Yeah but most people would consider that type of thing more of a bug than a feature. If you stopped someone on the street and asked them if ugly people should get longer prison sentences they would most likely say no.
One is a pest that can cause an infections and carry bacteria/diseases. The other is an insect that’s harness, stays out doors, and tends to stay away from humans. Not a good comparison.
@@QOVESStudio This quote does not really work because cockroaches actually bring diseases to human. They also thrive in an unhygienic environment and are a sign of one. House full of cockroaches is a bad impression of its owner. Using other physically unimpressive but otherwise harmless insect might lend a better metaphor.
Let's be real, we ALL know that looks matters a lot, but it's just politically incorrect to say that it does. Anyone that says that looks doesn't matter are either clueless or lying.
@@atoxico436 You cant make people invest time and effort into getting to know someone who is not doing it for them physically. Specially since there are so many other people to invest your time into. But the good news is - we perceive what is attractive not only by looking at facial symmetry or height, but also how someone is dressed, health of their skin, hair, their body language. So if your skin is healthy, and you take care of your teeth, and dress good - people will be more willing to spend time to know you. The bad news is - majority of people are average not only in looks but personality also lol. So even if they get to know you - chances are they will not find anything special hahah. (Nor you will find in them too ofc)
Sometimes being an attractive woman is a cause for discrimination from other women. Women think you have it good enough as it is and so they will be downright cold or mean for no real reason
Looks matter, but I like to think it’s relative. Someone who is “cute”, will be treated better than someone who is considered “ugly” by our standards. But put a really “hot/sexy” person alongside just “cute” people, that hot/sexy person will be getting almost, if not all the “benefits” from strangers, and ignore the cute ones. I’ve seen this multiple times with my own eyes.
Its the human brain - if you put all the available options in one line, we will select the most desired ones and ignore the rest. But if you show them one by one - then we are more likely to pick even not the top tier looks. For us its not just about best looks over all , but the best looks at this moment in time.
Hell I'm no model and I've been on both sides. I had a baby face all the way up until the summer after JR year. It seemed like overnight my facial fat melted off leaving a prominent and sharp bone structure. Style certainly had something to do with it as I started dressing more "adult" but people interacted with me differently. They seemed to be a bit sheepish when first introduced in stark contrast to a bubbly exterior. Might just've look like a school sh00ter though (
It's actually bizarre how everyone who's obsessed with "privilege" never talks about the 2 biggest privileges beauty and wealth. If you have those 2 things then the world is like an amusement park for you
Been working hard to improve my looks this year. Dental work + teeth whitening, hitting the gym, following a diet, improving my skincare, getting a hair system, buying height insoles, chewing mastic gum, booking a professional photo shoot for social media, etc. Fairly optimistic I can improve some of my outcomes.
@@FancyForestPerson interesting argument! I've just experimented with posting my pic that shows abs on a Dating app. When people text me and I didn't reply they got angry, but soon a made an excuse and they seemed pretty chill later on. So I think though people may hate you if you are attractive and a-hole, you can still get a second chance easily.
Thats a good job you are doing. Just be careful about the "professional photoshoot" - you dont wanna your pics to look fake and artificial. I have a friend who always post pics that are like from a fashion maggazine. The problem is - your insta IS NOT A FASHION MAGGAZINE. So he always look like a wanna be male model lol.
As an unattractive woman, I can testify that I am treated much worse than my prettier friends. Especially men seem to be disgusted by my presence alone, and give me that polite look, while their eyes clearly tell me 'sorry, but you are definitely not my type, I pity you, because no-one will ever love you when you are that repulsive' look. Even if I did nothing to imply I was looking for anything at all. I am always the 'grenade' when going out. Women tend to do one of two things: put me down because being ugly means you are 'below' them in social status, and they use that to amplify their own. Or be super nice (sometimes because they want to be friends, sometimes because they want to enhance their own beauty and kindness; and sometimes a little bit of both). Anyone who says looks don't matter is straight up lying. It goes way beyond romantic interaction, it is everyday situations as well.
I agree with you but you are looking for a man's approval to feel likeable. That's the craziest thing ever. It's like you don't love yourself enough that you require validation from others. Remember confidence, attracts better people. Also people perceive me to be pretty and jealous girls look down on me as if I'm downright ugly cause I'm nice to others. So you can never win with other people who are nasty
@@Luluwahkey I am not looking for approval from others in order to love myself. I just HATE the way I am treated by others. As if I am the worst piece of garbage on this planet, not worthy of basic human respect. As if they think I am putting them on a fucking pedestal, and they feel the need to 'pity' me because they see me as something so revolting, that I will never be able to find love. You don't know what that feels like. And yes, in weak moments you tend to believe them. And sorry to bust your little bubble, but everyone needs some form of positive social feedback. All that bullshit about 'not needing other people validation' is just insecure people trying to repress their pain and pretend not to care, because they think it makes them cooler in other peoples eyes. Or they had more positive feedback than negative, so they don't understand how crushing that weight can be. I am a normal human, with human emotions. When people treat me like garbage, I feel pain, as normal humans do. Saying that you don't need positive social feedback is bullshit. Sorry for the rant, but I am so sick of these stereotypical lies/brainwash.
Look matters but there are maximum capacity it can do. Beauty fades. Public image and personality lasts. People are not blind of things you did in the past. Also, to some degree, your body is the reflection of your lifestyle and your health (mental and physical). Compare Amber Heard and Olivia Colman.
@@HereIAm247 i also go through same painful experience of being treated like trash everyday by human beings coz of how I look it's got to the point where I really hate people it hurts to be treated like trash while other pple get praised
@@HereIAm247 ok do what you like but for me it's not stereotypical. I was actually bullied throughout my life. I learned the hard way that you can't win everyone's heart and don't require validation. The day you learn to enjoy your own presence is the day you will understand. It's not bullshit if you haven't experienced it yet. Also what I went through isn't a bubble. You just haven't experienced it yet. And I understand you and I are different but I don't feel insecure to repress my pain when looking for answers. I'm curious. 2 vastly different things. I will only look for answers if it benefits me mentally, psychologically, intellectually, emotionally and physically. It's not limited to just beauty. You need to stop looking for it from someone who doesn't appreciate the world beyond their devices
Many people that have gone through significant weight loss can attest to this too. Suddenly people are a lot nicer to you and you become a lot more approachable.
For me it was the opposite - I was a lanky skinny kid with acne, no muscle or fat. Combined with subpar social skills and lack of confidence this was a near social death sentence for me. I was mocked and ignored, at best tolerated. When I ate lots, went to the gym and began filling out my clothes, worked on my jawline and took care of my acne, I was still socially clumsy and lacked confidence but there was still a massive difference in how people treated and respected me. People actually took an interest in me whereas before I was either invisible or a target for bullies.
It varies. Becoming more attractive as a female can also lead you to being bombarded with viscious bullying by other girls and sexual harassment all the time.
@@sacrilegiousboi978 so you started working out and got muscle and got more attention. I can promise you if you had gotten fat you would've been treated like shit
It’s also interesting how social circles can dictate how attractive you are. For example in school for the majority of time I spent there I was regarded as unattractive (probably because of how quiet I was and how much confidence I lacked schools are very tough places for those that don’t stand up for themselves) looking back now I’ve realised I was never ugly, it what I believed because it’s what people told me. Your appearance really can effect so much after I lost a some weight certain “friends” no longer picked on me as I had a finally decided to value myself. Now I believe I am very attractive but it took a 80% of my life so far to solidify that. I always think the starting point is to value yourself, easier said then done but if you don’t then no one else will.
