Literally was about to say this, it’s really gross to make someone think they’re obligated to do so. Sometimes the taste isn’t want you want, or sometimes you just don’t wanna have liquid in your mouth. Im glad this is the top comment.
I agree... But I think "fleeting pleasure" are the right words. It's probably because, as she said, she feels very insecure about how she smells, and thus she lets that fear talk for her rather than talking it out with her partner,, actually, its probably just the boundary she has to make for herself and that's fine, as long as she explains it beforehand and all, with less heated emotions. It's just that she shouldn't give that advice the people of the internet, which I think is why she leaves a disclaimer that she is not an expert so take all she says with a pinch of salt. That said, I might have gullibly listened if not for these comments, I rly shld learn to take things with more salt more often...
@@KearaGraves I just become engaged to my girlfriend I really happy about getting married but i am also scared it my first marriage it okay i am scared of getting married ???. it my panter was married before .
17:45 no, you don't have to swallow it if it makes you uncomfortable or you don't like it. your partner should understand that it is nothing personal and you should never do anything sexual that disgusts you
About the pee question: I read recently, that peeing in the minutes after sex is actually recommended because it washes possible bacteria out of the urethra which could cause bladder infections
There's a good Ologies podcast that goes over this. There's not a lot of evidence that it prevents UTIs but the conclusion was that you might as well do it just in case.
In my personal opinion, no one should feel obligated to swallow if they don't want to, but also no one should make the other person feels like they're disgusting. I don't think if you don't swallow means that you think that the other person is digusting. If you don't want or don't like the taste, don't force yourself to do it. But don't make the other person feel bad about themselves either.
My last partner and I dated for a year on and off and I never even saw her boobs🤷♀️ they were very small which made her feel extremely self conscious, (although I never minded at all!) And she would buy bras that were 3 sizes too big to hide her breast size. I always felt sad that she hated a part of herself so much, but it never bothered me on a personal level 🙂 so I hope that if anyone is self conscious or dysphoric about their body and feeling pressured to conform to expectations in the bedroom that society puts on us, I hope you know that on the other side of it, most people do not mind your boundaries, and if they do, you should probably not be with them!
@@KearaGraves I think that the whole lesbian thing is just females who aren't comfortable with males. They are more comfortable with the female body just as the female comment in your video stated.
For the question if two virgins can transmit STIs: remember that not all STIs are transmitted through sexual contact. Many are transmitted by blood. So unhygienic tattoo needles or IV drug use can transmit STIs. Or accidentally having a used needle poke you that's been left lying around somewhere in public. Or just touching the blood of someone infected (it can get into cuts). There are many ways transmission could happen, that's why it's really important to be careful with other people's blood and to go to professional tattoo parlors!
7:15 I am demisexual and I would just like to say that not feeling the urge to masturbate is completely normal. I never did until my partner and I started getting more intimate. Not to say that everyone is the same but if you feel that way as well maybe you're also demi. Just a thought ❤
I just realized I'm demi! i'm kind of the opposite, which is part of the reason it took me a while to realize. I feel totally fine when im on my own because I know myself, but as soon as another person came into the picture, everything felt super different
It's important to remember that even in "professional porn sets", it still may not be consensual. I was manipulated by a past partner to partake in sex work, and I know this is not an uncommon experience.
@@brynneward6387 being open is chill and all but the amount of sheer awkwardness in receiving that… like I seriously don’t think I’d want to continue living. The dynamic would be soooo uncomfortable. Imo
From an autistic perspective, I can barely go down on someone without gagging because of sensory issues, so I absolutely have to spit it out, otherwise I could literally vomit on them, so I think spitting it out is preferable, at least in that scenario. No need to judge what you don't know.
i’m that way but with anything sticky or getting stuff on my hands that can’t come right off (kinda like a cat.. ig) so it’s j random shit sexually that makes me ick out
I think washing the mouth after going oral depends upon the person and it should be normalized as much as we're trying to normalize sex talks. Not everyone is willing to swallow after oral sex and it can change aswell. So yeah do whatever that makes you feel comfortable!!
Theres not much to swallow. If you love your partner you aren't going to immediately wash your mouth out and make them feel ashamed and disgusted with themselves. Its just Pussy, get over it.
don’t wanna label you but you might be demisexual! I am the same. Outside of relationships I am totally asexual. however after developing trust towards someone, it changes
@@paya5616 I considered that for a while, my sister is demisexual, but I think I was honestly just scared of anything sexual because of my religous guilt, I still could well be, as I identified as Aroace for a while, and honestly I'm still connected to the label. Still trying to work things out, but I do think you are onto something about me. I'm just afraid of change hahaha, even if its just a change in labels.
