I always forget you only socially transitioned 1 year ago!!! You appear so comfortable and at peace with yourself. Thank you for putting videos out there even if it´s hard, your content has personally been really healing for me.
Hello, Shaye! I'm so glad that you shared this, as I can fully relate. As a 6'2" trans woman, I am very self-conscious about how I stand out. Honestly, I am in awe of you and I think you're making incredible progress. Within the first 30 seconds of your video (at 00:20), you state that, "It's so hard to transition later in life," which is something that really hits home with me. I look at you and I see a beautiful, elegant, young woman and I hope that you see that, too. I am 52-years-old and I started my social transition in November of 2020, just after turning 49. I started HRT on January 12th, 2021, adding Finasteride to my regimen the following month. I had considerable hair loss, which Finasteride has done an incredible job of restoring, to a great extent. I had FFS on May 3 of last year, but I could only have the upper half of my face, including my hairline and brow bone/orbital rims done, due to having a serious injury to my jaw 19 years ago, an injury that also robbed me of my smile. I had a tracheal shave in April of this year, followed by voice feminization in May. While I'm only three months into my recovery from voice surgery, I'm already noticing a tremendous difference, for which I'm incredibly grateful to Dr. Mark Courey, in Manhattan. I highly recommend him, if you're considering voice surgery. You may not need it though. I was a bass baritone before my transition, so I felt that it was essential for me. Having a wonderful voice therapist has made a tremendous difference, too. I just want to encourage you and make sure you know that you're doing incredibly and I'm so delighted to see you thriving. Thank You for continuing to share your story!
@@maeganbrown6946 Thank You! I really appreciate that. It has been best for me to take things one day at a time and be aware of my own limitations. I wouldn't have gotten this far without great doctors and an amazing support system. 🧡
I have to agree, Shaye, you have a beautiful voice. Some of us women (born female) have lower voices naturally. And if I didn't know you were a transaction woman, I would have thought you were just one of the lower voiced females. You're beautiful as you are
Shaye you have a beautiful voice! I must say, I’m an older women. I never understood transgenderism until you. You’ve taught me a lot and I must say, I have such respect for both of you. You two are a true testament to love and marriage. And courage!
I want to completely validate Shaye’s insecurity AND also want to say that her voice is actually really pleasant and unique. Her voice was never very deep and always has had a softness to it.
I'm a speech pathologist who's also trans, and so many of my clients (and myself) can relate to what you're going through. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this and best of luck on your voice journey 💕🏳️⚧️
Alyssa Grenfell talks about the high-pitched voices that Mormon girls are expected to use to exude femininity. Amanda, does that resonate with you? Voices are so interesting and unique, and very much tied to our identities. I think Shaye’s voice is sexy and rich-sounding. As someone else commented, it’s sultry. I like it a lot.
lauren bacall, lizbeth scott (also a lez), rosalind russell, many, many other women with low sultry voices! damn they were sexy! good for you for going to voice training, not surgery. love you two.
I just wanna put this out there... The trans community has had some bad eggs, as far as advocates, and people that sadly end up becoming dare I say "bad examples." Particularly some celebrities or trendy folks. Some actually end up hurting the queer community more than helping. I think you two and your journey is one of the best, loving, and down to earth examples of trans people and their partners lives. Every video you two put out is so... just... authentic and beautiful! Keep it coming, I think yall are making the world a better place.
What a profoundly female experience. Finding our voices. The journeys are different, but I think most women can resonate in a way with your struggle, Shay.
I have lower voice than you and I was bullied about it even at university. I was told my voice is manly. I can’t do anything about it. Your voice is very pleasant, I think it is softer now even compared to your last couple of videos.
I just found your channel and have been binge watching for two days. Thank you and Amanda for your story and journey. A story that needs to be heard. This is the most current video I have watched. But, this is about 'your' voice. Your voice is so soothing and beautiful. You and Amanda are so strong. Whatever you decide, your voice will be heard.