Yeah you can always add more to your attractiveness through style choice, fitness and clearing up skin etc. I think those are very underrated and can turn someone unattractive into average or so.
@@MultiLightDark What a bunch of nonsense. Unless you are obese like she was ( which makes you unattractive ) you can't become "more attractive" through fitness, confidence or taking more showers. None of these things matter if you are actually attractive, which 80% of people are not. You could be dressed in a pikachu outfit covered in shit and you'd still be attractive.
I disagree. It’s possible to value yourself, be confident and still be physically unattractive. In other words, physical attractiveness should be distinguished from attractive personality traits like confidence.
For some reason women think that being confident is VERY attractive on both men and women. Its very weird. Coz for us guys - even a confident ugly chick is still gonna be ugly. And shy pretty one - well, it may actually make her seems even more attractive.
I was never ugly. All of my features harmonically match each other on my face and I was born with the “perfect nose” however bc I’m overweight and have acne I don’t experience pretty privilege anymore. I know what it’s like on both sides of the island. Now I started gym, wearing braces to fix just one tooth that was crooked, eating healthy and taking accutane. I know for fact in 6 months I’ll be unrecognizable and will be treated like a human being again. So if there’s anything you can do for your overall health and beauty, DO IT. It WILL pay off.
i always had pretty privilege until i had an accident in my early twenties and due to the foot injury that had me walk on crutches for 6 months and a toxic ex who had me depressed, i gained a lot of weight within a year. i was so out of touch with myself that i didn't see the weight gain on myself - the moment i realized something had drastically changed was when random people would be so unfriendly/unkind to me. like cashiers or people in the streets. they also looked at me in such a different way, to people who would normally interact i became invisible (like literally bumping into me etc) and the grossest dudes started to catcall me and hit on me. happy i could bounce back with hard work in the gym etc, cause the world was a different one and not in a good way.
Being a woman you have to deal with not being too unattractive to avoid social alienation and not being too attractive to also avoid the demonisation of ultra-femininity.
agreed, people are less hostile towards you if you are average looking People has always thought of me as approachable and non threatening because I have a forgettable face
Very true. I am genetically a late bloomer, so I went through puberty very late in life, nearly at the end of high school. Over the span of the break between junior and senior year, I went from a short ugly nerd, to a 6'2, chiselled jawline, deep voice prettyboy. All of a sudden, the other guys respected me more, I wouldn't get talked over or interrupted, my ideas would be taken more seriously, when I told a story people wouldn't just stop listening, etc. The difference with girls was even more profound. I had a bunch of tall friends at the time, so I was always the invisible one in my friend group, until my metamorphosis. Now, women saw me as confident and outgoing where before I was an annoying irritant. Now, despite being the exact same person inside, I was told my personality was attractive (actually not a single woman has said my looks are the reason they like me, despite me never getting a single girl with the exact same personality when I was ugly. smh) and I went from "know-it-all" to "intelligent", from "touchy creep" to "physically affectionate" (we show love via touch in my family, but its only okay with others if you're hot. In fact, now women go out of their way to touch me because I guess its more socially acceptable for women to be touchy). This effect was boosted by an order of magnitude once I started working out regularly. This experience highkey fucked with me, and I still cannot get into long term relationships because I'm always wondering in the back of mind if the girl would like me if I didn't look the way I do. I honestly think I need therapy or something, but at the same time I wonder how useful it would be, because it's not like all this is in my head, my social life really did a full 180 once I became a "pretty" Edit: the only things that didn't really change were my relationships with my existing friends (because I guess they saw the change more gradually and it wasn't as much of a shock to them) and the way older women treated me (except, where before they complimented me on my smarts, now its all "such a handsome boy"). Even older men tell me shit like "you're finally a man now" even though literally a few months prior to my glow up they wouldn't have said that and literally nothing except my looks had changed. Its frustrating when I try to talk about this to others because even if they accept that pretty privilege exists, they don't think its as big of a factor as it really is, when my lived experience shows its basically two different worlds that ugly and attractive people live in. They always think I'm just exaggerating for effect or making a mountain out of a molehill :(
You indeed seem very intelligent, that's why you question people's attitude so much. Yes physical appearance is super important, that's why I work on mine quite a bit. Talking to a therapist can help if you feel to negative towards other people due to the way you analyse things. This sometimes happens with intelligent people and I believe therapy can help to sort out certain things we find to be absurd sometimes.
What a great comment! You really are very intelligent. I hope you will find someone who understands your point of view and your critical thinking. (For me, it was always the more „unattractive“ girls that were more open-minded and just over all more intelligent and understanding.)
As someone who grew up with an atractive older sibling it feel like shit most of the time lmao, your parents' friends would always compliment their looks but not you, your friends joke about if you two are actually related, you put effort into your look but when you're next to them you still fall short and I noticed how different I was being treated when I was just 8 years old so yeah, things like that fuck with your self confident ALOT. It doesn't help that people would point out things you didn't even knew were ugly untill they say it and this suck especially during my weight gain and even after that phase, after being on the lower end of the healthy BMI chart and actually dress better, it's still not enough. I learned that no matter how much makeup I put on, how much I diet and exercise I do , how much effort I put in my outfit, I'll never be as atractive because my face simply is not atractive enough and this shit hurt.
My brother grew into his looks before I did and I distinctly remember people going "wow Matt you got really good looking. Aaron your beard is really red" Like that's not even a compliment, just an observation lol
Same situation here, but my younger sister being the attractive one. She'd get gifts on valentine's from the guys and gals, while I usually buy myself some chocolate lol. I also distinctively remember a time in 6th grade where someone just came up to me and asked, "Why is your sister pretty but not you?" which broke me badly, and so out of anger and spite I decided that if I can't be the sibling whose also attractive, I'll just be the sibling whose the smartest, thus becoming an academic over achiever, which was also bad cause now everytime my grades are any lesser, I'll feel like I'll lose whatever value I had to offer. Sorry for the vent.
@@blake_404 Its really like me, i already know that its different how my family and environtment treat me with my good looking sisters.... And the fact i noticed that i never got free treatment like food or another, not like the good looking around me, they have many ppl that want to give them free food and etc, i almost all buy my self lol.
Well, you cant really change your genetics . But if you did everything you can , then its useless to try harder, just keep doing what are you doing looks wise and try to invest more time and effort into other qualities - being smart, funny, charming ect. In fact - investing in your personality is more profitable coz it will last longer. And if dating options are your goal - guys will take funny and smart 7 over boring 10 every day of the week. (If we talk about relationships and not one night thing)
@@blake_404 Value? Value is relative. Like - there are models - they have high value in looks. But if you need your colon checked for cancer, you are not gonna go look for a pretty doctor lol. If you want a friend - good looks is useless, and majority of people are looking for someone smart, funny and caring. (That even after accounting for the halo effect ). And about relationships - good looking people are doing better and have more dating options. Thats a fact. But specially for women, being good looking only guarantee sexual attention. Men are attracted to pretty women, but majority of men will not make you their gf only for looks. They will sleep with you, but nothing more.
