My 11-Year-Old Threatened to Kill Us!

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My 11-Year-Old Threatened to Kill Us!
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4 дек 2023

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Комментарии : 440

@JJJJ-he8bz 7 месяцев назад

This is the saddest call I’ve ever listen too on this show

@carola5268 7 месяцев назад

The pain in this woman’s voice is so pure. I wish her and her whole family to find peace soon.

@nadiaceasar9212 18 дней назад

I wish I could hug her and tell her that she's doing her best and that she's a good mother

@nicomyth 7 месяцев назад

People commenting "she just didn't want him" have NO IDEA how impossible it is to deal with severe mental illness in a child. This child sounds like a RAD kid or some other severe psychological disorder. No typical/normal parenting can "fix" it. His father was an extremely abusive person and so it is likely an inherited mental disorder. She is a good momma who tried everything she knew to do. She has to protect and care for her other children too. It is a terrible, hard decision that I hope no one making these insensitive comments EVER has to make.

@dmalka336 7 месяцев назад

And danger is a real thing. You have to consider the safety of the others in the household.

@BG-nm5xt 7 месяцев назад

I agree, but violence is not inherited, but probably experienced and the child was present when violent ex-husband was with him. That's the source of the violence.

@simmentalmom 7 месяцев назад

I beg to differ......violence is a "coping skill" that the mentally ill use to cope; so in that way it is inherited....they inherit the illness and the coping behavior follows. Certain mental illnesses have violence as a symptom; can't say that the mentally ill person is responsible for the violence, just as they are not responsible for inheriting the illness.@@BG-nm5xt

@dmalka336 7 месяцев назад

@BG-nm5xt look into RAD, though. Just because it's not hereditary, doesn't mean it can always or easily be fixed.

@erismana2105 7 месяцев назад

@@dmalka336Of others in general

@Aquila822 7 месяцев назад

I am the equivalent of her 1 year old child who growing up had a sister 10 years older than me who threatened and attempted to kill my mom and siblings and burned a house down because voices told her to. While I do not know this woman's situation I can only say THANK YOU to her because it sounds she did the best thing for all her children. Those blaming her and "screen time" have the privelege of having no idea what they are talking about. The most qualified therapists and specialty camps in the nation refused my sister because they were afraid of her while police threatened my mother with abandonment if she tried to find another place for my sister to live, essentially forcing making her a ward of the state. Thirty years later my sister is now healthy and safe to be around and a good mother herself due to decades of treatment and therapy, so there can be light at the end of the tunnel but there are no quick fixes here and it sounds like this mother made the right choice for all her children, 11 year old son included.

@amiblack8294 7 месяцев назад

I'm sorry you experienced that and I hope this caller reads your comment as it is one of the most helpful ones on here!!!

@ack153 5 месяцев назад

I cannot imagine the amount of stress that caused you and your mother when you younger

@dilaranur-iu8vn 4 месяца назад

Wow is she schizophrenic? Sounds like she has a clinical mental disorder. My aunt is like that even after she had a daughter and she doesnt even care, she never loved her. How did she become this good?

@asdfjklasdfjkl408 7 месяцев назад

As a child from a similar situation, I feel for her. Here is a warning to women though, this is THE REASON to never ever have kids with monsters. The hurt will NEVER STOP.

@pixel9548 7 месяцев назад

Good advice. However, my son's dad was the worst. Imagine the three worst crimes you can. He's done them. My son is a smart, kind, creative, very ethical man. You aren't necessarily doomed if you fall for a bad guy.

@supernova11711 7 месяцев назад

The problem is that they don’t start out that way. These people are extremely convincing and the greatest actors in the beginning. They come across as the sweetest, most gentle people and can play this act for years even. Once they think they have you trapped, that’s when they turn. It affects the victims in unimaginable ways. I wish it was as easy as just staying away from people like that. If they were honest about who they were, everyone would run. Of course, they’re also the least likely people to tell you the truth though. I’m so sorry your sperm doner (guessing he never deserved any other title) was such a terrible person. I hope you’re able to break away from that and find a better path. None of it was your fault and you deserve a peaceful life.

@hillarybillary21 6 месяцев назад

@@supernova11711 bullshit., there are always signs. She chose her vaginal pleasure over reasoning and logic

@DeepestQuotesAnd 4 месяца назад

@@pixel9548 Every rule comes with its few exceptions.

@sommermcdaniel9723 3 месяца назад

@@supernova11711 Thats exactly it. The lure you in and once you fall for them, they start to change. I had thr exact same experience but reached out to someone early on, and they helped me see exactly where it was headed if I didn't end that relationship! It was scary how manipulated and confused I was.

@signalfire15 7 месяцев назад

“I just feel bad for giving up.” This poor woman 😢

@lisahinkofer2085 7 месяцев назад

I had to do this with my oldest daughter. It’s so hard to do but I always was in her life.we went through counseling and I was able to bring her home on weekends she was finally getting the help she needed. This was back in the eighties and not much was known about ADHD and depression and anxiety disorder. My daughter was ten when her father took his own life. It devastated her. I had to make a drastic decision. She was chasing me around the house with a butcher knife and running away from home and her behavior at school was bad. I was a single mother at the time all this was going on. Alone with her and my three year old. Now so many years later she is now here with me. We never lost contact. Mom you must keep in contact with your son. Never lose hope. Find out if you can work things out to be able to remain in his life. He is getting the help he needs but you must never lose hope.

@zeal4god402 7 месяцев назад

Woah I'm so thrilled the nightmare is over!

