How to Approach Women and Not be Creepy 

bruh just quicksave before asking her out lmao

Actually a yes might be even scarier than a no, because of a lack of experience I wouldnt know what to do next

Im a girl who has asked guys out in the past and got rejected. Im actually quite shy with dating, so I am really proud of having done that. It's so nice when you connect and they seem great etc, and how confused they get and how nicely they reject me. They seemed really flattered and appologiced, but they have all been in relationships ... I really dont regret it, because I think it was a good boost for them and a nice experience for me. It can be done with a light heart 😄

Sprint towards them and open with the word 'Greetings.'

instructions unclear, i now have 3 restraining orders.

"If you get rejected but she smiles, then you know she at least feels good about herself and you can feel good that you made someone feel good about themself." Some 5head shit right there man. Expect nothing less from a Harvard psychologist

"Just Be Confident Bro!" - Chad Thundercock

As a bisexual woman my best advice is to not let things linger. As soon as you're interested, express it. Don't be secretly in love with someone for 5 months or 5 years and then confess. It's best to be straight up and give genuine compliments to anyone you find cute. It's better to hear a no and process it and move on than be stuck in fear

"Why are you not worthy of dating? Because if you felt worthy you would feel comfortable asking someone out." Gave it some thought, immediately uncovered horrible repressed feelings of shame. Bawled my eyes out 10/10

Being able to say "At least I tried." is WAY BETTER than saying "Why did I not even talk to her once when I had the chance?"

You're the first person to be able to explain to autistic me that there's a difference between confessing your love and asking someone out. I always thought both carried similar weight so I refrained from doing either because of a bad experience doing the former. Understanding that asking someone out is so much more casual made what I've been told by friends about "just do it, what's there to lose?" finally click. It feels like something I can manage now. Thank you so much for this video and for the crystal clear and intuitive explaination! You are an amazing educator! ❤️

I can't believe I heard a Harvard psychologist use the word "Oneitis" and reference the red pill. Life is pretty funny.

Dr K. More like Dr. C for chad

"I'm a married man and I just said yes to the screen" love Dr k's twitch chat

I love this man. He’s so optimistic.

I blame disney and stupid nice guy romcoms. I got that shit out of my brain after 2 years of grinding social skills. It hurt but it was all worth it.

"What are you afraid of, that she's going to say no?" I'm afraid that she'll label me creepy, she will call me creepy to her friends, and I get shunned by that social circle.

I think another thing a lot of people notice is sexual ulterior motives. Most people can tell when you're only asking them out just to get sex or a gf/bf who will give them sex. They aren't interested in you as an individual or your compatibility in the long term. It's really obvious and, in my opinion, is what makes most people come off as a creep. There is a huge responsibility that comes with dating and marriage, and sex is just the cherry on top, not the foundation. And to clarify, wanting to sleep with someone isn't the issue, it's pretending like you care about dating or getting to know them as a person, when you actually just want to satisfy your sexual appetite under the guise of caring about the longterm.

"The worst she can say is 'no'." ***minutes later*** "EWWWWWWWWW!!!"

ngl when he gave me the flirty smile, i kinda blushed and laughed too what a homie

Dr K is one of the most wholesome people on the entire internet. He goes on stream and helps people, and donates the money he makes towards helping more people. What an absolute legend.

One time, I went out swing dancing and a guy there asked me for a dance. This dude was a complete stranger to me, and I had almost nothing to go on besides his looks - which I was not attracted to at all. Besides, I had already been dancing in high heels for a while and my feet were killing me. But he seemed so nervous and sweet when he asked. I felt incredibly flattered that a) he thought I was worth asking to dance, b) he felt I was worth being nervous about asking to dance, and c) he felt I was worth working up the nerve to ask anyway. So I said yes. We danced two songs together. He had no skill or rhythm. But he had the biggest smile on his face the entire time - and so did I. He never told me his name. We never met again after that. It was twelve years ago and I still remember how happy he made me feel. Ask her out.

I got about 40 rejection straight. most of them let me down easy but a few of them told me outright I'm just too short. I'm 5'2

Lately I’ve been popping the question a lot earlier and it’s really helped me. I let it get to the point where I’ve talked to someone a decent bit to where we aren’t strangers but also not friends really either. If I think I could see myself catching feelings in the future I just ask them out. After one experience of being heartbroken because I waited way too late, I’m not gonna let that happen again.

