If He Pulls Away, This Will Make Him Chase You 

Really enjoying reading all your comments this Sunday everyone. I’m curious, now that you’ve watched the video, what is an excuse someone gave you at some point about why they couldn’t give more to the relationship, that you started co-opting and using when talking to friends and family to justify why things were the way they were between the two of you? What logic did you start parroting that wasn’t actually authentically YOU, but you buying into someone else’s logic at the time? Leave me a comment and let me know.

If he pulls away, let him go.

With the right person you can do nothing wrong and with the wrong person you can do nothing right. If he pulls away. Let him. Don't chase someone who does not appreciate you in the first place.

Lets be honest, vulnerability can be draining and you can't be like this with every guy who's hot and cold with you. It's just not healthy. You owe it to yourself to know when to leave the table when you don't agree with whats being served.

Also, the wrong person won't pursue you no matter what you do. Simply because of perceived incompatibility or lack of attraction or a psychological issue on their part. Not every relationship has to work 🤷🏻‍♀️

We don’t always have to just let go. Sometimes we have to make an effort and if they still don’t meet us where we want them to be then it’s time to give up and choose ourselves. ❤

It's ALL excuses! If they REALLY liked each other, the excuses would stop and they would BOTH MAKE time for each other.

The thing that i picked from the video is, if you are important to him, he will make the time for you else he will find an excuse, a woman making the extra effort devalues herself immediately

I think thats great advice. Being vulnerable does not mean being weak, it means having the guts to actually say what you are looking for and if the other person doesnt reciprocate, then at least you didnt play games and were totally straight about it. Much easier to move on after that without wondering ‘what if’ because you said what you wanted to say.

If he pulls away , I will run away further in the opposite direction

Life is too fucking short to play dumb cat & mouse games with guys. I've dealt with guys like this who is unsure about me or about what he wants in general. Went for 2-3 great dates with future talk and all that shit but in the end he gets cold feet since it gets too real then decide to stay casual/friends with me because he's unsure if he's ready for serious relationship. I decided to moved on and now I'm in amazing relationship but this past dude still try to show up begging for me to come back / date him & gave him another chance. Told him that he had his chance and he blew it himself. I'm glad it happened because I'm happier than ever with my current relationship :) never stay with someone who isnt sure about being with you.

Being honest, for me can be hard to distinguish if I'm being vulnerable or needy. Saying "a little disapointed I did't hear from you" would be hard. I would probably pretend I didn't care he disapperead. Because in my mind, people find time when they want, so why insisting on someone who doesn't care that much? I would like to learn more about being vulnerable and assertive whithout feeling bad about myself.

We live in a world of technology. No matter where we are in the world, we can connect. If you’re interested there is ALWAYS time for a text, phone call, FaceTime etc.

No one's THAT busy to not text at least once a day. I was literally working 8 hours every day and partying with my friends in a foreign country last week and I still managed to send a couple of texts a day.

I'm genuinely not looking for a relationship... but if I happen to meet someone that I feel is a great match for me and worth giving a chance to then I would definitely consider it. Actively looking for a relationship is one of the most draining things in the world

I am in this in-between stage right now. I patiently wait for the guy I really like to reach out again and then I let him know how glad I am to hear from him (positive praise instead of a shaming tone). However, I only wait a couple days to hear from a guy! If he’s blown me off for a several days or not set up another date, I’m clearly not important in his mind. So,…he’s out. I won’t stop dating other guys until he’s approached the idea that he wants to be exclusive. Otherwise, I’m still free, waiting for the right guy to see what he has.

I personally don’t think the guy is interested. She should either keep it casual or break it off, period. Why remind yourself every other week/month (when you see him) “this is not going anywhere.” ?

I had been honest and vulnerable and showed my needs confidently for past 2 years . Only I've got as a result guys actually throwing me into situationships, and me just thanking them and leaving. I am done dating, from now on I decided just live my life. Honestly I am tired and I don't believe that anyone can actually be serious with me. I gave up dating at age 30. So sad.

You make such a good point in this video: when people adopt someone else's excuses to describe the situation. It can lead to letting someone get away with all sorts of things... not just being distant, but even more harmful things. One of my friends was dating a guy who told her "I want to keep our relationship a secret to protect it" and she adopted that like "oh our relationship is so new and people might judge so WE'RE keeping it private." But what that really led to was him isolating her from her friends and support networks, and cheating on her with 5 other girls (many of whom also thought they were just "keeping their relationship private").

If he pulls away, stay away from him and let him live his life

If that guy was interested in the woman they would of made her a priority not an option. Dating is hard enough without having someone that they think you aren't important or enough for them. Thank you Matthew for your always honest insights to dating and relationships. Another stellar video! 🙌🙌👏👏👏

If they didn't contact us on the weekend than show up come Monday its because they were with someone else over the weekend. They know we were disappointed. It's boosts their ego to hear us say it but they don't actually care or they would've reached out.