@lisahinkofer2085 7 месяцев назад

@@zeal4god402 nightmare. No. Helping your child and finding a safe place for myself and my younger daughter is why I did what I did. You see when you have that relief for just a little while from something that took all your body and heart to do it gives you back some strength to move on to the next hard thing that must be done. That is to love and help your family. This did feel like a nightmare but my daughter’s behavior was not the thing that started it. I was going through a bad marriage of an alcoholic husband and his issues. After his suicide my daughter was the one that it affected the most. She was close to her father. Please try to understand that the nightmare never leaves once the situation is better. It stays in the body and memories and yes it has made me strong and wiser. Now my daughter has been on medication a for years and she is high functioning. She lives with me and I love her very much. My husband and I accept her and we rally behind her. She works full time and pays her way through life for what she needs. She is very much her own woman. We are so proud of her. It’s not easy as a muddle aged adult living with ADHD and depression and anxiety disorder but she has a lot of support.

@TPWK216 Месяц назад

Im so glad things worked out for you guys! Im having a terrible day with my 8 year old son. He only woke up but he fights me in everything (not physically) so i had to leave the house just to vent and calm down. I know its my patience that turns out how this day will end but its so hard to be a superhero sometimes. John just says "dont let your kids get to your emotions " but it is so hard. I mean how do you do it? I dont want to be a boss sterotype emotionless kind of parent. I want my son to be able to cooperate. He just called me and told me he done what i asked of him (wich was cleaning his b*tt). Looks like we are gonna have a good day afterall ❤

@porscheh7120 7 месяцев назад

As a childfree woman and daycare owner…I can wholeheartedly say a lot of these kids are EXTREMELY rude, violent, and disrespectful. I had a 6yr old boy punch me in the stomach when he couldn’t have his way. That was his first AND LAST time putting his hands on me. For the safety of the other children, myself, and my business that was his last day in my care. I feel for this family because kids will definitely test you! 😮‍💨

@dabd8175 7 месяцев назад

The female and you need to submit to males

@TisHotMessHistory 7 месяцев назад

Good for you for making a decision to protect the safety of the other children, yourself, and your business.

@faebalina7786 7 месяцев назад

@@dabd8175huh??

@youheartmel 7 месяцев назад

The iPad kids are growing to be violent.

@lilred00051 7 месяцев назад

@dabd8175 grow up. The 1950s are over. We don't need your approval nor your permission any longer. Cope!

@NeccoWecco 7 месяцев назад

Letting him stay would be giving up on her family. Living with that fear is no way to live, and it's no way for her other children to grow up.

@emilyk.5664 7 месяцев назад

I feel so sorry for this mother! I can imagine she feels so much guilt. Some children have SERIOUS mental illness and not every parent has the tools to handle it on their own... especially with other children in danger of being harmed or even killed. No mother ever wants to give up on their child... I pray he gets the help he needs. I'm sure he suffers too. And I hope they can forgive one another.

@brightpage1020 7 месяцев назад

Preach!

@kathylovesmk 7 месяцев назад

MOST parents don't have the skills to deal with this extremely difficult situation. It requires experts. So sorry they had to go through this, but it doesn't help the child by ignoring the issues.💔💖

@flashthecorgi2053 7 месяцев назад

My heart goes out to this caller. I also think this is a good example of how well trained Delony is. He knew she was in a fragile emotional state (rightfully so) and was so careful with the questions hence why he didn’t ask a ton of digging questions about all the abuse. ❤️

@margaretmurray7182 7 месяцев назад

he's a joke as a therapist and should not be doing this

@flashthecorgi2053 7 месяцев назад

@@margaretmurray7182 excuse me… speak for yourself! Dr. D is amazing at what he does. You aren’t going to comment under my postive with your negativity. Doesn’t work like that sister!

@OopThereItIs77777 7 месяцев назад

@@margaretmurray7182Where are your degrees, Margaret? Where is your experience sitting with parents of dying or already gone children? Where’s your experience of sitting with addicts? Where all of your thank yous? Where are the people saying you’ve saved their life? Got sit down somewhere

@TPWK216 Месяц назад

I completley agree with you. Ive bin to therapy multiple times since i grow up in a house hold with emotional abuse and non physical contact. Ive sufferd from severe depression multiple times in my life since do to isolation cause i can not let people get close to me. I am destened to be forever alone. All the therapists i met just want to hold my hand and say "you doing a good job". But thats not what i need. I dont want someone to feel sorry of me. I want to change and i want to move forward in my life. Deep down i also do want to have what everyone else has. A parner in life. Thats why therapists like dr. Delony must come forward. I think someone like him would be so good for me. Thats why i listen to him 🙏❤👏

@anneshirley9560 7 месяцев назад

Oh, my mom had to go through this with her son. This was so tough for her and my sister, because all of the attention was towards him because he was such a problem. It's affected my sister deeply, even as an adult. Eventually my mom did give up custody to the state because he was hurting and trying to kill people. ( he pushed my mom down that stairs when she was pregnant and said the only thing he regrets is that she didn't die and tried to stab my sister) no mom wants to give up their child. :(

@abark 7 месяцев назад

Your mother's son? Not your brother? Let me guess....

@anneshirley9560 7 месяцев назад

@@abark half brother.

@abark 7 месяцев назад

Of course. @@anneshirley9560

@erismana2105 7 месяцев назад

So he was like that before yet your mom choose to have more kids ?

@COINsimp2024 7 месяцев назад

@@erismana2105what a stupid comment.

@brightpage1020 7 месяцев назад

She didn’t give up on him. She gave up for him. And for the safety and well being of her other children. She can say, “we have 4 children. Our eldest son isn’t with us today”, when she’s asked. “He’s not here, today. Thanks” is all that’s necessary. Maybe a “You can help us pray for him, his health, and his well being” if she feels comfortable, or “he’s getting alternative support that he needs right now. We’d be grateful for your prayers on his and our behalf. It’s hard not having him with us, and we know you care for him, too. Thank you.”

@hillarybillary21 6 месяцев назад

Bullshit.

@crazeekids9744 7 месяцев назад

This lady really needs to go talk this through with someone. There is a lot of grief to process here.

@jet4415 7 месяцев назад

I was in special ed and dealt with “Emotionally Disabled” students. They will sucker punch you out of nowhere. I left the profession. You can’t tell me that this is not DNA related as his father was extremely abusive.