Literally everyone around me has a girlfriend/boyfriend But yet I'm a 22 year old dude, still single and haven't ever even talked to a girl more than 10 minutes. It's like i'm living on a different realm, a different planet, this whole girlfriend thing seems like it's deleted in my life. an Alien concept. Life is so wierd. Edit: Thanks for the comments, I didn't know it got this much attention but i'm doing good lol it's just I never experienced romance and it's kinda annoying when much people around me do and media constantly doing it as well.

I’ve never thought about the worst thing that could happen is the girl feels good about herself. Like if I hold the door for someone I’m not expecting a date. But if I ask a girl out it can be more pleasant to her then holding the door. I might not get a date out of it but I didn’t have one before asking either.

I'm engaged now, but when I was younger (high school and a little afterwards) I was absolutely one of the guys who didn't know what it meant to treat women with equal respect, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with me. I went through a terrible breakup, and had a horrible time afterwards, but it made me realize that I was the one who needed to change. I thought of relationships as investing "affection points" in the women I was interested in, when I should have focused more on raising and improving my own attributes. It took a long time, but I'm glad to be where I am now. Still a little scared of life, but more willing to be hurt so I can learn a little more.

To add to this, sometimes a girl just ain't feeling you that's just how it is. Just gotta move on and try again with someone else. Sometimes like 10 or 20 girls will say no until you get one that is down.

"hey... hey... hey... hey... hey... hey... "

your description of the thought process of the nice guys is exactly how I thought when I went through this phase a few years ago thanks for not instantly shitting on them the way people online tend to

I never had a true girlfriend until I was 34. I had no idea what I was doing, I never dated, but I knew I wanted a relationship. I figured out the things I wanted in someone and the things I liked about myself. I was then able to hit the online dating and knew things could be messy. Knowing who I was and what I wanted made me confident, and that made my dates amiable and gave me more confidence, even though by the odds my dates didn't end in relationships. Naturally I kept learning how to interact with women, and got an even better understanding on what I would need in a relationship. I kept at it for a year until the chemistry was right with someone and now I'm happily married with someone who is my best friend. I hope this is useful for someone that feels like they are starting at 0 when it comes to dating, because that was me.

Man, best thing that happened to me was asking a girl out second day of classes this last semester. I had a date within my first week and I was smooth as hell when I asked her out. It didn’t end up going anywhere as there just didn’t seem to be too much interest in each other for either of us but it definitely helped me with my confidence and I realized that dating doesn’t have to be this long plan of currying favor.

Doc K just cured my ED with his flirt face #hardasarock

I need to watch this every day. I've heard that women find self-improvement attractive. I don't know if that is true, but I've been focusing on that a lot recently. I just sorta expected that to make women attracted to me, and hopefully get me a match on a dating app, or get someone to approach me. Today I was at the PA Renaissance Faire, and saw so many women that I was thinking "Wow, if I only was even better in some way; maybe more muscle, maybe in an awesome costume, I might have a shot", not realizing that I would still need to approach them and ask them out... IDK I also have this perception that just asking someone out that I've never met before is creepy. While obviously it CAN be creepy, and I definitely don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, just being able to ask the damn question, not be pushy, and (for me) not be flirtatious (I lack social aptitude so I'm not going to venture into territory that puts me at higher risk of creep factor), that's all it takes. Its likely going to get me turned down. A lot. But that's OK. OK... The Renaissance Faire was probably a bad example. A lot of people there are in costume, and I know that with cosplays at least, its easier for things to come off as creepy. In costume I imagine its not too different. I have a friend that since he's broken up with his girlfriend, doesn't really think twice. He sees someone that he finds interesting and, even though he might have only talked to them for 10 minutes, just goes for it. I think its all coming together for me. Next time I meet someone who I think I might be interested in, I'm going to ask them out. Its going to be my first time ever asking someone out. By writing this down and commenting this, by having other people see it, I am hoping to make myself feel a mental obligation to pull through on this.

You just approach them like you would any other person. By dwelling on the fact she is a woman, you're doing it wrong.

I have extreme fear of making a fool of myself. I don't even know why or who would laugh at me, I just feel like unless I absolutely nail it, I'm gonna regret even trying and the memory is gonna haunt me for years.

