I really appreciate that you often bring up the philosophical, meticulous and calculating sides of INFJs on this channel, because it's rarely mentioned in other places. It seems a lot of people only think of INFJs as sensitive people pleasers and diplomats. It makes sense, since our Fe is most visible, but we can be pretty smart, and we're fast learners when our Ni-Ti goes into overdrive. So thank you Nathan for bringing light to our introverted functions as well! Edit: not that smart since I can't spell apparently
Agree. The INFJ logical and calculating side is always overshadowed and that creates not accurate descriptions. It often looks like a shy ENFJ in the end but it's more complicated than that.
Now, Now, Joker...Fe is almost always best tempered by J...And Ni is best applied, at least initially, with self-compassion. Most would have not even bothered to edit their words and grammar. It seems to me that we tend to use our introversion as a kind of sounding board or connection to that well of insight we keep down below... Which, if given enough stress free time, often provides alternate perspectives for more interesting and `richer exchanges. just sayin'
@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied 71 yo F INFJ and I agree that we tend to under play our strengths and are surprised when others compliment us. I am all 20 descriptions!
I’m sorry I have to pause this video and contemplate the fucking bomb you just dropped. “Famous INFJs have been characterized not by demonstration of force but by the resistance of it.” I could cry for how much I feel seen by this statement. Thank you Nathan for always making us INFJs feel so understood and valued ❤
I'm not sure exactly when that idea popped into my head, but at some point after pondering various historical INFJs it just jumped out as a pattern. It also made a lot of sense with their functions too. When things tick those two boxes it feels worth saying in the videos! ~ Nathan
My best friend is an INFJ. She's not well educated, but she's brilliant, particularly in ways that I am not. She has endured so much with such grace. I have learned so much from her.🤗💗🙏
My dad is an INFJ psychiatrist. He’s a bit more eccentric than your description suggests but you’ve caught a lot more of his vibe than most people know. His areas of meticulousness are word pronunciation and brain/medical things. You should see the various cobbled-together but effective and sturdy farm structures he’s designed and built over the years. The less he spends making a piece the prouder he is that it does the job. And he’s well loved by many people whose lives have been transformed by his non-judgmental care, both listening and teaching.
Good point. It's true that it doesn't represent the eccentric INFJ side which is rarely showed and quite private but still, it exists. We may look wise and serious most of the time but we also know how to be playful sometimes.
@@catarinarodrigues3142 I once saw an infographic where the 16 personalities were matched with top professions. Yes, psychiatry/psychology was at the top for INFJs. My dad's old enough he had about 3 medications to work with at the beginning, while the rest was counseling. He still misses the time he had with people then, although no one is better at trying new pill combos and integrating body care into the mix for tough cases.
@@Aloha_XERO Absolutely. I'm an INTJ and just started a master's in biblical counseling. I've finally gotten to the point where helping people the way my dad taught me is worth the pain of working with their messy emotions. When I told my dad how rare you INFJ guys are, he was only sort of surprised. Society hardly knows what to do with people so far from the stereotypes, but there's no way being normal would be worth the pain of trying to blend in. And for me, he gave me a great example of how to be my own person even if others didn't appreciate it.
I laughed in the 16th word, when you said infjs are emotionally calm and stable x'D My mind is a beautiful torment. If you see me calm, i'm probably dissociating. (a fellow infj)
@@hectorpikipiki nah, i just live in my head a lot. I think being calm and emotionally stable is not linked to mbti types. Infjs are known for their perfectionistic tendencies and for overthinking. Ni-Ti loops are chaotic inside even if we project a calm demeanour.
“I’m probably dissociating” 🤣🤣 INFJ here as well, and yep, the numerous times i’ve dissociated is insane. It’a a mystery and a miracle how i wasn’t turned into an MK slave.
@At noc Oh, I'm definitely not "emotionally calm" inside MANY times.. BUT I (we) have the ability (& therefore I usually do) to remain calm on the outside, disassociate from my chaotic or troubled internal focus & carry on calmly, logically & thoughtfully with whatever is necessary at the moment. THEN I can "act troubled " if I still feel troubled after solving all the problems haha...
