I agree it's just best to ignore the emotional abuser as much as possible, instead of confronting them. First, they are very good at manipulating, and they'll probably twist your words so you end up feeling bad about saying anything.
barbh1 Yeah just mirror their attitude. They will never learn through words. In fact they will use them against you. Knowledge is power, silence is power. If they demand explanation for your change (not being available anymore), you have no time (make excuses, just like they used to do) and if they insist, play dumb. Say you are really busy and will respond soon...but you don‘t. Give them a taste of themselves... But NEVER tell them what you think! Their inferiority complex is like a deadly insect. Protect yourself at any cost! ❤️
I learned this the hard way. Every time I tried to have a conversation to save the friendship, she would gaslight and make herself the victim. It's sad when you realize someone who you were once close to is toxic, but you'll be so much happier once you let them go. I live with her, so I still treat her with kindness, but I just expect her nasty behavior. This keeps me from being disappointed by her actions while also still being a good person.
Julia Rose I had a friendship with a lady narcissistic. I was grieving over a parent dying of cancer and relying on this narc for emotional support. My family members are emotionally abusive so I could not rely on them. I had to cut off my relationship with her and some of my family. If you live with a narcissist move away from them and cut all contact.! They will eat you alive.
I try to avoid people who live life like it’s a game. Every interaction can feel like a power play, a play for dominance. Yuck! Who has time for that? Why not just live life in a joyful, spontaneous way?!
Totally! I'm repelled by people who gamify every interaction or constantly talk about who has leverage. Live and let live. Joyful and spontaneous - amen!! :-)
It's true, but when the abusers are parents or people you must live with because you have no other option, it's really difficult to do much about it. It's not like you want to be a doormat, but sometimes you don't really have a choice, unfortunately.
If you stop them from verbal abuse, they will find other ways, e.g. saying that you don't earn enough money and you should give more into the family budget. There are people with whom the only solution is to leave. It's really hard though because most our common friends just love him, adore him and don't believe me when I say he is a totally different person in public, among friends and behind closed doors. There are just a few people who support me. I just hope I can make it and move away. But I know if I don't do that I will fall ill again. I have been struggeling with serious health issues in the past 4 years. His answer to this was "It's only in your mind. Why don't you just try to ignore your illness?" (which means work as much as earlier)
@@sweetgeorgia70 Speaking from experience, if you move away your health will slowly start improving. In about a year you will be a completely different person in what concerns physical illnesses, but I can assure you that healing the emotional damage will take much, much longer than that. I pray you manage to get out and finally breathe. You will never regret leaving. God will make a way for you to be able to support yourself financially. Wishing you the very best!
My person who I live with is a master at breaking a person down really likes to engage u as u first wake up at 5 am or,7am has learned to hit u as you have barely awaken to set the guards up for the day and then just bombards,and explodes with crazy ridiculous,arguments. 🤪 like why did u cut something in this pan you put this,scratch in this pan ie:a Walmart or thrift store pan!) Hmmm and then blows thru that to hit u with 20 or,30 things that are very foolish and just crazy subjects that he held in that bothers him. The key is everything bothers them anyway he can manipulate change who you are get u to have to defend yourself the goal for them is control,and change the beautiful that u are! I hear the soul sucking sound from sun up to sundown 365! What has happened as I silently cry for such a pitiful human being!!
@kareninman2865 Time to make some hard decisions. You ready to leave them, or are you going to keep going on like that? I hope you embrace your needs and leave. They never , ever change.
@@heidireyes1909that’s how I felt with a friend. Every time she called me my blood pressure was going up and I needed an hour or two to calm my self down. She always looked for trouble, always tried to Debatte and argue with me. Literally putting words in my mouth, I could not take it anymore and had to cut her off.
The people you surround yourself with can make or break your life. We must protect our energy. We must decide whether someone is good or bad for us and cut those negative off.
