Know Someone Who Always Has to Be Right? Here's How To Deal With Them | Mel Robbins

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One of the most difficult things all of us will have to learn how to do in life is deal with difficult people. Sometimes these people are our bosses or colleagues. Other times it’s even more personal - a relative, friend, or partner.
Here’s one of the most important things to remember when dealing with difficult people - it’s not about them at all; it’s about how YOU are able to control your own thoughts and emotions - to keep it about the topic of conversation instead of “winning” the debate.
Remember that your challenge is not in trying to change that person’s anger or push back - your power lies in how you respond, how you learn to LISTEN and VALIDATE other’s emotions that you may find to be unreasonable or really ridiculous, and how you get them to listen to you - so you can get what you want without losing control of your emotions. Learn how to make heart-first decisions instead of ego-driven ones, and you’ll see just how much more you’ll accomplish.
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Опубликовано:

12 ноя 2016

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Комментарии : 978

@johncronin7481 5 лет назад

A wise man doesn’t know everything, A fool knows it all

@no.ca5270 4 года назад

John Cronin no

@Joshualacruz 4 года назад

*_Are you sure???_* If you say yes, you are a fool. Maybe you know you are a fool, which would make you a wise man. Maybe you know you're a wise man, which will make you a fool. If you say no, you are wise man who doesn't know wether he is a wise man or a fool. If you don't know the difference between a wise man and a fool, not even you should believe your statement in the first place.. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 I love this quote. It so perfect yet paradoxical.

@khunpaciny7273 4 года назад

@Joshualacruz I’m sorry could u repeat that but FASTER

@Joshualacruz 4 года назад

@@khunpaciny7273 Sure, no problem. AreyousureIfyousayyesyouareafooMaybeyouknowyouareafoolwhichwouldmakeyouawisemanMaybeyouknowyoureawisemanwhichwillmakeyouafoolIfyousaynoyouarewisemanwhodoesntknowwetherheisawisemanorafoolIfyoudontknowthedifferencebetweenawisemanandafoolnotevenyoushouldbelieveyourstatementinthefirstplaceIlovethisquoteItsoperfectyetparadoxical.

@khunpaciny7273 4 года назад

@Joshualacruz Thanks now I’ve lost all my brain cells ☺️

@williambrandondavis6897 4 года назад

Life is to short to be wasted dealing with people like that.

@radiogirl85 4 года назад

True

@NoName-yi5cs 3 года назад

Thanks. This kinda opens my mind. It's exhausting dealing with people like this...

@SR77736 3 года назад

Agreed. I just get quiet or avoid them. I don't have time.

@tylerdurden1430 3 года назад

And your advice then? That's what's needed, not comments like yours.

@gunfall9618 3 года назад

@@tylerdurden1430 true haha..i am seeing this at 2 am cause i had fight with my dad . i have to care about what my dad says. bt i also have to be in controle of me. really this type of comment doesnt help at all

@chasingwhispers 7 лет назад

Problem here is that person will then love to be around you because you listen and validate them. I don't want to attract people like this into my life.

@lanao.hassan9548 7 лет назад

Kat Earls then you use option one ignore them

@chasingwhispers 7 лет назад

Shilan Hassan I try but it's tricky if they're family or friend-of-a-friend who happens to turn up at the same event and there's only a small group of people.

@SN-wz5ls 7 лет назад

Kat Earls I have the same question too...

@helenrogers5569 7 лет назад

Kat Earls Exactly!! Be very careful to validate these types of people. You just are feeding them to continue to be the way they are. Like you are encouraging them to continue to "always want to be right".

@helenrogers5569 7 лет назад

Shilan Hassan. Ignore them?? Not possible in many situations. For example in your career. You often have to work closely with this person. The only way to keep yourself out of any trouble is to "take the beating" over and over from them. Trust me, you can't go to management because these types of people are pros at what they do. They get the benefit of the doubt.

@pamelahardy2907 6 лет назад

I wind up not caring about who I'm discussing with a topic with if the other person is a know it all. You can't have an intellectual conversation with a know it all, because they truely believe that they know everything from a factual point of view. They forget that progress is also achieved through visionaries and mistakes, and because they know it all, they don't want to be reminded

@czv5983 4 года назад

Say it LOUDERR!!

@yourpcgoddess 4 года назад

@@czv5983 📣 From the rooftop!

@Wikdone 3 года назад

Amen!

