Hello you savages. Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Why is it So Hard to Feel Feelings? 05:19 Can You Think Your Way Into Feeling? 12:30 How the Nervous System Relates to Feelings 17:00 Modes of Reactivity in the Nervous System 21:04 How to Improve Your Interoception 34:02 Key Strategies for Self-Regulation 40:46 De-Regulating After Daily Experiences 46:31 Learning the Skill of Emotional Fluidity 51:37 Changing Your Traits Through Breathwork 58:04 The Trap of Avoiding Your Feelings 1:01:23 Over-Optimising Relaxation 1:07:07 How Your Inner Voice Impacts the Body 1:10:39 The Neuro-Aperture Hypothesis 1:18:18 Flaws of the Self-Development Industry 1:21:48 Protocols for Beginners 1:26:33 Questions That Have Broken Jonny’s Mind 1:28:17 Where to Find Jonny
Living as a man is a constant battle between boxing your emotions and ignoring them so that you can get through the day, and finding ways to safely express your emotions. Usually men express their emotions to women, but recently it has been hard for men to find women they can trust to share those feelings and emotions. I think men need to work to change the male friendship culture so that we can talk about these things in small groups of trusted friends.
I mean no disrespect but it seems like you need to find some better friends. I feel like it's always been that way because there are some things that women would never understand that a man needs to talk about
Finally a Pod that involves nervous system regulation and feeling emotions. We need to RE-connect the mind with the body again: the nervous system is the 'master key' to a secure attached life, health and proper success if you will.
1:16:00 - Chris, you spoke about how the point of life is to find a way to enjoy the whole suite of emotions in life with each moment that passes. This mentality of (almost?) gratitude is the only reframe that got me through some of my hardest moments when I was homeless. I remember the moment I had this realization, I was sitting on the sidewalk looking up at an overpass near Ben White in Austin TX. I was thinking about how easy it would be to walk up there and jump. But then I had a really weird epiphany that you summed up very well here. I actually felt grateful that I had this opportunity to have this experience of being homeless, something that most people never contend with. And not in some bullshit extreme positivity goggins type of way. But in a very peaceful way. Hard to describe. Like…. I recognized in that moment that even though this experience REALLY sucked, it was a rare experience that would paint the canvas of my life and be a part of what makes it unique. To put simply - I was grateful for the experience for its own sake rather than any “lesson” it could teach me or any story I could tell afterward about “how cool and resilient” I am now because I went through it.
I'd just like to add a note about Goggins and being ADHD that most people wouldn't understand. Those of us with ADHD have an issue with the starting and doing part of our brain which we beat ourselves up over constantly. If we stop doing something there is a very real chance that we may never start again. We are in this never ending cycle of self inflicted mental abuse about not being able to do things like everyone else which is utterly draining, maladaptive, and the reason for many of us having depression. Goggins has been there and knows that if he stops he may never start again, he's basically too afraid to stop. This is in a way better for our mental health than trying to find balance. Being female with ADHD I can be foiled easily by hormones but most of the ADHD men out there who are successful will have this all or nothing attitude. Anyway, just a side note❤️
You guys might've mischaracterised Goggins a bit here. On the surface he does come off as the mascot of "ignore feelings and grind" but if you listen closely, he's always talking about going to his mental lab. Infact, rather than ignoring feelings to do hard things, he actually said multiple times that his main reason in doing hard things is to process his feelings and the demons in his mind. How the best time to process those tough emotions is in the middle of something hard, like the moments he's tempted to give up in hell week and ultramarathons. That said, his way of processing is indeed pretty hardcore 🤣 Though he is doing the meditations too as he does mention 2 hours of stretching+meditation daily. I think we all need different forms of processing and relaxation. For example, running an hour (10km avg) every morning is how I process and relax my mind. But that would be just torture to people who hate running or don't have the developed endurance. Any repetitive physical exercise like pullups, pushups is mentally relaxing to me. On the flipside, listenning to music which is relaxing to most is too stimulating for me to relax. Additionally, Wimhof breathing which was mentioned here as part of the Activating types is something I do right before bed as it helps me shut down my systems 😅 And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only nutcase like this. We all have such different combinations of background, upbringing, culture, personal story and genetics, that it would actually be crazy if a single method of processing works for everyone. There'll be the Goggins, some Petersons, and there'll be Millers too. We'll just have to experiment and find out for ourselves, what works best for us and our specific needs.