This describes my INFJ son to a tee so I sent it to him. He thoroughly enjoyed hearing about himself as others and I see him. Thank you for giving both of us a gift.
I love it when people share the videos with other people (of the type in the video) to see whether they relate! I'm glad that you both got something worthwhile from it ~ Nathan
I somehow started crying on the first word. I have a friend who is an INFJ whom I admire so much, and he has affected me in ways I cannot fully describe. I’ve never had a friend who is so caring, sensitive, and good-hearted, that it made me feel like I don’t deserve him in the first place. I’ve never met another person like him in my life, and I’m just so grateful to have him as my best friend. Hoping we’d continually be friends for life.
As an ENFP, I particularly enjoy the company of INFJs (although it's not always easy to sense that they see through all my little silly things and oddities). I admire her mystical nature and her captivating logic.
Is it unsettling? Knowing that the other person knows more about you than they reveal? INFJs don't hide the things they know on purpose btw. It just happens this way. But sometimes we also have a fear of scaring people if we share a lot of the insights that come to us about them or make them feel as if we breached their privacy. What do you think?
@@fl3640 I have two female INFJ friends. Even though I often seem quite loud and open as an ENFP, my intuition is very strong... I FEEL how intensely the INFJs perceive my statements (just like many other types quickly forget them) I FEEL that they take a picture of your character... luckily they like me. But they also see my flaws, and INFJs, with their amazing discipline, philosophical depth, and straightforwardness of action, are in part the unattainable role model for me. Do you know "Emma" by Jane Austen? These INFJs are like Jane Fairfax... I don't know why, INFJs don't have to say everything and don't have to scowl, but I FEEL their thoughts. But now something positive: You can enjoy dreamy moods, music with the INFJs like no other type and they always give you space for your personality...I enjoy their company so much!
@@fl3640 There's much packed into that paragraph. I'll just comment that, as a 69 yrs. old man, I've learned to treasure my inner life, and am much more careful in sharing it with others...A gesture here, a word there. In looking back down my path, these "little" things are what made the most lasting and treasured memories. IMHO
I love the bit about INFJs being cognizant of the potential misuses of their ability to play human chess. There's not another MBTI type that could weaponize human emotions better than the INFJ. But we can't bring ourselves to hurt someone else like that so we think the thought and let it go.
Thank you Nathan. I've always had a hard time knowing exactly how people perceive me and i've always been curious about it. If anyone seeing this likes to share their opinion on INFJs or how they view the INFJs in their lives then i'd love to read your comments.
I am one and I don't really have an opinion that I can adequately turn into an essay right now... Bottom line, it sometimes sucks a lot, but can be uplifting at times, like a firefly that you can barely see in the summer night before it flies away to reproduce, and then die.
They're super charming and pleasant. In a conversation I had with an INFJ friend, I didn't realize the amount of social charm they were using until many months after the interaction. They're nice, but never in an obnoxious way. (Kind of like a politician, but less pushy and less talkative.)
@@kokucat Hey i really liked your original comment btw and just wanted some time to know how to reply. You were right ;) hahahhaha. Thank you for your comment. Would like to know your own type too.
@@matthewyang7893 yeah, things will get better in some areas and worse in other areas. I feel like our presence is ligh too especially around people we don't really know. But hey, we're a lot more than a firefly my friend. Be your own biggest fan. You know what you're capable of and i know that for sure.
I really need to work on developing my fi, my therapist is suffering as a result… she’ll often ask how I feel about a matter and i’ll immediately start my sentence with “I would imagine a person might feel ______ about ______”, which usually results in her tiredly explaining for the thousandth time how she would like to hear my OWN emotions and thoughts. I can’t help it, most of the time I have no clue what I’m feeling 😭
You may find, as your life goes on, that how you feel is never at the forefront, at all. You will be focused on how others feel, and guiding them, far more than yourself. And it doesn’t even hurt. I have raised 5 healthy children to adulthood, helped everyone in my path, and acquired everything I could ever hope for. And how I felt never really factored in. It was a very good outcome. Trust yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you.❤
It is true that therapists seem to always want you to express your feelings. I gave up on therapy decades ago. Can't say it helped or not. Never met a therapist who wasn't obviously struggling with their own bag of dysfunctions...Which is fine, but I figured out that any truly effect therapy is self therapy. Better to work on one's self honesty and development of a life of character and consequence. IMHO.