@madelineasmr926 3 года назад

This actually made me laugh out loud because it’s so true

@avahamlincoln874 3 года назад

My mom is like this and I seriously try so hard not to laugh. One day this is going to come back to haunt her.

@HC-ve1mf 3 года назад

By experience, if he has to be right about everything, RUN AWAY !

@familyloyalty43 4 года назад

I think that those who feel they know everything about you either feel challenged by you or feel entitled to something. Sometimes folks just can't accept that all people are unique.

@gabbysambienceofrivers4813 2 года назад

EXACTLY! 💯

@thegracetofollow4194 2 года назад

Exactly

@thegracetofollow4194 2 года назад

My boss is just like that everything has to be thier way or all hell breaks lose

@placeholder_name321 2 года назад

THIS😭😭trying not to cry

@joshuaanzalone2060 Год назад

Many people can't accept the fact that you are indifferent to them

@TheDjcobra2001 4 года назад

I know someone like this. It's very hard to have any conversation with them. Besides them completely dominating the conversation and cutting me off every other word I say. What I do say gets devalued and I'm either always wrong about what I say or they get upset because I told them something they don't know. Quite literally I told them something one they didn't know and they got mad and asked me why they didn't know that. I told them that they don't know everything and walked away. But no letting them finish talking wont solve anything. They will keep talking and talking or even change the subject just to keep talking. Once you talk, not only will they not listen but they will either not care about what you say or just cut you off and talk themselves.

@housephone9090 5 лет назад

Dont agree with this advice, narcissist don't listen even when they are done, in their minds once they shared all their thoughts the conversation is over.

@duhbghaill9306 5 лет назад

So for me, the narcissist is my father. I tried this approach. When I brought back up that point I could most grasp/get behind from their 'spew' (and it was a long spew too, most of an hour) they immediately said 'No no no, you didn't get it, let me begin again." After that second near-hour lecture I was done. Point is I agree with you, have a like!

@123billybob1 5 лет назад

You are the spitting image oh a difficult person

@dark_queen3605 4 года назад

@@123billybob1 lol

@claritywithteekay 4 года назад

couldn't agree more

@klev5021 4 года назад

Pony_Power yup

@ilovecarrie8403 4 года назад

That's good advice when its someone you don't live with. When it's your spouse, you learn to just keep your mouth shut and nod then just try to avoid conversation (which is always a one way conversation). I love when his friends call. It keeps him from talking at me!

@DaRevolution9 9 месяцев назад

Currently dealing with this BS. I’m learning to just shut up, nod and keep convos to a bare minimum. Then it’s looked at as I have an attitude etc.

@theconcern7508 7 месяцев назад

doing this with my girlfriend right now. getting tired of it honestly.

@Triniman101 2 месяца назад

Waw.. that's hard. Sounds like sufferation

@LonjeMarie7 4 года назад

A trauma for me growing up with my mother would invalidate me ,make it seem like what I was saying was not important, she made me feel dumb and stupid ,and SHE was always right. She is still like that.I definitely have some obstacles to overcome. I remind myself Constantly how smart and intelligent I am by reminding myself of the wonderful awesome , smart things that I HAVE accomplished ,I don’t put my value and my validation in someone else’s hands.

@Cheerleader644860 2 года назад

Exactly I just got through with an argument with my mother today she argues to be right and she doesn't think she's doing it

@gardenlover9663 Год назад

Word.

@Jason-zw2dg 5 лет назад

You just walk away from them as their talking, mid sentence

@alexmanalo5671 4 года назад

No this is terrible advice... for example one person says hey you want fried eggs on steamed rice, I know you like it? Person 2: no fried eggs go on fried rice. Person 1:no you like the eggs with steamed rice. Annnnnd BOOM! Person 2 knows exactly what they like but for some reason person 1 keeps persisting otherwise. Then person 2 tries explaining how they never thought eggs go with steamed rice but person 1 decides to walk away instead of listening and the conversation never gets resolved and person 1 pretends it didn't happen while person 2 has disdain for 1 due to the fact that person 1 is living in a fantasy world where they decide what to let in and instead of being correct and getting a solution they choose to be wrong and believe they are right. The cycle goes on and on about many topics because people like you walk away mid sentence and you wonder why they are so argumentative... it's because you never find a solution to a difference in opinion. You don't have to say which side is better but get across to each other about your beliefs

@craffte 4 года назад

BAM. There it is. and it works, btw

@no.ca5270 4 года назад

You are absolutely correct, then you avoid battery

@Slaypedia 4 года назад

Jason exactly I’m not standing there

@valeriew4833 4 года назад

@@rao3704 well I don't have to pretend to value a person or their ideas when I don't. For me, it feels SO GOOD to make decisions and fully own them instead of doing things I've been told I should do. I'm not afraid to be the bad guy when needed. And I will always be unapologetic when it comes to protecting my precious self 💅✨

@heavythinker16 7 лет назад

Isn't it that sometimes you just have to stop a person like this? You don't always give people like this validation, it just makes them want to think that they're right and better than others.