This is well said. Although I'd add some nuance that doing the hard (and impressive) feats that he does may also be a socially-rewarded means of resisting feeling his underlying demons + feelings. For some people, it is literally easier (and feels safer) to run ultramarathons than it is to put down the armour and soften the protective strategies (I work with many type-A folks and ironically the biggest challenge for many is learning how to downshift and relax)
I have dysautonomia and I am convinced it's from pushing down stress/ptsd and powering through for so long. Eventually the stress will make itself heard.
I live in a smaller city and people in stores generally are closed off but on the walking/biking trails if you don’t acknowledge with a head nod at least you’re a weirdo for sure
The part where Chris apologises to him about going through what he did and he just nodded silently was really nice. It was as if they both just understood each other and were appreciative of each other, goddamn has Chris gotten good at talking with people and understanding them.
Love listening to your voice, Chris. Your curiosity and passion for Truth are inspiring. As a mental health clinician treating patients with mental illnesses I enjoy and appreciate your efforts to keep things real and talks interesting.
Thanks for speaking with people like Dr K, Joe Hudson and Jonny on your explanation of the feeling self. I think so many problems have come about from men not understanding there emotional and internal landscapes and this will help lots of people live richer lives. Speaking for myself, the interoceptive and emotions work has been the area I've needed to explore and has made a huge difference!
If you ever wanted to kill yourself. Remember, you are not alone. Tried a month ago but realised that there is always a person who cares about you whether you know it or not. So live for that person atleast.
Self Awareness is so powerful, but also takes practice for many people. Just knowing/learning how to reflect and label your thoughts/emotions, and then experiment towards a solution is so helpful. I'm curious if teaching it in some capacity to kids would create higher functioning adults. Maybe a class in high-school on being your own life-coach or something.😆 But perhaps I am bias being a life coach myself🤷♀️
I’m male, and I’ve noticed that paradoxically, my male friends and I feel a resistance in the exact moments we’re connecting emotionally to acknowledge our love for each other as friends. As if there’s a limit to how much love you can comfortably feel before you resist it. But embracing it (and each other genuinely) in that exact moment is transcending. It’s not easy to embrace even positive emotions like love sometimes.
Awesome gentlemen! I found especially helpful the explanation of allostatic load on the system. Energy that is used to hold that thing in place that could be used for something else. So helpful to understand I'm doing that for many years with a stressful childhood. Great insights, ideas and interview, thank you both.
This is very random, unrelated to this clip or any of your videos. Chris Carnage Williamson is now a gentleman who will leave a stamp on life. You should be proud of what you’ve achieved. I’ve came across your RU-vid, and how you’ve achieved greatness from being yourself. Jamie Middlesbrough
Chris - you’re a smart fella. How come every time you do the Whoop Ad you say ‘try it for free, get strap for free, first month free and if you don’t like it after 29 days get your money back’ how in the flying transporter bridge fuck does that make any sense mate if it’s free how can they give you your money back?? It’s always irked me hearing it and I own a whoop, maybe I am just a plonker but wish people could explain
lol wtf! does he actually say that? I've heard so many of his podcast but my ears always filter out the ad sections. That's hilarious though. Will pay more attention from now on.
@@Desperate.Daniel.24-7 yes!! Hahah glad you also reading it the way I do, it’s not even criticism i just can’t believe he’s kept the ad like that with plenty of re-takes over years, it makes no sense - even if it Whoop gave him the lines
Experience is all there is isn't it? Good, bad, indifferent. It's all about the experiences. I've figured out that gratitude is everything. Even if I don't "enjoy" a state I'm experiencing I appreciate all of it because there's knowledge in everything. Thanks for this.