This is pretty accurate imo, as an INFJ! Knowing individual variability is inevitable, here are a few spots I diverged a bit: - While I do pay attention to what other people are saying and am genuinely interested (basically I love seeing people get passionate even if it's not a subject I'm into), it would probably be difficult for me to listen more than I talk simply because I talk a LOT. Shows up in typing too. I'm prone to vomiting out the thoughts in my head in the hopes they'll be understood, demonstrating through evidence that I'm not just saying things arbitrarily. Being assumed as lolrandom or making judgments off of wishful thinking rather than evidence and reason is appalling to me. I'm also extremely aware of how some people conduct social interactions in bad faith, passive aggressiveness, manipulation, and mind-games. While I understand how to do those things, I really hate the whole practice. So I try to make myself as transparent as possible instead. That way people know precisely where I'm coming from and why, with minimal suspense during interactions. Don't want drama or anxiety crap, you know? - I've been described as very animated IRL before, which was funny. I tend to show my emotions all over my face, and in my hands, and in my posture, and so forth. Whether it's acting or fashion, writing or art--I've spent some period of time studying many different forms of communication. They all get used when I'm out in the world. I've learned to be more careful with parts of myself, but I'm more likely to be non-commital if asked personal questions I'm worried about than to lie. Again, I try to be as transparent as I can be. Have had people make assumptions and craft flat, inaccurate pictures of me in their heads then get attached to those pictures over who I actually am. Really hate it, so I try to avoid mystery and express nuance along with how it got there. - Depending on the subject discussed, will usually either fade into the far background of a group listening or end up central in propelling discussion. Input tends to be chosen carefully--if I have little or nothing to add I won't. If I do have something to add, I prefer to share it because I'm invested. - There is a point I'll pass judgment, but the threshold is extremely high. Most stuff gets filed under 'people are messy, hope things work out'. ** Prone to mispronouncing words too lol. Big vocabulary, understand connotations and correct usage, but the odds of a fancy word escaping my mouth in a correct and recognizable form are not high. Tried to say 'bedraggled' once as bed-raggled (like you get out of bed and look raggled-y) and got stared at for a good five seconds before conversation partner revealed it was be-draggled. Will never live it down.
That's an enlightening comment! Both in terms of understanding myself better, and about the bedraggled! I have been pronouncing it the same way that you did! Crap. It's like the time I suddenly found out "epitome" wasn't pronounced as "epi-tom" but "epitemy".
@@brinitygeorge2495 Thanks Brinity! Also though, I misread your post for a moment and thought I had been mispronouncing epitome my whole life too. There was a silent scream. 😂 I lucked out this time but please know that this was a very real possibility for me and undoubtedly there are other words I’m mixing up too. Sending you solidarity!