I also got a bunch of plastic surgery and lost a ton of weight and became really high maintenance. Yes everyone does treat you differently. Looks do matter but no one actually cares about you as a person. People are superficial and that's the truth. Pretty Privilege does exist!
@@cambodianpleasuresquad1753 I'm coming back to this a couple of months later but i definitely agree. But I also came to the conclusion regardless of how pretty to look at you are, peopple still won't care about you as a person.
Once I earned my own money, I began investing in myself. It's true people treat you different. Being aesthetic has its advantages. But wouldn't be healthier to change our mindsets as society? Are we in a beauty peagent contest where standards only go up and up?
You can change a persons mind but you have pretty much no chance at changing a groups mind. Yes we are definitely in a beauty contest and appearance means a lot more than it did before. People judge peoples look because it's an evolutionary thing and not doing so would literally go against nature.
@@MultiLightDark Our whole society is circumventing nature, the internet and cars and skyscrapers are definitely not natural. The whole space sector! I think it's possible for humans to go against their nature too.
The positive reaction to a goodlooking face happens deep in the brain, and it happens in a split second. It's just not realistic to alter billions of people's brains against what's instinctual. It's interesting that you mention beauty pageants, because I usually find the contestants and winners to be girls and women with rather average facial features, who put in an extreme amount of effort with makeup and grooming, talent presentation etc. Yes you can sometimes be a prizewinner for trying really really really hard.
@@MultiLightDark The way we treat attractive people is so deeply ingrained in our biology that society will never ever be able to truly change it. There are quite a few articles online that talk about how even infants prefer to look at more attractive people and like them more, look it up.
Its biology. Its basically the same as with food and high calorie dense stuff. Before we barely ever got to taste sweets or white bread with butter and stuff. Now you can eat a cake/McDonalds for dinner every day. So every food that is not so tasty must compete with the strong biological inclination and availability.
I have friends who are super attractive (i'm talking top of the top super model) and some who are more on the ugly side. I thought, for some reason, that people who are uglier would not judge others differently based on their looks since they know how it feels. They do. I remember bringing two friends. one guy who was very sexy/hot and everyone was excited and kept asking me when i'll bring him for the party ; treated him like a prince and stuff... while the other friend who was considered less attractive was never in their mouth, no one really cared about him. So yeah, tons of people judge on looks. Do not be fooled.
What you are expecting from your friends is simply against human nature. That’s why it doesn’t matter if “they know how it feels”. We are hardwired to like people who are more physically attractive and it is a subconscious effect. It takes a lot of discipline and analysis on your own behaviors to realize and adjust yourself to not behave this way, it’s not realistic to expect for the average person.
I actually believe ppl who get bullied/any form of harm based on their look are actually rlly judgmental, since they are always disregarded, if they see someone who is "even worse" than them, they will take advantage of it and mock the person. Would feel good to *finally* have someone who have even less "worth" than them, so they'll feel better about their own condition cuz after all, there is someone even worse than them. (ofc I think the ppl behaving this way are the one who didn't accept their look, struggle with confidence if that makes sense) Plz share your opinion abt it :)
I know. Often ugly people will comment negatively on other people looks instead of looking into mirror. Probably it makes them feel better about themselves. I know I'm not beautiful but my looks was commented on in negative way several times - by other ugly individuals!!! I'm objectively stating they didn't look any better than me. I also noticed some unattractive girls just glue themselves on an attractive girl, like good looks would be infectious... They highly regard something what themselves are missing so they are obsessed with a person who possesses it. I never regarded looks as the most important part of any person.
Exactly. I gained 30+ pounds no one talked to me. I felt like I was invisible. All my old "friends" acted like they didn't know me lmaooo i was hurt. humans are weird when you're unattractive
Wow. I'm 20 year old Russian man. I am often asked if I work as a model. I noticed people always treat me better even if I mess a lot (I do) Anyway I have a lot of insecurities, absolutely no charisma and socialization problems. So I convinced myself that beauty is the only thing I have and that keeps me from suffering like this girl.
fr i know the feel. we're all anons here so there's really no reason for me to lie. But i'm such an awkward mfer i feel like and very solitary in nature. and have some friends tell me they thought i was really arrogant at first (because i'm shy but they mistake it for arrogance)
I think for many it does matter, you're right. I think we want to be thought of as less superficial than we are currently. Look at how much Kylie Jenner exploded after all her work. Kind of breaks your heart.
@@rosewaters9991 it's honestly so much better when people are accepting about the truth for the longest time i used to feel validated seeing people lie about how looks doesn't matter and it sucked !
Apart of me wish it didn't exist (not pretty people their fine but the stigma of it all) cuz then people get to be themselves and flourish as human beings that aren't superficial. And accept each other. But that's a future that might not exist
Great content as usual. As well-intentioned as those who insist that "looks don't matter" may be, how you look affects how you're perceived, and how you're perceived affects how you are treated, which inevitably determines quality of life.
I'm objectively alright looking. could be better, could be worse. I was talking about this subject and some conventionally attractive women in my class tried to argue that they struggle with getting harassed and assaulted because of their looks. But conventionally unattractive women also go through all this. I've been assaulted and harassed many times in my life. it's about power, not being pretty.
As far as I have read - majority of sexual crimes are based on power/anger/sadism NOT on sexual desires. I dont know why its not more mainstream knowledge.
All of us can suffer these kinds of things, but many factors affect how much, maybe power is one of them, but sexual desiree of is a factor, Why you think that statistically women of reproductive age are the group more assaulted, Why not men or grannies? I imagine that being attractive for more people put you on more risk, looks matter to the good and to the bad
@@senoritacastro You do know that men get sexually attacked and harassed too right? Are they victims too based on sexism? But to answer your question - Most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows: a neighbor, friend, acquaintance, co-worker, classmate, spouse, partner or ex-partner. When you are a granny - your social circle is not full of young, strong, capable men. And old women are not a challenge if I may use this term. You cant get a kick out of having power over someone if they are very weak and fragile to begin with. And old women have almost no power in social sense. They are not as "fun" to break or rule over. And yes, being less sexually attractive.
Very true. Although my model like looking sister went through stuff I didn't have to go through because I am more average.... In her case I think beauty was a bit of a curse. Well I wish I had been beautiful like her I think I'd have handled it better. Like she had truly rich men attracted to her. Whereas I got the cute but very average guy always approaching me which is great, I am not complaining, but I didn't get the opportunity she had.
You have to be very down to harass or assault unattractive women... Just because there are some lowly criminals who do that, it doesn't mean they got the same chances of being raped as an attractive woman. Also, most of those cases are exaggerated... Most of the time, if an unattractive man began to flirt with attractive women, it's harassment, or molestation itself... About 80% of these cases are not serious.
No literally so true. I recently got nose and chin filler just to balance my face and went from being slightly unnatractive to simply being a nice looking guy. The amount of people who are just more pleasant to me is insanneeee.
As someone who was bullied for years because of being ugly to being appreciated for having a really unique charm ,pretty priviledge is real...one has to live to understand how differently world treats people based on thier looks.
