
I’m thinking I haven’t woken up yet. My ex broke up with me last night at my job on my break and tried causing a scene to humiliate me. Ruined my night and tried not to let it affect my job. Some coworkers witnessed him yelling at me and he tried painting me like this terrible mother and person. We live together so I told my daughter I would be sleeping in her room. He’s also caused issues between me and my 16 year old daughter as well. I came home this morning and wanted to stay away so I could have some peace and he wanted me to go in the room with him. I did but was emotionally checked out so I just didn’t talk or anything to keep my anxiety at bay. He started laughing because I was sad and wanted me to pretend like he didn’t humiliate me at work. Now hes trying to say we should talk even though he said I was the problem and he didn’t do anything wrong in the relationship. I haven’t been responsive at all. I lost everyone because of him. I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore besides my sister who lives a few blocks away from me. I just feel dead inside and defeated. I just want to be alone. Tired of him throwing stuff at me and constantly blaming me for everything. He’s excluded me and shows my daughter attention and now she’s on his side. They’re both saying I’m the problem and argumentative just for expressing how I feel and speaking up on things I don’t like. I have no safe place in my own home. No one to talk to and I just feel so alone now. I don’t feel comfortable being around my own child because I feel so betrayed. Literally was going to take out a loan so she can get a car and have all the things I didn’t have growing up. It just seems so unfair. What’s the point of being a good person when people don’t even care about you and only what you can do for them. He started showing his true colors after I got him his new job where he’s only making 2 dollars more than me and literally took credit for him getting this job when I created his resume and got him fake pee for his drug test because he smokes weed. I just feel so defeated and want to shut down.
@chocolatesouljah
@chocolatesouljah 3 месяца назад
Thanks that explains a lot! I worked at a school where there was a really mean covert narcissist pulling puppet strings. It was a nightmare and I would spill my guts. I’m wittingly to the flying monkeys/servant subservient covert narcissist. The big kahuna puppet master quit. The rest of the narcissists, there were three of them, came out of hiding. It was wild. It was as if they were calling of bees and the queen fled, and they didn’t know what to do. Oh yeah, they did focus on me! Because they knew that I was a meal if you will. But by then I didn’t buy into any of their nonsense. I no longer work there and super grateful!
@sonofage
@sonofage 3 месяца назад
ah, i'm safe, i was the secondary supply. lol. I left before i became some zombie "Friend". These narcissists are truly everywhere and I realize how low i saw my value towards them. I always felt I needed to fight to get loved...now, i realize that's not it. I walk away because I learn to give me , some love and a break from these creatures of the night
@matthewbaumann630
@matthewbaumann630 3 месяца назад
In my experience, they don't really care as long as they have someone else to parasite off of. My ex girlfriend broke up with me and was with her ex boyfriend the next day.
@tundrawomansays694
@tundrawomansays694 2 месяца назад
@John_SzwedThass right, my friend. I wish I could send just one message to parents: “Don’t hang around in an abusive relationship. It’s a horrible model for us kids.” And the end of this story hasn’t been written yet. Remember, this is a Marathon, not a Sprint. Best wishes, you can do this.
@goldfinger-ub3fl
@goldfinger-ub3fl Месяц назад
This exact scenario has just happened to me
@matthewbaumann630
@matthewbaumann630 Месяц назад
@@goldfinger-ub3fl That sucks man. Did she go back to her ex?
@user-zl9uj4ve5b
@user-zl9uj4ve5b 3 месяца назад
Loved the video and please make more. Keep on with the graphics as it really helps me understand the key points.
@fohtheim9864
@fohtheim9864 Месяц назад
I have a spiritual friend who is a full blown Narcissist. Time and time again he’s super toxic and gas lights me and does everything you said in this video. My excuse to keep talking to him is because I dont have any other spiritual friends. But I need to let go of this desire of mine to have someone listen, cuz this is too much toxic gas lighting bs.
@beatitcreep.
@beatitcreep. 3 месяца назад
My ex figured it all out. Whenever he has to discard his primary source of supply (or gets discarded himself), he promotes his mother to that position until he finds a new one. It never takes long, so he doesn't have to go back to an old source. I'm confident he won't try to hoover me. Right now, his primary source of supply lives on a complete different continent, but he had his mother move in with him. It probably makes it way easier for him to cheat on his primary source.
