This happened to me with my first husband, he ordered numerous credit cards maxed them out then walked out on me and left me with a 4 year old and 1 year old. The smartest thing you can do is marry correctly. 😅 I wised up and married correctly the 2nd time and we are debt free and living well.
@@letsbefreeletsbefree7183, that’s ignorant. My ex absolutely destroyed the rental property we were in. He was abusive and I finally found the courage to leave him but after I did that he moved his stoner friends in and they destroyed the place. Because I was on the lease and he had no money, the landlord came after me. Other than that I had medical bills that needed to be paid off, I never had any CCs, car payments or anything (my dad always taught me to pay cash), but I told myself that I’m not bringing my debt into another relationship because it’s not fair. I had 2 kids and was paying all the bills on my own and snowballing all my debt all the way down to zero, no government assistance or literally any help! That’s when the universe brought me my amazing husband now! So it’s pretty small minded of you to think single moms can’t take on debt on their own. They can kill it if they don’t play the victim card and “gazelle” it for about a year or so. Maybe you should change your thinking.
True, but it is unfortunately easy to do, and what is she supposed to do about it now? Get him prosecuted for fraud? Docusign is making it even easier. My ex- opened joint credit cards I didn't know about, for example, then took large cash advances off of them. And what do you do when the parent of your children does this to you? They may have thought it was no big deal, or that they were somehow justified in doing it since you are their spouse, but obviously it is a big deal.
To be fair to her, my ex-spouse seemed to have no problem taking on debt without me even knowing and signing my name on the documents, which I understand is forgery. This is likely a real problem for a number of people, not just this caller.
Yep. My ex husband (we were in process of a divorce) traded in our jointly titled car with I guess someone's signature but it sure wasn't mine! In my state that's a misdemeanor.
Women, whether you work inside or outside the home (or both), ALWAYS be involved in the family financial planning and budgeting. If your sweetie passes you're gonna be SOL if you have no idea what's going on. This is a joint responsibility to each other and to the health of the relationship and your guys' future.
Excellent advice. I prepared two documents for my wife. One document says where everything is, how much it is, why it is, and how to manage it in broad terms and with some important specifics. The other document says how to access each account.
Thank you for your kind words. I am doing one other thing also, which is to try to *simplify* things. So, I am closing some accounts and moving around money to reduce the number of companies she would have to deal with.
@@curiouscat3384that is too presumptuous. There are many men and women who allow the person who is better at finances to manage them. Sometimes they were wrong.
well not necessarily. She could have him arrested for fraud. Of course Dave isn't going to recommend something that severe if they can work out the lack of trust
Its true what Dave Ramsey said you cant even sell your home 🏠 without your spouse's permission dead or alive.....my Dad was selling his home with new wife after my Mom passed away 38 years ago (my mom & dad was on deed) & I had to get my mom's death certificate to prove my dad was not trying to sell their home without her knowledge ....Momma was still ruling from heaven 😊😊😊
Indiana does not have spousal requirements for mortgage loans like most states do. It is quite possible and legal for him to get the HELOC without her as long as the house is titled only in his name. This is why you should always have your name on the title of the home you live in.
This woman has had ZERO FREAKING CLUE what’s been going on for the last 15 years and now she’s about fourteen seconds into attending Dave Ramsey stuff and she’s all hopped up on it and worked up but hasn’t actually learned anything about the financial situation yet. She has no idea what’s happened when or what’s where.
Yeah I get the vibe that she's bored and looking for some drama. The way she called up Dave was almost like she was getting ready to talk to NYSC or the Backstreet boys.
@@jacksonbilly9979 it's possible the wife was deceived. "Sweet" hubby may have forged her signature. It's not hard to do, especially now that e-signatures are often accepted even for loans like this.
That’s the okay I give when someone says something totally wrong and I’m trying not to argue🤣🤣🤣🤣 Could he do that if her name wasn’t on the house to begin with?
Divorce lawyer chiming in here. Spouses do forge signatures. It happens more frequently than you might think. Or they get a signature while wife is changing a diaper or rushing out the door to pick up kids or similarly calculated timing situation and do not disclose what it is really for or mislead about the true extent of the debt that it is going to result in. Or, as in the case of these HELOC loans - wife has no idea how big that debt might get or what it might put at risk. Here in Texas spouses are fiduciaries. And what this guy did by getting her signature one way or another without full and complete disclosure and continued updating of the disclosure of what is going on - you have potential fraud. This is Financial Infidelity. #2 cause of divorce. Financial Infidelity. I love what Dave says about spouses making decisions to together and discussing and disclosing finances together. It’s not only good financial advice, good relationship advice, it’s consistent with the fact that spouses are fiduciaries (at least in Texas). I tell clients to follow that all the time to avoid the #2 cause of divorce.