@Orion227 7 лет назад

heavythinker16 ... validation isn't saying you agree with them or their delivery was acceptable, or that you are taking it onboard, it's saying "I heard you", which is an adult response. You have basically diffused the situation and are more likely to be heard in response or able to work away unscathed.

@JoseSanchez-bp7xz 6 лет назад

heavythinker16 You can’t stop people Iike this. They are just the way that they are. We can only change Who “we” are.

@Bill.L.Carroll 6 лет назад

heavythinker16 I think you missed the point of what was being said...

@Bill.L.Carroll 6 лет назад

shoutout to all the PEAR but the choice is yours to stand and listen or walk away.... Either way, your life, your choice.

@minnesota7010 5 лет назад

@@Bill.L.Carroll yep your right😇

@Dastormcoming 4 года назад

This dont work in relationships because when its ur turn to talk, the other person will feel they have said it all but u disagree so they will then leave the conversation.

@thegracetofollow4194 2 года назад

That's fine say yours and live at that

@blackbird424 2 года назад

I agree with you.

@blackbird424 2 года назад

It's so much distorting with such a sibling. You dread the surrounding so much.

@rockfish7777 3 года назад

I find that sometimes when they are done, they leave. They feel like they’ve proven them selfs right and that there mission is complete then they somehow loose the ability to hear and leave.

@lisacheney4763 6 лет назад

I live with a man like this. We have two children together. It's very difficult.

@joelmasantos879 3 года назад

My husband is like this and keeps telling me that I need therapy. He said he fixed himself before meeting me, with therapy and I should have it too.

@hchr 3 года назад

Its real difficult .. The kids will be affected the most. Stay strong Lisa

@user-dp3iy2ch4p 3 года назад

Omg it must be very very difficult i cannot even marine myself being w a person like this in a room for even 5 mins , lots of love to you i hope you are doing ok

@jansorensen3026 3 года назад

Poor you. With that kind of person you're living with you'll soon have low self-esteem and the children will grow up hating their know-it-all Dad

@jacklayton34 3 года назад

You made a bad choice. He didn't change into that guy, you chose him.

@et-uo7mp 4 года назад

You can never ever win a conversation with them. Cause they are always right. How can you win a conversation with someone who knows it all. And is walking away the best option. Cause they will continue to harass you.

@roshanjonathan8934 3 года назад

"Everybody knows something ' but ' Nobody knows everything "

@Panglos 6 лет назад

I have a slight variation on this. What about people who play one-upmanship? I'm talking about people who, no matter what, have whatever you have and more. They have, and have had, it all. They've traveled farther, they've done more, they know more influential people, they've experienced more, they have a better position, they went to better schools, they know more, they own more, they earn more, their investments are better, their relationships are better, etc. And it applies to negative things too, like sickness and disease. Got a terminal illness? So did they, only worse-and they beat it. How do you deal with people like this?

@beavispdx 6 лет назад

Panglos avoid them at all costs

@laurieparis2203 6 лет назад

Panglos The same way she demonstrates here. Me... I find I learn a lot from people who have stories to share. Frankly I think what you call the "one uppers" are just trying to demonstrate that they feel for you, by showing you they went thru a similar situation. They aren't trying to put you down. You do that to yourself.

@schuftiandmunchkin 5 лет назад

They sound like someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My mother suffers from this condition and there is no way you can deal with them at all except to cut off contact. They are toxic, and the advice Mel has wouldn't apply in this instance. A person without this type of disorder, sure, I've found it works quite well.

@witchhazel7928 5 лет назад

Laurie Paris No. you will notice the one uppers will NEVER ask you about your life or how you are doing. It will always be about them, their life and their stories.

@minitrumpsaltminingltd4351 5 лет назад

Either narcissists or just superior. Whos using actual argumentation?