Shaye, I’m sorry you feel insecure regarding your voice. Personally, I like it. I live in the Deep South, and your voice sounds like it has rained and the sun has come out, and it’s hot and humid. The air is thick, and barely breathable, but you just keep trying to walk and talk because you don’t have SCUBA equipment. You are a human, so you don’t have gills. There is nothing else to do but use your soft sultry voice as you walk on by with your beautiful wife Amanda.❤❤❤
Shaye, as someone has mentioned above I just love your voice. I find it to be very soothing to be honest. Idk if you’re a calm person a lot of the time but as an anxious person I could literally think of listening you reading books. Typically I get so distracted because of their voices and my mind goes wandering but I don’t feel that way with your pitch and resonance. I’m starting to read Come As You Are, can you do me a favor and make it into an audiobook? In all seriousness I’m not downplaying your insecurity. Be patient with yourself but know that you and Amanda have followers that love to watch your videos. Amanda you’re just fantastic too. As a woman I also struggle with caring and loving myself. It’s difficult when raising two little ones to remember I need to take time and care for myself. I thank you beautiful women for sharing your lives and love with us. ❤
I've been enjoying following your family's journey. I grew up in Springdale near the entrance to Zion, but I wasn't raised in the LDS faith. When I was a teenager in middle school (in Hurricane), I had to have a surgical biopsy on my throat and the surgeon warned me that when my voice started to come back, it was going to sound different for a couple of months. After the surgery, when I could finally speak again, my voice was very deep and I wasn't sure what to think about it until an older guy told me I had a "sexy, Lauren Bacall voice". I laughed at that one, and it totally cleared up my insecurity during those two months. So, go listen to some Lauren Bacall audio clips and you'll be fine. 💜
I came out to myself when I was 49, and started HRT a month before my 50th birthday. That was 2 years and 9 months ago. Over the past 3 months I've had FFS and bottom surgery. Even with all of that, it's working on my voice that I find the biggest, and most challenging component of my transition. I think it's quite difficult for a lot of trans women who have significant vocal dysphoria or who are actively trying to 'pass'. (I fall into both columns) Anyway, my thanks to you both for the entertaining, and encouraging videos. It's so nice to see two lovely ladies doing the work and maintaining your relationship and love for one another.
So I’m someone who actually doesn’t fully agree with everything you folks say/do, but I like watching for perspective and because I love the sound of Shaye’s voice. It is so calming!
Love you guys, your openness and honesty is heartwarming and educational. Most important is being yourself because you are awesome in all that is you! Thanks for sharing👍💕
Girl. It’s so hard. I get it. I’ve cried more before and after vocal training/practice than anything else. Sometimes it feels hopeless. Sometimes I get it. I feel best after some long drives where I just sing along to Alanis Morissette or Chappell Roan. It’s a great way to have fun and practice ❤
Minorities have had to do this FOREVER, it seems! (At least, during MY lifetime) Our adult voices are lower, in general. Often times, our home and professional/work voices are quite different, to be accepted, promoted or positively received. It's terrible and sad that we have to engage in such code switching! 🤦🏽♀️😒🤷🏽♀️
I’m a65 year old woman and my voice is changing into an old lady voice. So I’ve been thinking a bunch about this. I never even thought about voice until mine started to change. Mine is weaker shakier and higher. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket anymore. All this to say, more than anything love your self and where you’re at in the stage you’re in. Thank you both for taking the time to share with us. we are all learning a lot of life’s lessons with you. Thank you for answering with so much patients heart felt questions for those of us that are looking for compassionate understanding. Your journey is new territory for many of us as well. You’re both amazing and fantastic examples. Carry on and good bless❤
@GreatScotts Thank you for sharing so much with us. The information and personal experience that you share to us is a great encouragement and understanding that we are not alone. Thank you!!!
I am very in tune with voices . I really love people with deep raspy voices. Demi Moore , Tracy Chapman, Betty Davis, Katherine Hepburn, Rhianna . All the best Shay . 😊
Shaye!! I feel so much compassion for you and your journey. And wow, can you ask for a better wife? Amanda is just so loving and supportive. So many of us trans or not, can’t even imagine having someone so in our corners
Shaye I found your voice to be very soothing. However you need to do what is best for you and not go with what anyone else thinks you should. You’re a beautiful woman through and through! Love your family ❤
i cannot remember if I've already posted this comment but the two thought i always have is how Shaye is always smiling even when speaking and how lovely and peaceful her voice is!!!! it is so relaxing and pleasant! 🤍 I've truly thought that Shaye should read audiobooks for a living bc her voice is so soothing and inviting ❤
You have a beautiful voice. I believe you have done a lot of work to change how you sound. Sending you Positive Healing energy to overcome all of your insecurities for both of you.
My son is transgender and I’m sooo proud of the man that he has become ❤ and I’m a woman and have graves deceased so my voice is so low now and my thyroid is big so I’m asked often if I’m a trans woman 😂 but nope
I had a LOT of difficulty during my transition (ftm) with my voice, I found it so challenging emotionally because as Amanda mentioned the voice is such a personal and telling part of us and it’s so observable by other people. Its difficult to describe but the feeling of trying to connect with another human being through a voice that feels disconnected from who you are (or possibly even that triggers painful memories of your past in the closet) is such a jarring and isolating experience. There’s also a lot of myths out there about transmasculine voices that really didn’t help. Not me going on T thinking I would have a deep booming bass voice indistinguishable from a cis man’s after 6 months with no voice training 🙄 it's so difficult not to compare your progress to other people's and to respect your own timeline. thanks for making this video, it's a very vulnerable thing for anyone to share their insecurities publicly, let alone a trans person in this day and age online. I have big respect for people who value the positive impact of their stories over the harrassment of haters.