@jellyrcw12 7 месяцев назад

I love this show a lot. Real people calling in about real problems. Dr. John is stellar!

@katyedwards3935 7 месяцев назад

I agree.

@ihateallyall 7 месяцев назад

I’m 23, no kids or family of my own. but I have learned how to be a good mother, a good wife, overall a good person because of this podcast. it’s helped me navigate my relationship with my boyfriend, that communication is so important. we’ve adapted some things I’ve learned here into our relationship. I’m so grateful John does this show and puts it out for free for us

@brightpage1020 7 месяцев назад

Agreed. The callers are gold. Dr. D.'s like a beacon for the suffering and genuinely tries to help them find peace.. Praying for all of them.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 7 месяцев назад

Timeline: Her son with her second husband is only a year younger than her son that is no longer in the home. And her first husband left her. So her first husband either left her while she was pregnant or within a couple of months of her first son being born. So her first son was not under the influence of an abusive person. She did state that the son was just like his bio dad but 10x worse. So it appears the issue is either a genetic issue or a traumatic brain injury or issue with development due to Mom being stressed or abused during pregnancy. What is unfortunate is that they don't seem to have an actual diagnosis. Also I think sometimes church influence can be supportive in this situation but in many cases it can be traumatic. The last thing on her mind should be keeping up appearances with, what do I say when people ask about my kids. I am not okay with the line "the health professionals at our church..." Watch John's body language after she says this. I would also say, with Mom doing this poorly mentally due to the trauma, please stop having more kids until you are well. I wish John asked for details on the current marriage because the odds of someone getting out of an abusive marriage (getting left, not leaving) and diving straight into marriage/parenthood in a new healthy relationship without time to heal and deconstruct are quite low. The pastors son impregnanting a newly post partum and probably still legally married woman has a lot of red flags. My conclusion is that this call was very surface level information and there was not anywhere close to enough info to give real advice.

@stephaniec5215 7 месяцев назад

Best comment and FACTS unlike the advice given.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 7 месяцев назад

@@wordsalad01 She did say therapy for the child started around 4 years old. The children are all living in the home, no talk of a step mom. I think if they were step children they would have had the kids living with their mom instead of in a dangerous situation. But again, it was such a surface level call so who knows.

@erismana2105 7 месяцев назад

@@wordsalad01She is omitting facts on purpose and that's a red flag

@jones2277 7 месяцев назад

great skills of deduction.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 7 месяцев назад

@@erismana2105 Agreed

@sherriledbetter-freelanceh8743 7 месяцев назад

She did the right thing to protect her and her family. We had a couple of young brothers (teens) in my area that killed their whole family except for a younger sister, years ago. They were tried as adults and have been in prison for years.

@lilithowl 5 месяцев назад

Horrible!

@a4shep 7 месяцев назад

This episode also got me thinking about something else. I did a little reading up on this topic after watching the episode, and discovered that some states are trying to restructure their mental health systems so that no child has to be relinquished like this (i.e. a child like this still gets the services they need, but the family can stay fully involved from a distance and don't lose legal custody). It sounds to me like KS hasn't quite gotten there yet. In any case, this kid is going to have a long road ahead of him finding love and acceptance in his life if he manages to get "whole", not to mention some serious challenges finding a stable living/work environment with his history. Hopefully, a compassionate person in the system will step up for him to love and support him once his time in the boy's home is finished. Honestly can't even begin to imagine what losing his family has been like for him emotionally at such a young age, especially if he's realized that he might never see them again. Prayers for everyone involved. Apologies for the long-winded comments.

@yvetteroberts3147 7 месяцев назад

This poor unfortunate mother. This woman needs counseling. My heart goes out to her.

@colleenmccann1190 7 месяцев назад

This is such a painful story. The only thing I can offer is the story of my childhood babysitter. Her first daughter's birth ended in an emergency delivery leaving the baby bedridden, non-verbal, unable to feed herself and needing 24 hour care. Georgia lived 10 years - frequent admissions to hospital, sicknesses and emergencies - before she finally passed. In that time a baby sister - Dakota - was born healthy. The whole family loved and cared for Georgia, Dakota was the most devoted always making sure her big sister was taken care of first. Dakota missed out on so many normal kid activities because of the needs of her older sister, and after Georgia's death the lifestyle of the whole family naturally shifted. Dakota went to birthday parties, had friends over, played sports, went to dance recitals and went camping with her parents by her side. But for Dakota's mom, my friend, this wasn't joy it was pain. Every time she watched her daughter enjoying life, doing new things she felt hurt and crushing guilt because all of it was only possible because Georgia was no longer there. She said is feeling this happy and grateful betraying Georgia? Is this joy I get in watching my daughter do "normal" family things somehow mean I'm glad Georgia is gone? Learning to uncouple Dakota's experiences with Georgia's memory took many years, it was not an easy road but eventually joy won out. Instead of feeling guilty about all the things Dakota could do, it became about taking Georgia with them. My friend witnessing the experiences of a loving little sister on behalf of a departed big sister. I hope this caller finds a way to do the same.

@michelehaan3738 7 месяцев назад

Adoptive mom of kids from trauma here. At different times I’ve had to send kids for institutionalized care or no contact with a child because of dangerous behaviors. It’s always heartbreaking and impacts the other children in ways you don’t anticipate. When asked how many kids I have I tell them without qualifying the living situation or the relationship. Lastly, a word of encouragement to parents in the struggle, never underestimate the power of the Lord’s hand in your child’s life when they are not in your care.

@annieacevedocruz 7 месяцев назад

I feel for this mom. My sister in law had to do the same for one of her sons for the safety of the others. It has been really hard on her.

@meesh1002 7 месяцев назад

No bashing the mom what so ever. I feel like she did the right thing. I always say be careful who you have a child with because those genes will trickle down into the child, and it looks like that’s what happened here.

@elyse443 7 месяцев назад

Yes it’s her fault because she married a psychopath who gave the child these genes. Very helpful. She wasn’t “careful” who she had kids with. Wow!