I finally culminated to that point of confession and I felt miserable afterward because she couldn’t just tell me no. She made no points against liking me but also had no intention letting me down. I don’t think that was a healthy relationship to stick with for 3 years, but I also didn’t think of it as something I wanted a relationship with to start with. I didn’t realize my feelings until it was too late, and waited even longer because of complacency. Talk about a bad case of oneitis! Hearing someone say that outright instead of me mulling it over in my head repeatedly helped a lot. Im most sad about losing someone who was a good friend because I couldn’t deal with my emotions properly.

RU-vid algorithm has decided im a creeper with no social skills. NICE!

I understand the whole "what are you afraid of? that she's going to say no?" - which is true but totally looking at this with tunnel vision; there *are* a lot more things that can and probably will happen unless it's a totally random person at a bar or club. What I'm afraid of (some of this from personal experience and some observed experience) is ... 1) That the person isn't actually interested in you - they're leading you on so they can get you to say you like them so they and other people can then make fun of you for it (happens a lot in workplaces). 2) They'll sleep with you just so they can tell other people how good you are or what size you are (another workplace nightmare or just friends of friends/acquaintances; it doesn't matter if you're "good" in both respects, the fact that they strip you of your privacy really wears away at your confidence; and also, I don't think "doesn't matter, had sex" at all makes up for that paranoia of who knows what about you now). 3) If it's online, getting catfished by someone with a fake account (e.g. a coworker, someone you graduated with, etc. people within your network) and showing your texts or other communication to people you know to be made fun of. There's more examples, but those are the big ones I've encountered. Ultimately they all boil down to doing X to learn more about you and make fun of you, which on its own seems harmless (just embarrassing and it just wears away at your ego), but in actuality it then sometimes goes a step further and people that *would have* otherwise been interested in you now get to know intimate (possibly false) info about you that influences their perception of you and now they don't pursue anything. Also, if you're above them in promotion at the same company, it can backfire on you job-wise which is scary.

Invest in yourself means work out for a lot of gamers. Once you prove to yourself that physical struggle makes you greater it becomes easier to recognize other challenges to grow from. That attitude toward challenge is, in my eyes, confidence. Working on it boyos

8:05 dude holy shit you just said whats on my mind for 2 weeks. I've been in a class with a girl that I like for 1/5 months I was wondering what the hell am I going to say to her to ask her out these lines are perfect for my situation I'm going to ask her out in 3 days wish me luck guys

He is so right. I got in some complicated situations with some male friends, after I was single (9 years relationship). I got invited in meeting with other friendgroups, I feel socialiced after a long time. The realitionships were with 0 hints of interest romance, they were only nice to me and I feel social and happy. The problems start then I was alone with them. It got really weird, they try to get romantic and toutchy. Then I rejected them und told that I wasnt interested in a relationship, the invites droped to 0, no chatting, no contact. I was only meat in the potential girlfriendmarket. Happend 3 times... so I gave up to have good male relationships, because I dont want to get hurt and they dont get hurt.

Great advice but I have to disagree with this idea that developing romantic feelings for a friend over time is a bad thing, yes it doesn't work but why should it be considered a bad thing? Isn't it weirder to overly invest in a relationship with a stranger and feeling stuck in it because you've already started dating them but you don't really know them either? I feel weirder to flirt with strangers because its so directly obvious that its contrived and purely for dating reasons, whereas befriending them actually shows you're interested in their life, no man who gets 'friendzoned' after confessing is suddenly like 'well no issue then I can just stop talking to her', its a devastating feeling and its so difficult to manage because you still want to be friends with that person because yes, you do treat them like a human. Sometimes it isn't a confidence issue at all, some of us actually have different methods of dating outside of 'finding the perfect moment between stranger and friend where you can ask them out because that's the rule'. Idk man I don't think we need to keep telling men how to not be creepy, I think the entire dating paradigm could do with some revamping, why is the onus so heavily on men? Fyi I have a girlfriend of over 4 years.

01:11 🔄 Balancing self-improvement and relationship-seeking is important. Focusing solely on oneself may cause missed opportunities, but fixating on finding a relationship can lead to being perceived as a "nice guy" in the friend zone. 06:31 🔄 Striking a balance between self-improvement and pursuing relationships is key. Overinvesting in a specific relationship can lead to the "friend zone" dynamic, while waiting for relationships to come naturally may not yield results. 08:13 💬 Authenticity and respectful communication are crucial when approaching someone you're interested in. Keep it genuine, be clear, and a touch of flirtation can be added without overdoing it. 09:27 🚫 Excessive flirting can come across as creepy.Balance is key; be genuine, show interest, and respect boundaries. 12:56 🤔 Building courage to approach someone involves facing the fear of rejection. Recognize your own worth and be comfortable with the possibility of a "no" response.

