I'm currently stuck on #3. If I heal then the person who hurt me will get away with it scot-free. Statements like the world will take care of that does not reassure me. I am not a superstitious person so all those statements to that bullet point don't make sense to me.
I hope someone sees this one day and I want you to know your loved. I'm almost done fighting to stay but I'm going to keep fighting tooth and nail becuase I want to see my kids grow up and I want to see myself look back at this one day and realise that this world did need me. So if your reading this. You are loved, I love you and I appreciate you.
I feel like I’m stuck on #4 I kinda lost faith in how hard I’ve been trying to heal kinda don’t know how to. I’m wanting to feel better I’m wanting to heal.. but it’s difficult handing past emotions. Which lead to anxiety/depression. This healing journey is tough but I’m determined. Gave me hope that it’s possible.
Feeling better is better and if you feel worse its not better - I actually gasped because it was like a A-ha moment! I was doing this!! Thank you so much
I got bullied in the last year of high school and everyday was a nightmare for me, that person who bullied me has a lot of good friends and she's very happy.. I can't get rid of my pain. I feel like I have to take revenge everyday but I know I can't..
Thank you so much for the video! How can I create safe boundaries for myself while still trying to forgive others? Especially when those need to be established within family relationships?
Hey Shayla, I just put out a online masterclass on forgiveness. jodiaman.com/forgive Forgiveness doesn't mean that you re vulnerable. You can forgive (releasing yourself from that person's energy) and never trust, or be available for them to hurt you. Forgiveness is not for them, it doesn't not condone, it doesn't mean you trust. Hard to answer in text, I'm better in person. Maybe I'll try to hop on LIVE soon about this.
Something that prevents healing ( a MAJOR DEFECIT) is that most people don't even know what emotions and feelings actually are... because few parents or educators ever bother (or even know themselves). Emotions and feelings are simply a kind of alarm/warning system... that triggers based on SUBJECTIVE perspective in acccordance to real (objective) as well as subjective external &/or interal stimulus. One migh feel fear when they hear a lion or wild animal... but that doesn't necessarily mean one is close or ready to pounce or attack. One may feel love.. only to later realize it was only a projection of something you felt you were missing... something the person you've crushed on never actually possessed, or simply recognition concerning a certain time of day or natural condition (weather, foliage, etc.) The trick is to understand WHAT you felt... what its ACTUAL trigger was... and how your own perspective may have warped it. This is where RATIONAL REFLECTION comes to bear. Your feelings may stem from a similar past incident, a certain movement, a smell, the look on someone's face or their body language, repetead patterns, immediate situational triggers, etc. But the ACTUAL thing they're warning you about is something needs to be either DONE or decided. And the first step is actually NAMING the actual cause. So further introspection can lead you toward considering your best TACTICAL options. Feeling that trigger immediate flight/flight mechanisms are either OFFENSIVE or DEFENSIVE signals... but absent a fuller understanding of the immediate situation... many emotional (hyperbolic) responses actually prove detrimental (aka self-defeating). Attacking the wrong person, jumping in the wrong direction to avoid a speeding car, etc. This is where meditative rationalization (discriminating the OBJECTIVE facts away from any subjective influences becomes tantamount). As BOTH situations can lead to serious repercussions... especially when clouded by jaded perceptions. Other feelings are less imminently profound... like developing a crush, shying away from certain persons, etc. and being less OBJECTIVE in their overall outcome as well as less restricted by one's reaction time... one can invest themselves towsard them at a slower, more comfortable pace. So your decisions relfect the truest aspects of WHO you are as well as where they're coming from. Like an old Oriental lesson/fable about compassion reveals. A mother is winding her way along a ridge with a satchel of twigs to build a fire for her kids (or gathering various edibles). As she moves along she begins to hear a mewling sound, and tentatively inches herself closer... to peer over the edge. On a ledge some distance below she sees a lioness that had fallen to her death... and her cubs (that had crawled out to her along a much narrower sectin of the ledge, further down the ridge) were pawing at her & attempting to suckle for milk, though obviously starving for none was left. In a moment of compassion, the woman flings herself over the edge only to die on the ledge below... so the tiger's babies would have something to eat. What's the lesson/moral? Feeling compassion is one thing... but how we choose to ACT upon it should always involve RATIONAL CONSIDERATION. And the same applies to nearly all other feeling or emotions we experience (within reason). For without true understanding, our feelings will often cause us (as well as others) more potential harm than good. Another thing to consider is your own NAIEVETE. Something all forms of PTSD stems from