Kate Middleton Conspiracies Are Dumb | Sad Boyz 

My favorite conspiracy is that Kate is on The Masked Singer, but my favorite comment I've seen re: the controversy is, "Hey does anyone know what Pete Davidson has been up to lately?"

you must know the pain of a podless Friday night to know the glory of a Saturday morning pod 🙏

I recently went on an internet deep-dive about canned tuna (someone asked why we call it "tuna fish," and I just had to know why), and interestingly - yes! Canned tuna WAS a new thing around the 1920s, so it probably WAS marketed as "chicken of the sea" so people would understand what they'd be getting when they opened a can.

Jordan calling Bhad Bhabie's future kid as "badder baby" took me out 💀

why is that everytime i expect jarvis to go "im jarvis" and jordan to go "im johnson"

fun fact cholmondeley is pronounced “chum-ley”. it’s a type of word called a shibboleth - a british place name spelt deliberately weirdly to mark out posh people (who know how to pronounce it) and common people (who don’t know how to pronounce it). this county is so bananas

This whole Kate Middleton situation reminds me of the fact that the Moroccan princess (the king’s wife) has been missing for years. We don’t know where she is and we had no updated pictures of her or her daughters in over ten years. After years of speculation, we did get an official confirmation of them divorcing but there is still the enigma of where she and the princess are. The prince (the heir to the throne) is everywhere with his dad but on his sister’s birthday we’ll get old photos of her when she was 5-6 years old. She’s like 17 now. Granted I don’t want to know how she looks like and she deserves to live in anonymity. But usually we’ll get gossip from the parents of the king’s children classmates. And during my last year of college, I used to be on the same way as the prince going to his high school and would always catch glimpses of his car surrounded by his guards on motocycles. But nada about the daughter.

Kensington Royal sounds like an Aldi brand name for a line of dog beds. Or maybe some Costco polo shirts that come in a 5-pack

I love how Jarvis's shout outs vary anywhere from "shout out hamtaro" to "shout out free school lunches"

Based on Kate's age and the non-specific nature of the surgery announcement, I expect that she had a hysterectomy. You need 6-8 weeks of recovery, and based on her health history (tough pregnancies) it is very possible her recovery is taking a while.

33:50: speaking of backwards counting: When I was in a car accident years ago, they tested me for brain damage by asking me to count backwards from 100, by 7's. This is not a skill we learned at my public school! I don't understand why they didn't have me count backwards by something I could: such as from 100 by 5's.

The only thing I was thinking seeing all those tweets was “can’t wait for the boyz to cover this”

It wasn’t even Emma Watson’s 18th. It was her 16th (legal age in the UK)

Introverted child here: I used to go to the empty lot next to my house & watch the ants & help them.

the duck spill is a thing that actually happened! a shipload of rubber ducks fell into the ocean and by studying the different places they have washed up there's been a lot of interesting data gathered on how ocean currents work it's actually super cool!!

a friend of mine landed a role in a car insurance ad where he was only shot from behind, for a plumber's crack sort of joke with a mechanic. he even had to send butt shots instead of face shots. he reportedly got the woman he was contacting at the ad agency in trouble cos she was using her work computer to look at his butt.

The photoshopping on the photo made me think of a funny anecdote: one year, my family had our photo taken with a Mall Santa for the Christmas cards my mom was sending out that year, but for some reason my dad couldn't be there for that photo, so my mom came up with the funny idea to just crop his head from another photo and paste it floating above the back of Santa's chair. Just hovering there, above all our heads, untethered to any humanoid torso. Basically no one we sent the cards to noticed at all until we pointed it out. They all saw it, but their brains filled in the blank as "he's just standing there behind the chair." So, while I'm a little surprised public figures like the royals or their publicists wouldn't be more wary of weirdos picking apart their photos, I don't exactly blame them for assuming people would just be normal and not notice.

hearing the wildly attractive jordan hear him say that about himself hurts, i hope you have more confidence now, you're such a handsome man!

I'm watching through all of Project Runway, which started airing nearly 20 years ago, and it occasionally turns into the How Can We Hate Women show. It's noticeable how much harsher and meaner 'reality' TV was back then.