@meesh1002 7 месяцев назад

@@elyse443 not accusing blame to anyone here. A lot of people don’t think about those types of things. Please don’t put words in my mouth.

@SharonBurc 7 месяцев назад

So real. I think about this all the time. My current partner is amazing, but I feel like I need more time to assess behavioral partners and traits to know for sure if I’ll be having a child with him. I think I’m being picky for the right reason.

@ihateallyall 7 месяцев назад

@@SharonBurca lot of my mothers side struggles with depression and addiction. I too have an addictive personality and have dealt with depression, OCD, and anxiety since I was young. but I also have many good traits, especially physically. it’s a battle of whether I want to procreate or not.

@KathleenMcNe 7 месяцев назад

Some people give more thought to choosing a cellphone plan than they do choosing a person with whom to have a child. I've witnessed people choose to have children with someone who has behavioral/mental/emotional/criminal problems. When bad things then happen, which negatively affects the children, they seem genuinely surprised, when, in fact, the result was inevitable. I hope people learn from this caller's experience.

@madelinem3216 7 месяцев назад

Gosh that letters in the shoe box idea is brilliant!!

@suen5006 7 месяцев назад

My neighbor had to turn her very violent son over to the state to protect herself and her daughter. She had tried everything, just like the caller. So sad.

@carolallison9685 7 месяцев назад

My middle son was abused by his ex step mom, and it really screwed him up. He was only over there for a few months over the summer and it really caused him a lot of psychological issues. A lot of fear, anger, and aggression. Fortunately he was only 3 at the time so we were able to get him some early intervention, and now at 13 he's a great kid. He only experienced this for two months and it caused issues that lasted years, so i can imagine a kid living with an abusive authority figure long term could really cause some problems. I hope this kid gets the help he needs, and i hope this family can one day heal from this.

@littlemaridee 7 месяцев назад

I can feel her heartbreak. She just wants the best for her kids and her family and she deserves it. It's so unfair.

@javaskull88 7 месяцев назад

My heart breaks for this poor woman. She made maybe the most difficult decision a person could ever make. I hope she gets into really good long term counseling.

@DaveTexas 5 месяцев назад

Someone I know from high school had this situation. Her son from her first marriage became violent before he even turned 10. He tried to harm other kids at school. He was arrested and had to spend time in a mental health facility for children. My friend remarried and had two more kids while her oldest child was in the mental health facility, but that boy ended up coming home when her two younger kids were one and three. Things got bad very quickly and the oldest boy threatened to kill his siblings. They had him arrested again but this time he wasn’t taken out of the home. They had five-day-a-week individual and family counseling, they put him on medication, they even had to lock him in his room at night when everything else didn’t work. Finally, he assaulted a girl at his school and he was locked up for nearly a year in a high-security juvenile facility. They ended up sending him to a military school, with the understanding that he’d be receiving intensive psychological counseling and appropriate medications. The school made it clear to him that misbehavior of any sort would be met with swift and severe consequences. He tested the boundaries, of course, but he eventually got the picture and ended up not getting into further trouble. When he graduated, my friend wouldn’t let him move back home, but she found a program for young adults that was sort of like a halfway house. I don’t know many details about his life after military school, but he does seem to be making an effort and staying out of trouble. He actually wanted to join the military but was turned down. My friend says he’s taking classes at a community college and working a part-time job. I don’t know what got through to him - the discipline at the military school, the counseling, the medication, or all of the above - but he has really improved and seems to be WANTING to become a better person. My friend, of course, felt like the worst mother in the world for many years. She’s needed as much counseling as her son has. She knows that none of this is her fault. The son is mentally ill and nothing she did for him at home could do anything to help him. She had to give up custody of him in order to get him the help he needed, and that was the best thing for everyone. So to the caller - it’s not your fault. You’ve done the right thing.

@animatedaries6806 7 месяцев назад

Poor woman I’ve been in similar situation. No matter how right choices are she will never feel it was right. It is one of those moments when as a parent you feel nothing is right.

@jones2277 7 месяцев назад

narcissism and psychopathy are heritable traits. they are atypical neurotypes, just like autism or ADHD. it's entirely possible that he was born with a genetic issue that impacts his empathy, impulse control, tolerance for frustration, and experience of pleasure. these could be the same traits that were manifest in her abusive ex, which is why you should pick your sexual partners wisely and be even wiser about who you have kids with. some traits were not meant to be passed on. look at how the child is suffering.

@flyandshy00 7 месяцев назад

Autism and adhd are not genetic. It's caused by environmental factors if a woman used some meds and it damaged the fetus or something a kid got when he was young.

@jet4415 7 месяцев назад

The disordered love to pass on their genetic code and then leave the building. Rinse and repeat….

@franziskani 7 месяцев назад

narcissism is NOT hereditary (see the channel of Dr. Ramani, they are made not born). And it is not clear at all that the child is a psychopath, let alone a narcissist (which is only diagnosed with adults anyway). This woman had an abusive relationship, was abandoned by her abuser during pregnancy (or shortly after giving birth) and went straight for the next relationship. We can savely assume that not all is right with her either. Moreover she might have taken drugs, or been under a lot of stress during pregnancy.

@OopThereItIs77777 7 месяцев назад

Narcissistic people are not born…they’re made. My degree is Psych with a focus in child studies. It takes an event or a series of events to create a narcissistic personality. Once narcissists, they cannot go back to before.

@hillarybillary21 6 месяцев назад

Inheritable.

@brightpage1020 7 месяцев назад

I bet there’s a mom listening who sees this scary and threatening potential in her family’s future. And I bet that the courage it took to make this call might help her reach out for help sooner rather than later so they can avoid it or worse. Maybe if there are 1 or 2 women, like in children’s ministry at church or something who can help let other grown ups attending know it’s a painful subject but the family is doing all they can to support his well being from afar, and they’d appreciate privacy about his absence at this time. That might help. Get some supportive gatekeepers that don’t have to go gossip about it but could help stop that from going around.