Recently after subtle abuse from time to time of letting it go. I finally decided not to entertain the idea of when he wants to fake apologize I have to take him back . After name calling me few days later wanting to apologize and talk to me I said no for my own sake and I’m so happy I choose to just remove and isolate myself period.
Do not fall for their fake apology. They will tell you it's going to change and be different this time, it won't. Narcissists grow very old and still stay the same, their manipulative and abusive behaviours never change. The same narc could be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old... they will still be exactly the same at 80 years old as when they were 20. They stay the same because they never look at themselves, they're always blaming everyone else for how they feel, they always have a victim to abuse. If they could just look within, instead of projecting the blame on to someone else, it would fix all of their mental agony, all of their problems. But as we know, this is something they are not willing to do. It's a quick fix for them to project the blame and allows them to avoid accepting responsibility. Narcs do not like responsibility as they have the emotional maturity of a toddler. And you can see this in their abusive manipulative behaviour. A narc lives to abuse, this is their purpose in life. Their life is seen as an opportunity to inflict emotional pain upon you. The greatest accomplishment for a narc is to push their victim to suicide, outlive their children or have everyone to see things their way.
I wish that I did put my foot down then I would have saved myself 12 yers ago instead of 12 yrs later from my now ex narc. Now I must rebuild myself. And yes people will only treat you by what you tolerate. I thought this guy was just over exaggerating and took things a bit too serious. No contact limited to our children and looking for my way out after he discards me and refuses for me to leave with the kids. I am so grateful now that we were never married.... smh
I’ve just started setting boundaries and it continues so I have gone very low contact .I don’t go to their house because I’m their punching bag I always get yelled at and talked down to . Respect is really important to me .
I have experienced this behavior constantly from someone I was dating and no matter what good things I did for them it would always backfire on me and leave me hurt😢and exhausted! Now that I have walked away I’m dealing with all the side effects of the experience! You must leave and walk away instead of being a doormat! Love these videos because they validate my experience and affirm my decision to distance myself for my own mental health and wholeness! I still love and care for this person and was vulnerable in so many ways but enough is enough!
It's a relief to accept that I don't have to fight with evil doers but recognize who they really are and work on myself instead. This lesson is really what I need to learn today. Thank you for your counseling.
Many thanks 1. Accept them for who they are 2. Set boundaries 3. Don't share anything personal with them as they will use it against you 4. Don't let them manipulate you or get under your skin, accept self love. 5. If possible stay away from them for your sanity especially emotionally.
@@maryadams9343 seems like you put yourself first You should never keep family especially your ex or husband's family away from the kids you share together
@@paulh7631 I'm the Mother and I know, I don't call it greedy I call it protecting my own child. You don't know of how being a mother. And I'm still married to my husband Ok. His nephew is a bad influence OK ? For yo information So Go on !
My energy and vibration is way more important than being a part of someone else's negative force. I've wasted 4 years with someone trying to send them my positive vibes and all I get is a drained feeling, emptiness and constantly accused of cheating when all I ever did was love and be there for them . Never cheated once. Thank you for helping push me in the direction I've been facing for so long, but never made that move for myself. I truly thank you!! Just subbed
Ive only been accused of cheating by two women. Both were cheating on me and had serious dangerous mental disorders (Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
I have a "friend" that I set a boundary with recently. I told her respectfully that I don't want unsolicited advice about how to handle my emotions and feelings. She lashed out about how she's only tried to be a good friend to me, that she just wants to see me happy and how she has been there for me when no one else has (Not true). And we have not talked in 2 weeks now and I am ok with that. I knew her reaction bothered me and now I understand that she was being emotionally manipulative and just disrespectful. Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge.
I love that you are obviously a highly educated, qualified professional... yet you relay the information in such a caring and relatable way that it feels like I'm getting loving, sound advice from an older wiser sister. (And I think you may be younger than me!)
This is so awesome!!! I like that you said to love yourself more and distance yourself from the environment that is not good for you. Cutting someone out that you have emotionally invested in is hard, but it's what's best for your health.