@ashleykathryn9038
@ashleykathryn9038 3 месяца назад
My ex is the same way with his dad, lives with him. Gossip buddies. Always talking crap about someone.
@beatitcreep.
@beatitcreep. 3 месяца назад
@@ashleykathryn9038 It's the craziest thing, right? My ex and his mother have absolutely no boundaries. She was extremely emotionally incestuous. She would even wear my clothes without asking for permission first.
@ahsenaktitiz9163
@ahsenaktitiz9163 2 месяца назад
Same with my ex and his mom and even his cousins 😂
@beatitcreep.
@beatitcreep. 2 месяца назад
@@ahsenaktitiz9163 his cousins!? That's another level haha
@jaslyn5501
@jaslyn5501 3 месяца назад
Well done. Spot on analysis. Self destruction is inevitable.
@Jae-by3hf
@Jae-by3hf 3 месяца назад
I love Buffy as a teen! I truly believe vampires are real life narcissists! They are all about looks and sucking the life out of others to feed their own needs! I love the graphics as well! They are so helpful! Lastly, I think your bold statement has merit, people look for familiarity and if we come from unstable homes, we will go looking for the same or the complete opposite which is also bad! I think humans have unfortunately normalised narcissism/abuse unwittingly, because it’s all we know! Home, school, work, government all the same cycles of abuse!
@AgiGraycie
@AgiGraycie Месяц назад
I do know that I am in a “relationship “ with a narcissist. I have actually known for years. Because of financial reasons I could not leave him yet. When financial abuse is also present ( and lots of physical violence) it’s not just a matter of I know that he is a narcissist so I am going to pack up and I am leaving . For someone like me it has to be strategic.I left before and I was hoovered, I was stalked and my life was in danger. Be safe out there people. The monsters aren’t under the bed.
@stingray0033
@stingray0033 3 месяца назад
This was a great summary. I feel like this is exactly how things work in their heads. As a victim and once primary supply I think you nailed it!
@skaziblu
@skaziblu 3 месяца назад
keep in mind, some people lack boundaries and will publicly display their grief cycle, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. These symptoms will be very comparable when viewing the narcissists intermittent cycles.
@dontbeadogsbody3564
@dontbeadogsbody3564 2 месяца назад
If you have the energy and stomach for it, just treat them as shitty and dismissively as they treated you. Once you realize what they are, they are a paper tiger. If however, you are free of them, like not in the process of a divorce, just move on and enjoy your life. Not yet divorced, but I am loving having my own life again. Once it’s final, I’ll never think of that turd again.
@whoisimani44
@whoisimani44 2 месяца назад
Same. Separated but not divorced yet.
@tundrawomansays694
@tundrawomansays694 2 месяца назад
If you have kids, please don’t do this. We already have enough “role models” for unacceptable behavior and very unhealthy relationships. Get your legal stuff together and leave. We need one. sane. parent-and it isn’t gonna be either of the drama kings or drama queens.
@dontbeadogsbody3564
@dontbeadogsbody3564 2 месяца назад
@@tundrawomansays694 no children. He was the child. In every way.
@tequilajohnson4772
@tequilajohnson4772 3 месяца назад
This video is so awesome 😂❤ Eff these crazy's you can do %100 better then these aliens!!!
@billdux3271
@billdux3271 Месяц назад
Amazing. You hit the nail right on the head! For a year or so now I was the, Primary source of “supply” for my lady friend. She was beautiful, and I was an Empath, and worse, codependent. I just screamed, Primary. I did everything for this woman, and ignored all the red flags. To say that I was a fool would be an understatement. Then recently I was able to get on her iPad, at this point the bells and whistles were so loud they were deafening. There I found, just as you said, all her secondary sources of supply and I was gone. Empaths are great until you screw them over. I packed all my bags left, and said nothing. I went dark, blocked my phone, social media and disappeared. There was no point in confronting this individual. This is a total a losing effort. They are too good at what they do to get in argument with. I can only hope that she finds a new primary, and does not try to hunt me down.
@karenincali8928
@karenincali8928 2 месяца назад
Wow. Perfect diagram of how they think at this stage. How are you so young & able to articulate this terribly destructive part of the relationship with the narcissist?? You nailed it!