@jamesmungai9646 7 лет назад

What a coincidence I just dealt with such a person a few hours ago... I needed this! Thanks Mel! 😁

@cosmicdude7721 3 года назад

Pole bro. 😂😂

@tracynewton3083 2 года назад

Me too, because I spoke my truth. Get a life crossed my mind and I cannot stand precious people.

@witchhazel7928 5 лет назад

You know what Mel, the person who is always right creates more work and loss of precious time. They fill out paperwork incorrectly and then sends it out. The paperwork comes back and I end up wasting the clients time and my time because I am the one who is redoing the work. They ARE getting acknowledged all the time! These people enjoy pointing out “wrongs” and being nitpicky and lying. And that makes them look like they’re wonderful and great all the time to the employers who don’t really care or pay attention. They need constant validation.

@LuisHernandez-km5uz 4 года назад

My wife is a perfect person, according to her... I can't have a rational conversation with her, even after using these methods. Please help.

@joeprimal2044 4 года назад

Mine to. It's bizarre and it just gets worse and worse with time. I don't know what to do. It's so depressing.

@clarkkent3730 4 года назад

Live your own life and just be indifferent to them... You can't reason with the unreasonable

@tshexisawesome5977 4 года назад

@@clarkkent3730 From my understanding what you are saying is a 'divorce', please correct me if I'm wrong

@clarkkent3730 4 года назад

@@tshexisawesome5977 "Therefore, my beloved brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another-even to Him who was raised from the dead (Jesus), that we should bear fruit to God"......Romans 7 nkjv

@clarkkent3730 4 года назад

@@tshexisawesome5977 "But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none (indifference), those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away".....1 corinthians 7 nkjv

@jeccym8715 3 года назад

When someone attacks me unnecessary cos I made a mistake and he or she start scolding me, I feel really bad and I easily shed tears!

@thegracetofollow4194 2 года назад

Pay attention to your RU-vid name taking charge of your life also means u don't cry for no body

@Canteluta1022 6 лет назад

Wow. I just realized that I can also use this tactic on MYSELF! Like when I’m spinning my mental wheels in the mud of some injuries or mental garbage. Thank you, Mel. You’re a lifesaver. 💕😉

@candycottonwithapple 5 лет назад

She's right, I'm all ego when dealing with the conflictive people in my life.

@akariSara. 6 лет назад

I tried this and the person kept talking over me when I allowed them to finish up countless times. Each time I tried to say something I felt they just argued over me more so I continued yet again repeatedly with the “anything else?” Tactic. He just wouldn’t stop. It ended with me very frustrated and having to walk away while they followed me going on and on. It would never end. Safe to say I told this person I don’t want to converse with them when they even admitted they don’t care what anyone else has to say. They have hurt me greatly over the last few months with their in right your wrong and I am the only one to speak attitude. I’d rather not deal with them ever again. Friendship gone but they were impossible to deal with anyway. Nobody really likes them tbh. I was their final friend.

@stacyisnspireddantzler9704 6 лет назад

Claireables Louise Sounds like a narcissistic friend

@laurieparis2203 6 лет назад

Claireables Louise I had an online friend I had to let go, that reminds me somewhat of what you went thru. It wasn't that I didn't like him or share common interests, bc that's how we started talking. It's just that the conversations were so one sided, debates over minutae, misinterpreting in a bad way so many things I said, putting words in my mouth that I did not say, (I was glad our conversations were in text, bc I had proof I hadn't said that!) attributing feelings to me i was not feeling, accusations that I wasn't a good friend, bc I wasn't on his side calling his "foes" names, drama with so many people in his life, over the smallest things, violent talk... in short our personalities were so far apart, that I found our conversations exhausting. Had to call it quits... which really is the best thing you can do for both of you! 🌱

@metastract 5 лет назад

Run. Don't walk.

@walterheisenbergwhite6034 5 лет назад

Welp... That's my sister! She always thinks that she is right. Here's an example! She gave me a gift and past 45 mins she started to make me mad. And she just couldn't see that im mad and actually wouldn't stop blaming me on it! She said "I gave you a thing you wanted!" Me: "Bruh I never asked for it! And you say that im ungrateful?! Hold on what does a gift have to do with anything! That dosen't give you a right to do something bad even tho I never asked for it!" I don't want to see ungrateful. I just walked away...