My take on the Kate thing is that they said she'd be out of the spotlight until April, it's not April yet, fine, but they've really not helped the rumour mill with the mother's day photo. First they share a very poorly edited composite photo. I'm fine with the fact that it's composite because it's normal in a photo shoot situation to take many shot and composite for a best shot. What I'm not fine with is that they released a terribly composited photo and then when it went wrong, claimed Kate did the job herself and that's why because she's only an amateur photographer. The woman used to work as a photographer. It was literally her job at some point. THAT is what's weird. Why not blame the staff? Why blame the ex photographer?

The palace decided that Catherine Middleton would spell Kate with a lK, because Camilla’s name also started with a C. They thought this would establish differention between Camilla and Catherine[Kate]. So dumb, right.

"I'm here with a 15 year old Alienware laptop to tell you about something that didn't happen. I made something up, and that's fine." - Bhondledy Donkton, 2024

For Jordan: So dental crowding that leads to a higher rates of molar impaction has increased because of our cultural practices of infant care. Bottle fed and puree fed infants do not develop the wide upper palates that breastfed, jerkey gnawing babies do in other cultures. These high palates (think an arched ceiling in your mouth) also impact nasal passages, leaving less space there, leading to higher rates of sleep apnea, which also leads to higher rates of ADHD diagnosis in kids since chronic poor sleep mimics symptoms of ADHD. Source: My kids' pediatric dentist who specialized in this topic after his twin sons both developed sleep apnea.

As you can see at 1:39:43 Jordan no longer has on the stylish jacket which he wore for the whole episode but suddenly at 1:41:44 it has returned. Clearly Jordan has been exploded inside a car by Jarvis and replaced with a robotic martian clone. You can silence me but you can't silence the truth!!

I was minding my own business. Kate Middleton was the last thing on my mind. Then: Along came Faked-Family-Photo-Kate Gate. The ineptitude of Kensington Palace and the bizarreness of their obvious lies - is what's causing people to lean in and take a second look. In a sort of: "What's going on over HERE!?" kind of way.

I remember seeing Cholmondeley and going "thats gonna be about 3 syllables shorter isnt it" and lo and behold when I looked it up its pronounced Chum-lee 😭😭

Never clicked on a sadboyz thumbnail quicker 😂 as a brit and an anti royalist 😂

unfortunately i checked and you can absolutely spell out "i am the clone" from catherine middleton. and the only letters left over spell "riddle" and "nt", which is a medical abbreviation for non-tender abdomen, the part of the body that kate had her surgery on. 💀

ok so actually really fascinating about wisdom teeth is that research suggests that our wisdom teeth no longer fit in our mouths correctly due to modern day foods and food processing (processing generally meaning any sort of cooking techniques and preparation, not necessary factory processed junk foods). So now our diet consists of food that is a lot softer and easier to chew than it was for our ancestors, but evolution couldn't keep up with our rapid advances in food prep so we still have wisdom teeth, and the cool thing is that when researchers examined various tribal populations' teeth, their wisdom teeth grow in just fine as they tend to eat things that still require much more chewing.

The worst thing about "Cholmondeley" is that it's pronounced as "Chum-lee" (for real)

I was awake for my impacted wisdom teeth extraction, they cut your gums and break the wisdom tooth and remove it in pieces.

I was not ready for that intro first thing in the morning

Anastasia could totally do voice acting. She has a really great voice! I hope she gets to at some point. So many indie games being made these days, it'd be cool to see.

The royal PR folks screwed up majorly by sending the photo to international news agencies instead of just the usual UK royal reporters. The AP standards are ironclad, no exceptions, because they deal primarily in news of actual importance. And because smaller news outlets around the world are clients who download and run their material, they can’t just quietly pull a photo, they have to put out an alert to all their clients in case someone already downloaded the photo. If they had just kept to the norm of only giving the royal PR nonsense to the UK outlets that have a separate protocol for dealing with royal stuff, the photo would have been no big deal.

Just wanna let Jordan know that at 50:26 him saying 'weird little person' was comically censored by a T-rex roar from the game I was playing and I thought it was really funny.