Hahaha, the mispronunciation nightmare is real 😂 I don't really judge other ppl too heavily but am ruthless to myself. I have also realised it is because we learn a lot of words by reading them and are not necessarily a part of everyday vocabulary, besides English is not a phonetic language. Luckily we can now google the correct pronunciation of words. I think we do tend to overshare because of feeling misunderstood most of the time. It is important to us that ppl understand that we are coming from a morally right place and not with any hidden agenda. We tend to find outlets not just by speaking about our feelings and intentions but by creative expression be it through songs, music, art, writing, etc. Lol, even my friends say my emotions are displayed on my face, it is very unconscious as I don't even realise I am doing it 😂 Cheers ✌️
I recently saw a discussion about how misprouncing some words happens, because you have only ever read them. In the comment section I learned that "awry" is pronounced "ah-ray". Glad I don't remember ever saying the word, and also that English is not my first language, so I can always have that excuse. I have also heard it said before, but I thought it was a different word, written array or something. lol
“People are messy, hope thing work out”. INFJ here too, and yep exactly how i file almost everything about people, when i get close to passing judgment 🤣
1. Thank you. I actually needed to hear something good and positive today since Ni drags me down through depressive episodes far more often than I would like to admit. 2. Mastering the dance of Ni-Se and trying to get those two “in line” is a work of a lifetime. I am not sure how others deal with it, but it is kinda like absorbing all the information you hear and see and trying to “transform” it before reacting. Even if (or especially when) you are angry. I am not sure what angers others. For me it is seeing all the misinformation being spread around and refusing to witness the process of repeated lies becoming the norm one gets used to. 3. Life is messed up. Doesn’t matter what personality type someone is and what cognitive functions a person uses. Each one of us has an Achilles’ heel, Pandora’s box, Samson’s (dubious, or not) belief that his strength was in his hair,… Yeah, we all have such traits (like it or not). 4. I need a break. Therefore, I will try to stay a bit out of my need to go around on the internet and “fix things” because it takes a lot of my energy. However, I will try to explain briefly certain things that might still cause misunderstanding for people. I will use Ni Fe Ti Se (but the structure does apply to other types). The most common thing I have heard is how 1 and 2 are most developed and 3 and 4 are not. This is actually not true. It is not a question of development. It is a question of how we use functions. The same way Ni gets informed by Se, Fe gets informed by Ti. And the other way around. Ni sends feedback to Se of the abstract idea that should receive a concrete form and be finalized. Fe informs Ti of people’s reaction, fortune/misfortune and whatever goes around in their life. So every type uses 4 cognitive functions that very much need to rely on each other (a task that is not easy to achieve for any type). Parent function = what we feel responsible towards/with, child function = a part of us we protect. If we were to add the 4 sides of the mind and other stuff, a clear form appears of how a person acts and what is possible and what not in terms of cognitive process and behavior. 5. Speaking out. Weirdly enough, people who know me well actually call me advocate. Way before knowing my personality type or cognitive functions (most people actually don’t even know I am an INFJ). Sometimes, a combination of cognitive functions does make one fit a role. It is there. And no, it doesn’t need a courtroom, microphone or crowd. It can be achieved through writing, architecture, design,… For some, it may lie dormant. For others, it will be more visible and active. Whatever the case, if you are an INFJ reading this: I hope you will find your North Star (if you haven’t already). Something to guide your steps and something to be able to put your mental energy into. 6. Don’t fit “a type” (whatever that type might be). In this sense, what I mean is this: when others tell you who you are and set the lines for you based on their view, you can actually refuse to stay inside the line especially if you know that it is not even “the right line”. Finding your set of cognitive functions is important. Because one can learn how to better influence one’s own mind and (perhaps) not fall into the same trap over and over again. I am clearly not there yet. But still actively trying. 7. Best of luck to all. Whatever your “type”, whatever your creed, lifestyle and whatnot.
Hey, thank you for the very insightful comment. It does make a lot of sense. I think my biggest struggle is the transfer of msg between Ni and Se. I mean I know the right course of action or what I need to do, but taking steps to achieve that particular action or goal is what I struggle with. In a lot of ways I realise I can't engage in Se situations for long. Like say cooking which I don't like, not that I can cook or something but say boiling an egg or having put something on the stove to cook, I forget about it and only realise it when the thing is burned and there is smoke and smell. Hence I always have to put an alarm to remind me to check on it. 😂 For a lot of things I am called absent minded, especially what doesn't engage or interest me but for others I am very meticulous and careful. Cheers ✌️
@@suki5048 I have the same Ni-Se issue. And I have discovered that I need to get important SE stuff out of the way early in the day, and not have too many of it in a day. For example, if I have to clean my cellar, drive into the city, fill and hand in documents and buy Christmas gifts, I will not be doing those in the same day and if I task-batch (documents and gifts, because already in the city), then this is not the day I will do excercise. Or I try to use other functions. I love cooking, but for me it is a very Ni-Fe activity, I just go with what inspires me or what will be good for my family etc., instead of following a recipe, which I hate to do. Or with excercise, I fall back on taking long walks with music, which also turns into more of a Ni-Ti activity. Sometimes also full on Ni, especially if I take a break to meditate in the forest.