@madelineasmr926 3 года назад

Imagine being in a relationship with a person like that... imagine being told multiple times that your opinion is not valid for xyz reason so it’s okay to constantly cut you off...even though you listen to what they have to say all the time. Out of respect. One day I hope to find someone who even if we disagree they at least respect me enough to hear me out, whatever it is.

@aurelianspodarec2629 5 лет назад

"Anything else" is arrogant and a sure way to end the negotiation, than to start it lol

@JamesBond-ml3zp 5 лет назад

Aurelian Spodarec People that LOVE to COMPLAIN and that like DRAMA tend to be ignorant, Negative, Mentally lazy, and don't like people from my experience.

@jacklayton34 3 года назад

It is a totally weak way to end anything. I would not let that stand.

@katiekaiser5196 Год назад

GREAT advice. Love it. Mel you know your stuff! I’ve dealt with lots of know-it-all’s and it’s quite frustrating. I find myself getting annoyed, and if the topic of conversation is something that I truly know and they don’t, I usually have to say something. But then they argue with me and try to tell me otherwise. It’s ridiculous. So this is excellent advice to know how to handle it!

@bunsenn5064 Год назад

I see this all the time in social media. I’m always wrong and everyone else is always right, so right in fact that they go to great lengths to tell everyone else how wrong they are.

@santruptip1753 7 лет назад

i so needed that advice right now :)

@TheAmazingBeanieMan 5 лет назад

"You may know some things but you don't know everything."

@avahamlincoln874 3 года назад

Honestly I love how she was able to actually give us examples like I loved how she gave us some really valuable advice thank you.

@lawrencevincent1 2 года назад

Yes, and bullies spew and poke people in the chest. It is a debate that can seemingly last forever.

@graleh 4 года назад

And then what, after validating is done? Why should I be the punch bag? Why should I be the validator, the mom and take other people's issues? I have tried this with a narcissist and I just started being the punch bag even more.

@EquallyIndian 2 года назад

I have noticed my mom doing the way of tackling people like these 😍seems like she's also experienced in this.. Proud of my mom Thank you Love from India 🇮🇳❤️

@chrissie1057 4 года назад

it's the volume and duration that I have to wait for that moment that is maddening, sometimes you can only move so far away.

@timothyhart5655 3 года назад

Huge pivotal moment for me watching this. Thank you.

@brockbah2048 3 года назад

"I work at CNN" aight ima head out

@vesselsoffaith4756 3 года назад

😂😂

@deniseperalta-smith3948 3 года назад

I thought the same thing. Who cares.

@Afurthyclays 3 года назад

Yeah, that's not something I'd be bragging about. 😂

@nuts4785 3 года назад

Right

@Weldon7749 3 года назад

"I don't want to bring politics into this," so here let me bring politics into this. You shouldn't have.

@ms.example9342 5 лет назад

From a child I've never had a normal conversation ppl constantly tryna prove they're right n not wanting to build w/ me like let's start a music group or somethn always arguing

@NeverLetLoveGo 3 года назад

Yes Sophia, I feel the same way!

@nadinebodequin9403 3 года назад

Thank you for being here. I’m learning so much. Thank you very much.

@Jdub6580 Год назад

FINALLY! After 15 videos I found what I was looking for. This is pure gold and I'll be watching until I get it memorized. This is sage advice for thoughtful people. Why, yes, I would love to like and subscribe!

@bharathikathireson3273 5 лет назад

Ive let them speak for 3 hours straight.. I validated their feeling and acknowledged their opinions and even agreed to some of their points for 3 HOURS STRAIGHT... Then after asking for permission to speak and if they haf anything else to say, i was ready to share my thoughts and views about the topic. Only to be interrupted before i could even finish my first sentence with that they their opinion was to my respond (which I didn't even finish because i havent even got to the part about what i think about it) to which i asked them back.. " but i wasn't finished, actually havent even started giving you anything for you to have an opinion or thought about" and then they spoke for another hour.

@placeholder_name321 2 года назад

This resonates with me. I have a family member who does exactly this to me, siblings and even mother. It’s painful and tough to navigate through. Its often when they end theirs sentence and one of us starts replying -“no no no!! Let me finish!” Has been hard to reason with

@mikemiletic2417 Год назад

@@placeholder_name321 that's a person you turn your back from, or put them in their place VERY FIRMLY

@izro1436 5 лет назад

Wow😱 This is going to change so many conversations, thank you

@noslack1964 4 года назад

I have a friend that is EXACTLY like this. That person, in their mind is always right, no matter what. The way deal with them is to avoid them whenever possible. I've tried this approach and all it did was strengthen their ego even more

@muskduh 2 года назад

thanks for everything, mel robbins!