Thank you for this video. My sister keeps trying to push my buttons knowing full well I won't react out of respect for our mother. But by staying silent I've allowed her to go further and further. I need to learn how stay calm but still set boundaries to protect myself. It's not easy but I can't keep living this way, I'm dealing with a major depression and this added stress is making me feel worse. So thanks for your advice.
Charlotte, You are doing the right thing as hard as it is to endure your sisters negativity, keeping the peace for your Mother is admirable. Your sister is obviously jealous of you. I have endured this with both of my sisters. It is hard, but keep on doing the right thing, one day you can unleash out of earshot of your Mother. Just keep it classy.
Abusive people are often able to put you in a state of emotional crisis. And there are two ways to solve a crisis: the short-term and the long-term ways. The short-term and easier way is to get angry, to lash out at the other person, to become depressed or resentful, etc. The long-term and more difficult way is, like you say, to stand back, to react in a calm and collected manner, and to take the appropriate measures for the other person to treat you with more respect. A lot more useful approach!
Can’t thank you enough, Stephanie for the knowledge and power you have given me this year. I’m 54 & crashed last Christmas after what I now know was a life of emotional abuse by my narcissistic mother (also a rage full father). My mum is 85 & last Christmas I blocked her out of my life but last week I met her and my golden child brother. Your advice on what is a narcissist, respond not react & boundaries with toxic people plus this video, which i see I watched 5months ago, enabled me to hold on to myself during the coffee meet up and whilst I was utterly exhausted keeping my defences up it was totally worth it and she got no reaction from me and I left with my boundaries in tact. THANKS to YOU ❤️🙏
I believe you are right! To all the others maybe sharing my journey thus far will help you, so here goes. I’m just realizing this with my marriage, thinking I can handle anything and improve the situation is probably why I’ve stayed for literally a decade too long. Setting boundaries did happen but literally his putting finger tips in ears was a common response. It’s now at the point where he just looks past me when I speak. Consequences for a misbehaving adult need to come from strength and I wasn’t ready then for the likelihood of my family busting up. I acknowledge it! We have 3 kids together so I thought keeping the family together and managing the outbursts (as I like to call them) was my role as mother. Realize, I’m not his mom and I don’t owe him anything emotionally. Also, I am preparing now as he’s not going to self reflect enough to get any professional help. Talking with a couple girl friends about all the different things that occurred made me realize how long the list really was. Taking that step was vulnerable for me and now I feel accountable to deal with the situation as a whole!! They confirmed my thinking! I have also made an appointment to get ongoing counseling. Without putting my crap on them, I connected with 2 adult children to see what they are feeling. One said: “I don’t want to discuss the big D word, but I’ve thought it may be coming since I was a young teen. Mom, you need to do what’s best for you.” That conversation was emotionally what I needed. I think prior to it I was too worried about protecting them and years of putting myself last, well was a habit. I regret the anxiety an unhealthy household was on the kids. Change is coming, I promise and I don’t make promises that I can’t keep. Very soon. Reiterating boundaries and setting deadline for next steps this week. I have inadvertently shown the kids how to emotionally survive, now it’s time to show them how to thrive. Highly recommend this channel. I recommend reading self help books and watching these great videos. Have watched a few already and will be watching more. It’s part of my renewed self care routine. And I should have sought help and counsel years ago! I hope there are a few tips for others who need it. And one other thing. Your community will rally behind you!! Let them in to support you!
Childof God ...yes...take as prescribed. Same for the other 13 thumbs up.....after all....you won't be threatened will jail time for being wrong. That's not worth trying to teach sweetie. So never mind and enjoy your life.
jusayen so 💌thank you I will enjoy my life... a cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones... proverbs 17:22💞 positive Zone from now on thank you for your comment enjoy your life
Childof God I love that ,positive Zone from now on... Toxic people are in the least expected places John 10:10 they're out to kill ,steal and destroy, continue to protect your cheerful heart
You are so right .YOU have to realize the abusive person is toxic sick and probably will never change.when you change your reaction. to thier hatred and rachtness and limit time you spend with. Them.......