Oh Matthew, you are a Godsend. I had this exact situation come up this morning and I didn't know how to reply without sounding "needy" or a "doormat" OR ghosting because I wanted to "show him". This helps me reply with respect for myself and what I want and put me in the drivers seat over my needs.

When he asks me questions, I tell him I'd love for him to ask me over the call. It's up to him now because in his court! I've had enough of texting! BORING!

This my very personal opinion but I feel like if it’s the right person you’ll know right away it’s who you want to be in a relationship. You won’t go through all of these ups and downs in the beginning or feel like you have to follow these ‘steps’ so to speak for it to evolve into a relationship. You know when you know as my mom likes to say.

If he’d wanted to, he would.

When he's pulling a way give hime a huge push!!!

Being vulnerable with someone emotionally unavailable sounds like a bad idea and trying to get him to see your humanity is also a huge red flag. Men prioritize what they want like crazy. No "making" a chase required. He doesn't care. Be honest with yourself and move along.

I loved the fact that you're giving templates of how some messages can be phrased! It actually makes me realize that sometimes when using such messages, I was gaslighted into thinking that my message was too much but seeing such a message from you makes me realize that I drew the wrong conclusion. There was nothing wrong with the message, all I had to do was to realize that the person I sent it to was not someone I was compatible with.

men hate to hear the word disappointed and will see you as desperate

A very powerful video Matthew. Thank you! I have now discovered the "we concept", that you unmasked that truly interferes quite often with the new relationship where "we" is not actually yet even established. Your videos have helped me much to express myself sincerely and openly. And oh my God, it gives me so much strength and confidence. Saying what you feel is such a force to reckon with! And you are so right that it makes us more human. Thanks a lot!

We were texting for two months and he just stopped communication. He eventually asked me out on a date weeks before but always flaked when it came to actually planning and kept saying we would meet up one day. One day I had enough and just texted asking if anything is going to progress past the talking stage and he has not replied. I can see now he was just stringing me along.

Excellent point!!!!! I think too it is SO difficult to locate/find someone that we have feelings for in the first place so that when it does happen we make excuses and close our eyes to red flags unfortunately.

Your videos help me feel safe to face my vulnerability. You’re always so warm and gentle and it helps. Thank you so much.

Wow. It's kindda mind-blowing that someone has the exact same issue as i do, at the same time. My one and a half month guy has been very disinterested lately, and no communication for bit over a week. He was genuinely busy (we work in different units of same entity)... But that doesn't mean i forgive and forget all the tears i cried 😑. Something needs to change. Peace to all ✌️

Met a guy, he was only interested in one thing, we discussed it. After I clearly thought about the fact that that doesn’t reconciled with my needs, I stopped and remained friends. Super crushing approach, like going cold turkey!!! Brutal. But it had to be done, everyone gets to choose, he also has that right and I need to accept it without attitude.

Your advice is always so comforting and reassuring while simultaneously being so helpful

The fact that Audrey is in the thumbnail makes my heart so happy! Love seeing your relationship unfold in those little ways ❤

I love the vulnerability filter breakdown! Brilliant! I should do this more with my self- admitting to what I really feel and want, unapologetically.

The exact same thing happened to me, his schedule is too packed and he said “it makes me miss you more when I talk to you” so he said he couldn’t talk as much as usual, and we already down to only talk once a week. Total bs😂

We in a Wild West dating scene, Matthew. We’ve been vulnerable with men as many times as we got hurt. We tried it all.

She may hurt now but boy will she be hurting 10 years down the road if this continues

I was begging last year because he dumped me and blocked my number. He unblocked me on 9/27/2021. And he showed up at my new gym on 12/14/2021 and he started to chase me again. He was like “hey how are you? Can I work out here with you? I said “hey it’s good to see you, I’ll talk to you later”, and I never went back to that gym. So recently back in 8/4/2022.. he showed up at my new gym again and I acted cold to him. He regret losing me 😂…

Your videos are getting better and better all the time.. you are building the story the right way, you are funny, intelligent and you really care, it shows, thank you very much for your effort

All teaching aside. Matthew, how do you remain to never age. i'm 26 now and i've been watching you since i was 12 years old. i just thought that was insane. i can tell you're a man that definitely loves himself and definitely cares for his body on a daily. just a compliment. lovely teaching and thank you for the videos. ❤

Matthew you are such a down to earth, kind and sweet man. I hope you've had a great start for 2023! :) May your creativity expands as well as your willingness to help people out there.

It is supposed to be like a best friend, you catch up where you were last time, no matter how much time has passed. You use the schedule to feed the relationship.