@reinajenkins2185 4 года назад

I rent a room in my girlfriend's house and I'ma try to take your advice. I care about my roommate alot but wow since I moved in it's a whole side of her that's difficult to handle. She's never wrong even when she's wrong and knows it. Everything has to be her way. I am swallowing alot because I'm trying to be respectful cause she's my friend but OMG I now just stay in my room with the door closed just to avoid conversations. I even noticed on Facebook she has to have the last word on other people's post. She's really annoying to deal with so I'm going to try your advice. Thank you

@AdiAfzalAhmad 7 лет назад

Oh God. Thank you so much for this. I really need this at the moment.

@user-bi1jz3sf7u 6 лет назад

Exactly what I needed. Thank you!

@supriyashukla2321 4 года назад

Hey. Thankyou so much. I needed this to deal with one of my childhood friend who has become very irritating lately.

@hennaneko9737 3 года назад

I feel like I’m going to have to continually watch this because it’s so easy to forget in the moment 🙈🙈🙈🙈

@mattwalter6207 5 лет назад

Great video. I AM that argumentative person that always has to be right. This made me realize how I come off to others. Love the ego vs. heart discussion.

@samolopo4597 2 года назад

Stop the feminine energy

@squirrele.1266 2 года назад

@@samolopo4597 What the fuck is your problem?

@chasingamurderer 2 года назад

Mel

@ThatGeckkohGuy 4 года назад

Hearing someone else say this has somewhat opened my eyes... although when i think back about the recent situation with someone who wants to be right all the time i noticed that i was actually doing what Mel has said but i was doing it subconsciously

@SR81K9 5 лет назад

6+3=9 but so is 5+4 Respect other people's way of thinking.

@SweetGaBrownin 7 лет назад

I loved your analogy for vomit and this was a great. I will definitely try and implement this in my own life experiences. TFS

@iamwisecrowtarot8373 2 года назад

Thank you Mel you have no idea how helpful this is. Love you

@vladleiva4929 5 лет назад

One of the most helpful things I’ve ver heard. Thank you.

@beavispdx 6 лет назад

Strongly disagree with this advice. The best thing to do is say I’m not interested in your conversational narcissism and then walk away.

@marenzita71 6 лет назад

Beavispdx totally agree

@hayleyseaton898 5 лет назад

I’m someone who struggles with thinking that I always need to be right. A lot of the time, I don’t even notice I’m doing it. And if everyone said that to me, I know I’d just get depressed. You have to think about the other side of the story. I’m trying...

@dj912sent9 5 лет назад

Yes don’t be afraid to walk away from such conversations! Ppl who want to do all the talking and be right about everything!!

@metastract 5 лет назад

Depends on the setting - relatively difficult to get up and walk away from a meal for example if a family member becomes argumentative. Easy to walk away from a stranger at a conference or in the street though.

@dj912sent9 5 лет назад

Clare C Actually it is fairly easy to get up to use the bathroom or whatever else you can come up with in order to diffuse the situation. It is all about how you think about it.

@erinvaughn3739 7 лет назад

I just usually give them the facts ! Most of the time it works. If that doesn't work I just let it go . 👍

@sejalharsora5180 7 лет назад

I thank you so much for enlighting me with deeper sense of human behavior through this video !!

@laurieparis2203 6 лет назад

Excellent advice! I don't visualize a person vomiting, bc that's disrespectful, but what I do acknowledge is that a person who needs to be right is passionate about a topic, and desperate to be heard. They just don't know how to go about communicating their knowledge/feelings in a way that isnt like a tsumnani! Ive noticed once these people get going, they are going to take any input as an argument and steamroller over you, so ya just got to listen for content, ride the wave so to speak, and do just as you have described here, encouraging them to go on, pick out a point that you agree with, and explore that with them to show them you have been listening. That's all people really want... to know they have been en heard. I've been doing this intuitively pretty much my entire life, but it was great to see this process broken down into simple steps for others to follow. Great going! Life would be so much better if people stopped reacting, and started listening without ego getting in the way. And so it goes. Thank you for sharing this tool!