Stephanie I just have to let you know how much I appreciate your videos!! I've become a better version of myself mentally because of your videos. I truly know what it means to love myself now. Not only that but so much more. I've been sending people links to your videos who need your help as well. Thank you so much!
Love this. I've been emotional hurt and drained for helping people. I'm indeed of help healing myself and have a healthy relationship. Thanks for your guidance now i see my weaknesses what i need to work on.
Just wanted to say thank you I was never taught any of this and I’m putting into practice so thank you so much I do love myself now but I didn’t know anything about gaslighting emotional manipulation emotional abuse toxic people so thanks for teaching me. Thanks to you I’m more aware of who is in my life. God bless you!
I'm glad you're doing better now! I'm in a rather unhealthy relationship with a friend right now and I'll try to use this too. Hopefully it'll help me like it did with you! :)
Exactly, telling someone who we think they are is probably not the best idea in the world honestly. I have two very toxic people in my immediate family, who have really had an adverse effect on me all my life. I tried talking to one of them,didn’t go well, so I’m glad you put this up. I think it’s gonna help me.
The worst part is that you still care about the person, but despite how much they infringe on your boundaries and wear you out, you can't get them to stop. So you have to distance yourself in the end. It sucks because I really care about her. She was my first love.
I have been dealing with a loud, rude and abusive manager 4 times a week. This video actually reinforces what I have been practicing. Being silent, dull but, still doing a great job at work. Also telling her don't talk to me that way. works if you work it.
I'd like to share some information, and this was on a live chat with Dana Morningstar and somebody wrote in with a question about their family (don't ask me what the question is now) but she said if you can almost predict what people will say like your Dad about your life choices and you know word from word what he'll say - it gives you an odd advantage because you know his every move, and when you spot the patterns in behaviours not just in one person but the people in the room like Mom uses shame and guilt, but your older brother will use fear and intimidation but when you know this it gives you more awareness of what your family is like and how to spot their disfunction and you'll be able to see who are the flying monkeys in the room, the enablers - knowing you can see right through their tricks gives you the sense of no one's going to BS me I know everyone's every move
I've spent months trying to expose some LOSERS creating psychodrama in my life that has really gotten under my skin. Thank you for sharing this video!!!
Selfish and needy people will never respect boundaries or change their behaviour. They have no empathy, no self awareness or consideration for you. You can only avoid or limit your contact with such people. Starving them of personal interactions with you is the only way to protect your own well being. They are just too draining to be around and will always bring your mood down.
From my personal experience. You may have to change your cellphone number, cut out all the abusive people out your life even if it's an abusive relationship or family, friends, sometimes even your own adult children, or associates or colleagues etc. Sometimes you need to get a restraining order or just simply pack up and move away where you don't have to be around these toxic relationships. Set boundaries and go at your own pace and learn to love yourself again regardless of what other people say or think.
Dang… I’ve apparently allowed so many unhealthy people into my life. I’ve been working severely on myself since Jan 2nd 2017 - changed the way I see the whole world and myself. As I’ve become more aware and studying behavior disorders and the like, My eyes and mind has been open to seeing my own issues and being able to build a fast profile of those around me(based on convo, expressions, body language & family status). It’s exhausting and freeing at the same time. So much so that I I’ve come to believe that it’s actually not safe anywhere or with anyone. Solitude isn’t healthy, but neither is being bombarded by other peoples poor behavior everyday. Where is the balance?… it’s a daily exercise for the rest of your life.