I used to think I was “ half human”. Half visible, half not. I was always aware that it was because of my looks. I had no idea how to fix it at the time. I grew up and professionally got into aesthetics, and the attention is good but scary and overall my life improved drastically. I hate when people minimize the effects of attraction as it is apart of the human experience and a lot of the change in your peers is subconscious.
Can attest, i was bullied and ignored throughout most of middle school and freshmen year. I was also stuck with the same toxic friend group throughout all of middle school due to not being able to make other friends. After the pandemic hit and we went online for a year, I put alot of effort into fixing my appearance. I got braces, started skin treatments, learned how to do my makeup, and overall dressed better. Since then, I haven’t been bullied once and never gotten any bad treatment. I’ve made more friends in one year than ever and guys started liking me… its crazy. People who claim that pretty privilege doesn’t exist either have that privilege themself or are blissfully ignorant.
My baby niece has the halo effect. She’s a blond blue eyed baby, with a tiny nose and a pink mouth and skin. I notice how everyone treats her better than other babies, in Brazil she has the most desirable features. She’s an extrovert baby cuz she knows when she smiles, everyone immediately stop what they’re doing to give her attention and say how cute she is. Pretty privilege is damn true. I am considered quite pretty here, but not like that, so I hope I can improve my appearance to achieve a new level of privilege.
My goodness. Her story really made me relive my eczema ridden days. I've experienced both ends of the spectrum, and I definitely prefer being treated with decency versus disgust. I know it's not the popular thing to say, but the treatment from kids to adults for having bad skin really messed me up and I'm grateful I improved my skin. I would never lie to people that looks don't matter, because they do.
It is a privilege and also a curse. There was a time when I took very good care of myself, I worked at a whole foods in Belleview WA and started to get my hair done and got passionate about makeup and clothes. Before long creepy old dudes started stalking me at the store and was sexually assaulted by a supposed friend and her husband. After that I shaved my head and gained weight. I am really starting to care about myself again. I'm losing weight and treating my hair to make it healthy again. It's been 5 years so it took awhile but the world really chews up and spits out beautiful people.
@@abigailloar956 lmao, what makes you think being attractive get you more raped. Rapist don't care what you wear or look, they're still gonna molest. Do you really think criminals care.
@@abigailloar956 yes but sexual assault or rape isn't exclusive to attractive people, rape is an act violence not attraction most of the time, you dont have to find someone attractive to be violent towards them. As someone who isn't attractive, I have been sexually assaulted and catcalled multiple times and when I speak about my experience, it invalidated because of my looks, there even been rape cases that get dismissed because the woman was "too ugly to be raped"
I agree that pretty privilege is real. As an autistic woman with a great eye for colours and shapes (it's my job as a Fine Art restorer, and I also greatly enjoy high fashion and fashion history), I happen to look good and totally enhance my look and use it as a tool to compensate for my failings caused by autism. I noticed I get away with shit I would _not_ accept myself, because people perceive me as this very cute and neat little lady with a fabulous look and a bright smile and mysterious dark eyes (the real mystery being just me in a permanent state of confusion that I am excellent at hiding lol). When befriending men, they tend to lose their shit because "damn that pretty lady shows interest in me", and it's always the first compliment I get from people in general, "oh you're so pretty". However, people tend to stop at that, or become flippant when they see my autistic traits, because it doesn't fit their perception of what I am supposed to be: a pretty dollish lady. It also means that autistic people who aren't as attractive will not experience as much leniency as I do, because people won't have the excuse of the "oh but what a cute person" to soften their judgment. This is one of the thoughts I've been having lately that is becoming a bit of a momentary obsession, because I've recently changed job at my work and am now slowly climbing the ladder, but it happened in a really messy way and had I not had my looks to protect me, things wouldn't have been as nice during my transition/adaptation period. The unfairness of the situation is very striking.
> It also means that autistic people who aren't as attractive will not experience as much leniency as I do, because people won't have the excuse of the "oh but what a cute person" Yep. For male autists, frequent description is creepy instead of cute. Maybe attractive ones do better. Only a small number finds partner. For the attractive opposite sex autists, they could find one. Probably keeping the relationship together would be challenging. Less attractive could experience casual sex at least. Few of them will be femcel. I turned 26 this month. In the primary/middle school, children mostly didn't interact with opposite gender. Then I went to high school with ~no girls. Same with higher education. I had basically no socialization with girls, ever.
@@sinity8068had a similar experience growing up with autism + being a late bloomer. Dealing with women especially in high school was a nightmare, and the only “friends” I had picked on me relentlessly because I was short and an easy target. As I grew into my looks more and hit a growth spurt to be around 6’0” things have gotten better over the years, but it’s still extremely difficult to find a partner. About a million different talking stages, a handful of first dates, a few casual experiences, but still no real relationship. It feels like passing through the first date stage can be nearly impossible at times as an autist because we’re wired so differently
I was told I “swanned” while in high school , no cosmetics except braces but I do look very different post puberty. I went from being the most unpopular kid, literally told I was “ugly but nice” as a compliment, to finding it easy to make friends. now I’m over a decade beyond that, and I seem to just be getting better at presenting myself in clothing style, make up, etc. i still struggle greatly with confidence but as I get older this stuff does seem to matter less and less.
I "swanned" in my early 20's and good looking people really ddismissing. People will straight up tell you're ugly unprovoked. It's so cruel and dimishing.
Honestly it’s best to average to upper-average. When you’re a beautiful woman, you get people trying to tear you down as much as lift you up. They like having you around, but they don’t want you ever surpassing them in other ways. People will go out of their way to help you, but only because they want something from you. People assume you are caty and exclusionary, so they try to beat you to it. You find yourself having to actually be exclusionary because everyone wants a piece of you.
@@hevxhev that’s the one that burns me up! Always happens to me at work… even in a virtual environment. I tried to use the most basic photo of me and I’m still getting treated like this. My last job someone had to pull me aside and tell me my troubles were bc I was pretty and fit… and they didn’t like that. I ended up leaving bc of the bullying.
As the owner of a Qoves report with the words "major aesthetic flaws" in it I can tell you for a fact you know your level of attractiveness by the way you're treated by strangers. Friends and family can tell you you're beautiful as much as they want, but it's how the rest of the world treats you that gives you a clear indication of how you rank in the looks department. I've experienced over and over again how my friends who were considered conventionally beautiful were treated. They had the shittiest personalities, but it didn't matter. When you get offered free things wherever you go and everyone just wants to interact with you without you having to make any effort.....that's when you know you're considered good looking.
yes, pretty privilege exists and it could also be called the halo effect, when people also assume that you're automatically a good person because of your good looks. it sucks to admit, but it's the truth :( i think that beauty is such a delicate topic because we know that admitting and confirming that someone is ugly makes them feel less valuable. But personally I'd rather be around someone who does not fit the beauty standards because I personally find some of their features pretty and their companionship very pleasent.
Beauty and the beauty standard aren't always the same cuz the beauty standard usually focuses on one form of beauty. Look across time and cultures and you'll find many different beauty standards, so just cuz someone doesn't match the current standard doesn't mean they aren't attractive. For example here in the west the beauty standard is a sexy more mature look, that slimthick figure, for women but that doesn't make a women with a more cute appearance any less pretty.