The thing I fear the most is what I will feel inside myself after I asked someone out - that feeling of embarassment regarding what I say, HOW I talk, the body language I use, the face expressions I make and all the other factors that the girl (if she's paying attention a little) will notice. I don't have any experience in this but the most crucial thing is that I hate almost every aspect of myself - I am goofy with girls, I stutter sometimes, I can't keep a conversation going and I have the bad habit of thinking too much on how I'm doing even in the middle of a conversation. If I don't boost up my self-confidence I won't ever even dare to try to get to know a woman.

I think my summed up answer for our friend who asked the question is: Yes, focus on yourself as your 1st priority, but also get used to asking out a girl who you get attracted to. Basically, prioritize yourself, and ask women out as a side thing. And for us men, dating is just a numbers game. Realize that you WILL get rejected probably the majority of the time. So get used to rejection, because statistically it will happen. It's a numbers game because if you ask enough girls out, most of them will reject you, but some of them will go out with you. And that's all that matters. You don't need 100% success rate, you don't need to be able to attract EVERY girl you meet and NEVER get rejected. All you need is to ask girls out and get rejected until one of them says yes and decides to date you. That's why rejection isn't really a big deal. If an attractive girl rejects you, she's not the first, and definitely not the last. Next week you might see another attractive girl who might not reject you. As I said, purely a numbers game.

I really wish that it was the social norm for girls to ask guys out just as often as the vice versa

"So the friendzone starts with a lack of confidence" Can confirm this

Damn I kinda wanted to hear more on the "feeling worthy of dating". My struggle is I don't. That delves into some deeper more personal stuff though so I can see why he didn't go further than that.

People don't know what to do or how to react to someone saying no. A lot of people have little to no experience asking other people out. In most of their heads they only imagine the possibility of a yes and the glee that comes with it. But the reality is no is very likely. And that word will have you caught up and nearly petrified if you hear it. Most people aren't prepared for it, despite being the ones to ask someone out. And that's not even mentioning the awkward future between yourself and this other girl. Unrequited love can be one of the sadest things people experience, but most people just don't know or have any experience with how to deal with it. When you confess your love for someone, it's the equivalent of telling the other person that you view them a lot higher then you. The ultimate shot to your confidence, status, and worth. When the person says yes, they most likely don't see you that low and the "power balance" between the two is restored. When someone says no, you feel like even more shit, this other person has a reinforced idea now that they are worth more to you. There now becomes a major "power imbalance" which is the catalyst to potentially creating more problems in the future. Humans aren't made to scoff at the idea that you practically prostrated yourself in front of someone, put yourself beneath someone else and confessed their worth and importance to you. This isn't something most people can just smile after and be like "yeah, okay." However, I think the more you educate yourself on the idea of power imbalances, you realise how much more worth you deserve to give yourself. These days, especially with technology and social media or dating apps, women are given the ultimate ego boosts, confidence boosts and the idea that they are worth more then you. i think this adds even more to the struggles that most men have with dating. The important thing to take away from this is, don't put yourself down. View yourself higher and don't purposefully put yourself down in front of others. Always expect to be turned down, always expect to fail, but move on anyway. In my honest opinion i feel like maybe society would be better if people never complimented and maybe never even insulted/disrespected each other. With that I believe this modern day "power" system would take a dive and a lot of these problems with dating wouldn't be a thing. But that'll never happen as long as simps exist. So, never think less of yourself and never put yourself down in front of others. No matter what.