I decided to pull away because she would never text first or take days to respond even though she would watch my stories and still not respond after I texted to make plans. It’s unfortunate cause the 2 dates we went on were great and the chemistry was definitely there. Instead of just communicating effectively we just resort to ghosting in this day in age. This whole situation really messed with my mental state. I know my worth and I’m definitely worth more than this. My questions is: Should I remove her from social media?

That was me for 1 year and a half. You helped me let this person go and also move on…

Thank you 4 sharing, what I really like about what you teach is, that it is so respectful and about underlying values!🌸I suggest your channel a lot to people, who are unhappy in their love life!👍🏻

I feel like a keyword in this is "deepen" a relationship. Deepen could mean a lot of things, but I bet the translation is, "get more commitment or buy-in from the other person." I could maybe even be put, "I like the feelings this guy has brought to my life. The feelings of excitement for what could be. The feeling of being desired, of romance, of being sought after, of my positive traits being recognized. In fact I've already formed a bit of an addiction to these feelings, and this makes me worry about losing access to this drug. How do I get the supply to sign an exclusivity contract? When he's doesn't seem to be trying to sign one with me" If you want to deepen any other relationships in your life, family relationships. co-workers, friends, etc, no one thinks of exclusivity commitment. They think of having deeper, more honest, and personal conversations, or sharing experiences, trying each other's hobbies, etc. I've had several relationships where I noticed pretty early on, the women were really pushing for commitment. I have no problem with commitment, but my focus is always, what I would consider the truer meaning of deepening a relationship, actually getting to know each other. I know Matthew has to keep the solution kind of nonspecific, so many people might be able to use it, but for me, the solution kind of feels inorganic. To me the issue wouldn't be her just not hearing from him, but him taking a long time to reply, since it would be weird if she was disappointed not to hear from him, if he was the last one to text. So what did she text him that he hadn't replied to? Ideally if they want this to go somewhere and have been texting for a month and a half, they're talking about deeper interests than just wondering what happened that weekend. Is he working on a project for work? Is he stressed or excited about it? What is happening with him and his family relationships, friendship relationships, hobbies, etc. With one woman I dated, who I really got along well with, at any given point we had at least two text conversations going on at the same time between us, because we had so many topics of interest between us. We'd be talking about work, books and shows, articles we'd read, things happening with us and our friends, our ideas and goals, all shooting back and forth. We never had to wonder about deepening the relationship, we just were. So to me it's less about how to hear from someone more, but instead more about why the topics of conversation aren't causing engaged responses. Letting someone know you're disappointed they didn't do something, might make them do it more, but my preferred way is to increase their excitement to do it. It's almost like sex. Let's say you text a guy you'd been dating for a while and have had sex with, and say, "Loved our time together this weekend", and he replies, "Me too, a little disappointed we didn't have sex though". Does learning you disappointed him, arouse a desire for sex with him? or does it kind of turn you off? I mean, there's either a reason you didn't have sex, like you'd had a fight or something, or him wanting to have sex that weekend was news to you, in which you're thinking, "well you could have given me a snuggle or kissed me on the neck or something. Something to show me what you wanted while exciting me to match your state of desire." Conversation is the same. "Hey, how was your weekend?" reply, "I had an amazing weekend! I'm excited to hear from you, I've been dying to know how (the big pitch), (your hiking trip), (the talk with your dad), went. Side note, if after he tells you how X thing went, he doesn't then ask you something, "but tell me what happened in your amazing weekend", or follow up on some previous conversation point from earlier texts.. or both; then dump his poor conversation skills have’n ass. If you have to carry the conversation alone, guess how much help you'll be getting from him if you're ever carrying his baby.

Don't be vulnerable with a person who is just not there for you. Your instincts is telling You already, this is not the one. Hear it. I am not with you in this one Matthew. I can be only vulnerable with someone who dares to asks...what is going on with me. If u push me away, I give you tw same energy back. If you ask, I will say the truth.

Hi Matthew, I know your channel and program are mostly for women, but I have recently been going through quite a painful rejection - and your videos has been helping me a lot. Thanks, cheers.

IMO If someone disappears during weekend it means he is in some relationship or mariage... Single person is available during weekends or at least keep in touch but definitely doesn't disappear completely.

He always talk on to the point no BS . Thank you Mathew for educating us

Wow I literally did this last night, glad to have reassurance that what I did was right 😊 you’re right, I’m someone who wants a real relationship, so I have to own up to it, so I can communicate my standards and boundaries

Really loving this, great work Matthew

Effective communication will make or break a relationship. TY for keeping it real with your words of wisdom ~ Much Appreciated 😎😘

I’m in a similar situation right now and I’ve been wanting to talk to him about it. This is a great way to ease into that. Thanks Matt!