People don't understand "financial abuse" unless it happens to them... or unless they're divorce lawyers. This woman said her husband refuses to discuss the debt with her. He sounds like my ex. I don't think she's lying.
My Husband 's Step Dad was a Realtor stole my husband's house, refinanced and took $400,000, or so in equity! House went into foreclosure too .... Real scum bag! He lost all his houses... Died broke and alone .. KARMA, baby
The house could be in the husband's name, or his before marriage. Let me get this straight, she's only upset now that the dividends have dried up. The husband doesn't spend money on himself according to her, so who was on the spending spree while the money was pouring in?
Dave's advice is spot on. Oh and I love how she comes to his defense for the stupidity...and did this guy forged her signature? Something is fishy here...either she is lying or her husband fudged the paperwork...and if that's the case than he isn't exactly what I'd call "trustworthy".
Correct me if I’m wrong, but if he owned house before they got together, he can do a heloc without her signature. I don’t think she was asked if she was on the original loan or title.
If her name is on the deed of the house then either he signed her name and committed fraud or (the more likely answer) she signed it and doesn’t remember. Would love to hear his side on the call.
You can buy a house and have the home in only your name even if you are married, and depending on the state you are in (Indiana does not require the spouse to sign on any mortgage paperwork) it’s possible to do it without the spouse knowing. In Oklahoma, the spouse needs to sign mortgage paperwork on a home even if they are not on the loan. Indiana does not have that requirement so the husband could do the loan without her.
Is it possible that her name is not on the deed to the house? Would that make it easier for him to take a home equity loan on the house without her consent?
My father in law had a gambling problem and took out a line of credit at the bank with out my mil signature. She had to do things to protect herself financially. Not sure what she did. They are both deceased now but I know there are ways they can do this. I remember once he took the grandsons to Los Vegas and the grandsons hid his gambling money. He was soo mad.
If you signed it without understanding it, that's partially on you. "I didn't know that" does not excuse responsibility. If you did not sign it, then he committed fraud and you have a bigger problem on your hands.
Dave says, "Why did you get into this?" I don't think Dave understands that many women find themselves in similar situations. Many times men do what exactly they want in spite of the wife saying I don't think this is a good idea." My husband took an early retirement at age 55 when I knew it was a HUGE mistake. He said "Ive worked 32 years and I am done." We did not have the suitable retirement savings yet, (second marriage loss of assets) he had not yet earned the required 40 credits and even our meger costs of living rurally left us short. Because my husband is bad with finances, I manage the money, pay the bills and make most of the financial decisions. We do sit down once a month to reconcile our bills/finances so I KNEW it was a huge mistake. He would not listen to me and did exactly what he wanted. After 4-5 years we could not make it on the meager retirement income we had coming in. Then we had an UNEXPECTED $10,000 assessment for a county drain extension (we lived rurally without curbs and gutters and had high ground water flooding) We did not have $10,000 in cash for this assessment and I did not want to wait until we went to sell because I knew 1) This was being heavily taxed and 2) The amount owed would decrease our selling amount and leave us with not enough to go forwards to buy another home. So, we both went back to work. We both came out of retirement. This was 2008 during the big depression and no one was hiring. We both took two part time $10.00 an hour jobs and it took us over three years to earn the $10,000 we needed to pay off this assessment. The long story sort here, is than many men are stubborn and insistent and do exactly what they want in spite of their wives' reservations. I totally feel for this woman.
I tell women all the time "men do what they want" and if you think you are getting your way and you think your are both on the same page, you will pay a price if he is not. I don't want to male bash here but if you want to share your life with a man, just come to terms with the way they see the world and the things they do. I am sure there is a laundry list of the way we see the world and the things we do that are maddening to them. Right now my husband has his investments and I have mine but of course we will share them when we retire. I just see is as being diversified. Who knows what investments will do better in this crazy world.
If her name isn’t on the deed and loan they would not require her to sign the heloc. Seems disingenuous to present it to this woman that her husband likely defrauded her 15 years ago for something she clearly has been aware of before during and after it happened.
In most states even if one spouse's name is on the deed the fact that they are married would trigger a question from the lender. In the midst of a divorce my soon-to-be ex applied for a HELOC on the house we had lived in for 20 years (the deed was only in his name) and they required a signature from me giving up my rights in the home before they would approve the loan.