Idk about other people but to me I feel like my problem isn't asking a girl out and being rejected, its actually her accepting and then being rejected after she gets to know me. I know, like Dr K said, I do feel like I'm not worth dating, but being rejected after someone gets to know you is terrifying

I think it's a mix of confidence issues AND the fact that most movies depict the guy who does all this getting the girl

be attractive, handsome, confident, and lucky - duh, so simple

Dr K literally throwing the old "Just go talk to her bro"

i got ridiculed by whole class for asking out girl in primary school even tho i know it was a long time ago(i am 18 now), every time when i think about asking girl out i have panic fear of rejection i can't fight, that situation from primary school also caused body dismoprhia, so even tho i lost more than 20 pounds and now i weigh 130pounds with 5'3" height i still feel fat and unatractive, also got bulimia from trying to lose weight. i tried asking few girls out but it always ended with no, in middle school i heard "Ewwwww" instead of no and it made my self-esteem even worse and deepend my fear of rejection, now i can't even talk normaly with girls beacuse i always feel like they hate me and laughing about my appearance, i really want to change it but therapy isnt an option beacuse i am trying to get into military

12:53 that shes going to tell every other woman she knows how undateable you are, or shes going to get everyone's attention at the place and publicly humiliate and shame you amongst everyone else there and make it so you can never show your face there again. Which happened before and not even in the context of dating. Just women being cruel to me.

I used to be afraid of coming off as rude or creepy. But by forcing myself to do it more and more I have come to realize that not only is it perfectly fine, but as you said, it's gonna make them feel amazing.

I know you watching this Mr. Fedmyster

female here, most helpful dating advice I have heard was from Matthew Hussey (has tons of videos on yt) and he said that define the kind of partner that you want and then critically think about yourself if such a person would be attracted to you as well. So e.g. if you want an extroverted person that is the life of the party, I know that this person would not be interested in me long term because I am just not. Then rethink if there are things that you could work on, what are things that you will not change about yourself though and maybe re-evaluate of what you want in a partner. Next question, what would that sort of person like to do in his/her freetime and where would he/she be so that you could go to these places and see if there is somebody interesting. Helped me to find a partner really quickly, because I knew also what sort of questions I needed to ask, what qualities to look out for, but ofc there is always a part of luck as well.

12:00 “I’m a married man and I just said yes to the screen.” Lmfao

I feel like venting some of my thoughts. I think in the past (15 years old ) i was at the point of "im too scared to ask her out, what if i confirm my suspicion of being unlovable" like you said or "I literally can't do this right on my first attempt and will destroy my reputation if i fail". But now (23 years) I have been living with this mindset for so long that the dream of a girlfriend, intimacy or love has died. It doesn't even feel like a real thing that is achievable. As if dating a girl is exclusively a male fantasy. I have never witnessed a man getting into a relationship with a woman and I don't have a single male friend in a relationship. Everyone I know who is, just always was. It feels like this one thing that is supposed to be part of life but locked behind a hidden skill tree that was part of the preorder deluxe edition for life that i didnt buy and can never unlock. Overall this comment is a pretty pointless attempt at venting some of my frustration with silly metaphors. But just think for a second. The conspiracy theory: "Sex is a lie" Damn i should talk to someone...

Step 1: Be attractive

I dont think people have issues of asking someone out and flirt because they fear rejection itself. Its more along the lines of trying to avoid the discomfort of uncertainty. The lack of control and not knowing what comes next. A "yes" might be just as terrifying for the inexperienced as a "no"", because being single is all they know about. Being in a situation youre not used to can feel pretty bad even though you have a deeper desire of actually making this work out. I used to be pretty shy and awkward and avoided approaching girls and be straight forward because i feared to make myself look stupid. If i were confIdent n my flirting skills then i can take a rejection and think its her loss. But i dont want to create an awkward situation where i dont know what to do.

that always happens to me! I go up to a girl and then I start COOOMING VIGOROUSLY!

I'm gonna disagree a little with the "girls dont find being asked out creepy." I've had situations where me asking women our have caused them to be depressed because they have a thought of "why can I only attract men like him" and this is usually girls who are into video game or stuff I'm interested in.

Holy shit, I love how much you simplify this. Its a lot clearer now and a lot of my previous issues make sense

Sprint towards them and yell, “Hey, it’s me Goku!”

Thanks. Dr K. This helped me realise that actually in my head I don't think I'm worth dating and I think this is why I haven't been asking women out. But now I know I I want to work on improving how I view myself.

A guy on the freeway mouthed “you’re so beautiful” and rolled down his window to get my number…about a month ago…I’m still thinking about how nice it was to have someone bold enough to do that because it’s so rare. In several years it’s only been a few times that anyone has approached or talked to me. A lot of us are single and would be kind.