@@thirstwithoutborders995 heyy, that makes soo much sense. I tend to pile all the Se tasks to 1 day thinking I can do all these tasks in a day or 2 and then will be free not to bother about it the other days of the week. I am sooo wrong about it, not only am I unable to complete even half the tasks but I underestimate the time I require to complete each task. At the end of it I feel like a lazy idiot for not completing my to-do list. Breaking it into bite size chunks makes so much sense but the idea of doing Se work everyday isn't appealing at all 😂 Even I prefer engaging in Se tasks very early in the morning or very late morning hours as all is calm and peaceful with no outside stimulation. That's soo cool that you love to cook that's definitely a skill set I wish I had. Contrary to you I prefer exact measurements and instructions as it is a skill that does not come intuitively to me and also maybe because I am an enneagram type 5. It's awesome that you live soo close to nature and can take a walk in the forest, nature does have a calming effect and helps us align our thoughts. Cheers ✌️
@@suki5048 MBTI should be scientifically testeddd! Why we think & prefer to do things so alike??? I am literally y'all & y'all are me! anyways im taking notes of y'alls comments for educational purposes
@@suki5048 i too face this issue with cooking. But i didn't notice until i read your comment. How do you observe such aspects of your behavior? This weaknesses make me look like a mix of responsible yet clumsy af lol.
Your analysis is always so thoughtful and thought-provoking. I especially loved "meticulous." We are often characterized as "not good with details," but we are definitely meticulous about some things. This is rarely mentioned about INFJs.
As an infj with an older infp brother, I always loved listening to him talk. Definitely the same for your videos and the way you explain things; something quite soothing and insightful in the most unforseen ways.
As an INFJ, I always felt slightly confused by the J having a ‘organizational’ significance I feel like internally, important things are constantly being filtered into categories that I feel are most linked to my ‘life goals’ in a way. And other things that are less relevant kind of get purged. But, externally, I have a room that’s always messy, and a struggle making schedules. To me however, my room is more practical in its messy state than in its clean state, cause everything is where it needs to be for the tasks I’m trying to accomplish. Now, after seeing this video, that makes alot more sense.
Jesus how were you able to come up with the right words to accurately explain your thoughts? Do you write a lot? Btw great video, INFJ here, enjoyed it :)))
I like this. Nobody else ever called me "ethereal" 😚 but I can see it in my friend, the only other Infj that I know personally, other than myself. So thank you Nathan 💙
I think non-judgemental is deceiving. Im judging continuously, and very sure mine us better than yours, but I'm also continuously reconsidering it, and I'll never show any judgement in the sense that I'll never believe you're just stupid. I believe you're trying your hardest, most of the time, and after judging everyone ever, I know that just like you, nobody else ever came close to their ideal version or perfection
Thank you for this. I am only 11 words deep and it is causing me to appreciate and love who I am and how I am more and more. We are a wonderful lot, us INFJ's. :)
That's awesome to hear! An INFJ/INTJ relationship sounds very interesting indeed. If you want to venture further down the rabbit hole then feel free to check out our discord server too ~ Nathan
There are a couple of items I don’t identify with. 1) Ethereal. Don’t really think I give off this vibe. I wish tho! 2) Meticulous. I am not so detailed oriented but more big picture focus. I am a perfectionist tho and tend to only do things I think I can be good at.
Thank you so much for compiling this INFJ vocabulary. While it can sometimes be lonely, feeling constantly misunderstood, I'm still proud to be this uniquely reserved, compassionate, creative type! 💞😻
Haha I think I’ve already replied to your comment under a recent FJ video… are we as INFJs just naturally drawn to study in-depth perspectives on how we are viewed and how we view the world (probably a way to reassure ourselves that this way of perceiving the world may be very different and not found in real life that often, but it’s not absolutely unique and isolated, so there’s some comfort in knowing that some similar people share similar issues but still somehow succeed and inspire others)? And yes, I agree, Nathan nailed it!