But I think people finds more faults in beautiful people like criticising minor details and jealous people creating rumours about them, all the beautiful people I've known irl were always talked about badly and alot of people thinks they are mean or narcissistic etc but when I get to know them they are quite nice tho. But those are the cons of being attractive , they have moree pros tho so 😆
I've had a very strange relationship with my looks. As a child, I was bullied for being ugly, and nobody really gave me any compliments on my looks. I was unpopular in my late teens, although not bullied anymore. Looking back, I was a normal-looking kid, nothing particularly ugly about me, but being told so often that I was ugly put those thoughts deep into my mind. As soon as I turned 20, everything was different. I was getting hit on, people were friendlier, sweeter, disappointed when I had a boyfriend, etc. I have the same face I've had since I was 14, but somehow I stopped being ugly after high school? It's very odd having seen the stark contrast in how people treat you when they find you attractive vs not. The difference in respect, friendliness, customer service, leeway when you're wrong... it's horrifying and gross.
I've had the same experiencie as you and it feel so comforting to find someone else who has been through similar changes. I still don't get how everything changed all of sudden after so many years of being bullied for being ugly. I literaly look the same but now people hit on me. However, the treatment with service never changed in my case because I was young so adults treated me good becuase for some reason they thought I was cute. Like: aww this cute girl is doing this, let me help her. Or it was just older women being nice to a 13 yo.
I’m in healthcare & I try to look after the forgotten ones the most bc I know society has probably conditioned them to not look after themselves for these exact reasons.
It’s fine to treat someone better who is more attractive , but we shouldn’t treat other people who are less attractive poorly. People shouldn’t sugar coat things and “lie” to everyone and say they are attractive. Yes, we’re all attractive in our own ways, but that doesn’t mean we are going to be privileged for it , great video !
Did you mean to say "its okay to treat somebody well because they are attractive but the ones who are less shouldn't be treated worse because of that". I'm asking this because the way you worded that sounded kinda contradicting, because by saying its fine to treat the one who is more attractive better, you automatically say its okay to treat the less attractive one worse.
@@hfovc1x3t5y better as in more advantage , like you’ll compliment them (because that’s how you feel about them for example) however you shouldn’t degrade the less attractive ones by calling them worse or to bring them down to lift someone else up , if that makes sense , basically if someone wants to treat someone who’s more attractive better then fine but the ones who aren’t that attractive shouldn’t be treated poorly and should be treated with mutual respect , yea it’s kinda confusing but basically everyone should be treated kindly , however some will be treated better and it makes sense because it’s just privilege and that’s just how life is I guess , can’t change that , however what we can do is improve how we treat everyone else
Wow, it really needs to be said: Yes, looks matter and alter others’ perception of you - for better or worse. But that absolutely does NOT mean that people and society at large get a pass for actively mistreating people on this basis. This is NOT acceptable behaviour. It’s deeply concerning that younger people are increasingly not hearing that message. The solution is not simply in people levelling up (which of course you can do if you want to) but in creating and enforcing social conditions that operate on the basis of treating people w dignity and respect. Don’t want to date someone because they’re not physically attractive enough? Fine. However, bullying, ridicule or poor treatment of an ‘unattractive’ individual is not a penance paid for being ugly. Moreover, it actually reveals the ugliness of the the other person’s character. My heart feels for this girl who grew up in a family that didn’t love and respect her irrespective of looks. That’s what family is supposed to do. I’m so sorry she was failed by them, but if you’re in a similar position, DO NOT internalise other peoples crappiness. Being ‘ugly’ may mean you don’t get access to certain privileges but Jesus Christ it certainly doesn’t mean you deserve to be ostracised and/or mistreated. People who do this to you are trash, stay away from them.
Yours is the best comment under this topic. Yes, looks matter, sadly still most of people judge others by their looks, even when themselves look crappy.
@@marthas.4456 This woman suffered psychological abuse from her family, that’s the kicker. Her other siblings being treated better because they were more attractive actually isn’t okay either. A child being treated with love and having their self esteem built up by their caregivers should never be dependent on that child’s looks - it should be a baseline for every child. Unfortunately it isn’t, but that doesn’t mean the child has failed because they didn’t look good enough to have their parents do things right. It’s a failing of the parents! It’s ludicrous to me this isn’t being pointed out… probably because very young people who have been mistreated haven’t learned/realised that yet. It can take many years for us to stop internalising other peoples toxic behaviour and recognising it fit what it is. If someone had a disability, we wouldn’t say, “Well they deserve to be discriminated against because it’s a harsh world and unhindered ability matters”. I know it isn’t necessarily the point of this channel, but I think the lack of commentary on this from the creator was ill-advised, especially when the key take away for so many vulnerable people is, “If I look better, I’ll stop being disrespected and mistreated” which certainly isn’t always the case.
I absolutely agree with you. I think we should treat others as human regardless of their physical appearance, especially if they haven't done anything morally wrong at all. Take a person's face away (not literally) and try to judge their character instead, then you'll be the judge if they deserve any respect according to your morals. Harrasment, disrespect, bullying, assault are not acceptable to be done on an innocent person. This is not me dismissing pretty privilege btw, i just want to say that we should be kind and compassionate to those deserving of respect. We should also hold others accountable for terrible behaviour, regardless of appearrance. At the end of the day, we're all human. Thanks for reading. ps. sorry for any gramatical errors, im still learning x.x
I can relate. From considered 'ugly' to 'slightly above average'. Ever so slightly. But a whole world of difference. It must be another Universe for extremely attractive ones.
Surprisingly you can be considered a very beautiful woman and still have deep insecurities. Also often being reduced to your beauty. Loved for something that is just an illusion.
@@zoejaures8392 That's where charisma and confidence comes in ;) We can be told "you're beautiful" all day long but we have to feel/display it from within. Not to mention, beauty is (and becomes) far more than what the human eye can see, physically.
As someone who is invisible, I find that I quite enjoy. I'm not ugly, just fat and black and a woman. So I'm simply ignored for the most part. It gives me a degree of freedom that I'm certain I wouldn't have if I was thin. My desire to be desired often conflicts with my desire to retain this level of freedom. This ability to almost skate by in society because people are almost never paying attention to me.
Seems like the perfect compromised to get both the freedom and pretty privilege is to be attractive only with make-up/clothes like that you could just switch in whatever you want lol
@@onlygameplay134 she isn't being a black women is often seen in the unattractive spectrum . Which is why people often say to black people "yOu ArE qUiTe gOod lOokInG fOr a BlAcK peRsOn.Fairness it one attractive feature in many cultures of the world,so much even black men prefer light skin women over black.
I went from above average (6-6.5) to objectively attractive (7+) after several surgeries. I am Korean and got all surgeries in South Korea. Before I was a little plain in the face but lucked out in body genetics. I lucked out hard because my dad is facially average with a good body, and my mom is “unattractive” but has perfect skin. I started off facially average with perfect skin and a good body. After lots of surgery I look like a budget/tomboy Kathy Zheng. Before, I was told I’m pretty by strangers very occasionally, and can work up to attractive with lots of styling and good clothes. After, I get told I’m attractive by random strangers more frequently, especially if I bother with clothes and makeup, I can become “the prettiest girl in the room”. Otherwise, there isn’t a noticeable difference in interactions because I went from above average to more above average. I’m not goddess tier like Kathy Zheng, who won the facial and body lottery. Plastic surgery is not magic. The surgeon can only do so much. What matters the most is facial genetics and underlying bone structure. If both of those are weak, plastic surgery will not make much difference. Plastic surgery is best when you look mostly normal but have a few glaring flaws, like a crooked nose or small eyes or huge chin or something. Realistically, after 7 surgeries I look almost the same, because my base face was so plain. Facial contouring was probably the most noticeable surgery to me because I no longer hate seeing my asymmetrical jaw in the mirror, but the least noticeable to everyone else. To everyone else, double eyelid surgery probably makes the most difference.