This experience is very raw for me. I welcome constructive comments from those who may have experienced something similar and what worked for them: After being in counseling for anxiety and depression I realized much of my condition was due to my partner being emotionally abusive. I started asserting boundaries and they have helped. However, lately he has become insecure (possibly because I am enforcing boundaries and taking no crap and I’ve never done this preciously). Now he constantly accuses me of cheating if I don’t answer/respond to his calls immediately. I do care for him, so (initially) I was happy to show/prove that I am where I say I am, etc. I’ve since stopped that because 1) even with my reassuring with proof it still doesn’t generate trust and 2) the more I try to prove it the more proof he needs. At this point when he starts saying I don’t love him as much as he loves me, gets accusatory or disrespectful I end the conversation because there is no middle ground with him. When I do that he blows up my phone telling me that I’m a terrible communicator and the only reason I don’t want to talk about it is because I must be guilty or have something to hide. I truly love this man, but it’s exhausting. I suggested he needed counseling for the insecurities so we’ve since broken up - not an easy choice. But he keeps calling saying he can’t do it without me.. I’m so torn.
The more I listen to you the more I am grateful for your existence. to have it all put so clearly like you do. well, it unjumbles my thinking gives me strenght .
I have a narcisstic family, all of them, Mom and Dad, 2 adult children, 1 sisternlaw. I have found all I can do is protect myself. I change the subject, say I am not talking about that, I got to go, we can talk later. My NMom use to always talk about my exhusb wife, trigger for me, she loved her (can you believe that) and so I finally quit trying to get her to be supportive of me. I just said I am not talking about her, got to go, we will talk later. My NMom died about a month later. I didnt learn to deal with her until the last month of her life. Anyway I am glad I did quit trying to change her and just started protecting myself. Like you said have consequences, mine was getting off the phone or away from them when they start being mean or criticizing me.
Hello there. My name is Wes and I truly appreciate your channel, I have learned a lot just listening to you explain it all. I have been with this person for over 16 years and we are raising a Son together. It's hard because we live together still but we're not together like we were at one time. Now I feel like she has distance herself from me. Here it is she hides things she lies a lot she chooses to even still from me. When I tell her she doesn't have to, what she stills is small, but my problem is she doesn't have to. I was saving it for her anyway. And told her that. Now I am trying so hard to find away to leave imotionaly but it's hard. So thanks for sharing your channel. I will continue to listen to you.
And she makes me feel like I not even exist here. Now our son is the same way. He doesn't talk to me anymore because his mom is not talking to me anymore. What am I doing here still. I can't just walk out on My Son, I believe being with out his mom is okay for me. But him it's hard because his my son.
My husband tells me that he “enjoys looking at other women’s asses” ... which I already know because he checked out a woman the first night I moved in with him. I have asked him to stop telling me that and he says he’s being honest, not disrespectful. I am so confused. He knows I am insecure because he exalts a woman he used to be with ... her creativity and intellectual superiority. He never asks to see my poetry and art and if I get the nerve to show him something, he’s very indifferent to it. He called me a dunce, tells me to get fu@ked and if I get upset he says I’m too insecure and sensitive. I’m really struggling. He thinks he’s very superior, as well as his two children, while he puts my two children down all the time. My gut tells me he’s sneaky, and it hurts because when he was trying to “get me” he was the kindest sweetest man! I can’t believe it’s the same person! What do you think? Please, anyone!
Debra James. There are kids involved. It is time to leave. Otherwise you set them up for failed relationships in the future. Think about how this affects them. Get out now before anymore damage can be done. Learn to love yourself and model that behavior to them.
ThECheShire CaT I forgot to mention that our kids are grown. Still, his children can’t be told certain things that might upset them (his are 47 and 40!) and mine are 40 and 32 can be called names by him or put down by him... it’s so hard to deal with! I appreciate your comment and support! 💕
Sundai Sunshine thank you so much! I really am having so much confusion about this because he says I am too sensitive! I appreciate other people’s perspectives who can see more clearly than I can. Thank you so much for your thoughts and support. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. ❤️
Thank you. I’m just learning all these “buzzwords” that give labels to things I’ve known. It helps to name them so I can identify the different types of abuse.
The fact of the matter is that the only course of action is just like Stephanie said, and that's to just protect yourself. The narcs only see their side of the story, even when facts are laid out proving that they at least MIGHT be slightly wrong. You don't have to be "right" all of the time ; most mature people can accept being wrong ; most mature people have the ability to compromise; mature people don't resolve to be nasty when they don't get their way. They won't accept that their behavior is abusive.