My preschool teacher (former bartender) taught me the alphabet backwards as a 4 year old, and it is my only party trick.

Hear me out, considering how ABSOLUTELY HUGE tuna are, those tiny cans that WILL last for years in the pantry are definitively REMARKABLE. It only take 1 tiny time can to make an entire afternoon meal. By that metric, a single tuna fish can feed a family of 4 for a good 2 years.

I eat burrito to this

40:13 it’s called Niqab, Jordan ❤ Thanks for always bringing important stuff in the podcast

Jarvis, sometimes you say the exact thoughts I’m having in my head and it spooks me. Whenever I do the SNL voice the first name I go to is Bobby Moynihan every time. That gave me a good laugh!

it's common for your abdominal muscles to separate when you've had kids, especially two that are close together. the surgery was probably just to repair it

Jordan's parody of news channels is genuinely spot-on

the children being cropped from other pictures makes so much sense because have you ever tried taking a picture with multiple children at the same time??? it’s impossible! someone will end up being shaky or blinking or one of the kids will go “i don’t like how i look in it”. it’s so obvious that they just grabbed the little girl’s pose from another pic that they took within the same minute as the original picture lmao

Jordan is really good at the exact sort of British humor that I love to see lol

Even though its in the context of Boris Johnsons Islamophobia, I did get a little excited hearing niqab get mentioned. I wear niqab and I've like, rarely heard anyone who isn't Muslim mention niqab. The sad thing is, the comment you mentioned of him saying Muslim in niqab look like a "letter box" is that in my experience that's fairly mild in the way people tend to refer to niqabis. Him saying niqabis look like bank robbers is more typical of how people see me and say to me.

My wisdom teeth were terribly impacted, but my dentist didn’t believe in using general anesthesia or pain meds on people under 18, so I just got loaded up with Novacaine and sent home with a hearty “good luck.”

Me scrolling through my feed not finding anything then refreshing and seeing this “holy fuck thank you”

“a badder baby???” had me crying

1:00:00 …as a mom, I’m going to let y’all without kids in on a secret… 100% of every family’s Christmas card photos are NOT taken on Christmas Day lol! It says nothing that that one photo wasn’t taken on the day of Mother’s Day.. but it is kinda weird that it’s also not a real photo lol

Jarvis you actually said niqab so accurately good job

I can do the alphabet backwards, because my brothers and sisters played a video over and over that had it as a song. That was about 35 or so years ago. I can still sing it and even just say it, but I'm singing it in my mind. Music is a powerful tool. Also, I'll be 50 this year and when I was in college, it was a dream of mine to replace Don Pardo on SNL whenever he died. I didn't do anything to pursue it and no one called me when a replacement was needed. 🤷‍♂

I can say the alphabet backwards faster than i can say it forwards because when i was in 7th grade my band teacher told us they would make you do it for a DUI so my Neurodivergent brain 12yo brain was like "ah yes must learn this now"

A weird thing that my kindergarten teacher did was teach our class the alphabet forwards and backwards for some reason, so now it's been ingrained in my brain and I'm fully prepared if I ever get asked to do a sobriety test lol

The maddest thing is it's pronounced "Chumley"

Kate is building hype for when she drops her own podcast

I randomly just practiced saying the alphabet backwards in my late teens and I just tried and perfectly still remembered, kinda like long lost song lyrics you sing along to after not hearing for years

if anyone actually cares, the reason kate is spelled with a k instead of a c is because their initials would spell WC which they didn’t want so she is much more commonly known as Kate rather than Catherine

I love my tuning in to my favorite wacky podcast with BING BONG and THE BOY, truly goated production and the highlight of my week.

Always good to see a new upload from the Sad Boyz!

i also just had laughing gas not general anesthesia, and it was the worst because hearing my teeth come out/ crumble actually was worse than the pain 🙃

The 1st work day of my week is Saturday, and nothing is better than getting ready for work with a new SadBoyz pod🙌🏻

Holy shit om crying and shedding rn

Was waiting sooo long for this (like a week)

I had twilight anesthesia for my wisdom teeth surgery. So I wasn’t asleep really but I was not there at all until they woke me up.

whoa is this a crossover episode? I usually see you on Jarvis Johnson GOLD the only premium channel that's FREE

Can't wait for the sitcom show about Jarvis' crippling milk addiction

I've been binge-watching older episodes of Sad Boyz; I'm honestly surprised my algorithm hasn't shown me this channel before!