It's really interesting because I've watched this video in the past, but back then I wasn't as receptive as I am today, and especially I did not go to a therapist who could help me pinpoint the reason for my shortcomings when it comes to women. And now that I know what it is, I can say that this segment addresses that EXACTLY. I don't feel like I'm good enough to date even though I never got any negative feedback from the outside and in fact it's quite the opposite: I have several friends (men and women) who enjoy my company and are constantly inviting me to events, I don't look half bad, and in fact I could even be considered handsome, I've been rejected a couple of times, but every time there was an absolutely valid reason that had nothing to do with me etc. I'm kind of paralyzed at the idea of talking to a woman I like but I don't know, it's like I need somebody's permission or have to earn the right to do it. I feel that finding her attractive isn't a good enough reason because what if she thinks I'm superficial or only like her for her body? When in reality it's probably not as slimy as I think it is and I wouldn't be doing anything bad. In fact, if my friend breaks the ice for me I don't feel bad, and the only sensible explanation for that is that I think it's appropriate when other people do it, but not when I do it. And the only sensible explanation for that is a severe lack of self-confidence. I still feel like I have a very long way to go, but knowing is half the battle :)

I barely ask out girls because I’m so self conscious of how I might come off.

this is exactly me... wtf no wonder i'm a 26 year old virgin. I gave up on pursuing romantic relationships about 2 years ago because I thought no woman was going to ever going to like me. I did exactly like you mentioned: went to the internet and asked for advice and was told to focus on myself which is what I'm doing right now...

As a very wise person once said, the only difference between being creepy or sweet is the perception of the other person. If they like you you will always be sweet, if they don't like you, you will always be the creep.

This was probably the most useful video I have watched. I asked a girl to dance with me at a club after watching this, I got rejected, I expected that, but now the fear or awkwardness is no longer there. Thanks a lot Dr K.

I’m intentionally creepy which makes me an absolutely irresistible cutie pie that’s completely irresistible to women. I state that I’m an actual “pie” and they say they want to “eat me”. I then reply “that’s kinda kinky” and exert my masculine aura by doing my sigma male dance which includes elements of R&B and “I bless the rain down in Africa” style dance moves.

so my S.O. is kinda shy naturally and now we've been together a long long time I know they can also be fairly insecure (like everyone can be) but when we met one thing that made me feel comfortable was that the ball was always in my court. they made their intentions clear without being pervy, and then said 'but no pressure I will be okay if it's a no'. feeling like a no won't crush the person (even if it temporarily will) makes it so much easier to say yes.

"Worst she can say is no" Clearly you've never had the 'ew' response before

For me, asking people that i don't know personally a bit doesn't have the problem of "She might say no" but more "she might call the police on me" (something that i've been threathened with multiple times before, without even interacting). Like, i feel like im fine, but evidently i make people around me, especially of opposite sex, feel like im some sort of creep. (The whole "do they feel good" thing. They don't. Thats sort of the problem.). Then when i know people more, the fear goes from "might just straight up think i'm a Criminal" to "Might think i never was their Friend", which maked it hard to commit to asking, since losing friends is such a bad time.

Very good advice for asking someone out without being a creep. Another consideration that is sort of implied in this video is some people prefer where they meet like keeping it organic instead of randomly asking this someone out who you've barely known.

This is pretty big bc all Ive ever heard is the call against being creepy and never what being creepy constitutes or how to fix it. I'm glad you made this.

Use UwU as a period in every sentence you speak to women verbally, IRL, works 120% of the time.

Another factor is also attractiveness sadly. If you’re good looking you get away with a lot more.

This video was a wake up call for me. I am in that exact situation where I am mentally and financially ready for a relationship. But I cannot seem to find one because I am too afraid to be rejected.

Dude you need to have Theo Von on your show. He is one of those guys that struggles with alcoholism and the negative emotions.

Girls love heavy breathing do that

For me, with past trauma there's this intense deeply ingrained feeling of shame for being at all interested or attracted to someone. What ends up happening is it feels like there's this wall, something that blocks me and completely prevents me from making any kind of move. I WANT to say something, I try to work myself up to say it, but something is just completely blocking me from doing it.

The story from 3:00 to 5:15 is exactly what I did, but I never fell for that again. It was the last time I ever loved someone.