Hey, in case y'all weren't aware, Yoni actually is a Sanskrit word meaning vagina. In fact, in Hindu scriptures, 'yoni' isn't seen as something taboo, or, something that needs to be hidden from the society. We in fact, worship the gonads of goddess Parvati at Kamakshya temple. Ancient Hinduism believes the yoni to be a source and symbol of raw power and fertility and an empowering symbol for women. Hence, the 'yoni' connects bodily pleasure to spirituality. Thanks for coming to my T.E.D. talk. 😊☺
as a younger queer i really appreciate these videos i learn so much more about the female anatomy then i do in school (i'm am aloud and i'm able to learn freely in my house hold about s3x)
I love that you talk so openly about this topic. This is so important! It's a part of everyones lives in some form and there is no reason to feel ashamed when being unsure about something. Love your videos please keep going like this❤️
for partners who have dysphoria sometimes, but not always: I ask each time... "i'd like to go into your pants. What am I touching in there?" and go with their answer. or even better, discuss things beforehand if you can. Before touching any chest regions, I'd want to have a discussion, no matter if my partner is cis, MTF, FTM or other . I love fluffy chests and always want to touch them, but I also get that that's not "hot", or is absolutely a NO-GO thing for some folx. Negotiating beforehand is cool because it signals to your partner that you're interested in what they do/don't want you to do/say/touch and because you get to tell them how you do/don't like to be loved in the same ways.
IF YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS IN THEIR PANTS, HOW CAN U BE READY TO SLEEP WITH THEM? AND PEOPLE WHO ARE DYSPHORIC SHOULD WORK ON THEIR SELF ESTEEM AND BODY ISSUES AS A PRIORITY. AND IF THEYRE DYSPHORIC, THEY SHOULD STOP GETTING TOGETHER WITH PEOPLE THEY DONT EVEN KNOW. THATS A GOOD WAY TO SHAME ONESELF.
@sewer~rat REAL DYSPHORIC PEOPLE DONT ENJOY IT MUCH AND TEND TO FEEL SHAME AFTERWARDS, GET PRESSURED BC THEY ARE TARGETED BY PREDATORS. OF COURSE THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BUT IT TENDS TO CAUSE MORE SHAME AND CONTINUED SENSE OF SELF HATE AND DISGUST. AND THIS DOUBLES WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG AND SLEEPING WITH IMMATURE PEOPLE WHO DONT HAVE RESPECT FOR THEM. BUT USUALLY PEOPLE WITH SUCH HANG UPS AND DISORDERS AVOID SEX OR DO IT FOR THE WRONG REASONS. BETTER TO GET TREATMENT, THERAPY, WORK ON THE SHAMEM, FORGIVING ONESELF, DEVELOP SELF LOVE THROUGH HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND NOT USING SEX FOR THE WRONG REASONS. THE BEST SEX IS SEX DONE WITH A PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT WHO CARES FOR YOU, MUTUAL TRUST AND RESPECT, MATURITY, A SENSE OF WORTH, POSITIVE IDEAS ABOUT SEX AND ACCEPTING ONES BODY. EVEN SOMEONE WHO IS BISEXUAL WOULD PROBABLY WANT TO KNOW IF THEY ARE ABOUT TO SCREW A GIRL OR A GUY BEFORE THEY ARE GETTING NAKED. THAT SEEMS LIKE THE BARE MINIMUM. AND IF YOU DONT KNOW IF YOU ARE WITH A MAN OR WOMAN HOW GOOD CAN THIS SEX BE? IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE IS PLAYING BIG TIME GAMES AND THE OTHER PERSON HAS NO BOUNDARIES.
@@rj-hg1kq WELL, I SAID NOTHING LIKE THAT? YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT HAVE ATTENTION SPAN ENOUGH TO READ WHAT I ACTUALLY SAID. IF U DID U WOULD KNOW THE LAST THING I WOULD SAY WOULD BE TO GET SURGERY. READ NIT AGAIN IF U CARE. IT WILL BE THE SMARTEST WORDS YOU HEAR TODAY.