Wow, you nailed something that I haven't been able to understand, conceptually, for a long time with #11 (Methodical). I often wondered if I'm actually so bad with Te. I have really efficient systems and am organized in many ways, get shit done for work, my own creative processes, paying bills, meeting deadlines, etc etc... But only within those specific scopes. Things outside of those, sometimes even basic things that seem very straightforward to others, I have a hard time getting a grasp on... like remembering how to hard boil eggs or make rice.
Quite refreshing to hear, after all the heavy focus on the tortured people fetish and feeling misunderstood. And yes, this seemed relatable. Well done.
🥰👍 Good job! It feels like you were able to understand what drives me without explaining it in a critical view. I have often been judged to be perfectionistic, overly obsessive (meticulous), too sensitive (considerate/too pleasing), etc. All the good points you went over are most often ignored by the people around me. So this was really nice to hear. 😊 My own mother keeps suggesting I go into therapy or something because she thinks I can't deal with things, like I'm too sensitive or I can't adjust to things or because I just don't have this weird obsession with being social with random people. 🤷♂️🤦♂️ Basically a dismissive mother who selectively chooses to see everything in a negative light 😓
Excellent description Nathan except as I’ve got older, I’ve become very judgemental and don’t tolerate fools gladly. Is that just me having been ‘through the mill’ in life and my good nature having been taken advantage of, because I won’t take any more BS, or is it usual? I don’t know any other INFJ’s. Comments welcome 😀
I have become both even less judgemental and I tolerate BS less? I accept that people have issues and dark sides and blind spots, and everyone makes mistakes... but that doesn't mean I have to stick around and help them, you know?
This one really hits.. - so much so that I want to send it to those near and dear to me... but I stop myself, because I know it wont hit others the same.
That was very accurate and nice. But, honestly, I came to hate my type. In my very early youth Fe used to drive me into ppl pleasing and compromises I didn’t want or need, often to my own dismay. I hated people pleasing and compromising, but it was as if some force beyond me forced me to that. Right now Fe is mostly under control, and I love Ti, but getting trapped in Ni-Ti loop is a nightmare, and a recurring unrelenting nightmare at that. All these insights and “gut feelings” often end up useless as rarely can one understand full implications of smth and make the right decisions accordingly - it’s like being one’s own Cassandra, except you believe your insights but are unable to act on them most of the time esp. due to limiting circumstances.
Plus all the thinking keeps me awake at night. So stupid! I practically keep track of the balance of good and evil in the world. I wish I could be light-hearted.
Well isn't that everything I've ever thought of in a youtube comment.. goodness. I often say you can tell someone is an INFJ if they actually really hate it (as opposed to the ones who think its unique and unicorn and all that shit..)
Honestly, I agree with most of the things you said, except I think it’s not just a curse, but it can be a blessing too (under the right circumstances). Maybe it’s my naivety, or perhaps just my luck for having a very understanding and supportive environment, but while I struggle with all the things you mentioned, I also can get out of ni-ti loops because of said environment. I can’t really say I would wish INFJ-ness on others, but at least I’ve grown somewhat more appreciative of who I am as a person over time (just slightly). I hope you’ll have some wonderful people that you can rely on - it really makes a world of a difference.
@@pjotrkolster I agree that having supportive people in one's life is important. And, in fact, I am blessed to have such support: there are several wonderful people who understand me, whom I understand, and it's truly a blessing. Although having done quite a bit of work on my self, so to speak, and after I hit 30, I no longer really need external validation. I am happy that important people in my life are supportive and understanding not because I need their validation, but because I want us to share values and worldview overall. So, the Ni-Ti loop I was referring to in my comment has nothing to do with not being personally understood or any personal hurt. As it usually is, at this moment I find it rather difficult to put it into words in enough detail to make it clear, but succinctly enough to avoid turning a YT comment into a paper draft on this topic. So, perhaps, I'll use Ecclesiastes' words who arrived at the conclusion: "All is vanity and vexation of spirit."