I struggle with it taking a very long time to fall for someone. I can look at a girl and think, hmm I might be intrested in her in the future. And I'm able to flirt. But it's always scary to lead someone on when maybe after a while I find out there aren't any feelings developing

I have a hard time believing any girls are into me because of Aspergers. I just feel way too awkward for flirting to be worth it. Sometimes I can seem passably normal, but I think the more people get to know me the more weird I seem.

8:05 i think i want a date with dr.K. damn that was smooth

Flirting requires confidence AND knowing the right balance of very complicated social cues? Phew, I'm toast.

Some psychology: Indulge me for a moment Dr. K I do not hold a degree in psychology. There is a foundation required in forming intimate relationships. The first is recognition of self (self-aware, self-regulation, motivation), the second is recognition of others (empathy, social skills). Self-confidence is a component of self-awareness. One way to reflect on the above in a real world way is to ask the following: Do you fundamentally agree that people are responsible for their own happiness? Do you fundamentally agree that people are responsible for their own basic needs? If you answer yes and can satisfy the above, with your foundation in place, you are now ready to pursue an intimate relationship. Now you have to understand your audience (women) and how they communicate, which is not like men. The underlying dynamic for intimate conversations between a man and woman (finding a girlfriend) is she will see you either as a mate (sex) or as a friend, with really nothing in between. The reason to work on yourself is to increase your mate value to women. This is based on your complete persona, and should project who you are as a person. Meaning your message should be congruent (in agreement) with verbal, nonverbal and mannerisms (gestures). There is no universally attractive man, only women's personal preference which is extremely varied. You want to project the best version of you. When women see you they will make a judgement on your mate value, and start flirting if attracted to you. I use the word flirting to mean communication without conversation. Interacting nonverbally before you meet, it is a skill. If you flirt back and she responds in kind, then go over and talk. Never cold approach a woman who does not show initial attraction to you, in a social setting you will come off like a creep. Initial attraction is needed to form an emotional connection which will lead to intimacy. TIP, never try and convince a woman to like you. She will either be attracted to you or not. Remember: women choose men for mate value (sex). Do not pursue women you think (or media has told you to think) are attractive without them showing initial attraction to you first. Mindset: You are not a conquering Knight you are a Peacock. Every man is unique. If you satisfy her type she will show interest. Because selection is so specific for a woman, there is no need to compare yourself to other men. Also, women's tastes are so varied there really is no identifiable league to satisfy. The takeaway is, you are unique, never compare yourself to other men or women in terms of looks. Just be the best you. One last tip: When you start a conversation with a woman who shows initial attraction, frame your intent in a simple and no pressure way, like to have fun, or learn something about her. Do not have any notions about phone number or dating or anything unreasonable, due to the fact you know nothing about this person, and until you do, you really will not know what you want.

My boyfriend was single for 8 years because he was insecure and shy. One day he simply asked for my number and we've been together for 3 years. Guys, rejection isn't a big deal. Asking someone out isn't a big deal. If you don't shoot your shot, you could be missing out on a great relationship💝

👥 Balancing self-improvement and finding a relationship - Focusing on oneself is important, but solely focusing on oneself may lead to missed opportunities. - Investing too much in a relationship can lead to being in the friend zone. - Authenticity and a little bit of flirtation can go a long way in asking someone out. - Overdoing flirtation can come off as creepy. - Confidence is key in approaching someone and asking them out. - Rejection is a possibility, but it shouldn't deter one from trying again. - It's important to view oneself as worthy of dating. - Making someone feel good by asking them out is a positive outcome, even if they say no.

Just don't be ugly.

fear of rejection has ruined my life and what I would give to have another chance

i'm not afraid of being "rejected" but i think i have a superpower, the girls i ask out become automatically engaged, it's like every girl's a Schrödinger girl which gets an insta-bf as soon as i ask them out.

I was too afraid to ask someone out but I found the best wingman ever and he helped me build up enough confidence to go over to someone and just ask Now i realize you just need to ask

I was single for 23 years till this year when I had my current first GF. I was told to work on myself. I did. Then I started chasing women. Got a couple of rejections. Then I got drunk at an Anime Convention. And my drunk ass was like "hey, you know what you need to do? RAISE your standards and go for the girls that are out of your league". And the very next girl I asked out on a date (my current GF) while still tipsy said yes. Best decision I made and it makes no sense as to how it came out with a positive outcome.

The problem is I don’t have a job