Shaye is a beautiful woman. I think you have found the perfect match with Amanda. She is so loving and understanding of your change. If it’s not too personal, I hope that she will have a Q&A and let us know when you first decided that you needed the transgender surgery and how Amanda found out that you were transgender. I think a lot of Amanda’s understanding because of her background and education.❤❤
I had a giggle when you said "transition later in life". I transitioned 18 months ago at the age of 57. I realise i will never look attractive or especially feminine but i do my best. Mostly to satisfy myself rather than others. There are always priorities at play. Do i have voice surgery and potentially ruin the voice i have (i love singing). Do i spend a lot of money on FFS and only enjoy the benefits for the (potentially short) remainder of my life. Do i have bottom surgery (at great expense) just to have my clothes fit correctly (very happy as I am with current long term partner). All very fine if i win on the lottery. Voice really is a difficult one as it's also about breaking the habits of a lifetime, of trying to sound like the other men just so I would fit in. All i want is to live my life as i am and doing so makes me very happy.
Hi girls! I just found your channel about a week ago through a yt short and I just wanted to say that you are both beautiful women, inside and out. I was instantly touched by your story and your love and I watched everything on the channel. I cannot wait for more as I want to be as understanding of the trans experience as I possibly can. I appreciate your work and everything you do to be yourselves and live your way. I think you bring a lot of hope and wisdom, for everyone who wants to be their true self, even outside the queer community. Sending you my love and support ❤ ps. Shaye, I understand your insecurities but you speak very softly and I think your voice is quite beautiful as it is (do everything that you feel you need to do to feel comfortable ofc, just wanted to point that out).
I recently journeyed through your area ( I believe it was ) and was my first time across the border from Canada. I wished so bad to be able to contact you both and just have a quick coffee for five minutes !!! Just to meet you both, and to shake both your hands and thank you for all the enlightenment you have provided me in all your videos. I would’ve given anything for that five minutes. ❤ Thank you so much Amanda and Shay. Bless you both.
I think you're both so beautiful and it's so heartwarming to see your journey in not only the transition, but leaving Mormonism, and supporting each other. You are a real fairy tale with a happy ending! ❤️❤️❤️
aww, so glad you made this video Shaye and Amanda... I noticed in the last few vids that you were working on your voice... I am too, and can totally relate, it's so hard to do! Anyway, I know you'll get there, and as always, thanks for sharing your journey with us!
You're doing great and it's lovely to watch your progress and growth through your transition 💜 I was fortunate to get blockers at fifteen and transition early to the extent that I never had to disclose if I didn't want to. Unfortunately, I just missed the boat with my voice and could never quite achieve what I wanted to with vocal therapy. The resonance came naturally but the pitch wasn't having it. Roll on seventeen years and I had a glottoplasty with Mr Al Yaghchi in London and it was the best decision of my life. My voice went from 140/150Hz to around 220hz without sounding like Minnie mouse. There was no loss of range and it sounds natural. Three years later and I've had two promotions as a result of the confidence boost. Vocal therapy can do a lot, and it most cases, it can get you to where you want to be. Sometimes it doesn't though, but there are options. Definitely do your research though. Thank you for doing what you do 💜
I’m not trans, but a lesbian with a deep voice. On the phone I always hear how can I help you Mr. Mooney. I respond Mr Mooney is deceased. It really irritates me. So, I can relate Shaye!❤
Shaye, you are a beautiful woman and though I don’t know you, I feel so proud of you and all of your hard work to be so authentic and rooted. And you have such a great partner in Amanda. Her support and encouragement is so inspiring. ❤
Just keep being you! You and your family are amazing! You have such a great support system! Everything will work itself out!! You are beautiful inside and out!😁❤️
Goldie hawn is a great example of how her voice has changed with age. She was so high and light pitched as a young adult and she's now very deep And heavy. It's ok to change and grow and appreciate it all along the way ❤
I feel so validated as well, as a taller trans girl my voice is so annoying low and buzzy. As well just how my voice dips and ugh it’s frustrating as hell. Starting voice therapy last week and starting to work on my resonance has been hard and brought up some more insecurities but I’m so glad I’m working on them and aware of them. Thank you again for sharing your journey, it’s so immensely helpful and validating. I wish you love and support in this time!!