I think the part about swalling fluids can have a variety of answers. If it genuinely bothers you, tell them that. If you don't want to swallow it i think switching the stimulation can help. Going from oral to fingering can help transition and not make it so awkward. If she is done and doesn't want to continue after, offer to clean her up instead. While in the bathroom you can get a towel to wipe your face or rinse your mouth. Sometimes just having a conversation makes all the difference. Telling your partner you don't feel comfortable swallowing bodily fluids is completely fine! I think she'd rather have a slightly awkward conversation than have you get physically sick on her.
I understand why your saying to swallow but I think if it makes the person uncomfortable to swallow there shouldn’t be pressure to also there can be a lot of liquid if your mtf idk just adding some thoughts 🤷♀️
Plus it's false even for AFAB, there are some who can ejaculate a liquid different from the usual cum. It's quite voluminous (way more than AMAB), very liquidy, ressemble water, and have a differet smell and taste than the usual cum. It's because it comes from a different orgasm (yeah there more than one), that is atteinted by a certain stimuation in a certain angle of the "roots" of the clitoris that you can stimulate from the inside of the vagina.
Really enjoyed this video except for the last question/answer. It's so much more subjetive that you made it seem. It never bothered me that my (ex) gf would want to wash her mouth right after oral, it's not like they hadn't put in the effort already and it's not like they sprinted off the bed like I was the devil. And honestly same. Idk why this bugged me so much, but there we are, thank you sm for this video series
just the first topic made me recall that one conversation I had with my mom a few years ago when I was still a kid and didn't understand much stuff about sex and so on. yk we were watching TV late at night and as always, there were some commercials offering sex realted stuff and lube was one of them. I mentioned how I didn't understand why do people make such a huge thing of that and my mom said: "well, you know, it's important to enjoy sex, it's supposed to be fun too" and now when I remember that moment, I can't help but smile at how confused I was after she'd said that. now I completely understand what she meant. my mom is an angel, I can always trust her with anything, even stuff like that. I seriously love her so much
Really big thank you for this video. I always feel not "normal" and it is so hard to get always heterosexual content everywhere. So thank you veery much for this education 💜
I think it's okay to spit out the cm or go wash one's mouth coz I think everyone has their boundaries, they aren't being disrespectful. It's more like they don't like it, just like someone doesn't like being touched somewhere specific so I think that shouldn't be considered bad in the first place. Infact both should be normal. like if they want to swallow they should if not then not. Both are valid to whoever it is.
This was fantastic. 2 points of rebuttal. Lol. 1) some people are so wrongly accused of being unfair to their partners for masturbating while in a relationship and that needs to stop. My guess is that those people are also most likely not your audience. 2) please don't feel badly about someone washing their face after oral. Some women don't like to be kissed after they have received oral and insist you wash up or they won't continue intimacy until you freshen up. It upsets me to break the mood like that but I don't want her uncomfy either.
LET’S ALWAYS REMEMBER TO CELEBRATE THAT THE RAINBOW🌈 IS A SYMBOL OF GODS PROMISE! EVERY DAY, OF EVERY WEEK, OF EVERY MONTH, OF EVERY YEAR, TO ETERNITY!!🙏🏾 GENESIS 9:13-17 - - I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the clouds I will see it and remember, the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth. God said to Noah, “ this is the sign of the covenant that I have established between me and all flesh that is on the earth. ***HOMOSEXUALS IN THE LIVING BIBLE - homosexuality is clinical and sodomite is biblical. QUOTED FROM THE LIVING BIBLE FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONFUSED ABOUT GODS LAWS REGARDING HOMOSEXUALITY, GAYS, TRANSGENDERS, PLUS👇🏽 JESUS SAID IN MATTHEW 19:4 “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female…….” GENESIS 1:28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “ be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it,………” GENESIS 2:24 A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his WIFE; and they shall become one flesh. Matthew 19:5 Jesus said: a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his WIFE, and the two shall become one flesh. MARK 10:8 And the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two but one flesh. EPHESIANS 5:31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his WIFE,and the two shall become one flesh. DEUTERONOMY 22:5 A woman must not wear mans clothing or a man wear women’s clothing, for The Lord your God detests anyone who does this LEVITICUS 18:22 If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them has done what is detestable; they must be put to death; Their blood will be on their own hands. THEN it goes right into not having sex with an animal ( bestiality ) in verse 23. God lists these together… yikes! LEVITICUS 20:13 If a man sleeps with a man as with a woman, they have both committed a detestable act. They must be put to death; their death is their own fault. 1 CORINTHIANS 6:9-10 Or do you not know that wrong-doers will not inherit the kingdom of God. Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, NOR MEN WHO HAVE SEX WITH MEN, ( this includes women with women),nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 TIMOTHY1:10 The sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine. (This 👆🏽Explains that Gods law is meant for the unholy….the sexually immoral and homosexuals …. Etc.) It is crystal clear that God disapproves of gay sex. BUT, many will go to the ends of the earth to protect their sinful life styles and make up a God that fits their sin. ROMANS 1:26-27 IS QUITE CLEAR ABOUT THE PROHIBITION OF SAME SEX ACTIVITY FOR MEN AND WOMAN. “ God handed them over to disgraceful passions. (Debased mind)Their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. The men in the same way also left natural relations with women and were inflamed in their lust for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the appropriate penalty of their error. God delivered them over to a reprobate mind they are filled with all unrighteousness, evil, greed and wickedness…. Etc… *EVEN IF YOU AGREE WITH THIS LIFESTYLE YOU ARE GUILTY IN GODS EYES, AS WELL…Romans 1:32 it says: they not only do them, these evil things, they approve them.  BIBLICAL HOMOSEXUALITY: AT THE BEGINNING OF THE BIBLE IT IS CLASSIFIED AS A SIN AND AT THE END OF THE BIBLE IT IS STILL CLASSIFIED AS A SIN. Sodom and Gomorrah - Genesis 19 - Were two legendary biblical cities destroyed by God for their wickedness and sexual perversion that God burnt to a crisp for an example and warning to live by. JESUS said most of humanity is going to hell in MATTHEW 7:13-14 why?👇🏽 He said you MUST be born again-John 3:3, Repent Luke 13:3, AND again in Luke 13:5, John 14:23 JESUS SAID “ Those who love me will obey My teachings.” ( but most will choose their sinful lifestyles instead of truth) SO, THERE IS NO CASTING STONES! JUST THE WORDS OF THE TRUE GOD, JESUS CHRIST IN THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENT. *The Bible interferes with sexual freedom and that’s why it’s denied by the sinner because he loves his/her sin more. God has prepared a place for the unforgiven sinner.🔥 He doesn’t want you to go there, He loves you so much, He wants you to change. Please, read your Bible. God bless🙏🏾
Keara, a wonderful q&a video! Excellent information regardless of serial orientation, delivered in a friendly, straightforward way. While I am not your regular audience, I just have to say that you are stunningly beautiful and radiate a joyful persona.
I'm going to guess that most people who wash their face right after intimacy are doing it because they are concerned that their partner might not like it. For those of us who have no problem being down there, I also would have no motivation to wash my face. But I've had lots of people not want to kiss or get too close after I've been down there. So I wouldn't be too quick to judge. Some people might do it as a courtesy.
Ooooo I’m more excited for this video than I should be😂❤️🏳️🌈🌈👀😜 On a serious note I’m interested in the educational part of this video.Also taking steps to please your partner is great so I’m glad we are making this less taboo.This is a great subject.Assuming that we are talking about partners with vaginas in this video,I think this is a good discussion to have if you have a vagina and want to please yourself or your partner.Not that people with penis’s should be left out though.
I can’t tell if it’s bad or good that I use these videos as the sex Ed I never got in school. Like it’s good that you’re educating me and probably many others about sex, but at the same time it’s a shame that you are the one to do it instead of the education system themselves. Although I don’t think they’d be able to do it as well as you do in these videos, thank you.
On the other hand, maybe everyday teachers shouldn't be asked to have such intimate conversations with their students - perhaps a middle ground of making sure kids have the basics and then are exposed to the right content is the way.
I have sexual trauma, I am terrified of being in a sexual position without knowing what’s going on so before I do anything with anyone I need to learn…so thank you for this information as a grow and learn more this will be a good starting point!
To: Queera, Thanks for all of this , but I’m gonna use it for way later like when I do have a girlfriend or girlfriends. But anyway I honestly have a crush on you. Cuz I Love you Queera 😉
Saaaaame. My mom is very sexually open, and her and I can't even listen to her talk about certain things. We have a code word for when she tells me too much (oddly, the code word is handcuffs). If she ever got me a sex you I'd probably die on the spot.
personally, im quite germaphobic and i have sensory issues with certain smells (not like .... vaginal smells, more on the order of BO) and I have a hard time asking my partner to .... wear deodorant when we do stuff??? like i want to be intimate with them but i simply cannot if they smell bad and i feel literally so bad about it?? like i dont think, logically, that is the most unreasonable request, but i always feel like im shaming them when i mention it even, so i just kind of .... deal with it. also it takes me way longer to get off than them, so i feel bad about that, like my body is just ... negatively reviewing their performance, even though they objectively do a good job and i just ... take longer??? anyways, yeah, i just wanted to get that off my chest. we're both like 'omg communication is so important' and then social anxiety (or something to that affect) keeps at least me from being really open about my preferences.