Exactly - the most important aspect in developing self esteem is a loving family. If your parents will tell you you are ugly, doesn't matter how beautiful you are, you will still believe you are ugly.
this is so true if you dont look good people do disregard you after you transform all of a sudden everyone is nice at first you'll be happy but later on you realize everything is superficial so in the end ur not sure if you'll be happy or what 😩
Yes, so true, when you have the ability to be ugly or attractive you can truly understand the nature of humans. Good to remmember there are still people who treat ygly people well, not a lot but it doesn't affect some people. It affects me, I think because we associate ugliness with unhealthiness and we would rather associate with healthy people. It makes a lot more sense in this way. Rather than people are 'just nice because they want to bang'
I've only recently recognized the importance of exterior beauty and have been trying to improve it by watching and applying skin care routines, products, hair tutorials, etc. Usually I'd dress in casual fit but not too long ago I was invited to a banquet and I decided to wear a formal attire with some makeup and nicer hair. I was surprised by the unusually high number of social interactions/approaches I got from strangers on my way to the location in ratio to my other casual trips to the gym or such. Since then I have been more invested in trying to upgrade my appearance, and I have to say, the beauty critiques and advises you present in your videos have been helping out a lot. Thank you :D
"I don't hate looking into the mirror anymore" This is also a big thing though. She stopped hating herself. I think all of us know a person who would be considered ugly, but still is popular, liked and gets more than enough romantic attention. Simply because of their self-confidence and charisma. Sure it is easier to be self-confident when all the people around you tell you how beautiful you are and want to hang out with you. But it is not entirely linked to your looks, but also how you see yourself. All I am saying is, working towards good mental health and self-confidence is just as important.
This was me hahaha, I was always the ugliest in my friends group (all way more attractive than me) and I got more action than many of them. I got along with everyone I had talked to in the past. That being said, I wasnt ugly, just average (real average, like 5 or 6 because i was pretty fit). I got my confidence from being the smartest and very active in different sports.
It can help, but it won't stop people from being rude if you're physically unattractive but confident. Did my best before starting highschool to be confident and accept myself, and it did work mostly, still got dunked on 💀
@@limpcheesestick - confidence is also loving yourself and not allowing others to put you down... People will put down others when they believe there is no reaction... You have to put them back into their place so they know they should not mess with you.
I’m the darkest out of my siblings. Growing up in an african household my mum always raved about how my siblings were so light (they’re both brownskin) and that they ‘got that from her’. My mum’s very vain, and always attested her beauty to her lighter skin tone. It was always obvious that I was the ‘unattractive’ sibling because i look like my dad - who is dark skinned. My mum is average at best, i’ll be honest. And i know that this light skin = attractive conditioning came from the beauty standards in Cameroun, where she grew up before moving to the UK. It was only ever by my mum I was told this. Society always treated me fine tbh. As i got older and grew into my looks, i realised I did have some privilege with beauty as I was able to get lighter or no punishments (when i was caught by ticket inspectors andd in secondary school which is really weird looking back at it). I’m 18 now and I’ve had many people compliment me on my looks. Not just my body (which i know is really aesthetically pleasing - i work on it a lot being an athlete at uni). “Pretty smile, nice eyes, so pretty, cute” are the ones i hear most often. I’d like to think I even used my looks to my advantage purposefully getting myself out of a couple of fines (bumping the train or tram lol). I’ve even had a guy come up to me in a club just to tell me I’m beautiful - I thought he wanted something out of me so i braced myself; only for him place his hand on my lower back gently smile and tell me to have a good day. All the experiences i’ve had made me acknowledge that I’m not unattractive, but I do acknowledge where I lie in this ‘beauty scale’ too, when i see how prettier girls get treated (especially of they white lol, its the truth tho). People really change their mannerisms and behaviour! I also have a friend whose obese. She’s incredibly beautiful that I’d think, if she was a smaller size its game over for the rest of us😂. She’s actively tryna loose the weight naturally which I’m helping her also as I study sport science at uni; and through prior experiences of cutting for competitions and nutrition for performance and in general life, i always try to keep her away from diet culture fads and misinformation. Besides that, the point i’m trying to make is that i’ve seen the way people treat her compared to less attractive obese women at uni and the difference is crazy. Honestly, pretty privilege DOES exist. You see it almost everyday in social situations. And not acknowledging it is pretty ignorant as this can also affect aspects like your likelihood of being hired after an interview and how your coworkers cooperate with you!
I'm the darkest of my siblings, my father is the darkest of his siblings, outside of our family we are both considered gorgeous. Luckily for me although as a child I felt the disparity in how I was treated on both sides of my family my father made me feel equally special ( I looked most like him, my mother was never an issue either) and I've always gotten compliments from everyone else. The situation was obvious because my grandmother is white passing (she is mostly white), most of her children and many of her grandchildren including myself appear obviously mixed but they were lighter skinned and I am darker. My great grandmother on the other side was also white passing so.... Anyway, to this day it is still how people distinguish me from my sisters and cousins. For me it is amusing because the behaviour is so antiquated. Have a wonderful day.
I'm browner than my siblings and my mom used to say that I don't look like her (she often calls herself beautiful bc of her light skin, she's a Leo btw :) ) I used to hate myself for not looking like my pretty mama. know I'm just embracing it I don't need to look like some one to be pretty
I lost 59kgs/130lbs and went from morbidly obese to normal weight. All of this is 100% true. As I've been very obese since early childhood, I've always been the ugly, weird girl. People shunned me, bullied me... I have a bunch of mental health issues as a result of being socially rejected my whole life. And now that I have normal weight and look fairly attractive if I dress up nice... it's bizarre. People talk to me, random people on the street or in the store, everyone is so much nicer, there are even people who are interested in me romantically... I can't get used to it. I keep waiting for it all to turn out to be a prank or something.
One problem with beauty that I’m not sure is correlation or causation is this: beautiful women are left by their husbands when they get older. I wonder why.
I worked somewhere where the schedule was given to everyone and it showed everyone’s names. I found one of the guy’s schedules and he had put little hearts next two all of the girls working that day….except me and one really tall girl ( I thought she was pretty). From there I knew I was seriously a lot worse off than I thought…the guy was chubby and short so if a guy like that didn’t like me, I didn’t stand a chance. Years later he saw me and I had lost 30lbs, got clear skin, and groomed my eyebrows…he asked me out. I couldn’t get over that. I’ve been called cute/hot/gorgeous but I will never be able to believe this because I’ve always been rejected.