@@kctexan I can’t speak for all states but in Maryland when you buy something or get an loan or refi etc all they do is ask why wife isn’t on it and if the reason is because she’s not on the deed and the loan then there’s no problem . It doesn’t really make sense that someone would sign for a heloc for a property that they don’t own or have rights to . I’m not even sure that would be wise for the lender to have different parties committing to the heloc than the underlying loan . My wife and I are not on any of our deeds together because we wanted to maximize the amount of conventional financing that we were able to get . I know that isn’t a plan that fits the Ramsey mold but I’m just saying we have done many different mortgages of all types and I never sign hers and she never signs mine.
@@newp848 Yes. When we bought our first house, my name was put in the deed but not the mortgage because my husband's credit score is better. This way we got a better interest rate.
It seems that they aren't on the same page on debt. He doesn't care about carrying debt and she does, and that's just a lack of unity and shared direction.
Did she say her husband makes $10k a month? If so, something is seriously missing from this story. My wife and I are easily paying for our $200k house, and we only make $6k a month together.
It's pretty murky. Through her tears, she said the husband paid off the house. Sounds like a 287K or so HELOC, should be manageable on the income they seem to have.
She said we, not he. I guess he took out a heloc, but the company is in the red and not paying dividends. Most people pay their monthly payments with investment proceeds. If there are no dividends coming in, it might be a strain on their finances. From what I gather at the beginning, she feels bitter for having to pay for his debt, since she did not agree with it. Remember, in marriage, it's all we. That includes debt.
@Matthew Gardner Exactly, and she doesn't know how many shares he owns. They are kind of assuming he is a minority owner. I would have suggested she first sit down with him and learn about his business and why he doesn't want to sell or believes he can't. She seems to be out of the loop on any of this and maybe telling a half truth of what is really going on.
@S Blijheid I don't know, I didn't hear a we. Maybe, but still, if they are, together, making $10k, then a $200k house payment isn't causing this stress. Also, she stated it was his family business that sold where they got the money in the first place. Again, it isn't adding up. I am not taking either side because it is a 1 sided story. I am just saying it doesn't make sense the way she told it.
Let me get this straight…HE PAID OFF THE HOUSE WITH MONEY FROM SALE OF HIS FAMILY BUSINESS. Then he decides he wants to pull that money(HELOC) out because of some dividend opportunities which isn’t working out. He’s currently earning 10k per month. I’m assuming she stays at home. She had no problem when things were going well. Now she’s calling some other man (Dave) to talk down on her own husband. What a fair weather wife! This man is taking risk to advance his family. She loves the lifestyle he’s providing, not the man! SHAME ON HER!
My spouse’s dad is a gambling addict. Dad didn’t pay taxes and lost everything during retirement to the IRS. I don’t know how his wife stayed with him. I wouldn’t have. She died this year and we refuse to give him money. Awful man. So dishonest.
My husband asked me to take a 200k loan last year. Said No and told him the consequences if he force me and doesnt find himself a job. Now he is working 3 jobs and he made over 200k since then. It depends on how much we value our relationship. My respect for him increased.
@@pmr259ounds like you threatened to ruin his life if he doesn't work 89 hours a week so you can sit in your butt drinking boxes of wine and popping Xanax "watching your 25 year old kid that still stays home, so uou can call yourself a stay at home mom" You sound like an awful wife, person, and mother. I feel terrible for your family to be stuck with such a person as you
She said that their house was paid off before they did this HELOC. But then they received a bunch of money and, as she said, they paid off their house. So what came first? Sounds like the HELOC was there before the house was paid off and that's not what she said in the beginning. Sounds like maybe she needs to put pen to paper and sit down with this guy and figure out just where the hell everything is going.
You think? I had the unfortunate experience of having a spouse who felt fine signing papers "for me" without me even knowing. If she is sure she didn't sign papers, then consider the possibility that she didn't sign any.
Modern society has taught women nothing is ever their fault. I’d be willing to bet she signed the HELOC and doesn’t remember or is flat out lying here. However…..if he did sign her name that’s fraud and can press charges.
The husband was fully capable of getting the HELOC on the home with her involvement at all. Dave is assuming non borrowing spouse rules, which a majority of states have but Indiana does not. As long as her name was not on the title, he could have legally gotten the HELOC on his own. This is why you should ALWAYS have your name on the title of the house.
She sounds confused about whether she signed a legal document or not 15 years ago. It’s weird.Her husband sounds like he does not care about how she feels. Or the house they live in together.They need marriage help.
Maybe Jade can provide more info without referring directly to this couple, but in a "hypothetical" situation. I sure there is information as to "who name was on the deed. And if she sign the document." Hypothetically of course. I am also wondering if the couple is actually been married for 15 years? They have such young children for being together for 15 years. Just curious.
just wondering if she didn't sign the heloc because she's not on the title of the home? would that make a difference regarding her saying she didn't sign it?