The person keeps trying to be friends with me even after I finally shared with him that I want to keep our relationship on a professional, distanced level. Since I let them know, as gently and explanatory as possible, then the weird behavior ramped up. I finally did yell at him to respect the boundary and it was so draining and painful. I really learned that I need to be setting these boundaries earlier in the relationship when I see the red flags, so that it doesn't get to that point. Besides yelling at them, which I do not recommend, I said do not come to my door to drop off my mail for me. That's one less closeness we have with one another. I will get my own mail. Also do not come up to my house even to drop something off after a certain time. (This is a neighbor)
We paid a high price for thinking we could have a conversation with a covert toxic daughter in law. The word covert is still the game she plays but, power is her number one method to fight for control. Every (I mean every family event) is redesigned to function to her advantage. We focus on our personal boundaries and nicely walk away from her power games. We lose out on being with our grandkids but have learned it is not our fault. This saddens our son but he is the true definition of a flying monkey. Heartbroken but living free of narcissistic control is beautiful. That being said we always have to be one step ahead of her! EXHAUSTING. 😪😪
I just subscribed and now binge watching your videos. This is the 3rd video I have watched, planning to distance myself again, I realized I gave this person a LOOOTTT of chances any human being could get. But I'VE HAD ENOUGH. Thank you soo much!!!!
I think because of this cycle we have gotten into with people like this and being hurt, confused and isolated due to this, we have to hold all of this in because we have nobody else to talk about it with and you definitely can't talk to the one that's doing this to you. But as I can see from these videos and the comments, there's so many of us going through this and being treated like this. So even though we've been isolated, we are not alone in this. For anyone who is not quite ready to just walk away from this person or who is currently unable to due to financial, emotional, or just still holding on to hope they'll change or wake up and realize what theyre doing to you, all I can say is please don't give up On yourself until you're emotionally, mentally, physically and financially ready to give up on them! Continue to work on yourself and getting YOURSELF well and emotionally and mentally healthy because if you wait on them to do that for you you'll NEVER get that from them. Yes, that's very hurtful to think that they don't love and care about you enough to be the person you need them to be for you. But practice practice practice learning and loving yourself and educating yourself on the type of person they really are and not what you want them to be. And realize you are worth so much more than to just wait for the glimpse of the person they can ACT like they are just to go back to the demon again. And they will! We stick around far too long through the hardest and awful times with them just to get another little glimpse of the good one in there. But Don't be fooled because that demon is still there too. And you'll NEVER know when it's coming out again.
This person is my sister who is extremely controlling and a narcissist. She uses her children as pawns so if I want to see them I have to relent to whatever she wants even though she hurts me over and over. I've explained my feelings to her and even though she says how much she loves and supports me it's a bunch of crap. But I am at her mercy. If I say anything about her she can't tolerate it. Recently there was a situation where she involved herself in and now she's in the middle. It doesn't even concern her and none of her business. I purposely didn't tell her but the other person told her. She banned me from the family and children for God knows how long. She refuses to talk to me and when I tried to express myself through an email she just reacted and automatically blames me not the other person. Without even hearing my side. She now wants to talk but I don't want to deal with her abusive ways. I suggested she come to therapy with me to discuss it appropriately and she won't go. I set up a boundary which is good bc she puts them up all the time and hurtful ones at that. Now I'm going to suffer the consequences by putting up a boundary that I feel is necessary due to the sensitivity of the conversation. Now I'm trying to learn boundaries and bc of it I will continue to not see my family and 2 young nephews that I adore. She shunned me and will continue to do so until I relent. And how can I ever have a normal relationship with anyone after what she did? What kind of a person keeps her kids away from their aunt? It's like a knife in the heart. I'm stuck and not sure what to do.