@imunique10 7 месяцев назад

kids are violent these days, even murdering their parents. i hope hes not so angry he grows up and come back for them. hope he get the help he needs to be healthy and whole.

@vjs4539 7 месяцев назад

He probably won't. The state will only make him worse. He's probably being sexually abused right now from a state worker

@sophiawish9772 7 месяцев назад

My dear, you did not give up, you did what was best for your son and your family. If your son had harmed someone in the household, he would have a grim future. Now, he has hope that some therapy may in time help him. In the meantime, you have a safe home for your children and you husband. You have not lost your older son, he is living in another location for this time. You can always pray for him. Maybe there will be some correspondence with him in the future. Dr. John is right on.

@coolaunt516 7 месяцев назад

This is a heartbreak to listen to.

@Rocky_the_cat_sitter 7 месяцев назад

oh man, I just want to reach out and give this woman a hug.. the pain in her voice is heart wrenching

@courtneyriley185 7 месяцев назад

Not the little boy? Hell with the little boy she GAVE away to the government!

@marybratton5514 Месяц назад

How amazing that these parents had an option to keep themselves safe, because so many families have nowhere to turn.

@ChardeeMacdennis339 7 месяцев назад

This one hurt 😢 I felt her pain. I can’t even imagine having to make that decision and my heart just hurts for her. I hope she can find forgiveness for herself and peace ❤ Dr J really handled this so well.

@MrCPPG 7 месяцев назад

I have to wonder if the abuse the 11 year old witnessed growing up in the environment of the abusive husband shaped how this 11 yr old came to be this way. I suspect the abusive husband was also abused. Perhaps, unbeknownst to the mother, the father abused the 11 yr old over the years either mentally, physically or sexually.

@bufficliff8978 5 месяцев назад

The abusive father was gone either during pregnancy or within the first year of the 11-year-old's life because her son with the new husband is just a single year younger than the 11 year old

@kathypenner3478 7 месяцев назад

My heart goes out to this woman and her family. Dr. John handled this so professionally. I could see the hurt on his face for her. I pray that the Lord will be with this family in comfort and brings help to there needs. Thank you Dr. John for all you do for people who call in.❤️💕❤️

@malloreygarrett892 7 месяцев назад

Omg I SOBBED listening to this call and the response John had for this woman.

@ashleym.2981 7 месяцев назад

As a mother, this is heartbreaking. I feel so bad for this mom. Sending prayers and healing to her and her family.

@timverburg414 7 месяцев назад

It is possible for a child like this to become an adult and come back in their adulthood and in their right mind and apologize. I have experienced this. It takes a lot of prayer and patience and a work of the Lord. Don't expect others to understand. And don't feel like you have to defend yourself. It's like teaching calculus to a first grader. Many blessings.

@sueblack5794 7 месяцев назад

If his father was that way and it very much sounds like it, it is way beyond "right mind". That sounds like church crap teaching of just "getting into the right mind" and they will be OK.....without considering the actual physical & mental barriers & limitations of mental health.

@UnknownWarriorZz 7 месяцев назад

An 11 year old is absolutely old enough to be a real danger. I am 6 ft 250 lb guy that played college football. One summer I did an internship at a middle school for troubled kids 6-8th grade. Number 1, I was shocked how big kids are nowadays. I was constantly passing kids in the hallway that were eye to eye with me, many of those 7th and 8th graders were 6 feet tall, or close to it, and also big kids weight wise. People think 11 is like a toddler, it’s pre-teen and they struggle with the same issues teens do. I have absolutely no doubt this mom had no choice and if she had not taken the action she did? By 12-13 years old this poor kid would have done something to destroy his life, and the life of his family. It’s just unfortunate he’s always going to have that resentment towards his mom…boys have special need for their mothers and I’m sure his memory of the situation will be that she abandoned him.

@krystalgardiner5591 7 месяцев назад

yeah my 9 year old son is over 5 feet tall and 180 pounds. his dads 6”4

@flyandshy00 7 месяцев назад

7 grader is a 14-15 year old, not 11. But yeah, he could kill. Just heard about a 8 year old serial killer in India.

@liveinms9949 7 месяцев назад

This happens often in families with mentally disabled children. Other ppeole dont understand that you have to keep your other children safe.

@katyedwards3935 7 месяцев назад

I feel like this is the kind of person who would eventually go on to either live a life of crime or commit suicide. Hopefully that's not the case and you can have supervised visits with him one day.

@avocadoaficiando 7 месяцев назад

What purpoose are you trying to achieve by making such a loaded comment? You're not adding anything to the conversation by offering up such inflammatory remarks, especially if the grieving mother is reading these comments. Grow up and check yourself

@rachelgooden9981 7 месяцев назад

Heartbreaking! John is awesome

@ChaiLatte13 7 месяцев назад

Gotta love the commenters here. The same commenters who tell people to dump a spouse for any reason think they could take care of an 11 year old violent child. I cannot even imagine what this mom and family must have gone through.

@johannanguyen9101 7 месяцев назад

Are you seriously comparing a full grown a** adult with a fully developed frontal lobe, to an 11 year old child ? And a spouse to a son ? Jeez.

@elyse443 7 месяцев назад

So true.

@Mint-kj9kw 7 месяцев назад

The 11 yr old child has demons/generational curses. Most people don't know how to do deliverance. Sadly enough, they will just medicate this child which is not the answer.

@ChaiLatte13 7 месяцев назад

@@Mint-kj9kw There's a guy locally that thinks everything is a demon and generational curse. It is nonsense. He has claimed all sorts of demons have left people, but again it is just not true. When you think everything is a demon, you think everything is a demon.

@debra7241 7 месяцев назад

My heart just broke for this mother…the idea of writing letters to her son will be cathartic for her, and God willing for her son someday.🙏🏼❤

@sueblack5794 7 месяцев назад

This is just heartbreaking. I seriously can't think of anything worse because there is no good ending.