Yeah, I know. My friend, Kyle… my biggest cheerleader - but also, pretty awful to me. He’s still waiting on me to fulfill an “impossible” unspoken promise… that I think I will fulfill.
@@TarzanHedgepeth There’s a tendency for them to sit back and enjoy the show. They need to participate and you are the one to include them in your process. Pick up a shovel, dammit. Why do I have to do all the work.
@@richsackett3423 Because they’re in a kind of competition with you and you don’t -completely- get that fact; meaning, it’s NOT at the forefront of your mind… but for them, it’s consuming their mind. And if they can look like they made you look like the striver and they’re the smart one… LOL, they keep their dignity
Love this. Sorry that I am late to the party regarding this video. All of your points resonated with me. Whether it is an addition or clarification of my "calm" INFJ nature, I do know that I really get triggered when someone tries to tell me something that is demonstrably untrue. Call it the gaslighting effect, but it really causes me to lose my cool. (Perhaps I should work on that :)
Never felt so seen and heard. I've doubted if I'm actually infj since I routinely get infp or intp on the online sites but realized later that this is because I'm highly introverted, so though fe is my second function and extroverted it didn't show so much on the test. This makes sense considering my upbringing as an outcast nerdy white kid in Detroit. Everything felt so dangerous as I didn't understand the culture based on my home life, and the culture outside was so boisterous and also full of negging ( sometimes sarcastic and ironic negging) it took me a long time to pick up on those concepts, but I was always monitoring, looking at the temperature of the room. But to find my true Myers Briggs personality I essentially had to go through my stack and figure it out from the ground up.
I enjoyed the words you picked. I think "effortlessly" is funny because it's hard to say, and "queue" because it's a bunch of vowels in line after a consonant. Of the INFJs that you know, how do find that they express their creativity? Thank you for the video.
I'm only one INFJ but I find that I often express my creativity through art, movement and writing. For art it's: drawing, sketching, painting, hand lettering, shuji/shodo (Japanese handwriting and calligraphy), crafting, making furniture, sewing, knitting, etc. I can also dance well and pick up choreography fairly easily. On that note, I guess I can say I'm also very meticulous with how I move my body. As such I pick up most artistic skills and sports fairly easily if I'm told how best to move to get a certain outcome. I follow direction well. I also enjoy writing and when my children were younger we'd often create books or I'd make up stories for them when we didn't know what else to do. Oh, I've also learned to play the piano and violin. It's been a while but with a bit of practice I'm sure I can pick it up. Nothing at any professional level, but enough to have satisfaction and enjoyment in whatever I pursue. ^-^
Methodical: this. My ENTJ often says that she is messy compared to my organization. And I agreed. Actually, I think all IJs are generally more organized than EJs because they integrate only selected info into the system and make it complete gradually. EJs are quick to organize what is on the spot but IJs are thorough and organize everything, slower but more relevant.
Sometimes I feel like Ni can really resemble Te and be very direct, focused and organized. That's why despite being Te blind, I always feel like I'm still able to be organized, or at least in theory. I think the combination of Ni and Ti helps going through this and to succeed to be somehow efficient in my very own way.
Sounds interesting, I'll probably check it thank you 😄. I probably already do it but I'm not sure if it's Ni or truly Te or a combination of Ni and Ti. Sometimes we can look very rude because we're going in full efficiency mode.
Ohk I was eager for our 20 words hoping to find something to work on got nothing,from an enfp I got a bit of spontaneity now I need more things to work on , help me~ infj 😊
Excellent! Learned a couple of new descriptions for myself as an iNFJ that I hadn't previously considered. I'll be listening again to this one for sure . Love the Welsh accent too!