@gretchenlee3321
@gretchenlee3321 2 месяца назад
Omg - this was the best analogy for me. I too am a huge Buffy fan almost to your level of dedication & remember this line!!! This is the best way I could have heard this information! Btw, I such a fan I had a bulldog once named Spike, but his AKC name was "William the Bloody"!!!
@rhast57
@rhast57 2 месяца назад
I have a friend who is really considering divorcing her narcissistic husband. Watching this to prep for that
@rhast57
@rhast57 Месяц назад
She did. Update. This has been so helpful.
@desertdog8006
@desertdog8006 3 месяца назад
This is great. So true and especially useful; helped me heal it by being aware and realistic not just naïve and hopeful. THANKS !
@Nicey90
@Nicey90 3 месяца назад
Exactly what happened to me and I'm the perfect target
@kharnakcrux2650
@kharnakcrux2650 3 месяца назад
Trait #6 I was heavily bullied in school. So I have a monstrously high emotional stamina, and emotional resilience to all kinds of tantrums and abuse..... Unfortunately, this makes me a very prime picking for people like that
@SirenaSpades
@SirenaSpades 2 месяца назад
I find this to be the opposite. as a redhead I was bullied a lot in the 70's and my father was a narcissist. This makes it very obvious to me when someone tries the same tactics. I may be marchevellian.
@yourOKhomegirl
@yourOKhomegirl 6 дней назад
The absolute BEST video I have ever come across in the years I have been looking for answers. Thank you for posting this!
@20WUTEVER
@20WUTEVER Месяц назад
I didn’t know I was with a narcissist for 4 years until I left. And even till today even though all the traits fits perfectly, I’m so brainwashed it’s hard to believe.
@bn5422
@bn5422 3 месяца назад
I love how simplisticly you explain this. I may show it to my person about their ex/ child's other parent. I think this would simplify it for them so well and the strategic word of control is important
@tundrawomansays694
@tundrawomansays694 2 месяца назад
Google “Harpy’s Child” (and change the gender if it fits.)
@jasminegabrielle7214
@jasminegabrielle7214 Месяц назад
I normally don't watch youtube psychology essays but this video was really clear and matter-of-fact. Good job.
@RaisingMyWildflowers
@RaisingMyWildflowers 3 месяца назад
I moved away from home when I was still in high school. I was both my dad's obsession and scapegoat. He ended up pulling a rifle on my mom and siblings a week after I left - although it ended okayish. My mom ended up calling me for help instead of the police for whatever reason - but I just called 911 instead of going back. Police didn't even arrest him and nobody stepped in to help my siblings. I'm in my 40s now and he still goes in streaks of obsession with me where he's stalked me, calls 30+ times daily, shows up unannounced and searches my property until he finds my kids or me. I have cancer atm, so he's taken a step away luckily - I think it makes him feel weak or like he's mortal maybe. I'm hoping he stays away for good.
@kimrobinson6285
@kimrobinson6285 Месяц назад
Good luck with your treatment. ❤🙏
@enlightenmentbarbie
@enlightenmentbarbie Месяц назад
Just found your channel! Great video! I think this is exactly what happened with my narcissistic ex friend. I ran into him recently at a show in the town I moved to, after 4 years… gulp… he tried to act like nothing ever happened and it was just old friends picking up where we left off and also “oh here’s some ways I’ve become more humble or changed etc” which is believable ONLY to the extent that he’s changed his tactics. But he’s the same manipulative fool he always was. When I tell you I drank at that show … 😂 Unfortunate that he now knows where I hang out and has a mutual friend that he comes to visit here sometimes. Wish me luck moving forward!
@MiRiAmetje
@MiRiAmetje Месяц назад
Good luck! ❤
@andreabill7719
@andreabill7719 Месяц назад
Excellent summary. This is the first video I have watched on your channel and I am impressed. Thank you and blessings to you and your team!