@emmasweetland4838 6 месяцев назад

I was in a very similar situation and I completely understand how you feel. Especially the bit about how hard it is to talk to people because a lot of them will judge without knowing the details. I hope this gives you some hope - he is now 22 and has become a really good person (though obviously he still has struggles). He also thinks I did the only thing that made sense - both for us but also for him because it made him change ultimately. Good luck and I’m sending hugs. Xx

@fire12731 7 месяцев назад

I’m sorry for this family. Very sad. This is a rough very rough situation. I feel so bad for these parents 😢😢😢😢

@ES12399 7 месяцев назад

This child sounds like he is a psychopath. The parents did the right thing. I'm so sad for them, but they will have peace in the house when the dust settles. I'm very proud of them for doing such a hard thing but one that protected their other children and themselves before the worst happened.

@santafilipina9020 7 месяцев назад

Yes, very concerning. I was thinking this child has a burgeoning psychopathy.This child will soon be an adult and who knows the kind of havoc this person will do.

@user-uf9xw6bu6e 7 месяцев назад

@@santafilipina9020tbh its best not to assume with children my sister got expelled at 6 for chucking a chair at a teacher and punching the swimming instructor. Everyone at the catholic school we went to basically thought she was mental and destined to be crazy. She went to a special school and had the quickest time getting into the padded cell ever 😢. Anyway it turns out that she was being abused by my dad physically and emotionally and being locked in her room all day without love or attention. She was even put on antipsychotics are a child Of 6-7. She went to a nicer public school at 8 and thrived there. As a teen she was docile and kind and did well at school. Shes now 27 in a long term relo, is finishing her third degree and has worked full time since 18. She has gotten diagnosed with adhd and level one autism. But it was the abuse that made her act out. She volunteers and runs a women’s rights group and shes always travelling for that and shes even done courses to get extra diplomas while doing uni. Its easy to write children off but they cannot fully diagnose psychopathy until 18. Conduct disorder is often a sign it could be the case however.

@Breyerluvr4eva 3 месяца назад

Crying listening to this. This is so heartbreaking to hear as a mom. I feel for her so much.

@VH-lp4ll 6 месяцев назад

Damn, this was hard to listen to. I really feel for everyone involved. Everyone is going to be ok though, I really feel it. Yes, it’s going to be a difficult road ahead but brighter days are in the future. Much respect to you on taking this call and your advice to her. God Bless you Sir and to the caller & her Family.

@mahgimay2490 6 дней назад

There needs to be more help for parents in this situation. It sounds like that boy was loved and helped - like a lot of 'troubled kids' are - and theres just not enough resources.

@sign.language.l5765 7 месяцев назад

Definitely sounds like RAD - so many stories of similar situations and heartbreaking decisions. I wish we could have more funding for kids with RAD or alike issues.

@a4shep 7 месяцев назад

Longtime listener, but first time commenter, so bear with me. Here's my take. I don't think this mom made the wrong decision with the resources she had at the time. That said, this situation is a symptom of a much bigger problem. We have a broken mental health treatment system that just can't keep up with the demands put on it. Had this family been in another part of the country with better resources and treatment options, he might have gotten the proper diagnostic testing and supports he needed at a much earlier age. A good analogy here is, imagine you own a Mazarati. If you live in a place like Wichita, there probably aren't many certified Mazarati mechanics, but there would probably be more in a place like Miami or LA. If you stay in Wichita with that broken Mazarati, the problem just gets worse and worse even if you find a subpar mechanic to do the job, but in Miami or LA, you might be able to find the right mechanic much faster because there are simply more qualified mechanics around. Not a perfect analogy by any means, but the same basic principle applies here. Better resources=Better Outcomes.

@user-yf6cd9bb8t 6 месяцев назад

She can still let her son know that she will never give up on him. She will always do everything she can to help him. Taking the step to remove him from the home was a step in helping the son, not giving up on him. If she had left him in the home and he had hurt someone, all of the children would be taken away. Watch "Lorenzo's oil." It just shows how the parents never gave up on their child. If your son knows that someone is in his corner, praying and fighting for him, it will make a big difference in his life.

@christineb1989 7 месяцев назад

I feel for this mom so much. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of help. You have to either be broke or rich to get help. I’m Not poor enough to get help and have no medical insurance. My two oldest sons were never violent, but my 3rd son who’s 17 gets very violent. I have to tip toe around his feelings. It’s not like he’s a little boy I can put in his place anymore. He’s good about listening to his dad, but once he’s gone at work. Tried getting help for his suicidal thoughts they left him on the ER waiting room for 24hrs. I can’t leave him alone with his sisters. He hates that he’s violent and that’s why he gets suicidal. Everyone loves to judge parents, but we are people too and it’s so hard to know what to do unless you’re in the situation. Also judging causes a fear with trying to find help.

@ihateallyall 7 месяцев назад

god is that true. I make just a pinch above the poverty line, like $1-2K above.. so I make too little too afford anything but “make too much” for assistance especially health insurance from the state

@RepentImmediately 7 месяцев назад

You need to call the police when he's violent or actively suicidal. You're not doing him any favors by protecting him from real life consequences. He's almost an adult. If he's assaulting you he needs to be arrested. If he's actively suicidal he needs to be committed. Sorry but I don't have any empathy for someone who seemingly has at least 5 kids but can't afford health insurance. That's EXTREMELY irresponsible. That boy should have been in therapy and on meds a long time ago. Now he's at a point where arrest or commitment are the only options. Medical professionals who determine someone is a risk to themselves or others are not allowed to send them home. Making fear-based decisions is a luxury you can't afford. You need to do the responsible thing now. Next time he's violent or actively suicidal, call the police. Get on the healthcare marketplace before December 7th and apply for subsidized health insurance. If you don't qualify or the premium is still high, you're gonna have to make some budget cuts or get another job so that you can pay for it. This is your responsibility as a parent.