@simmy2118 4 года назад

My dad won't let me speak even when I let him say everything. He just threatens to further my punishment. Even when him and I both know at that point that he's wrong

@jacklayton34 3 года назад

I love it when someone thinks they're so smart like her, they think they can trick me into submission with a compliment or distraction. I let them go with it for a while, letting them think they've got me. Then I call out their tactic and watch them back down. They usually try to change the subject via a distraction again. And on it goes. Until I finally use their talent against them.

@tiffanyrooprai2305 3 года назад

Best and most concise bit of advice. Thank you.

@charlenelaguer7072 7 лет назад

Wow, this hit it right at home for me, thanks Mel for the terrific advice!

@wendyward4733 7 лет назад

I love this advice...the vomit metaphor..with follow up validation lol I love it...thanks 🙂

@cee1724 3 года назад

Here's how I deal with it: If I let my ego take control, I will fight for what I believe is right. If I let my heart in control, I feel sad for the person for having narcissistic traits and I would be compelled to be passive and give the person "unconditional love" Well, none of them works. One thing that works: *Respond instead of React* I would put up resistance enough to let the person know that he's not always right and he's wrong right now. I would give enough empathy to make him feel that it's alright to be wrong. It's a balance of that. I did that as a respond and not because I was reacting to the person by being to fiesty nor passive.

@thegracetofollow4194 2 года назад

Right

@HANSONM123 Год назад

Thank you. This is genuinely helpful.

@ashishkaushik1790 7 лет назад

Truly remarkable!!

@benzflynn 3 года назад

Totally disagree. If you're bothered by such a person, it's because you're stuck with them (at least while you're in the same family or study-group or office or client or wherever) and you just have to deal with them. The sooner you sort them out, the better: the more arguments they _think_ they have the last word in, the harder they'll be to take down. There's nothing in what you said here that'll do anything but make the neurotic worse and waste a lot of your own nervous energy in the process.

@LonjeMarie7 4 года назад

I have learned so much from her! A LOT! Thank you very much for me it’s about maintaining my soul control no matter what the other person does, this is an opportunity for us to grow ,how would we grow if everyone were nice?

@candyg06 7 лет назад

omg this is really really smart. thank u for this!

@jasonseifried7192 3 года назад

Thank you so much for that advice. I’m going to use it tomorrow. Because I have 2 bosses that won’t listen to anything I have to say. But I have to listen to them when some of the time that are so full of crap.

@sophiek3292 7 лет назад

Thanks! P.S. I laughed so hard at the vomiting part, I instantly imagined this person I have in mind (whom I care very much about, by the way) vomiting :)

@VinDcator 7 лет назад

Mel, you're 100 times better than Tony Robbins.

@gaben1730 5 лет назад

@dominiqueraymond2174 3 года назад

Thank you Mel!

@LoriBothwell 4 месяца назад

Thanks Mel for giving such an amazing strategy. ❤I truly believe it’s a superpower to stand in our own confidence and still be kind and to respond in a detached manner. Then you can move on .

@Oliver_Nisgaard 5 лет назад

I think I'm actually that person and I just really want validation, damn.

@klev5021 4 года назад

Oliver Bilgrav Nisgaard sometimes i am too 😓

@hailey3429 3 года назад

Did you change

@Dickerson94 7 лет назад

I loved this, I'll be stepping to the side next time someone is spewing 😂

@monanoorchaalida849 Год назад

????

@NocturnalRS 2 года назад

It shouldn't even be called opinionated because you can't debate an opinion, it's when opinions become facts to people.

@40bdg 7 лет назад

Wow! This gave me a whole new insight! Thank you so much!

@SN-wz5ls 7 лет назад

so basically, we would react the same way, as we would to something we don't care about; but this time, validate the person..; would you agree that "agreeing to disagree" at this point is the same thing as a validation? as well is it egotistically if one listens through..but really just wasted that persons time..because the entire spew was just that.. or should we take it as a positive thing we're doing but letting them speak; mind you I hv some of these kind of people in my life..but the problem is..ones you let them be..they tend to think they're always right..and never stop the spewing..how and when would they get it to stop..or should we just know when it's time to just disengage..because i would hate to be encouraging a behaviour which in itself is egotistical..and interferes with my energy.. sorry I know I hv a lot to say here.. but I hope you get what I mean.. like when is it okay to say enough is enough..

@helenrogers5569 7 лет назад

Nanda Singh Very well said!! My thoughts exactly. I would never validate them because it gives them fuel.