@mirandajsummers
@mirandajsummers 3 месяца назад
This is great content and so well presented. Thank you😊
@AdamDocker
@AdamDocker 29 дней назад
For four and a half years, I thought my relationship was just plagued by poor communication and incompatibility. Little did I know I was entangled with a narcissist who would leave me emotionally and mentally shattered. It was only after she discarded me in the most brutal way and two therapists diagnosed me with CPTSD that I began to understand the trauma I had endured. Fourteen months later, I'm still grappling with the reality of what happened. I fell in love with the most evil, complicated, and messed up person I have ever met. I'm not perfect myself; I have ADHD tendencies, act impulsively, and carried unresolved childhood trauma. Despite these flaws, I'm a good person who cares deeply for others. But she, with her cute, charismatic exterior, exploited every part of me. She broke me in every way possible. Her lies, betrayal, and abuse left me in a state of shock, comatose for months. I couldn't understand how someone could be so cruel. She manipulated and abused me, and I saw all the red flags, yet I stayed. Why? Because of my own unresolved trauma, my need to be loved, and my belief that things would get better. She exhibited no empathy, no compassion, and no accountability. Her grandiose sense of self, selfishness, and constant lies were a daily torment. She gaslighted, manipulated, and cheated, all while portraying herself as a high-moral individual who criticized others for the very things she did. She painted herself as the victim, creating conflict out of nothing and blaming me for everything. During our holidays, she would secretly message other men and then lash out at me. I even babysat her kids while she went on dinner dates with exes. She would withhold affection, ruin holidays, and rage at me for not validating her. I gave her everything-gifts, financial support, love-but got nothing in return. Her cruelty extended to mocking my needs and feelings, leaving me in a perpetual state of anxiety and depression. I experienced severe health issues, my nervous system was in tatters, and my self-esteem was obliterated. She love-bombed me at the start, but it was all a facade. Her true nature slowly revealed itself through passive-aggressive comments, stonewalling, and constant criticism. She compared me to her exes, manipulated me with sex, and accused me of things I hadn’t done. She self-harmed to manipulate me, threatened suicide, and raged at me for not soothing her. Everything was always my fault, and she projected her own insecurities onto me. I was always walking on eggshells, afraid to say or do anything wrong. Our relationship was transactional; I was never good enough, and she was never interested in my well-being. She discarded me cruelly, smearing my name and accusing me of being the narcissist. Even after the breakup, she tried to gaslight me and manipulate my emotions. Her previous relationships ended similarly, with her exes driven to despair by her toxic behavior. After a year of healing, educating myself on NPD and BPD, and piecing together the nightmare I lived through, I realized the extent of her malevolence. Her own family had gone no contact with her, a testament to her destructive nature. I learned that she had been diagnosed with a personality disorder, which she projected onto others. Now, as I continue to heal, I recognize her for what she truly is: a beautiful siren masking pure evil. A virus that infected my life, leaving scars that will take time to heal. But I will heal, stronger and wiser from the ordeal.
@andymorin9163
@andymorin9163 16 дней назад
damn... this made me realize that my problems (trying to get a fearful avoidant back) are just a drop compared to the ocean you're going through. sending well wishes ❤
@mr.s2005
@mr.s2005 2 месяца назад
We cut ourselves off from a narc nearly a year ago. So far the most that's been tried is a few texts and calling by using someone else's number. Last we heard of anybody interacting with this narc, she had cornered someone who had once dated her kid. She was trying to get this person to date her far more submissive son who despite his age still lives with her and refuses to move out she didnt act very friendly when she was told no.
@Shiningstar-db3kn
@Shiningstar-db3kn 2 месяца назад
This video was incredibly insightful, like i knew but thanks for the confirmation👏🏽💯
@mtg.6202
@mtg.6202 Месяц назад
This video literally made me feel like I opened my ears and learned a new language I feel like my third eye awakened i am starting to understand narcissists more and more
@NickeyVamp
@NickeyVamp 3 месяца назад
Yay a fellow buffy fan.. lol.. so much fun. I enjoy your vids they are very insightful. Thank you.
@austincde
@austincde 3 месяца назад
Spike bouncing around and exploding is hilarious I'm sorry 😂
@Christinalovesturtle
@Christinalovesturtle 2 месяца назад
Agreed! & speaking from a place of trying to rebuild after one of their final trap attempts including affecting my job in a career I'd had nearly 20 years while I was the primary income earner in the household raising our young son, no less. So loving! 😐
@sacredwaters9
@sacredwaters9 2 дня назад
First time on your channel and this breakdown is really good! You explained their collapse very well. I have a parent who is going through this now! I've intuited this but you broke it down. No, Narcs don't change. They feel comfortable in their mental state. At least for now. I would loved to have come into this knowledge younger. It's a long journey to awareness and recovery.
@L0adedChakra
@L0adedChakra Месяц назад
In the middle of rewatching Buffy series & that example using Spike and that classic quote landed super fantastically. Best reminder, will remember that quote forever! thank you, explanation is great!