I find the whole "psychological" things about it rlly interesting and reliable. You live most of your life where you are treated a certain way, then you change but still see yourself the same, and whenever you are saw differently it's always a shock and lead to the "Imposter syndrome". Always take a while to "truly" accept the change. Maybe you should try seeing a therapist, might help with this horrible feeling. Hope you'll get better, have a nice day :)
You should stay away from that guy he is the narcissistic type of male despite being on unattractive spectrum he had the audacity to believe he can choose people who are no wear near his league
This phenomenon hit me hard. In my early-mid teenage years I was rather unkempt, I never cut my hair due to insecurities with it, had fairly bad ache (genetic/hormonal) and suffered with very pale skin due to anaemia. I noticed that people used to treat me terribly/look down on me and a few noting on my appearance. I was a stellar student yet I had a few teachers hate my guts and downright insult my being for no apparent reason. Despite my appearance I luckily had some girls intersted in me one of whom was borderline obsessed with me (for whatever reason) also commented on my not so good appearance. Long story short I got skin treatment, fixed my anaemia, and decided to get a haircut. All of a sudden people were treating me much better and had a positive more welcoming attitude towards me. A female friend/aquaentience of mine came up to me one time and she was sort of looking up and down at me with a smile on her face, we had a conversation for a bit and as I was about to leave she asked me if I was going to "ask about her" which I kind if brushed of without thinking about. I had lots of kind of awe from other girls as well. This experience made me extremely aware of the superficial nature of the world especially in regards to attraction & how people value/percieve you. Fast forward a bit in college and I had some other bodily changes, I always had a deep voice but my voice broke again & girls would routinely comment on it & get giddy/turned on (haha) whenever I spoke, I ran into my female aquaentience by chance and she tried to jump my bones. Men also came to respect me more and see me as some kind of authorative or tough person. I also often get told that I'm good looking now but I genuinely don't believe it. I suffer from some really bad self worth issues now and genuinely hate the nature of humanity. I feel lucky to be "desirable" but I can't overcome the fakeness of it all.
While I believe looks in terms of the things you have control over like fitness, cleanliness, and fashion is a strong indicator of someone's lifestyle and personality, the discrimination people face outside of those factors makes it very hard to not become red/black pilled, I know how easy it is to fall down a rabbit hole of despair. I really hope socially people both accept this phenomenon and overcome their innate biases, constantly worrying about other people's perception of you over something you cannot control is incredibly debilitating and makes so many social interactions hollow. Great video btw
That one is the funniest reference! I am a literally like hyperventilating with laughter because it’s so true I have experienced it! People don’t freak out as much now that I’ve lost weight when I’m making a mistake.
Yes, being attractive is a huge benefit, for humans (and other creatures)….but it isn’t a guarantee for success. I’ve met a lot of beautiful people in my life, many who lost their appeal after I got to know them and realized how dull or dumb or ugly they were on the inside. So, as they say, looks may open the door, but they won’t keep you in the room.
Yeah wealth seems to be a much more direct source of power than beauty - and before you say something about beauty being necessary for wealth, on what planet are people like Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates etc. attractive?
Strangers judging your based on your appearance and treating you with indifference or contempt if you are not up to standards is something (I think) most people can accept in life. Your own family treating you harshly or ignoring you just because of the way you look? Brutal.
Ugh I hate people so so so so much I didn’t get plastic surgery but I grew into my features a lot. Same experience as this lady I was bullied a lot growing up to the point where I didn’t really realize I was being bullied tbh (cuz it was just normal behavior to me and I thought everyone else just felt like shit all the time) my life has changed so much and it’s easier which I’m lucky ab cuz I have so many mental illnesses now bc of all my trauma (besides the bullying too) people actually care about my mental health whereas before I was just weird and creepy and was left alone
I would love so much to tell my "story", especially because I have had a lot of arguments with my bestie who is genuinely convinced that everyone is beautiful. I've been literally invisible for most part of my life, I wouldn't say that I'm ugly, but I have got that very subtle attractiveness that is not easy to see. Also, I had no idea how to make myself "pretty": how to dress, how to do my hair and makeup ecc. I had no boyfriend till I was 22! BTW, he told me that he actually never loved me! That he confused our friendship with love. That was hard pill to swallow. After that I started to take great care of myself. I learnt makeup and hair, how to style and even Kebbe body types! I wish I knew all it before, 'cause after my "transformation" all guys that I could only dreamt about became suddenly interested in me! Most of them not seriously, most like to spend a night together, but nevertheless it proves the point of this video.
@@Jsjdn3555 if you can grow a nice beard then yes, but it’s not guaranteed. Plus, most models and the guys that are most attractive rock a clean shave normally
M19, man I felt this. I moved to a British school after elementary school, and I had similar experiences where I was either invisible or picked on cause I was ugly. I practically can't speak English so that didn't help (I moved from a Thai school). It also didn't help that my younger and older siblings were attractive. This continued for a few years until the summer I turned 15 when puberty hit me like a truck. Wouldn't say I immediately became hot af, but after summer people started to approach me and I eventually became one of the popular kids. Now in uni, I'm doing really well socially, I've got girls and shits and I wanna say it because of my improved social skills or whatever qualities I've got, but deep down I know that if I never had that glow up I wouldn't be where I am today.
Looks matter not just for humans but inanimate objects, we gravitate towards what looks good and we judge by design. Product with the same ingredients can be priced differently just by how they're packaged and presented. Wish it was different, wish we looked beyond outward appearances more often
I can definitely relate to this. I have two siblings who would both easily be considered above average in their looks. They're social, confident and healthy. Even my mother tells them they look good often and if she does so for me it always feels like pity. I'm not as lucky as them. I have a lot of health issues, terrible hair, bad skin, crooked teeth, a receded jawline, a neck hump and more. I've never been told I'm ugly to my face but I can't imagine anyone not thinking I am. I can't even stand looking at myself in the mirror, avoid having my picture taken and my self-esteem is nonexistent. I know I'll never be beautiful but I hope I can eventually improve a few of these unfortunate attributes so I can at least smile at someone and not be ashamed... 😔
Beauty is absolutely important. We live in world enamored by form, rather than by substance. Your looks holds the key to having different social experiences. Too many people who are on the shitty end of the look scale probably live a good portion if not the entirety of their lives in constant suspicion of "did the negative experience happen because I somehow "deserved it" or because I am not physically attractive - THEREFORE HAS NO SOCIAL CAPITAL? This channel is great, and serves as a antidote of the constant gaslighting that society perpetrates against the misforunates.
The trouble with being beautiful is that people are interested in your looks and not who you are. You can't trust anyone, they are just being nice to get romance. It's like having a lot of money, you get false friends and don't know who is really sincere and who isn't.
Yes but it's very common for people to be exploited over features other than looks and money, so it's probably best to be good looking and learn how to protect yourself a little bit while having the option to tone down your looks anytime you want.
Since last year I have had a genioplasty, a rhinoplasty , Botox in my masseters, lip filler and I'm currently on braces. Nobody has guessed I have had work done because the differences are subtle but if you put two photos of myself before and after you can notice them. Even though I'm not top tier and I'm more towards average pretty I can see how people especially men are treating me differently than before. Getting prettier than before should be something to cherish but also a reminder to not treat others the way we were once treated, to be humble and to start seeing others, including ourselves, beyond our physical appearance.