@TesriaT 7 месяцев назад

@@RepentImmediately Firstly, people's financial situations can change, you don't know that she was struggling with money when she had 5 kids so let's not use this as a chance to shame poverty (especially considering the recent huge hikes in cost of living the last couple of years!). Also, budgets only stretch so far, if the money doesn't exist for insurance, then it doesn't exist. Maybe she can tighten her belt, but I know I've lived down to the wire in the past and couldn't find an extra 10 bucks a month, never mind the cost of insurance. Secondly, she said she did take him to the hospital and they left him waiting for 24 hours and then let him go. The idea that you're thrown into involuntary custody for mentioning suicidal thoughts is incorrect, and can even be harmful and put people off reaching out. Or make people like you think you didn't try and get help - I know multiple people who've tried to get help for suicidal thoughts, and got nothing but sent home. Thirdly, you don't know that she didn't try and get therapy and meds years ago, iin fact she says says she's tried to seek help and can't afford it but isn't able to get help designed for low-income people, so we know she did try. It's really damn easy to judge people without knowing their circumstances or really anything about the topic at all, as you've shown. She's tried to get help, she's trying to protect her daughters. Parents have a responsibility, but they're not actually superhuman and they can't magic resources from thin air. Maybe get off your high horse.

@kristinaolson77 7 месяцев назад

I substituted at a school where a kindergartener used to flip is off. Bad parenting.

@BG-nm5xt 7 месяцев назад

The boy was probably around her violent ex-husband for years and that's the source of his anger and violence. That doesn't mean her and her family can manage his behavior, so it was a good thing to keep her family safe. The boy has to be managed in a residential facility, probably.

@sueblack5794 7 месяцев назад

... and he may have inherited whatever personality disorder his Dad has as well. Mental health can be very much genetic.

@eatnplaytoday 4 месяца назад

He followed the footsteps of his abusive biological dad. It’s in his genes. That and she left him in the care of strangers. He’s a very angry little boy for a reason

@I-hate-youtube797 3 месяца назад

You’re spot on

@sopranosd Месяц назад

What the heck? She was forced to put him in state custody because he threatened to kill the family. That is not 'leaving him the care of strangers' as if she cast the boy aside. Jeepers. And BTW abuse isn't genetic; it is the result of being abused.

@Sarahhannahtx 5 месяцев назад

I am right there with her. Mamma I know your pain. You are a good mamma and you and your husband have made the best decision yall could for your son.

@kerrilucko5990 Месяц назад

What a devastating situation. So sad for everyone involved.

@laneyluneva 7 месяцев назад

Heart breaks for her and her family and the boy :(. I would think it's either natural mental illness or inflicted by the father, it's so sad.

@DeoVolenteMedia 7 месяцев назад

O my! This is so hard. My mother's heart breaks for this woman. May the God of all comfort and peace, grant her and her family healing and hope. May He bring complete freedom from the bondage of violence to her son. May He bring him true deep peace. May He reunite them in the grace of time. Amen.

@bahena735 7 месяцев назад

She needs to be and stay in therapy. Grief is not linear.

@nmejia024 7 месяцев назад

My heart goes out to this caller❤

@BeeTimesTwo 7 месяцев назад

Ugh heavy heavy heavy, my heart goes out to them

@vicki4349 6 месяцев назад

There IS NOT enough help for kids out there especially with severe mental illness.

@ngo7156 4 месяца назад

I agree and I feel they are putting kids with special needs in the mainstream school system with less or no teacher aides. Also, the size of the classrooms are getting bigger with less individualized attention. Scary.

@rogermarr9067 7 месяцев назад

Oh my heart reaches out to this woman, my wife and myself. When our daughter was around 10 years old she started threatening suicide and you know claiming how her life was so horrible only child and you know we asked other people what to do and you know we got some advice where we took her to a you know special hospital for troubled kids and she was gone for a week. Luckily we went and grabbed her cuz we realized that was not going to help her or help us. You know we were able to work this out because this was just a child acting out due to the pressures of social media and whatnot. But this lady sounds like her son is got real. Unfortunately issues and I can just only hope the best for her in this young man who's probably going to deal with a life of trouble but a sad, sad story

@colt4573 7 месяцев назад

So tragic. 😔

@shannonwitek 7 месяцев назад

My heart hurts for this mom I just watched our tribe of many interview someone with a similar situation but she got her son help and they said he was not a harm. He ended up killing 2 of her kids while they were all sleeping. You did the right thing

@Juniormintz584 7 месяцев назад

Happy Chanukah 🕎 I am eating a jelly donut. Plate of Latkis next. Todays gift I received a new leather jacket im wearing it now and it’s 😎.

@hahahallo12 2 месяца назад

What a brave and loving mother❤.

@catmoore1448 6 месяцев назад

People need to put the guilt on a shelf. As parents, there is no rule that we are going to be the answer to all of our kid's issues. Sometimes we don't have the skills. No crime in that. You took the advice of experts and got him the necessary help. Other people's judgements don't count for anything. We can't be all things to all people.

@rebeccabamford5505 6 месяцев назад

Having lived this with my oldest son I can’t tell you how hard it is to navigate. When my older set was in high school he went to school and told them he was going burn the house down and kill us all. He needed to be taken out of the house for the safety of my other children then. I was single mother, having had him to doctors and therapy since he was 8. He is doing better now as an adult but it was and has been a long hard road to get here. I pray for this mother and family.

@Mr.T314 7 месяцев назад

I am so sorry. This is not your fault! You did the best you could. Some people stay in these situations, and they end up dead or in jail!

@distorbia20 7 месяцев назад

Please don’t give up hope. Remain is his life. My heart breaks for all involved including the 11 yr old boy that is hurting

@courtneyriley185 7 месяцев назад

Hell no. She gave him up . She needs to stay the hell out of his life . All she saw was her Ex in that boy and saw a way to get rid of the reminder of the ex .