MATTHEW HUSSEY has done it again! I love hearing content in many different facets because it helps reiterate standards and allows that vulnerability to come through early on so that time isn’t wasted. You constantly reaffirm to establish that we have a great time and a great life apart from the relationship we are starting or are currently in. This allows established ways we can be bold which prevents sooo much time being wasted. Feel more high value in the last two years than Im my whole life. Thank you!

This is truly amazing, so much to learn and I can't wait to put these things in my situation immediately!! Thank you Matthew

Such a timely video for me. Thank you!

You are helping me so much. I'm in the middle of all of this and feeling very vulnerable.

I ❤️ how he shows the actual Text example. I hope Matthew shows more videos with text examples

Thank you for this video, Matthew. Being vulnerable takes courage--the courage to risk being hurt again and again. But, I do believe that without a risk, there is no reward. Vulnerability creates the opportunity for great victory in relationships--for something real to be cultivated. This video really validated a recent experience I had. I remembered your advice about putting myself out there, and even though the relationship didn't end up where I wanted it to go, I am proud of myself for owning my needs and "keeping my side of the street clean." Would eventually love to see more content from you on relationship advice that moves past the initial stages. Thanks for all you do.

I LOVED this video! So insightful and practical. Thank you!

Thank you Matthew a lot for the free chapter and this video. I haven't had the feeling that I was agressive but I speak out straightforward when I want to communicate. I think it will be better To use your method

Such a quality video, I admire your work ethic Matthew. Beautiful masculine energy. Feels really good to watch.

That was beautifully genuine and meaty! Huge thanks!

jeez this is a bullet right in my head... why I keep getting in these relationships

Amazing video Matt, just what i needed to hear!! Thank you for your work, i appreciate it so much! 🙏👍💕

And what expect? Do we really think, we'll get an intensive love in return from a guy who's already in the beginning not really interested??!

This is books. The real life is quite different. Not all of men are as intelligent to understand this message and to respect that. Actually, the largest part aren't. My longlasting relationship started totally off the bookshelf advices and it lasts. The previous ones when I tried to listen to different coaches- didn't last.

Amen Amen Amen to this. So excellently stated. 💝

Omg! Thank you Matthew! I wish I had heard this information 9 months ago.

If I haven’t heard from them all weekend I’ve already moved onto a new man HAHAHA

Hey Matthew! Another lovely video of yours! Could you PLEASE make a video discussing "is he shy or not interested?" I am sure quite a lot of ladies have been troubled by this question.

You always make time for the things that are important to you! :)

Thank you Matt for all you post. The pattern I wish to change and release is the need to people please and then feel guilty if I do not. I need to release the guilt and that doing things for myself and not others is not selfish 🤗❤️😊

Captivated by your insights. Wonderful advice. You made me a subscriber😊. Looking forward to hearing more.

Thank you so much for this.

Amen Matthew. Love your deep decernment

Not the subject but I love your English! Not my mother lenguage so I really love when someone talks as clear/neat as you. Thanks for It.

such good advice! it makes so much sense now...

I have my first long distance relationship and he does have a busy schedule. So we text alot. I don't make any demands. I tell him about my day, I try to share cute personal stories so he can get to know me. If I don't hear back I don't stop telling him me and my day. I don't stop living my life because of this relationship. If he makes a demand or negative remark I turn his statement right back at him. If he responds like a child I ask him how old he is; that I don't want a relationship with a child or anyone who can't stand on there own two feet. I will get the silent treatment sometimes but I don't react to it. I either trust him or I don't. So whatever he wants to do with his anger is up to him. It's his, he owns it.

loving the new thumbnails, big ups Jamerson

Awesome video!!

I love how you get so rant-y at the end.

You are just brilliant Matthew ! Thank you for this

Your contents are awesome❤

Thank you so much ❤️

Books to read FEAST OF MEN & REFLECTIONS OF THE CURSE - journey of a woman's heart.. men high on narcissistic spectrum always use excuses.. one after another.. they want you hanging on for when 'they want' you...

So helpful! ❤️❤️

Happened to me recently. It got me confused, the first week we were okay. Miles and 7hours apart but we managed to talk simultaneously. A week later he became busy but would still message from time to time. Then on the 3rd week, he suddenly stopped. I'm not sure if I was vulnerable enough to trust him too soon and let go of my guard. It does hurt me but I think it's a two way street to work things out. I was actually willing to bend things but it just doesn't sit well with me that he can't give me a minute of his day, and the irony of it all is I'm a doctor for pete's sake 😅 I should be the one who's too busy 🤣🤣🤣 so yes it hurts but I have to move on 🤓

This video is everything 😩

I’m glad I show my humanity.

I'd lose interest in someone like that quickly...🤷🏼‍♀️ The world is full of wonderful men.

Thank you, learn so much

Amazing, this is hard enough as we are scared to be judged nowadays only because we clearly say what our desires are. ❤❤thank you Matthew 🙌

A good way to show vulnerability. I hope you post more of this.