Please don’t think that you having boundaries is going to cause you to “suffer”, it’s not. Yes, it will be difficult to not see your nephews, but in reality what example are you setting for them when they see how bad their mother treats you & you don’t stand up for yourself? Boundaries will bring the right people to your life
@lovesylvia2621 it hurts because I just finally was able to get this toxic abusive person out of my life after 8 years. Even after I blocked him on Facebook and messenger he sent texts trying to manipulate me so I blocked him that way also. I had to block him on social media bc of the lies he was spreading about me playing the victim and saying I was the narcissist and gaslighting him as well as posting suicide videos. I came to realize this was just more manipulation on his part. He knows how to manipulate me bc I am in a very vulnerable state now and he was taking advantage of that and did for years. I thank God everyday that I was finally able to stand up for myself and get him out of my life hopefully now permanently. When I needed my family the most they abandoned me over an incident that didn't concern them or should I say my sister. I am learning to put up boundaries and not just react emotionally. Despite that she is my sister and would hope she would support me and she refuses to attend a therapy session as a neutral place to discuss this difficult situation and she will not. She just continues her distance and refuses to let me have contact with my nephews. She is punishing me without knowing my side. It is my mom's bday in a few days and their having a big celebration that I'm not invited to. Both kids have baseball tournaments that I would love to attend but I am forbidden from seeing them. I am just devastated and feel very alone. Now instead of doing things as a family I am left out while the other person that caused the drama is participating in all the family activities. I just feel abandoned all over again after trying to move forward from the severe physical and emotional abuse namely NPD from my ex for 8 years. I'm trying to get back to my life but it is very difficult because now I'm being held back from making progress. I am still trying and not giving up. I just pray that this situation can be resolved without my sisters narcissistic behaviors herself. Anyway those are my thoughts. I feel for all of you bc to go through all this with a sick twisted person is extremely traumatic and changes you as a person. God bless.
Thank you Stephanie for such practical, real, relatable, and valuable information on how to deal with these people. The specific verbal responses are so incredibly helpful to me. ❤
My relationship with my father is so bad to the point I had to blocked him , he is always making me feel guilty about not doing enough for him ( I always tried to give him as much as I could to keep him happy ), always telling everyone about how much he had given me , and pointing out how bad was the gift I gave him on Father’s Day . The truth is that now I’m tired and depressed , I also feel guilty of what people might think of me for turning my back to my own father
I am in an emotional abusive marriage, I am 64 years old, where do I go from here? I am fighting for maintenance in a court of law, but not a divorce. He is stonehearted, financially manipulating. He will ridicule and make jokes around family, and they are about me. They laugh as though it's just a joke. I have warned him about Ridiculing me in public, but he won't stop.
Seriously 👍🏼these people here, where i am, who always want what i want, it’s like their ways of emotional abuse are so toxic even other who wants to visit are just annoyed and just go elsewhere. It is holding a place and my life as well like illness along the system itself that is kinda not so normal
It's worse when you have PTSD and they know things about you. He would say things on purpose that would hit a trigger. Constant emotional roller coaster ride. I left 6/7
Thank you Stephanie, this is the second time that I watched this video. I have, ( had ) a friend that I have needed to distance myself from. The more that she notice my moving away, the more that she want to go overboard at controlling me, one tactic after another. All this did for me was confirm that I needed to leave and distance myself. I doubt she will ever get it, to self absorbed. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet like everyone else. I retired from working. She saw this as an opportunity for me to slave for her. So ugly.
Unfortunately the first step for most people is admitting they are being emotionally abused. No one wants to admit that, so they simply don't take any actions to stop it.
Consequences? My sister stopped talking to me for 12 years after we had a conflict over her taking my mother's things (sentimental value only) after our mother died. When I was upset, my sister called me toxic. When I tried to talk to her, she refused to talk. When I called, she would not return my call. Even when I called to say - can we resolve this? She insisted I was toxic and she could not talk to me. So instead of just apologizing for having done this to me -- she just walled me out and completely cut me out of her life. So, consequ ences? She would not care if I lived or died so I don't think I have much leverage here.