@distorbia20 7 месяцев назад

@@courtneyriley185That boy experienced so much violence and loss. I feel for everyone involved. Is not my place to judge a mum. She must been through hell and back. But he is 11 I hope the family remain in his life and figure this out. Is sad no one has contact with him at all

@jet4415 7 месяцев назад

@@courtneyriley185 Her x was disordered, abusive and violent. The DNA was passed down to the son.

@jacquelinelewis5627 7 месяцев назад

I'm just going to say that anybody who watches Dateline like me knows what's going to happen and a few years when he gets out and he's 18 he is going to come harder for them and want revenge he's not going to apologize for being a bad kid he's going to try to take them out I really would recommend that they try to change their name they leave the state and move away he is going to come find them and get his revenge because he's got nothing to lose and the ones who have nothing to lose are the most dangerous

@jet4415 7 месяцев назад

They love the revenge emotion. It fuels their disordered life.

@lidiyaye 3 месяца назад

I cried with her I went through the same setuation with my first born who has autism and adhd. Life can be thuf sometimes and it's truely heart breaking.

@autumn955 7 месяцев назад

To the mom in this, I pray you get peace in this place. I would also say as someone who has family who has been through similar things and who has worked in environments like the one your son is in if possible please visit him. Also, don't put the letters in a box send them to him! Remain connected if possible as much as possible. You are still his mom and you don't know what God will do. Even if your son may not understand why you did what you did now, he may later. You did the right thing! You loved your son enough to get him the help he needs❤️

@jcstuart6978 7 месяцев назад

Only one way to move on - forgiveness - and partnering with God from this day forward on everything.

@homewiththesomerfields 7 месяцев назад

My heart breaks for this mum. 💔❤️

@vjs4539 7 месяцев назад

Soooo freaking stupid that they had to give up their kid in order to get the help they needed. Just goes to show the state does not have the child's best interest in mind.

@Shannanwithana 7 месяцев назад

I would recommend finding some foster parents to connect with. There will be at least one foster parent that had to say for my family's safety and the best support for this child, we can't keep parenting them. It's a hard decision and the what ifs never go away. And no one really understands unless you've been there.

@bres9977 7 месяцев назад

As hard as this was for her it was the right thing to do. There are kids who kill their parents or entire families or others over something minimal (I.e. privileges being taken away). Definitely take those threats seriously.

@tracyotrhuiskamp1012 7 месяцев назад

I remember hearing that about the child has to b a ward of a state to get into certain medical facilities

@KathyClark-us9op 6 месяцев назад

I just wish the state would give her updates on her son. They should let them write each other once a month or so. At 11 he probably feels like he was abandoned. This mother did the best she knew what to do. I feel sorry for her.

@vincentgarcia468 2 месяца назад

I can relate with this family so much it reminded me of what I went thru and what I put my parents thru. Happened back in ‘98, won’t go into details but even to this day I still feel horrible for what happened that I wouldn’t have blamed them if they put me up for adoption but didn’t. Just makes me cry just thinking about it

@jimv77 7 месяцев назад

I remember being in sixth grade and this kid was an issue on the first day of school til the last day of school…..no respect for the teacher and others. I am now in my 40s and I google his unique name and saw his mugshot online….he has been in the state prison since early age 20s. So sad that at that young age….je was down the route already of a troubled life…..we can all agree that a 10-11 year old is still ready a baby mentally…..

@pixel9548 7 месяцев назад

Had the same experience with a boy my mother took care of for a while when he was 4. His mother died in a house fire. She was too drugged up to wake up and escape. Looked up his uniquely spelled name and he's in prison for s assault. I remember him as just a sad little boy.

@mikem3789 7 месяцев назад

Juvenile detention centers are available, if the kid is in that type of trouble, It is not known as to what state/federal resources are available beyond that to structure appropriate behavior in a young child/teen but sure seems necessary for any family experiencing something such as this to be working closely with the authorities/police and government, as with any of the cases of potentially dangerous individuals of possible threat/dangers to society. May God give the family strength and assurance as they try to handle this difficult experience. May God’s love comfort the child and guide their future. 😢

@Lavi_407 5 месяцев назад

I don’t know about this one…I’ve seen these stories play out and it’s usually way more complex. Moving on to another relationship and quickly having more children with a struggling child is not wise. There is definitely more to this. And didn’t she say that the child has had behavior issues since 3??? So…how did it get to this point? No services or support for 8 years? It just sounds like this child wasn’t given the focus and energy needed to heal his own trauma as a baby. This therapist didn’t give good advice. This child needs his mother even more. But a FOCUSED mother. Not strangers. -Retired clinical social worker🤲🏽

@RachelDavies-wn7ir 4 месяца назад

I have no faith in the state providing the boy with the help he needs. I can see him at 18, full of rage, coming after the family that rejected him.

@julesmpc1314 5 месяцев назад

Some people should not ever have children. So many excuses....

@paigenicholespeaks6172 7 месяцев назад

I wonder has her son been checked for PTSD? That is what my son who was very similar to this was dealing with. Her son should probably be checked for that and he also needs deliverance.

@amiblack8294 7 месяцев назад

Yes, Deliverance is usually overlooked but spiritual warfare is real and deliverance is often the answer. Wish more people knew this.

@paigenicholespeaks6172 7 месяцев назад

@amiblack8294 As someone who has a child that acted in similar manner, deliverance played a role in his healing.

@Veracityseeker7 6 месяцев назад

Agreed 💯

@bethanybrowne3803 7 месяцев назад

There is a picture book called “the invisible string” about kids “losing” friends and how they are always connected by an invisible string

@lilolmecj 7 месяцев назад

I am taking a leap here, relinquishing parental rights was a financial decision in order for the child to receive state benefits. Long term mental health care is terribly expensive. Due to the emotional state it was difficult to understand at what age the child was placed in care.

@lalie9995 6 месяцев назад

It could also be that they kept turning her away. Some places will say they can't handle your kid but if the kid is a ward of the state there are places that HAVE to take them in