Auditions are the worst part of the process. Being on stage is magical and addictive af, auditions turn me into mush

My parents used to listen to the bob and tom show and out of nostalgia i sought them out and theyre doing the show as a podcast now. Can confirm they no longer compress the crap out of the audio lol

bing bong and the (sad) boy

I have worked in german television at the teleprompter and the people reading off it usually have the text in their hands as well in case something goes wrong :) might be the case here

When I got my wisdom teeth out, all I remember is that as I was going under, the surgeon asked me some wild question that made no sense, and my brain went, "Huh?" and my mouth went "Heh, yeah" and that felt really weird to me lol

every saturday i wake tip top of the morning just waiting and watching for sad boyz

MORE OF BING BONG AND THE BOY PLEASE

Sad Boys make me incredibly happy! I no lnoger have cable, so Jarvis' channels and Sad Boys have been my go-to entertainment. You guys are awesome!

I’m old, and my wisdom teeth were impacted and removed under full general anesthesia in 1987. I was groggy and mostly asleep after it for 3 days. Anesthesia these days is MUCH better.

Sad boys always there for me when I’m hungover on a Sunday

Yay new episode!! perfect for my saturday afternoon with some cereal!

LETS GO SADBOYZ

This reminds me of how, in the 60s, Paul McCartney got in a car crash and everyone began assuming he had died and was replaced by a doppleganger. Some people still believe this it's insane

jarvis, your curl pattern has been looking so healthy and structured lately - have you been doing anything differently to take care of your hair?

The Australian photoshop tutorial was so accurate - I've watched way too many of those over the years

The Soup was on E! not Spike TV, which is kinda similar vibes I guess.

1:04:38 "Clues! What letter does that start with?" "K.." "...okay" 💀💀💀💀

Jarvis, use Windows+Shift+S to take a screenshot easily on Windows.

loving that intro

that SOAD lyric bit at 38:42 KILLED me

This episode is getting me thru my weekend overtime shift 😎

Thanks for the distraction at work, made my last few hrs go by quicker :)

The big O notation put fear in my heart, thank you jarvis

It's been a while since I've noticed Jarvis making a cs reference. I honestly cacnled when he talked abt big O notation

I only recently started watching/ listening to the podcast and this is the funniest episode I've seen so far

Newlyweds definitely not the first celebrity reality show. The Osbournes beat 'em by a couple years.

The radio thing with the tuna and the clown was hilarious.... I'd listen to that radio station

Went to make a fresh pizza dough in the bread maker, and I come back to a sad boys fresh from the oven. Bellisimo

The craziest thing about the Kate photo is that they didn't just post an old well-edited photo. Like it would've been way less controversial to use an outtake no one's seen or a throwback to when they were babies or something

I don't know if this is a word of encouragement, since people can interpret things differently--but what helped me with the audition process is the knowledge that 9/10 it is not your fault if you are rejected for the role. It is something that is out of your control and the only thing you can control is your performance. This is the time for you to be the character as YOU interpret it--you have full artistic license in what you want to deliver in your audition. If it happens to align with what is needed/wanted, then you will proceed/get cast. I know there are a lot of other things contributing outside of that (I'm an AsAm woman lol), but it is still something that is out of my control. It's kind of weirdly nihilistic in a way, but it's really helped me get out of my head and stopped the rejections from hurting my ego. The only time I get bummed is if it's a project I REALLY wanted to be a part of--but it wasn't meant to be, and that's ok.

The only reason I know about the titles Marquis/Marchioness is because they are titles In the Battle Chateau in Pokémon X and Y

I absolutely love Jordan going off about the royal family

Actually (and here's some fun info for anyone who doesn't know) the best way to take a screenshot on Windows is Shift + Windows key + S