For all the young ladies dealing with abuse from the man in your life... Please, please take my advice. I've been married coming up on 16 years now. My husband has abused me in every way there is. Emotionally, psychologically, financially, spiritually.He has cheated on me while i was pregnant on dating websites while at the same time playing the part of being a faithful husband. He has manipulated me to gain my trust and lies to me in order to get the things he wants from me. I have holes in my walls from him punching them in anger. The only thing this man has not done is physically punched/hit me or my children. As i write this, he has managed to ruin another what was supposed to be family day with my children,ages 8, 12,15. I am nothing like what i was before i met him. I am insecure, fearful, at times have been suicidal and suffer from extreme social anxiety, and I am terrified of other ppl because this man has made me feel like the world is a hostile place and other ppl will hurt me too. I have triggers and fears that often cause me to break down in crying or bouts of anger, days of depression that were never there before i met him. At the same time, my family is also abusive and has disowned me because I left their church. I am in many ways completely isolated. One of the things i look forward to is starting school next month to get my degree in cosmetology. I am afraid that at any moment he will try to take that away from me.I have no money and never have had the means or support to leave him. I will not leave without my children.They are often the only reason i choose to get up each day and try to be the best I can be. Because of the constant rollercoaster of trauma he has put me through, most of my memories of my children growing up are stained by dark and painful memories.I pray I will have to ability to become financially secure and be able to make the choice to leave this relationship. I say all this to warn other women. DO NOT IGNORE THE RED FLAGS NOW. It will cost you everything and you will spend your life regretting commiting to him. And any children you have will suffer and be affected right along with you. You will not be at your best for them with a partner like this, no matter how hard you try to be. The kicker is, im so ashamed of what I have allowed to happen to me that no one knows how terrible this has been for me over the years. I feel so stupid. On the outside, everything looks normal to those who know us. It is a lonely and often very confusing life. I often can't trust my own mind and convince myself i am the problem just so that i can cope and try to make sense of it all. At times i am almost convinced that i deserve this because i am somehow flawed and ugly. Life is too short to waste time on someone who isn't good for you. Educate yourself, and know what to look for that is toxic and what is healthy. I would have never believed in a million years when i married him how much damage he was capable of inflicting on me. And for whatever reason,he claims after all these years that he wants to change. I'm just supposed to take him at his word. He expects me to just be loving and grateful and patient as he figures it all out after ignoring me and devaluing me as a person for years. I spent so much time hoping he would change just to realize now i probably will never trust him again anyway. Any little thing that goes wrong triggers me and reminds me of the past anyway. Its a losing battle for me. Ladies. Put your well being first and please wait for the right person and do not rush into anything. You cannot help or change other ppl and i found that out too late.
Recognizing these people so you never Ben get close is my advise. They are takers, never wrong, never apologize, never see your point of view!! Just know the signs and it helps me. Don’t go near them ever, don’t let them in
Hei amelia believe me its like talking to a wall they dont get it they do t want to get it. They will never change. Just end that relationship go out smile at the sun and be happy. Wish yu the best.
Plz start watching Dr Ramani and one more Lisa on Narsesists . They both have said plan a exit keep it to your soul till ready . Pack your bags go silently to friends place for few says then move out . Dont take calls go no Contacr . Dont do any thing just chill . Let law do its work tell the truth with Recorded proof . Dont allow them to play a victim . Just expose them with proof tht cops cant deny nor he or his supportive monkeys . Be calm No matter wht This kid of 5 does . Panic them . Firewall them Set Bounderies . So strong tht their souls shiver . Watch clip on What scares Narcesists . Get yourself armed with truth with proof . These kids will Run away . They cant take the public shame any more . Become financially indipendent . They can block cards to ctrl u Just Discard them when u r ready .
Exactly! As long as there’s someone willing to put up with their behavior, there will never be any incentive for them to change. Walk away, they won’t change.
I told a rejected suitor just how Evil his spreading COVID to me. Superspreader saliva on a cup he invited me to sample! ZERO further contact act or comment will happen. I just wanted him to know