If you believe and identify with the story that emotions are scary and feeling feelings is hard, that's going to set you up for a very difficult journey. It's not a fact that emotions are scary and it's not a fact that feeling feelings is hard. These are stories, interpretations of experiences and ideas. It's not about denying past experiences (e.g. having felt afraid of our feelings), but it's pretty crucial to ensure that the story we're choosing to believe is one that will actually help us, since it's not actually fact. Feelings aren't actually scary at all. They're neutral, neurochemical phenomena. It's our thoughts and beliefs that feel scary. We can choose to believe something different.
It is really difficult to express your emotions to women. When women express that they are about to die from pain or exhaustion, they are like 3/10. When men say they are in pain or are exhausted they are like 8/10. I have men in my ancestry that would just quietly die rather than dishonor themselves by expressing discomfort. In fact, my father's father pretty much died to prostate cancer because of it.
I used to be ambivalent alexithymia now I have difficulty with emotional regulation. Polyvagal Theory and Hemispheric theory helped synthesis cognition with affect. Navigating social landscapes with affect & cognition. Parasympathetic , limbic system, prefrontal, insula. Mindfulness & Meditation
I wish I could relive my life with the midset I have after going through a divorce. At this point, the level of materiality at which I care is the death of a loved one. Anything below that doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
His neck is such a starkly different colour. Did he only put sunscreen on his face or is this a medical condition? Is he okay? If I only feel anger in my body not my head will it make my body red instead of my face too?
I like hate like the word 'like' because like it's used like to excess like. So, I like think like that word like ought to be like scrapped like from like the English dictionary.
Jesus Christ! Mr. Millers "like"-Tourette is insufferable! I did a quick search & count in the transcript, just for fun an giggles..... 'like' comes up 600 times.....
It hurts to feel , I am quit , I wish i was a B.. and not be nice , B.. people tell it like it is , they do not get walked on , they do not care what people think , they do not cry , being nice leaves you feeling like somebody's kicking stone , me being nice is my grandmothers fault and being a believer in Christ makes you feel vulnerable , trying to live up to higher standards , I am alone because of stupid feelings
Sorry you feel this way. Being nice in a wrong enviroment can be frustrating and leave you with feeling that everybody around is using you or are better than you. However it's just indication that you are in a wrong place and surounded yourself with bad people. Trust me there is a lot of people in a world and in your own country that would appreciate your friendly and kind presence. I hope you will find your place in the world where you will be valued for your kindness and positive approach to life! 💪😌
I’d really appreciate if you offered a clean version of your podcast so that I don’t need to explain what, “fuck you, I’m not a pussy” to my kids should they overhear that.
Do the fucking magical techniques you're talking about. You've come on a podcast to talk about these things. I'm seeing this more and more, quickly mentioning these things that will improve your life but not actually explaining them properly. The guest was nearly taken back when Chris wanted clarification on the techniques. I'm lucky that I've been doing some of these practices for a while but I'd imagine if I came into this podcast cold, I'd stop listening after a few minutes.
I mean he did explain the breathing with arc regulating and stuff, then towards the beginning where you just sort of let it out in either tears or a sigh or yell which has personally helped me. I think he went alright.
I’d really like to listen to your show out loud while I’m doing housework. The issue I take is I have kids and my they could have heard you say, “fuck you, I’m not a pussy” and I’m not okay with him repeating that. Would you ever consider changing the format?
Bruv, you’ve commented this twice. How about you don’t watch it in front of your kids or use headphones instead of trying to convince people to not be real people.
Telling people that worshipping a god will fix their emotional problems is dangerous. Religion can help people by providing a community, but it also comes with risks. I was also destroyed by religion and the religious "friends" I had that told me that the religion was the only way to live and certain feelings and ideas i had were not allowed and I had to pray for forgiveness for feeling that way. No matter what you personally believe, all religions are cults.
@@dominiciannucci5217 when you realise that worshipping god is not an option but the purpose, life becomes meaningful automatically. God is the only one worthy of worship. Everything else is his creation only nothing else be it land resources beings visible invisible.
Geez Louise, some of this is too cerebral, and ridiculous. May I share Jesus with you my friends? You’d be amazed how much is answered and explained, without having to delve deep into pretentious shit.