I can confirm with absolute certainty, people will be a lot nicer to you if you are attractive. When I was young, not only was dating very easy but almost everyone was really nice (males and females both were really nice to me). Now that I’m much older and am ugly, most everyone treats me completely different. Even basic niceness is increasingly more and more uncommon.
Looks matter a lot. When I was in College my Parents remember my Friends who were pretty, even after 20 years. They just don't remember my below average looking Friends even though I was close to them and they are still friends with me.
My favorite was my girlfriend, who was considered extremely attractive, was always able to say what was truly on her mind, even if it insulted someone, were as I, only attractive, would be considered a bitch if I said some of the things she said. LOL. Always blew my mind at the stupidity of it all.
when i was overweight nobody didn't want to say hi to me but as soon as i loss weight with lean muscle gains almost everybody in my ghetto neighborhood gotten alot friendlier towards me offering me free food and getting alots of compliments on social media
People tend to only look at this from One perspective. If you are too attractive. People will se you as threat to Them. Its much easier to become someones friend of they can relate to you not have to worry about you stealing their partner or friend circle. Its a Common strategy not to have better options around you when youre clubbing etc.
(My experience) The only time me being ugly was a good thing was in high school. Back in high school (full boarding), i was roommate with this girl who is considered as one of the prettiest among us. God, she was harassed so badly at that time. Male students want to flirt, while female seniors was so jealous and kept bullying her under the disguise of "no dating in school" rule. To make it worse, it was quite a reputable school, so when she told her parents that she wanted to switch school, her parents refused to do so. All the pretty junior girls had to walk in thin lines, because the female seniors was such a jealous b1tch back then.
this video's kinda refreshing. a lot of other ones that talk about the concept of "pretty privilege" start out as great analysis's but in the end, they kinda minimize its impact, chalk it up to lack of confidence as if everything about attractiveness is within a person's inner locus of control, or they just try to counter-argue with "being pretty has disadvantages too" as if people don't already know that.
I feel like I need to put this out there to help at least someone feel a little better about all of this. I used to work in a grocery store and there was this coworker that I really liked. His looks were definitely not what society would consider attractive. He was kind of overweight and needed some self-grooming. His hair was also thinning if I remember right. But he was just so charismatic, funny, nice, and just overall had a great personality. I would have dated him. I remember thinking that his looks really were not great but I just loved his personality so much, It was a 10/10. I really think that the way you present yourself has a lot to do with if people are attracted to you. He didn't come off as self-conscious at all. I'm learning this myself after being rejected by my ex. I've been putting more effort into my appearance and going out more and I find I gain more attention. I would consider myself average looking and then better looking when I put in the effort. But you know what, sometimes it is worth putting in the effort. I don't even spend a ton of money either but I know the money thing can vary for everyone. Also, I got a haircut and my confidence went up a considerable amount. Maybe it has to do with the more time you put into your looks, the more confident you'll be because you think, oh I just spent an hour getting ready, I must look at least somewhat nice. Idk, this whole attractiveness thing is so muddy and complex sometimes. But honestly, I truly think being confident and exerting that confidence can really help. I know, however, that this can be hard to do after being treated like the girl in the video. Typing this out made my head hurt lol. I also went through all the comments and then stared at some selfies I've taken to analyze my looks once again. If your doing this right now too, maybe take a break and watch something fun, for real, this attractiveness thing is exhausting.
i agree, tbh it just seems like people are upset because social media stigmatizes more, if we all quit one day and just went outside, we would think about having people by our side to enjoy life, not how beautiful person next to me is, for the privilige of sharing life with them... this comment section is so full of self pity
This is so true 😕 I lost 15 pounds, had nose and lip filler and now everyone open doors for me, respect my opinion more, talk to me nicely etc. Before, when I was out with good looking friends everyone ignored me and talked only to my friends or flirted with them or went out of their way to help them out while ignoring me. Even now when I am with friends that are thinner or better looking than me people will still ignore me and speak mostly to that friend. Is insane to me because I always treated people nicely no matter on the looks. Hard to admit but I was even a little bit nicer towards uglier people because I felt sorry for them . When I share my experience with pretty privilege people tell me that it was a confidence issue instead of lack of beauty however I am sure it is not because I was pretty confident back then and sociable but people would still ignored me unless I went out of my way to look extra good with makeup and clothes.
I am on the average range of attractiveness but I can relate to this a lot. Everyone tells you to love/accept the way you look but the reality is that beauty standards do exist and they do affect how people are treated I admire people that are average or below average that are content with their looks but that's just not me and ik that's vain but it's just reality... Side note: I get mad at people that always change their features with makeup (eg: always make their nose look smaller) and then go judging people that do the same but with surgery. Both people are unhappy with their looks, but one person decided to make the change. Honestly, it's probably jealousy or something..
this is so real... I weighted 26 pounds more than I do now when I was a high school student. it was like I had to prove that I was a cool person to have friends and yet, some people would be mean to me for free, especially men. when I lost weight, things suddenly changed? everyone would be nice, and I'd see the same type of dudes that would judge me by my looks treating me oh-so-well. it really made me have trust issues.
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 mocking my appearance, making jokes from time to time and some pranks. some people wouldn't say anything, but it was visible that they'd treat others differently.
When I was in 6th grade a kid that sat across me was ranking all the girls from the prettiest to the ugliest. I was 3rd last. Although at least I wasn’t the last I’m basically still at the bottom of the barrel. My self esteem is at the floor. At least I don’t have a “everyone thinks I’m pretty or all guys want me” mentality.
Rejection truly is shitty. I remember back in 7th grade, we were at a trip, and a classmate was talking with his friends, he says "for money I would even kiss [my name] *laughing*" (don't remember the exact words, but he was clearly meaning how "disgusting" I was). Knowing I wasn't the most unpopular girl in my class (an another girl was bullied so no attention was given to me) it was quite a shock since I didn't know how unattractive I was. Hope you'll get better, at least we have some way to change our look like make up if needed :)
I'm also the ugly fat girl that no one wants, I've been bullied and have no friends. So in highschool, I tried to be good at my educational skill instead on my looks so at least I didn't get invisible. But when I'm in university, I really couldn't keep up with the education. And back then I look very nerdy, fat and ugly. So my classmate treat very bad, my opinion were never heardy on any discussion. So I dropped out of univeristy, and have a break for 2 years. Where I workout to lose weight and better my skill. So in my new universty, I looked much better even though I'm not a very attractive person; I receive different treatment. People listen to my opinion, a lot of guys wanted to be close to me. Looks really does matter
This happened to me when I got all my teeth pulled and got a new smile with medium quality dentures. It changed the musculoskeletal structure of my face, jaw and even profile. This was six years ago and people finally noticed me. It made me cry because growing up people tried to make me feel better by telling me I'm beautiful (family and friends) but I knew they were lying when in adulthood that same family rejected me and became envious when I got my glow-up and simultaneously I received daily attention from strangers and even kids! Kids are honest so if kids are stopping in the middle of the mall to come over and tell you you're beautiful you can take that to the bank. I'm grateful but sad because the procedure was paid for by my husband and it costs 7 thousand dollars. Most people don't have that money to give to someone. So when people compliment me and they appear sad I take my teeth out to show them that I am not perfect and without money nobody can be perfect either. Basically to say "you're not ugly you're just poor."