@SN-wz5ls 7 лет назад

Helen Rogers I know exactly.. at 34 going on 35yrs, I only recently learn..keeping your friends close..but your enemies closer..is a bag of bull crap..this saying is so backwards..most likely a motivational saying for the haters instead of the hatee to the hater.. seriously! The way I learned to deal with this..and I must say..I got so over whelmed.. at times I forget to pratice it.. is to agree to disagree.. and yes..if something sounds interesting..validation is a really good thing... we can't change how people are.. and it's true somes people just wants you to listen..and just that; but we should difinitely get the permission to say enough is enough though..it's very unhealthy to encourage a bad behaviour..more so unhealthy for us to have to allow ourselves to take on should negativity.. I would really like to see what Mel's opi ion is on this..

@helenrogers5569 7 лет назад

Nanda Singh I recently had to deal with one such person. She appears to be with a passive aggressive personality. If I would have "validated" her big spew of undermining myself, I would have been the biggest fool. I would have set myself up for more abuse in the future. Most definitely if she had something constructive to say and not have been so purposely contrary, I would have validated. I had to shut her down. This type of person will never change and will continue to covertly show me she is superior. However, I believe I put a damper on her ability to put me through so much BS. I have to work with this person and while avoiding to engage in conversation as much as possible does help the situation, she still indirectly, by her actions shows others she "knows it all". I can't and won't validate her condescending conversation. I would be in a state of constant frustration. I have to set boundaries with her!!! The best way to handle her is to avoid her as much as possible. I have no problem agreeing to disagree with anyone. But most of these "know it alls" have an ego that can't handle this concept.

@laurieparis2203 6 лет назад

Helen Rogers Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. Just believe in your goodness, and push on. Hope you're feeling stronger! 🌱

@Ohh4udumn 4 года назад

My family is like this, but I’ve accepted it as a “respect your elders” thing and I don’t care too much. But my bf is like this and I can’t deal with it.

@coollikethat2691 3 года назад

Yes respect your elders if you can't tell them in a respectable way move around.

@Kkkllkll 6 лет назад

ty for the "gaslighting" advice helped a ton guys in comments !

@deborahtaylor7902 6 лет назад

Brilliant. Thank u. I’ve been struggling with this for so long and could not figure out a solution. One problem solved. Love it

@monocyte2210 7 лет назад

epic advice here

@chrispines1510 7 лет назад

This advice applies to most Geminis.

@starx8775 5 лет назад

Nope, my Gemini best friend is lovely - the Aquarian women are the ones who do this the most it seems. Funnily enough I’m Aquarian but not like that, and so they do it to me

@monanoorchaalida849 Год назад

Gemini???

@joshbrake7382 3 года назад

The worst part is when the other person says u are the one that always wanna be right lol

@sanannaE9921 6 лет назад

Never had much need to comment on you tube ever but this is a breath of no bull fresh air. Have watched loads of your vids... Everything i need.. Huge respect. Fan from Ireland and will chamipon you to more people. . x

@Jkstolz 5 лет назад

Hillary didn’t genuinely say anything she respected about Trump. Nice ☝️

@alicesaid9761 4 года назад

I remember that moment in the debate, amazing u brought it up. I was thinking about it the other day.

@Somesh5594 Год назад

One of the most knowledgeable person I have ever known. I still use your 5 second Rule. It works always. God Bless You. 🙏😐.

@hectorsanchez6908 2 года назад

Mel Robbins, You are so refreshingly smart. Thanks for your video. It help alot.

@anamat5025 2 года назад

Very interesting. My sister is this kind of people who only sees eye to eye with herself. Being her sister, it is impossible to not be around, but this technique is really helpful to keep a healthy relationship. Many many thanks Mel!! 😘🤗

@jacobkesanen8340 4 года назад

Your so right. Such stubborn people out there

@Emilia-tw8zf 5 лет назад

this was really helpful Mel! thank you!

@IshikaShanai 4 года назад

Oh boy did I ever need this in my life at the moment.

@mrs.bloxx-li 3 года назад

Thank you, Mel!

@gabe-po9yi 2 года назад

99% of these type of 'discussions' are people's opinions and perceptions, so I rarely have a dog in the fight. I've used a similar technique you're talking about, but my motive is for them to de-escalate (because I'm tired of listening to them and they're getting on my nerves, lol), rather than to get them to listen to me; however there are times engagement is needed, as you point out. Great advice.