My voice is also my biggest insecurity. Don't let it discourage you though! You're voice is beautiful! Resonance is hard to master you are doing so well!
I also started transitioning late in life at age 50, and I have been a singer & musician through most of my life as a bass/ baritone. I absolutely relate to all of the struggles that you are going through with your voice because I also feel like it is one of the things that still really outs me, especially on the phone. I have been doing some work on vocal feminization, but it is extremely hard to do it all of the time to the point where it becomes natural. I've been watching your videos for a while, and I am impressed with how soft your voice comes across at the pitch range you usually speak in. Keep up the good work, and know that you are a positive example for the rest of us!
In many ways I see how trans struggles are relatable to autistic struggles. Constantly taking a self inventory, trying to say what we want to say, how we want to say it and all the while trying to deal with the external world. Wish you both the best. To have a supportive spouse is immensely priceless. 😊
honestly I had a literal girlfriend in 5th grade that had a voice just like you very deep, plus your voice is very gentle and calming I think it fits you perfectly!
Girl!!! You are perfect! You have come so far!!!! If someone doesn’t like your voice just toss your hair and walk away cause you don’t have time for haters. It’s all about your family
I'm a woman, norm a girl. But I have been called sir many times. Your voice makes no difference at all. All the women in my family have deep voices. Don't worry you are good. ❤
Shae, Your voice is beautiful, just the way it is right now. It has a warmth, and a sensuous quality to it that comes off very natural and relaxed. I have not heard it expressing girlish excitement or happy emotions in the videos i've watched. So that may be an area for you to explore. Anyway I love your voice.❤❤❤
I just posted this re your Mormon Stories appearance: Shaye and Amanda: I found you through Five Two Love, and have subbed ever since. I enjoyed your decorating style and loved watching your house transform in to a home (I will never forget those Potteresque floating candles!). Amanda's projects and the renos in the theatre room along with some cool new tech (the lit up thingies on the walls) had me in awe, as we share the same aesthetic, althought not the same budget, lol. So I have been a steady follower...and I just want to say how much I've loved getting to know Shaye over the past while. And I especially LOVE your witty shorts that drive home strong points in the most creative and humorous way! I hope they change some minds along the way.
I so wish I could do something to make you understand the level of acceptance most of us feel for you and truly don't care about that. But then I also realize we all have our own insecurities. I truly admire you willingness to put yourself out there for the greater good. Please know you have given hope and knowledge and support to many!
I think this is why I do feel for trans identifying people such as yourself, because you are told by doctors that if you take these pills and you have all these surgeries you will be a woman, will pass as a woman etc when in reality this is very very difficult if not most of the time impossible, just because of the fact we are two sexes and this must be challenging and it must be hard especially for someone who has been told they can change sex and expects this to be the reality. In a way it is cruel, and unfair on yourself, like you are constantly chasing something out of reach and that must be absolutely awful, for anyone. I think that's why I advocate for self acceptance. I mean I'm a very tall woman, which isn't necessarily feminine, but I'm still female. I think in life sometimes we just can't be or get everything we want and that's the cruelty and reality of life. I'm a big believer that truth is kindness, and can be the biggest form of kindness. To be sold a lie is in my mind one of the biggest forms of unkindness. And you seem like a kind person, so all the more upsetting ❤
I used to get called the F-slur on the playground in elementary school all the time for my mannerisms and speaking. So I brainwashed myself out of doing those things. Was very happy to be able to rediscover the lost ways of expressing myself when I transitioned. Kids can be so cruel.
You 2 have and will continue to SAVE LIVES with your honesty, integrity and vulnerability with your posts. You are doing “the lords work” far more than any church or cult. Not only saving lives, but you are creating a space where people can THRIVE just by seeing all your courage and braveness. We all crave to see ourselves reflected in society, to see “someone” creating the mirror we need. And here you are doing that. Brilliant humans. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
Ahh, yes body image, right there with you! I always think about life decisions, the what if's...Just think Shaye, later transition= awesome cheerleader/partner in life! You are lucky to have each other in this journey :)
Shaye, I’m sure Amanda can agree but your voice is like one of her sewing projects with a crooked seam or small imperfection, Amanda will see it sticking out like a sore thumb but everyone else won’t see it and will say it’s perfect. I didn’t notice the pitch in your voice changing until you said anything. Your hard work is paying off and I love your voice. As a ciswoman with a ‘deeper’ voice than most, I think we fit in just fine ❤️ I’m sorry you notice it though and are self conscious about it. You aren’t alone in how you feel.