The pause Ramsey had, as he tries to realize the husband committed fraud and its out of his wheelhouse. I am surprised Ramsey was so surprised. My grandma once sold my car; and I never signed personally. Pretty sure she or my dad sold
I don't really care what the details are, they have a marriage problem here not a money problem. We're only hearing her side of the story but clearly they are both very upset and not able to talk about the problem. They likely need to go to marriage counseling at this point.
😢 my note to her is also please consider your children because I'm on this child I'm an adult now but I'm the daughter of a man who did this very thing it hurt her husband sound like you did and now both of my parents have deceased and I'm faced with a situation of the reverse mortgage and worried that I'll lose the family home so it doesn't just affect the people who signed the paper can affect future people who aren't even I didn't even know my dad had done this until way too late and now my mother of course has died recently and you know so it affect future Generations not just you know
Are we just going to ignore the fact he made a million off this HELOC? She said he paid off the house and then reinvested $500k. Wonder what the balance on the mortgage was? This sounds like a win overall.
Wow, I hope this lady convinces hubby to sell and then pay off the house. Once that's done, it's time to find a good divorce attorney. He totally doesn't respect her input or feelings. If my husband ever signed my name to something without my consent or knowledge, it's a breach of trust, and that's the END. I would take him for every cent.
Dave's wrong on heloc. Ours is paid off now, but ours was only in my husband's name because i didn't want it. It's definitely possible to get a helpc with only one of parties on the deed.
You may not have signed the Note or Agreement, but you definitely would’ve signed a Right To Cancel and the Mortgage security instrument as an owner of the property. You’re not on the hook for payments, but you are signing that you agree that the bank could possibly foreclose.
@@spencershaw4419 Depends on what state you live in. You’re describing the require of the non-borrowing spouse states like Oklahoma have. Indiana has no such requirement.
i dont believe any of the business ventures business. i would want copies of all of it and i would press the issue. take to a lawyer and see what it all means. i call BS on the husband. make him prove it to you
She calling for permission for divorce. No accountability. She there for the good times first stumble they get going absolutely zero accountability. Ringing endorsement for marriage.
What are you talking about? “There for the good times.” He took out a massive loan in her name while she was home working 24/7 to raise his kids. And I can guarantee this isn’t the first stumble if he’s lying about the big stuff. I’m against divorce but your assumptions are strange.
Your also making assumptions. Dumb to argue about something you only have 3% of the facts on. It's even dumber to do it over the internet with a random person.
@@cathyl7944 Again zero accountability. She's looking to bail because her meal ticket isn't working out as well as she wanted. She made because she can't get the house in divorce. Her vows are only in good times only for richer. This woman is allergic to accountability.
Dude, nobody said anything about divorce - you’re reading your own issues into this. Running a negative cashflow out of household finances to pay for a business loan just makes her feel uneasy. It is not unusual for a spouse to disagree or feel uneasy about a decision, without questioning the entire relationship. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract of convenience.
So the house was paid off. He took a loan on the house, without her knowing? Then he got money after the business was sold. Then paid off the house. If she said he paid off the house, how to the still owe on it? Something is not adding up.
@Jimmy McGill That's the initial mortgage. I suspect this guy looks at his house as a piggy bank. That's what many people did who lost their houses in the '08 crisis.
Offering 'advice' when the details of the situation (house value, other assets eg. retirement fund, value of the company shares etc) are not provided seems inappropriate. Probably why Ramsey is a 'financial coach' and not a licensed financial adviser.
I think a lot of these comments are missing a key point. If we leave the circumstances of the borrowing aside, this couple had FIFTEEN years to pay down 300 grand of mortgage debt. Lots of people are in the same situation. What have they been doing?
She asked her HUSBAND, she didn't talk to investor relations. I'd try to sell without telling him, too, since he did the same to get the money in the first place. My thoughts might be the reason I'm single, though, too. (!) Anyhow, I agree with Dave.
Lmao. It’s 2023… we are not getting married anymore. Well I’m not. Not a fan of a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness. I’m not picking up where your momma left off. And I’m not making excuses for a grown man. Sorry sis. Hope you come out on top of this.
He sounds like my husband. We are getting a divorce because I found out he is in debt even though I was giving him a monthly payment to live rent and bill free. He has nothing in his name after losing 120K investment.
She didn’t discuss how it made her feel unsafe with her husband. When asked if she communicated how upset she was her answer was that she started crying. Be an adult and have the hard conversation with your spouse. If he’s a “kind man” he will listen. If he’s what Dave assumed he is, he won’t give a wooden nickel and is a jack wagon. Not a fan of Dave’s instant judgment on the husband without knowing the guys story.