@chrisseitercoaching
@chrisseitercoaching Месяц назад
What season are you on?
@ashcash8539
@ashcash8539 2 месяца назад
This is a great video on what goes on behind the scenes. Ty❤
@allans7281
@allans7281 2 месяца назад
Terrific video very intriguing I went through it with my girlfriend for nine months the dynamics involve with this unless you’re aware of it are debilitating
@auntieb3621
@auntieb3621 2 месяца назад
Oh I agree with you. I was a secondary source.. But they kept moving that place and I knew when it felt wrong but couldn't tell you why. Now with time and distance...I see it clearer. I agree with what you've presented here. Well done!
@tomstem1
@tomstem1 3 месяца назад
Dude. You sir are a very good communicator. Like the humor.
@barbiincognito13
@barbiincognito13 2 месяца назад
Your about 10 minute mark, changed my brain. I'm 43 and not joking. Thank you and be well 💓⚡
@noname.mp3908
@noname.mp3908 3 месяца назад
So love the Buffy Spike analogy!!!
@SandraMuller-vs8ck
@SandraMuller-vs8ck 2 месяца назад
Thank you so much for this education. Feeling very blessed to have this knowledge moving forward. God bless. ❤
@alessandradevitofrancesco9819
@alessandradevitofrancesco9819 Месяц назад
Let's talk about the narcissist is a parent. When they realise they have been unmasked and have lost you, they just aim at destruction.
@NotMyWillButThineBeDone
@NotMyWillButThineBeDone 2 месяца назад
I used to watch you years ago for relationship advice. I love this elevation of content! I trusted you then and I trust you now. 😌👌🏽
@patricknelson1471
@patricknelson1471 Месяц назад
narcissist had a good streak with their main supply thats why its so difficult to find a replacement
@asiamayne
@asiamayne Месяц назад
Faccccccctttsss!! This was the most realistic description of the whole lil system. I used to notice that the other supply was at a safe distance. Not really knowing him but then things started to leak out .. one of the was promoted as I ran dry … per-say.. I was made a monster for reacting to crazy making behaviors .. in which I allowed . I also had a high tolerance for abuse because that was part of my child hood
@mint_soup9743
@mint_soup9743 3 месяца назад
This was awesome! Wow! Very interesting.
@whiffle
@whiffle Месяц назад
Very interesting video! I liked a lot of the points you make- especially about why "secondary sources" often don't know they're even a source. I was also intrigued by your mentioning of there being not really any research done on narcissists ability to recover- The thought that immediately popped into my head is that maybe there's not much research on it because getting a narcissist to even acknowledge their mental health to themselves, much less be willing to even try to do anything about it- is very unlikely in a lot of cases.
@Bocco83
@Bocco83 2 месяца назад
My mum is a narcissist. Rn I'm looking for a new home to avoid her conpletely but I already introduced the no contact tecnique. Blocked her everywhere, noise reduction headphones always on at home and no talk or response to everything she says. She keeps on spiraling between guilt shaming me and anger. Today in fact she become violent towards me. Luckily I studied her work schedule and I'm always out of the house when she's in.
@DivShadow
@DivShadow 13 дней назад
Your videos are so well done!
@theymacrypto
@theymacrypto 3 месяца назад
Hello. New here. This is the first video of yours I'm watching. It came across my feed. All you needed to do was say "Buffy" and I subscribed 💪🏽❤
@borgy2354
@borgy2354 18 дней назад
A previous boss literally named their whole team after them with nicknames based on their own name given to their workers and I only really put the pieces together after watching these videos.
@alexhorton7845
@alexhorton7845 Месяц назад
These videos are so eye opening to me. My Father-in-Law is going through this right now after being married almost 30 years (together almost 50) with a narcissist. He cut her off last year on May 31st, 2023. She left, went to another state to love (with another man), but over the last year, she'd been attempting to keep tabs on him. He went no contact with her. He's very sick now, and now I have 7 voice mail messages he received with her BEGGING him to come back, saying she knows he'll get better if SHE comes back to take care of him.
@60b1in
@60b1in Месяц назад
My narcissist almost gave me cancer. I never told him about the polyp they found in my colon, because at that point, I realized 1. any fighting or drama would just make him stronger 2. Me suffering/being worse in anything would just make him happy.
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