What a brilliant and fascinating personality 💫🌌 Could someone please explain why INFJs hide their true self ? I know Fe can lead to 'forget' who you are in order to adapt yourself to someone else, but why is it so difficult for them to be exposed, talk about their feelings and let other people read their souls? ~ ENFP
Fear. People actually find us odd when we do express what's going on inside our minds. Not only a fear of judgement but also a fear of being hurt. Once an INFJ reveals parts of their true self, that's HUGE to them. Again that's a huge thing to us. But again every INFJ went through one of these experiences of being ghosted, alienated even though we got attached in order to reveal those parts. This actually hurts the INFJ a lot. In a setting where many people are present INFJs will stay silent sometimes cause they know they won't be accepted yet and need some time to read everyone and also read the dynamic between everyone in order to even start to participate.
Apart from the other very insightful replies to your question, i also feel that INFJs are extremely private ppl. We want to mainly express ourselves to be understood, our ideas, our motivations, intentions, goals, feelings, etc. And as mentioned in the video, we are the energy conserving type so we wouldn't want to expend our energy sharing all this with ppl we don't love or trust per say like acquaintances, social friends, stangers, etc. Also fear and awkwardness play a major role.
I personally think it has two reasons: 1) One is Ni-Ti, which is all internal processing of information. I don't really need or want others feedbacks to come to conclusions. It is quite a fragile thing, sorting all those micro-impressions into a comprehensive system, and if I would share these thoughts with someone, they always try to throw me off with their much more subjective, unrefined thoughts or "feel good slogans", that just annoy me. (For example, if I have the impression (via noticing some tiny changes of expression, use of words etc.) that two people in a a group don't get along/or don't like me/shit is about to go down, I need to think about it and sort it in with my theoretical framework and what I know, and I don't need someone telling me "Whut? I didn't notice anything. You must be crazy...". Which happens to INFJs as kids a lot, because kids get gaslighted routinely in our society.) I will gladly talk about my conclusions after I have come to them though, or after shit has gone down and I was super prepared, I will tell you how I knew. 2) It is a rare person who will even listen, or ask about my real feelings. Most just want to know if I align with their feelings, or actually just want to talk about their own feelings. And if that is the case, why bother opening up. Also, often my feelings are unsteady and include the perspective of all the others, in a "Is this the right way to feel about this?"-check. And then the result would be unsorted word-vomit or, if sorted, very dramatic sounding, since in reality, my feelings and thoughts are often colder and more rational than I appear on the outside or indeed dramatic and over-the-top. I had this fun conversation with my husband once, who asked me how I was feeling about him. I told him, I loved him so much, I just wish I could put him into a little box and always carry him around in my pocket and check up and kiss his head once in a while, to make sure he is always safe, because I miss him and worry about him when he is not close to me. Genuine expression of my emotion, sounds completely psychopathic.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Thanks for your answer. Yes, I have one ENFJ best friend, and we clicked right into each other and she is the one person I freely talk about my convoluted emotions with. She does the same, with FE being her primary mode, she often gets guidance on how to analyze people and not be reactive, and she gives me actionable steps and holds me accountable. It's a great friendship for sure.
Elder INFJ man here. After a lifetime of dealing with those who tend to live their lives on the surface of themselves, and living my life in a constant state of being misunderstood, I'll say that you are correct about "losing oneself" in the effort to maintain harmony, especially in younger days. Most people I've known have negative reactions to introverts.These reactions are deeply felt by the INFJ, and obviously will not bode well for any kind of enriching interchange. Why would anyone want to expose themselves to others who foolishly can only see us as "less than"? Personally, the challenge has been the lesson of truly learning to know and love myself, in spite of all my transgressions and failed attempts to fit in...Never too late to start.
I want to thank you for your work-I discovered that I'm an INFJ a few months ago, and your videos have been incredibly helpful in understanding, deconstructing, and naming the ways I think and operate. With all the knowledge and insight you have about this personality type, I'm curious about what career paths you think might be suitable for INFJs. Additionally, what would you recommend for INFJs to learn more about themselves (besides watching your videos!) and live in a way that is true to their authentic selves?