I enjoy watching your content so much. I am an exmo who also has a trans partner who is very early in her transition. Love is love and I enjoy seeing it reflected in such a sweet and vulnerable way between the two of you.
I have the deepest respect and admiration, for the way that the two of you are with each other in general, and the way that you formulate your sentences when speaking. 🙈
The voice. I know a transwoman who has originally a very deep voice. This person told me that. Because when I met her the voice was very feminine so that ond never would think it was a man's voice once. I asked how this is possible that you have a woman's voice. She told me she had lessons with a speech therapist. And the key is... Men speak a monotonous sound rhythm. The sentence always sounds in the same pitch. Women make more movement in the sound of the sentence. Higher and deeper and emphasize more colorful. This emphasis on speaking like a song. (so, saying ohhh in a very high pitch " Instead of oh in the same vibration as everything.) This makes whether you perceive it as feminine or masculine. But this person had everything matched on the outside or how others perceived her. But the problem was. Transition was at 42. And she did not know inside who she was as a woman. Who this woman was. Because no childhood as a girl. No puberty as a girl. No liking. No experiences as a woman. In short, no past as a woman...
You and your wife seem like such good people I would love being friends with both of you! God Bless you both! You will get your feminine voice just give it time!❤️💕
You have a lovely voice! I'm a natural born female with a very deep voice and am often mistaken for a male over the phone. Try not to be so self conscious of your voice. You're amazing.
What an important conversation! Your contribution to this discussion is very valuable! Thank you for sharing your insecurities with us, a boldly vulnerable thing to share! And Amanda, I hear you! The judgment jargon against women is quite disturbing! It’s a real pet peeve of mine! A few examples, muffin top, cankle, unibrow! So harsh! I agree to the practice of letting those judgments go and to affirming ourselves ❤ Much love Amanda and Shaye!
Your voice is getting there, keep trying the training, the surgery has its drawbacks. Basically the resonance with the male voice comes from the chest, i visualised it is speaking from the throat. Lot of trans girls try to talk falsetto and it doesnt work. One of the funniest tricks I heard was to try and imitate marvin martian on the old bugs bunny cartoons, and son of a gun it really helped my. It really helped to get rid of the resonance.
Shaye, I do totally get your voice nerves, and facing that is so sacred… I feel it is super gorgeous.. the resonance and the naturalness of it from within your new authentic visual expression is beautifully curious… it’s an interesting go here, that’s for sure..
I actually think your voice is so beautiful and super feminine. Very beautiful. Please know it’s not deep. It’s peeeerrrfffeeecccttt!❤ it is soft and kind.
I really understand Shaye's insecurity about her voice. It is such a defining feature, especially for transgender people. More than once, I found myself caught off guard when a person's looks don't seem to match their voice when it comes to gender identification. I would like to consider myself as a supporter of trans people. Ideally, I can't even tell. However, even more than looks, the sound of someone's voice still triggers an 'Oh, are you a man?' gut reaction sometimes. As a total aside, I have a random question for Shaye: what do your children call you? Dad, Mum, Shaye, something else? And how does that make you feel, especially when they do so in public?
I’d love to learn more about you and your family’s journey no matter what your voice sounds like, but I must admit I find your voice to be quite pleasing and soothing on the ears already! 😊
I’ve always thought your voice, after transitioning, soft, feminine and intelligent. Whenever I hear my recorded voice, what I sound like to myself, is totally different. I’m secure inside hearing my male voice, and attitude. The other day heard my recorded voice, and thought why have I tried to be in the closet? Who doesn’t know I’m gay? I would love a gay Mormon man as a partner. Their family values are remarkable, and raised as a Mormon, is an asset for any human. Shaye your voice is sexy and beautiful, the lower tones are comforting and gentle. In my opinion, women’s high voices are more difficult to understand. Two very beautiful women. I remember in the Navy, a fellow sailor was asked to leave the military. He was a women inside a man’s body, and beginning to understand? I hope him well and living in an abundance of love.
A lot of women over the past decade or two have been lowering the pitch of their voice in order to be taken more seriously in the work world. Abandoning the high girlie voice that says, "I'm no threat." Elizabeth Holmes is an extreme example. So, works-in-progress abound! I've definitely fallen in love with the resonance of someone's voice.
Your voice is fine. I know a lot of women from my parents' generation who sound like you due to smoking their whole life. I would say I don't really like the 'baby voice' that Amanda said she and so many teenagers had, it is trying to dumb down so you don't offend anyone. I also dislike vocal fry, which is so prevalent now. A thick voice, however, reminds me of those smoker women I look up to so much.