All people are different, some have a better nose than others which can of course also affect them negatively I think with that explanation it's not "rude" to tell your partner. :-) All people being different of course also goes for how long it "takes" a person to get off, maybe you could see it this way: You just enjoy the way towards the orgasm for longer? ;-) Apart from that there are so many factors that influence this: How healthy you are on that particular day, how tired, are there disctractions? (noises from outside etc.) For me it takes longer when I'm distracted by worries/nervousness or (afab here) on certain days of my menstrual cycle. I have heard that people with male bodies also have some kind of hormonal "cycle" it's not as strong but I could imagine that might factor in as well for everybody
Ask them to have nice shower time together before s e x and wash them. You can also tell them that you enjoy the smell of deodorant. I'm sure there are nice ways to get your message to them. And I think it's very kind of you that you put their feelings first but in the end I'm pretty sure that you both benefit if you can better focus your time together
I’m really struggling on how I want to look and my style. I think I want to be like a masculine lesbian but sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to be girly and shit and my titties really throw me off. But idk how masculine I want to be. How did you find your style?
Well for me, I think you don’t have to always be one style and it can be masc one day and fem another. Try to experiment with different styles and see how you feel in each?
I have at least 3 completely different styles, that change from time to time. Sometimes I have a dress and cardigan kind of day and the next day I wear ripped jeans and a black t-shirt. You do not have to pick a style and stick with it. Just wear what you like.
I have been binge watching your videos on this topic lately and they are very helpful! Thanks for posting the content that we all need but are too afraid to talk about!
Coconut oil isn't quite as nice as real lube, but it does allow you to go back to oral stuff. I'm a straight guy in a marriage but I always hate that point when oral sex is "over" (and it's time to get out the lube) because I really like oral sex and it would be fun to Continue to mix it in but nobody wants a mouthful of lube. So I always have to make a conscious decision that I'm shifting gears. Coconut oil allows me to shift back. It tastes good. It's also really nice to give my wife a massage prior to anything Sexy. Coconut oil is wonderful for body massage. Pro tip, You might want to have a large beach towel or disposable blanket because it does get all over.
This was very educational thank you!! However I just have to say about the swallowing…I personally don’t wanna swallow. It has nothing to do with my partner it has everything to do with me being uncomfortable with that thought. I think COMMUNICATION is key…so if you don’t wanna swallow but you’re still ok with pleasuring your partner like that, tell her beforehand that it has nothing to do with her actual body, it’s just a sensory thing and not everyone wants to swallow 🤷🏻 Edit was a spelling error
While I have no business commenting here, I must say your hair style is on point! Love it! I also have to say, with the utmost respect, you have this great Vanessa Chase vibe going on. ❤
Well I am lesbian , I have a question I want to ask you. I was sitting in a café and I saw a beautiful girl. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't talk or even introduce myself. If this situation was decided, what should I do?
17:00 there are ways to make the smell be hidden, like perfumes but not perfumes hahah but it's traditional in tribes. Basically you kind of air/sit above some strong oils, strays or things you burn lightly like incense but you have to make sure it's safe for your vagina.
my girlfriend is afraid of sex, when it's about to happen, she panics and cries. If she drinks at least a little alcohol, she doesn't mind. Sometimes she's in the mood for it, but it's not that often. Any ideas what it could be?:/
I wish it was like this . But most people don't like simps, emotionally Available people , and being more intimate. In my experience it's just weird . Hoping things will change.
Great video, except for first sentence of answer to last question - “it’s perfectly safe to swallow” - if you’ve both gotten an all clear from your doctors for STI’s and are monogamous! Maybe add a qualifier on that answer!!!
Oh god I LOVE the smell and taste when eating a girl out. If you're insecure that's perfectly fine though, but just know that more people love it than you may think :) you're beautiful!!
Last summer I came out as non binary, and its weird bc I dont mind my boobs when I wear a sports bra (I do have a bit larger boobs than people my age) but anytime I wear a different type of bra or see myself without a bra, it makes me disphoric. Whenever I shower I am uncomfortable, and I have never slept without a bra since I started wearing one. I dont want a binder or surgery, because I love them when I have clothes on. Just it gives me gender dysphoria when they are bare. Any advice? ❤