is when an (often immediate or repeated) OBJECTIVE reality smashesthe subjective (protected, immature, or jaded) reality we're already carrying. The notion that all people are inherently good because you've never experienced the darker sides of human nature. Then a violent incident or repeated form of abuse suddenly or progressively... smashes most of your conjectured notions. Leaving you doubting your own perceptions and basic truths, as well as your ability to trust others, &/or your immediate surroundings. The sickening gut wrenching feeling of being betrayed or cheated on is a classic form/sign of PTSD... a gift that keeos on giving... because it screws up your bearings... your own template toward moral action and decisions. Its like suddenly being locked in darkenss... when you once could see everything before as well as around you. So you need to figure out what SPECIFICALLY triggered your PTSD... was it the lies, the sight of catching them in the act, the look on their face as they denied or trickle truthed you, the immediate setting where it all went down, the physical inuries you or another person suffered, or all of the above? Or was it just the overwhelming reality that your relationship was truly over, that all your effort and personal investment were suddenly for naught, or that your very concept of what people are capable of was ENTIRELY wrong? How does that reflect upon you? Under what circumstances would you be capable of such a thing? This is the real dilemma... because you're just as human as anyone else... and in that brief or repeated mirror... you recognize a part of yourself... something you're truly capable of, but had never wanted to do, or even considered. But within YOUR questions & realizations the path forward becomes clearer.... you simpoly need to triangulate which pieces of yourself are worth keeping and protecting... which parts should remain exposed (but under heavy guard)... which portions are so toxic you need to address them incrementally, etc. And by all means... separate the subjective opinions from the objective facts as you progress... and be brave enough to face your vulnerabilities... otherwise your healing will stagnate. Allow yourself permission to fail sometimes, to not be so proud to tackle everything alone... and NEVER be afraid to learn from the past experiences of others. There is no such thing as bad information... only bad filters &/or subsequently poor choices. So choose your filters, and outline your procedures... wisely. And incremental exposure is the key to dispelling even the toughest delusions. So be brave enough to allow yourself to progress... at your own pace, moving forward with an occasional pause to catch your breath (or relax as best you may) before returning to the fight. These are batteles against yourself... not the external causes or triggers... and you already know or knew yourself... which makes you your own toughest enemy... but also your own best friend. Allow every victory (no matter how small) to be appreciated... and never linger or wallow over any setbacks. eventually you'll find your own groove and rhythn, eventuaslly building momentum as you learn to flex new ethical and cognitive muscles you never knew you had. And eventusally the person you ALLOW yourself to be will simply be different... not worse or better than the person you were before. But you'll have developed an new level of personal confidence... simply by not giving up... or being afraid to admit that you won't always have the answers. And that's ok... so long as you continue looking for them. Eventualy all that's left of your trauma is mostly negligible, and your own repair mechanisms can automate the rest... with time and maintaining a decent level of OBJECTIVE positivity. That makes the difference between CONTROL of your emotions or remaining in denial as well as blind to them... the ability to bith WEIGH as well as GROUND them. As always... exercise, eat right, and sleep as well as you can. Channel your excess energy into positive pursuits and new experiences/hobbies (healthy ones to replace the old &/or bad)... and never forget that we all have the necessary mechanisms (body, mind and soul) to heal from just about anything... and embracing an "new normal" doesn't mean it has to be bad... or even better... than what you had before. Life is all about change... so OWN IT. As the adverse to healing and growth, is merely a perpetuation of one's own infancy (aka immaturity). And the goal is to become as adept as YOUR potential allows, not to enable your own ineptitudes. Hope all that helps someone, it's worked for me (more times than I care to admit, LOL). HuGGz
@@doctorjodi My pleasure... never ceases to amaze me how few people EVER get clued in to the things I've posted. And if everyone was taught these facys about Sentient existence, the world would be far better off. Because relationships across any spectrum, as well as accidental or manmade traumas, arer a LOT easier to prevent, manage, and recover from when one's been grounded with an actual roadmap as to how their own perceptions and healing mechanisms actually work. And Thank You for you videos... as well as your reply. Hope your holidays are truly joyful and your life, as well as those of others you choose to share it with, remain ever prosperous. HuGGz
What if you had a surgery, and after, that’s when the anxiety kicked in. Surgeon says it doesn’t have to do with the brain surgery itself. What do you recommend?
